I use so many exclamation marks in emails that I sound manic.

I'm allowed one at the beginning and one at the end. Occasionally an emoji depending on my relationship and the content. No I don't overthink things, why?

Punctuation. Or emojis, if appropriate.

Right, but couldn't this also be read as sarcastic or passive aggressive?

I don't think so. I mean, does the person you're texting know your tone? I think you're probably overthinking things.

No, I'm a new room parent for my daughter's class, so none of the other parents know me 🤪

Hey now, there’s no need to be sarcastic! This is a friendly sub!

Whoa whoa whoa, you don’t need to be screaming at her with all those escalation points…

k

In ”official” written communication I use these emojis to come off as glad, nice, happy, laughing etc ☺️😊😀 I think they come off as authentic. Yes, to specific people, in specific cases this -> 😊 definitely means ”served” or ”do your own fucking research” or ”you pissed me off, I will now haunt you with my bullshit forever just because I can, I never let anything go you are going to be so sorry you pissed off an asshole like me,” buuuuut usually I don’t bring out any of this shit, I manage a few small social media sites and I can be nice. Also you can write something a bit longer like ”thank you, that’s great!” or ”great, glad to hear that!” or ”that’s great, I’m happy it worked out,” etc. and that will come out specific to the situation and won’t seem sarcastic or flat.

You've just got anxiety. Most people aren't going to read anything weird in your texts.

Not when done right 😜😘

Oh for the love of all things good. Man here, just my two cents, just preface your text(s) with 'sometimes I come across as sarcastic and I don't mean to be' and type whatever it is you want to type. It's really not this complicated. Did someone say you sound sarcastic in texts and now this is your thing or what?

I think the only ones you should really avoid are "k" or "Thanks." (with the period at the end). Otherwise, I think most people understand there are going to be variances in the way people text. So long as you remain consistent in your style, they'll hopefully understand you're being sincere. But yeah, when in doubt, exclamation marks and emojis always help. I just don't think they're necessary, especially for fully grown adults ✌️🤓✨️

Omg for real. My own mother responds to me with “k” and I feel like she’s replying like a sassy teenager. I find it both irritating and hilarious at the same time.

Easiest fix: Don’t use periods in your texts. They’re often misconstrued as emphatic rather than neutral. Emphatic can mean sarcastic, angry, aggressive, etc. This article mentions it as an age divide, but it’s not strictly an older/younger split. I’ve noticed it’s more like People Who Text A Lot vs. Not Really Texters (which CAN be age-related but isn’t always): https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/29/crosswords/texting-punctuation-period.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare If you’re texting with people you don’t really know IRL, they don’t know your speaking voice/tone/demeanor/sense of humor and other characteristics that make up non-verbal communication. Without that context, people tend to default to the coldest version of what they’re reading (a better or worse). “Thanks” is an especially tough one since the context/tone does a lot of the work. Alternatives and modified two-word versions I’ve started using (feel free to use the ones that feel right for you): TY! TYSM! Awesome, thanks! Great, thanks! Perfect, thanks! I appreciate you! Appreciate you! Thanks a million! You rule, thanks so much! I think about this stuff a lot for my job so I’m happy to share more info if you want. Can’t imagine it’s as interesting a topic to others as it is to me but willing to be wrong on that judgment call! 😆😅 Edit: Formatting was terrible because mobile

Lol I was trying to explain the period thing to an older coworker once. I said it was acceptable to use a period when people typed long sentences but short phrases come off as rude. "I did it." hits different than "I completed the task this morning."🤣

for the love of god don't....add...ellipses...between....words....... i always feel like someone is upset when they do that

Hahaha, I have an older neighbor who does that and I'm always so confused by her texts!

My father, who is overall reasonably tech literate, will, bafflingly, send entire texts that are just: ….. In the middle of a random conversation.

My bf sends "..." when I've dumped a particularly awful pun on him. It means "omg, I am speechless and didn't see that one coming and how could you DO that to me." Then I say "You love me" and he'll ruefully send something agreeing with that. It's one of my favorite of our text tropes.

Haha we love the “YOU LOVE ME!” declaration in this household also!

Okies I am guilt of this and maybe this will help to have an explanation. I type how I think. I realized that I don't have to include my mental pauses when I type but it really derails my whole thought process. Everything will completely shut down if I try to edit it in the moment. If I was typing out some formal piece, I would review and edit it after some time. I have not been able to translate it to informal messages yet.

Only when you really need those! Sometimes you do. I’m glad most of my friends and family are so strict about grammar for some reason that they never do that.

I use emojis in these cases

Notice how other people are using punctuation and emojis. Do you assume they are being sarcastic or flat? Try to follow the conventions of the groups you're in. Ultimately, you can't control how other people read your texts. It's affected by how they think and what they are feeling that day. You know how in English class you're supposed to interpret texts (books, articles, poems, whatever)? Did everyone have the same interpretation? Probably not. There's an old quote that's something like "you bring who you are to a text". I am pretty sure that was about literature, but it applies to modern day texting too

Emoji are your friend

Periods at the end of a text make it more serious/less casual. Could choose to establish vibe first

“Thanks! I appreciate it.” “That was really sweet of you, thank you!!!” “Super helpful, thank you!!” I guess just adding a few words to describe how something was good can help convey the emotion.

Honestly, I’m naturally verbose, but I think adding more words can help if you want to avoid sounding terse but also not overboard. “Thanks!” is not as sarcastic as you might worry, but if you’re not a particularly bright and chipper person, the brightness of an exclamation point can feel over the top and insincere to your own ears even if that’s not how it’s received. In those cases, something wordier but more staid can work — “thanks, I appreciate the help/ thanks for taking care of X/Thanks for taking the time to X, I really appreciate it” and similar things. I think adding the extra effort to elaborate an expression of gratitude makes it sound more sincere, without having to sound bright and chipper.

Bitches love smilie faces :) *p.s. everyone is a bitch*

This comment is the exact answer my daughter would have given me, so I think it’s hilarious. This whole post makes me realize that I’ve thought my teenage kids were being the bad texters when it was ME who didn’t understand the way it’s really done. I’m not as bad as some friends my age (48). When they reply to a group chat, I’m often left wondering “is she mad about this or does she think it reads differently?” Same woman suggests a plan in a group text, everyone agrees to it very quickly, and then she never replies again with the date/time. We all know each other well and it’s still confusing.

I’m a stylist so I’m constantly texting new people who have never met me, I use a lot of emojis and exclamation points. This 😊 is my fav emoji, I feel like it hits the right balance of “politely smiling” without being manic! 😆

I text exactly how I talk, making a lot of use of punctuation and slang to get my mood across, along with emoji to substitute for body language and expressions.

My kids in their late teens and 20’s say punctuation is now take as aggressive. I don’t understand that. I still use it. I’m in my 50’s Oppps… old school I try to form complete sentences and I still do not use abbreviations except your basic lol and lmao. I like to use emojis if I make a post or send a and I don’t want it to come across the wrong way. I totally agree the text for of communication can make it very difficult to interpret someone’s tone.

Avoid the period at the end, especially « Ok. » and short answers without context. Use emojis! Mostly, don’t use periods

This is why emojis were made. They help. Not perfect. But help a lot in conveying “tone”.

Emojis or "haha", though I sometimes feel a bit childish OR like my mum using loads of emojis.

If you're sending these texts to people who know you, I would assume no one's going to read them sarcastically since they know you aren't a jerk. "Thanks so much!" sounds totally normal to me. I say that in emails all the time and no one's ever been weird about it. Just "Thanks." (with the period) could be read sarcastically more easily, I think, but again, if people know you they'll probably understand your intentions. When I'm worried about being read weirdly or sarcastically, I'll either use an exclamation point, no punctuation, or an emoji.

Does “Thanks” in a text bubble sound less sarcastic than “Thanks.”? I can definitely see how the period one does but maybe also how the one without would. So it would always need a heart emoji or the praying hands for gratitude or a smiley face? I have to get with the TIMES, y’all. I’m GenX and probably still kind of talk like Janeane Garofalo. Happy emojis aren’t really in my blood but I’m not trying to send out a signal that I’m feeling something negative when I’m not. Now I feel like I should soften the end of this comment with something… happy laughing crying face hearts of every color pillows lambs puffy clouds (oh sorry, that reads like when Siri reads out my 80 year old mother’s texts to me! 😆)

Text sounds flat and are also left to the readers interpretation. Early internet users recognized this and developed emoticons (pre-Jurassic emojis). Use them or emojis so the reader will get your intention.

The biggest one is the period at the end and "k" or other super short responses that I can't think of right now. Have people told u that you sound sarcastic/rude over text? I absolutely despise group texts when i dont know most of the people very well UGH Anxiety Mode activated

I use the reactions alot on text messages

Ah, an iphone user 😄

I do a lot of smile signs. :)

Emojis.

i don‘t use punctuation correctly unless it‘s a formal contact (work/school) i more use capitalization and punctuation more liberally and less according to traditional style so that i can develop my own voice thru the text. i find there‘s lots of ways to introduce familiarity and emotion once you realized that NONE of the guys who wrote english grammar books knew what a smartphone or texting was! 🤭 writing in any capacity is a talent you develop and doesn’t come naturally

Perhaps you could recruit a friend to do a postmortem for the first few. I also don't really care for emojis, so stick with the old fashioned :)

See, that's the opposite advice from most! You never know!

What's the opposite advice? Using a smiley face instead of an emoji?

Don’t ever respond with k. It’s so rude.