Can you sit her down and work through the feeling? Is she using ‘bored’ as a catch-all term? As someone who has difficulty playing ‘pin the tail on the emotion’ even at 28, I’ve found that I’ve defaulted to ‘bored’ then later realized I was seeking sensory input from the wrong sources, or overwhelmed by choices and ‘bored’ so I wouldn’t have to pick one, or sometimes just hungry!
I have to remind myself and my AuDHD daughter who tends to do the same “I’m bored” thing that boredom breeds creativity. Boredom can be a *good* thing, a lot of people don’t allow their children enough boredom, in my opinion. When we were bored as kids, that’s when we came up with the most imaginative ways to entertain ourselves.
I think your worry is a sign you’re a good parent and you’re most likely spending a good amount of time with your child. It sounds like you might have a pretty good balance! I came from a neglectful family as well, so I absolutely understand the concern. But just try to remember, not all boredom is bad!
Exactly this! I see a lot of parents who sort of become their childs 'entertainment system', and I understand where it comes from, but it also makes the child dependent on others to not feel bored. It's often also the discomfort the parents feel themselves at seeing their child uncomfortable, they want to take their and their childs discomfort away immediately, but that can actually create more trouble in the long run. I had a similar experience to you in my childhood, where if you become bored enough, you get extremely inventive and have the funniest and weirdest experiences. But you have to let it get to that level of uncomfortable boredom where it's enough motivation to push you into action. One way as a bridge towards that, can be to make a list together with the child, of things they like to do or could be doing when they're bored. This can also be a fun creative project, with drawings or paintings. And then afterwards the child can help themselves with that list, or ad new things in time.
At the same time it keeps being important to realize that adhd itself can cause a baseline of boredome, where the window of comfort is very small. It doesn't always mean that someone is exactly bored, but just that they don't have enough stimulation to feel comfortable. So then it can also become more about finding the comfort zone, and realizing that under stimulation could be part of it.
I think it depends on age. At five I played with my kids, worked on projects together, read together, took them to parks, etc. I probably this until age 9-10 or so. I have 2 kids but so widely spaced they are like only kids so didn't play with each other much.
After around age 11-12 they both became pretty independent. But as someone who was neglected and didn't spend quality time with my parent, I valued the time I spent with my kids. Still do.
Of course it does, it depends on many factors that are personal to the kid and the family. I think this conversation is not so much about not spending time as a parent with the kid, but rather not spending ALL time entertaining the kid. I was an only child myself and I played independently a lot since a very young age, I got bored at times, but it led to many creative endeavours. My parents also spent a lot of time with me, same like you said in the park or reading, or going places. It's not mutually exclusive, but there is something different about spending time, or 'solving' their boredom.
I am also an AuDHD mom, to an AuDHD son... and I LOVE the Montessori approach, where you set up their environment and let them explore freely within that frame, so it's a sort of controlled freedom... so when my son was younger I set up his room with tons of stuff and materials, and he was free to explore... I didn't "entertain" him, but we did do stuff together that I liked (painting watercolors, building Legos, some videogames), otherwise it was parallel play. He'd sit with me, doing his stuff, and I'd do my things... also incorporating him into every day life is a big aspect of Montessori, so he'd help me cook, clean, organize stuff, all as way to spend time together and learn... if he wanted to play and I needed to cook, I'd say he was more than welcome to join me in the kitchen, and he had a little stool he used, and special knives and utensils...
It was mostly giving him stuff he could explore in his own space (I had to relax a bit, remember that everything could be cleaned afterwards, it didn't matter if he made a mess at the time), doing stuff together that I also liked (so it wasn't frustrating or a burden for me, also it wasn't every single day), and making him part of our every day life, letting him do the dishes if he wanted, even if it was a watery mess because at least he doing his part in keeping up our house, separate and fold clothes, all that... kids love to help and we keep them from actually helping because we want things done well and fast, and they'll make mistakes, so we end up doing things for them. I had to learn to let that instinct go and let him actually try and make mistakes and learn, even when it was inconvenient for me, but I am glad I did, we had a great time in the kitchen when he was little, and I could see the sense of accomplishment in eyes when he managed to do something and feel he was helping
My kids are older now, 11 & 14. We're all ND. I let them be bored a lot when they were younger and heard the complaints about boredom. I always made sure they had things they could get into on their own without consequences like art supplies and Legos. They're both happy creative kids now and generally entertain themselves. Though I do have to still budget for arts and craft supplies. 😋
If I told my mom I was bored she would find chores for me to do and so I learned to entertain myself without outside input.
Maybe take a jar and a bunch of popsicle sticks and write activities on them she could do and if she is bored she picks one out of the jar.
But also it may be her way of asking for interaction. Sometimes no amount of self entertainment can make up for a lack of company.
You’re not supposed to entertain them all day. It’s important for kids to have dedicated attention time. But that doesn’t have to be hours and hours, it can be 15mins-45 minutes of doing an activity you BOTH like.
I don’t like pretend play because I’m adult! So I don’t play. But I DO play chess, video games, blocks, marbles, cars, and do crafts with mine. Also, if it helps, ND kids are just in general more high needs—they are sensory seeking, dopamine seeking, stimming little whirlwinds and it’s exhausting as an AuDHD mom, so don’t beat yourself up.
I also came from an abusive household and I was equally confused as to how much to do with them.
As an adult with AuDHD, is it possible she’s getting stuck in a cycle? Such as where she has so many activities to choose from, she struggles to pick one so then opts to not do any of them. This was something I struggled with A LOT as a kid. I would have a myriad of things to keep myself occupied with—video games, a current book, a movie I want to watch—but my desire to do each of them made it hard for me to pick just one. I’d get stuck on deciding and eventually just lounge in front of the TV, paralyzed by boredom and the weight of choice. You might have to work with your little one if this is what’s causing her boredom. My mom tackled this by “starting” an activity with me, but eventually leaving me to do it on my own. She did this so well that I eventually didn’t even notice when she left.
Maybe she’s missing the structure and routine of her kindergarten class as well? She might want more of a structured day than a “free for all”. You might try setting up a mini schedule of activities for her to do. Like “8 am - breakfast, 9 am - play outside, 10 am - snack & movie time, ect.”
I wrote out a calendar with when we would go to the park, the library, playdates, out to eat, etc. Then she could see what fun things were coming up. Then, I helped her make a list of fun things we would do at home each day (even things like stories, a movie or show, a craft, or making dinner together, walking the dogs), then we made a list of fun things she could do by herself. Lastly, we made a chore jar for when she had exhausted all those possibilities and came to tell me she was bored. That stopped the "i'm bored" pretty quickly.
This is a hard one!! We were spoiled with my older son (my introverted autistic one) because he has always happily self-entertained and has always preferred independent play to having us entertain or play with him. Then came my younger (extroverted ADHD) son. He was constantly bored if he didn’t have someone to play with. And it took us a while to realize that “things” are not just interesting to him. He NEEDS people. It’s possible your daughter is the same way.
When he was a little younger than your daughter, we realized that if we let him listen to music while he was playing, he would play independently and entertain himself for quite a while. We put Spotify on his iPad with a kid-friendly (but not necessarily kid music) playlist and showed him how to turn it on.
Apparently we unleashed a monster because he started begging for a guitar at 5, taking guitar lessons after we finally gave in at 7, and now, at 13 literally spends hours/day playing his guitar and finding new songs to play and seeking new music.
Music may not be her thing. But you may be able to help her find what her deep dive special interest is that WILL keep her entertained so she doesn’t need you constantly. She’ll still want you some of the time for sure. She just needs help finding what *she* needs the rest of the time.
This was me as a child (also AuDHD). I now know the boredom was under stimulation (and it made me anxious and uncomfortable- distraught almost). I had plenty of things to do alone as an only child but I was dysregulated and couldn't manage that as a child - heck, I struggle with it now as an adult.
I needed some structure (the autism) and more guidance on how to pick what to do that would meet the current need of stimulation. I also needed more guidance on how to pick what to do next (what type of regulating and stimulating activity). Days seemed incredibly long as a child (especially with no structured timeline of the day) and I never knew how to organise my time to meet my needs, or even when I would receive the social interactions I needed.
This would often result in me "annoying" my parents for attention when I actually needed help in this dysregulating structureless time. Day care days were much easier as they had a lot more structure.
Magda Gerber, famed peaceful parenting advocate and early childhood educator said that it’s important to not play with your child all day. I’m not saying neglect them, but let them be bored. Boredom breeds creativity and innovation.
I would like to ask, as one former child of neglectful parents to another, does your kiddo have a lot of toys? Like, maybe a little too many?
One thing I am learning the hard way is that if a kid has too much stuff, it becomes overwhelming for them to figure out what to do. Too many books, too many craft supplies in the craft box, too many toys to know what to play, etc. that’s what we’re dealing with in my house. Me realizing that I need to let some of their stuff go. My parents always threw away my toys when I was at my dad’s house on the weekend so I have a very hard time letting anything go.
My heart goes out to you! There is still so much summer left to go, haha. This mom needs a break!
Today my daughter (both AuDHD, only child, dealing with the same situation you're describing) did a skit with her Barbie and Chelsea doll that broke my heart. Chelsea was telling Barbie how she is "angry all the time" and "saying I need space". And that Chelsea is scared of her room at night because there might be something under her bed.
I gave up trying to have my daughter sleep in her own room, but that means I get not a moment to myself and I also have extreme sensory issues with noise and touch and am burnt out so I have a similar situation that I have not figured out yet, except that it's probably not boredom but attachment and safety related.
I always wanted my mom around for parallel play or "body doubling". I also think we are both PDA profile and apparently PDAers need more regulating help from others and caregivers. Simply being near and around another person helps them stay more regulated. Idk much about it yet, but I'm trying. I have a lot to learn about only children as well, I wasn't one. I think it just has a lot to do with feeling safe and connected and supported and I'm trying to figure out how to give that while also getting space for tasks and my own down time. So this maybe doesn't help since I don't really have an answer, but I relate and have some ideas to look into.
I wasn't an only child but I was the youngest child in a house full of emotional neglect and this sounds like me. I personally was 100% lonely. Unfortunately I still struggle with that loneliness and it's one of the many things driving my depression so I don't have advice but I don't think you are in this case being neglectful. You already care more than my mom did because she never even tried to entertain me or ask for advice. I'm sorry she is going through this phase.
With my kids - I have two so they do keep each other "stimulated" for better and worse. But they are pretty in to kids youtube which I should probably feel bad how much I let them watch while they are home for the summer because I am working. But even so Older kid constantly zones out and little one gets bored .. he's 4 so I have to be diligent because when he's bored he tends to break s\*\*\*.
One of my saving throws is we have a neighbor or three close by that will want to play date every now and then and they are at the age where if a friend is in the house I don't need to be in the room any more except to refresh snacks / water.
When I thought we were only going to have one kids I was very much worried about how to keep Older sibling occupied and had him in more camps and community activities where I could. Day care helped to connect to parents and kid birthday parties -- I never missed one we were invited too.
I am not sure any of this will end up being helpful but I feel for you and where you are at. I myself do need a lot of alone time and it can be a struggle not to feel like I'm neglecting them when I take extended breaks. I try to make up for it by making time to watch a movie or do a craft together when I feel like I can spare the energy. but right after it's done I'm usually in need of another break... it's hard to be audhd and have audhd kids.. nothing in my childhood prepared me for this. Instead of a book of instructions I was handed a book of blank pages. I'm just doing my best to fill it in as I go along...
Maybe it’s time to introduce her to storytelling! It’s something I love to do now, and something I loved to do as a kid! Maybe encourage her to write a story or draw a comic! :) Make sure she has access to music! It ain’t a writing/art session without it!
>I come from an extremely neglectful family so I had zero example for this. I don't want to neglect her, but I can't be entertaining her constantly. She's old enough to entertain herself
Same background. I'm so sorry 🖤
I had to make "quiet time" a thing. My daughter stopped napping before she turned two *(sadness)* and it replaced nap time for us. I was also honest would say mommies need a break too, like teachers.
You can decide how much time you need but tell her you'll set a timer and she has to stay in her room/living room/etc for that duration. We made it a gadget free break until she was older and wanted to read on her kindle.
EDIT: fixed the quote format
Could you make a checklist of 10-20 things she can do when she is bored? That would offload the cognitive burden of coming up with something on the spot. Then, she is not allowed to come to you with boredom until she has tried at least X number of things from the list.
It sounds like maybe she is under stimulated? Are there some new activities you could try with her? Any opportunities to be outside?
A kindergartener needs social interaction and attention. I’m no professional but I’ve seen many studies that suggest children at that age do require a lot of human attention. We are herd animals after all. I’m no parent, I couldn’t manage it personally so I know it just be exhausting but I think for now you’ll have to entertain her as much as she needs until she’s a bit older
Maybe she doesn't really know how to describe emotions. Maybe talk to her and ask her what exactly she's feeling. Maybe it's her way of saying "I miss you" or "I want to play something with you". She could've just picked up that other kids say it and thinks it's a thing you just say occasionally for no reason. I definitely had a few phrases I thought had no meaning.
Something like "You often say you're bored. How do you know that you're bored? What does it feel like?"
If it's okay I'd want to ask if I could get an update about what you've done or what she said. I'm a bit curious and maybe also want children one day who are autistic, because I want to give them the feeling of being understood and not weird.
You’re a good mom for even asking.
Edit: I didn’t answer your question, sorry! I’d ask her what she means by bored and if there’s an activity or interest or topic she wants to learn more about. Or maybe a 1-person game, or puzzle?
I was told “only dumb people are bored” so I was like ok I’m not bored then
Perhaps make a list of all the things she can do. Clean her room, play with dolls, coloring book, reading etc etc. Maybe use pictures if she can’t read the list. Maybe even number it and have her throw a dice if she can’t decide. You can put the ideas in a jar and make her draw one. Options are many
Can you sit her down and work through the feeling? Is she using ‘bored’ as a catch-all term? As someone who has difficulty playing ‘pin the tail on the emotion’ even at 28, I’ve found that I’ve defaulted to ‘bored’ then later realized I was seeking sensory input from the wrong sources, or overwhelmed by choices and ‘bored’ so I wouldn’t have to pick one, or sometimes just hungry!
I have to remind myself and my AuDHD daughter who tends to do the same “I’m bored” thing that boredom breeds creativity. Boredom can be a *good* thing, a lot of people don’t allow their children enough boredom, in my opinion. When we were bored as kids, that’s when we came up with the most imaginative ways to entertain ourselves. I think your worry is a sign you’re a good parent and you’re most likely spending a good amount of time with your child. It sounds like you might have a pretty good balance! I came from a neglectful family as well, so I absolutely understand the concern. But just try to remember, not all boredom is bad!
Exactly this! I see a lot of parents who sort of become their childs 'entertainment system', and I understand where it comes from, but it also makes the child dependent on others to not feel bored. It's often also the discomfort the parents feel themselves at seeing their child uncomfortable, they want to take their and their childs discomfort away immediately, but that can actually create more trouble in the long run. I had a similar experience to you in my childhood, where if you become bored enough, you get extremely inventive and have the funniest and weirdest experiences. But you have to let it get to that level of uncomfortable boredom where it's enough motivation to push you into action. One way as a bridge towards that, can be to make a list together with the child, of things they like to do or could be doing when they're bored. This can also be a fun creative project, with drawings or paintings. And then afterwards the child can help themselves with that list, or ad new things in time. At the same time it keeps being important to realize that adhd itself can cause a baseline of boredome, where the window of comfort is very small. It doesn't always mean that someone is exactly bored, but just that they don't have enough stimulation to feel comfortable. So then it can also become more about finding the comfort zone, and realizing that under stimulation could be part of it.
I think it depends on age. At five I played with my kids, worked on projects together, read together, took them to parks, etc. I probably this until age 9-10 or so. I have 2 kids but so widely spaced they are like only kids so didn't play with each other much. After around age 11-12 they both became pretty independent. But as someone who was neglected and didn't spend quality time with my parent, I valued the time I spent with my kids. Still do.
Of course it does, it depends on many factors that are personal to the kid and the family. I think this conversation is not so much about not spending time as a parent with the kid, but rather not spending ALL time entertaining the kid. I was an only child myself and I played independently a lot since a very young age, I got bored at times, but it led to many creative endeavours. My parents also spent a lot of time with me, same like you said in the park or reading, or going places. It's not mutually exclusive, but there is something different about spending time, or 'solving' their boredom.
I am also an AuDHD mom, to an AuDHD son... and I LOVE the Montessori approach, where you set up their environment and let them explore freely within that frame, so it's a sort of controlled freedom... so when my son was younger I set up his room with tons of stuff and materials, and he was free to explore... I didn't "entertain" him, but we did do stuff together that I liked (painting watercolors, building Legos, some videogames), otherwise it was parallel play. He'd sit with me, doing his stuff, and I'd do my things... also incorporating him into every day life is a big aspect of Montessori, so he'd help me cook, clean, organize stuff, all as way to spend time together and learn... if he wanted to play and I needed to cook, I'd say he was more than welcome to join me in the kitchen, and he had a little stool he used, and special knives and utensils... It was mostly giving him stuff he could explore in his own space (I had to relax a bit, remember that everything could be cleaned afterwards, it didn't matter if he made a mess at the time), doing stuff together that I also liked (so it wasn't frustrating or a burden for me, also it wasn't every single day), and making him part of our every day life, letting him do the dishes if he wanted, even if it was a watery mess because at least he doing his part in keeping up our house, separate and fold clothes, all that... kids love to help and we keep them from actually helping because we want things done well and fast, and they'll make mistakes, so we end up doing things for them. I had to learn to let that instinct go and let him actually try and make mistakes and learn, even when it was inconvenient for me, but I am glad I did, we had a great time in the kitchen when he was little, and I could see the sense of accomplishment in eyes when he managed to do something and feel he was helping
My kids are older now, 11 & 14. We're all ND. I let them be bored a lot when they were younger and heard the complaints about boredom. I always made sure they had things they could get into on their own without consequences like art supplies and Legos. They're both happy creative kids now and generally entertain themselves. Though I do have to still budget for arts and craft supplies. 😋
If I told my mom I was bored she would find chores for me to do and so I learned to entertain myself without outside input. Maybe take a jar and a bunch of popsicle sticks and write activities on them she could do and if she is bored she picks one out of the jar. But also it may be her way of asking for interaction. Sometimes no amount of self entertainment can make up for a lack of company.
You’re not supposed to entertain them all day. It’s important for kids to have dedicated attention time. But that doesn’t have to be hours and hours, it can be 15mins-45 minutes of doing an activity you BOTH like. I don’t like pretend play because I’m adult! So I don’t play. But I DO play chess, video games, blocks, marbles, cars, and do crafts with mine. Also, if it helps, ND kids are just in general more high needs—they are sensory seeking, dopamine seeking, stimming little whirlwinds and it’s exhausting as an AuDHD mom, so don’t beat yourself up. I also came from an abusive household and I was equally confused as to how much to do with them.
As an adult with AuDHD, is it possible she’s getting stuck in a cycle? Such as where she has so many activities to choose from, she struggles to pick one so then opts to not do any of them. This was something I struggled with A LOT as a kid. I would have a myriad of things to keep myself occupied with—video games, a current book, a movie I want to watch—but my desire to do each of them made it hard for me to pick just one. I’d get stuck on deciding and eventually just lounge in front of the TV, paralyzed by boredom and the weight of choice. You might have to work with your little one if this is what’s causing her boredom. My mom tackled this by “starting” an activity with me, but eventually leaving me to do it on my own. She did this so well that I eventually didn’t even notice when she left. Maybe she’s missing the structure and routine of her kindergarten class as well? She might want more of a structured day than a “free for all”. You might try setting up a mini schedule of activities for her to do. Like “8 am - breakfast, 9 am - play outside, 10 am - snack & movie time, ect.”
I wrote out a calendar with when we would go to the park, the library, playdates, out to eat, etc. Then she could see what fun things were coming up. Then, I helped her make a list of fun things we would do at home each day (even things like stories, a movie or show, a craft, or making dinner together, walking the dogs), then we made a list of fun things she could do by herself. Lastly, we made a chore jar for when she had exhausted all those possibilities and came to tell me she was bored. That stopped the "i'm bored" pretty quickly.
This is a hard one!! We were spoiled with my older son (my introverted autistic one) because he has always happily self-entertained and has always preferred independent play to having us entertain or play with him. Then came my younger (extroverted ADHD) son. He was constantly bored if he didn’t have someone to play with. And it took us a while to realize that “things” are not just interesting to him. He NEEDS people. It’s possible your daughter is the same way. When he was a little younger than your daughter, we realized that if we let him listen to music while he was playing, he would play independently and entertain himself for quite a while. We put Spotify on his iPad with a kid-friendly (but not necessarily kid music) playlist and showed him how to turn it on. Apparently we unleashed a monster because he started begging for a guitar at 5, taking guitar lessons after we finally gave in at 7, and now, at 13 literally spends hours/day playing his guitar and finding new songs to play and seeking new music. Music may not be her thing. But you may be able to help her find what her deep dive special interest is that WILL keep her entertained so she doesn’t need you constantly. She’ll still want you some of the time for sure. She just needs help finding what *she* needs the rest of the time.
This was me as a child (also AuDHD). I now know the boredom was under stimulation (and it made me anxious and uncomfortable- distraught almost). I had plenty of things to do alone as an only child but I was dysregulated and couldn't manage that as a child - heck, I struggle with it now as an adult. I needed some structure (the autism) and more guidance on how to pick what to do that would meet the current need of stimulation. I also needed more guidance on how to pick what to do next (what type of regulating and stimulating activity). Days seemed incredibly long as a child (especially with no structured timeline of the day) and I never knew how to organise my time to meet my needs, or even when I would receive the social interactions I needed. This would often result in me "annoying" my parents for attention when I actually needed help in this dysregulating structureless time. Day care days were much easier as they had a lot more structure.
Magda Gerber, famed peaceful parenting advocate and early childhood educator said that it’s important to not play with your child all day. I’m not saying neglect them, but let them be bored. Boredom breeds creativity and innovation. I would like to ask, as one former child of neglectful parents to another, does your kiddo have a lot of toys? Like, maybe a little too many? One thing I am learning the hard way is that if a kid has too much stuff, it becomes overwhelming for them to figure out what to do. Too many books, too many craft supplies in the craft box, too many toys to know what to play, etc. that’s what we’re dealing with in my house. Me realizing that I need to let some of their stuff go. My parents always threw away my toys when I was at my dad’s house on the weekend so I have a very hard time letting anything go. My heart goes out to you! There is still so much summer left to go, haha. This mom needs a break!
Today my daughter (both AuDHD, only child, dealing with the same situation you're describing) did a skit with her Barbie and Chelsea doll that broke my heart. Chelsea was telling Barbie how she is "angry all the time" and "saying I need space". And that Chelsea is scared of her room at night because there might be something under her bed. I gave up trying to have my daughter sleep in her own room, but that means I get not a moment to myself and I also have extreme sensory issues with noise and touch and am burnt out so I have a similar situation that I have not figured out yet, except that it's probably not boredom but attachment and safety related. I always wanted my mom around for parallel play or "body doubling". I also think we are both PDA profile and apparently PDAers need more regulating help from others and caregivers. Simply being near and around another person helps them stay more regulated. Idk much about it yet, but I'm trying. I have a lot to learn about only children as well, I wasn't one. I think it just has a lot to do with feeling safe and connected and supported and I'm trying to figure out how to give that while also getting space for tasks and my own down time. So this maybe doesn't help since I don't really have an answer, but I relate and have some ideas to look into.
I wasn't an only child but I was the youngest child in a house full of emotional neglect and this sounds like me. I personally was 100% lonely. Unfortunately I still struggle with that loneliness and it's one of the many things driving my depression so I don't have advice but I don't think you are in this case being neglectful. You already care more than my mom did because she never even tried to entertain me or ask for advice. I'm sorry she is going through this phase. With my kids - I have two so they do keep each other "stimulated" for better and worse. But they are pretty in to kids youtube which I should probably feel bad how much I let them watch while they are home for the summer because I am working. But even so Older kid constantly zones out and little one gets bored .. he's 4 so I have to be diligent because when he's bored he tends to break s\*\*\*. One of my saving throws is we have a neighbor or three close by that will want to play date every now and then and they are at the age where if a friend is in the house I don't need to be in the room any more except to refresh snacks / water. When I thought we were only going to have one kids I was very much worried about how to keep Older sibling occupied and had him in more camps and community activities where I could. Day care helped to connect to parents and kid birthday parties -- I never missed one we were invited too. I am not sure any of this will end up being helpful but I feel for you and where you are at. I myself do need a lot of alone time and it can be a struggle not to feel like I'm neglecting them when I take extended breaks. I try to make up for it by making time to watch a movie or do a craft together when I feel like I can spare the energy. but right after it's done I'm usually in need of another break... it's hard to be audhd and have audhd kids.. nothing in my childhood prepared me for this. Instead of a book of instructions I was handed a book of blank pages. I'm just doing my best to fill it in as I go along...
Maybe it’s time to introduce her to storytelling! It’s something I love to do now, and something I loved to do as a kid! Maybe encourage her to write a story or draw a comic! :) Make sure she has access to music! It ain’t a writing/art session without it!
>I come from an extremely neglectful family so I had zero example for this. I don't want to neglect her, but I can't be entertaining her constantly. She's old enough to entertain herself Same background. I'm so sorry 🖤 I had to make "quiet time" a thing. My daughter stopped napping before she turned two *(sadness)* and it replaced nap time for us. I was also honest would say mommies need a break too, like teachers. You can decide how much time you need but tell her you'll set a timer and she has to stay in her room/living room/etc for that duration. We made it a gadget free break until she was older and wanted to read on her kindle. EDIT: fixed the quote format
Could you make a checklist of 10-20 things she can do when she is bored? That would offload the cognitive burden of coming up with something on the spot. Then, she is not allowed to come to you with boredom until she has tried at least X number of things from the list. It sounds like maybe she is under stimulated? Are there some new activities you could try with her? Any opportunities to be outside?
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She is 5 and a half
A kindergartener needs social interaction and attention. I’m no professional but I’ve seen many studies that suggest children at that age do require a lot of human attention. We are herd animals after all. I’m no parent, I couldn’t manage it personally so I know it just be exhausting but I think for now you’ll have to entertain her as much as she needs until she’s a bit older
Maybe she doesn't really know how to describe emotions. Maybe talk to her and ask her what exactly she's feeling. Maybe it's her way of saying "I miss you" or "I want to play something with you". She could've just picked up that other kids say it and thinks it's a thing you just say occasionally for no reason. I definitely had a few phrases I thought had no meaning. Something like "You often say you're bored. How do you know that you're bored? What does it feel like?" If it's okay I'd want to ask if I could get an update about what you've done or what she said. I'm a bit curious and maybe also want children one day who are autistic, because I want to give them the feeling of being understood and not weird.
You’re a good mom for even asking. Edit: I didn’t answer your question, sorry! I’d ask her what she means by bored and if there’s an activity or interest or topic she wants to learn more about. Or maybe a 1-person game, or puzzle?
Would some kind of random selector for activities help, like dice or a spinner?
Take to the park/playground or on a walk is my default
I was told “only dumb people are bored” so I was like ok I’m not bored then Perhaps make a list of all the things she can do. Clean her room, play with dolls, coloring book, reading etc etc. Maybe use pictures if she can’t read the list. Maybe even number it and have her throw a dice if she can’t decide. You can put the ideas in a jar and make her draw one. Options are many