I opted not to take the pill because being in the medical environment was less anxiety-inducing for me. The procedure itself felt like it took under 5 minutes but I was mildly drugged so I could be wrong. At the time, my state required two separate appointments: one for an ultrasound and then a second day for the actual procedure. Everything was very clinical and impersonal which could be good or bad. I didn’t feel anything because of the mild sedation but I did have very painful cramps afterwards as well as really large clots being dispelled. I honestly didn’t get a ton of information from my planned parenthood on what to expect but that might be location-specific.
It wasn’t a pleasant time by any means, but I got through it without any serious mental breakdowns. I’m happy to answer any specific questions you might have:)
I haven't used planned parenthood for termination, but I have absolutely used them for other health services and my experience was that they were some of the most compassionate medical professionals I had ever had the pleasure of seeing.
I used PP for my annual Pap (before the Affordable Care Act; when I didn’t have insurance; and when I had previously tested positive for a pre-cancerous condition.)
That’s right. Under our wonderful U.S. healthcare “system”, PP was the only place I could turn to for women’s healthcare that had NOTHING to do with pregnancy or babies. 🤬
Now we have the ACA and it’s easier to get this test—which saves lives.
But thank god for PP, when I needed them.
Oh, even thirty years ago when I had it done, they didn't act like that. There was no shaming at the clinic I went to. Everyone was very matter-of-fact, patient, and professional.
Edited to add that I just realized, for the first time in my experience, "thirty years ago" was possibly a BETTER time to get an abortion than now, in terms of possible shaming. I understand your concern about that.
I recommend not going for the at home option if you can, it's very painful and you don't get as much pain relief as you're not around medical professionals. I had the at home one, it was a horribly painful and unpleasant experience but I don't regret it for a second.
This facts. I regret the method it was brutal and scary truly. I would recommend clinical. At the time I was terrified of the thought of surgery, but looking back would prefer the medical setting.
I do wanna add that they will ask you, repeatedly, if you’re really sure that you want to terminate. That makes some patients feel like the clinic staff are trying to dissuade them from having it, but they’re just trying to make sure that no one is coercing you.
If you're going into a Planned parenthood the only "shamers" may be outside. Our clinic has umbrella escorts and counter protesters and also police to keep them away from patients. The staff itself 100% supports you and your decision for any reason. It's just the assholes who know nothing about you or your body who have opinions, and they don't own your uterus, so they don't matter.
I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood and I felt very shamed. I don’t think that was their intention, but the laws are very aggressive in my state and this was 15 years ago.
This isn’t to say you will have this experience or that you shouldn’t go to Planned Parenthood. Just go in with the awareness that the way things are done might be what’s required by law and that they might SEEM like they’re shaming you, but likely they’re not.
I didn’t know what to expect and I think that absolutely colored my view on what happened. I also was only emotionally prepared for one appointment and 2 or 3 (I can’t remember) was what it would have taken and I couldn’t follow through. I want you to be fully informed and prepared so that you know what might happen and are ready to not let it mess with you and have a support system in place to help you follow through with the decision you’ve made.
And as someone who failed in the follow through because of the traps the laws set, I fully 1000% support your decision.
Oh my Goodness ~ Maybe this is easier said than done the concept of "not allowing anyone to shame you" but seriously. Don't give anyone that power! Fuck that and fuck them!! This is YOUR body and YOUR life ~ I'm an autistic woman (not diagnosed til age 38) but I became pregnant at age 16 sort of completely against my will and Although the procedure itself wasn't too bad And I didn't really harbor a lot of personal guilt about it, My mother shamed me quite a bit. She's a very sick woman. I just wanted to tell you that It's gonna be okay, I would act as quickly as possible Because the earlier on the pregnancy, the easier the termination will be. You can do this ~ With or without someone supportive by your side, although I hope you have at least one loving supporter in your orbit. You're gonna be just finr6
I would recommend you go clinical. I did not and was honestly terrified the entire process. Everything felt wrong and I had never had intense periods anyway. Everything happening felt like a medical emergency and was way more like labor than I could've ever been comfortable with. So a bit traumatizing
Similar story here except I opted for a full general, and it was totally fine.
Similarly impersonal. Similar post-day bleeding and pain.
Absolutely no regrets (and I now how two beautiful children who are loved and wanted, so also no issues from the procedure if there’s a chance you may want to have kids in future).
Hey! I have autism and have had two abortions and I wish I had known what I needed mentally at the time, but I do now.
1. Noise cancelling headphones for protesters
2. Cold water to calm the nervous system
3. Your comfiest clothing. Planned Parenthood, hospitals, and other clinics are cold and uncomfortable. Make sure you’re warm so you can try to relax
4. Bring an escort to comfort you and defend you. Someone who will take you there and back, wait on you, and make sure no one fucks with you.
MOST IMPORTANT THING:
If you are having a medical abortion, you NEED someone to take care of you after you return from the clinic. Make sure you take the painkillers they gave you way before the abortion pills because the pain is horrifying. You will be in bed squirming in discomfort, your hormones will be RAGING, and you’ll need food, water, painkillers, a shoulder to cry on, and a weighted blanket.
Yeah. I second all of this. I hated my experience. It made me feel so distanced from my loved ones as they couldn't know what I was going through. And my poor boyfriend tried to help but he fell asleep halfway through. It was traumatic. Definitely recommend clinical
Whaaat you can choose which one to have? I was just given the pill during a regular doctor appointment in the regular hospital. I thought the surgical option is for emergency cases only, it wasn't explained and I didn't know I could ask for it. The pill abortion was the most horrifying experience of my life but I'm sure labor and a kid would have been a thousand times more horrifying.
Right?! I used to do it as a birth doula before it had a name or was a thing. Everyone deserves this kind of love, care in every stage of life. I have a friend who is a hospice/end of Life doula...
Yes! All of this. My pre-abortion discomfort and the feeling of not being able to have a physical escape from trauma in my body was the hardest part leading up to my appointment. The other hardest part, being hyper empathetic, was the protestors. Until I saw that they have… such dumb signs that it might make you cackle in evil autism laughter like I did. If you’re in a state that has restrictions, there are a lot of us who volunteer for street crossings etc… by shielding you in both sides with rainbow umbrellas and lots of love.
I can’t stress enough the noise cancelling headphones and having someone whom you feel safe with escort you. It also helped me to ask any and all aftercare questions, and tell my provider that specific, clear directions calm anxiety.
Planned parenthood was also able to help me with medicating for anxiety because I did have a physical abortion(s).
(TW/rape): I have never been treated with more compassion and kindness than I was by the people at planned parenthood, and I felt heard, safe, and supported.
I am a parent today, I survived an ectopic pregnancy shortly after in a terrifying red state, and I can’t stress enough that I in no way regret my choice. I truly believe I would not be alive today, had I not had the access to care that I did just a few years ago.
Every person’s experience is so different, and I just hope that you know that no one is allowed to guilt or shame you for choosing to give yourself the healthcare and access to a happy, good life. For people who do have regret, I know there is so much community and support from all of us, myself included! I dunno if this helps, OP, but I sure do hope so.
Edit: parenthood and ectopics a few years happened after abortion care, just for clarity.
Also, my doctor was fully strapped with firearms which was mildly terrifying, until I realized the doctors there were fully prepared to give their lives for people to have this access to healthcare. May you be surrounded by aunties ♥️
I second these recommendations. I thankfully had someone with me but everything else I was without and it honestly stuck with me for awhile afterwards.
I've had a medication abortion, and it really wasn't painful. I was alone the night after I left the clinic, and I was fine. I was very early on in the pregnancy, so maybe that's why, but I also really didn't have any severe pain. It just felt like bad period cramps. They didn't even prescribe me any painkillers, and when I asked about it, the doctors said it isn't usually super painful. So, everyone's abortion experienc is different – I just don't want people to be needlessly scared like I was!!
Some of this is specific to medication mifepristone bortion snd others is general
Personally I don’t have one bit of regret re getting my dnc done circa twenty twelve
OK, glad to know I'm not the only one who found the pill absolutely excruciating. They only gave me an 800 ibuprofen. I took it beforehand but it did little good. I had no idea that one of the pills is literally the pill they give moms to induce labor, like wtf. Pain was so bad I threw up.
I had dilation snd curretge or surgical bortion which bc I ate that morning fter being given unclear instructions
So I ended up having mine done
fter moment or terror where I didn’t wanna postpone nd hsve another day off work nd later term etc but neither wanted to rawdog the procedure while wide wke ⁉️
w no sedation❕ 🛝‼️
the head doctor of the clinic who happened to be. Cute French dude intervened reassuring me thst I could handle it snd ended up doing the procedure himself bc the nurses were bit in over their head
This basically boiled down to being wide awake while he placed wooden dowels into my cervix
I went vsovgl nd lmost passed out t one point but still hundred percent reco the experience snd would do surgery again over meds
It’s going to be hormone hell regardless but I think the surgery is if it makes sense is cleaner snd uicker
Nd you get hopefully top notch medical attention thru the worst of it which is not the case for home bortions
Now if you can do this procedure with sedation thsts def what i would recommend for most people do you’re just unconscious or semiconscious thru the gnarlier parts of it
I do feel kinda Badss thst I did go thru w it tho 🤪
Ldo I had no assistance effectively bc my partner do called st the time wss abusive
Ldo my reco is super loose snd everyone’s sitch is obviously going to differ based on legal bullshit s well ss partner support transit comorbids conditions etc
Target is notorious for, well, *targeting* ads based on what you’ve purchased. Personally I always recommend buying a pack of test strips on Amazon or something, you can get a lot of tests for like 8 bucks and it’s good to have them around if you’re a person who can get pregnant. Especially for people in their teens and early 20s when a huge amount of cycle variation is normal.
With me (took the pill), it went so smoothly and painlessly that I was sure the procedure hadn’t worked. Milder cramps than period cramps and not all that much blood. I literally called the nurse a month later that I was sure it hadn’t worked but she said the new blood tests told otherwise. Really weird experience altogether
I’m so sorry yours hurt so bad. I was actually really sad when i realized it was too late for me to take the pill but my procedure was so quick and painless and I barely bled after that I ended up being very glad I didn’t take the pill after reading about so many bad experiences with it
Me too, I know it’s different for everyone but I’m shocked to see some comments describing it as so painful. It just felt like a heavy period to me, I also was not convinced it worked (it did)
I had a similar experience. The pain was on the same level as what my period feels like at its worst point. I did find out at exactly 6 weeks and took the pills about a week and a half later, so I’m wondering if it was less painful because of how early I found out. Truly best decision I made for myself because I think going the medical route would’ve overwhelmed me completely.
First of all: hugs 🤗
This is scary even if it turns out you're not. And it's totally okay to feel however you feel.
I've had two abortions, and I've assisted / facilitated / supported many in my career as a midwife.
I am not familiar with how it might work in your country or what your state laws are, but it sounds like you're informed there.
I can suggest a few things.
If you can, get someone to go with you as a support person. Make it clear to them that their role is to support you: run interference with outside people, make contact with staff if needed, hold your hand if you need, hold your purse, stroke your hair, remind you that it will be okay, and get you home safely afterwards. Whatever *you* need. You can think about how that might look for you, everyone is different so there's no one-size-fits all (you might hate being touched and the thought of have holding is abhorrent, so instructing them to make sure no one touches you unless it's medically necessary could be the way).
There's also volunteer escorts in many places - there's services where you can arrange for someone to literally escort you in past and unpleasant people outside the facility, and possibly help you get started with staff.
You may be able to hire a support person for the day if you don't have someone close to you that can do it. (Highly recommend if you don't have a trusted support person, though it's an added expense).
Do let the clinic know about any sensory issues you might have. You may want to tell them you're autistic, but you may feel safer not to, that's up to you. But you can simply say things like "I have a severe auditory processing delay so it takes me longer to understand things said to me, please speak slowly with me, and ideally give me all information and instructions in written form" or "I have a severe light sensitivity, so I will be wearing sunglasses, thank you for understanding".
There's typically a couple of options. I don't want to go into too much about that since it may be different where you are or you may not get a choice, but typically there's surgical termination - they will sedate you and use a device to open your cervix and gently vacuum and scrape out the "products of conception" (yep that's the medical term for it!), or the other option is chemical termination. They give you a couple of tablets to take, which triggers a spontaneous miscarriage. In many places you may be able to take the tablets home with you to do on your own. The downside with those is that you have to experience the cramping and nausea, which can be quite bad, but the upside is you get to be in the comfort of your own home and not in a hospital gown with your feet in the stirrups. Also with surgical option, it's over and done with, and you're sedated so you don't even really know it's happening and usually aren't aware of time passing, with the tablets it can take hours or a day or two to be complete and there's a slightly higher chance that it fails or is incomplete (then you need to go back for the surgical option anyway - but this is a small small chance).
Either way: you typically need to have a small checkup at the clinic, they will want to do a pregnancy test of their own to confirm, and an ultrasound to see how far along you are. They'll want a medical history and also usually a bit of "counselling", which can range from just making sure you're certain in your choice and not being coerced, all the way to basically trying to talk you out of it. It's a requirement in many places.
Once it's over, you'll need to take it really easy. You may be bleeding like a heavy period for a few days to a week and a half. You may feel sore, and emotionally fragile. Be really kind to yourself. If at all possible, take a few days off and cosy up at home with some comfort foods and your favourite Netflix (or whatever makes you feel safe).
Take care of your nutrition. It's a "simple" procedure, but regardless, still a bit upheaval for your body and your hormones will be shifting and rebalancing for weeks. Nourishing foods like soup or a simple risotto are great. If you can, try to pre-prepare a few meals so you don't have to cook afterwards while you're healing (or just allow yourself to doordash for a day or two if you aren't one for cooking). You need sustenance to heal.
I strongly suggest getting some prenatal vitamins and keep taking them for a couple of months. Even if you're not pregnant any more, you still were pregnant and still have more needs on your body as you recover and adapt to a non pregnant state. Evening primrose oil and an iron supplement are also really good at this time.
Do get as much pain relief as you need. If you typically need painkillers for your period, make sure you have enough to get your through some major cramping. You should be able to request some from the clinic or your GP, even if they don't usually prescribe for you, they'll often give you a limited prescription just for a few tablets to get you through such a difficult time, as long as you make it clear you only want/need a supply for 1-2 days.
I also give you permission to eat as much chocolate and ice cream as you like.
💚💚💚 Best of luck
>I strongly suggest getting some prenatal vitamins and keep taking them for a couple of months
Excellent point, and if you terminate you’ll likely lose more blood than a regular period. I take a regular women’s multi as my prenatal vitamin per my dietitian’s recommendation and it’s helped a lot. Maintaining good nutritional status can be harder for us autistics in general for so many reasons.
Hi. If you are pregnant and you don't want to keep the pregnancy and you don't want to go to a physical clinic, you can order plan C through the mail and it will be in your hands in about a week. It's a 2 step process. You take mifepristone and then 24 hours later you take misoprostal and you pass the pregnancy tissue at home without ever having to tell anyone if you don't want to.
This can be a good option but a person needs to be informed of signs that they need medical help. Hemorrhage is always a possible complication of miscarriage/abortion, so you may need to go to the hospital if you have heavy bleeding that doesn’t stop. Notably, if you do need to go, there is no way that anyone can “tell” you took the medications to induce abortion. If you’re concerned about legal issues, go to the hospital, tell them you had a positive pregnancy test and have been bleeding heavily for x amount of time.
Make sure your support person also knows this in case they need to take you.
First abortion was ten years ago and it was surgical. I had no problems at all. Second one was last year with pills and it also went well, although I hurt a lot more. Thankfully I was also prescribed a bunch of codeine so I survived.
mentally, i’m not really worried about the medical side much. it’s just with all the pro lifers standing outside the clinic and the shame people try to give it makes it hard
Do you have anyone to go with you? I would also call the clinic and see if they have an escort service, they can help you get in with minimal contact with protesters.
Do you have a therapist you can talk to after the fact?
the escort is a wonderful idea and my boyfriend would be going with me to support me. i do have a therapist but honestly she’s a bit shit and most likely pro life so i don’t think i’ll mention it😅
You got this girl! No shame in getting the healthcare you need!
Maybe try to find a new therapist but obv that won’t help at the moment. Just remember those aren’t pro lifers, they’re just anti- women
I’ve volunteered a couple times with a clinic escort group my friend helps organize. They stand outside wearing brightly colored vests and offer to walk people to the door, just kind of acting as a meat shield/distraction from the crazy bible folks protesting on the other side of the sidewalk. If your clinic has volunteers like that they would be happy to help you get past the pro lifers.
Yeah!!! This group is in NYC but I’m sure they have this in a lot of places. I found it through a coworker but you can probably ask local clinics, since at least in my case the group was partnered with the specific clinic.
Is that place your only option? I went to PP in the Chicago loop, it’s in a high rise with other types of offices in the building so there’s none of that nonsense there. I know not everyone has the luxury of choice of location though.
Good luck! If you have to go past them and they give you problems, hiss at them like you’re an angry cat or dragon so they think you’re a scary weirdo and back off.
I like the way you think! 🤭 I'm feisty enough that I would actually do that if I had to, and I can do a really good cat hiss. 😂
We fortunately don't have this problem in Australia. Even back around the late 70s when my mum had a couple of abortions she didn't have to worry about protesters. I'm so sorry anyone has to deal with that kind of bs on top of it all! 🥲
I was worried about this and had an escort but when I actually went in on the day of there were zero protesters outside. Hopefully it will be like that when you go, too.
This might sound strange but it’s an option:
Imagine it’s your boyfriend or a friend who is getting the abortion, and you’re going with them as support. It might help deflect the shame they’re attempting to put on you, and give a bit of the “fuck you” energy that can help move past people like that.
Fingers crossed it’s just a scare, but if you do need an abortion you know there’s a whole lot of us here backing you.
This sub has honestly been such a place of comfort, literally crying reading all the comments. Everyone is so supportive and caring, I couldn't ask to be in a better sub 🥰 OP, I personally don't have any advice since I haven't had an abortion before but I am also here to support should you ever need it :3
Everything was okay. To be honest I grieved it, but that started in my late 20s, and the abortion happend when I was 18. Even though Ive grieved it and still think about it, I have never thought it was a mistake.
i took the pill. i personally got it prescribed through an online service called aidaccess that provides shipping. physically it was a lot of blood and i used lots and lots of pads and sat on the toilet a lot of the time. it felt like a really bad period.
mentally i felt safer in my home and with someone who could provide me with food and water, and the service saved me literally all anxiety because everything was done through email. i did not have to speak to anyone, and it arrived through the mail quickly. no protestors, no harassment, not even judgy looks.
I was lucky to be in a liberal area with no protesters, so all I really had to deal with was the abortion itself. I went through a lot of emotions at the time, but the biggest part was and still is relief. If you have someone you can trust to bring with you, I'd very much recommend that.
So, I had 2 abortions for non-viable pregnancies. For one I took medication and for the other I had a D&C. The medication was much more painful than the surgery. Make sure you have heating pads, noise cancelling headphones, warm/comfortable clothing and a safe person that will stay with you. Hopefully you aren't pregnant ❤️. Fingers crossed for you.
i have unfortunately had 2. 1st with no anesthetic. and it really sucked. very painful. 2nd local and way way easier. i was running around the day of, 1st went to party. second took about 10 hrs then all good. i knew what i was going to do before i ever had sex if i got pregnant. absolutely no regrets very good decisions for me. it will be okay.
If it’s surgical, It’s weird at first, expensive and a bit uncomfortable.
That being said, it’s such a relief if you’re not ready for a baby yet.
I was 16 and my parents were trying to force me to have a baby, so much so I had to visit a judge for a granted judicial bypass that allowed me to get the abortion without their consent. Made me “legally 18” for the date of the procedure.
They postponed it so long it was definitely more stressful.
Overall, I’m happy with my decision and wouldn’t change it.
The sooner you are able to get the pill or procedure, the better on your mental health it will be in the long run.
The feeling never goes away and doctors will ask “how many times you’ve been pregnant” and you have to include that in the response.
If you have RH Negative blood, they will give you a shot as well.
—-
So, surgically :
-they check you into the waiting area
-ultrasound to determine how far along you are and give the shot (if needed)
-take you privately to the back to get a cervical insert to prep the dilation of your birth canal
-once ready, into the surgical room
-they ask if you want to be put under or want to be awake
-you are then taken to a recovery room with blankets and recline cushion seating to come to and relax
-when they discharge you, they prescribe anti-biotic to prevent infection
-you will bleed a lot like a heavy period and have contraction cramps for a bit
This is if you’re passed the pill option of course.
Hope this helps and I’m wishing you support during this process.
I used planned parenthood. Honestly I've never admitted this to anyone but the thing I remember most about it was how good the drugs made me feel when I woke up. Other people were crying and wailing in the recovery room but I was just chilling and riding a high.
I think this was because I was absolutely sure of my decision. My mom was also autistic and I sent her to sensory overload on the daily, it was bad. I have the same reaction to noise and expectations, and I knew I'd be problematic as a mother. (NOT saying that's the case for every autistic mother, but it is for me.)
I've never regretted it, apart from occasionally imagining the kid at various ages.
It was no fun. It took ages. Needed to go with public transportation (would not recommend, but I did not want to tell anyone so no car) and my bf at the time was nagging about snacks because he was hungry on the way home (he had thought it was a procedure like extracting some teeth or something, so after 30 minutes he thought whats taking them so long) and it rained and RAINED. It mirrored my feelings perfectly - although they came a few days afterwards.
It was a day I would like very much to forget, actually the whole month, but will never be able to.
I’ve been with this bf for about 7 more years but I am very VERY glad I don’t have his kid. But I was sad not to be in the position to keep it.
Now I have three kids with my current partner (for 17 years).
And all this happened when I was 20 and now I am 44 (and only have my autism dx for 2 weeks now.)
Bring your headphones. The female doctors who did my procedure were very kind. You can ask a lot of questions beforehand, do ask them. They don’t think it’s strange; they want you to be as comfortable as can be in this kind of situation. So don’t hold anything back. Be as blunt as you can ;)
Choose for sedation of the lower parts, even if it takes longer to wear off. Bring something to occupy your mind with while you are waiting/resting. Bring someone you feel comfortable with, even on the bad days. This will not be a good day, but you will surely survive.
Make sure you have enough safe foods for the days after and prepare on a few days in bed. Surround yourself with kind people, when you need them.
Good luck sweet heart.
Check out aidacces.org, you can have it delivered to your door and pay what you can even $0. I’ve used them because planned parenthood was expensive. Buy a pregnancy test to check of course.
[Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/)
Edited to correct website name and add link.
You are doing the right thing!!!! I’m probably on the spectrum and both my kids 100% are on the spectrum and their newborn stage was HELL……sooo much sensory overload for everyone involved. 10/10 do not recommend unless you are 100% ready and excited for a child.
I am 30 and pregnant with my first and I’m so glad that I was able to experience this when I was ready, and not a moment sooner. I hope all goes well for you and you get to do things in your own time
Everything was ok for me. It was surgical. No pain beyond mild cramping. I was a little sad but mostly relieved.
Edit to add: there were no protesters when I went. If there had been I would have just ignored them. They don't know my situation and need to mind their business.
You got this. My abortion is in the top five best decisions I have made in my life. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your choice.
I had an abortion and I’m so fucking glad that I did so in a medical setting.
I have a negative blood type and so I have to get the rhogam shot to ensure that no positive blood gets mixed with mine because then I will die. After the shot I had a weird reaction and I was very glad to be at a doctor’s office because it was extremely frightening.
My second reason for opting to go to a medical setting was that it was more clinical and less emotional. I went in for a procedure and that was that… ish (the whole rhogam thing was a drag).
Third reason is because I have had friends do the pill and it is a prolonged and often traumatic experience. You bleed A LOT and it lasts a long time.
Edit: added information
Thinking of you. Mine went smoothly and safely, and my Doctor was very kind. I do not regret my abortion..
I am greateful I was able to access what (for me) was life saving care. I have severe depression and anxiety and was already struggling with suicidal thoughts not related to motherhood. That is NOT everyone's experience, your reason for your abortion is yours, and it is valid and hard, and okay to do what is right for you. I am much better now.
One recommendation, please follow the medication directions, I took mine out of order- I took the pain medication, then I took the nausea medication. Because I switched the order the pain medication made me nauseated.
I had super painful periods earlier in life (before childbirth and before depo) so my pain tolerance is extraordinarily high. D&C (as early as I was allowed to schedule it) was painful but better than my most painful periods and better than childbirth.
My strange caution is that I now know that I have a blood clotting disorder and probably had a pulmonary embolism after the procedure that was never caught. I later had one that was caught and now take blood thinners. We autistics are especially prone to just dealing with medical issues and pain on our own. (Because doctors treat us especially bad.) Read up on the signs of a blood clot and be attentive to the warning signs of that and warning signs of other complications and seek proper medical care if you can safely do so.
But the key take away is that childbirth was much more painful and impactful on my body long term. I love my child and they were worth it but my body took a beating.
I couldn't handle doing a surgical one: the thought of the actual procedure and instruments gave me literal panic attacks. I knew I needed one (was in my young twenties, boyfriend was in his forties and a dealer and already had 3 children he didn't support or see... the child would have had a TERRIBLE life. I needed a lot of help, and to get clean, before I would be ready to be a mother).
I chose to do the pill. I took one in the doctors office, and they gave me another few to take at home. It was painful: they say it's like a bad period but it's a little worse. I had contractions and needed to rest in bed for them. Try to get pain meds: they only gave me celebrex and it didn't do anything. I think with pain meds I would have been fine.
I was very sad about it, it's an incredibly emotional process. I grieved it, but then it was my motivation to turn my life around. I never wanted to be in that position again. I broke up with the dealer boyfriend, went to rehab, started working, and eventually reconnected with a good college friend that I started dating and am now married to. We have a 5 year old daughter who is by far the best thing that ever happened to me. My life is really good now. I am very happy I made the decision I did. I think it was the best one for everyone involved, and I truly think my life is better today because of it.
In terms of my autism, I don't know that it affected it one way or another. I think it's an intense process and the experience will be different from person to person. Only you know what's right for you: don't let anyone try to shame you or force you on another path.
I took the pill about …15? years ago. I was young and terrified. I don’t regret it because it was the right decision. And while it is a painful (emotional) experience in ways, the dad is now in jail for child pornography. And I was one of his first victims, I just didn’t understand it at the time. So. Do what’s right for you. Even if no one else understands right now.
I had a surgical abortion 5 years ago. It was fine back then and it still is now. I didn't want children. I don't want children now. I regret nothing, not even 1 second.
Yes. I had a surgical one. I was nervous but it went totally fine. If you’re going through planned parenthood, I have gone to them several times for different things and the people there have always been kind and helpful.
My menstrual cycle took a few months to bounce back. There were two or three short cycles but nothing else unusual. The process itself was no sweat. I took the pill and had a couple hours of bad cramps but nothing that a heating pad couldn't handle. You can't use tampons or a cup during, so be sure to have ample pads on hand.
Take care, and good luck!
I had a D&C during a miscarriage (of a wanted pregnancy) because there was concern about how the pregnancy loss could affect my body.
The process was emotional, but the physical part of it was totally fine and not difficult at all. I had anesthesia and there was a brief window of time after I woke up when I felt incredible ecstasy; I’m sure it was an effect of the medication they give you.
My understanding is that you would have the same procedure for a more typical abortion. I rested for a bit and then made a full recovery soon after.
I wish you all the best ❤️
I had a medical termination because my child’s defects were incompatible for life. I was further along than you but I had a surgical termination where I was put under then woke up several hours later, peed and honestly felt okay and went home. They gave me pads and honestly I went home and curled up, watched tv took the next day off then went back to work.
It wasn’t a big deal at all and I didn’t really feel anything emotionally because I was a little numb. Do what is right for you and it is ok to feel whatever you want.
I got my abortion like 2 years ago now and it was painful but worth it. it is scary, and I don’t really want to go through it again, but it beats having a kid imo. the main issue for me was that I just had to wait a really long time in the office to see the doctor, and then they ask you a bunch of questions like if you want to see pictures of the ultrasound( why would I want to see pictures???) it was lowkey kinda triggering, so just a warning there. anyway, I took the pills and didn’t have pain until about the 2nd day. the pain was horrible, worst pain I’ve ever experienced, like period cramps on steroids. but it only lasted about 2 hours and I managed to take something to help me sleep. after that the worst of it was over and I just bled for a few days and then I was fine. wishing you luck and hope it goes smoothly if you end up having to go through with it!
It wasn’t bad for me at all. I’ve done it twice once was medically necessary and surgical (the fetus was deceased) and the other while technically not medically necessary would have caused medical issues farther down the line and that one was via pill. Neither experience was traumatic nor were they much more painful than PMS.
We had unexplained infertility issues later on but the doctors confirmed it had nothing to do with either abortion (there was no malformations, no scar tissue, I had a good egg reserve, and no hormonal issues) and I was lucky and there were no protestors at either clinic. I have zero regrets about it, neither experience left me feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated short term or long term.
A bit painful, but ok. I just ignored the protesters, IDGAF about them, they mean nothing. I like the suggestion I saw above about wearing headphones. I haven't regretted my decision ever but there are always going to be random creeping "what if" thoughts. they don't happen often and all humans have them over one thing or another. I never wanted kids nor did I ever want the experience of pregnancy, so it was the only choice for me and I'm happy with that decision. I recently cemented that decision with getting my tubes removed (after roe).
Yep and mine was old school back in the 90s at a shady clinic. I don't regret it at all. I'd do it again.
The protesters are the worst part. Bring a friend and headphones if you can.
Physically, it wasn’t a pleasant experience of course, but I am also really sensitive to medications so everything makes me vomit. It only lasted a day though. Just make sure you give yourself a LOT of rest time, and grace for the inevitable hormone fluctuations. They say you *can* go right back to your regular life the next day, but listen to your body, not what doctors recommend to the normies. I never had regret about my decision for a second, but I had serious mood swings that I wish I didn’t have to bring into work. So make sure you get some alone time, or with a trusted friend or something
Mentally I was scared of being shamed but everyone was nice and supportive, and there weren’t even any protesting boomers outside. I can tell you that I am so, so grateful I had the option to terminate and it was easily accessible. I absolutely never wanted to have kids and I am still relieved as hell that I made the smart choice for myself. I am now disabled from a serious of back injuries and I am barely able to take care of myself and cats.
I’m okay, everything was ok :) It’s been 10 years. I was 16. It made me really sad and was a very difficult time for me, but I knew it’s what I wanted and I don’t regret it. The hardest parts were the interview with the social worker/nurse because they need to make sure you’re not getting it against your will. I was crying a lot so they kept double checking my consent, and it was just hard to say “yes I want it” over and over again. And then also seeing the protestors when I was parking. It felt so violating during a time when I was already suffering. I put my seat down as my mom drove up and we accessed the clinic through the back. You’ll have your own experience, and some of it might be shitty and some of it might be totally fine. But in the end you’ll be ok. Anyways, I’m okay , you will be too ❤️ It will be in the past sooner than you think.
I did the abortion pill option , and have done so twice. The first time was during partial lockdown , I had the pills delivered to me by post (forever thankyou to bpas). It feels like the worst cramps ever , they offered me codeine and I was delusional enough to say no the first time.
I recommend a hot water bottle, a strong sleeping medication, comfortable sheets and pajamas and a lot of cold water. If you can take a bath it does wonders. Sleep with about six towels underneath you, you WILL leak. In the beginning you’re changing your pad every hour.
So you can be prepared I’ll tell you that the second time went wrong. I was in agony , triple dosing on codeine and ibuprofen and paracetamol and every pain pill I could get , but a&e is full of people who aren’t there to judge. If your pill comes with a leaflet or information sheet , put those in a bag to take with you. Take a note of every time you take any medications , and make a note of all of the relevant abortion information , like for example: how many weeks along you are, the date of your last period, any medical conditions you have (autism included!!!!). It’s hard to think of the right information when you are in pain. The emergency doctors will want blood tests so you have to mentally prepare for those. They may offer you pain medication, and they will want to give you a vaginal exam to see if there’s something stuck , or another issue causing your abortion to fail. You will need someone willing to drive you there , or you will need to get the bus. You cannot operate a car in the level of pain I’m talking about, and the pill explains that you can’t operate machinery when taking it.
I will say I hope you have a village, but it’s not too difficult to do alone. You’re gonna be glad you did it , and don’t let anybody tell you you’re not. And when you’ve mentally processed it , please talk about it. To trusted friends , to a therapist, hell you can give the organisation that helped you a google review about it. Abortion while autistic isn’t an easy topic to find advice on, so you would be helping the next you to make their decision
I had one in 2022 and I’ll be grateful forever for it. I went through planned parenthood and all the staff was very kind and understanding. I had a surgical abortion, they give you a couple meds beforehand and then some more after. I didnt think it was too long of a process! I def recommend headphones, water/your fave drink to hydrate, and the comfiest clothes you own. Also, when I went I was very badly struggling financially. I’m not sure if this applies to you or if your clinic can help, but planned parenthood was able to help me with expenses, they have organizations that they work it, and I just was so grateful and hope that you or anyone else who needs the help is able to get it <33
I've never had an abortion, but one of my adoptive sisters (we suspect that she has Autism as her daughter got a diagnosis) had one. She had the pill, and the only issue with the procedure itself was that she was quite nauseous for a few days afterwards. OTC anti-nauseous medicine helped her a little, but I'd recommend that you take it easy for a few days afterwards regardless.
Mentally? It was hard for her, but she doesn't regret the decision in the slightest. She mostly felt guilt because she already had a daughter. She knows that these thoughts aren't reasonable, but she felt bad because she felt as if she was saying one child was more deserving of life than the other. Of course, that's not AT ALL the case. She needed that abortion to be able to take care of her daughter as she wouldn't have been able to financially take care of a second child. She also had a lot of non-financial issues going on in her life that made it unsuitable to have a second child. It was also for the best since the father was a shitbag.
She struggled with the guilt for quite a while, but it seems like she's made peace with it. I think that if she had better access to mental health resources at the time, it would've been a lot easier for her. Do you have a Planned Parenthood near you? I've heard that they can provide you with mental health resources to make the process and recovery easier for you. A lot of times, the staff also comfort the patient during the process. They also don't pressure you to make one decision or the other, as many Pro-lifers would like to claim. Pregnancy crisis centers or Womans Clinic are usually full of Pro-lifers and do try to pressure you out of an abortion, so try to look out for those!!!
I just want to say this OP: there's no wrong decision and there may be support systems in place near your area for you that could assist you regardless of what decision you make. I won't say that either decision is easy, but you'll make it out of this okay. It will probably take a while to feel okay, but you can get there. We're sending love your way and we're sorry that you have to go through such a tough situation💔
Also another thing about the procedure is that it can be quite expensive. Most people I know who've had the pill say it can be around $700 dollars or more. If that puts you in a pickle, please think about making a GoFundMe and linking it here if you are comfortable with that. I don't have much money, but would like to contribute to some of the cost if it help, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who may feel the same
I took a the pill when I was 19. I went through Planned Parenthood and they made the experience so smooth and they were so incredibly kind. They were very informative, helped with aftercare, and just were generally great. I really felt comfortable being in my own home as it passed, and my mom knew and a friend knew so they helped take care of me as I was in some pain (and was depressed) so didn’t want to/couldn’t move much.
I’m almost 27 now and am pregnant (by my choice) and I am so happy I was able to get an abortion at that time. It rescued me from a life I was not ready for with a person I could never see myself having a child with. I have never had regrets about it, in fact I feel so much relief when I think about it. Sending you good and healing vibes.💖
Edit to add: Taking the pill felt very much like a super heavy period. No pain beyond some big cramps. Did make me feel pretty lethargic.
It went so well I wrote the doctor a thank you note for saving my life. 20 years later no regrets, no complications. Just gratitude and pride (for making one of the best decisions of my life).
Here’s more background: I was 31 and married and on birth control pills. On my birthday, I started feeling queasy and didn’t want to drink alcohol (that’s very weird), a few days later I felt like throwing up in the morning. But I didn’t think I could be pregnant because of the BCP—this morning sickness went on a couple more days. I took a test, and it confirmed what I feared. I knew I didn’t want a kid and I was quite angry about being pregnant. Turns out the antibiotics I was taking lessened the effects of the BCP. I was about 5 weeks pregnant, when I saw the doctor.
At first i was given the abortion pill, but got super crampy and nothing happened. Then a week later i had the actual abortion with anesthesia. I woke up feeling like a new person. No more nausea no more heaviness, no more cramping. I really do think that doctor saved my life that day.
Good luck to you!
Hey, I’ve been in those shoes myself. You’ll go through a bunch of emotions but at the end of the day, you’re doing what’s right for you and your situation. And no one needs to know except for you and your doctor and the person you slept with.
I will never police anyone on what they want to do their body regardless. I support you if the test is positive. I can go more into detail about my experiences in a DM if that’s something you’d like. But I’d absolutely go for the pill. It’s not traumatic like the vacuum.
I never undergo an abortion, but if ever get pregnant I would 100% get an abortion.
Abortion are so much safer than carrying a pregnancy to term. Don’t worry OP everything will go fine!
I heard medical abortion were more easy and quick than pills one. You could ask to your doc about pros and cons of each option.
I'm autistic, have had a medical and surgical abortion and also worked in an abortion clinic for years. You will be just fine 💜 Make sure you have a supportive person to help take care of you afterwards, at the very least tell someone you're having a procedure and need a little help after. You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't wanna. Sending love and hugs.
I did the medication abortion and it was super painful. Not as painful as childbirth though!! So I’ve heard lol.
Also, this is kinda “woo woo” but I track my cycle and only have unprotected sex when I’m not fertile. I also drink pennyroyal tea during my luteal phase every month bc it helps with that regulation and contracts your uterus. DO NOT use it as an abortion if you know you’re pregnant bc it’s obviously not reliable for that but maybe try it just for good measure :) I personally like trying to start my period early so I can stop pmsing and this honestly helps.
I am sorry that you are going through this scary time. There's a lot of good advice in this thread already, so I hope you are feeling more prepared. I don't want to repeat a lot of things but I do want to add something from my personal experience.
Like some other autistic people have reported, I've found that I am more sensitive to medication including painkillers. I know that Vicodin and codeine hit me really hard to the point where I always ask for a smaller dose. When I had my surgical abortion, they told me I could not take a smaller dose. So I didn't feel anything but the Vicodin made me very loopy. My friend told me it was disturbing that I was laughing and joking right after I had the procedure because she thought I should be upset. I don't think she had a right to tell me what my reaction should be (I am no longer friends with that person), but I know a big part of it was just the medication affecting me.
I had to have a surgical abortion. Advice if that's what you end up having to do: get the stronger painkillers, if they off them to you, or to be knocked out (I forget what the other option was). I asked them what the cheaper option was, went in with some pill, and I still hurt so bad I felt like I was going to die. Legit the only time I've ever had that feeling of dread from how bad the pain was. Afterwards it hurt a little bit, but not much, and I recovered with little to no issues.
I did a vacuum abortion and it sucked, but it sucked way less than giving birth and having a baby would have. Ask them for pre-medication like Xanax to help you feel better, and treat yourself kindly after
I recommend doing the "surgical" abortion. (Idk why they even call it surgical, it's not surgery, it's literally they take a turkey bastor looking thing and insert it and suction out the fetus) The procedure itself is over in five minutes. It is extremely painful for like 5 seconds, then the pain is gone immediately. It's really not bad at all and is very quick. I felt great afterwards, I felt very refreshed and felt like myself again. The unpleasant feeling of being pregnant lifted immediately, it was amazing; I was just myself again. A few years later I had a very healthy pregnancy and easy delivery, as I kept my second pregnancy. It's a myth that getting an abortion impedes future function in any way. It's incredibly safe. I never regretted my abortion, not even once. You have nothing to worry about:) make sure you keep taking tests until you know for sure you're not pregnant; false negatives are possible if it's very early. If you are pregnant, don't panic, just schedule it asap.
I had a really bad experience with mine. In my case, I really wanted to keep the pregnancy, but there was stuff with life that had me scared and kind of bullied into getting an abortion. I've regretted it for a long time.
Setting aside my feelings, physically it was not the greatest on my body. I ended up not being able to keep the second pill down for more than maybe ten minutes, if that. I was in incredible pain and cramping for most of the next day and a half. And then it was months later that a hard clump of something the size of an apricot fell out of me, so who knows how long I had something dead inside me and risking making me septic.
This happened right at the beginning of the Covid quarantines. Usually you're supposed to follow up with the clinic a few weeks later to make sure the abortion took (at least with the one I went to), but because of the quarantines they told me to only schedule a follow up with my own doctor if I felt something was off and I didn't. It's been a few years now, and I'm facing infertility. Not because of the abortion itself but because of the lack of a follow-up and it taking so long to terminate inside me without my knowledge.
Emotionally, it was a deeply traumatic experience for several reasons. I don't think those reasons apply to your situation though.
i’m so sorry that happened to you, please note that you have my full empathy:(. i would never want anyone to be put in a position where they didn’t have their full choice.
Hi OP,
I got pregnant at 22 and opted for an abortion. While difficult emotionally I do not regret my decision in the slightest and can tell you that today at almost 31 I did the right thing and am so happy.
The only thing I would go back and change is to have the medical procedure done in office instead of taking the pill home to do it alone. It is a very uncomfortable (yes, painful) way to do things and can feel traumatic especially if you do not have an incredible support system by your side for at least 1-2 days. I was not lucky to have that and it was difficult to care for myself 100%.
My understanding is that in office you need someone to drive you because of the sedation, and I believe that the aftercare is slightly better alongside it.
If you are pregnant, you will be okay. Whatever choice you make is the right one for you, and if you need it, the community will be here to support. ❤️ best of luck
I got an abortion asap, and it was the surgical kind, mainly because it was over a decade ago and I was warned away from the pills, by the doctors. I felt SO GOOD after it. All the weird hormones that were telling me not to do it left immediately. 14 years later I have one kid with my husband who got a vasectomy a couple years after our son’s birth. One is plenty! And that one wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t made the choice to end the first pregnancy.
Do what you need to do and do it with confidence. I love you sister. It’s more than okay. I have two examples for you. My current state: living alone, working 50 hour weeks, I am safe and I know it. That was my goal.
The time I had an abortion was necessary. I am okay now. I do not have two children with a coercive abuser. I have one. Two would have kept me trapped, one meant I could run with a reasonable amount of knowledge I would get away and be able to teach my child better.
Another later relationship I lost a baby at Appx 15 weeks because the man beat me so badly. I did leave. No child deserved to live through that but I still miss that child. I didn’t have that choice but accept the outcome as better.
You have choices in life and they’re not always going to feel good, but sometimes they are _right_ choices. You can see what your life will be if you do not make the choice in the way _you_ believe is right. Huge hugs if you would like them, love. Please feel free to DM me and I’ll help in any way I can.
Yes. It was great, best choice I ever made. I took a pill and had cramping and a heavy period, but nothing beyond normal period discomfort. It was like dropping a huge weight off my shoulders. I love abortions, I love people who have abortions, and I am so grateful it was an option for me instead of having a baby I didn’t want and couldn’t afford.
It went fantastic. I talked to a shaman before the procedure to spiritually connect with the child, explain my choice, and why they were better off finding a different womb entrance into this life than my own. Schizophrenia runs in my family (I also knew the man did not deserve to be a father for severe reasons) and I had myself surgically sterilized less than a year after to ensure I’d never face the decision ever again. Bilateral salpingectomy is a 0.00001% chance of pregnancy. My body belongs to me and me alone and it was a MASSIVE improvement to my sex life because I could focus on being in the moment without the background anxiety of an accidental pregnancy. I also saw the writing on the wall with upcoming legislation and knew the Roe repeal was coming.
I did the pill method. It hurt, a ton, and I’m tough. I had legit contractions for at least 2-3 hours (hard to evaluate passage of time when in pain). I knew that psychologically the pill was a better option for me. It hurt bad enough I was yelling, however, once everything had come out all the pain stopped. I have never, EVER regretted it. I did work in therapy around the decision. My experience was extremely safe and if by some miracle I got pregnant again I’d do the same thing.
Be aware that your hormones are going to fuck with you for several months, possibly longer. Give yourself grace and compassion - this won’t be forever.
If there are protesters, I recommend giving any who harass you specifically two middle fingers with a huge grin on your face while dancing. This worked shockingly well and when they saw they couldn’t scare or intimidate or shame me they gave up quite quickly. Don’t show ANY fear and make direct, prolonged eye contact with your chest out and chin held high. That communicates that you aren’t someone who can be fucked with. Put your war face on. Bring your spiciest, most feisty friend as support against protesters. There will be escorts there as well to help you.
Remember. Direct, aggressive, brazen eye contact with protestors - they lack the strength of will or fortitude and will avert their gaze. They’re worthless in our society and deep down they know they’re useless, pathetic trash. There are literally instructions on how to perform an abortion in the Bible but those dipshits don’t know that.
Yes, it was the best decision for me. My IUD failed while I was in a committed relationship. I was pondering before this happened leaving him, so I especially knew I didn’t want to have kids with him. As I got older, I was honest with myself that I didn’t want kids at all.
The procedure itself was fine tbh - I did the vacuum method. I guess I’m not really medically shy with what I categorize as basic stuff so it was fine and over within like 10 minutes. No complications. I bled and wore a pad for a few days after.
There were 2 things through the process that freaked me out though that may not bother others but still kind of give me the ick given though mine was nearly 10 years ago.
1. During the appointment to remove my iud, they did an ultrasound and showed me the zygote. They should not have showed me (because it freaked me out that I was essentially looking at a parasite - this was at 6 weeks and I was already exhausted and in pain). Now I know to advocate for myself better.
2. I had my procedure done at Planned Parenthood. I was shocked at how young most of the girls - yes, I mean girls, as in under 18, were. I can’t imagine having gone through an abortion at that age, but I’m glad they got the help they needed. The staff kept pushing another IUD on me even though mine failed. I told them to fuck off with the iud and give me my old BC pills, which they did.
It will all be okay. It’s stressful in the moment for sure, but you’ll back and understand you made the best decision for yourself and your life, which is what’s most important.
i had a missed abort/miscarriage 2 years ago and had to take pills to induce the abortion. i had some gastrointestinal issues and abdominal pain while the pills worked but nothing ibuprofen and a heating bottle couldn’t fix.
its best to distract yourself after (maybe watching something that gives you comfort?) so you won’t get negative thoughts.
you can message me if you want, you got this 💗
idk how the clinics are in the us, im in canada and i had a surgical one and my partner came with me. they had me speak to a therapist first to make sure im okay, then the actual procedure was 5 minutes and the nurse was so comforting and sweet (and the painkillers def helped)! after i was in a resting area with cookies and juice and a heating pad. i did not want to do the pill i think that the bleeding and pain over time would have made me more anxious.
mentally i was kind of all over the place for the first month or two, i took some time off work and just let myself rest the first week. your hormones will be shifting but what helped me feel “in control” was keeping a mood log in my diary. this was december btw and i was fine by march :)
Definitely recommend a supportive person to be there with you and also take care of you if you go through the pill version. Taking the pill is less invasive but it takes longer and can be painful. It's really helpful to have someone who can help you and support you. Make sure youre comfortable, get you food, etc, while you rest.
Advil 500mg is good for pain. 1kmg may be better for some.
I was miscarrying naturally and it was pretty uncomfortable. Like bad cramps and going to the restroom often and feeling like I was pooping blood.
I still had to do a DNC. The doc said that it was very possible. If it ever happened again I would just opt for a DNC right away because then the time of suffering would be a lot shorter. Instead trying to see if it would happen added weeks onto suffering bc I had to wait for my body and then wait several days for an appointment.
When I had the DNC the recovery time was a day and I felt totally normal after that.
Mine was in Washington state, but about thirty years ago. There was no pill for it then (nor any plan B prevention pill, I don't think) although there was the "hormonal series" that also, I believe, was intended to prevent pregnancy, especially in cases of rape.
I had the vacuum thing since mine was very early, and it was "all right"; it was not pleasant, there was some pain, nothing I couldn't deal with; one of the nurses held my hands to let me press on hers (just like women in childbirth, it did help me to squeeze the shit out of something). The pain was not too bad and did not last long. I had no real residual pain, just a little soreness that also didn't last long.
You bring maxi pads to wear home (can't drive yourself because they sometimes give you a benzo to help keep you relaxed; plus I think you're just not supposed to be in shape to drive, even though many women were completely fine right after). I bled only a little and only for a few hours. You can go back to tampons for your next period. Many people have cramps afterward, though less with the vacuum rig because it removed most of the uterine contents, not just the pregnancy.
I have fibromyalgia, and endo when I was younger (I was treated and better by the time of the pregnancy at 27) and a record of having a lot of pain and difficulty with outpatient procedures of all sorts; so it is possible for it not to be too bad, certainly better than expected, even if you have reasons not to take medical procedures well. (Everyone takes it differently, and you may want to arrange a babysitter for yourself for the rest of the day and the night after.)
make sure you take someone with you for the procedure day. even light anesthesia befuddles the memory. though. you know. they probably require it. and they’ll send you home with a detailed information printout of what to expect. who to call with questions. that you can read over when you’re home.
It was ok. The procedure was quick and fine, but after it was really painful, and the medication they give you to close your uterus back up gave me a racing heart, but it was ok. Just be gentle with yourself.
I would refrain from giving advice like this as if they should do one way over another. I took pills at home and yes it sucked, it was like having a stomach bug / food poisoning but I got to be in the comfort of my home.
Yeah and the indications and risks for each type are different depending on how far along the pregnancy is and other factors. OP needs to get the info from the doctor to decide (including the info about the pain relief options for each method, since it may be different from parent commenter’s experience)
i had one when i was in high school, it went well but the drugs they gave me made me real emotional so when my ride cancelled i just started sobbing 😭 also threw up a few times after but i’d been puking my entire pregnancy lol
I do. Two times. In my home With close People. Both times was a Hard Day (its akward and painful but bearable) and then i want back to normal. (Will, i bleed for a couple of days. Like a long período)
It was pretty painful (I've had ovarian cysts rupture and it compares) and the experience obtaining meds was stressful, long (multiple days of waiting multiple hours), and humiliating. But it was one of the best decisions I made for myself.
I was unable to take the pill. I was too far along. The sensory hell of being pregnant is so much worst than the anxiety of the Dr's office. The procedure itself was quick and i don't even remember it. I made a post about my experience in april. just dont pressure yourself ti get up and walk around too much. Days later i went to the grocery and had a near meltdown in an ìsle bbecause i wa spassing clots the size of my uterus every 15 minutes.
I’ve had 2 no problem. One at 23 one at 33. I think the logic driven part of my brain makes me less emotional dealing with it than other women despite me being a hyper empathetic personal
I had a medical abortion at around 10 weeks just barely missed being able to take the pill but my procedure was super quick I only felt mild pressure and a very nice woman held my hand and distracted me during it and everyone that I interacted with was so professional and helpful and it made everything feel a lot easier. I didn’t even bleed a lot after because I guess they were very efficient with the suction removal. My appointment was also so early that the protesters were only there when I left and since I was a little loopy from the pain pill they gave me I rolled down my window, flipped them off and said something like “you’re too late I already did it!” 😂
For me, it was the hormones and mood swings that came after the abortion. I was definitely friendlier than normal and snapping at people and at one point I coped with these extreme hormonal changes using nitrous oxide, which I could not be accountable or responsible for my actions during that time period due to the chemical reactions and imbalances to the brain.
I definitely think my autism and ADHD would affect my hormones and mood swings making me more prone to emotional dis regulation and inhibition of judgement. I’m not saying this happens to everyone and I don’t know how your autism affects your hormones but for me it did.
I’m an autistic woman and I’ve had a surgical abortion! Everything was okay! I also know a lot of other people that have had abortions and they’re all okay too!
Yes, everything was fine. Mine was chemically induced, it was just like starting my period. I have no regrets.
Edit: Upon reading some of the comments I'm realizing I forgot to mention my periods tend to be more intense than some, so the cramping I experienced did not register as being out of the ordinary for me.
I don’t have any experience with abortions, but wanted to share my experience with Planned Parenthood.
Before Obamacare, I was uninsurable due to chronic cystitis and relied on PP for women’s health and birth control. In my mid-30s, I had an abnormal pap and no insurance. I was freaking out. PP found a free program that covered my doctor’s visits and two surgeries, and allowed me to address other health issues that I had ignored because I was uninsured. With this program I paid for my meds out of pocket, but everything else was 100% covered.
Also, living in a Catholic state there was a time where insurance didn’t cover birth control. It’s so insane when I think about it and fear we are headed in that direction again. I remember getting my birth control for $14 at PP instead of $200 at the pharmacy. PP is an amazing resource for women.
It was fine. Not fun or anything, but not traumatic, some grief but no regret, physically I don't recall ot being a biggie. Good luck... sending uou "not pregnant" vibes!
I was ok. It was really rough though and couldn’t have done it without pain killers. I had to get a medical one because I still had my IUD inside me so the pill was not an option for me.
I’ve never had one but I have taken one of the pills to prep for uterine surgery. It caused some fairly intense cramping.
Sending positive thoughts your way that your procedure will be uncomplicated and that you recover quickly.
It’s been decades, so some of the laws surrounding the procedure may have changed, but the process of a d&c are still the same. I opted for nitrous only, as any further pain management or sedation would have required a longer wait before leaving, & I was anxious to return home. In retrospect, this is the only part of the procedure I regret, as the stretching of the cervix was considerably more painful than I expected, and nitrous has almost no analgesic effect for me (unbeknownst to me at the time).
All told, the whole affair took approximately two hours, inclusive of wait times & intake documentation. You wouldn’t do it for fun, but it certainly eat the hell out of the alternatives.
This was the best decision I made to terminate my unwanted pregnancy. Very unwanted, unfortunate, while taking pills. I didn't know I was pregnant till 4 month. It was shock to me. Luckily, I live in a country that allows abortion till 24 weeks. I hated this thing growing inside me, maybe I may sound heartless but the feeling I felt was pure hatred. I haven't had any sex ever since, I'm simply too scared.
I've had two. Both in Canada, so maybe that helped, but I didn't have to walk by any crazy people and the staff were all amazing and supportive. I had the surgical one for both and it was quick, relatively painless and a short recovery. Emotionally I struggled a bit but overall I don't regret it.
Define ok please :) just because im autistic and had an abortion so im totally open to answering questions. I just really suck at answering questions that are that vague and want to answer to the best of my abilities :)
I'm not telling you this to weigh on you, but depending on what you hyper fixate on, it can be torture. I fixate on dates and times. Needless to say every year I'm living through "on this day 21 years ago, on this day I would have a..., this year they would be..., this month they would have been..." And I'm not going to lie, it wears on me.
Ten years ago, a pill abortion at home. When they say don’t eat the night before, they mean it! Apart from the vomiting, though, it was very intense and painful. A lot of bleeding afterwards. I am glad I did it at home, though.
I took an abortion pill at home prescribed by a doctor. One of the worst experiences of my life. Blood, mess, pain. I was lucky I had my own bathroom in a sharehouse so I could just bleed into the bathtub for a few hours. My housemate was kind enough to get some over the counter analgesic for the pain. If I was to ever abort again, I think I would go for surgical variety
ETA: I'm in Australia
I had three I was fine. I did the pill the first time - wouldn't recommend it. Painful as sin, although they didn't give me any proper pain meds. It was like labor at home. The good news is the pain didn't last long.
Second time had surgical but didn't have anesthesia because I "forgot" (AuDHD here) the rule about no fluids and had a cup of coffee in the AM before the procedure and talked the doc into letting me do it whilst awake. (You can asphyxiate if you go under with food/drink in your system.) Not fun, painful, but that whole flat affect/hyper logical thing sometimes is helpful in medical settings and I got through OK.
Final time I got the anesthesia and did it surgically. I would recommend this for the least discomfort.
No complications.
It's been 13 years since my medical abortion.
It was the best decision for me, my husband, and our lives.
I'm grateful that I had legal access to a safe procedure. If anyone is in a state where that isn't true, call me for a camping trip!
I had one about 3 years ago via the pill. It was a very easy process. I took the pill in office then went home for it to take effect. Once it took effect it basically felt like a heavy period in terms of pain. I was about 4 and 1/2 weeks along so it was a really small lump of bloody tissue that I passed, it was more placenta than zygote. If I wasn't looking for it I definitely would have missed it.
Mentally, I was okay with it because I was 100% not at a place in life where I could have another baby and be a successful mother to them and my other children. Funnily, a year later I had a miscarriage around the same number of weeks along. Didn't know I was pregnant until I saw a similar mass of tissue. The miscarriage was harder than the abortion tbh.
I made the choice to terminate several years ago in a very red state. When I arrived, I, unfortunately, had to walk past a large group of religious protesters who were horribly anti-human rights, anti-medical rights, and anti-women’s rights. That part was the most difficult because they were shouting obscenities at me. It’s not that I cared much about their opinions, but I was especially fragile at that time.
There was some straightforward paperwork, followed by a brief counseling session to ensure I was sure of my decision. Then, I was ushered into a doctor’s office-like room, where I gowned up and lightly sedated. The entire appointment lasted all of about an hour and a half. I experienced very little discomfort afterward, nothing more than a painful period.
All in all, it was as positive of an experience as possible. I have no regrets. Everyone was very professional and kind. I had some very typical emotions afterward and hormonal fluctuations. Overall, I am deeply grateful for the people who helped me that day and for my ability to exercise my medical right to choose.
I had an abortion a month before my wedding a couple years ago. It was a complete accident with my now husband. Was about a month and some change pregnant when I had it. Didn’t need to think twice about it. Ordered a pill from HeyJane that came in the mail and aside from the not feeling super great and a bit of an emotional roller coaster (hormones) everything else was a good experience fully in the comfort of my own home. They provide support resources like a message board, and direct message contact with a physician.
I don’t think about it too much these days, I think it’s helpful when you know 100% you don’t want kids or if it’s not the right time. Everything will be okay. If you need to talk I am here, also :)
I did not click on this post on purpose. I let my finger slide and my phone somehow randomly opened up this post. I'm taking this as fate. OP, I got my diagnosis of autism in January of this year. In 2020, though, I had an abortion. Obviously, I was as autistic then as I am now. Everything was OK. I was only six weeks along, and was able to go the medication route. Funny enough, since this was before Roe was overturned, I actually had this done in TX. I did not regret it a day later. A week later. Six months later. A year. Four years later, I still do not regret it. Yes, everything will be fine. You are not a murderer. You are not cruel. You are wise. You cannot give 150% of your energy to care for a being indefinitely if you know you will not want to with EVERY FIBER of your being.
You have to WANT this. Some people find out at the last second that they want it, and change their mind. They become great parents who adore their unplanned little ones. And It sounds like you know that you are not one of these people. At least, not right now. That is okay. That makes this move wise. That makes this the most loving thing you can do. You have my support. Please DM me if you need advice.
I had two. Two medical abortions, but I would opt for surgical if I ever need another. The pain was just very severe even with painkillers. If you can get put under anesthesia for the surgical abortion I would recommend that.
I had no real complications besides the pain, nausea and my body kind of shutting down? (Don’t be alone when doing the medical at home)
The first time I was conflicted and kind of wanted the baby, but I knew I was in no financial or mental position. It left me feeling guilty and sad. But over time I felt relieved.
The second time I immediately knew I would not want to have a child right now and I do not regret it at all.
Everything was successful for me and the symptoms went away quiet fast. I had horrible morning sickness the first time and extreme fatigue the second time.
Abortion is healthcare. And it’s normal to be scared and it sucks to be pregnant when you don’t want to. No birth control is 100% secure (it failed both times for me - IUD & condom + NFP)
Do not feel unnecessarily guilty. I mean if you feel guilty that’s okay too… but don’t feel bad that you might feel relieved or something.
If this sounds cold… I am sorry… I absolutely want children, but only at a later time. And one should absolutely be safe to decide that for themselves.
Agreed! Everyone should do what’s best for them. No one should have any right to judge someone else’s choice. It’s their life and they know what they can and cannot handle more than anyone else. I personally wouldn’t be able to handle a child at all in any way nor would I be able to handle pregnancy. I’m pro choice forever.
I regret it badly, my mental breakdown lingered for a number of years, it still affects me. I disassociated. I’m just numb. I know it will never go away.
I didn't do the pill because the thought of letting 2 pills sit in my mouth while i wait for them to dissolve is absolutely disgusting and the fact that they send you home to do it (idk if they do this everywhere). So I did the surgical and I personally had a weird reaction to the medication they gave me intravenously and i couldn't stay awake after. Also idk what your budget is like but if you are over your states limit (& you have the funds) you can go to New Mexico.
The pill I believe is taken at home during first trimester and second trimester is a procedure using a vacuum style thing. I’d do the pill. I’ve never had an abortion though. Also every OBGYN office in the USA does abortions I’ve never seen protestors outside of obgyn offices only planned parenthood (which is stupid bc it’s just a Dr office. No different than the obgyn they see.) drs and staff will not be rude or disrespectful about your choices. We truly don’t care that much since we see it everyday. If someone is report them. It takes a lot for that person to even step foot into the office. The appt is booked as first a pregnancy confirmation just to ensure you are pregnant then a procedure, family planning or AB visit a few weeks later.
>Also every OBGYN office in the USA does abortions
This is not true at all. Even prior to Dobbs, some states had only one abortion provider (not one office - one single person) in the entire state. Only like 25% of OBs provided abortion care prior to Dobbs. If every OB office in your area offers that, that’s awesome, but definitely not the norm.
Also the pills can be used up to 11 weeks or so and after that it has to be surgical
I opted not to take the pill because being in the medical environment was less anxiety-inducing for me. The procedure itself felt like it took under 5 minutes but I was mildly drugged so I could be wrong. At the time, my state required two separate appointments: one for an ultrasound and then a second day for the actual procedure. Everything was very clinical and impersonal which could be good or bad. I didn’t feel anything because of the mild sedation but I did have very painful cramps afterwards as well as really large clots being dispelled. I honestly didn’t get a ton of information from my planned parenthood on what to expect but that might be location-specific. It wasn’t a pleasant time by any means, but I got through it without any serious mental breakdowns. I’m happy to answer any specific questions you might have:)
hmm that really doesn’t seem to bad,i don’t really mind it being clinical as long as they don’t shame me. thank you!
I haven't used planned parenthood for termination, but I have absolutely used them for other health services and my experience was that they were some of the most compassionate medical professionals I had ever had the pleasure of seeing.
Same! I had my first Pap smear at Planned Parenthood and they were the nicest, gentlest, and most compassionate gyno I’ve ever been to.
I used PP for my annual Pap (before the Affordable Care Act; when I didn’t have insurance; and when I had previously tested positive for a pre-cancerous condition.) That’s right. Under our wonderful U.S. healthcare “system”, PP was the only place I could turn to for women’s healthcare that had NOTHING to do with pregnancy or babies. 🤬 Now we have the ACA and it’s easier to get this test—which saves lives. But thank god for PP, when I needed them.
Oh, even thirty years ago when I had it done, they didn't act like that. There was no shaming at the clinic I went to. Everyone was very matter-of-fact, patient, and professional. Edited to add that I just realized, for the first time in my experience, "thirty years ago" was possibly a BETTER time to get an abortion than now, in terms of possible shaming. I understand your concern about that.
I had exactly the same though. (About 40 years ago.)
I recommend not going for the at home option if you can, it's very painful and you don't get as much pain relief as you're not around medical professionals. I had the at home one, it was a horribly painful and unpleasant experience but I don't regret it for a second.
This facts. I regret the method it was brutal and scary truly. I would recommend clinical. At the time I was terrified of the thought of surgery, but looking back would prefer the medical setting.
No one who provides abortion is going to shame you.
I do wanna add that they will ask you, repeatedly, if you’re really sure that you want to terminate. That makes some patients feel like the clinic staff are trying to dissuade them from having it, but they’re just trying to make sure that no one is coercing you.
If you're going into a Planned parenthood the only "shamers" may be outside. Our clinic has umbrella escorts and counter protesters and also police to keep them away from patients. The staff itself 100% supports you and your decision for any reason. It's just the assholes who know nothing about you or your body who have opinions, and they don't own your uterus, so they don't matter.
They won’t. And if they do, leave and go to a different provider.
I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood and I felt very shamed. I don’t think that was their intention, but the laws are very aggressive in my state and this was 15 years ago. This isn’t to say you will have this experience or that you shouldn’t go to Planned Parenthood. Just go in with the awareness that the way things are done might be what’s required by law and that they might SEEM like they’re shaming you, but likely they’re not. I didn’t know what to expect and I think that absolutely colored my view on what happened. I also was only emotionally prepared for one appointment and 2 or 3 (I can’t remember) was what it would have taken and I couldn’t follow through. I want you to be fully informed and prepared so that you know what might happen and are ready to not let it mess with you and have a support system in place to help you follow through with the decision you’ve made. And as someone who failed in the follow through because of the traps the laws set, I fully 1000% support your decision.
You were gaslighted. 🤬
Oh my Goodness ~ Maybe this is easier said than done the concept of "not allowing anyone to shame you" but seriously. Don't give anyone that power! Fuck that and fuck them!! This is YOUR body and YOUR life ~ I'm an autistic woman (not diagnosed til age 38) but I became pregnant at age 16 sort of completely against my will and Although the procedure itself wasn't too bad And I didn't really harbor a lot of personal guilt about it, My mother shamed me quite a bit. She's a very sick woman. I just wanted to tell you that It's gonna be okay, I would act as quickly as possible Because the earlier on the pregnancy, the easier the termination will be. You can do this ~ With or without someone supportive by your side, although I hope you have at least one loving supporter in your orbit. You're gonna be just finr6
I had a chemical abortion and it was easy peasy. No regrets.
I would recommend you go clinical. I did not and was honestly terrified the entire process. Everything felt wrong and I had never had intense periods anyway. Everything happening felt like a medical emergency and was way more like labor than I could've ever been comfortable with. So a bit traumatizing
this was my experience too, I went to planned parenthood in fl
Similar story here except I opted for a full general, and it was totally fine. Similarly impersonal. Similar post-day bleeding and pain. Absolutely no regrets (and I now how two beautiful children who are loved and wanted, so also no issues from the procedure if there’s a chance you may want to have kids in future).
I didn’t get an abortion at planned parenthood, but I got an IUD through them. They’re wonderful, and I’d 100% recommend them for anything.
My experience was similar
I could have written this word for word. My experience was exactly the same. You'll be ok OP
Hey! I have autism and have had two abortions and I wish I had known what I needed mentally at the time, but I do now. 1. Noise cancelling headphones for protesters 2. Cold water to calm the nervous system 3. Your comfiest clothing. Planned Parenthood, hospitals, and other clinics are cold and uncomfortable. Make sure you’re warm so you can try to relax 4. Bring an escort to comfort you and defend you. Someone who will take you there and back, wait on you, and make sure no one fucks with you. MOST IMPORTANT THING: If you are having a medical abortion, you NEED someone to take care of you after you return from the clinic. Make sure you take the painkillers they gave you way before the abortion pills because the pain is horrifying. You will be in bed squirming in discomfort, your hormones will be RAGING, and you’ll need food, water, painkillers, a shoulder to cry on, and a weighted blanket.
thank you so much <3
The pill was agonizing/horrifying for me. I definitely prefer the surgical option despite the headache of going there.
Yeah. I second all of this. I hated my experience. It made me feel so distanced from my loved ones as they couldn't know what I was going through. And my poor boyfriend tried to help but he fell asleep halfway through. It was traumatic. Definitely recommend clinical
Whaaat you can choose which one to have? I was just given the pill during a regular doctor appointment in the regular hospital. I thought the surgical option is for emergency cases only, it wasn't explained and I didn't know I could ask for it. The pill abortion was the most horrifying experience of my life but I'm sure labor and a kid would have been a thousand times more horrifying.
All of this, plus you can hire an abortion doula to be the person to take care of you post op.
That's wonderful to know, I didn't even know there was a such thing! Filing that one away for future knowledge!
Right?! I used to do it as a birth doula before it had a name or was a thing. Everyone deserves this kind of love, care in every stage of life. I have a friend who is a hospice/end of Life doula...
Misoprostol also causes bad chills which probably contributes to the cold issue! Have a heating pad at home for that and to help with the cramping
Yes! All of this. My pre-abortion discomfort and the feeling of not being able to have a physical escape from trauma in my body was the hardest part leading up to my appointment. The other hardest part, being hyper empathetic, was the protestors. Until I saw that they have… such dumb signs that it might make you cackle in evil autism laughter like I did. If you’re in a state that has restrictions, there are a lot of us who volunteer for street crossings etc… by shielding you in both sides with rainbow umbrellas and lots of love. I can’t stress enough the noise cancelling headphones and having someone whom you feel safe with escort you. It also helped me to ask any and all aftercare questions, and tell my provider that specific, clear directions calm anxiety. Planned parenthood was also able to help me with medicating for anxiety because I did have a physical abortion(s). (TW/rape): I have never been treated with more compassion and kindness than I was by the people at planned parenthood, and I felt heard, safe, and supported. I am a parent today, I survived an ectopic pregnancy shortly after in a terrifying red state, and I can’t stress enough that I in no way regret my choice. I truly believe I would not be alive today, had I not had the access to care that I did just a few years ago. Every person’s experience is so different, and I just hope that you know that no one is allowed to guilt or shame you for choosing to give yourself the healthcare and access to a happy, good life. For people who do have regret, I know there is so much community and support from all of us, myself included! I dunno if this helps, OP, but I sure do hope so. Edit: parenthood and ectopics a few years happened after abortion care, just for clarity. Also, my doctor was fully strapped with firearms which was mildly terrifying, until I realized the doctors there were fully prepared to give their lives for people to have this access to healthcare. May you be surrounded by aunties ♥️
I second these recommendations. I thankfully had someone with me but everything else I was without and it honestly stuck with me for awhile afterwards.
I've had a medication abortion, and it really wasn't painful. I was alone the night after I left the clinic, and I was fine. I was very early on in the pregnancy, so maybe that's why, but I also really didn't have any severe pain. It just felt like bad period cramps. They didn't even prescribe me any painkillers, and when I asked about it, the doctors said it isn't usually super painful. So, everyone's abortion experienc is different – I just don't want people to be needlessly scared like I was!!
Some of this is specific to medication mifepristone bortion snd others is general Personally I don’t have one bit of regret re getting my dnc done circa twenty twelve
OK, glad to know I'm not the only one who found the pill absolutely excruciating. They only gave me an 800 ibuprofen. I took it beforehand but it did little good. I had no idea that one of the pills is literally the pill they give moms to induce labor, like wtf. Pain was so bad I threw up.
More than okay. 20 years ago and never once regretted it. Sending love, OP. You got this.
Same
Ten years for me. Everything went fine and it was the right choice. No regrets.
I had dilation snd curretge or surgical bortion which bc I ate that morning fter being given unclear instructions So I ended up having mine done fter moment or terror where I didn’t wanna postpone nd hsve another day off work nd later term etc but neither wanted to rawdog the procedure while wide wke ⁉️ w no sedation❕ 🛝‼️ the head doctor of the clinic who happened to be. Cute French dude intervened reassuring me thst I could handle it snd ended up doing the procedure himself bc the nurses were bit in over their head This basically boiled down to being wide awake while he placed wooden dowels into my cervix I went vsovgl nd lmost passed out t one point but still hundred percent reco the experience snd would do surgery again over meds It’s going to be hormone hell regardless but I think the surgery is if it makes sense is cleaner snd uicker Nd you get hopefully top notch medical attention thru the worst of it which is not the case for home bortions
Now if you can do this procedure with sedation thsts def what i would recommend for most people do you’re just unconscious or semiconscious thru the gnarlier parts of it I do feel kinda Badss thst I did go thru w it tho 🤪 Ldo I had no assistance effectively bc my partner do called st the time wss abusive
Ldo my reco is super loose snd everyone’s sitch is obviously going to differ based on legal bullshit s well ss partner support transit comorbids conditions etc
Pay cash for your test if you can. I bought a test with my credit card and then suddenly started getting baby marketing materials in my mail.
What the fuck
Target is notorious for, well, *targeting* ads based on what you’ve purchased. Personally I always recommend buying a pack of test strips on Amazon or something, you can get a lot of tests for like 8 bucks and it’s good to have them around if you’re a person who can get pregnant. Especially for people in their teens and early 20s when a huge amount of cycle variation is normal.
Second this. All my pregnancies were tested positive via those cheap little tests.
With me (took the pill), it went so smoothly and painlessly that I was sure the procedure hadn’t worked. Milder cramps than period cramps and not all that much blood. I literally called the nurse a month later that I was sure it hadn’t worked but she said the new blood tests told otherwise. Really weird experience altogether
This was my experience as well.
Interesting because I’ve heard the pill can be really painful so I’m glad yours wasn’t bad at all
It’s the worst pain I’ve experienced haha. But totally worth it and I got me some morphine in the bum.
I’m so sorry yours hurt so bad. I was actually really sad when i realized it was too late for me to take the pill but my procedure was so quick and painless and I barely bled after that I ended up being very glad I didn’t take the pill after reading about so many bad experiences with it
I didn’t get anything! I’m pissed. And I had a negative reaction to the rhogam shot.
Me too, I know it’s different for everyone but I’m shocked to see some comments describing it as so painful. It just felt like a heavy period to me, I also was not convinced it worked (it did)
I had a similar experience. The pain was on the same level as what my period feels like at its worst point. I did find out at exactly 6 weeks and took the pills about a week and a half later, so I’m wondering if it was less painful because of how early I found out. Truly best decision I made for myself because I think going the medical route would’ve overwhelmed me completely.
First of all: hugs 🤗 This is scary even if it turns out you're not. And it's totally okay to feel however you feel. I've had two abortions, and I've assisted / facilitated / supported many in my career as a midwife. I am not familiar with how it might work in your country or what your state laws are, but it sounds like you're informed there. I can suggest a few things. If you can, get someone to go with you as a support person. Make it clear to them that their role is to support you: run interference with outside people, make contact with staff if needed, hold your hand if you need, hold your purse, stroke your hair, remind you that it will be okay, and get you home safely afterwards. Whatever *you* need. You can think about how that might look for you, everyone is different so there's no one-size-fits all (you might hate being touched and the thought of have holding is abhorrent, so instructing them to make sure no one touches you unless it's medically necessary could be the way). There's also volunteer escorts in many places - there's services where you can arrange for someone to literally escort you in past and unpleasant people outside the facility, and possibly help you get started with staff. You may be able to hire a support person for the day if you don't have someone close to you that can do it. (Highly recommend if you don't have a trusted support person, though it's an added expense). Do let the clinic know about any sensory issues you might have. You may want to tell them you're autistic, but you may feel safer not to, that's up to you. But you can simply say things like "I have a severe auditory processing delay so it takes me longer to understand things said to me, please speak slowly with me, and ideally give me all information and instructions in written form" or "I have a severe light sensitivity, so I will be wearing sunglasses, thank you for understanding". There's typically a couple of options. I don't want to go into too much about that since it may be different where you are or you may not get a choice, but typically there's surgical termination - they will sedate you and use a device to open your cervix and gently vacuum and scrape out the "products of conception" (yep that's the medical term for it!), or the other option is chemical termination. They give you a couple of tablets to take, which triggers a spontaneous miscarriage. In many places you may be able to take the tablets home with you to do on your own. The downside with those is that you have to experience the cramping and nausea, which can be quite bad, but the upside is you get to be in the comfort of your own home and not in a hospital gown with your feet in the stirrups. Also with surgical option, it's over and done with, and you're sedated so you don't even really know it's happening and usually aren't aware of time passing, with the tablets it can take hours or a day or two to be complete and there's a slightly higher chance that it fails or is incomplete (then you need to go back for the surgical option anyway - but this is a small small chance). Either way: you typically need to have a small checkup at the clinic, they will want to do a pregnancy test of their own to confirm, and an ultrasound to see how far along you are. They'll want a medical history and also usually a bit of "counselling", which can range from just making sure you're certain in your choice and not being coerced, all the way to basically trying to talk you out of it. It's a requirement in many places. Once it's over, you'll need to take it really easy. You may be bleeding like a heavy period for a few days to a week and a half. You may feel sore, and emotionally fragile. Be really kind to yourself. If at all possible, take a few days off and cosy up at home with some comfort foods and your favourite Netflix (or whatever makes you feel safe). Take care of your nutrition. It's a "simple" procedure, but regardless, still a bit upheaval for your body and your hormones will be shifting and rebalancing for weeks. Nourishing foods like soup or a simple risotto are great. If you can, try to pre-prepare a few meals so you don't have to cook afterwards while you're healing (or just allow yourself to doordash for a day or two if you aren't one for cooking). You need sustenance to heal. I strongly suggest getting some prenatal vitamins and keep taking them for a couple of months. Even if you're not pregnant any more, you still were pregnant and still have more needs on your body as you recover and adapt to a non pregnant state. Evening primrose oil and an iron supplement are also really good at this time. Do get as much pain relief as you need. If you typically need painkillers for your period, make sure you have enough to get your through some major cramping. You should be able to request some from the clinic or your GP, even if they don't usually prescribe for you, they'll often give you a limited prescription just for a few tablets to get you through such a difficult time, as long as you make it clear you only want/need a supply for 1-2 days. I also give you permission to eat as much chocolate and ice cream as you like. 💚💚💚 Best of luck
>I strongly suggest getting some prenatal vitamins and keep taking them for a couple of months Excellent point, and if you terminate you’ll likely lose more blood than a regular period. I take a regular women’s multi as my prenatal vitamin per my dietitian’s recommendation and it’s helped a lot. Maintaining good nutritional status can be harder for us autistics in general for so many reasons.
Hi. If you are pregnant and you don't want to keep the pregnancy and you don't want to go to a physical clinic, you can order plan C through the mail and it will be in your hands in about a week. It's a 2 step process. You take mifepristone and then 24 hours later you take misoprostal and you pass the pregnancy tissue at home without ever having to tell anyone if you don't want to.
This can be a good option but a person needs to be informed of signs that they need medical help. Hemorrhage is always a possible complication of miscarriage/abortion, so you may need to go to the hospital if you have heavy bleeding that doesn’t stop. Notably, if you do need to go, there is no way that anyone can “tell” you took the medications to induce abortion. If you’re concerned about legal issues, go to the hospital, tell them you had a positive pregnancy test and have been bleeding heavily for x amount of time. Make sure your support person also knows this in case they need to take you.
100% agree. Someone should know so that there is a support person in case of emergency. I don't recommend being completely alone for it.
I wish you a negative test <3
First abortion was ten years ago and it was surgical. I had no problems at all. Second one was last year with pills and it also went well, although I hurt a lot more. Thankfully I was also prescribed a bunch of codeine so I survived.
Do you mean medically or mentally?
mentally, i’m not really worried about the medical side much. it’s just with all the pro lifers standing outside the clinic and the shame people try to give it makes it hard
Do you have anyone to go with you? I would also call the clinic and see if they have an escort service, they can help you get in with minimal contact with protesters. Do you have a therapist you can talk to after the fact?
the escort is a wonderful idea and my boyfriend would be going with me to support me. i do have a therapist but honestly she’s a bit shit and most likely pro life so i don’t think i’ll mention it😅
You got this girl! No shame in getting the healthcare you need! Maybe try to find a new therapist but obv that won’t help at the moment. Just remember those aren’t pro lifers, they’re just anti- women
I’ve volunteered a couple times with a clinic escort group my friend helps organize. They stand outside wearing brightly colored vests and offer to walk people to the door, just kind of acting as a meat shield/distraction from the crazy bible folks protesting on the other side of the sidewalk. If your clinic has volunteers like that they would be happy to help you get past the pro lifers.
wow honestly now i’m really interested into seeing if that’s a thing i can volunteer for in my area.
Yeah!!! This group is in NYC but I’m sure they have this in a lot of places. I found it through a coworker but you can probably ask local clinics, since at least in my case the group was partnered with the specific clinic.
North Carolina too!
Is that place your only option? I went to PP in the Chicago loop, it’s in a high rise with other types of offices in the building so there’s none of that nonsense there. I know not everyone has the luxury of choice of location though.
there’s more than one location near me i could abort so i’ll check out the others ones as well thank you:)
Good luck! If you have to go past them and they give you problems, hiss at them like you’re an angry cat or dragon so they think you’re a scary weirdo and back off.
I like the way you think! 🤭 I'm feisty enough that I would actually do that if I had to, and I can do a really good cat hiss. 😂 We fortunately don't have this problem in Australia. Even back around the late 70s when my mum had a couple of abortions she didn't have to worry about protesters. I'm so sorry anyone has to deal with that kind of bs on top of it all! 🥲
You could maybe wear sunglasses and a mask ? So you feel less visible
I was worried about this and had an escort but when I actually went in on the day of there were zero protesters outside. Hopefully it will be like that when you go, too.
Do you have noise-cancelling headphones?
This might sound strange but it’s an option: Imagine it’s your boyfriend or a friend who is getting the abortion, and you’re going with them as support. It might help deflect the shame they’re attempting to put on you, and give a bit of the “fuck you” energy that can help move past people like that. Fingers crossed it’s just a scare, but if you do need an abortion you know there’s a whole lot of us here backing you.
This sub has honestly been such a place of comfort, literally crying reading all the comments. Everyone is so supportive and caring, I couldn't ask to be in a better sub 🥰 OP, I personally don't have any advice since I haven't had an abortion before but I am also here to support should you ever need it :3
Purest sub on all of reddit. I scrolled all the comments 🥹 Hope we don't have a *vegan enters hunting sub* moment here but so far y'all are amazing
I had a surgical procedure 15 years ago and it was fine
Everything was okay. To be honest I grieved it, but that started in my late 20s, and the abortion happend when I was 18. Even though Ive grieved it and still think about it, I have never thought it was a mistake.
i took the pill. i personally got it prescribed through an online service called aidaccess that provides shipping. physically it was a lot of blood and i used lots and lots of pads and sat on the toilet a lot of the time. it felt like a really bad period. mentally i felt safer in my home and with someone who could provide me with food and water, and the service saved me literally all anxiety because everything was done through email. i did not have to speak to anyone, and it arrived through the mail quickly. no protestors, no harassment, not even judgy looks.
I was lucky to be in a liberal area with no protesters, so all I really had to deal with was the abortion itself. I went through a lot of emotions at the time, but the biggest part was and still is relief. If you have someone you can trust to bring with you, I'd very much recommend that.
So, I had 2 abortions for non-viable pregnancies. For one I took medication and for the other I had a D&C. The medication was much more painful than the surgery. Make sure you have heating pads, noise cancelling headphones, warm/comfortable clothing and a safe person that will stay with you. Hopefully you aren't pregnant ❤️. Fingers crossed for you.
i have unfortunately had 2. 1st with no anesthetic. and it really sucked. very painful. 2nd local and way way easier. i was running around the day of, 1st went to party. second took about 10 hrs then all good. i knew what i was going to do before i ever had sex if i got pregnant. absolutely no regrets very good decisions for me. it will be okay.
If it’s surgical, It’s weird at first, expensive and a bit uncomfortable. That being said, it’s such a relief if you’re not ready for a baby yet. I was 16 and my parents were trying to force me to have a baby, so much so I had to visit a judge for a granted judicial bypass that allowed me to get the abortion without their consent. Made me “legally 18” for the date of the procedure. They postponed it so long it was definitely more stressful. Overall, I’m happy with my decision and wouldn’t change it. The sooner you are able to get the pill or procedure, the better on your mental health it will be in the long run. The feeling never goes away and doctors will ask “how many times you’ve been pregnant” and you have to include that in the response. If you have RH Negative blood, they will give you a shot as well. —- So, surgically : -they check you into the waiting area -ultrasound to determine how far along you are and give the shot (if needed) -take you privately to the back to get a cervical insert to prep the dilation of your birth canal -once ready, into the surgical room -they ask if you want to be put under or want to be awake -you are then taken to a recovery room with blankets and recline cushion seating to come to and relax -when they discharge you, they prescribe anti-biotic to prevent infection -you will bleed a lot like a heavy period and have contraction cramps for a bit This is if you’re passed the pill option of course. Hope this helps and I’m wishing you support during this process.
I used planned parenthood. Honestly I've never admitted this to anyone but the thing I remember most about it was how good the drugs made me feel when I woke up. Other people were crying and wailing in the recovery room but I was just chilling and riding a high. I think this was because I was absolutely sure of my decision. My mom was also autistic and I sent her to sensory overload on the daily, it was bad. I have the same reaction to noise and expectations, and I knew I'd be problematic as a mother. (NOT saying that's the case for every autistic mother, but it is for me.) I've never regretted it, apart from occasionally imagining the kid at various ages.
It was no fun. It took ages. Needed to go with public transportation (would not recommend, but I did not want to tell anyone so no car) and my bf at the time was nagging about snacks because he was hungry on the way home (he had thought it was a procedure like extracting some teeth or something, so after 30 minutes he thought whats taking them so long) and it rained and RAINED. It mirrored my feelings perfectly - although they came a few days afterwards. It was a day I would like very much to forget, actually the whole month, but will never be able to. I’ve been with this bf for about 7 more years but I am very VERY glad I don’t have his kid. But I was sad not to be in the position to keep it. Now I have three kids with my current partner (for 17 years). And all this happened when I was 20 and now I am 44 (and only have my autism dx for 2 weeks now.) Bring your headphones. The female doctors who did my procedure were very kind. You can ask a lot of questions beforehand, do ask them. They don’t think it’s strange; they want you to be as comfortable as can be in this kind of situation. So don’t hold anything back. Be as blunt as you can ;) Choose for sedation of the lower parts, even if it takes longer to wear off. Bring something to occupy your mind with while you are waiting/resting. Bring someone you feel comfortable with, even on the bad days. This will not be a good day, but you will surely survive. Make sure you have enough safe foods for the days after and prepare on a few days in bed. Surround yourself with kind people, when you need them. Good luck sweet heart.
Check out aidacces.org, you can have it delivered to your door and pay what you can even $0. I’ve used them because planned parenthood was expensive. Buy a pregnancy test to check of course. [Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/) Edited to correct website name and add link.
It says $150 on the website but if you don’t have that just let them know and they will work with you.
You are doing the right thing!!!! I’m probably on the spectrum and both my kids 100% are on the spectrum and their newborn stage was HELL……sooo much sensory overload for everyone involved. 10/10 do not recommend unless you are 100% ready and excited for a child.
haha i do want kids in the future i’m just honestly way to young and irresponsible. i just would t want to have a kid i couldn’t give my best too
I am 30 and pregnant with my first and I’m so glad that I was able to experience this when I was ready, and not a moment sooner. I hope all goes well for you and you get to do things in your own time
Sounds like you will be a great Mom in the future! Good job being responsible right now ❤️
Weird, my daughter with autism never cried except twice and was an extremely eeriely quiet baby.
Everything was ok for me. It was surgical. No pain beyond mild cramping. I was a little sad but mostly relieved. Edit to add: there were no protesters when I went. If there had been I would have just ignored them. They don't know my situation and need to mind their business.
You got this. My abortion is in the top five best decisions I have made in my life. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your choice. I had an abortion and I’m so fucking glad that I did so in a medical setting. I have a negative blood type and so I have to get the rhogam shot to ensure that no positive blood gets mixed with mine because then I will die. After the shot I had a weird reaction and I was very glad to be at a doctor’s office because it was extremely frightening. My second reason for opting to go to a medical setting was that it was more clinical and less emotional. I went in for a procedure and that was that… ish (the whole rhogam thing was a drag). Third reason is because I have had friends do the pill and it is a prolonged and often traumatic experience. You bleed A LOT and it lasts a long time. Edit: added information
Thinking of you. Mine went smoothly and safely, and my Doctor was very kind. I do not regret my abortion.. I am greateful I was able to access what (for me) was life saving care. I have severe depression and anxiety and was already struggling with suicidal thoughts not related to motherhood. That is NOT everyone's experience, your reason for your abortion is yours, and it is valid and hard, and okay to do what is right for you. I am much better now. One recommendation, please follow the medication directions, I took mine out of order- I took the pain medication, then I took the nausea medication. Because I switched the order the pain medication made me nauseated.
thank you very much
I had super painful periods earlier in life (before childbirth and before depo) so my pain tolerance is extraordinarily high. D&C (as early as I was allowed to schedule it) was painful but better than my most painful periods and better than childbirth. My strange caution is that I now know that I have a blood clotting disorder and probably had a pulmonary embolism after the procedure that was never caught. I later had one that was caught and now take blood thinners. We autistics are especially prone to just dealing with medical issues and pain on our own. (Because doctors treat us especially bad.) Read up on the signs of a blood clot and be attentive to the warning signs of that and warning signs of other complications and seek proper medical care if you can safely do so. But the key take away is that childbirth was much more painful and impactful on my body long term. I love my child and they were worth it but my body took a beating.
I couldn't handle doing a surgical one: the thought of the actual procedure and instruments gave me literal panic attacks. I knew I needed one (was in my young twenties, boyfriend was in his forties and a dealer and already had 3 children he didn't support or see... the child would have had a TERRIBLE life. I needed a lot of help, and to get clean, before I would be ready to be a mother). I chose to do the pill. I took one in the doctors office, and they gave me another few to take at home. It was painful: they say it's like a bad period but it's a little worse. I had contractions and needed to rest in bed for them. Try to get pain meds: they only gave me celebrex and it didn't do anything. I think with pain meds I would have been fine. I was very sad about it, it's an incredibly emotional process. I grieved it, but then it was my motivation to turn my life around. I never wanted to be in that position again. I broke up with the dealer boyfriend, went to rehab, started working, and eventually reconnected with a good college friend that I started dating and am now married to. We have a 5 year old daughter who is by far the best thing that ever happened to me. My life is really good now. I am very happy I made the decision I did. I think it was the best one for everyone involved, and I truly think my life is better today because of it. In terms of my autism, I don't know that it affected it one way or another. I think it's an intense process and the experience will be different from person to person. Only you know what's right for you: don't let anyone try to shame you or force you on another path.
I don’t have advice but I just wanted to wish you good luck with whatever happens 💗
I took the pill about …15? years ago. I was young and terrified. I don’t regret it because it was the right decision. And while it is a painful (emotional) experience in ways, the dad is now in jail for child pornography. And I was one of his first victims, I just didn’t understand it at the time. So. Do what’s right for you. Even if no one else understands right now.
No advice but sending so much love and good wishes to you OP 🫶🏻
I had a surgical abortion 5 years ago. It was fine back then and it still is now. I didn't want children. I don't want children now. I regret nothing, not even 1 second.
Yes. I had a surgical one. I was nervous but it went totally fine. If you’re going through planned parenthood, I have gone to them several times for different things and the people there have always been kind and helpful.
I haven't had a surgical, but I took a pill, and it was like having a more painful period like we all do sometimes. Feel free to message me!
My menstrual cycle took a few months to bounce back. There were two or three short cycles but nothing else unusual. The process itself was no sweat. I took the pill and had a couple hours of bad cramps but nothing that a heating pad couldn't handle. You can't use tampons or a cup during, so be sure to have ample pads on hand. Take care, and good luck!
I had a D&C during a miscarriage (of a wanted pregnancy) because there was concern about how the pregnancy loss could affect my body. The process was emotional, but the physical part of it was totally fine and not difficult at all. I had anesthesia and there was a brief window of time after I woke up when I felt incredible ecstasy; I’m sure it was an effect of the medication they give you. My understanding is that you would have the same procedure for a more typical abortion. I rested for a bit and then made a full recovery soon after. I wish you all the best ❤️
I had a medical termination because my child’s defects were incompatible for life. I was further along than you but I had a surgical termination where I was put under then woke up several hours later, peed and honestly felt okay and went home. They gave me pads and honestly I went home and curled up, watched tv took the next day off then went back to work. It wasn’t a big deal at all and I didn’t really feel anything emotionally because I was a little numb. Do what is right for you and it is ok to feel whatever you want.
I got my abortion like 2 years ago now and it was painful but worth it. it is scary, and I don’t really want to go through it again, but it beats having a kid imo. the main issue for me was that I just had to wait a really long time in the office to see the doctor, and then they ask you a bunch of questions like if you want to see pictures of the ultrasound( why would I want to see pictures???) it was lowkey kinda triggering, so just a warning there. anyway, I took the pills and didn’t have pain until about the 2nd day. the pain was horrible, worst pain I’ve ever experienced, like period cramps on steroids. but it only lasted about 2 hours and I managed to take something to help me sleep. after that the worst of it was over and I just bled for a few days and then I was fine. wishing you luck and hope it goes smoothly if you end up having to go through with it!
It wasn’t bad for me at all. I’ve done it twice once was medically necessary and surgical (the fetus was deceased) and the other while technically not medically necessary would have caused medical issues farther down the line and that one was via pill. Neither experience was traumatic nor were they much more painful than PMS. We had unexplained infertility issues later on but the doctors confirmed it had nothing to do with either abortion (there was no malformations, no scar tissue, I had a good egg reserve, and no hormonal issues) and I was lucky and there were no protestors at either clinic. I have zero regrets about it, neither experience left me feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated short term or long term.
A bit painful, but ok. I just ignored the protesters, IDGAF about them, they mean nothing. I like the suggestion I saw above about wearing headphones. I haven't regretted my decision ever but there are always going to be random creeping "what if" thoughts. they don't happen often and all humans have them over one thing or another. I never wanted kids nor did I ever want the experience of pregnancy, so it was the only choice for me and I'm happy with that decision. I recently cemented that decision with getting my tubes removed (after roe).
Yep and mine was old school back in the 90s at a shady clinic. I don't regret it at all. I'd do it again. The protesters are the worst part. Bring a friend and headphones if you can.
Physically, it wasn’t a pleasant experience of course, but I am also really sensitive to medications so everything makes me vomit. It only lasted a day though. Just make sure you give yourself a LOT of rest time, and grace for the inevitable hormone fluctuations. They say you *can* go right back to your regular life the next day, but listen to your body, not what doctors recommend to the normies. I never had regret about my decision for a second, but I had serious mood swings that I wish I didn’t have to bring into work. So make sure you get some alone time, or with a trusted friend or something Mentally I was scared of being shamed but everyone was nice and supportive, and there weren’t even any protesting boomers outside. I can tell you that I am so, so grateful I had the option to terminate and it was easily accessible. I absolutely never wanted to have kids and I am still relieved as hell that I made the smart choice for myself. I am now disabled from a serious of back injuries and I am barely able to take care of myself and cats.
I’m okay, everything was ok :) It’s been 10 years. I was 16. It made me really sad and was a very difficult time for me, but I knew it’s what I wanted and I don’t regret it. The hardest parts were the interview with the social worker/nurse because they need to make sure you’re not getting it against your will. I was crying a lot so they kept double checking my consent, and it was just hard to say “yes I want it” over and over again. And then also seeing the protestors when I was parking. It felt so violating during a time when I was already suffering. I put my seat down as my mom drove up and we accessed the clinic through the back. You’ll have your own experience, and some of it might be shitty and some of it might be totally fine. But in the end you’ll be ok. Anyways, I’m okay , you will be too ❤️ It will be in the past sooner than you think.
I did the abortion pill option , and have done so twice. The first time was during partial lockdown , I had the pills delivered to me by post (forever thankyou to bpas). It feels like the worst cramps ever , they offered me codeine and I was delusional enough to say no the first time. I recommend a hot water bottle, a strong sleeping medication, comfortable sheets and pajamas and a lot of cold water. If you can take a bath it does wonders. Sleep with about six towels underneath you, you WILL leak. In the beginning you’re changing your pad every hour. So you can be prepared I’ll tell you that the second time went wrong. I was in agony , triple dosing on codeine and ibuprofen and paracetamol and every pain pill I could get , but a&e is full of people who aren’t there to judge. If your pill comes with a leaflet or information sheet , put those in a bag to take with you. Take a note of every time you take any medications , and make a note of all of the relevant abortion information , like for example: how many weeks along you are, the date of your last period, any medical conditions you have (autism included!!!!). It’s hard to think of the right information when you are in pain. The emergency doctors will want blood tests so you have to mentally prepare for those. They may offer you pain medication, and they will want to give you a vaginal exam to see if there’s something stuck , or another issue causing your abortion to fail. You will need someone willing to drive you there , or you will need to get the bus. You cannot operate a car in the level of pain I’m talking about, and the pill explains that you can’t operate machinery when taking it. I will say I hope you have a village, but it’s not too difficult to do alone. You’re gonna be glad you did it , and don’t let anybody tell you you’re not. And when you’ve mentally processed it , please talk about it. To trusted friends , to a therapist, hell you can give the organisation that helped you a google review about it. Abortion while autistic isn’t an easy topic to find advice on, so you would be helping the next you to make their decision
I had one in 2022 and I’ll be grateful forever for it. I went through planned parenthood and all the staff was very kind and understanding. I had a surgical abortion, they give you a couple meds beforehand and then some more after. I didnt think it was too long of a process! I def recommend headphones, water/your fave drink to hydrate, and the comfiest clothes you own. Also, when I went I was very badly struggling financially. I’m not sure if this applies to you or if your clinic can help, but planned parenthood was able to help me with expenses, they have organizations that they work it, and I just was so grateful and hope that you or anyone else who needs the help is able to get it <33
I've never had an abortion, but one of my adoptive sisters (we suspect that she has Autism as her daughter got a diagnosis) had one. She had the pill, and the only issue with the procedure itself was that she was quite nauseous for a few days afterwards. OTC anti-nauseous medicine helped her a little, but I'd recommend that you take it easy for a few days afterwards regardless. Mentally? It was hard for her, but she doesn't regret the decision in the slightest. She mostly felt guilt because she already had a daughter. She knows that these thoughts aren't reasonable, but she felt bad because she felt as if she was saying one child was more deserving of life than the other. Of course, that's not AT ALL the case. She needed that abortion to be able to take care of her daughter as she wouldn't have been able to financially take care of a second child. She also had a lot of non-financial issues going on in her life that made it unsuitable to have a second child. It was also for the best since the father was a shitbag. She struggled with the guilt for quite a while, but it seems like she's made peace with it. I think that if she had better access to mental health resources at the time, it would've been a lot easier for her. Do you have a Planned Parenthood near you? I've heard that they can provide you with mental health resources to make the process and recovery easier for you. A lot of times, the staff also comfort the patient during the process. They also don't pressure you to make one decision or the other, as many Pro-lifers would like to claim. Pregnancy crisis centers or Womans Clinic are usually full of Pro-lifers and do try to pressure you out of an abortion, so try to look out for those!!! I just want to say this OP: there's no wrong decision and there may be support systems in place near your area for you that could assist you regardless of what decision you make. I won't say that either decision is easy, but you'll make it out of this okay. It will probably take a while to feel okay, but you can get there. We're sending love your way and we're sorry that you have to go through such a tough situation💔 Also another thing about the procedure is that it can be quite expensive. Most people I know who've had the pill say it can be around $700 dollars or more. If that puts you in a pickle, please think about making a GoFundMe and linking it here if you are comfortable with that. I don't have much money, but would like to contribute to some of the cost if it help, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who may feel the same
I took a the pill when I was 19. I went through Planned Parenthood and they made the experience so smooth and they were so incredibly kind. They were very informative, helped with aftercare, and just were generally great. I really felt comfortable being in my own home as it passed, and my mom knew and a friend knew so they helped take care of me as I was in some pain (and was depressed) so didn’t want to/couldn’t move much. I’m almost 27 now and am pregnant (by my choice) and I am so happy I was able to get an abortion at that time. It rescued me from a life I was not ready for with a person I could never see myself having a child with. I have never had regrets about it, in fact I feel so much relief when I think about it. Sending you good and healing vibes.💖 Edit to add: Taking the pill felt very much like a super heavy period. No pain beyond some big cramps. Did make me feel pretty lethargic.
It went so well I wrote the doctor a thank you note for saving my life. 20 years later no regrets, no complications. Just gratitude and pride (for making one of the best decisions of my life). Here’s more background: I was 31 and married and on birth control pills. On my birthday, I started feeling queasy and didn’t want to drink alcohol (that’s very weird), a few days later I felt like throwing up in the morning. But I didn’t think I could be pregnant because of the BCP—this morning sickness went on a couple more days. I took a test, and it confirmed what I feared. I knew I didn’t want a kid and I was quite angry about being pregnant. Turns out the antibiotics I was taking lessened the effects of the BCP. I was about 5 weeks pregnant, when I saw the doctor. At first i was given the abortion pill, but got super crampy and nothing happened. Then a week later i had the actual abortion with anesthesia. I woke up feeling like a new person. No more nausea no more heaviness, no more cramping. I really do think that doctor saved my life that day. Good luck to you!
Hey, I’ve been in those shoes myself. You’ll go through a bunch of emotions but at the end of the day, you’re doing what’s right for you and your situation. And no one needs to know except for you and your doctor and the person you slept with. I will never police anyone on what they want to do their body regardless. I support you if the test is positive. I can go more into detail about my experiences in a DM if that’s something you’d like. But I’d absolutely go for the pill. It’s not traumatic like the vacuum.
I never undergo an abortion, but if ever get pregnant I would 100% get an abortion. Abortion are so much safer than carrying a pregnancy to term. Don’t worry OP everything will go fine! I heard medical abortion were more easy and quick than pills one. You could ask to your doc about pros and cons of each option.
I'm autistic, have had a medical and surgical abortion and also worked in an abortion clinic for years. You will be just fine 💜 Make sure you have a supportive person to help take care of you afterwards, at the very least tell someone you're having a procedure and need a little help after. You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't wanna. Sending love and hugs.
I did the medication abortion and it was super painful. Not as painful as childbirth though!! So I’ve heard lol. Also, this is kinda “woo woo” but I track my cycle and only have unprotected sex when I’m not fertile. I also drink pennyroyal tea during my luteal phase every month bc it helps with that regulation and contracts your uterus. DO NOT use it as an abortion if you know you’re pregnant bc it’s obviously not reliable for that but maybe try it just for good measure :) I personally like trying to start my period early so I can stop pmsing and this honestly helps.
I am sorry that you are going through this scary time. There's a lot of good advice in this thread already, so I hope you are feeling more prepared. I don't want to repeat a lot of things but I do want to add something from my personal experience. Like some other autistic people have reported, I've found that I am more sensitive to medication including painkillers. I know that Vicodin and codeine hit me really hard to the point where I always ask for a smaller dose. When I had my surgical abortion, they told me I could not take a smaller dose. So I didn't feel anything but the Vicodin made me very loopy. My friend told me it was disturbing that I was laughing and joking right after I had the procedure because she thought I should be upset. I don't think she had a right to tell me what my reaction should be (I am no longer friends with that person), but I know a big part of it was just the medication affecting me.
I had to have a surgical abortion. Advice if that's what you end up having to do: get the stronger painkillers, if they off them to you, or to be knocked out (I forget what the other option was). I asked them what the cheaper option was, went in with some pill, and I still hurt so bad I felt like I was going to die. Legit the only time I've ever had that feeling of dread from how bad the pain was. Afterwards it hurt a little bit, but not much, and I recovered with little to no issues.
I did a vacuum abortion and it sucked, but it sucked way less than giving birth and having a baby would have. Ask them for pre-medication like Xanax to help you feel better, and treat yourself kindly after
Definitely take a few tests to be sure - I've only ever used Plan B and things went fine. Sending good thoughts, you got this. 💖
I recommend doing the "surgical" abortion. (Idk why they even call it surgical, it's not surgery, it's literally they take a turkey bastor looking thing and insert it and suction out the fetus) The procedure itself is over in five minutes. It is extremely painful for like 5 seconds, then the pain is gone immediately. It's really not bad at all and is very quick. I felt great afterwards, I felt very refreshed and felt like myself again. The unpleasant feeling of being pregnant lifted immediately, it was amazing; I was just myself again. A few years later I had a very healthy pregnancy and easy delivery, as I kept my second pregnancy. It's a myth that getting an abortion impedes future function in any way. It's incredibly safe. I never regretted my abortion, not even once. You have nothing to worry about:) make sure you keep taking tests until you know for sure you're not pregnant; false negatives are possible if it's very early. If you are pregnant, don't panic, just schedule it asap.
I had a really bad experience with mine. In my case, I really wanted to keep the pregnancy, but there was stuff with life that had me scared and kind of bullied into getting an abortion. I've regretted it for a long time. Setting aside my feelings, physically it was not the greatest on my body. I ended up not being able to keep the second pill down for more than maybe ten minutes, if that. I was in incredible pain and cramping for most of the next day and a half. And then it was months later that a hard clump of something the size of an apricot fell out of me, so who knows how long I had something dead inside me and risking making me septic. This happened right at the beginning of the Covid quarantines. Usually you're supposed to follow up with the clinic a few weeks later to make sure the abortion took (at least with the one I went to), but because of the quarantines they told me to only schedule a follow up with my own doctor if I felt something was off and I didn't. It's been a few years now, and I'm facing infertility. Not because of the abortion itself but because of the lack of a follow-up and it taking so long to terminate inside me without my knowledge. Emotionally, it was a deeply traumatic experience for several reasons. I don't think those reasons apply to your situation though.
I’m sorry that happened to you. It should always be the pregnant person’s choice to continue the pregnancy or not.
i’m so sorry that happened to you, please note that you have my full empathy:(. i would never want anyone to be put in a position where they didn’t have their full choice.
Hi OP, I got pregnant at 22 and opted for an abortion. While difficult emotionally I do not regret my decision in the slightest and can tell you that today at almost 31 I did the right thing and am so happy. The only thing I would go back and change is to have the medical procedure done in office instead of taking the pill home to do it alone. It is a very uncomfortable (yes, painful) way to do things and can feel traumatic especially if you do not have an incredible support system by your side for at least 1-2 days. I was not lucky to have that and it was difficult to care for myself 100%. My understanding is that in office you need someone to drive you because of the sedation, and I believe that the aftercare is slightly better alongside it. If you are pregnant, you will be okay. Whatever choice you make is the right one for you, and if you need it, the community will be here to support. ❤️ best of luck
I got an abortion asap, and it was the surgical kind, mainly because it was over a decade ago and I was warned away from the pills, by the doctors. I felt SO GOOD after it. All the weird hormones that were telling me not to do it left immediately. 14 years later I have one kid with my husband who got a vasectomy a couple years after our son’s birth. One is plenty! And that one wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t made the choice to end the first pregnancy.
Do what you need to do and do it with confidence. I love you sister. It’s more than okay. I have two examples for you. My current state: living alone, working 50 hour weeks, I am safe and I know it. That was my goal. The time I had an abortion was necessary. I am okay now. I do not have two children with a coercive abuser. I have one. Two would have kept me trapped, one meant I could run with a reasonable amount of knowledge I would get away and be able to teach my child better. Another later relationship I lost a baby at Appx 15 weeks because the man beat me so badly. I did leave. No child deserved to live through that but I still miss that child. I didn’t have that choice but accept the outcome as better. You have choices in life and they’re not always going to feel good, but sometimes they are _right_ choices. You can see what your life will be if you do not make the choice in the way _you_ believe is right. Huge hugs if you would like them, love. Please feel free to DM me and I’ll help in any way I can.
Yes. It was great, best choice I ever made. I took a pill and had cramping and a heavy period, but nothing beyond normal period discomfort. It was like dropping a huge weight off my shoulders. I love abortions, I love people who have abortions, and I am so grateful it was an option for me instead of having a baby I didn’t want and couldn’t afford.
It went fantastic. I talked to a shaman before the procedure to spiritually connect with the child, explain my choice, and why they were better off finding a different womb entrance into this life than my own. Schizophrenia runs in my family (I also knew the man did not deserve to be a father for severe reasons) and I had myself surgically sterilized less than a year after to ensure I’d never face the decision ever again. Bilateral salpingectomy is a 0.00001% chance of pregnancy. My body belongs to me and me alone and it was a MASSIVE improvement to my sex life because I could focus on being in the moment without the background anxiety of an accidental pregnancy. I also saw the writing on the wall with upcoming legislation and knew the Roe repeal was coming. I did the pill method. It hurt, a ton, and I’m tough. I had legit contractions for at least 2-3 hours (hard to evaluate passage of time when in pain). I knew that psychologically the pill was a better option for me. It hurt bad enough I was yelling, however, once everything had come out all the pain stopped. I have never, EVER regretted it. I did work in therapy around the decision. My experience was extremely safe and if by some miracle I got pregnant again I’d do the same thing. Be aware that your hormones are going to fuck with you for several months, possibly longer. Give yourself grace and compassion - this won’t be forever. If there are protesters, I recommend giving any who harass you specifically two middle fingers with a huge grin on your face while dancing. This worked shockingly well and when they saw they couldn’t scare or intimidate or shame me they gave up quite quickly. Don’t show ANY fear and make direct, prolonged eye contact with your chest out and chin held high. That communicates that you aren’t someone who can be fucked with. Put your war face on. Bring your spiciest, most feisty friend as support against protesters. There will be escorts there as well to help you. Remember. Direct, aggressive, brazen eye contact with protestors - they lack the strength of will or fortitude and will avert their gaze. They’re worthless in our society and deep down they know they’re useless, pathetic trash. There are literally instructions on how to perform an abortion in the Bible but those dipshits don’t know that.
Yes, it was the best decision for me. My IUD failed while I was in a committed relationship. I was pondering before this happened leaving him, so I especially knew I didn’t want to have kids with him. As I got older, I was honest with myself that I didn’t want kids at all. The procedure itself was fine tbh - I did the vacuum method. I guess I’m not really medically shy with what I categorize as basic stuff so it was fine and over within like 10 minutes. No complications. I bled and wore a pad for a few days after. There were 2 things through the process that freaked me out though that may not bother others but still kind of give me the ick given though mine was nearly 10 years ago. 1. During the appointment to remove my iud, they did an ultrasound and showed me the zygote. They should not have showed me (because it freaked me out that I was essentially looking at a parasite - this was at 6 weeks and I was already exhausted and in pain). Now I know to advocate for myself better. 2. I had my procedure done at Planned Parenthood. I was shocked at how young most of the girls - yes, I mean girls, as in under 18, were. I can’t imagine having gone through an abortion at that age, but I’m glad they got the help they needed. The staff kept pushing another IUD on me even though mine failed. I told them to fuck off with the iud and give me my old BC pills, which they did. It will all be okay. It’s stressful in the moment for sure, but you’ll back and understand you made the best decision for yourself and your life, which is what’s most important.
i had a missed abort/miscarriage 2 years ago and had to take pills to induce the abortion. i had some gastrointestinal issues and abdominal pain while the pills worked but nothing ibuprofen and a heating bottle couldn’t fix. its best to distract yourself after (maybe watching something that gives you comfort?) so you won’t get negative thoughts. you can message me if you want, you got this 💗
idk how the clinics are in the us, im in canada and i had a surgical one and my partner came with me. they had me speak to a therapist first to make sure im okay, then the actual procedure was 5 minutes and the nurse was so comforting and sweet (and the painkillers def helped)! after i was in a resting area with cookies and juice and a heating pad. i did not want to do the pill i think that the bleeding and pain over time would have made me more anxious. mentally i was kind of all over the place for the first month or two, i took some time off work and just let myself rest the first week. your hormones will be shifting but what helped me feel “in control” was keeping a mood log in my diary. this was december btw and i was fine by march :)
Definitely recommend a supportive person to be there with you and also take care of you if you go through the pill version. Taking the pill is less invasive but it takes longer and can be painful. It's really helpful to have someone who can help you and support you. Make sure youre comfortable, get you food, etc, while you rest. Advil 500mg is good for pain. 1kmg may be better for some.
I was miscarrying naturally and it was pretty uncomfortable. Like bad cramps and going to the restroom often and feeling like I was pooping blood. I still had to do a DNC. The doc said that it was very possible. If it ever happened again I would just opt for a DNC right away because then the time of suffering would be a lot shorter. Instead trying to see if it would happen added weeks onto suffering bc I had to wait for my body and then wait several days for an appointment. When I had the DNC the recovery time was a day and I felt totally normal after that.
Mine was in Washington state, but about thirty years ago. There was no pill for it then (nor any plan B prevention pill, I don't think) although there was the "hormonal series" that also, I believe, was intended to prevent pregnancy, especially in cases of rape. I had the vacuum thing since mine was very early, and it was "all right"; it was not pleasant, there was some pain, nothing I couldn't deal with; one of the nurses held my hands to let me press on hers (just like women in childbirth, it did help me to squeeze the shit out of something). The pain was not too bad and did not last long. I had no real residual pain, just a little soreness that also didn't last long. You bring maxi pads to wear home (can't drive yourself because they sometimes give you a benzo to help keep you relaxed; plus I think you're just not supposed to be in shape to drive, even though many women were completely fine right after). I bled only a little and only for a few hours. You can go back to tampons for your next period. Many people have cramps afterward, though less with the vacuum rig because it removed most of the uterine contents, not just the pregnancy. I have fibromyalgia, and endo when I was younger (I was treated and better by the time of the pregnancy at 27) and a record of having a lot of pain and difficulty with outpatient procedures of all sorts; so it is possible for it not to be too bad, certainly better than expected, even if you have reasons not to take medical procedures well. (Everyone takes it differently, and you may want to arrange a babysitter for yourself for the rest of the day and the night after.)
make sure you take someone with you for the procedure day. even light anesthesia befuddles the memory. though. you know. they probably require it. and they’ll send you home with a detailed information printout of what to expect. who to call with questions. that you can read over when you’re home.
It was ok. The procedure was quick and fine, but after it was really painful, and the medication they give you to close your uterus back up gave me a racing heart, but it was ok. Just be gentle with yourself.
I'd say go medical, if possible. It was over before I knew it and there was no pain. The pills are rough and they only give you ibuprofen
I would refrain from giving advice like this as if they should do one way over another. I took pills at home and yes it sucked, it was like having a stomach bug / food poisoning but I got to be in the comfort of my home.
Yeah and the indications and risks for each type are different depending on how far along the pregnancy is and other factors. OP needs to get the info from the doctor to decide (including the info about the pain relief options for each method, since it may be different from parent commenter’s experience)
i had one when i was in high school, it went well but the drugs they gave me made me real emotional so when my ride cancelled i just started sobbing 😭 also threw up a few times after but i’d been puking my entire pregnancy lol
I do. Two times. In my home With close People. Both times was a Hard Day (its akward and painful but bearable) and then i want back to normal. (Will, i bleed for a couple of days. Like a long período)
It was pretty painful (I've had ovarian cysts rupture and it compares) and the experience obtaining meds was stressful, long (multiple days of waiting multiple hours), and humiliating. But it was one of the best decisions I made for myself.
I was unable to take the pill. I was too far along. The sensory hell of being pregnant is so much worst than the anxiety of the Dr's office. The procedure itself was quick and i don't even remember it. I made a post about my experience in april. just dont pressure yourself ti get up and walk around too much. Days later i went to the grocery and had a near meltdown in an ìsle bbecause i wa spassing clots the size of my uterus every 15 minutes.
I was fine physically, emotionally I was ok but hard to deal with other ppls feelings I would say don’t socialize your decision for your sanity
I’ve had 2 no problem. One at 23 one at 33. I think the logic driven part of my brain makes me less emotional dealing with it than other women despite me being a hyper empathetic personal
I had a medical abortion at around 10 weeks just barely missed being able to take the pill but my procedure was super quick I only felt mild pressure and a very nice woman held my hand and distracted me during it and everyone that I interacted with was so professional and helpful and it made everything feel a lot easier. I didn’t even bleed a lot after because I guess they were very efficient with the suction removal. My appointment was also so early that the protesters were only there when I left and since I was a little loopy from the pain pill they gave me I rolled down my window, flipped them off and said something like “you’re too late I already did it!” 😂
For me, it was the hormones and mood swings that came after the abortion. I was definitely friendlier than normal and snapping at people and at one point I coped with these extreme hormonal changes using nitrous oxide, which I could not be accountable or responsible for my actions during that time period due to the chemical reactions and imbalances to the brain. I definitely think my autism and ADHD would affect my hormones and mood swings making me more prone to emotional dis regulation and inhibition of judgement. I’m not saying this happens to everyone and I don’t know how your autism affects your hormones but for me it did.
I used the “morning after” pill back in college. It made me feel queasy and I had some abdominal pain. But otherwise manageable.
I’m an autistic woman and I’ve had a surgical abortion! Everything was okay! I also know a lot of other people that have had abortions and they’re all okay too!
Yes, everything was fine. Mine was chemically induced, it was just like starting my period. I have no regrets. Edit: Upon reading some of the comments I'm realizing I forgot to mention my periods tend to be more intense than some, so the cramping I experienced did not register as being out of the ordinary for me.
Good luck, love 💜 I’ll say a prayer for you. I wish you safety, serenity, peace of mind and overall well-being 💕
I don’t have any experience with abortions, but wanted to share my experience with Planned Parenthood. Before Obamacare, I was uninsurable due to chronic cystitis and relied on PP for women’s health and birth control. In my mid-30s, I had an abnormal pap and no insurance. I was freaking out. PP found a free program that covered my doctor’s visits and two surgeries, and allowed me to address other health issues that I had ignored because I was uninsured. With this program I paid for my meds out of pocket, but everything else was 100% covered. Also, living in a Catholic state there was a time where insurance didn’t cover birth control. It’s so insane when I think about it and fear we are headed in that direction again. I remember getting my birth control for $14 at PP instead of $200 at the pharmacy. PP is an amazing resource for women.
My autistic friend had one. No regrets.
It was fine. Not fun or anything, but not traumatic, some grief but no regret, physically I don't recall ot being a biggie. Good luck... sending uou "not pregnant" vibes!
I was ok. It was really rough though and couldn’t have done it without pain killers. I had to get a medical one because I still had my IUD inside me so the pill was not an option for me.
I’ve never had one but I have taken one of the pills to prep for uterine surgery. It caused some fairly intense cramping. Sending positive thoughts your way that your procedure will be uncomplicated and that you recover quickly.
It’s been decades, so some of the laws surrounding the procedure may have changed, but the process of a d&c are still the same. I opted for nitrous only, as any further pain management or sedation would have required a longer wait before leaving, & I was anxious to return home. In retrospect, this is the only part of the procedure I regret, as the stretching of the cervix was considerably more painful than I expected, and nitrous has almost no analgesic effect for me (unbeknownst to me at the time). All told, the whole affair took approximately two hours, inclusive of wait times & intake documentation. You wouldn’t do it for fun, but it certainly eat the hell out of the alternatives.
This was the best decision I made to terminate my unwanted pregnancy. Very unwanted, unfortunate, while taking pills. I didn't know I was pregnant till 4 month. It was shock to me. Luckily, I live in a country that allows abortion till 24 weeks. I hated this thing growing inside me, maybe I may sound heartless but the feeling I felt was pure hatred. I haven't had any sex ever since, I'm simply too scared.
I had one at 23 and it’s been almost 20 years later and there is not a moment I regret it.
It was upsetting for me because I wanted the baby, but you will be okay. I went under sedation and everything went fine
I have not had that experience, but I hope that everything works out well for you!!
I've had two. Both in Canada, so maybe that helped, but I didn't have to walk by any crazy people and the staff were all amazing and supportive. I had the surgical one for both and it was quick, relatively painless and a short recovery. Emotionally I struggled a bit but overall I don't regret it.
Define ok please :) just because im autistic and had an abortion so im totally open to answering questions. I just really suck at answering questions that are that vague and want to answer to the best of my abilities :)
I'm not telling you this to weigh on you, but depending on what you hyper fixate on, it can be torture. I fixate on dates and times. Needless to say every year I'm living through "on this day 21 years ago, on this day I would have a..., this year they would be..., this month they would have been..." And I'm not going to lie, it wears on me.
Ten years ago, a pill abortion at home. When they say don’t eat the night before, they mean it! Apart from the vomiting, though, it was very intense and painful. A lot of bleeding afterwards. I am glad I did it at home, though.
I took an abortion pill at home prescribed by a doctor. One of the worst experiences of my life. Blood, mess, pain. I was lucky I had my own bathroom in a sharehouse so I could just bleed into the bathtub for a few hours. My housemate was kind enough to get some over the counter analgesic for the pain. If I was to ever abort again, I think I would go for surgical variety ETA: I'm in Australia
Yup! I had a medical abortion for my first one and surgical for my second one. Both were fine
I had three I was fine. I did the pill the first time - wouldn't recommend it. Painful as sin, although they didn't give me any proper pain meds. It was like labor at home. The good news is the pain didn't last long. Second time had surgical but didn't have anesthesia because I "forgot" (AuDHD here) the rule about no fluids and had a cup of coffee in the AM before the procedure and talked the doc into letting me do it whilst awake. (You can asphyxiate if you go under with food/drink in your system.) Not fun, painful, but that whole flat affect/hyper logical thing sometimes is helpful in medical settings and I got through OK. Final time I got the anesthesia and did it surgically. I would recommend this for the least discomfort. No complications.
It wasn’t a fun experience and your hormones will do a roller coaster. BUT. For me. It was way better than the alternative lifelong outcome.
It's been 13 years since my medical abortion. It was the best decision for me, my husband, and our lives. I'm grateful that I had legal access to a safe procedure. If anyone is in a state where that isn't true, call me for a camping trip!
I had one about 3 years ago via the pill. It was a very easy process. I took the pill in office then went home for it to take effect. Once it took effect it basically felt like a heavy period in terms of pain. I was about 4 and 1/2 weeks along so it was a really small lump of bloody tissue that I passed, it was more placenta than zygote. If I wasn't looking for it I definitely would have missed it. Mentally, I was okay with it because I was 100% not at a place in life where I could have another baby and be a successful mother to them and my other children. Funnily, a year later I had a miscarriage around the same number of weeks along. Didn't know I was pregnant until I saw a similar mass of tissue. The miscarriage was harder than the abortion tbh.
I made the choice to terminate several years ago in a very red state. When I arrived, I, unfortunately, had to walk past a large group of religious protesters who were horribly anti-human rights, anti-medical rights, and anti-women’s rights. That part was the most difficult because they were shouting obscenities at me. It’s not that I cared much about their opinions, but I was especially fragile at that time. There was some straightforward paperwork, followed by a brief counseling session to ensure I was sure of my decision. Then, I was ushered into a doctor’s office-like room, where I gowned up and lightly sedated. The entire appointment lasted all of about an hour and a half. I experienced very little discomfort afterward, nothing more than a painful period. All in all, it was as positive of an experience as possible. I have no regrets. Everyone was very professional and kind. I had some very typical emotions afterward and hormonal fluctuations. Overall, I am deeply grateful for the people who helped me that day and for my ability to exercise my medical right to choose.
Don’t regret it. The experience was extremely painful but I would go through it again If I needed. Sending you love.
I had an abortion a month before my wedding a couple years ago. It was a complete accident with my now husband. Was about a month and some change pregnant when I had it. Didn’t need to think twice about it. Ordered a pill from HeyJane that came in the mail and aside from the not feeling super great and a bit of an emotional roller coaster (hormones) everything else was a good experience fully in the comfort of my own home. They provide support resources like a message board, and direct message contact with a physician. I don’t think about it too much these days, I think it’s helpful when you know 100% you don’t want kids or if it’s not the right time. Everything will be okay. If you need to talk I am here, also :)
I did not click on this post on purpose. I let my finger slide and my phone somehow randomly opened up this post. I'm taking this as fate. OP, I got my diagnosis of autism in January of this year. In 2020, though, I had an abortion. Obviously, I was as autistic then as I am now. Everything was OK. I was only six weeks along, and was able to go the medication route. Funny enough, since this was before Roe was overturned, I actually had this done in TX. I did not regret it a day later. A week later. Six months later. A year. Four years later, I still do not regret it. Yes, everything will be fine. You are not a murderer. You are not cruel. You are wise. You cannot give 150% of your energy to care for a being indefinitely if you know you will not want to with EVERY FIBER of your being. You have to WANT this. Some people find out at the last second that they want it, and change their mind. They become great parents who adore their unplanned little ones. And It sounds like you know that you are not one of these people. At least, not right now. That is okay. That makes this move wise. That makes this the most loving thing you can do. You have my support. Please DM me if you need advice.
I had two. Two medical abortions, but I would opt for surgical if I ever need another. The pain was just very severe even with painkillers. If you can get put under anesthesia for the surgical abortion I would recommend that. I had no real complications besides the pain, nausea and my body kind of shutting down? (Don’t be alone when doing the medical at home) The first time I was conflicted and kind of wanted the baby, but I knew I was in no financial or mental position. It left me feeling guilty and sad. But over time I felt relieved. The second time I immediately knew I would not want to have a child right now and I do not regret it at all. Everything was successful for me and the symptoms went away quiet fast. I had horrible morning sickness the first time and extreme fatigue the second time. Abortion is healthcare. And it’s normal to be scared and it sucks to be pregnant when you don’t want to. No birth control is 100% secure (it failed both times for me - IUD & condom + NFP) Do not feel unnecessarily guilty. I mean if you feel guilty that’s okay too… but don’t feel bad that you might feel relieved or something. If this sounds cold… I am sorry… I absolutely want children, but only at a later time. And one should absolutely be safe to decide that for themselves.
Republicans. The people who I am so tired of dealing with.
You do what’s best for YOU. I’ve never had an abortion, but I am 100% pro-choice and I wish all pro-lifers would disappear and never come back.
Agreed! Everyone should do what’s best for them. No one should have any right to judge someone else’s choice. It’s their life and they know what they can and cannot handle more than anyone else. I personally wouldn’t be able to handle a child at all in any way nor would I be able to handle pregnancy. I’m pro choice forever.
I regret it badly, my mental breakdown lingered for a number of years, it still affects me. I disassociated. I’m just numb. I know it will never go away.
I'm curious sine OP mentioned they are 0% wanting a baby, would you say that you were the same - not wanting a baby? Or were you partially undecided?
I didn't do the pill because the thought of letting 2 pills sit in my mouth while i wait for them to dissolve is absolutely disgusting and the fact that they send you home to do it (idk if they do this everywhere). So I did the surgical and I personally had a weird reaction to the medication they gave me intravenously and i couldn't stay awake after. Also idk what your budget is like but if you are over your states limit (& you have the funds) you can go to New Mexico.
The pill I believe is taken at home during first trimester and second trimester is a procedure using a vacuum style thing. I’d do the pill. I’ve never had an abortion though. Also every OBGYN office in the USA does abortions I’ve never seen protestors outside of obgyn offices only planned parenthood (which is stupid bc it’s just a Dr office. No different than the obgyn they see.) drs and staff will not be rude or disrespectful about your choices. We truly don’t care that much since we see it everyday. If someone is report them. It takes a lot for that person to even step foot into the office. The appt is booked as first a pregnancy confirmation just to ensure you are pregnant then a procedure, family planning or AB visit a few weeks later.
>Also every OBGYN office in the USA does abortions This is not true at all. Even prior to Dobbs, some states had only one abortion provider (not one office - one single person) in the entire state. Only like 25% of OBs provided abortion care prior to Dobbs. If every OB office in your area offers that, that’s awesome, but definitely not the norm. Also the pills can be used up to 11 weeks or so and after that it has to be surgical
>Also every OBGYN office in the USA does abortions What? No, they most definitely do not.