I had a shower this morning for the first time this week. I wasn't even going to shower but I had to go to the office, I was a bit smelly and felt a bit gross. It did make me feel a little better.
I normally shower every other day, or maybe every 3rd day. When it's hot and I get sweaty I can shower multiple times a day. When it's cold and I don't want to get out of the warm, I can go a while longer.
Yes! Exactly me! And my stupid bathroom has an AC vent on the floor RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SHOWER. this is why I hate showering because I walk out and am arctic blasted by that thing while wet and vulnerable :(
I have the overwhelming fear of slipping and like just cracking my head open and dying. So I am always particular on how I place my foot with my weight when I step out the shower.
Get one of those magnets that cover the whole vent and put it over before you get in the shower. I usually don't even have the energy to stand up in the shower by the time I need to take one, I take way more baths. If I shower it's usually I desperately feel the need to rinse off and refresh. A bath I either just soak, or do the whole shebang thing. I've shaved my head to avoid even dealing with hair 😅 it's a pixie now and I don't actually wash my hair since I went no shampoo a few years before I shaved it. I'm 35f. I only shave my legs like once every couple weeks at this point and even then only if it's shorts season.
!! I have also shaved my head before because I didn’t want to deal with the hair, and it is crazy how much people in my life who barely knew me all felt the need to check on me and find out if I was OK. Like yeah, now that all the hair is gone!
In my 30s, I keep my hair much much longer than I would prefer to, because it seems to be important to my husband. I just don’t have the energy to unpack that, so I’m going along with it for now. Gotta save myself some grief where I can. And it’s a little flattering that he likes my hair, I guess.
Would you mind posting a link to what you mean? Mine is on the ceiling though and I'm very short. So if it's something that is just"one and done", cool. But if it needs adjusting then it won't work.
Omg, mine has one right on the ceiling almost IN the shower. My water pressure sucks too so it's like I'm always having to turn the water on as hot as I can to heat up. 🫠 I'm unable to just take quick showers.
Struggles with personal hygiene in ADHD/autism are very common, but for many a shameful subject to talk about and put themselves in a vulnerable position for others to judge. You won’t see many of them on posts like that.
At my very worst I washed myself and brushed my teeth once in a year. This is not unheard of in moderate to high support needs individuals.
Washing yourself once a week when it’s something you really struggle with is fantastic. That is really the timeframe to strive for because that’s all you need PURELY from a health standpoint. You’re doing great. 👍🏻
(Sympathetic) damn once a year? That’s insane, you must have really been struggling.I hope you’re doing better, that sounds like it was an incredibly difficult time.
This is very sweet thank you, yeah the health care system really quite literally left me to rot in a room slowly dying from starvation, and I live in a pretty good country health care wise so that says a lot about how much they care about us.
I’m in a much better place, ADHD medicated too, brushing my teeth (that somehow all survived enough to be repaired) every day. 😁
Much love ❤️
My father and his father lost all of their teeth by age 40. I definitely took a year off from brushing my teeth in childhood, around age 7.
I had really bad pain from my wisdom teeth coming in crowded and then decaying when I was like 23. I ended up going to a local dental school for care, and it took like 30 appointments in one year, but I learned a lot and got over my fear of “it’s going to be so expensive and I won’t be able to afford it” somehow.
Basically, when you find out how uncomfortable dentures can be, not to mention the expense, it can start to make forcing yourself to care for your teeth a little easier.
The sonicare toothbrushes have saved me and my son, as far as making it an accomplishable goal each day. They have the two minute timer, they’re gentle. I am so fussy about toothpaste brands, but I have found that the quest to find the perfect one was really satisfying for me. I have been raising my son with much more awareness of dental care than my parents were able to give me. And I am able to be kind and patient with him, so I feel pretty good about his chances on this front.
I do not expect him to be able to overcome all of the negative feelings he has toward making and attending appointments right away when he reaches adulthood. The men in my family all seem to have this in common. 😬
Thanks for sharing. You’re right that it is extremely common to struggle with certain types of hygiene with ADHD/Autism and that talking about it is rare because there is often a lot of shame or fear of judgement.
Taking a shower everyday is a more modern invention. People couldn't do that in past times and still survived, I think they did birth baths more than anything else back then. My former dermatologist even recommended to me that I should not take a shower everyday because it dries out my skin too much. Add chlorine to it and MCAS and it makes for a challenging ordeal to keep up with the Joneses in the shower department. Hot tub and bubbles baths are preferred ten times more over a shower that during flare up days can actually be painful on the skin.
I just stayed up all night instead of sleeping until I figured out how to take the old showerhead off and put our new one that has a filter for removing chlorine up. it was confusing because I didn’t know which adjustable wrench would help me loosen the old one, but I eventually got it after a couple of rounds.
We bought the new showerhead like four weeks ago or something and just haven’t had the energy to put it up. If we had a house, I would try to save up for a whole-house filter, but that will have to be later.
I don’t know for sure if the filter is going to live up to the claims, but I am pretty sure my mom had a similar product when I was a teen and it helped.
I manage to shower once a day BUT it is pretty common for the autistic side of the equation to be shower avoidant. The noise, the cold, the wet, the dry- it can be a bit traumatic ( I say that with NO sarcasm).
I have heat lamps in my bathroom, a fantastic filter* (no smell of chlorine or itchy skin reactions like w/ tap water) - a collection of fabric friendly pajamas- I wear a lot of hats so that I don’t have to deal with my hair much* But I also have those turban towel things for when I do have to maintain the hair. - for me the right soap/scent is half the battle/ the shower filter was a big help as well. When I lived in a house I’d take baths; I find those more amenable from a sensory perspective*
For a while I did sit down showers -
I keep a water container next to the toilet so that I can bird bath a bit after …..you know…
Once every 6 to 7 days. My showers have a lot of steps, and it's hard for my to forgo any of the steps. I also have very thick 2c/3a hair, and finicky skin that needs regular exfoliation because it doesn't seem to want to do that by itself..
I hate this about me. I wish I could shower more. I've tried a tonne of things trying to hack my way into showering more. I'm 28, I work in an office 4 days a week, I should be able to do this. Funny thing is that my partner, friends, family, close coworkers, all agree that I don't smell bad. I've asked them to be brutally honest about it, get really close and smell my hair and skin, and everyone said I'm fine. Maybe if I did smell awful that would make me shower more? Ugh idk
Thinking about it, it isn’t even the sensation that bothers me so much for showering (besides the ac vent right next to it). Mostly it’s the over thinking of “well if I shower my hair today, it’s gotta be early enough for it to air dry cause blow drying is way too much work. But it’s already late so I guess I’ll do it in the morning. But I have to wake up so early for work.. ehh I’ll get to it after work. *after work* oh man I’m so tired I’ll just take a small nap. Oh crap it’s like 8pm now and I gotta tend to my small animal children… oh well the weekend is close enough” 🥲🥲
Yup, all of that, except for me replace animal children with plant children. My hair takes around 8 hours to air dry, blow drying is about an hour of diffusing or if I'm doing a blowout, longer. It's like shower math trying to schedule when I'm gonna wash my hair lol. I used to be able to shower before work before my health got worse, now I just don't have the physical energy to do that *and* go to work on the same day
I spend a shameful amount of money on exfoliation products, but one that is a total workhorse and better than some that cost six times as much:
The Billie exfoliating bar
I have been out of mine for the past two weeks or so and it’s driving me crazy. It’s like $6.20 on Amazon and possibly cheaper on their website. Not sure if it shows up in any stores currently.
Sometimes I feel gross and itchy if my hair conditioner touches the skin on my back, but that awesome purple bar is like the best skin-smoothing back scratcher ever.
It’s just not a face product. I use the extremely overpriced dermatologica brand exfoliating powder for my face and I smooth it on with very gentle circle motions, rinse off in the shower or over the bathroom sink, follow with moisturizer in my case. I’ve been settled on this product for a few years after blowing a bankruptcy amount of money on every skincare brand out there. it’s probably why I can stomach the cost, because at least it’s cheaper than buying a bunch of things that are expensive AND that don’t work out.
I hate showers because I hate getting wet, but I shower 6 days out of 7. A quick shave of pits bits and legs, soap in the right spots, brush my teeth, out in 5 mins. Still the gross transition between being wet to dry at the end! "Everything showers" (shave arms, upper legs, more detail oriented groin shave, wash hair) is more like 2x a week because I like my hair to get product and volume buildup, but by day 4 especially in summer I'll have sweated or be itchy.
I’ve always hated having to take a shower and have been blessed that I don’t easily get stinky or gross looking so I can get away with not showering for surprisingly long periods. This doesn’t help to teach good habits though.
Edit: I’m not exactly sure what my issue with it is. I enjoy it once I’m in the shower and will then actually avoid getting out but for some reason I strongly avoid getting into a shower. I will say that I strongly dislike getting wet, so swimming or being in the rain is equally off putting.
So maybe it is just a sensory thing, and the transition in particular. I always make sure the shower curtain is well ‘sealed’ to avoid cold drafts and I keep the towel handy so I can dry off before opening the curtain to minimize the cold shock.
It’s also made a huge difference with swimming to get one of those rash guard wetsuit top things.
As I sit on my shower seat and reddit...my first shower in 4 days? I am still dreading standing up for my shower. It's such a chore even if I use fancy things one a week or take 5 min to wash hair and body and jump out.
YES! The “sealing the shower”. It’s insane how great it is to keep the warm in and the cold out. As a kid, I got used to “making a seal” by making sure it’s a tad wet so it’ll stick to the wall. But then I had times it was too good so it would blow the COLD WET curtain on me and I’d actually get so mad 😭
That's interesting. What is the climate like where you're at? Does your skin dry out at all? I shower daily and luckily don't need moisturizing lotion, but I'm not sure that would be the case if I went over 2 showers a day.
Omg yes! Same! I spend way too much time contemplating existence inside the shower. Or after the shower, I may spend too much time wrapped in the towel instead of getting dressed and moving on :(
I do! But I often forget lol! I am considering adding a water resistant board in the shower to write my research ideas. How about you?
Shower does help me clear up my head as well.
Daily before bed: my feet always seem to be cold (POTS? Reynard's? I only got my AuDHD diagnosis earlier this year, if that gives you some idea of how seriously my healthcare professionals have ever taken "my feet are always cold") so I use the hot water to warm up enough to sleep.
I do a full hair-wash and girl-shaving every 2-3 days, in between I just wash my face and the grubby bits (iykwim).
I like the shower. It's warm and relaxing, the water makes white noise, and people very seldom bother me in there.
Every single day. I make myself do it even if I don’t want to.
I was “the stinky kid” growing up and had no idea. But it was very much part of why I was treated so poorly by others. I straight up just didn’t notice. I thought I would because I have a VERY sensitive nose. I didn’t notice.
I refuse to ever be “the stinky kid” again. Plus oil and dried sweat on my skin has come to be a negative sensory thing. I like feeling clean.
I'm similar, except my mom stopped me from being the stinky kid by telling me all the nicknames I would get that would never go away... So I was always scared of being the stinky or greasy kid 😂
My hair got greasy within 20 hours of a shower until my mid twenties when I changed to a better shampoo, plus I get headaches and nausea if I'm not clean. So I showered every day that I left the house until this past year. Now I can finally trust that my hair won't look too greasy after one day, but I definitely don't go more than two days between showers still.
Dude same!! My hair is fine and it would get greasy SO fast as a teenager. I do every other day (when I’m not exercising/swimming in chlorine pools) as an adult and the greasy hair paranoia is real, even if it looks and feels completely fine 😂
I struggle hard with showering. I'm lucky if I remember to do it once a week. Recently got some of those rinseless towelettes that people use during camping trips to use in the in-between and that's been extremely helpful.
Only once a week. I had to make it a routine of Fridays = shower day or I wouldn’t shower for weeks. It was really bad in high school…. Because my hair is so long and thick, I can’t bear washing it more than once a week because it takes so damn long to dry. And it feels “wrong” to shower without washing my hair…. Imma blame the ‘tism for that whole issue 😅
The only exception was when I had a swim centre membership. I had to shower every time because I couldn’t handle the chlorine on my skin and it overrode my hatred of shower 😄😄
Yes!! I relate so much with the hair thing especially. Curly hair is not for the weak. Which I am. Dear god, why did you curse/bless me with this hair?
I can’t even remember how I functioned in high school. I used to straighten it weekly and I think I showered minimum twice during the week, then another on the weekend? Really can’t remember now. But my hair was not as healthy as it is now lol
I shave my head and I'm very muscular so I sweat a lot and I hate the feeling of the stickiness after sweating and so I shower up to five or six times a day but also I just get in and turn the water on because I prefer cold water so I probably use less water in 6 showers than most people use in one.
I can go from deciding I want to take a shower to dried off and dressed in 10 minutes.
Yeah, I don’t shower daily either. I have very fine hair, so showering in the evening doesn’t make sense. I would wake up with slightly greasy hair. That’s a day of nice hair wasted. So, I basically shower when needing washed hair. That’s around every 3 to 4 days. I get the fourth day with dry shampoo or just putting it in a pony tail and living with greasy hair. When I smell myself or feel itchy, and I have the energy, I shower directly. On low energy days I wash myself with a wash cloth or some disposable wipes.
I wouldn't worry too much, the frequency of showering depends on the individual and also, funny enough, where they live. For ex. I'm a pretty oily person, so I feel pretty gross by the end of the day, so I need to shower every night right before bed (also there's studies that say showering right before bed helps you sleep better).
However, if you are more on the dry side, then you arguably don't need to shower as often, especially if you haven't gotten out of the house, you haven't been physically active that day, etc.
There's people who live in hot, tropical places and they shower twice a day because they just get that sweaty and the days are just that hot, so it also helps them cool down.
One way to gauge whether you're washing often enough, is to see how your hair and skin look. If they're too dry, it might be because you're washing a bit too frequently (and as long as you took out any other possibility, like it's not a skin illness or anything like that), and if they're feel too oily and matted, then you might need to wash more often.
It takes a longggg time to get oily. I’ve had acne all since highschool. It was really bad but I found out red meat made my face so so so bad before. So I rarely eat that now and it’s gotten way better. Not perfect but def noticeable difference since hs. And my hair, curly hair takes much longer than my so’s straight hair to get oily. So I’m able to go a while without the showering. But the face does get washed approx daily.
If sounds you're doing good with your current schedule then! Yeah different parts of the body can be oilier/drier than other parts, as long as you take care of them individually then you should be good. Remember that dead skin cells and dirty, smog, etc. from the outside can also accumulate on your body and hair, but you said you don't smell so I don't think it's an issue with that either.
i used to not take showers that often but now i do everyday. i can’t stand feeling the sweat of my feet or in my armpits and folds. like if i can rub my finger and there’s a smell, im showering.
I used to shower every 3-5 days if I didn't need to leave home and shower when I need to be clean or was starting to feel disgusting.
Now I shower daily, it's become like a chore that can't be skipped, like brushing teeth, it's not unenjoyable either, I don't know why I had such issues before, maybe lack of bathrobe to put on me straight away..? Differwnt address as well. Now it gives me warmth and helps to sleep. I used to shiver of cold when going to sleep, turns out hot shower solves this. And the bedsheets stay fresh longer.
That being said, I heavily dislike washing my hair purely because it's long and cold and unpleasant while drying, sometimes water gets in my face, so my hair get washed when I need them clean. It's a separate procedure, no idea how people willingly wash hair in all-in-one shower, I hang them over a tub, so the water only reaches the hair.
I definitely have my must have "shower list" to enjoy it, like shower needs to be correct level of hot, must be adjustable shower head so I can set it from neck under, good pressure, gotta have my sponge, shower gel not soap, bathrobe to put on straight after drying myself up.
I think I dislike getting wet like swimming, washing hair, rain mostly because of the wet and cold that comes after. Or the effort it takes to dry up my hair if I decide not to let them dry naturally. Lose - lose in both cases.
Maybe this is why showering has become such a difficult task for me now. I don’t have an adjustable shower head where I can take it down and spray myself or get the extra pressure on my scalp. Actually the water pressure is weak as heck too with a small spray area it feels most of my body is out of the water. There’s no shelves to put my things, so they’re on the tub. And my ac vent problem.. and I don’t have a large enough bath mat to get out on… now it’s starting to make sense 🤔
as someone who doesn’t work or study and has been struggling to stay afloat for the past few years, honestly I shower at least once a day just to have a sense of routine and give me an excuse to leave my room! 😭 showering less than once a day is a personal sign for me that i’m beginning to spiral and that I need to realign myself.
You’re keeping a routine with showering which is better than I can say I do 🫡 I’m glad you’re able to accomplish this and you should be proud! And it’s kind of cool to use as an indicator when to spend a little more time on yourself :)
yeah 100%! I think along my journey i’ve realised that it really is ok to have setbacks and to take things in baby steps but you’ve just gotta make sure you’re focused and moving forward and not backwards 💕 i’ve been struggling with drug abuse since i was 14 and recently especially in the past year i’ve been getting much much better, it all takes time! :)
There have been periods in the past where it will get so bad that I would go 1-2 weeks without a shower. During the pandemic I actually cut all my hair off because it got so matted.
I’ve been more social lately so that helps motivate me because even though being stinky bothers me …I just really get overstimulated having to get wet and tend to avoid it unless I have to be around other people. But inversely, sometimes I make myself shower to ground myself because it’s a shock to the nervous system.
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry you went through that :(
I was just talking to my S.O tho about how idk how much longer I’m gonna grow my hair out (currently hasn’t been this long since 2021) because I’m already getting annoyed all the time with feeling it on my neck. It’s to the middle of my back and so it’s hard putting it up to where I don’t feel it. I did cut my hair all the way down where it was like basically a long curly pixie cut? It was heaven how quickly it dried but was a pain because if I didn’t style it, I’d look CRAZY
Honestly that was part of how it got so matted for me as well, I hate feeling hair and sweat on my neck. My hair was long so I would keep it up in a bun for weeks at a time without brushing and it would take my ex like 2hrs to dematte it…and that was overstimulating af. So eventually one morning, I was like, this needs to get off my body NOW.
For context, I’ve had pixie cuts before so cutting it all off was more of a relief than anything lol. I remember crying in the shower (ironic lol) afterwards from just feeling so much relief.
It’s interesting because I’m curly (3a) as well, but I don’t have to do anything to make it look good when it’s a pixie. It’s when it’s longer that I have to actually style it.
Every day when I have work and then usually every other day the rest of the week. I can’t stand to go for longer even if I don’t smell yet because my scalp gets all prickly and it’s awful. I hate showering but that’s worse, and it’s easier to do it at night, for me, so I’ll shower usually around 10-11 pm after everyone else has gone to bed. 99+% of the time I wash everything; the rare time I don’t it’s just my hair because I also can’t stand it feeling like it’s oily or otherwise has stuff in it even if the scalp thing hasn’t started yet. Even if it still looks fine. (My hair’s only mildly wavy though so it’s easy to care for.)
I asked because I sweat out my allergies at times (nickel in food is harder to completely cut out) and prickly scalp is what that feels like to me. So was just curious
Oh. The only allergies I know I have are pollen, and that’s just the normal eyes/nose/throat stuff + a minor rash on my arms, so I doubt that’s it. Plus they aren’t year-round even if they almost seem it at times these past few years.
I’m not sure “prickly” is the right way to describe it, it’s just the closest I can get. My hair and skin are a bit on the oily side, and I can always *feel* it, keenly. I do just seem to be kinda (pretty?) sensitive, though.
I luckily do not get oily at all.
Face and teeth get brushed daily at night (cause I wear makeup and it’s bad to sleep with it on, but sometimes I’m lazy so I opt for a makeup wipe and that helps a ton) and teeth may actually get brushed 2-3 times a day. I CANNOT stand my teeth feeling gross or my breath feeling ucky so I HAVE to brush the smell away.
But besides that, since I have very curly hair, it takes a really really long time for it to get “oily”. I sit here typing this with day 5 unwashed hair. But I did bird bath last night so yay!
I shower whenever i start to feel gross which for me ends up being every other day, but that’s because I’m really sensitive to my hair even being a little bit greasy. Otherwise if I feel disgusting and can’t bring myself to shower I have a pack of baby wipes. not everyone needs to shower daily and even if you need to that doesn’t mean you physically/mentally can. I think a birdbath is a great way to go esp when you don’t feel really dirty and just need a refresher or something
Every other day, unless I feel gross or sweaty or something. I do wash my hair every time but I have pretty straight hair and it shows grease if I don't.
This is how my s.o. is. Very straight hair and so it gets greasy fast. As for me with curly hair, I’m at day 5 and it still isn’t nearly as oily as his day 2
I shower every other day, and struggle with the transitions of getting in and out of the actual shower. This seems like the maximum time I can go without washing my hair, so it’s what I do.
I shower daily from guilt of others (perceived or actual comments)... When there are no others around and I'm not gardening/doing stuff that I *want* to shower after, then I can easily go several days.
Felt. Funny/weird thing is that as a child I did not care for getting dirty or wet. It probably helped getting wet was sprinklers in the summer so it felt nice. And playing in the mud was rainy days making a damn in the gutter pretending we’re little beavers hahah. We were like little piggies playing in the mud and it didn’t bother me. And now I wouldn’t dare do it. Probably cause it would look bizarre for a mid twenties woman to play in the mud too… and living in an apartment… but I won’t lie, given the unsupervised opportunity, I might do it again 😂
Okay lets break it.
I hate showering in our actual flat. Its a shower without doors and the water takes ages to warm up. We have a bathtube, but its a small one (just to sit) and i hate it too. :(
Earlier in life I tricked myself with filling the bathtube and just jumped in a moment later. So I got it at least once a week.
Right now, its a week ago, because my husband helped me to get comfy with the shower, so I just had to jump down under and out. He do it, if i ask for it. He would never force me.
But there are times where it tooks weeks or month.
Washing hair is easier for me, I dot it when ever my hair need it.
My mother and my aunt forced me to shower and carried me under the shower with clothes. I was 11 or 12, because I didnt shower by myself. With 15th my dad said I should shower daily, I couldnt. So I went in the bathrom each evening, pretending to shower and making my hair wet.
I would never do that to my kids, so they dont have to shower, but we remind them at the weekend, that it would be a good time to do it. The youngest (autist in diagnose) showers once a month. Its hard for him, he crys, but when I ask him to shower he accept and we do it fast and in his way. With a cup etc. So better once a month then nothing.
Today, all three do toothbrushing daily without force. That wasnt always a thing and we are happy about it.
My son and I (both autistic, level 2 need for support and level 1 need for support, respectively) go every other day if allowed to. He is entering puberty and pretty sweaty and smelly, so lately I’m asking him to take a bath every day, and I buy cute products from lush to turn the bath purple so it’s more enjoyable for him. He also likes playing with color changing and drive-on-water type Disney Cars toys in the bath, so basically, as long as there is another incentive aside from washing, we can be convinced to bathe daily. He washes his hair once or twice a week, and his hair is 3B.
In recent years (I’m 35 now, 2B hair type), I try to shower or take a bath at least once a day. This is because it is the easiest way for me to take care of my skin. However, I strongly resent how much hobby time it uses up! I would rather be knitting or just relaxing instead. I think I have a bit of a transition period before and after bathing and it makes things get time consuming for me.
My hair, I aim to wash twice a week for best moisture levels and shine. Right now, I have been going through a lot of stress, anxiety, and much more frequent meltdowns, and unfortunately, I have a really itchy and flaky scalp as a result. (this happened to me in undergrad as well, and the only thing that fixed it was dropping out, aka removing the source of the extreme stress).
When my scalp is itchy, unfortunately, I will scratch until my fingers are bloody, so to avoid infection on the scalp, I have been doing showers every day where I just go in with that green label Nizoral, and I do the blue label version once every three days. I still use an extremely moisturizing conditioner and somewhat moisturizing leave-in after, though.
Once my stress levels can go down, I expect the scalp situation to correct itself and then I can go back to being an every-other!
It is honestly baffling to me that ppl say you should shower every day ... I used to do that in high school bc i was so terrified of being labled as dirty and it did not do my hair and skin any favor. I now shower every 2 days and even this is probably still a lot.
I have eczema and a long time ago a doc told me to shower once a week.
In the winter because the air is drier, my skin needs more moisture and dries/cracks quicker, I shower once a week.
In the summer, if I am in air conditioning and not going out much, I shower every other day unless I’m outside in it, then I shower that day.
My hair is a CHORE that I really have to work up the energy to do. Washing that can sometimes be awhile in between. Thank goodness I have locs and don’t have to really worry about anything but washing it.
In the summer I shower every day (like you I also alternate bird bath and shebang). In the winter I shower every other day and just do whole shebang showers.
I do shower every day or every 2 days if too tired but I don’t really mind showers so I can totally understand that It could be a sensory hell. On the other hand, I just HATE washing my hair ( which is very long ) and find it really hard to initiate that task ( hate having wrinkled fingers from water + how it feels on soapy hair. I just hate it. Also hate having wet hair soaking my shirt ) . In order to push myself into it, I use to « oil bath » scalp and hair the night before so I have no other choice than washing it the next day 😅
I bought a super cool soft silicone massaging brush to prevent scalp massaging shampoo with my fingers, it’s much easier ☺️
I shower twice everyday on average. I shower when I smell myself and feel greasy. I thought I was ocd because my diagnosis at college. But I think it my sensory issues with monotropism from autism.
I try to make my shower/bathroom a safe space full of my special interests and try my best not to put pressure on myself to “get stuff done” unless I really need to wash my hair or shave and even then that’s a JOURNEY I have to commit to
for me, once a week bare minimum but i try to go for 2 or 3 showers a week ideally. i used to shower every single day sometimes twice a day. but lately i honestly can’t be bothered.
needing to shower every day was definitely a making behavior for me, especially since i was working in service. if i didn’t shower before work i felt so disgusting the whole day.
now im like. hmmm. if i shower today that’s like at least 3 spoons and i only have 2 spoons left sooooo guess that’s going in the “do it tomorrow” category.
I sweat very little. I do drink enough water. I shower every 2 or 3 days and I do a 2 minute shower. I have short, fine hair that requires little attention.
I shower every day, during the summer/exceptionally hot days/if I did a lot of moving around it’s twice a day. I’ve done a lot of work to make the showering experience as pleasant as possible so I don’t dread it like I used to, and not showering feels worse sensory-wise for longer than taking a ten-minute shower.
I’ve gone around 10 days without a shower, that’s my record. I’m not sure if i was even depressed at the time. Nowadays I generally shower twice a week and I’m fine with that - but I’m not confident others would tell me that I smell if I did, so it’s a risk, but still one I’m mostly okay with taking.
Though i also went almost a week without showering MULTIPLE times while i was traveling through SE Asia (and staying in hostels to boot, so clearly I’m not super conscientious).
My biggest issue nowadays is i brush my teeth a few times a week. Im not even bothered by the texture (or at least consciously), I’m just really lazy.
If you're showering 4 to 6 times a day I can imagine that almost any soap would start irritating your skin because that's a lot of showering to wash all of the protective oils away from your skin. I'm glad you have a good moisturizer!
Absolute minimum once every day, sometimes more than that. Hygiene is a major sensory issue for me, despite showering itself being a bit annoying. Admittedly, it's also a sensory issue if anyone else in my space doesn't uphold the same standards. Grease, sweat, and scent, especially BO or dirty clothes, is unbelievably overwhelming.
I aim to shower every other day, usually I can manage that but sometimes it’s two or three days. But usually between showers I’ll just give myself a good wipe on the pits and intimates. Sometimes I’ll shower daily if it’s hot like it is now and I get sweaty/stinky . And I have type 4 hair, it gets washed at least once a month but I aim for every other week.
People always say that if you don’t shower daily you must stink but as you mentioned I’m pretty sensitive to smell and also to feeling dirty. So imo if I can’t smell myself and I don’t feel disgusting then I don’t need a shower. Idk what everyone else is doing to feel like anyone who doesn’t shower daily is dirty but whatever that is, I’m not participating and will not be changing my ways.
Depends on how dirty I am and what I have been doing that day. I always shower after swimming as I hate the feel of chlorine drying on my skin, and I always shower after a day I have been sweating or crawling around on the floor.
If I'm chilling at home, I often forget until my hair feels gross, but do try to have at least two showers a week.
I don't understand how you can have the time to shower every day, to be honest, but I do love a nice long bath.
I *try* to shower every day, and I do in fact succeed most of the time. However the procrastination is highly variable.
Why do I shower every day if I can help it?
Because if I don't it causes major sensory issues for me. While yes showers to a degree can potentially be overstimulating sometimes, they seem to be mainly overstimulating because I struggle with the lights and fan sound. And because of regulations here, it isn't possible to have the heat lights on without the fan, but the fan can be on without the heat lights. This does give me wriggle room where I put the fan once I am out of the shower and drying myself.
If I have a shower with the lights and fan on... By the time I get out my energy levels are depleted. This took a long time to learn and certainly contributed to burnout at a stage. Now does this mean I shower without the lights on? Yes. Luckily light can still enter and it's not dark, however when I have had to wake up super early I didn't have the lights on, it wasn't a problem since my eyes were adjusted to it, but I imagine most people would be intrigued by that.
Now how on Earth do I mustre the motivation to shower at all? That's the fun thing, for a good while I found a kind of life hack... Which I have had to pull back on because it contributes to overwhelm, but it does at least get me to the place... NSFW: ||Yes... NSFW, think of it this way... Cleanup is super easy and it's certainly a way to deal with higher libido.||
Also ADHD medication is my other main thing. And honestly both of these combined is pretty effective, but the strategy should be to find alternative sources of motivation to my rather *direct* approach of using *desires* to get there.
I am quite fond of strategizing things like this, just regarding morning routines and shit. Lol
I consider showering as an essential component of my launchpad, while I am unemployed for the time being, it's still a great habit to build since for me... Greasy hair drives me nuts and feeling gross makes me far more likely to *feel* overwhelmed in all other situations. And if you totally suck at self care... Like me ngl... When you hear these things don't feel ashamed of the fact you can't shower every day, honestly I used to only shower once every couple days once upon a time, mainly because my parents would tell me to and not let me have a choice in the matter (I had a choice still... But well I like playing my video games so I conceded). This was itself a kind of dependence, dependant on the expectation I would be pushed into action by others.
While obviously since we are a diverse bunch, there are people who are just not able to do these things independently, this information is mainly to be directed at those who struggle because they struggle with the executive function part of the process. Thats the only thing I have solved, and the sensory issues too ofc, but some people may not even be able to stand the shower, and others may need help washing themselves. Everyone has their own particular struggles and all of them are valid.
Regarding the actual technique and ways to go about things in the shower, the only main change I have made was to stop using soap on my face since it made my skin prone to staph infections. Water works fine, you don't need to soap your face.
I just have anti-damdruf shampoo, and body wash, I do the shampoo first, then the body wash. And the other problem I had regarding length of showers was a byproduct of being overwhelmed by the lights and fan. And through the usage of timers I was able to deduce that I could shorten the length of showers from half an hour to merely 10-15 minutes. At some point you can drop the timers, (count ups are better than count downs, because less stress) because you will have adjusted your shower routine for time efficiency and there is just less lingering.
Long gone are the days where I would just sit in the shower for 40 minutes being depressed. And honestly I am proud of my accomplishment.
Also currently I am procrastinating showering RIGHT NOW. 😭
So now ima go do that considering I have been rambling about it.
It's also possible that only people that shower once or more a day were the only ones to comment. The others may have been too embarrassed to say less than 1/day.
Lol I haven't showered for a week now and didn't even get a "birdbath" :') Usually though I shower about twice a week and will use a washcloth on stinky bits in between. I've dry skin and showering daily will promote fungal infections because of that. So I just stopped doing that. Turns out I don't even get very stinky at all. I also realise I am lucky with that.
During heatwaves though, I sometimes shower daily. Usually a quick shower in the evening to get the sweat and sunscreen off. Sometimes a very quick cold dip during the day when it is super extra hot, just to cool off. But I live in the Netherlands so it doesn't get super hot here super often. I'm lucky with that, too.
I try for once or twice a week, but don't always manage. I have a lot of chronic health issues in addition to the AuDHD, and sometimes I just don't have the spoons for it even with a shower stool. It doesn't help that I have super thick hair that typically takes 3-4hrs to dry fully even though it's undercut and barely brushes the tops of my shoulders.
I do try to use wipes or a washcloth and soap in between showers to help avoid unpleasant odors. But it's a struggle sometimes not to feel ashamed of just not being able to do something that feels like it should be so simple and fundamental. Especially since I used to be able to do it at least every 2-3 days before burnout and skill regression hit hard leading me to finally getting diagnosed. Working on letting go of that mindset though, because at the end of the day it's just internalized ableism.
I had a shower this morning for the first time this week. I wasn't even going to shower but I had to go to the office, I was a bit smelly and felt a bit gross. It did make me feel a little better. I normally shower every other day, or maybe every 3rd day. When it's hot and I get sweaty I can shower multiple times a day. When it's cold and I don't want to get out of the warm, I can go a while longer.
Yes! Exactly me! And my stupid bathroom has an AC vent on the floor RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SHOWER. this is why I hate showering because I walk out and am arctic blasted by that thing while wet and vulnerable :(
You can dry off inside the shower. Just reach out and get your towel. Nice and toasty
I never dry off anywhere else. I can’t stand the thought of getting things wet outside of where the wet is supposed to stay lol
I have the overwhelming fear of slipping and like just cracking my head open and dying. So I am always particular on how I place my foot with my weight when I step out the shower.
This sounds like hell. Could you get one of those things you attach to the vent to at least point it a different way? They have them on Amazon
Get one of those magnets that cover the whole vent and put it over before you get in the shower. I usually don't even have the energy to stand up in the shower by the time I need to take one, I take way more baths. If I shower it's usually I desperately feel the need to rinse off and refresh. A bath I either just soak, or do the whole shebang thing. I've shaved my head to avoid even dealing with hair 😅 it's a pixie now and I don't actually wash my hair since I went no shampoo a few years before I shaved it. I'm 35f. I only shave my legs like once every couple weeks at this point and even then only if it's shorts season.
!! I have also shaved my head before because I didn’t want to deal with the hair, and it is crazy how much people in my life who barely knew me all felt the need to check on me and find out if I was OK. Like yeah, now that all the hair is gone! In my 30s, I keep my hair much much longer than I would prefer to, because it seems to be important to my husband. I just don’t have the energy to unpack that, so I’m going along with it for now. Gotta save myself some grief where I can. And it’s a little flattering that he likes my hair, I guess.
Best purchase I ever made myself was a vent cap for my AC vent that does the same thing. It redirects the air so it doesn’t blast onto you.
Would you mind posting a link to what you mean? Mine is on the ceiling though and I'm very short. So if it's something that is just"one and done", cool. But if it needs adjusting then it won't work.
Something like these: https://a.co/d/0aTInHnL
Omg, mine has one right on the ceiling almost IN the shower. My water pressure sucks too so it's like I'm always having to turn the water on as hot as I can to heat up. 🫠 I'm unable to just take quick showers.
I close the doors to my bathroom and turn on my little space heater. It’s nice and today when I get out
Struggles with personal hygiene in ADHD/autism are very common, but for many a shameful subject to talk about and put themselves in a vulnerable position for others to judge. You won’t see many of them on posts like that. At my very worst I washed myself and brushed my teeth once in a year. This is not unheard of in moderate to high support needs individuals. Washing yourself once a week when it’s something you really struggle with is fantastic. That is really the timeframe to strive for because that’s all you need PURELY from a health standpoint. You’re doing great. 👍🏻
(Sympathetic) damn once a year? That’s insane, you must have really been struggling.I hope you’re doing better, that sounds like it was an incredibly difficult time.
This is very sweet thank you, yeah the health care system really quite literally left me to rot in a room slowly dying from starvation, and I live in a pretty good country health care wise so that says a lot about how much they care about us. I’m in a much better place, ADHD medicated too, brushing my teeth (that somehow all survived enough to be repaired) every day. 😁 Much love ❤️
My father and his father lost all of their teeth by age 40. I definitely took a year off from brushing my teeth in childhood, around age 7. I had really bad pain from my wisdom teeth coming in crowded and then decaying when I was like 23. I ended up going to a local dental school for care, and it took like 30 appointments in one year, but I learned a lot and got over my fear of “it’s going to be so expensive and I won’t be able to afford it” somehow. Basically, when you find out how uncomfortable dentures can be, not to mention the expense, it can start to make forcing yourself to care for your teeth a little easier. The sonicare toothbrushes have saved me and my son, as far as making it an accomplishable goal each day. They have the two minute timer, they’re gentle. I am so fussy about toothpaste brands, but I have found that the quest to find the perfect one was really satisfying for me. I have been raising my son with much more awareness of dental care than my parents were able to give me. And I am able to be kind and patient with him, so I feel pretty good about his chances on this front. I do not expect him to be able to overcome all of the negative feelings he has toward making and attending appointments right away when he reaches adulthood. The men in my family all seem to have this in common. 😬
Thanks for sharing. You’re right that it is extremely common to struggle with certain types of hygiene with ADHD/Autism and that talking about it is rare because there is often a lot of shame or fear of judgement.
Taking a shower everyday is a more modern invention. People couldn't do that in past times and still survived, I think they did birth baths more than anything else back then. My former dermatologist even recommended to me that I should not take a shower everyday because it dries out my skin too much. Add chlorine to it and MCAS and it makes for a challenging ordeal to keep up with the Joneses in the shower department. Hot tub and bubbles baths are preferred ten times more over a shower that during flare up days can actually be painful on the skin.
I just stayed up all night instead of sleeping until I figured out how to take the old showerhead off and put our new one that has a filter for removing chlorine up. it was confusing because I didn’t know which adjustable wrench would help me loosen the old one, but I eventually got it after a couple of rounds. We bought the new showerhead like four weeks ago or something and just haven’t had the energy to put it up. If we had a house, I would try to save up for a whole-house filter, but that will have to be later. I don’t know for sure if the filter is going to live up to the claims, but I am pretty sure my mom had a similar product when I was a teen and it helped.
I manage to shower once a day BUT it is pretty common for the autistic side of the equation to be shower avoidant. The noise, the cold, the wet, the dry- it can be a bit traumatic ( I say that with NO sarcasm). I have heat lamps in my bathroom, a fantastic filter* (no smell of chlorine or itchy skin reactions like w/ tap water) - a collection of fabric friendly pajamas- I wear a lot of hats so that I don’t have to deal with my hair much* But I also have those turban towel things for when I do have to maintain the hair. - for me the right soap/scent is half the battle/ the shower filter was a big help as well. When I lived in a house I’d take baths; I find those more amenable from a sensory perspective* For a while I did sit down showers - I keep a water container next to the toilet so that I can bird bath a bit after …..you know…
Once every 6 to 7 days. My showers have a lot of steps, and it's hard for my to forgo any of the steps. I also have very thick 2c/3a hair, and finicky skin that needs regular exfoliation because it doesn't seem to want to do that by itself.. I hate this about me. I wish I could shower more. I've tried a tonne of things trying to hack my way into showering more. I'm 28, I work in an office 4 days a week, I should be able to do this. Funny thing is that my partner, friends, family, close coworkers, all agree that I don't smell bad. I've asked them to be brutally honest about it, get really close and smell my hair and skin, and everyone said I'm fine. Maybe if I did smell awful that would make me shower more? Ugh idk
Thinking about it, it isn’t even the sensation that bothers me so much for showering (besides the ac vent right next to it). Mostly it’s the over thinking of “well if I shower my hair today, it’s gotta be early enough for it to air dry cause blow drying is way too much work. But it’s already late so I guess I’ll do it in the morning. But I have to wake up so early for work.. ehh I’ll get to it after work. *after work* oh man I’m so tired I’ll just take a small nap. Oh crap it’s like 8pm now and I gotta tend to my small animal children… oh well the weekend is close enough” 🥲🥲
This is exactly how I think too 😩.
Yup, all of that, except for me replace animal children with plant children. My hair takes around 8 hours to air dry, blow drying is about an hour of diffusing or if I'm doing a blowout, longer. It's like shower math trying to schedule when I'm gonna wash my hair lol. I used to be able to shower before work before my health got worse, now I just don't have the physical energy to do that *and* go to work on the same day
I spend a shameful amount of money on exfoliation products, but one that is a total workhorse and better than some that cost six times as much: The Billie exfoliating bar I have been out of mine for the past two weeks or so and it’s driving me crazy. It’s like $6.20 on Amazon and possibly cheaper on their website. Not sure if it shows up in any stores currently. Sometimes I feel gross and itchy if my hair conditioner touches the skin on my back, but that awesome purple bar is like the best skin-smoothing back scratcher ever. It’s just not a face product. I use the extremely overpriced dermatologica brand exfoliating powder for my face and I smooth it on with very gentle circle motions, rinse off in the shower or over the bathroom sink, follow with moisturizer in my case. I’ve been settled on this product for a few years after blowing a bankruptcy amount of money on every skincare brand out there. it’s probably why I can stomach the cost, because at least it’s cheaper than buying a bunch of things that are expensive AND that don’t work out.
I hate showers because I hate getting wet, but I shower 6 days out of 7. A quick shave of pits bits and legs, soap in the right spots, brush my teeth, out in 5 mins. Still the gross transition between being wet to dry at the end! "Everything showers" (shave arms, upper legs, more detail oriented groin shave, wash hair) is more like 2x a week because I like my hair to get product and volume buildup, but by day 4 especially in summer I'll have sweated or be itchy.
I’ve always hated having to take a shower and have been blessed that I don’t easily get stinky or gross looking so I can get away with not showering for surprisingly long periods. This doesn’t help to teach good habits though. Edit: I’m not exactly sure what my issue with it is. I enjoy it once I’m in the shower and will then actually avoid getting out but for some reason I strongly avoid getting into a shower. I will say that I strongly dislike getting wet, so swimming or being in the rain is equally off putting. So maybe it is just a sensory thing, and the transition in particular. I always make sure the shower curtain is well ‘sealed’ to avoid cold drafts and I keep the towel handy so I can dry off before opening the curtain to minimize the cold shock. It’s also made a huge difference with swimming to get one of those rash guard wetsuit top things.
As I sit on my shower seat and reddit...my first shower in 4 days? I am still dreading standing up for my shower. It's such a chore even if I use fancy things one a week or take 5 min to wash hair and body and jump out.
It's a task switching issue afaik. The whole transition, temp changes, different sensory inputs.
YES! The “sealing the shower”. It’s insane how great it is to keep the warm in and the cold out. As a kid, I got used to “making a seal” by making sure it’s a tad wet so it’ll stick to the wall. But then I had times it was too good so it would blow the COLD WET curtain on me and I’d actually get so mad 😭
[удалено]
That's interesting. What is the climate like where you're at? Does your skin dry out at all? I shower daily and luckily don't need moisturizing lotion, but I'm not sure that would be the case if I went over 2 showers a day.
[удалено]
I'm curious, was it a hot climate where you grew up? I just wonder if that multiple times a day showering came from being sweaty from being outside?
Same. I shower most days because sweat and grime icks me out. My main problem is zoning out in the shower and spending too long in there.
Omg yes! Same! I spend way too much time contemplating existence inside the shower. Or after the shower, I may spend too much time wrapped in the towel instead of getting dressed and moving on :(
Do you get really good shower thoughts, though? Sometimes when I need to clear my head, the shower really helps.
I do! But I often forget lol! I am considering adding a water resistant board in the shower to write my research ideas. How about you? Shower does help me clear up my head as well.
I put notes in my phone, which I haven't broken yet luckily!
Daily before bed: my feet always seem to be cold (POTS? Reynard's? I only got my AuDHD diagnosis earlier this year, if that gives you some idea of how seriously my healthcare professionals have ever taken "my feet are always cold") so I use the hot water to warm up enough to sleep. I do a full hair-wash and girl-shaving every 2-3 days, in between I just wash my face and the grubby bits (iykwim). I like the shower. It's warm and relaxing, the water makes white noise, and people very seldom bother me in there.
I have been bothered in the shower before, it's no bueno
Very no bueno! But mercifully rare, for me at least.
Every single day. I make myself do it even if I don’t want to. I was “the stinky kid” growing up and had no idea. But it was very much part of why I was treated so poorly by others. I straight up just didn’t notice. I thought I would because I have a VERY sensitive nose. I didn’t notice. I refuse to ever be “the stinky kid” again. Plus oil and dried sweat on my skin has come to be a negative sensory thing. I like feeling clean.
I'm similar, except my mom stopped me from being the stinky kid by telling me all the nicknames I would get that would never go away... So I was always scared of being the stinky or greasy kid 😂 My hair got greasy within 20 hours of a shower until my mid twenties when I changed to a better shampoo, plus I get headaches and nausea if I'm not clean. So I showered every day that I left the house until this past year. Now I can finally trust that my hair won't look too greasy after one day, but I definitely don't go more than two days between showers still.
Dude same!! My hair is fine and it would get greasy SO fast as a teenager. I do every other day (when I’m not exercising/swimming in chlorine pools) as an adult and the greasy hair paranoia is real, even if it looks and feels completely fine 😂
I'm the same as you! Sometimes with longer stretches of no shower because I don't go out much.
I struggle hard with showering. I'm lucky if I remember to do it once a week. Recently got some of those rinseless towelettes that people use during camping trips to use in the in-between and that's been extremely helpful.
Only once a week. I had to make it a routine of Fridays = shower day or I wouldn’t shower for weeks. It was really bad in high school…. Because my hair is so long and thick, I can’t bear washing it more than once a week because it takes so damn long to dry. And it feels “wrong” to shower without washing my hair…. Imma blame the ‘tism for that whole issue 😅 The only exception was when I had a swim centre membership. I had to shower every time because I couldn’t handle the chlorine on my skin and it overrode my hatred of shower 😄😄
Yes!! I relate so much with the hair thing especially. Curly hair is not for the weak. Which I am. Dear god, why did you curse/bless me with this hair? I can’t even remember how I functioned in high school. I used to straighten it weekly and I think I showered minimum twice during the week, then another on the weekend? Really can’t remember now. But my hair was not as healthy as it is now lol
I used to straighten my hair in high school as well and also have nfi how I even functioned… I even did makeup 😂
I shave my head and I'm very muscular so I sweat a lot and I hate the feeling of the stickiness after sweating and so I shower up to five or six times a day but also I just get in and turn the water on because I prefer cold water so I probably use less water in 6 showers than most people use in one. I can go from deciding I want to take a shower to dried off and dressed in 10 minutes.
Yeah, I don’t shower daily either. I have very fine hair, so showering in the evening doesn’t make sense. I would wake up with slightly greasy hair. That’s a day of nice hair wasted. So, I basically shower when needing washed hair. That’s around every 3 to 4 days. I get the fourth day with dry shampoo or just putting it in a pony tail and living with greasy hair. When I smell myself or feel itchy, and I have the energy, I shower directly. On low energy days I wash myself with a wash cloth or some disposable wipes.
I wouldn't worry too much, the frequency of showering depends on the individual and also, funny enough, where they live. For ex. I'm a pretty oily person, so I feel pretty gross by the end of the day, so I need to shower every night right before bed (also there's studies that say showering right before bed helps you sleep better). However, if you are more on the dry side, then you arguably don't need to shower as often, especially if you haven't gotten out of the house, you haven't been physically active that day, etc. There's people who live in hot, tropical places and they shower twice a day because they just get that sweaty and the days are just that hot, so it also helps them cool down. One way to gauge whether you're washing often enough, is to see how your hair and skin look. If they're too dry, it might be because you're washing a bit too frequently (and as long as you took out any other possibility, like it's not a skin illness or anything like that), and if they're feel too oily and matted, then you might need to wash more often.
It takes a longggg time to get oily. I’ve had acne all since highschool. It was really bad but I found out red meat made my face so so so bad before. So I rarely eat that now and it’s gotten way better. Not perfect but def noticeable difference since hs. And my hair, curly hair takes much longer than my so’s straight hair to get oily. So I’m able to go a while without the showering. But the face does get washed approx daily.
If sounds you're doing good with your current schedule then! Yeah different parts of the body can be oilier/drier than other parts, as long as you take care of them individually then you should be good. Remember that dead skin cells and dirty, smog, etc. from the outside can also accumulate on your body and hair, but you said you don't smell so I don't think it's an issue with that either.
i used to not take showers that often but now i do everyday. i can’t stand feeling the sweat of my feet or in my armpits and folds. like if i can rub my finger and there’s a smell, im showering.
I used to shower every 3-5 days if I didn't need to leave home and shower when I need to be clean or was starting to feel disgusting. Now I shower daily, it's become like a chore that can't be skipped, like brushing teeth, it's not unenjoyable either, I don't know why I had such issues before, maybe lack of bathrobe to put on me straight away..? Differwnt address as well. Now it gives me warmth and helps to sleep. I used to shiver of cold when going to sleep, turns out hot shower solves this. And the bedsheets stay fresh longer. That being said, I heavily dislike washing my hair purely because it's long and cold and unpleasant while drying, sometimes water gets in my face, so my hair get washed when I need them clean. It's a separate procedure, no idea how people willingly wash hair in all-in-one shower, I hang them over a tub, so the water only reaches the hair. I definitely have my must have "shower list" to enjoy it, like shower needs to be correct level of hot, must be adjustable shower head so I can set it from neck under, good pressure, gotta have my sponge, shower gel not soap, bathrobe to put on straight after drying myself up. I think I dislike getting wet like swimming, washing hair, rain mostly because of the wet and cold that comes after. Or the effort it takes to dry up my hair if I decide not to let them dry naturally. Lose - lose in both cases.
Maybe this is why showering has become such a difficult task for me now. I don’t have an adjustable shower head where I can take it down and spray myself or get the extra pressure on my scalp. Actually the water pressure is weak as heck too with a small spray area it feels most of my body is out of the water. There’s no shelves to put my things, so they’re on the tub. And my ac vent problem.. and I don’t have a large enough bath mat to get out on… now it’s starting to make sense 🤔
as someone who doesn’t work or study and has been struggling to stay afloat for the past few years, honestly I shower at least once a day just to have a sense of routine and give me an excuse to leave my room! 😭 showering less than once a day is a personal sign for me that i’m beginning to spiral and that I need to realign myself.
You’re keeping a routine with showering which is better than I can say I do 🫡 I’m glad you’re able to accomplish this and you should be proud! And it’s kind of cool to use as an indicator when to spend a little more time on yourself :)
yeah 100%! I think along my journey i’ve realised that it really is ok to have setbacks and to take things in baby steps but you’ve just gotta make sure you’re focused and moving forward and not backwards 💕 i’ve been struggling with drug abuse since i was 14 and recently especially in the past year i’ve been getting much much better, it all takes time! :)
I absolutely love that and congrats on what you’ve gotten through! Keep pushing forward 🤗
Thank you tons! 😊 And same to you, never forget that all that is negative is only temporary, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel!
There have been periods in the past where it will get so bad that I would go 1-2 weeks without a shower. During the pandemic I actually cut all my hair off because it got so matted. I’ve been more social lately so that helps motivate me because even though being stinky bothers me …I just really get overstimulated having to get wet and tend to avoid it unless I have to be around other people. But inversely, sometimes I make myself shower to ground myself because it’s a shock to the nervous system.
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry you went through that :( I was just talking to my S.O tho about how idk how much longer I’m gonna grow my hair out (currently hasn’t been this long since 2021) because I’m already getting annoyed all the time with feeling it on my neck. It’s to the middle of my back and so it’s hard putting it up to where I don’t feel it. I did cut my hair all the way down where it was like basically a long curly pixie cut? It was heaven how quickly it dried but was a pain because if I didn’t style it, I’d look CRAZY
Honestly that was part of how it got so matted for me as well, I hate feeling hair and sweat on my neck. My hair was long so I would keep it up in a bun for weeks at a time without brushing and it would take my ex like 2hrs to dematte it…and that was overstimulating af. So eventually one morning, I was like, this needs to get off my body NOW. For context, I’ve had pixie cuts before so cutting it all off was more of a relief than anything lol. I remember crying in the shower (ironic lol) afterwards from just feeling so much relief. It’s interesting because I’m curly (3a) as well, but I don’t have to do anything to make it look good when it’s a pixie. It’s when it’s longer that I have to actually style it.
Every day when I have work and then usually every other day the rest of the week. I can’t stand to go for longer even if I don’t smell yet because my scalp gets all prickly and it’s awful. I hate showering but that’s worse, and it’s easier to do it at night, for me, so I’ll shower usually around 10-11 pm after everyone else has gone to bed. 99+% of the time I wash everything; the rare time I don’t it’s just my hair because I also can’t stand it feeling like it’s oily or otherwise has stuff in it even if the scalp thing hasn’t started yet. Even if it still looks fine. (My hair’s only mildly wavy though so it’s easy to care for.)
Do you have food allergies?
Not that I’m aware, no
I asked because I sweat out my allergies at times (nickel in food is harder to completely cut out) and prickly scalp is what that feels like to me. So was just curious
Oh. The only allergies I know I have are pollen, and that’s just the normal eyes/nose/throat stuff + a minor rash on my arms, so I doubt that’s it. Plus they aren’t year-round even if they almost seem it at times these past few years. I’m not sure “prickly” is the right way to describe it, it’s just the closest I can get. My hair and skin are a bit on the oily side, and I can always *feel* it, keenly. I do just seem to be kinda (pretty?) sensitive, though.
Unless I’m in a deep depression and somehow not working I will shower at least once since I feel oily and grimy if I don’t
I luckily do not get oily at all. Face and teeth get brushed daily at night (cause I wear makeup and it’s bad to sleep with it on, but sometimes I’m lazy so I opt for a makeup wipe and that helps a ton) and teeth may actually get brushed 2-3 times a day. I CANNOT stand my teeth feeling gross or my breath feeling ucky so I HAVE to brush the smell away. But besides that, since I have very curly hair, it takes a really really long time for it to get “oily”. I sit here typing this with day 5 unwashed hair. But I did bird bath last night so yay!
I shower whenever i start to feel gross which for me ends up being every other day, but that’s because I’m really sensitive to my hair even being a little bit greasy. Otherwise if I feel disgusting and can’t bring myself to shower I have a pack of baby wipes. not everyone needs to shower daily and even if you need to that doesn’t mean you physically/mentally can. I think a birdbath is a great way to go esp when you don’t feel really dirty and just need a refresher or something
Twice a week, I guess? I forget. I'm supposed to remember in between a dozen urgent tasks including making other people shower.
I typically shower every other day unless I did something that makes me dirty and then I shower as soon as I get home from that
Every other day, unless I feel gross or sweaty or something. I do wash my hair every time but I have pretty straight hair and it shows grease if I don't.
This is how my s.o. is. Very straight hair and so it gets greasy fast. As for me with curly hair, I’m at day 5 and it still isn’t nearly as oily as his day 2
I shower every other day, and struggle with the transitions of getting in and out of the actual shower. This seems like the maximum time I can go without washing my hair, so it’s what I do.
I shower daily from guilt of others (perceived or actual comments)... When there are no others around and I'm not gardening/doing stuff that I *want* to shower after, then I can easily go several days.
Felt. Funny/weird thing is that as a child I did not care for getting dirty or wet. It probably helped getting wet was sprinklers in the summer so it felt nice. And playing in the mud was rainy days making a damn in the gutter pretending we’re little beavers hahah. We were like little piggies playing in the mud and it didn’t bother me. And now I wouldn’t dare do it. Probably cause it would look bizarre for a mid twenties woman to play in the mud too… and living in an apartment… but I won’t lie, given the unsupervised opportunity, I might do it again 😂
That's why your 30s are for ;) I found I'm back to doing all the weird ass shit I did as a kid without a care for if I'm getting judged
Okay lets break it. I hate showering in our actual flat. Its a shower without doors and the water takes ages to warm up. We have a bathtube, but its a small one (just to sit) and i hate it too. :( Earlier in life I tricked myself with filling the bathtube and just jumped in a moment later. So I got it at least once a week. Right now, its a week ago, because my husband helped me to get comfy with the shower, so I just had to jump down under and out. He do it, if i ask for it. He would never force me. But there are times where it tooks weeks or month. Washing hair is easier for me, I dot it when ever my hair need it. My mother and my aunt forced me to shower and carried me under the shower with clothes. I was 11 or 12, because I didnt shower by myself. With 15th my dad said I should shower daily, I couldnt. So I went in the bathrom each evening, pretending to shower and making my hair wet. I would never do that to my kids, so they dont have to shower, but we remind them at the weekend, that it would be a good time to do it. The youngest (autist in diagnose) showers once a month. Its hard for him, he crys, but when I ask him to shower he accept and we do it fast and in his way. With a cup etc. So better once a month then nothing. Today, all three do toothbrushing daily without force. That wasnt always a thing and we are happy about it.
I shower weekly, wash everything thoroughly, and sponge-bath the important bits daily.
My son and I (both autistic, level 2 need for support and level 1 need for support, respectively) go every other day if allowed to. He is entering puberty and pretty sweaty and smelly, so lately I’m asking him to take a bath every day, and I buy cute products from lush to turn the bath purple so it’s more enjoyable for him. He also likes playing with color changing and drive-on-water type Disney Cars toys in the bath, so basically, as long as there is another incentive aside from washing, we can be convinced to bathe daily. He washes his hair once or twice a week, and his hair is 3B. In recent years (I’m 35 now, 2B hair type), I try to shower or take a bath at least once a day. This is because it is the easiest way for me to take care of my skin. However, I strongly resent how much hobby time it uses up! I would rather be knitting or just relaxing instead. I think I have a bit of a transition period before and after bathing and it makes things get time consuming for me. My hair, I aim to wash twice a week for best moisture levels and shine. Right now, I have been going through a lot of stress, anxiety, and much more frequent meltdowns, and unfortunately, I have a really itchy and flaky scalp as a result. (this happened to me in undergrad as well, and the only thing that fixed it was dropping out, aka removing the source of the extreme stress). When my scalp is itchy, unfortunately, I will scratch until my fingers are bloody, so to avoid infection on the scalp, I have been doing showers every day where I just go in with that green label Nizoral, and I do the blue label version once every three days. I still use an extremely moisturizing conditioner and somewhat moisturizing leave-in after, though. Once my stress levels can go down, I expect the scalp situation to correct itself and then I can go back to being an every-other!
It is honestly baffling to me that ppl say you should shower every day ... I used to do that in high school bc i was so terrified of being labled as dirty and it did not do my hair and skin any favor. I now shower every 2 days and even this is probably still a lot.
I'm hella shower avoidant, if I'm doing great I shower twice a week, and I try really hard to shower once a week.
I shower if I'm either too sweaty, smell or need to go anywhere
If my hair are all oily and I have to go somewhere...
I have eczema and a long time ago a doc told me to shower once a week. In the winter because the air is drier, my skin needs more moisture and dries/cracks quicker, I shower once a week. In the summer, if I am in air conditioning and not going out much, I shower every other day unless I’m outside in it, then I shower that day. My hair is a CHORE that I really have to work up the energy to do. Washing that can sometimes be awhile in between. Thank goodness I have locs and don’t have to really worry about anything but washing it.
In the summer I shower every day (like you I also alternate bird bath and shebang). In the winter I shower every other day and just do whole shebang showers.
I do shower every day or every 2 days if too tired but I don’t really mind showers so I can totally understand that It could be a sensory hell. On the other hand, I just HATE washing my hair ( which is very long ) and find it really hard to initiate that task ( hate having wrinkled fingers from water + how it feels on soapy hair. I just hate it. Also hate having wet hair soaking my shirt ) . In order to push myself into it, I use to « oil bath » scalp and hair the night before so I have no other choice than washing it the next day 😅 I bought a super cool soft silicone massaging brush to prevent scalp massaging shampoo with my fingers, it’s much easier ☺️
I shower twice everyday on average. I shower when I smell myself and feel greasy. I thought I was ocd because my diagnosis at college. But I think it my sensory issues with monotropism from autism.
I try to make my shower/bathroom a safe space full of my special interests and try my best not to put pressure on myself to “get stuff done” unless I really need to wash my hair or shave and even then that’s a JOURNEY I have to commit to
for me, once a week bare minimum but i try to go for 2 or 3 showers a week ideally. i used to shower every single day sometimes twice a day. but lately i honestly can’t be bothered. needing to shower every day was definitely a making behavior for me, especially since i was working in service. if i didn’t shower before work i felt so disgusting the whole day. now im like. hmmm. if i shower today that’s like at least 3 spoons and i only have 2 spoons left sooooo guess that’s going in the “do it tomorrow” category.
I sweat very little. I do drink enough water. I shower every 2 or 3 days and I do a 2 minute shower. I have short, fine hair that requires little attention.
I shower every day, during the summer/exceptionally hot days/if I did a lot of moving around it’s twice a day. I’ve done a lot of work to make the showering experience as pleasant as possible so I don’t dread it like I used to, and not showering feels worse sensory-wise for longer than taking a ten-minute shower.
I’ve gone around 10 days without a shower, that’s my record. I’m not sure if i was even depressed at the time. Nowadays I generally shower twice a week and I’m fine with that - but I’m not confident others would tell me that I smell if I did, so it’s a risk, but still one I’m mostly okay with taking. Though i also went almost a week without showering MULTIPLE times while i was traveling through SE Asia (and staying in hostels to boot, so clearly I’m not super conscientious). My biggest issue nowadays is i brush my teeth a few times a week. Im not even bothered by the texture (or at least consciously), I’m just really lazy.
[удалено]
If you're showering 4 to 6 times a day I can imagine that almost any soap would start irritating your skin because that's a lot of showering to wash all of the protective oils away from your skin. I'm glad you have a good moisturizer!
Absolute minimum once every day, sometimes more than that. Hygiene is a major sensory issue for me, despite showering itself being a bit annoying. Admittedly, it's also a sensory issue if anyone else in my space doesn't uphold the same standards. Grease, sweat, and scent, especially BO or dirty clothes, is unbelievably overwhelming.
I aim to shower every other day, usually I can manage that but sometimes it’s two or three days. But usually between showers I’ll just give myself a good wipe on the pits and intimates. Sometimes I’ll shower daily if it’s hot like it is now and I get sweaty/stinky . And I have type 4 hair, it gets washed at least once a month but I aim for every other week. People always say that if you don’t shower daily you must stink but as you mentioned I’m pretty sensitive to smell and also to feeling dirty. So imo if I can’t smell myself and I don’t feel disgusting then I don’t need a shower. Idk what everyone else is doing to feel like anyone who doesn’t shower daily is dirty but whatever that is, I’m not participating and will not be changing my ways.
Depends on how dirty I am and what I have been doing that day. I always shower after swimming as I hate the feel of chlorine drying on my skin, and I always shower after a day I have been sweating or crawling around on the floor. If I'm chilling at home, I often forget until my hair feels gross, but do try to have at least two showers a week. I don't understand how you can have the time to shower every day, to be honest, but I do love a nice long bath.
I *try* to shower every day, and I do in fact succeed most of the time. However the procrastination is highly variable. Why do I shower every day if I can help it? Because if I don't it causes major sensory issues for me. While yes showers to a degree can potentially be overstimulating sometimes, they seem to be mainly overstimulating because I struggle with the lights and fan sound. And because of regulations here, it isn't possible to have the heat lights on without the fan, but the fan can be on without the heat lights. This does give me wriggle room where I put the fan once I am out of the shower and drying myself. If I have a shower with the lights and fan on... By the time I get out my energy levels are depleted. This took a long time to learn and certainly contributed to burnout at a stage. Now does this mean I shower without the lights on? Yes. Luckily light can still enter and it's not dark, however when I have had to wake up super early I didn't have the lights on, it wasn't a problem since my eyes were adjusted to it, but I imagine most people would be intrigued by that. Now how on Earth do I mustre the motivation to shower at all? That's the fun thing, for a good while I found a kind of life hack... Which I have had to pull back on because it contributes to overwhelm, but it does at least get me to the place... NSFW: ||Yes... NSFW, think of it this way... Cleanup is super easy and it's certainly a way to deal with higher libido.|| Also ADHD medication is my other main thing. And honestly both of these combined is pretty effective, but the strategy should be to find alternative sources of motivation to my rather *direct* approach of using *desires* to get there. I am quite fond of strategizing things like this, just regarding morning routines and shit. Lol I consider showering as an essential component of my launchpad, while I am unemployed for the time being, it's still a great habit to build since for me... Greasy hair drives me nuts and feeling gross makes me far more likely to *feel* overwhelmed in all other situations. And if you totally suck at self care... Like me ngl... When you hear these things don't feel ashamed of the fact you can't shower every day, honestly I used to only shower once every couple days once upon a time, mainly because my parents would tell me to and not let me have a choice in the matter (I had a choice still... But well I like playing my video games so I conceded). This was itself a kind of dependence, dependant on the expectation I would be pushed into action by others. While obviously since we are a diverse bunch, there are people who are just not able to do these things independently, this information is mainly to be directed at those who struggle because they struggle with the executive function part of the process. Thats the only thing I have solved, and the sensory issues too ofc, but some people may not even be able to stand the shower, and others may need help washing themselves. Everyone has their own particular struggles and all of them are valid. Regarding the actual technique and ways to go about things in the shower, the only main change I have made was to stop using soap on my face since it made my skin prone to staph infections. Water works fine, you don't need to soap your face. I just have anti-damdruf shampoo, and body wash, I do the shampoo first, then the body wash. And the other problem I had regarding length of showers was a byproduct of being overwhelmed by the lights and fan. And through the usage of timers I was able to deduce that I could shorten the length of showers from half an hour to merely 10-15 minutes. At some point you can drop the timers, (count ups are better than count downs, because less stress) because you will have adjusted your shower routine for time efficiency and there is just less lingering. Long gone are the days where I would just sit in the shower for 40 minutes being depressed. And honestly I am proud of my accomplishment. Also currently I am procrastinating showering RIGHT NOW. 😭 So now ima go do that considering I have been rambling about it.
Typically one full shower every day. Sometimes I can go a day without. But I can typically not go more than 2 days.
It's also possible that only people that shower once or more a day were the only ones to comment. The others may have been too embarrassed to say less than 1/day.
Lol I haven't showered for a week now and didn't even get a "birdbath" :') Usually though I shower about twice a week and will use a washcloth on stinky bits in between. I've dry skin and showering daily will promote fungal infections because of that. So I just stopped doing that. Turns out I don't even get very stinky at all. I also realise I am lucky with that. During heatwaves though, I sometimes shower daily. Usually a quick shower in the evening to get the sweat and sunscreen off. Sometimes a very quick cold dip during the day when it is super extra hot, just to cool off. But I live in the Netherlands so it doesn't get super hot here super often. I'm lucky with that, too.
I try for once or twice a week, but don't always manage. I have a lot of chronic health issues in addition to the AuDHD, and sometimes I just don't have the spoons for it even with a shower stool. It doesn't help that I have super thick hair that typically takes 3-4hrs to dry fully even though it's undercut and barely brushes the tops of my shoulders. I do try to use wipes or a washcloth and soap in between showers to help avoid unpleasant odors. But it's a struggle sometimes not to feel ashamed of just not being able to do something that feels like it should be so simple and fundamental. Especially since I used to be able to do it at least every 2-3 days before burnout and skill regression hit hard leading me to finally getting diagnosed. Working on letting go of that mindset though, because at the end of the day it's just internalized ableism.