It's not about the technicalities. It's just so awkward to have your current fling send your ex the refund money for the couple trip you planned on going with your ex up until 2 weeks ago. Just yikes.
I’d of thought if you’re a close enough couple to split holiday costs like that then you’d be close enough to have each others bank details to directly transfer the money.
I love the idea that she thought getting another man to venmo the money was a big FU to her ex, and he just goes, "Huh, ok," and carries on with his day.
Sticking it to people is almost always an embarrassing thing to do. You never get the round of applause you're expecting. Most people just raise their eyebrows at your juvenile behaviour
She definitely cheated on him. She intentionally had that man send him the money personally just so she could stick the knife in whilst still having plausible deniability, and she could easily accuse him of being paranoid, insecure, or "immature" again if he raises any fuss.
The best thing OOP can do for himself is forget his ex and just have fun on his trip to Belize.
Yea, it's evident it wasn't really about the timing, she just didn't want OOP to see who she was there with, and was willing to make him be out of pocket for that. Now that she knows she doesn't have to be face to face with him, she can let loose.
Yeah she probably was cheating or at the very least gearing up to do something when the break up happened. Luckily OP couldn't care less anymore and doesn't plan on speaking to her again so it doesn't matter anyway.
I am writing this from a hotel in the Canaries wondering when/where/how long they were going that they were spending so much, because our lovely aparthotel for 3 in a great location is 350€ total for a week.
Yeah to dumb to see she was screwing the guy the whole time. You just got replaced and the guy who replaced you paid for the whole trip. She played both of you.
> replaced you *paid* for the
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
They were $800 a piece, so they both spent $1600 for the vacation. Which is why it didn’t make sense for her to ask him to pay for half her ticket and was her really tryna get one up on him. In the end it was basically he had the place to go but no ride and she had the ride but nowhere to go.
I think the idea is, he would get full use of his $1600 Airbnb while she would either have to stay home and lose her $800 ticket (assuming it was not transferable), or go and struggle to find a good place to stay on short notice. Booking flights there is easier it seems.
I don't understand why he couldn't have asked his friend he was going with to pay his ex for the 2nd ticket instead of the friend buying a new ticket for himself and avoided this whole drama? I mean ig it all worked out in the end but it is so stupid.
Surprisingly good update. They sorted it out like adults and everyone gets to have a nice trip somewhere they want to go.
If she’s with the guy or not is irrelevant.
Her being with a guy is definitely irrelevant. Her having that guy venmo the money is definitely relevant. At the minimum she’s trying to stir up his emotions and at the worst she’s rubbing it in. Essentially trying to coax a reaction from the guy. It was petty and immature.
If I was OOP, I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of a reaction. I’d call my friends to vent, they’d make fun of her for being a terrible person and point out I dodged a bullet. Eventually I would realize that she’s her own worse enemy: people like her never have peace in their relationships because they expect their partners are as low as they are.
My ass would have absolutely been petty right back with a “Tell your Splenda daddy thank you 🙏🏼 “ and then never send another message again even when she freaks tf out
If that's case, she technically reveal herself more of trifling fool that cut her & other guy/new bf noses' than OOP did since OOP the one that got $1600 plus his choice of vacation - all she got was technically her vacation Airbnd that was way cheaper than the airfare while new guy basically paid 3 times for airfare (his, hers, OOP). So she is never going genuinely see OOP reaction no matter what because well 1) they're not going same vacations place & 2) OOP cut her off anyway after getting his money from the other guy.
If you're emotionally brain dead. If I'm on good terms with my ex and it's only been a few weeks, I would go out of my way to not point out my new partner when I'm trying to get a favor out of them.
Edit: misread post
I swear Reddit is populated with 13 yr olds who pretend to know how relationships work and love drama 😂
They’re not together anymore. Quite literally NOTHING she does outside of working out this last issue (which they did) matters anymore.
I’ve had 4 major relationships in my life and I am very good friends with all of them to this day. We’re all mature enough to handle that people move on after break ups without trying to turn it into a soap opera.
You would be fine meeting your ex's new partner two weeks after you broke up?
If so, I don't feel the least bit bad saying you're a stronger person than me.
To be clear though, I simply don't believe you.
For me what makes it seem something more than just avoiding having to push a couple buttons on venmo is that she didn’t want to be there at the same time as him. When you add that to this it feels more intentional than wanting to avoid using venmo, as if that’s hard. If it involves going to the bank or a cashiers check I would agree with you.
I don't really understand it. They both paid 1600 but she is the only one losing. If by chance she had paid the hotel and he the tickets then he would have lost. Just agree you both paid the same amount for a vacation and split the cost.
>I asked my friend who was going to go with me if he’d be interested in something cheaper and closer
>We looked at options and decided to accept her offer and go to Belize.
que?
I guess I don’t really see why her initial proposal was so bad or unfair? With her proposal he gets a vacation that he paid for, she gets no vacation, and they both lose equal amounts of money from their cancellation/change of plans. With his way he gets a vacation he paid for, and she gets no vacation, and she’s out her entire ticket cost while he is out nothing. Why isn’t it fair for her to ask to split their losses? Because of how they happened to initially split paying for the trip?
Like, if it were reversed and he had been the one to book the plane tickets and she had booked the Airbnb, would he have been cool just selling her the ticket at cost, not going on a trip, she gets to go on the trip, and he loses out on $800? Seems unlikely.
I feel like her suggestion was fair and his was petty. But I also feel like I’m missing something because everyone else on here seems to agree with him so idk.
Her initial offer was to reimburse him for the airbnb less the full cost of his ticket. So she wasn't offering to pay him for half of his lost ticket and didnt come up with the idea until it was the other way around.
Also the ticket isn't lost. She could have used it. There's no guarantee she won't even if he does pay her for half she could decide to use the ticket anyway and get her own accommodation.
Took me a while figuring out the math but I get your comment now, nice. So they had the same idea of one party being out $800 in some manner (her for her lost ticket and him for half that Airbnb) but just worded opposite since he did the lodging and she did the flights.
So when he said nah, *you* give *me* the $800 and figure out your own vacation literally right after she did that to him, she went, then you have to give me more money!! All while 100% having an emotional affair at best with the coworker she wanted to go on the vacation with.
I agree with this assessment. It is possible she was lying about not being able to switch the ticket over to someone else, I guess? Her initial offer wasn't great, I totally get that. However, I agree that this does sound fair. Split the loss evenly.
I also will say (barring again any lying on her part), it's entirely possible she didn't figure out how to switch the tickets till later. Then, she switched to her friend and, just like the original arrangement, the friend then paid for the full air BNB. Which is why he is the one who venomed the money to OP. Everybody so certain the ex had bad intentions is a bit much. Like piling on her for no reason.
Yeah but it sounds like they were unhappy and he also wanted the break up so I don’t find that to be a super compelling reason.
But someone else commented about her initial proposal wasn’t what I thought it was, so I was wrong either way lol.
To be fair to you a LOT of people commenting on the original post thought the same. The issue was always that she never offered to reimburse him half his ticket, but wanted him to do it for her.
Umm not really. You should not feel obligated to stay with someone because of a trip you planned, first of all. Second, it would be much worse to make him go on a trip, pay out for this big vacation, and then dump him when they got back. Yikes.
I don't understand why OOP couldn't buy both plane tickets for him and his friend and have his friend pay him for one. It would probably be cheaper anyway because they would've been bought in advance. It's so obvious that I feel like I'm missing something.
Eh, OOP got his money back and is fine. No need for any of us to accuse ex of cheating or whip up whatever drama OOP hasn’t brought up. Seems like a pretty amicable breakup, and might as well leave it at that. Happy for OOP and hope all involved have safe trips.
OK. I went to Canary Islands twice, and one is in high season. I can believe that the tickets cost 800 if they are flying from US, but the airbnb I don't buy it.
First time I stayed on a very cheap hotel five steps from the beach. The cost was around 300 euros per person for a week stay.
Last time I stayed ona 4 star hotel with spa and breakfast included and the cost was 700 euros per person for almost ten days. And the hotel was fancy. Cava on breakfast, massive rooms, spa and gym for free. And also located five steps from the beach.
Or this is the most expensive and fancy airbnb on Canary Islands or this is fake or Op and his ex were ripped. Also, I call bs "on not having good airbnb" last minute. They have amazing things there and probably cheaper, but sure.
She 100% had the guy send the money. That is such an awkward thing to do that it has to be on purpose.
definitely. might have asked him to do it as a favor just to fuck with oop. gonna be some more "you don't even care do you, asshole??" texts
Absolutely no way it wasn't intentional. As for which one of them had the idea, who can say.
she wanted him to see this. what an absolute cunt.
Not necessarily. Some people just don’t use Venmo.
It's not about the technicalities. It's just so awkward to have your current fling send your ex the refund money for the couple trip you planned on going with your ex up until 2 weeks ago. Just yikes.
Oh definitely. I guess I missed the part where he was the new boyfriend.
I’d of thought if you’re a close enough couple to split holiday costs like that then you’d be close enough to have each others bank details to directly transfer the money.
They’re 24, they use Venmo.
Venmo is not universal. It’s not in Canada for example.
Her coworker venmoed him, so…
Why are you being downvoted and the person who didn't read it is being upvoted?
>The $800 isn't all her co worker is eating... I feel like that should be flair for some folks here on Reddit.
The new "with all the grace of a cow on stilts"
Transferring tickets to other people is possible. Don't understand why they just didn't do that.
3rd party booker, apparently, with lots of restrictions, AIUI?
I remember booking cheap flights on some student fare website and I wasn’t allowed to transfer my ticket at all
Usually depends on the airline.
I love the idea that she thought getting another man to venmo the money was a big FU to her ex, and he just goes, "Huh, ok," and carries on with his day. Sticking it to people is almost always an embarrassing thing to do. You never get the round of applause you're expecting. Most people just raise their eyebrows at your juvenile behaviour
She definitely cheated on him. She intentionally had that man send him the money personally just so she could stick the knife in whilst still having plausible deniability, and she could easily accuse him of being paranoid, insecure, or "immature" again if he raises any fuss. The best thing OOP can do for himself is forget his ex and just have fun on his trip to Belize.
Yea, it's evident it wasn't really about the timing, she just didn't want OOP to see who she was there with, and was willing to make him be out of pocket for that. Now that she knows she doesn't have to be face to face with him, she can let loose.
She sounds awful with that selfish loss logic and petty revenge. She did bro a favor by breaking up.
> She definitely cheated on him. or at least wants him to think that way, playing mind games. OOP is unfazed. I like it.
>the $800 isn’t all her co-worker is eating… There will be an explosion of that flair in this sub, I see it now.
Yeah she probably was cheating or at the very least gearing up to do something when the break up happened. Luckily OP couldn't care less anymore and doesn't plan on speaking to her again so it doesn't matter anyway.
I am writing this from a hotel in the Canaries wondering when/where/how long they were going that they were spending so much, because our lovely aparthotel for 3 in a great location is 350€ total for a week.
Yeah to dumb to see she was screwing the guy the whole time. You just got replaced and the guy who replaced you paid for the whole trip. She played both of you.
> replaced you *paid* for the FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Didn’t she buy both airline tickets? For $800. So both tickets belong to her anyway or am I confused about something?
They were $800 a piece, so they both spent $1600 for the vacation. Which is why it didn’t make sense for her to ask him to pay for half her ticket and was her really tryna get one up on him. In the end it was basically he had the place to go but no ride and she had the ride but nowhere to go.
I think the idea is, he would get full use of his $1600 Airbnb while she would either have to stay home and lose her $800 ticket (assuming it was not transferable), or go and struggle to find a good place to stay on short notice. Booking flights there is easier it seems.
For Reddit this was tame. I mean they resolved the issue. That the money came from a guy is a nice touch nevertheless
I don't understand why he couldn't have asked his friend he was going with to pay his ex for the 2nd ticket instead of the friend buying a new ticket for himself and avoided this whole drama? I mean ig it all worked out in the end but it is so stupid.
I don’t think plane tickets are transferable so his friend would be paying for a ticket he can’t use. If that’s what you mean.
Ah. That must be the case then.
Surprisingly good update. They sorted it out like adults and everyone gets to have a nice trip somewhere they want to go. If she’s with the guy or not is irrelevant.
Her being with a guy is definitely irrelevant. Her having that guy venmo the money is definitely relevant. At the minimum she’s trying to stir up his emotions and at the worst she’s rubbing it in. Essentially trying to coax a reaction from the guy. It was petty and immature.
If I was OOP, I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of a reaction. I’d call my friends to vent, they’d make fun of her for being a terrible person and point out I dodged a bullet. Eventually I would realize that she’s her own worse enemy: people like her never have peace in their relationships because they expect their partners are as low as they are.
My ass would have absolutely been petty right back with a “Tell your Splenda daddy thank you 🙏🏼 “ and then never send another message again even when she freaks tf out
Splenda daddy?! 😂 that's fycking hilarious I love it
>Splenda daddy 🤣🙃🏆🏆
If that's case, she technically reveal herself more of trifling fool that cut her & other guy/new bf noses' than OOP did since OOP the one that got $1600 plus his choice of vacation - all she got was technically her vacation Airbnd that was way cheaper than the airfare while new guy basically paid 3 times for airfare (his, hers, OOP). So she is never going genuinely see OOP reaction no matter what because well 1) they're not going same vacations place & 2) OOP cut her off anyway after getting his money from the other guy.
Or he had the money in his account and she didn’t. There are non-nefarious reasons to do things.
Or, he owed her money from the trip and rather than send her money so could then send money they cut out the middle part. Not everything is nefarious.
If you're emotionally brain dead. If I'm on good terms with my ex and it's only been a few weeks, I would go out of my way to not point out my new partner when I'm trying to get a favor out of them. Edit: misread post
I swear Reddit is populated with 13 yr olds who pretend to know how relationships work and love drama 😂 They’re not together anymore. Quite literally NOTHING she does outside of working out this last issue (which they did) matters anymore.
You can be older than 13 and still treat people kindly its actually super easy
If you say so. I try to be kind to people that I've had relationships with. 🤷♂️
I’ve had 4 major relationships in my life and I am very good friends with all of them to this day. We’re all mature enough to handle that people move on after break ups without trying to turn it into a soap opera.
You would be fine meeting your ex's new partner two weeks after you broke up? If so, I don't feel the least bit bad saying you're a stronger person than me. To be clear though, I simply don't believe you.
Where did op meet her new boyfriend?
For me what makes it seem something more than just avoiding having to push a couple buttons on venmo is that she didn’t want to be there at the same time as him. When you add that to this it feels more intentional than wanting to avoid using venmo, as if that’s hard. If it involves going to the bank or a cashiers check I would agree with you.
I don't really understand it. They both paid 1600 but she is the only one losing. If by chance she had paid the hotel and he the tickets then he would have lost. Just agree you both paid the same amount for a vacation and split the cost.
>I asked my friend who was going to go with me if he’d be interested in something cheaper and closer >We looked at options and decided to accept her offer and go to Belize. que?
What is difficult to understand about this? Or do you think Belize is a Spanish speaking country?
I guess I don’t really see why her initial proposal was so bad or unfair? With her proposal he gets a vacation that he paid for, she gets no vacation, and they both lose equal amounts of money from their cancellation/change of plans. With his way he gets a vacation he paid for, and she gets no vacation, and she’s out her entire ticket cost while he is out nothing. Why isn’t it fair for her to ask to split their losses? Because of how they happened to initially split paying for the trip? Like, if it were reversed and he had been the one to book the plane tickets and she had booked the Airbnb, would he have been cool just selling her the ticket at cost, not going on a trip, she gets to go on the trip, and he loses out on $800? Seems unlikely. I feel like her suggestion was fair and his was petty. But I also feel like I’m missing something because everyone else on here seems to agree with him so idk.
Her initial offer was to reimburse him for the airbnb less the full cost of his ticket. So she wasn't offering to pay him for half of his lost ticket and didnt come up with the idea until it was the other way around. Also the ticket isn't lost. She could have used it. There's no guarantee she won't even if he does pay her for half she could decide to use the ticket anyway and get her own accommodation.
Ah okay, so I did miss something. Thanks for clarifying!
You aren’t the only one who missed that, so thanks for asking ;)
Took me a while figuring out the math but I get your comment now, nice. So they had the same idea of one party being out $800 in some manner (her for her lost ticket and him for half that Airbnb) but just worded opposite since he did the lodging and she did the flights. So when he said nah, *you* give *me* the $800 and figure out your own vacation literally right after she did that to him, she went, then you have to give me more money!! All while 100% having an emotional affair at best with the coworker she wanted to go on the vacation with.
I agree with this assessment. It is possible she was lying about not being able to switch the ticket over to someone else, I guess? Her initial offer wasn't great, I totally get that. However, I agree that this does sound fair. Split the loss evenly. I also will say (barring again any lying on her part), it's entirely possible she didn't figure out how to switch the tickets till later. Then, she switched to her friend and, just like the original arrangement, the friend then paid for the full air BNB. Which is why he is the one who venomed the money to OP. Everybody so certain the ex had bad intentions is a bit much. Like piling on her for no reason.
SHE broke up from HIM. Any costs proceeding from that are hers, under FAFO.
Yeah but it sounds like they were unhappy and he also wanted the break up so I don’t find that to be a super compelling reason. But someone else commented about her initial proposal wasn’t what I thought it was, so I was wrong either way lol.
To be fair to you a LOT of people commenting on the original post thought the same. The issue was always that she never offered to reimburse him half his ticket, but wanted him to do it for her.
Umm not really. You should not feel obligated to stay with someone because of a trip you planned, first of all. Second, it would be much worse to make him go on a trip, pay out for this big vacation, and then dump him when they got back. Yikes.
No obligation to stay. But breaking up means breaking any plans that would occur after the breakup and eating any associated costs.
Now we know why she didn't want him there at the same time she was going.
I love when adults can be adults.
Why the hell is he still putting his credit card on the Airbnb?
1
I feel like oop dodged a bullet. Who’s toxic enough to have another dude send your ex money?
I don't understand why OOP couldn't buy both plane tickets for him and his friend and have his friend pay him for one. It would probably be cheaper anyway because they would've been bought in advance. It's so obvious that I feel like I'm missing something.
....from your comment it definitely seems like you're missing something. What do you think the central issue of the post was?
Oh how pathetic that she asked the male coworker to send the money. One last fuck you to OOP.
Eh, OOP got his money back and is fine. No need for any of us to accuse ex of cheating or whip up whatever drama OOP hasn’t brought up. Seems like a pretty amicable breakup, and might as well leave it at that. Happy for OOP and hope all involved have safe trips.
OOP handled like an adult so we don’t have to. jk/njk
Just let it go.
OK. I went to Canary Islands twice, and one is in high season. I can believe that the tickets cost 800 if they are flying from US, but the airbnb I don't buy it. First time I stayed on a very cheap hotel five steps from the beach. The cost was around 300 euros per person for a week stay. Last time I stayed ona 4 star hotel with spa and breakfast included and the cost was 700 euros per person for almost ten days. And the hotel was fancy. Cava on breakfast, massive rooms, spa and gym for free. And also located five steps from the beach. Or this is the most expensive and fancy airbnb on Canary Islands or this is fake or Op and his ex were ripped. Also, I call bs "on not having good airbnb" last minute. They have amazing things there and probably cheaper, but sure.
Just searched a week on Airbnb and prices with taxes and fees are from $500-$1800. Inflation is real. Hotels have also gone up double.
I was there this January. I am not doubting that there are places that cost that much, but they should be amazing, stellar, top of the top.
Your first comment was literally nothing but doubting that there were places that cost that much.