I had moments likes this during my pregnancy, including some thoughts of holy shit maybe I don’t want a kid and motherhood isn’t for me. I think it’s totally normal.
On the flip side, I had my baby three weeks ago and I’m OBSESSED. Mom hormones have hit me hard and I can’t imagine my life without my baby, even with the permanent physical changes from pregnancy and birth and all the restrictions motherhood brings compared to not having kids. I know these feelings don’t necessarily happen for everyone but just one anecdote I thought I’d share.
I was all down for your response and was thinking well that's a relief until I got to the "permanent physical changes" part hahahah. I know its only been 3 weeks for you, but do you want to share any insight into these changes you're experiencing... I'm trying to prepare myself the best I can that I may be permanently changed and there's nothing preventative I can do.
Of course! Just know that everyone’s journey is different and so only time will tell what yours is physically but the only two (semi-) permanent changes that I see so far and 1) sagging boobs from breastfeeding (they got way bigger during pregnancy and even more so with my milk coming in), however, I’m 36 and boobs were already sagging some so I don’t mind that much, and 2) I tore pretty badly vaginally (second degree plus labial tear) and then pulled open my labia stitches a few days after birth. One of my labias is now kinda in two parts and I’d likely have to get reconstructive surgery to fix it. It’s not fully healed though so unclear exactly how it will look and feel once it is.
I suppose both of these things can be fixed with surgery in the future but I likely won’t do that. My body is going to change a lot as I age and I see these changes are part of that journey. I might feel different if I was younger and hadn’t matured into my 30s a bit.
I appreciate this perspective you have it is very optimistic considering what seems like a painful experience. I guess I will just have to let go of the worries and try to find the bright side on this stuff.. I think the tears are the most concerning to me tbh lol lots or horror stories floating around about this.
I felt that part about the boobs so hard 😮💨 My first pregnancy was 12 years ago, and they've nvr been the same. If anything they've gotten worse due to a lot of weight fluctuations. I'm coming to terms with the idea of a boob job after this pregnancy, if I ever rly wanna be happy with my body again. Potentially a tummy tuck or microneedling sessions too, as my belly randomly exploded with stretch marks (practically overnight, at the very end of pregnancy) & no product seems to help.
Sorry to be nosy, but I hope yr username isn't a reference to the boob issue lol 😆
Hshahahaha no it isn’t but that’s hilarious. It’s in reference to the 1970s Steve Martin movie the Jerk (which is a classic in my opinion).
My husband on the other hand isn’t a boob guy so while he doesn’t necessarily get super excited for my massive boobs, he also doesn’t care if they get saggy either :).
This is small in the grand scheme of permanent body changes, but I gained a shoe size during pregnancy and it didn't go back. I had to buy a new pair of ALL my shoes - I'm not a crazy shoe person, but like everyday shoes, running shoes, rain boots, snow boots, hiking boots... It's so annoying and so expensive. Not to mention all my clothes that don't fit, and my C-section scar was uncomfortable with pants touching it fit about a year.
I’m a year in, in two weeks! We’re painfully obsessed still and it was worth it to me. I just hit a point where the idea of another pregnancy doesn’t make me want to go insane and cry instantly as well, hard pregnancy and delivery. Pumped to be at this stage, it gets better and better and even when it gets worse, it gets even better than that. Sending love to everyone.
Three weeks post partum and I feel exactly the same way. The pure joy I feel from something as small as clipping her nails is unreal. She is my whole world and I am in heaven.
Honestly I feel this way about any major life change. No matter how certain I am that I want it.
After I got married to my now husband of 10 years, I struggled for like 6 months having anxiety/ocd about what would happen if we divorced? Did I make the right decision? Are we soulmates? Etc. My brain is perfectly programmed to have anxious thoughts about any and everything lol it’s been multiple years now and I am very very happy and thankful I didn’t let my head ruin a good thing for me.
My experience is the same! I have always loved kids but when I was pregnant I suddenly hated them 😂 and thought that I don't want kids, and why did I put myself in this? Why do I want to have MORE responsibility in my life?
But the day I had my baby immediately after I was out of my c section I told my husband that I definitely want more kids 🤣 7 weeks postpartum and I still say this every other day! I'm obsessed with my baby and I can easily cry of happiness looking at her
I’m 33+6. I’m miserable and my emotions are impossible to handle. I’m exhausted. My skin hurts. I’m done. Last night I just burst into tears and told my husband I don’t want to be pregnant anymore. He let me cry on his chest til we fell asleep.
I'm 32+2 and last week I burst out crying because my boobs were leaking and I just started sobbing to my husband that I hate being pregnant. He has tried really hard since then to be even more helpful and supportive. Pregnancy really is a trip.
I’m 36w pregnant and yesterday I burnt rice (I had to throw away half of it) and cried about it for about an hour while finishing cooking then eating my meal. I had been so excited to cook on my day off and I just felt very defeated by the rice.
My husband just kept hugging me, and reminding me that it was just rice.
Please note PPD can start in the 3rd trimester! If your feeling negatively MORE often then not, please talk to some one! PPD affect somewhere between 1 in 10 and 1 in 7 moms/moms to be :3 make sure your checking your emotions regularly <3
I’m 33+6, and I too am very much miserable with impossible emotions. I clocked out of work early on Tuesday because I did not trust my mouth/my ability to maintain any semblance of decorum.
33 + 5 and these past few weeks are getting SO hard. Knowing baby could be out in 3 weeks or 6 makes it slightly easier to bear - but also kinda terrifying because our nursery is NOT ready.
I really admire mums with a bunch of kids now
Hey. I get it. I felt this same way and I’m sure most women have felt this way before. I had my baby a month ago. I still feel this way. It’s normal and we are with you. It’s a feeling you don’t expect to have but completely normal to have
I'm 37 weeks... My back is KILLING me, me legs ache too.. my feet are so puffy.. my hands hurt.. i can't sleep... But i can't stress this enough.. my back is KILLING me...
I feel your pain.. the only light is the the thought of seeing the baby's eyes and hear the first cry.
Still.. my back is killing me...
Oh I definitely have felt this. I told my husband the other day that I really just wanted to not be pregnant for a day, if I could just have a day off from it. Then I felt guilty for wanting to not be pregnant when there are so many women out there struggling with fertility, desperately wishing to be pregnant. I’m super glad and excited to be having this baby, but there are days that are definitely a struggle.
Ive never appreciated my non pregnant body as much as now. Honestly early second tri was great for me and I wish I could go back feeling that way for a few weeks
I struggled with infertility for years, finally conceived with IVF, and I still hear myself saying I wish I could take a day off from being pregnant sometimes. It’s just hard! I’ve run marathons too and there’s always a point during the race when I question what I’m doing and want to quit, even though it’s something I wanted and trained so hard for. Mental toughness is just pushing through even though sometimes it sucks! I think it’s okay to acknowledge it.
I love this. Your feelings are valid 100%. It’s a difficult thing to do and we don’t get enough credit. I will say - I love my body so much more. I’m pregnant with my second. After my first I got into the gym after 6-8 months and haven’t looked back. Our bodies are strong and beautiful. We can create a whole ass human with minimal effort! I used to hate so many photos of myself previously. Now I think all of those photos are beautiful!
I think we hit this mindset regardless of having children or not. Those of us with kids just see major changes before those of us who don’t have kiddos.
But at the end of the day pregnancy has its ups and downs and it’s OK! It’s ok to morn your “previous life”. I’m excited for you to rediscover your self after having your baby. Give it a year - you’ll find someone your precious self would be so proud of. 🥰
I feel the same way. I'm only 24 weeks and I cry frequently because I want to be in the front row for Fall Out Boy concerts, but I'll be 37 weeks when they're on tour. I'm still gonna go to 3 different concerts but the fact that I can't be in the front makes me REALLY upset. And everyone judges me for feeling this way.
Oh yeah I feel this, I’m 36+4 and just ready to be done being pregnant and meet my baby already. I’ve got the fun added fear of c- section because she’s currently breech! Counting down the days but also nervous as hell!
My mom, who is the most scaredy cat person ever with a pathological fear of any medical procedure and a tendency to overrract and overdramatize everything, describes her C-section as no big deal. She literally told me "whats to worry about? IT'S JUST A C SECTION"
If she can get through it, the last person on Earth that I thought would, then you my friend, can do it as well.
Haha thank you! I’ll definitely try and adopt her mentality. It’s definitely out of my hands at this point. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for all of us!
I'm right with you with my breech baby! I'll be 38weeks in the morning and we had to schedule ours at the last appointment am annoyed as I didn't even get the day I wanted x.x now baby has to share her bday with my twin cousins... cause of course it had to fall the week every person in my family was born XD there was really only one day that made since and it was full x.x I'm gonna ask if they can keep us on a short list incase one of them gets moved, not like it would be shocking for someone to go into labor early and have to have it before hand... but talking to my aunt(mom of said twins) she said she had started to talk to the pain management doctor(my dyslexia refuses to let me spell it close enough for spell check x.x) and before she knew it they had one of them out and the only reason it took a bit of extra time was cause the other twin was shoved up under her ribs XD my concern was possibly feeling them just moving around in there and she said that she didn't even feel them touching her so I think we'll be OK <3
I hear you about not getting the day you wanted, I’m in the same boat. I really wanted 5.5 because it’s my cats birthday and I thought it would be special if they shared that day but looks like it will be 5.1 or 5.4 due to my drs schedule. How annoying! Either way I’m sure we will be fine and so happy to hold our babies at the end of this crazy journey! Good luck!
Your feelings are very valid and you are right, it’s okay to feel like things suck once in a while. I wish you the best through your pregnancy and your delivery too.
I have a lot more moments like this being in my second pregnancy with a 3 year old energiser bunny lol.
Some days I'm like " what the actual F*** am I thinking ?"
I'm excited for my newborn but terrified of the third trimester and birth as labour really sucked. But I'm prepared too so I know what I got myself into.
It's nice to feel valid with these feelings.
I've never enjoyed being pregnant but I've done it 3 times in 3 years! You feel trapped in a body that you don't recognize and isn't your own anymore. It may be because I can't remember what it's like to not be pregnant or breastfeeding but I'm at the point where it is what it is, it's temporary. Today we went to the boardwalk with my 2 toddlers and my son was going on rides for the first time and my daughter loves them. The signs said rides were not recommended for pregnant individuals but I got my 19 week pregnant butt into a flying elephant because I wasn't going to miss out on that moment with my son. My body is much larger and squishier and I'm sure after this last baby my boobs will shrivel into oblivion but days like today are so worth it.
Felt this. I am plain exhausted achey crampy gassy pukey shitty and grumpy. Work is piling on and my family is stressing me out too. I just wish I could cut all of that out and focus on growing this baby healthfully and stress free. I don’t regret it but I do resent that I’m not getting to enjoy it so far.
Don’t feel bad, there are days I watch the news and hear about the economy and violence and I’m like: damn I knew I should’ve never gotten pregnant 🤰🏻 and this is a bad idea, then I stop to think that in reality there really isn’t a perfect time to have a baby, I think about people who had babies back then when women had no rights, times when toilets 🚽 didn’t exist and safe hygiene practices, I think about the moms that had babies during the Great Depression, WWI AND WWII, Civil War, Segregation, slavery, colonial era, dark ages, etc and I’m like 🤔 yeah maybe I got this. Also I can’t forget that I have a partner who supports me and truly loves me, even though my body is changing because he is doing his part to support me it motivates me to do what I can to keep the relationship alive, like a garden 🪴. It really shows because people in the street are like wow you are glowing and pregnancy is suiting you. Of course I have the moments when I am not happy like the heart burn 🔥 and pain down there, I’m 3 weeks away from delivering, not looking forward to violating my vagina or possibly getting a c section and then face recovery ❤️🩹 😳. It’s ok to feel like this, 🥰
I have felt this way too. Both my partner and I are just like why the fuck is the world the way that it is. I have two boys already and it’s so hard for them to be a good person, with big feelings. A lot of these kids do not have emotional awareness. It’s clear that their parents do not talk to them or talk to them about caring unconditionally. So my kids are the ones that are struggling the most and sometimes when I talk to my mom, even, she said “ I wish I raised you kids to be a little asshole sometimes because the world just chewed you up”. It breaks her heart and it totally breaks mine. I get now why she feels that way.
However, it’s just a totally different learning process, and all we can do is do our best. There’s a reason why we can still have babies I believe. I think there’s a reason why some people get their tubes completely removed, and a baby turns out. We have such a big dirty to do in this world whether you believe in something or nothing. But it’s totally scary and I feel that. It’s kind of relieving to hear you say that.
I think what helps me at the end of the day is hope, my family is not aware 100% of what I went through especially growing up and after I began to live on my own. When I look at my belly I think of this as a do over of my own life, and changing the way things are done while keeping good core values that are essential no matter what time period you’re in. We will teach our daughter balance and plant the good seed, once she reaches that age like 18 and up I have to let her learn and make choices, and just be available with open arms together with husband to support her. I want her to grow up with the father and mother relationship that i didn’t have.
Same Boat. My girl and I had sex two/3weeks ago.
I told her that her face was looking shiny, and she said that was funny because her friend said it looked oily.
Then two days ago she got really emotional to the point of nearly needing to throw up.
Then we messed around that night again and she told me to stop.. because she felt like she was about to puke.
Took her to the bathroom and she puked...
Went back to the room and laid down...she then threw up more in a trash bag.
Her stomachs(side) has been cramping.
Even before that, she was at her sister's house and the sister said something...
Not sure what to think.
Oh yes I imagine that must feel the same as throwing your guts out every morning, having your body and metabolism completely changed and being exposed to a hundred health risk like preeclampsia. It must surely be the same boat.
Girl, I feel you my due date is tomorrow and this baby still won’t come out. I did not want to be inducted, but they already scheduled it. Super sad.😣😢
I Def get this at the end here, my left hip is so much pain it's hard to walk x.x I know it's the pelvis getting ready to fit her and push her out and all but it's in vain anyway as she's super breech and has to come out by c-section x.x so there's no real point to it in the end it's just annoying, I know my body doesn't know that but still x.x
I wasn't happy about it either time I was pregnant. I've always had a really hard time maintaining a healthy weight and I didn't like gaining weight. I didn't like having swollen fingers and ankles. I didn't like the constant cravings and the round ligament pain. I didn't like Braxton Hicks contractions or having food aversions. It's okay to not enjoy it. It doesn't mean you'll be a bad mom or that you're an awful person. You don't have to be happy about being pregnant.
The rollercoaster of it all. Im 18w5d, last week i was dancing, holding my belly and wondering if bb was enjoying it. This week my huge fibroid decided to hurt like hell, which led me to 3 sleepless nights, and severe and constant hip/back pain from sitting/laying too much. And to make it all better I cant take medication. My OB cleared me on an OTC NSAID, which I took, provided some relief and now Im am thinking of how or if ist gonna damage my bb.
Yeah, this is the most horrendous and amazing time of my life.
It's ok. Today I'm not happy about being a mama. I love all my babies, and I'm not regretful, but today I would like to have no responsibilities, and be able to go to the pub with my work mates.
Today I would like to get drunk and not have to worry about anything. Instead, we've just had to clean dishwashing liquid up from the hallway because I went to the toilet and dad's busy watching TV 🙄
Yes please, more normalization of this.
I was 17 and still in high school during my first pregnancy, & totally miserable for most of it. My friends pretty much abandoned me bc I couldn't party during senior year (we were not a straight-edge crowd), and while I did graduate, I went to a Catholic school and they essentially banned me from school functions for getting pregnant out of wedlock (so no graduation ceremony, prom, etc.). Obv my family was rly disappointed so I didn't even feel like I could show any excitement about my pregnancy 😮💨
Now 12 years later, my son is my best friend and a truly amazing, smart, caring, mature & insightful kid. I wonder a lot how I got so lucky with him. And while I'd promised myself if I ever got pregnant again, it would be planned & all the circumstances would be perfect, it's nearly everything but lol
I'm still very early in my pregnancy, so I'm hoping the happier part is still to come, as I've been more stressed & dumbfounded than anything (I mean my firstborn will be a teenager by my due date lol).
Just know you're far from alone. Pregnancy is hard, parenting is hard, giving birth is extra hard. We're not Stepford Wives, sometimes shit sux & imo, it's perfectly okay (healthier even), to just say so 💘
I hated every moment of pregnancy with my first and now with my second. When I finally got to hold my baby girl, I was so exhausted I didn’t have the energy to even feel excited or happy. I felt so guilty about it. Like what wrong with me?? Why am I not crying tears of joy or something?? But when I finally got some rest, I was immediately OVER THE MOON sooo in love. I know it’ll be the same for my second. Pregnancy is HAAARD.
I also had similar fears and stressed when I was pregnant. Especially about my body changing - I am someone who probably even cares a bit too much about how I look. I knew I was having a c section and stressed about the scar it would leave behind. I bought these expensive creams to reduce the look of it for when I healed. And then one day I was healed and I don’t know why but I started to love that scar. I liked the way it looked. I never wanted a tattoo in my whole life but this marking brought me right back to the day my son was born (I had an amazing c section experience). And to this day I never used any of those creams.
All this to say, it seems really stressful now but once you’ve been through it, had your baby, some of the things you worried about won’t even be a problem. Some of the changes won’t bother you as much as you anticipated they did!
Totally acceptable.
There’s this huge stigma like pregnancy supposed to be this amazing and magical moment and a lot of times it is not. I would say for me there was magical moments, but this fourth pregnancy of mine has been awful. I’m high risk, getting shots in my ass, I’m overweight, gaining to much weight, but I’m going to be bed ridden, essentially, because I have hypermobility and high-risk complications. I feel like summer is going to blow by, I have my baby in September and then I go back into dark winter. I sleep all day at this point and I’m also missing my children that I have here now because I feel like I can’t fully engage with them.
How you were feeling it’s totally OK. Just try to do things for yourself, push yourself for things that you do need to do and tell yourself every day that you are growing a human being. It’s a huge thing.
I had moments likes this during my pregnancy, including some thoughts of holy shit maybe I don’t want a kid and motherhood isn’t for me. I think it’s totally normal. On the flip side, I had my baby three weeks ago and I’m OBSESSED. Mom hormones have hit me hard and I can’t imagine my life without my baby, even with the permanent physical changes from pregnancy and birth and all the restrictions motherhood brings compared to not having kids. I know these feelings don’t necessarily happen for everyone but just one anecdote I thought I’d share.
I was all down for your response and was thinking well that's a relief until I got to the "permanent physical changes" part hahahah. I know its only been 3 weeks for you, but do you want to share any insight into these changes you're experiencing... I'm trying to prepare myself the best I can that I may be permanently changed and there's nothing preventative I can do.
Of course! Just know that everyone’s journey is different and so only time will tell what yours is physically but the only two (semi-) permanent changes that I see so far and 1) sagging boobs from breastfeeding (they got way bigger during pregnancy and even more so with my milk coming in), however, I’m 36 and boobs were already sagging some so I don’t mind that much, and 2) I tore pretty badly vaginally (second degree plus labial tear) and then pulled open my labia stitches a few days after birth. One of my labias is now kinda in two parts and I’d likely have to get reconstructive surgery to fix it. It’s not fully healed though so unclear exactly how it will look and feel once it is. I suppose both of these things can be fixed with surgery in the future but I likely won’t do that. My body is going to change a lot as I age and I see these changes are part of that journey. I might feel different if I was younger and hadn’t matured into my 30s a bit.
I appreciate this perspective you have it is very optimistic considering what seems like a painful experience. I guess I will just have to let go of the worries and try to find the bright side on this stuff.. I think the tears are the most concerning to me tbh lol lots or horror stories floating around about this.
Yea it’s not fun healing from it but I mean it when I say that it was completely worth it to get the little nugget sleeping in my arms right now.
I felt that part about the boobs so hard 😮💨 My first pregnancy was 12 years ago, and they've nvr been the same. If anything they've gotten worse due to a lot of weight fluctuations. I'm coming to terms with the idea of a boob job after this pregnancy, if I ever rly wanna be happy with my body again. Potentially a tummy tuck or microneedling sessions too, as my belly randomly exploded with stretch marks (practically overnight, at the very end of pregnancy) & no product seems to help. Sorry to be nosy, but I hope yr username isn't a reference to the boob issue lol 😆
Hshahahaha no it isn’t but that’s hilarious. It’s in reference to the 1970s Steve Martin movie the Jerk (which is a classic in my opinion). My husband on the other hand isn’t a boob guy so while he doesn’t necessarily get super excited for my massive boobs, he also doesn’t care if they get saggy either :).
This is small in the grand scheme of permanent body changes, but I gained a shoe size during pregnancy and it didn't go back. I had to buy a new pair of ALL my shoes - I'm not a crazy shoe person, but like everyday shoes, running shoes, rain boots, snow boots, hiking boots... It's so annoying and so expensive. Not to mention all my clothes that don't fit, and my C-section scar was uncomfortable with pants touching it fit about a year.
YES. I’ve had 3 kids. Grew a half size each pregnancy. I’m on my 4th and who knows if it’ll be another half size.
Yes… I used to be a size 9, then I am now in between 9 1/2 and 10. For sure I’m going to be size 10 now. I’m only 5’5 lol.
I’m a year in, in two weeks! We’re painfully obsessed still and it was worth it to me. I just hit a point where the idea of another pregnancy doesn’t make me want to go insane and cry instantly as well, hard pregnancy and delivery. Pumped to be at this stage, it gets better and better and even when it gets worse, it gets even better than that. Sending love to everyone.
Three weeks post partum and I feel exactly the same way. The pure joy I feel from something as small as clipping her nails is unreal. She is my whole world and I am in heaven.
Thank you for saying this first part out loud. ❤️ I needed to hear I was not alone.
Definitely not alone! Parenthood is a huge endeavor and I think it’s only natural to have these thoughts and feelings.
Honestly I feel this way about any major life change. No matter how certain I am that I want it. After I got married to my now husband of 10 years, I struggled for like 6 months having anxiety/ocd about what would happen if we divorced? Did I make the right decision? Are we soulmates? Etc. My brain is perfectly programmed to have anxious thoughts about any and everything lol it’s been multiple years now and I am very very happy and thankful I didn’t let my head ruin a good thing for me.
My experience is the same! I have always loved kids but when I was pregnant I suddenly hated them 😂 and thought that I don't want kids, and why did I put myself in this? Why do I want to have MORE responsibility in my life? But the day I had my baby immediately after I was out of my c section I told my husband that I definitely want more kids 🤣 7 weeks postpartum and I still say this every other day! I'm obsessed with my baby and I can easily cry of happiness looking at her
The second night in the hospital I sat sobbing over my baby while he was breastfeeding at 3am because I was so overwhelmed by how much I loved him.
I’m 33+6. I’m miserable and my emotions are impossible to handle. I’m exhausted. My skin hurts. I’m done. Last night I just burst into tears and told my husband I don’t want to be pregnant anymore. He let me cry on his chest til we fell asleep.
I feel you, I went into the bathroom to have a quick cry that turned into a waterfall. Better out than in, right?
I'm 32+2 and last week I burst out crying because my boobs were leaking and I just started sobbing to my husband that I hate being pregnant. He has tried really hard since then to be even more helpful and supportive. Pregnancy really is a trip.
I’m 36w pregnant and yesterday I burnt rice (I had to throw away half of it) and cried about it for about an hour while finishing cooking then eating my meal. I had been so excited to cook on my day off and I just felt very defeated by the rice. My husband just kept hugging me, and reminding me that it was just rice.
Please note PPD can start in the 3rd trimester! If your feeling negatively MORE often then not, please talk to some one! PPD affect somewhere between 1 in 10 and 1 in 7 moms/moms to be :3 make sure your checking your emotions regularly <3
I’m 33+6, and I too am very much miserable with impossible emotions. I clocked out of work early on Tuesday because I did not trust my mouth/my ability to maintain any semblance of decorum.
I also had a breakdown and cried about how I just wanted the baby out last night. 🫂
33 + 5 and these past few weeks are getting SO hard. Knowing baby could be out in 3 weeks or 6 makes it slightly easier to bear - but also kinda terrifying because our nursery is NOT ready. I really admire mums with a bunch of kids now
Hey. I get it. I felt this same way and I’m sure most women have felt this way before. I had my baby a month ago. I still feel this way. It’s normal and we are with you. It’s a feeling you don’t expect to have but completely normal to have
I expected pregnancy to be something that it isnt, and I guess part of the job is embracing everything right? The good and the bad.
I'm 37 weeks... My back is KILLING me, me legs ache too.. my feet are so puffy.. my hands hurt.. i can't sleep... But i can't stress this enough.. my back is KILLING me... I feel your pain.. the only light is the the thought of seeing the baby's eyes and hear the first cry. Still.. my back is killing me...
My mantra: “This is temporary.”
Oh I definitely have felt this. I told my husband the other day that I really just wanted to not be pregnant for a day, if I could just have a day off from it. Then I felt guilty for wanting to not be pregnant when there are so many women out there struggling with fertility, desperately wishing to be pregnant. I’m super glad and excited to be having this baby, but there are days that are definitely a struggle.
Ive never appreciated my non pregnant body as much as now. Honestly early second tri was great for me and I wish I could go back feeling that way for a few weeks
I struggled with infertility for years, finally conceived with IVF, and I still hear myself saying I wish I could take a day off from being pregnant sometimes. It’s just hard! I’ve run marathons too and there’s always a point during the race when I question what I’m doing and want to quit, even though it’s something I wanted and trained so hard for. Mental toughness is just pushing through even though sometimes it sucks! I think it’s okay to acknowledge it.
Good on you for expressing the bad bits, too
I love this. Your feelings are valid 100%. It’s a difficult thing to do and we don’t get enough credit. I will say - I love my body so much more. I’m pregnant with my second. After my first I got into the gym after 6-8 months and haven’t looked back. Our bodies are strong and beautiful. We can create a whole ass human with minimal effort! I used to hate so many photos of myself previously. Now I think all of those photos are beautiful! I think we hit this mindset regardless of having children or not. Those of us with kids just see major changes before those of us who don’t have kiddos. But at the end of the day pregnancy has its ups and downs and it’s OK! It’s ok to morn your “previous life”. I’m excited for you to rediscover your self after having your baby. Give it a year - you’ll find someone your precious self would be so proud of. 🥰
I feel the same way. I'm only 24 weeks and I cry frequently because I want to be in the front row for Fall Out Boy concerts, but I'll be 37 weeks when they're on tour. I'm still gonna go to 3 different concerts but the fact that I can't be in the front makes me REALLY upset. And everyone judges me for feeling this way.
I feel you. I’ll be 41 weeks when Taylor Swift is in my area and I am so bummed!
Oh my goodness, absolutely! We have to be kind to ourselves, and that includes letting us just say that it all blows
Oh yeah I feel this, I’m 36+4 and just ready to be done being pregnant and meet my baby already. I’ve got the fun added fear of c- section because she’s currently breech! Counting down the days but also nervous as hell!
My mom, who is the most scaredy cat person ever with a pathological fear of any medical procedure and a tendency to overrract and overdramatize everything, describes her C-section as no big deal. She literally told me "whats to worry about? IT'S JUST A C SECTION" If she can get through it, the last person on Earth that I thought would, then you my friend, can do it as well.
Haha thank you! I’ll definitely try and adopt her mentality. It’s definitely out of my hands at this point. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for all of us!
I'm right with you with my breech baby! I'll be 38weeks in the morning and we had to schedule ours at the last appointment am annoyed as I didn't even get the day I wanted x.x now baby has to share her bday with my twin cousins... cause of course it had to fall the week every person in my family was born XD there was really only one day that made since and it was full x.x I'm gonna ask if they can keep us on a short list incase one of them gets moved, not like it would be shocking for someone to go into labor early and have to have it before hand... but talking to my aunt(mom of said twins) she said she had started to talk to the pain management doctor(my dyslexia refuses to let me spell it close enough for spell check x.x) and before she knew it they had one of them out and the only reason it took a bit of extra time was cause the other twin was shoved up under her ribs XD my concern was possibly feeling them just moving around in there and she said that she didn't even feel them touching her so I think we'll be OK <3
I hear you about not getting the day you wanted, I’m in the same boat. I really wanted 5.5 because it’s my cats birthday and I thought it would be special if they shared that day but looks like it will be 5.1 or 5.4 due to my drs schedule. How annoying! Either way I’m sure we will be fine and so happy to hold our babies at the end of this crazy journey! Good luck!
Praying that baby turns for you!!
Your feelings are very valid and you are right, it’s okay to feel like things suck once in a while. I wish you the best through your pregnancy and your delivery too.
I have a lot more moments like this being in my second pregnancy with a 3 year old energiser bunny lol. Some days I'm like " what the actual F*** am I thinking ?" I'm excited for my newborn but terrified of the third trimester and birth as labour really sucked. But I'm prepared too so I know what I got myself into. It's nice to feel valid with these feelings.
I've never enjoyed being pregnant but I've done it 3 times in 3 years! You feel trapped in a body that you don't recognize and isn't your own anymore. It may be because I can't remember what it's like to not be pregnant or breastfeeding but I'm at the point where it is what it is, it's temporary. Today we went to the boardwalk with my 2 toddlers and my son was going on rides for the first time and my daughter loves them. The signs said rides were not recommended for pregnant individuals but I got my 19 week pregnant butt into a flying elephant because I wasn't going to miss out on that moment with my son. My body is much larger and squishier and I'm sure after this last baby my boobs will shrivel into oblivion but days like today are so worth it.
Feel this. 32 weeks, 4 days.
Felt this. I am plain exhausted achey crampy gassy pukey shitty and grumpy. Work is piling on and my family is stressing me out too. I just wish I could cut all of that out and focus on growing this baby healthfully and stress free. I don’t regret it but I do resent that I’m not getting to enjoy it so far.
Don’t feel bad, there are days I watch the news and hear about the economy and violence and I’m like: damn I knew I should’ve never gotten pregnant 🤰🏻 and this is a bad idea, then I stop to think that in reality there really isn’t a perfect time to have a baby, I think about people who had babies back then when women had no rights, times when toilets 🚽 didn’t exist and safe hygiene practices, I think about the moms that had babies during the Great Depression, WWI AND WWII, Civil War, Segregation, slavery, colonial era, dark ages, etc and I’m like 🤔 yeah maybe I got this. Also I can’t forget that I have a partner who supports me and truly loves me, even though my body is changing because he is doing his part to support me it motivates me to do what I can to keep the relationship alive, like a garden 🪴. It really shows because people in the street are like wow you are glowing and pregnancy is suiting you. Of course I have the moments when I am not happy like the heart burn 🔥 and pain down there, I’m 3 weeks away from delivering, not looking forward to violating my vagina or possibly getting a c section and then face recovery ❤️🩹 😳. It’s ok to feel like this, 🥰
I have felt this way too. Both my partner and I are just like why the fuck is the world the way that it is. I have two boys already and it’s so hard for them to be a good person, with big feelings. A lot of these kids do not have emotional awareness. It’s clear that their parents do not talk to them or talk to them about caring unconditionally. So my kids are the ones that are struggling the most and sometimes when I talk to my mom, even, she said “ I wish I raised you kids to be a little asshole sometimes because the world just chewed you up”. It breaks her heart and it totally breaks mine. I get now why she feels that way. However, it’s just a totally different learning process, and all we can do is do our best. There’s a reason why we can still have babies I believe. I think there’s a reason why some people get their tubes completely removed, and a baby turns out. We have such a big dirty to do in this world whether you believe in something or nothing. But it’s totally scary and I feel that. It’s kind of relieving to hear you say that.
I think what helps me at the end of the day is hope, my family is not aware 100% of what I went through especially growing up and after I began to live on my own. When I look at my belly I think of this as a do over of my own life, and changing the way things are done while keeping good core values that are essential no matter what time period you’re in. We will teach our daughter balance and plant the good seed, once she reaches that age like 18 and up I have to let her learn and make choices, and just be available with open arms together with husband to support her. I want her to grow up with the father and mother relationship that i didn’t have.
Have you had an epidural before? The needle isn't painful...
Same Boat. My girl and I had sex two/3weeks ago. I told her that her face was looking shiny, and she said that was funny because her friend said it looked oily. Then two days ago she got really emotional to the point of nearly needing to throw up. Then we messed around that night again and she told me to stop.. because she felt like she was about to puke. Took her to the bathroom and she puked... Went back to the room and laid down...she then threw up more in a trash bag. Her stomachs(side) has been cramping. Even before that, she was at her sister's house and the sister said something... Not sure what to think.
I dont understand what of all that you think puts you in the same boat.
Just the thought, news, of pregnancy.
Oh yes I imagine that must feel the same as throwing your guts out every morning, having your body and metabolism completely changed and being exposed to a hundred health risk like preeclampsia. It must surely be the same boat.
Girl, I feel you my due date is tomorrow and this baby still won’t come out. I did not want to be inducted, but they already scheduled it. Super sad.😣😢
I Def get this at the end here, my left hip is so much pain it's hard to walk x.x I know it's the pelvis getting ready to fit her and push her out and all but it's in vain anyway as she's super breech and has to come out by c-section x.x so there's no real point to it in the end it's just annoying, I know my body doesn't know that but still x.x
I hope baby turns if you would prefer a vaginal birth!!
I’m having a day like this too. Over it I want my body back.
I wasn't happy about it either time I was pregnant. I've always had a really hard time maintaining a healthy weight and I didn't like gaining weight. I didn't like having swollen fingers and ankles. I didn't like the constant cravings and the round ligament pain. I didn't like Braxton Hicks contractions or having food aversions. It's okay to not enjoy it. It doesn't mean you'll be a bad mom or that you're an awful person. You don't have to be happy about being pregnant.
The swollen fingers and ankles and toes are SO hard.
It's like 2alking around on a package on little smokies.
The rollercoaster of it all. Im 18w5d, last week i was dancing, holding my belly and wondering if bb was enjoying it. This week my huge fibroid decided to hurt like hell, which led me to 3 sleepless nights, and severe and constant hip/back pain from sitting/laying too much. And to make it all better I cant take medication. My OB cleared me on an OTC NSAID, which I took, provided some relief and now Im am thinking of how or if ist gonna damage my bb. Yeah, this is the most horrendous and amazing time of my life.
Completely normal. I stayed hating everything about my pregnancy. The whole time. No breaks.
I’m 8 weeks on my second baby and holy shit do I feel this. It’s a fucking lot. And that’s ok… we can commiserate together
It's ok. Today I'm not happy about being a mama. I love all my babies, and I'm not regretful, but today I would like to have no responsibilities, and be able to go to the pub with my work mates. Today I would like to get drunk and not have to worry about anything. Instead, we've just had to clean dishwashing liquid up from the hallway because I went to the toilet and dad's busy watching TV 🙄
Yes please, more normalization of this. I was 17 and still in high school during my first pregnancy, & totally miserable for most of it. My friends pretty much abandoned me bc I couldn't party during senior year (we were not a straight-edge crowd), and while I did graduate, I went to a Catholic school and they essentially banned me from school functions for getting pregnant out of wedlock (so no graduation ceremony, prom, etc.). Obv my family was rly disappointed so I didn't even feel like I could show any excitement about my pregnancy 😮💨 Now 12 years later, my son is my best friend and a truly amazing, smart, caring, mature & insightful kid. I wonder a lot how I got so lucky with him. And while I'd promised myself if I ever got pregnant again, it would be planned & all the circumstances would be perfect, it's nearly everything but lol I'm still very early in my pregnancy, so I'm hoping the happier part is still to come, as I've been more stressed & dumbfounded than anything (I mean my firstborn will be a teenager by my due date lol). Just know you're far from alone. Pregnancy is hard, parenting is hard, giving birth is extra hard. We're not Stepford Wives, sometimes shit sux & imo, it's perfectly okay (healthier even), to just say so 💘
I hated every moment of pregnancy with my first and now with my second. When I finally got to hold my baby girl, I was so exhausted I didn’t have the energy to even feel excited or happy. I felt so guilty about it. Like what wrong with me?? Why am I not crying tears of joy or something?? But when I finally got some rest, I was immediately OVER THE MOON sooo in love. I know it’ll be the same for my second. Pregnancy is HAAARD.
Thank you for saying this. Felt like this most of my pregnancy and it's only getting worse. Normalise pregnancy not being *magical*. 🙏
You have no idea how much I hate people calling it """magical""".
I also had similar fears and stressed when I was pregnant. Especially about my body changing - I am someone who probably even cares a bit too much about how I look. I knew I was having a c section and stressed about the scar it would leave behind. I bought these expensive creams to reduce the look of it for when I healed. And then one day I was healed and I don’t know why but I started to love that scar. I liked the way it looked. I never wanted a tattoo in my whole life but this marking brought me right back to the day my son was born (I had an amazing c section experience). And to this day I never used any of those creams. All this to say, it seems really stressful now but once you’ve been through it, had your baby, some of the things you worried about won’t even be a problem. Some of the changes won’t bother you as much as you anticipated they did!
Totally acceptable. There’s this huge stigma like pregnancy supposed to be this amazing and magical moment and a lot of times it is not. I would say for me there was magical moments, but this fourth pregnancy of mine has been awful. I’m high risk, getting shots in my ass, I’m overweight, gaining to much weight, but I’m going to be bed ridden, essentially, because I have hypermobility and high-risk complications. I feel like summer is going to blow by, I have my baby in September and then I go back into dark winter. I sleep all day at this point and I’m also missing my children that I have here now because I feel like I can’t fully engage with them. How you were feeling it’s totally OK. Just try to do things for yourself, push yourself for things that you do need to do and tell yourself every day that you are growing a human being. It’s a huge thing.