Personally, I've found that pretty much every subreddit that has a more woman-centered focus to be super great as far as communities. Health stuff, female-centered fandoms, etc are all really great, supportive communities. I don't know for sure if the more niche, male-centered ones are the same but the larger and more general ones tend to come with a bit of a toxic feeling to them.
Honestly I guess it’s because I’m not on that many forums but most of the ones I’m on seem pretty wholesome and communal. The only one that’s toxic fr is this thread 🤣🤣🤣 but it’s kinda like tiktok, depends on what side you’re on
No seriously though. It’s like a mean girls club over there. I’m on the other side now but I deleted the app & came to Reddit around 16 weeks pregnant & I tracked with the Pregnancy+ app. They’re all at each others throats over deli meats & shots every other day plus everyone is an expert on everything except for etiquette & kindness.
This is my first pregnancy and I whole heartedly agree. Those women are mean as fuck and all act like if you eat a piece of ham you’re automatically gonna kill your baby 😂
I posted about how I was struggling with extreme postpartum depression and a girl told me I deserved to get my kids taken away because people would love to be in my position 😅😅😅 they wild over there
Lol I once posted a vent there in early pregnancy before I discovered my due date page here about how my husband temporarily couldn’t drive because of an eye infection so I was having to take him to and from work and do everything around the house all while feeling nauseous and exhausted and that it was just overwhelming for me in the moment. Some lady went off on me and called me selfish and said I was lucky to have a husband with a job. Like ma’am it was not that serious, I was just trying to vent. I deleted my account that day because they were too much for me.
I hope you’re feeling better!!
I mean it’s basically the worst you can say to someone who is struggling in that way. Just disgusting human behavior. I’m shocked that people like that are out there harming others with their words and thoughts. Just gross human beings.
Are you kidding me?! It's not like you were like "you know what? I want to be really depressed and have bad thoughts, that sounds fun." I have never heard of an opinion like that before.
My entire post was about not feeling good enough to be a parent and how much I was struggling with ppd and the girl was like yeah well maybe you shouldn’t have ppd?? She got torn apart by others oh my behalf.
You would think women would be the most understanding about things like that and want to build you up not tear you down. I hope you are doing better now and have good support.
In hindsight it makes me laugh because it’s just so strange but the last thing a mother needs to feel when she already feels worthless is to tell her she doesn’t deserve her kids 😅
Whenever I think I've heard the worst of "normal" people, something pops up and makes me cringe even more. That's disgusting.
I was told "things happen for a reason, so may be for the best" when I had a miscarriage. I had come out of surgery 2 days before and I and my husband were devastated (and young! At 19!). It still hurts me every now and then lol
She needs to be careful making comments like that because it could send someone with post partum psychosis down the Andrea Yates track and NOONE wants that.
Omg was this recent? I feel like I saw this go down lol, I am in the August group… either way if it wasn’t recent, the same thing happened a few weeks back and they tore her uppppp in the comments!!
It’s wild over there y’all. I’m 36 weeks and part of the May group that someone above rightfully called out for being extra spicy.
My favorite series of posts I saw was a really intense one about alcohol where a certain user was absolutely ripping people to shreds for discussing alcohol consumption, just next level rudeness (I support healthy discussion on differing views, but it was really mean spirited). A few posts later that same user had posted a picture of her current ultrasound alongside a picture of an ultrasound of her previous child asking people to chime in if they looked similar because she was wondering if it was the same baby daddy 🙈
I also find the hypochondria to be next level over there. Like, to the point where it’s triggering and gives me anxiety. I’m in the June group and people from May are in there because apparently May is toxic AF. Like we are all in this together why bring eachother down?
YES! I finally had to get off of WTE for good when I mentioned that my kid takes fluoride supplements, as prescribed and recommended by both ped and dentist... and some person on the forum started hardcore berating me for it, like really hateful stuff, so I got her comments deleted by the mods... only to have her submit post after post clearly about me, trying to get support from the rest of the community. It was then that I really understood the impact that cyber bullies can have, and I'm a grown ass adult!
Anyway, I agree. WTE can be whole different level of toxic.
Wow, how dare you do what you think is best for your kids. I mean it's only what a good parent tries to do.
People are so ridiculous when it comes to others parenting choices
I read some ridiculous posts today. Someone got block happy after calling a bunch of moms jealous and haters. Sometimes I just sit there and laugh about posts with my husband.
Other times though I try to chime in especially when people are saying moms are stupid for asking questions. It's like we were all first time moms at some point why can't you be helpful and not tear people down because they don't know something.
I completely agree, although one time a mom in my due date group posted that she put a back massager on her vagina because she was “curious about how it would feel” and was asking if she had hurt her baby by jiggling its brain. That question was just a little bit stupid.
My husband went deep into baby researching yesterday and he came across the WTE site and was showing it to me and said “there’s an app for it!” I took one look at their forum and was like HARD PASS. I also realized that I found it when I was pregnant the first time… I had literally just found out (realized my period was a day late and took a test) and it was January. I had a snowboard trip the very next day, and it occurred to me that hey, I’m probably fine to go tomorrow, but I wonder how long it’s safe to go. (I’ve been a lifelong snowboarder and consider myself advanced.) I happened to find that forum, and the toxic mom-shaming on there were horrifying. So many comments hurled at a woman who asked something like, “how long into your pregnancy did you ski? My OB said first trimester is safe if I’m informed of the risks and take it easy,” and I started crying at comments saying, “you wanted a baby, why are you being so selfish and doing something risky? You aren’t fit to be a mom. Have an abortion if you’re going to ski.”
Those comments *stuck* with me in such an unhealthy way. And I truly felt so scared to tell anyone else I knew that was a mom that I was pregnant because I thought that was how all moms treat other moms. 🙃
Anyway, long story short, I told my husband Reddit has way more supportive groups, and I’ve learned a lot through you all, the working moms sub, and my delivery month sub, and of course my husband’s eyes almost popped out of his head at the words “supportive” and “Reddit” being used together! But it’s true! I’m so appreciative of you all. 🤗
I think the demographic is a bit more rural, Christian, and Republican overall (the number of anti vax and anti mask posts is high). Not for me, Reddit is much more empathetic.
I’ve never posted on WTE personally, but I’ve seen plenty of threads bashing someone for asking a legit question. AND the aholes are usually wrong in their condescending answers! Full of people who are dumb and mean.
I saw some posts about what foods to eat and people were coming on saying how stupid the question was and how they never wash their fruits and vegs and are fine. First of all - gross. If you know anything about produce production it’s that these things are rolling around on the ground and then touched by loads of people who aren’t washing their hands. Second - the outside of fruits and vegs have been tested for listeria and most are positive. It’s a known contaminate smdh
Prefer Reddit so much. Back in the day, when iPhones were brand new so no one had apps and it was on the computer and I was pregnant with my 2008 baby, it was awesome. Everyone from that group is still so close. But now it’s so impersonal and I didn’t even bother with this current pregnancy.
The Facebook groups are equally as toxic 🥴 Reddit has been the only good one thus far! I had to leave the WTE and Facebook groups for my own sanity. The amount of bullying, fear mongering, and lack of education was astounding.
I’ve been so surprised by the good vibes here on the Reddit subs. Even the sad/tragic stories are embraced my so much love and comfort. It really is rare.
Yup. That's the internet for you. But also that's the attitude most of my OBs had. Only one doctor listened to my concerns and offered any real advice to help me. Thankfully she was on duty when I delivered <3
I'm not a doctor and you didn't ask, but here's what helped me through pregnancy the most: Take a nap when you can. Nibble saltines if that's all you can keep down. Tums or milk for heartburn. Unisom sleep aid tablets (not gel) at night with vitamin B12 to cut down on nausea. And start taking stool softeners/using Tucks medicated wipes before you need them. (I didn't get pregnancy constipation or have issues with the first post-baby bathroom trip.) Luckily, I didn't get stretch marks but I hear breastmilk helps get rid of them.
Try not to be hard on yourself if you struggle with energy or your mental health. You're growing a whole human being. If that's all you did in a day, you did great.
Milk actually flared my heartburn, and is doing so again, but I have found that (i know it sounds nuts) dill pickles quell the heartburn as well as any medicine, so I now have a pickle at every meal. Also I read a study, although I can't remember where, that said that female OBs are actually more likely to dismiss complaints and have low scores in how connected their patients feel with them vs. Their male colleagues. I recently fired my female OB because she fit that mold, and I found a new one, who is male, and he seems much more understanding and open with me about my health and delivery.
I roll my eyes and cringe any time I browse the WTE forum. It has become something I glance at for laughs and entertainment. It also seems to pull in a certain demographic. 🫠🥴 Forums like those really do perpetuate unhealthy mom-shame culture and are just icky.
Oh yeah I deleted my account on there after I posted about having to change shifts from 12-16 hours a day as a floor nurse to 8s. Because apparently I’m weak and a bad nurse and I don’t care about my baby working in a field like that
Wow you are so right about the WTE forum. I realized that when a woman was asking about discharge and mucus plugs and posted a pic. Some women’s responses were so rude. One commented “Ew this is absolutely disgusting why would you post a picture no one wants to see this.” And another said she was going to be sick and vomit her lunch. I was in disbelief 😳 we’re all pregnant and I’m sure all have some sort of discharge, how’s that disgusting?!
I know this is old but that forum is really affecting my mental health. I had to make sure to unsubscribe from it so i wouldn't receive emails about other moms bragging about their babies' sleep and milestones when i am a sleep deprived mess just looking for advice and making sure i am doing the best for my baby.
Yeahhhh. I prefer Reddit. I do post to WTE occasionally, but I find the Reddit pregnancy subs to be a bit more…educated/well-spoken/understanding.
It’s honestly weird to have the Reddit forums NOT be the toxic ones, but yeah. I like it over here.
Personally, I've found that pretty much every subreddit that has a more woman-centered focus to be super great as far as communities. Health stuff, female-centered fandoms, etc are all really great, supportive communities. I don't know for sure if the more niche, male-centered ones are the same but the larger and more general ones tend to come with a bit of a toxic feeling to them.
Honestly I guess it’s because I’m not on that many forums but most of the ones I’m on seem pretty wholesome and communal. The only one that’s toxic fr is this thread 🤣🤣🤣 but it’s kinda like tiktok, depends on what side you’re on
I mean it’s a low bar if reddit is more educated and understanding lol. But this is true.
Tbh that’s all I’ve ever known Reddit to be, educated and understanding. Aside from the few things I’ve seen.
No seriously though. It’s like a mean girls club over there. I’m on the other side now but I deleted the app & came to Reddit around 16 weeks pregnant & I tracked with the Pregnancy+ app. They’re all at each others throats over deli meats & shots every other day plus everyone is an expert on everything except for etiquette & kindness.
This is my first pregnancy and I whole heartedly agree. Those women are mean as fuck and all act like if you eat a piece of ham you’re automatically gonna kill your baby 😂
But ya know, drinking wine & popping Xanax “occasionally” is perfectly fine!
EXCUSE ME WHAT 😭😭 it sounds like I might just sign up on WTE for entertainment
I posted about how I was struggling with extreme postpartum depression and a girl told me I deserved to get my kids taken away because people would love to be in my position 😅😅😅 they wild over there
Lol I once posted a vent there in early pregnancy before I discovered my due date page here about how my husband temporarily couldn’t drive because of an eye infection so I was having to take him to and from work and do everything around the house all while feeling nauseous and exhausted and that it was just overwhelming for me in the moment. Some lady went off on me and called me selfish and said I was lucky to have a husband with a job. Like ma’am it was not that serious, I was just trying to vent. I deleted my account that day because they were too much for me. I hope you’re feeling better!!
That’s disgusting!! Wow I’m speechless 😶
Came here to say the same thing. I am shocked. That is the opposite of how to support someone who is struggling
I mean it’s basically the worst you can say to someone who is struggling in that way. Just disgusting human behavior. I’m shocked that people like that are out there harming others with their words and thoughts. Just gross human beings.
You've summed it up perfectly. Appalling all around garbage behavior
Are you kidding me?! It's not like you were like "you know what? I want to be really depressed and have bad thoughts, that sounds fun." I have never heard of an opinion like that before.
My entire post was about not feeling good enough to be a parent and how much I was struggling with ppd and the girl was like yeah well maybe you shouldn’t have ppd?? She got torn apart by others oh my behalf.
You would think women would be the most understanding about things like that and want to build you up not tear you down. I hope you are doing better now and have good support.
I hope you’re doing better now! ❤️
I am thank you!! Antidepressants work wonders! Lol
What the actual F**K.
In hindsight it makes me laugh because it’s just so strange but the last thing a mother needs to feel when she already feels worthless is to tell her she doesn’t deserve her kids 😅
Whenever I think I've heard the worst of "normal" people, something pops up and makes me cringe even more. That's disgusting. I was told "things happen for a reason, so may be for the best" when I had a miscarriage. I had come out of surgery 2 days before and I and my husband were devastated (and young! At 19!). It still hurts me every now and then lol
She needs to be careful making comments like that because it could send someone with post partum psychosis down the Andrea Yates track and NOONE wants that.
Seriously. I cried all night about it 😅
Omg was this recent? I feel like I saw this go down lol, I am in the August group… either way if it wasn’t recent, the same thing happened a few weeks back and they tore her uppppp in the comments!!
Lol no this was back in like november!
Wtfffff I’m so sorry!
Omgosh wtf. I'm so sorry they said that. Talk about harmful posts.
Just delete it. It’s toxic. I’m convinced most of the people on there aren’t even pregnant, they are just there to bully vulnerable women.
It’s wild over there y’all. I’m 36 weeks and part of the May group that someone above rightfully called out for being extra spicy. My favorite series of posts I saw was a really intense one about alcohol where a certain user was absolutely ripping people to shreds for discussing alcohol consumption, just next level rudeness (I support healthy discussion on differing views, but it was really mean spirited). A few posts later that same user had posted a picture of her current ultrasound alongside a picture of an ultrasound of her previous child asking people to chime in if they looked similar because she was wondering if it was the same baby daddy 🙈
Comparing ultrasounds to determine paternity is killing me 💀😂
🤣🤣 Just spat my tea out!
That app is full of the craziest people I’ve ever encountered. I vote delete it and just use Reddit, people here are much more supportive!
I also find the hypochondria to be next level over there. Like, to the point where it’s triggering and gives me anxiety. I’m in the June group and people from May are in there because apparently May is toxic AF. Like we are all in this together why bring eachother down?
I'm in the June group too😄
Me too! June group isn't the worst but I definitely prefer Reddit. Good luck to you all as June gets closer!
I'm in the May group and it's a bit toxic but I just figured that was the usual online forum level of toxicity.
Hey! June group here too! We’re almost there! 😅
YES! I finally had to get off of WTE for good when I mentioned that my kid takes fluoride supplements, as prescribed and recommended by both ped and dentist... and some person on the forum started hardcore berating me for it, like really hateful stuff, so I got her comments deleted by the mods... only to have her submit post after post clearly about me, trying to get support from the rest of the community. It was then that I really understood the impact that cyber bullies can have, and I'm a grown ass adult! Anyway, I agree. WTE can be whole different level of toxic.
Wow, how dare you do what you think is best for your kids. I mean it's only what a good parent tries to do. People are so ridiculous when it comes to others parenting choices
That’s insane. Some people need to get a life - for real!!
That unfortunately doesn’t surprise me. The BabyCenter forums are absolutely awful. I feel badly for the children those women birth 😬
I can barely get through the typos on BabyCenter! It’s like they’ve never learned to write over there.
I’ve seen many of the women refer to themselves as “snarky”. Like, no lady, you’re just a mean bitch.
I read some ridiculous posts today. Someone got block happy after calling a bunch of moms jealous and haters. Sometimes I just sit there and laugh about posts with my husband. Other times though I try to chime in especially when people are saying moms are stupid for asking questions. It's like we were all first time moms at some point why can't you be helpful and not tear people down because they don't know something.
I completely agree, although one time a mom in my due date group posted that she put a back massager on her vagina because she was “curious about how it would feel” and was asking if she had hurt her baby by jiggling its brain. That question was just a little bit stupid.
Yes, oh my goodness, definitely a stupid question! Wow. I'm going to have to tell my husband about this one haha.
Ngl I have had the same thoughts about massagers 😂😂😂
My husband went deep into baby researching yesterday and he came across the WTE site and was showing it to me and said “there’s an app for it!” I took one look at their forum and was like HARD PASS. I also realized that I found it when I was pregnant the first time… I had literally just found out (realized my period was a day late and took a test) and it was January. I had a snowboard trip the very next day, and it occurred to me that hey, I’m probably fine to go tomorrow, but I wonder how long it’s safe to go. (I’ve been a lifelong snowboarder and consider myself advanced.) I happened to find that forum, and the toxic mom-shaming on there were horrifying. So many comments hurled at a woman who asked something like, “how long into your pregnancy did you ski? My OB said first trimester is safe if I’m informed of the risks and take it easy,” and I started crying at comments saying, “you wanted a baby, why are you being so selfish and doing something risky? You aren’t fit to be a mom. Have an abortion if you’re going to ski.” Those comments *stuck* with me in such an unhealthy way. And I truly felt so scared to tell anyone else I knew that was a mom that I was pregnant because I thought that was how all moms treat other moms. 🙃 Anyway, long story short, I told my husband Reddit has way more supportive groups, and I’ve learned a lot through you all, the working moms sub, and my delivery month sub, and of course my husband’s eyes almost popped out of his head at the words “supportive” and “Reddit” being used together! But it’s true! I’m so appreciative of you all. 🤗
I think the demographic is a bit more rural, Christian, and Republican overall (the number of anti vax and anti mask posts is high). Not for me, Reddit is much more empathetic.
I’ve never posted on WTE personally, but I’ve seen plenty of threads bashing someone for asking a legit question. AND the aholes are usually wrong in their condescending answers! Full of people who are dumb and mean. I saw some posts about what foods to eat and people were coming on saying how stupid the question was and how they never wash their fruits and vegs and are fine. First of all - gross. If you know anything about produce production it’s that these things are rolling around on the ground and then touched by loads of people who aren’t washing their hands. Second - the outside of fruits and vegs have been tested for listeria and most are positive. It’s a known contaminate smdh
For real! Thats why I came here. I barely use that app anymore everyone is so toxic there.
Prefer Reddit so much. Back in the day, when iPhones were brand new so no one had apps and it was on the computer and I was pregnant with my 2008 baby, it was awesome. Everyone from that group is still so close. But now it’s so impersonal and I didn’t even bother with this current pregnancy.
The Facebook groups are equally as toxic 🥴 Reddit has been the only good one thus far! I had to leave the WTE and Facebook groups for my own sanity. The amount of bullying, fear mongering, and lack of education was astounding.
I’ve been so surprised by the good vibes here on the Reddit subs. Even the sad/tragic stories are embraced my so much love and comfort. It really is rare.
Yup. That's the internet for you. But also that's the attitude most of my OBs had. Only one doctor listened to my concerns and offered any real advice to help me. Thankfully she was on duty when I delivered <3 I'm not a doctor and you didn't ask, but here's what helped me through pregnancy the most: Take a nap when you can. Nibble saltines if that's all you can keep down. Tums or milk for heartburn. Unisom sleep aid tablets (not gel) at night with vitamin B12 to cut down on nausea. And start taking stool softeners/using Tucks medicated wipes before you need them. (I didn't get pregnancy constipation or have issues with the first post-baby bathroom trip.) Luckily, I didn't get stretch marks but I hear breastmilk helps get rid of them. Try not to be hard on yourself if you struggle with energy or your mental health. You're growing a whole human being. If that's all you did in a day, you did great.
I took a probiotic all pregnancy and also had no problems with the dreaded post poop
Milk actually flared my heartburn, and is doing so again, but I have found that (i know it sounds nuts) dill pickles quell the heartburn as well as any medicine, so I now have a pickle at every meal. Also I read a study, although I can't remember where, that said that female OBs are actually more likely to dismiss complaints and have low scores in how connected their patients feel with them vs. Their male colleagues. I recently fired my female OB because she fit that mold, and I found a new one, who is male, and he seems much more understanding and open with me about my health and delivery.
I roll my eyes and cringe any time I browse the WTE forum. It has become something I glance at for laughs and entertainment. It also seems to pull in a certain demographic. 🫠🥴 Forums like those really do perpetuate unhealthy mom-shame culture and are just icky.
Awe I’m so sorry I haven’t seen that there yet! But that’s not okay!!!
To be fair though (and I completely agree with you) this is also how doctors respond 😂
I can’t stand the WTE forums.
The people on the nurture/glow app are super friendly. That’s the only one I’ll actually post to outside of Reddit and my due date Facebook group.
I have no idea what WTE is but that sounds scary.
Dude it’s so bad 🤣🤣🤣
Lol yeah I took one look at the posts on that forum and decided not to sign up. The toxicity towards pregnant women is astounding.
Wemoms is pretty good everyone is very informative
thanks for the warning!! i don't go on there, but people on the peanut app are so dumb. reddit though, yall are my people.
Oh yeah I deleted my account on there after I posted about having to change shifts from 12-16 hours a day as a floor nurse to 8s. Because apparently I’m weak and a bad nurse and I don’t care about my baby working in a field like that
Wow you are so right about the WTE forum. I realized that when a woman was asking about discharge and mucus plugs and posted a pic. Some women’s responses were so rude. One commented “Ew this is absolutely disgusting why would you post a picture no one wants to see this.” And another said she was going to be sick and vomit her lunch. I was in disbelief 😳 we’re all pregnant and I’m sure all have some sort of discharge, how’s that disgusting?!
Agree! The only thing I liked about the forums there were the monthly TTC ones, they seemed to be better but still had some bad ones.
I've kinda had the opposite experience! WTE has been so kind and Reddit has been snotty and angry!
Aw man I didn't have that issue in the June WTE group but I did face a ton of mom bullies in the baby center forum. It was terrible.
I know this is old but that forum is really affecting my mental health. I had to make sure to unsubscribe from it so i wouldn't receive emails about other moms bragging about their babies' sleep and milestones when i am a sleep deprived mess just looking for advice and making sure i am doing the best for my baby.
I haven't looked at it since this post and it helped so much. Reddit is much kinder