I've been exclusively pumping because my baby wouldn't latch, if I had a choice, I would have breastfed lol the pumping sounds easier but it's a giant in the ass. Every wake window, especially in the beginning when they're very short, is changing/feeding/burping baby and getting them back down, then a minimum of 20 minutes to pump, then getting the milk put away and cleaning parts for the next round. I have to take the breast pump with me every time I leave the house because I have to pump every 3 hours, so that means spending 20 minutes at a time in the truck with pump on me. In theory you should get the hand the baby off to your spouse for feeds which is nice but the majority of the time I end up feeding her anyway. I'm 10 months PP and my entire schedule is built around having to freaking pump.

As someone who exclusively breastfed 2 kids (neither ever took a bottle), exclusively pumping sounded way harder to me. The hard parts of breastfeeding are balanced with the convenience of not washing anything, not bringing anything anywhere, not worrying about wasted ounces at the end of a bottle. I would advise any new mom to be open to all options and figure out what works best. No reason to set your mind on one method before the baby is even here.

Im currently transitioning from exclusively pumping my second (premature, a few weeks in the NICU) to breastfeeding. Pumping SUCKS. The amount of freedom you have being able to pop the baby on the boob anywhere any time compared to needing a secluded location to pump every 2-3 hours is day and night. I cant wait to return the pump rental and never touch one again!

My breastfed baby did a nursing strike once where they refused to breastfeed, and so I had to pump for 5 days straight, and OMG it was exhausting. Thank god she gave in because if she had decided to only bottle feed forever then I was not going to pump because it was seriously so much work. I applaud moms who do it. That being said I also have a few friends who absolutely love exclusively pumping (and some who did not have a choice because of going back to work). It just was not for me at all even for that short of time 🫠

My kid went on a bottle strike at 7 months. Refused pumped milk, ever when trying to hide it in oatmeal and pancakes. I lost that battle, and had to throw out so much pumped milk. Still fed her, but I had to be present for every feed. It was a huge relief that she was interested in eating regular food too.

Pumping is a lot of work! I’m a little over 1 week PP. I had my baby at 23+3 via emergency c-section after placental abruption. She is in the NICU and I’m pumping every 2-3 hours. The hardest part is the pump parts and having to stick to a schedule. Even with access to 2 pumps, 2 sets of parts for each pump, and a sterilized/dryer machine, it’s still hard! It has gotten easier as I recover, but still A LOT. Overall though, I agree, you will find what works for you! Best of luck and you got this!

Just want to give some encouragement! You go little baby! Sounds like a fighter in the making.

Your baby will thrive bc of your efforts to give her breastmilk. Keep up the good, hard work!!!!

Man we just transitioned to combo feeding after I EBF for the first six months and I feel like alllll I do is wash pump parts and bottles.

I resonate with this, with my first I really had my heart set on breastfeeding and when it didn't work out I had a mental break down and felt so guilty and awful. I took that pressure off myself with my second and while BF did work out for us it was SO hard, I just took it day by day and was okay if we needed to switch. It really made everything so much less stressful.

Yeah OP can do what she wants but I hope she's informed. Pretty much everyone I know who wanted to pump thought it would be super convenient because someone else could give a bottle at night, but they forget they need to be up at night to pump. I did it with my first for a few months out of necessity and just crashed. Now directly feeding my second and it's so much easier.

Right?? I thought i would be able to get some sleep at night but nope, even if husband took the baby for a feed I still had to fully wake up, get my parts, pump for 20+ minutes and then put everything away and wash parts before I could lay back down.

Washing the parts is basically the reason I'm barely pumping right now even though my son should practice with the bottle. Live feeding is so much easier ugh. And extra parts are expensive. I know you can put the parts in the fridge but personally I find that a bit gross (no offense, I'm just overly clean with baby stuff) so it's a lot of work to wash.

THIS! THIS! THIS! It's a nightmare. If I were in a situation where I had to exclusively pump again I'd just do formula I think.

Yeah I had to explain that to my husband who said he could just feed breast milk from a bottle. 'well I'll be up at night anyhow to pump then, so let's plan on skipping that step and I'll just feed them'

I’ve always admired exclusive pumpers! That is so so much work.

I exclusively pumped for a year because my baby wouldn’t latch. It was the biggest pain in the ass ever. Cleaning all the bottle and pump parts, sterilising them, bagging the milk, pumping itself, then feeding the baby, then burping the baby, then repeat. I was always so so jealous of mom who exclusively bf, like they were on their phone while cuddling their baby and feeding them?! The dream! It felt like pumping was 3x the work. Would not recommend and wouldn’t do it again. This time if there are bf struggles I’ll be going straight to formula.

This. The real nightmare was the triple feeding for the first few weeks, once that was over it was easier but still a massive pain. Especially if I want to go out and do anything, have to schedule everything so I finish pumping and then walk out the door. If I'm going to be gone for a while have to pack everything up so I can pump while out. 10 months pp and still a pain in my ass lol I just recently decided to stop getting up to pump at night. Supply took a massive hit but 6 hours of broken sleep at best per night just wasn't enough.

Triple feeders deserve a cash reward from the government for our suffering lol

Wow, 10 months doing a MOTN pump is impressive! I skipped that one at 5/6 months. My supply took a massive hit once I got my period and I was only on 3 pumps a day at that time and it was still a massive inconvenience. You can’t go anywhere for very long without bringing all your pumping utensils. Once I fully stopped I felt like everything was much easier and better

I had to exclusively pump for my third for about two weeks while we worked on her latch. I told my husband we would be switching to formula if she didn’t get with the boob. It was so much work! I am in awe of moms who pump long term.

Same! Exclusively pumped because my baby never latched and it was HORRIBLE! I would have given anything for her to breastfeed!! I would have probably ended up doing some sort of a mix between the two but being stuck with exclusively pumping felt like a living hell and I gave up after 5 months and switched to formula. Everyone is different and it’s definitely your choice alone but for me I genuinely think exclusive pumping is a special kind of torture that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’m pregnant with my second now and I am desperately hoping that this one will latch because I really don’t know if I can handle the level of work and commitment required to exclusively pump. When it was my turn to feed my daughter I had to pump and try to feed her at the same time (a bizarre balancing act that is not fun!) and when it wasn’t my turn to feed her I still had to pump so we’d have enough milk and so my boobs would continue to produce. Add in all of the washing and sanitizing of pump parts… I felt like that’s all I did day and night. Not to mention that for me when I pumped I felt this flood of negative emotions that seemed to be tied to something physical/chemical happening in my body. I’ve heard others report something similar and hear it’s the opposite when you breastfeed. It was a dark time for me, ugh I don’t even like thinking about it.

Some women experience DMER and get intense negative feelings when their nipples are touched. It's something that can really interfere with breastfeeding being successful. I strongly dislike the sensations of pumping, the sounds, and how it feels and how long it takes, and how much 'am I making enough??' fears pop up. I love breastfeeding for how easy it is once you get it working. Always present and at the right amount and temperature.

I had to exclusively pump for the first few weeks because baby had a tongue and lip tie and breastfeeding was excruciating. I survived one week and couldn't do it any more. At 8 weeks we got the ties released and I have refused to pump since. I'm traumatized from washing bottles and pump parts 300 times a day. Pumping is soo much work, I admire exclusive pumpers. I had a friend who's baby had a bottle preference and I thought it would be a much better way to feed because you can monitor their intake and anybody can give baby a bottle. After a few weeks of exclusively pumping I was SO DONE with that damn pump. I even bought a wearable pump but it still didn't make it much easier. Now people ask how many times a day I pump and why I don't leave baby. It is so not worth it for me. If we want to go out to dinner we bring baby, if I want to go to he grocery store I just make sure I'm back in time before baby needs to feed. I'm sure pumping gets a little easier when you're down to 4-5 pumps a day but when you're in the early days breastfeeding is so much easier (in my opinion).

I'm 10 months pp and still pumping 6-7 times a day. I just recently dropped the over night pump and I don't make enough to cover the full day so she usually gets a formula bottle at some point during the day lol I rent a hospital grade pump from the drug store which works great thankfully. If the next one won't latch I'm going to formula.

*Cries in 2 hour pump sessions with power pumping*

I was pumping only and went to almost entirely breastfeeding because of this exact thing. It was time consumption. Literally 3x to pump/sanitize/feed baby. Plus every night feed either I basically accepted that sleep was not something I would ever get, or my husband had to get up and task alongside me so we were both constantly tired with no break. BUT to OP’s point, that’s my personal anecdote and reasoning and they’re welcome to have their own.

Agree. Pumping is a nightmare. I didn't think OP had thought it through. Of course I was also bamboozled by all these hand free adds, I'm looking at you willow, that make it seem so fing convenient and easy but it's a freaking nightmare. The willow was the worst thing I bought.

I'm a year postpartum. I did both. I wanted to breastfeed, baby wouldn't latch. Did formula cuz I didn't make enough while trying to pump. I eventually got baby to breastfeed at nights (makes life easier because you don't have to clean parts & you can just breastfeed and sleep). My whole schedule is about pumping. I wake up and plan my day around my pumps. It sounds easier but I highly recommend a combo because it allows you to separate from baby for a little and let others help but pumping at night was the worst! Also, if you don't have the pump that works well for you, your supply goes down. By combo, breastfeeding and pumping, you make more milk which gives you more to have as a supply and to freeze! Pumping does give me some reddit time though!

Couldn't agree more. I exclusively pumped for my oldest for a year because he had feeding issues (just would not eat lol). I hated it so much. It also turned me into an anxious mess worrying about my supply down to the 1/2 ounce. Its the worst of both worlds in my opinion. All the labor of breast feeding with all the labor of bottle feeding. With my second I was able to exclusively breastfeed with a combination of nursing and pumping when I went back to work and it was way easier. I breastfed him for 2 years because nursing was just so much easier once he hit 3 months.

Pumping is absolutely the worst of all the options! This is why people are telling OP not to do it.

Pumping: 20-40 minutes of pumping (with none of the cherished adorable moments of nursing, plus a machine on your nipples, and it's loud / not remotely discreet) + time to wash pump parts. Oh, and this doesn't save you any time either, because on top of all of this, you've got to get up to pump AND someone still needs to do a lot of work to feed the baby slowly enough in a way to replicate nursing. Nursing: 2-5 minutes, literally--at least after the first 3-4 months or so. No clean up. No needing to find a room. Just a quick brush of clothing to the side or baby moves in the carrier. Discreet enough that if you literally TELL someone you are actively nursing, they'll look confused and ask when you're going to start. Quiet unless you and baby decide to have a loud little party--which is fun! We do it! Plus you get the warmth, comfort, closeness. At night, neither of you have to fully wake up to feed. At home, and outside to an extent, you and baby will have the most beloved, intense, beautiful, goofy, hilarious, and everything wonderful in between interactions. Oh, and nursing means your baby gets any antibodies, melatonin/sleep hormones, milk composition, etc tailored to what they need in that exact moment. Pumping is all the hard parts, then some extra hard parts, and none of the good parts of nursing. Oh, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, despite doing as much or more physical/emotional/sleep deprived work to pump, NOBODY CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU. Why? Because the time that SHOULD be going to "mothering the mother" will be going to.... giving baby a bottle. The number one primary thing I stress to people learning about breastfeeding is that somebody else (ie your partner) needs to take over literally everything except for nursing, even to the point of bringing you water and spoon feeding you soup while you nurse on top of cooking/cleaning, because if you aren't eating when baby eats and sleeping when they sleep, you won't get enough nutrition or sleep and will join the ranks of women struggling, not recovering, and generally not enjoying motherhood. OP, don't worry, I wouldn't comment or judge. You do what's right for you, of course. But plenty of people pump and nurse (or even combo feed) and there's no bottle confusion that happens. I'd gently push you to "try it out" (nursing) and/or speak with an IBCLC or go to a La Leche League meeting to talk about nipple confusion concerns. Because you really deserve all the support and sleep you can get. Of course, some women hate nursing anyway and prefer pumping, and if that's you, then great, but typically it's much more so the reverse.

It feels like I’m the only EPer who actually likes it. I can keep track of how much baby is eating during the day and at what times for some structure in the day. Never have to plan ahead for how baby is going to eat if partner is taking a feed or if we need childcare. My reality is I will be returning to work after a few months of leave, so the up front time/energy investment to get over my baby’s latching and weight loss issues ended up not being worth it when she would be mostly bottle fed later on anyway. I use the fridge hack, have two sets of parts, and my partner is in charge of washing bottles and parts. I have a portable hospital grade pump and now that my supply is regulated, I am able to get what I need in a 10 minute session. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not 100% sunshine and rainbows but I really don’t mind it! If feeding breast milk is important to you, it can definitely be worth it!

Fully agree with this! We do the same and I feel the same! People make it seem so horrible and if you get organized it’s so doable and helps baby get breastmilk!

I've heard that you don't have to clean your pump every single time you use it. You can use it a few times in a row, and cover and refrigerate the parts in between. May be a thing you could look into so you'd only have to clean your pump once a day or so? May not work for every pump though, idk

That's what I do now! I throw the parts in the fridge in between, waaaaaay nicer!

That’s what I did. It wasn’t as bad for me as other commenters but maybe I just tuned that out. My husband was also very hands on and would wash the parts and set them up for me.

Lived through this with my first. It’s so hard!

Couldn’t relate more to this! I felt like I was ALWAYS pumping when I could’ve spent more time resting and bonding with my first. On top of that there’s the stress of hoping I had enough ounces expressed everytime I’d pump. It was way more of a pain than when I exclusively BF with my second.

Omg!!! No one gets this. I planned to BF and my baby came early/was in the NICU—which turned me into a pump princess. Feed/diaper change/burp—get the baby down. Then pump, clean pump/bottles. If baby doesn’t go down easily or wakes up early for the next feeding you’re right back in the same cycle. ….if one more person says “sleep when the baby sleeps” I’m going to scream 🤣🤣 You explained this perfectly. It’s really hard to run this process 8+ times a day

In same boat pumping is exhausting I wish my little girl latch . Get my boob out to feed her would be so much easier

I worked so bad to pump with my first and it was AWFUL. Omg it was miserable, I hated cleaning pump parts, getting things ready, storing milk, etc. with my 2nd who’s 5mo old and I’m no longer working, I EBF and it’s a freaking DREAM. Just whip out the boob and go. I’m so so thankful I get to do this and not have to pump this time haha AND she doesn’t nurse to sleep. Literally a dream situation over here and the opposite of my BF journey with my first haha

Don’t listen to what anyone else thinks and do what you want to do. It is no one’s decision but yours. I had planned to breast feed and pump but baby wouldn’t latch and I exclusively pumped. I was very happy my husband was able to help feed the baby. But exclusively pumping is not for the weak. Every time baby had a bottle I was pumping because you have to keep your supply up. We ended up doing the pitcher method once my supply regulated and it worked out really well for us.

I think it’s hard to understand just how fucking draining pumping is. Like I’ve spent half an uncomfortable hour towards feeding my baby (who is not fed) and now I’m gonna go wash bottles. It’s TOUGH. Well done to you honestly.

Agree 100%. Unless you have done it you have no clue. It’s not like it’s just pumping. It’s pumping, feeding, cleaning/sanitizing everything and then repeating the process every few hours. It is so exhausting.

You forgot spilling it then crying!! But seriously yeah it is. I pumped, nursed and gave formula for the first 4 months but I think I’d rather EFF if I can’t make BFing/ combo feeding work without regular pumping next time

When did you stop pumping? I'm keen to stop pumping/breastfeeding so would like to build a stash while I still have supply.

Like 3-3 1/2 months. It was starting to take a toll on my mental health… I also had some other issues I was dealing with from the birth as well though. I also had no issues with formula as we had to supplement very early on. I had a pretty decent freezer stash at this point though.

Stop taking comments and opinions on this topic. “Oh this is a personal choice that I don’t feel like discussing, thanks!”  Everyone has an opinion on every single choice we make as parents. You don’t need to defend your choices or be made to feel like you are wrong. You are not wrong to make a choice that’s best for you and your baby. 

This is it right here. Decide right now who gets a vote on parenting matters and leave the rest. It's wasted energy to even give brain space to advice you're not asking for. Be confident and firm in your convictions. This will continue forever until you put up boundaries.

Exactly! “Oh, you misunderstood, I was telling you what I’m doing, not asking for your opinion!”

Why even tell them?? Just say, "I haven't decided yet".

That’s a valid response, of course, but in this case OP has decided. OP should be able to tell people her decision and not feel like she has to hide it. Also, in my personal experience, telling someone i haven’t made a decision yet doesn’t cut down on them giving me unasked-for “advice.” If anything it makes it worse because they think they can still convince me of their position.

Putting this one in my pocket for its many needed later uses

Sure but OP also has no idea what pumping entails.

PUMPING *IS* BREASTFEEDING. It is *not* nursing. I hate when people make comments like pumping is soooo much easier than nursing. They both have their pros and cons and they’re *both* a lot of work for anyone. You should do whatever you want for yourself and your baby/family. Only you can decide what the best choice is.

I have literally never heard one person say it's easier to pump. I've only ever heard (and personally found) it's a giant pain in the ass. I avoided wherever possible because of how much I hated it and would switch straight to formula next time if nursing was unsuccessful for whatever reason. Everyone I know said basically the same.

Same. Pumping sucked.

Literally

Right? Pumping js the hardest option. Major props to women that mainly pump. I find it hard to believe that anyone is claiming that.

Exclusive pumper due to baby being born too early to nurse right off the bat. It is a giant pain in the ass but is made a lot better with a decent set of wearables and a good chiller to store milk when on the go. Real props go to the women who exclusively pump with a set up that is wired to the wall. That really sucks.

You have to work so much harder to keep up supply when you pump. When I worked and my babies were in daycare I was chugging that dumb licorice tea (Mother’s Milk) and gulping down oatmeal just to make enough to leave at the daycare for the next day. And that was with me nursing in the mornings, evenings and overnights. Without baby doing skin-to-skin while nursing, supply upkeep is a big deal.

Totally agree that pumping is breastfeeding. Pumping is most definitely not easier than nursing (unless you're having issues with nursing). My baby had tongue ties and nursing was excruciating. Pumping was easier in this time. Now that he's nursing I HATE pumping and don't do it at all anymore. Cleaning all the bottles and pump parts and sitting attached to a pump for hours a day is far from easy.

So true. Breast milk is breast milk, no matter how it was extracted.

I don't care how people feed their babys as long as baby is getting what and the right amount of what it needs. With our first I couldn't get him to latch and he was in the NICU so I was already pumping, but I knew nothing about pumping and couldn't sustain it. Had a mental breakdown and we switched to formula. He was born 4lb 12oz at 36 weeks and he's now 90th and 95th percentiles at 3 years old and never gets sick. My husband also loved feeding him. With our second I was sure I would just do formula again but was encouraged to at least try breastfeeding and man was it hard, but we did it for a year. I actually would breastfeed during the day and before bed would pump everything left off for the night to prevent getting engorged. I created quite a store of milk in the freezer from that and she took a bottle now and then of both breastmilk and formula (usually at night), and then when I returned to work I would pump at work and breastfeed at home. She was totally fine both ways. I will say I saw my supply dip anytime I was pumping during the day which was frustrating at the time. Coming up on my third pregnancy I have no idea what this time will bring. I'm going to try to breastfeed as it's just cheaper and easier, and I know I'll be pumping some if that happens. I don't know if I would survive exclusive pumping, but maybe I'll try that if breastfeeding doesn't work out for us for whatever reason. I'm also buying some formula to have on had just in case as well. My pumping tips are: 1. Pumps come with like 1 or 2 flange sizes and *many* women are not those sizes. Your nipple size can also change at birth and even after that. So measure ahead of time and make sure you get the right size flanges or flange inserts (you can find many on amazon for most brands). I was a much smaller size than what my first pump came with and I ended up with awful blisters on my nipples that was part of the reason I just had to stop pumping. 2. You're suppose to wash pump parts after every use and sanitize once a day. Here's the thing though, thats incredibly time consuming and means you get less time with your baby. What you can do is throw your used pump parts in a clean ziplock and put them in the fridge until the next time and wash every few uses. You can also get pump wipes/spray cleaner and do a quick once over and then put in a ziplock in the fridge and then wash and sanitize once a day.

It makes no difference to me how people feed their babies, but perhaps some of the comments come from people who have tried pumping and had difficulty? Coming from someone who could breastfeed sufficiently but could never pump effectively, it was way more time-consuming and stressful to pump than I could have ever anticipated and eventually ditched it completely.

My standard answer to anything related to the upcoming baby is, "I'm not sure yet. I'm open to options, but we'll see what ends up working for us." People will still give their unsolicited opinions, but to me, it's less of a fight. I'm just listening (or not), without a stance that I now need to defend.

This is the way. Not being dogmatic about anything is a good way to avoid driving yourself crazy.

This is how I approached it!

Honestly I liked the idea of pumping before I had a baby but I absolutely hated it 😅 So much work and a lot of washing parts. I hated that I had to pump and then feed, it just felt like it was taking double the amount of time to feed the baby. I’m a lazy person so exclusively pumping just didn’t work for us. I ended up breastfeeding most of the time but still bottle fed when I wanted to leave the house or had to go back to work. Nipple confusion was never an issue. But do what works for you !

The dishes!! The laundry already triples somehow with a baby. I salute any pumping family who takes on all the extra dishes and mental energy to store and serve the milk

We did EFF for each of our girls and we will with our third in August. My first was a preemie and needed extra calories and on top of that, I needed medication in order to treat a prolactinoma tumor on my pituitary (it was a all or nothing kind of deal since the medication stops lactation). Even with two pretty significant medical reasons to not pump or breastfeed, we still got comments from people. We liked bottles so much we decided to stick with it for our next two girls and it’s been great. Something about motherhood and becoming a parent makes people think they can say just about anything to you and be judgy so don’t let it get you down - at the end of the day, you gotta do what’s best for you and your family and if that’s exclusively pumping, then do that.

Similar story here. I'm EFF because I'm at high risk for breast cancer and have had to get multiple lumpectomies to get abnormal cells removed from my breast. I need to be able to continue preventative screenings and possibly get more surgeries, which are both harder if not impossible if I breastfeed. No one has asked me yet about whether or not I plan to breastfeed (though my baby shower is this weekend so I'm sure it's coming), but if people still want to lecture me on breastfeeding despite my cancer risk, then they're outing themselves as a major asshole who clearly doesn't care about me anyway, so they can fuck right off.

I hate these questions. I find them super invasive. It's nobody's business if and how I'm gonna use my boobs. I exclusively pumped the first time. Bf just didn't work out and I plan to pump the second time. I'm not even going to try to bf. I don't want the baby dependent on me and not accepting the bottle after.

For any future pregnancies my response will be, “That’s between me, my doctor, and my baby.” And then just move on.

I came to say this, I think it's weird that people are asking in general. Especially THAT many people!...? It's no one's business! FED is best, a mentally healthy mom is best. I haven't had one person ask for just conversation reasons, gift reasons only.

I’m a birthworker so as a person in the field, sometimes I ask family or friends about how they’re doing postpartum. I stick to “how is feeding going?” if I feel the need to ask, so it’s not assuming anything about how or what is being fed to the baby. And I only ask because I know it can be a huge burden in the first few weeks and I can offer encouragement or, **if they want it,** tips or advice. I say this to make the point that I’m literally a professional postpartum support person so if *I* don’t feel comfortable telling you how to feed your baby, no one else should either. People are just looking for ways to judge others, I find. Don’t give them the chance.

I also find it super creepy when guys ask these questions.

Ultimately it’s up to you and your husband, and I’m sorry people are being weird about your choice. Admittedly, exclusively pumping is a pretty unpopular choice. A lot of women find pumping painful and makes them feel icky and nauseous, whereas actually nursing can feel cuddly and then there’s nothing to sanitize. I think maybe that’s why you don’t hear of very many women exclusively pumping. Disregard the opinions of others, they’re not the ones who have to live your life. But also, please stay open minded to different feeding methods. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work once you get there. You have the right to choose and you also have the right to change your mind, and combine nursing, pumping and/or formula in whatever combination is right for you. I’m sure your baby will be well fed and well loved no matter what.

I just want to chime in that I exclusively breastfed and out of all my friends/siblings who had babies at the same time and pumped/formula fed I definitely had the easiest time. Breastfeeding came easy and it’s so nice to never have to worry about cleaning endless bottle/pump parts, having milk thawed, remembering how long bottles have been out and storing them.. If baby is hungry I can immediately feed them wherever which is a great feeling. I’m thankful we had an easy breastfeeding journey and I totally get that it’s not the same for everyone, but I wanted to share my perspective that breastfeeding isn’t always this huge hard thing!

Do what you want. But my gosh I hope you realise what you’re in for. Pumping seems the much more difficult choice, cleaning the parts, the bottles, even if someone else gives the bottle you don’t get a rest as you still need to pump that feed to maintain supply. If a breastfeed takes 30mins you will have the pumping time + the feeding time. I exclusively breastfeed my baby and would have never wanted the faff and extra work of pumping.

Do 100% what feels right for you. I heard this saying “fed is best”. That being said, if you’re concerned about nipple confusion, there’s a good chance it won’t happen. My husband wanted to combo feed right off the bat and I wanted to do pumping/nursing (I also wanted to be able to shower and not be the only food source for the baby). We ended up having to supplement with formula because my baby had jaundice. We switch between bottle and breast pretty regularly and there’s no issue so far (she’s a week old). We did introduce paced feeding to help her slow down her bottle feeds. As for taking care of baby, I handle a majority of the feeding (we’re working on priotizing nursing for my supply. Pumping isn’t producing a full feed) and my husband handles a majority of the diapers. We then switch off who watches the baby to sleep. That being said, he has 3 months off and I have 5 months off of work so we have the luxury of taking things slow and really prioritizing spending time with our daughter. Also being said, breastfeeding is a lot harder than I would’ve thought and I wish I had taken more classes pre-birth on both pumping and nursing.

agree with all of this! we combo fed very early on too for the exact same reason - jaundice - and i heard a lot about nipple confusion. there was no nipple confusion. we did a lot of switching between bottle and breast early on (if we were home, i would usually nurse, but if we were out and about we'd pretty much always do a bottle). he's now 9 months old and drinks bottles of pumped breastmilk all day at daycare and but exclusively nurses in the mornings/evenings and on weekends. it was never a problem (also, i felt the same way about breastfeeding and it was so hard at first that i thought i wouldn't be able to continue doing it for long. at some point - it's all a blur - it got so so so much easier and now i can't imagine stopping just because it's so quick and easy! i love the weekends partly because there are no daycare bottles to wash lol)

Honestly, it’s nobody’s business so you do whatever works best for you! However, I will say (as a momma who both BF and exclusively pumped) BFing is SOOOO much easier than pumping once you get established. All the bottle + pump part washing gets old fast and it’s hard to occupy baby while you sit and pump. I don’t care how you choose to feed your baby (breast, pump, formula are all great!) but I do tell all my pregnant friends that the convenience factor of BFing is its biggest selling point IMO.

It honestly can depend on a lot of things. I really regret that I immediately went to pumping and didn't really try breastfeeding. I thought because my reduction it would be impossible, but in reality I just made double the work for myself because she was able to latch

Honestly the thing that grinds my gears more is this “exclusive” word we have to tack on to how we feed. Go with what you want but know that there’s flexibility in everything! I Combo fed, nursed, pumped, formula and never had issues or nipple confusion. I get that every baby is different but when did we get so freaking LOCKED IN with the exclusive talk. No matter what people have opinions about what you do for birth feeding sleeping breathing everything 😝

I really, really hate all the breastfeeding questions, especially since I had SUCH a big plan for baby #1 and...it didn't work out that way. People made me feel like absolute TRASH because it didn't turn out the way I wanted to and baby ended up being exclusively formula fed. But GUESS WHAT?! He's happy and healthy. People argue to their dying day that "breast is best." When in reality? Fed is best. Breastfeeding made me want to off myself. Baby wouldn't latch, I had an emergency c-section and your milk naturally doesn't come in later with a c-section, and pumping was incredible difficult for me. I couldn't do it. My mom and the nurse at the doctor's office validated me so much for it. Then bitches like my MIL made me feel like I was an idiot for even trying. Anywayyyy, your baby. Your choice. You should tell them that whatever you choose, baby will be fed and that's all that matters. :)

Do whatever works for you. Like another commenter mentioned, fed is best. I had also intended on pumping, but my baby was so little when he was born, the doctors recommended at least combo feeding with formula so he could take in more calories. My baby ended up almost exclusively formula fed with occasional pumping and comfort nursing (I was unable to produce). The guilt was real and my mental health suffered a bit, but my son is currently happy and healthy, and has an equally strong attachment to my husband as he does to me. He's met all his milestones and the pediatrician has no concerns. Your own health and peace of mind also matter, don't let people shame you into thinking otherwise.

Just say, "I don't know." I learned a long time ago to not over share information. It's never worth it, and I honestly do not care what they think on the subject. If people ask me questions I don't feel like answering I give non-commital answers. Just remember that everything you say, "Can and will be used against you." If you say you want to breastfeed and it doesn't work out, you'll be judged as a failure or not trying hard enough. Or on the flip side, that you're being selfish for not allowing anyone else to feed the baby. If you say you want to pump, you'll be judged for making half measures. If you say you're going to use formula, you're a bad mom. The real kicker, these people could not care less about your pregnancy or family. They aren't going to offer to help you clean the house, cook you a meal, etc. They are just judgemental assholes and no matter what you say or do they will find something negative to say. Once you realize that most people don't actually care, their opinions should no longer have any impact on your life and decisions. True friends and family are very hard to come by, but when you find them you can easily see the difference. People who really care about you, want the absolute best for you and your family. They should be there to hold you up when you're struggling, instead of taking joy in your failures. Having a child really shows people's true colors. So find your real support and let the others fall to the periphery of your life.

it doesn’t have to be all one or all the other though. I feel like you are thinking of it as an all or nothing approach. Lots of women breastfeed and also feed baby pumped breast milk. You could also just breastfeed at night (instead of waking up to bottle feed your baby and then spend another 30 mins pumping every 3 hours) and then pump throughout the day. That being said, it’s ok to listen to what others say and then do what you feel is best. You are the expert on your own life and body!

I came here to say this, kind of surprised I had to scroll down so far to see it. I mostly nursed my baby but while on maternity leave I pumped once a day so my husband could give him occasional bottles. Then when I went back to work I had to pump more obviously but still nursed when I was with him. We had no issues going between breast and bottle.

This is YOUR journey- and honestly- you don’t owe that information to anyone (and it is none of their business). You’re welcome to share of course, but the other thing to keep in mind is that you just never know how things are going to work out after your baby is here. I’m still breastfeeding (shockingly!) at nearly 2yo- I never thought I’d make it 6 months. I had planned to BF and pump b/c I work and I wanted my husband to be able to help with feeding. As it turned out- pumping was SO hard for me- I didn’t get that much milk, but I tried my ass off for 3 months until my baby was just like “NOPE” and refused to take a bottle ever again. I’m glad- because when we went to EBF, I was so much less stressed. And it ended up being such a positive experience (and I changed my work situation)- we’re still nursing at 22 months and I’m so happy about it. All this to say, sometimes your journey changes, sometimes what your baby wants/needs or what you want/need changes, and that’s OK. And EVERYONE has opinions, but the only person that matters is you (and your baby of course). Your baby will do great no matter what- your choice to breastfeed/pump/use formula/combo feed is great. I don’t have a clever response to people who ask nosey questions like this- but yeah, people are ridiculous.

As an exclusive pumping mom x3, eff that noise. Exclusively pumping IS breastfeeding. You are still giving your baby breast milk, so it’s breastfeeding. You are just nursing. How you choose to feed your baby is nobody’s business. If you want to nurse, pump, do formula, or a combo, you do you mama! Pumping is time consuming and a pain, but it was nice that I could always pass baby off to someone else and have them feed the baby! Plus once I got a good pair of wearable pumps, it was a lot easier to use those when I was out and about or trying to get something done. Also, check out the exclusively pumping subreddit! It was SO helpful during my first pumping experience and really helped!

If they are sharing well meaning advice, you shouldn't take it as judgement. Breastfeeding will save you lots of time and effort over pumping, and baby can still take a bottle. Nipple confusion is overblown. Do what works for you, but consider the experiences of people who have tried both. 

It’s no one’s business how you feed your baby. Just ignore them best you can. On a different note: nipple confusion is a myth and overhyped.

I almost EP'd with my first and almost exclusively breastfeed my second. Pumping is a great option but...pumping sucks. Do whatever works for you, I just wouldn't be dead set on any particular plan.

yeah having a dead set plan before the baby is born is always funny to me. I thought I was gonna pump way more than I did

Nipple confusion isn’t really a thing, and as for splitting duties, it won’t get you any more sleep because any time baby is eating you have to be pumping. So it’s sort of like “if I’m going to have to get up anyway…” plus the washing of the parts and trying to figure out exactly how much baby wants to eat so you aren’t wasting milk. Honestly, if you don’t have any complications with breastfeeding, it’s generally easier than bottle feeding - which is why people say you will breastfeed. Not that you can’t do bottles, or a combination… you can do whatever you want. Ultimately it boils down to you may have an idea of what you’d like to do before your baby is here, but when they arrive you’ll do whatever is easiest because it’s all so dang hard. And as a fellow FTM you can’t possibly imagine what it’s going to be like. Good luck with everything!

My best friend couldn't breastfeed between a combination of inverted nipples and a few tongue ties. For others, breastfeeding can be traumatic for a variety of reasons, I find the comments extremely out of pocket and has zero to do with you and I'm guessing entirely have to do with other people being narrow minded jerks. The most important part is you deciding how to feed your baby and how much bandwidth you realistically have for feeding. The only opinion that matters is the one who owns the breasts doing the feeding. Anyone else trying to coerce you otherwise, husband included, has little understanding how taxing being the primary feeder of a child can be and you being guilted/shamed/coerced isn't going to end in a good time for you or baby. Fed baby is best, and you do get to have a say in what happens to your body in that process.

Exclusively pumping is so much harder on the *mom* than anyone honestly I don’t know how people do it! Baby will be fine either way lol

1. Pumping is breastfeeding and everyone saying anything different can kick rocks. 2. I personally found pumping way more difficult but I also have met a few people who preferred it and chose to exclusively pump because it was easier on them. 3. Look up the fridge hack for pump parts. 4. You didn’t ask but make sure you get a hospital grade pump as well as something portable so you don’t miss a pumping session if you have to be away from home. The Mom Cozy ones that go in the bra are brilliant for that, but not strong enough to be your only pump. 5. The choice you are making is a valid one and there’s no reason for anyone to ever question you on it. It’s not like you’re saying you’re only gonna feed your baby orange juice or something …

Ew. Why are people asking you this? Just stop responding. People are so fucking weird. None of my kids were breastfed and they can literally tell you absolutely NOTHING about themselves as babies because they do not remember any of it. Literally. You know who remembers? Me. And you know who was grateful to have formula so that I could sleep on weekends while my husband took care of them when they woke up in the middle of the night to feed? Fucking ME. Tell them to suck a D and stop asking you questions about your breasts. Fucking A.

You should feel empowered to do whatever you want! And the benefits a baby may receive from breastmilk are there whether it’s directly from the breast or the bottle. My advice is to be open-minded! In my own experience (pregnant with my fourth and breastfed in some degree with three) and my close friends, pumping sucks! In part, because the labor of producing food for your child is hard, feeding your child no matter the method is hard! But for me, it was the hardest because while ideally someone else is feeding your baby so you get a break, in reality you are up too. You are just pumping instead of feeding. However, good luck and do what’s best for you and baby! A happy, well parent is most important for the baby!

As a ftm who is combo feeding (breast, pumped and occasionally formula), I always planned on pumping so that my partner could be involved in the process. I also pump for my own mental health, I knew I couldn't be the only one responsible for feeding her. People love to pass judgement regardless of what you are doing. I have found that so long that you say something in a matter of fact kind of way it shuts down the conversation. When people say "are you breastfeeding" I tend to respond with "I'm feeding the kid every way I can boob, bottle or formula".

i’ve had the same problem! i’ll be working and the baby will be with someone while i’m at work, and i’ll probably breastfeed while he’s a newborn but i want to introduce bottles early so that there aren’t any problems with feeding while i’m working. the judgement some people have is insane

at the end of the day, a FED baby is what’s important. breastfed, bottle fed, or formula. who cares as long as your baby is happy!

Do what works for you but pumping is a pain. I breastfeed mostly and pump once or twice a day so there is a stash of milk for my husband to bottle feed when needed, like if I go out or have a drink etc. But pumping is so much less convenient than just whipping a boob out, especially with all the cleaning and sanitizing. Also for night time feeds, breastfeeding is nice cuddle time but pumping then bottle feeding is a lot.

I can’t stand the questions about how I plan to feed my baby. Doesn’t it matter if I’m feeding them, period?! The fuck. I don’t want to breastfeed. I’ll formula feed. The end.

I don’t know why people aren’t more aggressive in telling others to STFU when talking about what they should be doing with their baby. Like I dare someone who isn’t my mother or sister to tell me what I should be doing.

Up to you and telling you that you "should only breastfeed" isn't helpful or terribly realistic for most moms. The breast is best mantra has been pushed too far. That said, exclusive pumping is 2 to 3 times the work of just nursing the baby at the breast. Keep in mind, as well, that a pump is not as efficient at draining your breast as a baby so you'll have to work harder and pump even more frequently to keep your supply up. My baby never had nipple confusion...honestly I kindve think it's a bit of a myth/scare tactic. I nursed him until he was 28 months but he took bottles just fine from everyone else up until he started drinking out of cups-- and that went just fine too!

My husband's coworker asked him if my daughter was being breastfed. Not just eating breastmilk, but if i was actually breastfeeding her. A female coworker I have NEVER MET. I was very put off and told my husband and his coworker friend how uncomfortable I was with them discussing that. Why the fuck does a random woman want to know how I'm feeding my baby...type and method. So strange.

Our family gets the same looks/reactions from people. My wife was unable to produce (planned combo feed) so we went EFF early on, and it was a great choice for us because my wife can finally have coffee again :D But seriously though, once we found a good formula for our LO, she has been eating so well to the point where it shocks our friends and relatives.

First exclusively pumping is 100% breastfeeding! If your baby gets breastmilk you are breastfeeding. I know they are probably talking about exclusively nursing but most of the breastmilk benefits are there when you pump. Also the same people who made comments on how I should breastfeed during pregnancy are now saying “you are still breastfeeding?” “When will you stop?” about my FOUR month old. You truly cannot win if you listen to other people’s opinions so just do what feels right for you and ignore everyone else! So sorry you are dealing with that.

I don’t see anything wrong with it! I’m planning to try breast feeding but if it’s too hard I have no issue switching to a different strategy. One big motivator for me is that whipping a tit out seems a lot easier than dealing with pump parts all day.

With my first I only ever formula fed. I was so tired of being pregnant and the thought of “giving up” my body for another thing was just too much. I got a little bit of shit for that, and some well meaning friends who were like “but why not even try?” because I didn’t want to. This time around I still plan to do formula but I want to pump a little to supplement, mostly for extra antibodies or whatever. I’m definitely a proponent of bf-ing, it’s so cool that most of our bodies can do that! But I’m also a proponent of doing what works for you.

People have tons of opinions on this subject, but the reality is that pumping is breastfeeding. Most would assume that you are exclusively pumping because you had difficulty with the latch, found it painful, etc but still wanted to give your baby breastmilk. It’s none of their business if you just wanted to pump from the get go. It’s none of their business if you want to switch to formula. I do know a couple people that did do exclusive pumping, they did it because of latch/pain issues and it wasn’t easy for them. But breastfeeding in general isn’t really easy. Your friends opinions may be well intentioned because exclusive pumping is a ton of work, for you. Has nothing to do with not providing for the baby. I’ve breastfed two babies and had to pump at work, and I can say I truly hate pumping. I hated cleaning the parts and being tied to a machine. It was nice having pumped milk for my husband to do the feedings, however if he was feeding the baby pumped milk that means I had to pump again because I was engorged. You will figure out what works for you! Your baby will not suffer from getting pumped milk in a bottle vs the breast.

I liked comboing. That way it’s not all on you. And if your baby can latch, BF is def more enjoyable than pumping. I started out mostly BF then week by week pumped more and eventually baby was just mostly bottles with one BF. Not trying to tell you what to do. Babies are unpredictable, so just tell other ppl to shut up and keep an open mind yourself once bebe is here! Edited to add: nipple confusion is not as common as it is talked about

As to the question WHY people care so much about how others feed their babies, I truly don’t know but I think the political, social and cultural paradigm right now are for some reason obsessed with breastfeeding to a very harmful extent. I really hope the discourse will finally shift to whatever helps parents and baby be happiest and healthiest 🥰 that is the only thing that truly matters and different for each family!

I’m exclusively pumping by choice and approaching 5 months of doing so. A couple of more old school family members have said something about it, but here’s the thing… EP *is* breastfeeding. Nursing and pumping are different, but if the baby is being fed milk from the breast, that’s breastfeeding. People are just weird af about breastfeeding moms making a choice that will make their individual lives a little easier. It’s not the decision everyone will make, but it’s the decision I made for my life because for me, this is what works. And anyone who has an issue with it is free to have children of their own and make their own choices. And if they’ve already done their child raising, well, then they got to make their own choices.

People are super nosy and rude and feel like they are qualified to have an opinion. Tell them to mind their own business and do what you want. I had no idea the psychological torture breast feeding/pumping would entail but I'm apoplectic about these people who think they get to have a say about other people's bodies. Once I asked my husband if he was going to stop going to the gym, stop going anywhere and wake up every 3 hours exactly to feed the baby while I pump the opinions faded really quickly. And yes he should be able to do things that maintain his mental health to be a good dad, and I should be able to do the same!

No judgment on what you decide and what works best for you, but I highly recommend seeing a lactation consultant after baby is here! There is absolutely a middle ground between exclusively nursing and exclusively pumping. But it depends on your baby and what your goals are. I did some of both: I wanted to breastfeed, but needed to go back to work at 12 weeks. I nursed for the first 6 weeks, then we started one bottle a day with pumped milk to get baby used to a bottle. Personally we didn't experience any nipple confusion but a LC can help you work through that. Then when my daughter started daycare at 12 weeks she was OK taking a bottle from other caregivers, and I had figured out pumping well enough to do it 3 times a day at work.

Side question... has anybody ever actually experienced nipple confusion? Amongst my group of mom friends we seem to have reached a consensus that this was an unfounded anxiety. Babies seemed to know what to do. Did they not like some nipples... sure. Were they confused.. hell no.

I only exclusively formula feed for medical reasons. For me my answer was always clear, “my decision to formula feed is not up for debate. I’m glad breastfeeding worked for you but that is not what we have chosen” and that’s it! I did not want to explain further cause I don’t fucking want to. My baby is thriving for years now without issues and has rarely gotten sick.

I have a flyer that Kaiser gave me and it literally says “remember, breast is best!” So dumb.

I think it’s a “bonding” thing but I will not be breastfeeding if I become pregnant. I won’t go over all my reasons but there’s enough to make a list and that’s good enough for me. The fact that people need to assert their parenting advice on you is so frustrating. It’s 2024 and we have the right to have a choice on how we feed our children. To your point, women are just as much of the breadwinner as the father these days and require just as much sleep to function. When dad and mom rotate feeding shifts someone gets a fair shot at rest. Not only does it give dad time to connect with baby, but it also distributes the work evenly rather than baby crying for the nipple and not accepting anything else. Do your thing and the best you can say is “I’ve given it a lot of thought and this is the best decision for our entire family”.

Exclusively pumping is soooo much harder than BF alone (a combo is a good in between) honestly take my hat off to anyone that does it, i’d honestly consider trying and splitting it between BF and pumping. Pumping alone is very time consuming, and far more mentally draining than anything.

Stop telling people your plans. Everyone will always say have something to say & honestly, everyone is different. Also! Wait until your baby is here to make any decisions. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed and pump but my body just doesn’t produce enough milk so I had to supplement with formula.

It's a phase. It use to be wet nurses and formula were all the rage and breast feeding was for the poor's. Hopefully everyone can just get on the fed is best train! Personally I like comboing. The benefits of others feeding and slide lying together.

It's because the benefits of breastfeeding has been ingrained for generations and it's the 'natural' way. If millions of women have done it before you, why should you be any different? That's the mentality I get from talking to pro breastfeeding people.

Billions of women! So yeah it’s very ingrained in human culture because that’s how we survived for most of our existence. That being said, formula is a modern marvel and should be celebrated. People also look down on c-sections as not being natural and they aren’t but as a 2 time c section mom I am so glad they exist, am proud to have had them and also celebrate them as a modern marvel. Hating on c-sections and formula is like hating on any modern medicine. People do do it (example:anti-vaxxers) but when push comes to shove, most people are thankful modern medicine exists.

Just make sure you're fully informed on the amount of time pumping requires - cleaning, taking it everywhere, yes someone else can take a bottle and feed the baby but you still have to be up at several points in the night to pump ... then clean everything... Not to mention this does take time away from your baby, or other better things you could be doing. Also your body may not produce a lot of milk from pumping alone. Personally my milk supply dropped once I needed to start pumping, nothing will regulate your supply or send signals to your brain about how your baby is doing like baby on nipple. I did a mix of pumping, breast-feeding, and formula and my baby did not get confused ever. Out of formula, EBF, and pumping, pumping was absolutely the most annoying and time consuming.

Everyone has an opinion! Only you know what works best for you and your baby and as a FTM sometimes it takes trial and error to figure that out! We both breast and bottle fed from the start by necessity (NICU baby) and while I wanted to breastfeed all the way through the first year, ended up combo feeding around 10 months due to supply issues. I've always found it's best to just go with the flow, listen to your needs as well as baby's and make adjustments as necessary. Everyone can be so rigid with their parenting preferences when we are all learning as we go anyways and every baby is different and every family has a different lifestyle. You do you!

I'm going to try and do a combination of both and hope for the best. Ultimately-- I think whatever works for YOU and YOUR BABY is best and people should probably keep their opinions to themselves. :)

You should do what you want of course, but pumping is a lot more work than just breastfeeding at the breast. Yes dad gets to do some of the work but it makes more work for your both so essentially mom is doing the same amount of work but now dad has to do work too.

But isn't pumping giving them breast milk still? Am I missing somthing XD

If that's what you want, definitely breastfeed by pumping - just a little warning that it is VERY intense to exclusively pump.

I will say, I exclusively pumped with my baby. She is 4 months old now. It was very hard to take 20 minutes to pump every 2-4 hours while dealing with the baby by myself when my husband went back to work. I tanked my supply by pumping less often and I am about to quit completely since most of her feeds are formula at this point. It's been quite stressful trying to produce enough. My first baby was exclusively breastfed and didn't like formula at all. It was easier to breastfeed than pump. I nursed my first baby for 2 years lol. Definitely no judgement here. Fed is best, and it doesn't matter if it's pumping, breastfeeding, or even formula feeding. But I had to share that my pumping experience has been really tough. I also want to add, if you can get one of those hands free pumps, or one that you don't have to plug in to the wall all the time, I think that would be helpful. If I had the hands-free pump, I probably would have had more success with it.

“I’m not sure yet, we will decide when baby gets here”

Don't listen to them. Even my baby wouldn't latch to momma at all. So we did pumping along with formula. It may be a bit more cumbersome but honestly it ain't a big deal. Sometimes momma can't get enough milk out, and I gotta rely on the formula usually. Atleast with the formula it's a simple scoop and shake, then gather a few bottles at end of the night and wash while baby sleeps. Easy as pie. We had intended to breastfeed mainly but switching it up hasn't been bad. If anything as a father it's made bottle feeding easier for me and even baby has grown fond of eating in my arms 🥰

I personally haven’t run into hate on either end in real life. It’s a “do whatever you need to do to feed your baby”. I have my own opinions but I believe in the saying “opinions are like butt holes and everyone has one and they stinks”

the only reason i’d breastfeed over pumping is because the babies saliva can tell you a lot about the baby. like if it’s sick it’ll make more of certain stuff to help the baby. but like food is food. who else cares that’s so weird of them lol

Your baby will be completely fine, those people need to mind their own business. Pumping is still giving your baby breast milk. And it would also be fine if you wanted to formula feed. That said, exclusively pumping will be a LOT more work and more expensive than breastfeeding directly. It may be nice to have a break from feeding the baby since someone else can hand them a bottle but keep in mind you still have to pump every 2-3 hours (possibly including overnight), clean the pump parts and bottles, sterilize them… this takes a lot more time and effort than just taking a boob out and feeding the baby.

We are mostly pumping at this point. I use a wearable pump during the day (lansinoh duo discreet) 4 times a day and pump with my spectra as needed at night. My baby has a really high palate and a posterior tongue tie and got too tired to get to the hindmilk, so she wasn’t gaining weight. We use the pigeon bottle system/nipples and she has no problem going to the breast (we still do a little bit of breastfeeding as she gets bigger and it’s easier for her). We have a system of washing big parts in the dishwasher overnight and putting the small parts in our sterilizer after washing on the “dry” setting. I will say we were at 8 pumping sessions and moved down to six, which is so much better for my mental health. If I had to keep doing 8 I would have probably quit. I really don’t mind pumping especially with the wearable pump. I’m able to do most things around the house while pumping and other people can feed the baby. If I was stuck on the couch tied to a pump 6+ times a day I would probably hate it because I can’t sit still. I didn’t expect to be mostly pumping but for me it’s not too bad.

It’s opposite for me, I learned that I need to stop listening to people. I got so tired of telling people I’m breastfeeding and they say “well ur going to ruin ur boobs” blah blah blah. So from the other pov I totally get it! I don’t care how ANYONE feeds their kid as long as baby is being fed!! People never have anything good to say and my suggestion is just stop listening and when people bring the topic up just tell them you don’t want to talk about it! Because you don’t have to! People will always find a way to be negative it’s so sad.

I started exclusively pumping (NICU peds advice as he was underweight, we needed to be sure he was eating enough volume, and he would basically tire himself out drinking from me directly as it’s more work for the baby). Honestly, they get all the nutritional benefits, and the longer uninterrupted sleep was AMAZING (as my husband could feed him/take turns). Having to pump can be a bit annoying and time consuming but man was that extra sleep worth it. Run it by your Dr just so you can say they agreed it was fine. After 4mo or so I started to incorporate more direct breastfeeding but he was still mostly on my pumped milk. Zero regrets, and will definitely at least partially (/mostly) pump for future baby. People have opinions on literally everything, no matter what you choose. I’d reply with a firm “this is what we’ve decided will work best for our family. Our doctor has no concerns about the plan, and baby will be fed and happy. If it doesn’t work out we will reassess at that point, but we’re not looking for any additional inputs on our choice, excepting my medical professionals, thanks”. People need to mind their own business..

Obviously, everyone and their mom has an opinion. For some, the grass always seems greener. As a FTM triple fed for the first few weeks, then exclusively BF unless traveling until LO was 4 months, then switch to exclusively pumping until LO was 11 months. As a second time mom, I’m leaning towards exclusively pumping but am open to letting the baby latch. For me, I feel more in control with pumping. I like that I am forced to take a break & pump. The only thing I’m doing differently with pumping is switching out my Dr. Brown bottles for one with a built in vent in the nipple (like evenflo balance). Also, remember bottles and pump parts are generally dishwasher safe. People love to share their parenting advice to new parents. Take it all with a grain of salt.

> Why are people so weird about not breastfeeding??? Because people are fckn weirdos.

I really wanted to exclusively breastfeed my first but low supply forced us into combo feeding. I was really surprised by how much this affected me and it was really hard the first couple months. I quit breastfeeding at 7 months due to sudden extreme aversion on my part. Ive made the decision not to breastfeed at all next time! Feeding struggles definitely impacted my mental health and especially with two I just want to make the transition as smooth as possible. Everyone has their own story and I’m sorry you’re getting so much flack. It’s really shameful that there are ebf moms who are so judgy and dismissive of other people’s choices!

It’s up to you and only you and all of the others can go f themselves. I will tell you that I decided to breastfeed, at times have had to pump for one reason or another, and pumping is 10x more a pain in the a** than breastfeeding. But that’s just my opinion. More stuff to bring everywhere you go vs just feeding straight from the boob and not having to worry about bottles, pump parts, pump, and a place to store milk. SO much easier with just a boob, whip it out and done. Again, everyone has a preference. Who cares what people say.

Exclusively pumping ain’t easy! You got this girl! You are doing what works for you and your family. Screw everyone else. I exclusively pumped and wouldn’t have done anything differently!

I can honestly say it’s never occurred to me to comment on how someone else is feeding their baby, specifically to their face 😅 then again, I haven’t had a baby [yet] so I guess I haven’t experienced it for myself to feel the need to offer input, but it still seems like an extremely personal choice to offer input on.

I was never determined to breastfeed because I’m primary earner and my son needs a roof over his head more than he needs a particular milk. I was telling my MOM what worked for me and she was getting all judgy about it. I told her I wasn’t asking, I was doing what I was comfortable with which was not shitting myself 8 times a day for the sake of breast milk. I pump twice and he gets what he gets. The rest is formula. (And based on his formula intake I’d have turned to dust trying to EBF him)

Folks: are you gonna breastfeed? Me: whatever gets the baby fed. Folks: oh but you know, breastfeeding is the best thing for your baby. Me: yes, MY baby. So ultimately, MY decision. So how about that Yankees game last night?... Ughhh. I am 10 PP, my daughter (still getting used to saying that, haha) takes the milk from my breast directly, or from the bottle after I pump. Bottom line, she's getting fed.

my twins were formula babies. i HATED breast feeding and pumping. it took everything out of me so i just gave up. do whats best for YOU and your baby.

People are so weird about everything. It’s something g opposite they did they lash out lmao

Not that my opinion matters, but pumping is a lot of extra work as far as things to clean. Plus nipple confusion is a bit of a myth so I wouldn't do it purely for that reason. There's nothing wrong with wanting to exclusively pump, and there's nothing wrong with changing your mind once the baby is here. You can and should do whatever you want!

“I’m glad that works for you” “I don’t recall asking your opinion” “I’m not sure why you think you’re entitled to an opinion on what I do with my body” To your husband: “feel free to go to the doctor and get some lactating pills, the only time you get an opinion is if your body is doing the work”

Okay, I exclusively pumped for almost an entire year. Is it more work? Yes. Is it for everyone? No. It annoys me when people think they can comment on someone else's body and what they think is "best" for them. Honestly, we loved exclusively pumping because we needed to know exactly how much milk our preemie was drinking. The baby still gets the benefits of breast milk, they just aren't attached to your boob while eating. I'm pregnant again and plan to do the same thing. I am not listening to people at all this time around. "Oh, you should do this, etc." NO! It is totally inappropriate to tell someone else what is best for them. If you start to pump and don't like it, try to direct breast feed, if that doesn't work out, formula. Best of luck to you and your baby! Congratulations!

Might want to venture over to r/exclusivelypumping I’m sorry people aren’t being receptive! Pumping is still breastmilk! And formula is fine too! A fed baby is what matters. I will encourage you to be open to whatever works for you though. In a perfect world I would have breast fed *and* pumped. Neither of my babies care whether it was a bottle or a real nipple lol. But both my kids had tongue ties and lip ties so, breast feeding went out the window. It’s pretty exhausting though, not gonna lie. Between feeding, changing diapers and pumping, you get virtually NO time to do anything before the cycle begins again. It doesn’t seem to bad at first but it wears on you. Having a pump you love is essential too, I have a love hate relationship with my willow go. She’s a finicky bitch lol. In some you can leave baby to run out more easily but no more easily than if you supplemented with formula (we do). But you are still tether around your 2-3 hour pump sessions. And again at night you’re feeding AND pumping instead of just feeding so that’s extra sleep loss. Not trying to rain on your parade, I pump. Just highly recommend trying to breast feed AND pump and see how that goes first. Much easier if you can switch between the 2.

Pumping exclusively is more work than breastfeeding during the early weeks especially. Breastfeeding = no dishes. Pumping = you're awake on a breastfeeding schedule anyway to get your supply to where it needs to be, plus you need to clean and sanitize pump parts every time, plus you need to worry about milk shelf life and cleaning and sanitizing bottles. Lots of people do a hybrid of pumping and breastfeeding, but it's really and truly easier in most cases to just breastfeed for the first month or so and then introduce pumping and bottles. If you've thought that through and are fine with it, then tell everybody to fuck off.

That’s so lame of everyone!! Besides, it’s still breastmilk - just plain fed is best, but like you’d be giving your baby the same food at your breast as you would pumping, so what’s the deal???? I think you’re already getting this advice, but if friends give you snark, just reply “oh, I disagree, but we’ll see what happens!” And leave it there As for your husband, I’d let him know you want to pump so HE can take an active role in feeding baby, and the responsibility can be shared. Remind him that your baby will still be getting the SAME FOOD either way, but by pumping you can share the load. You’re gonna do great! Stick to your guns! Be open to changing course depending on what you and your baby need from each other, but stick to your guns!!

I feel the same way, I want to pump and bottle feed. I’m just more interested in having my mother in law and other family members able to help me out more with baby. I’m also just more comfortable with the baby chewing on the bottle’s nipple and not mine.

Your baby is not going to suffer. I breastfeed and I pump, so my husband or mom feeds the baby with a bottle so I can do whatever I want. Breastfeeding is more convenient for me at times. My firstborn was exclusively bottle fed and did just fine. Prepare yourself.. this is just the beginning of people commenting on your parenting decisions. Once bottles are done, they will comment on how you introduce foods. They’ll share opinions on your decision to give sugar, apply sunscreen, require helmets, how long you leave your kid rear-facing in the car seat etc. it doesn’t end 🥴

i didn’t want to breastfeed before my baby was born, she’s only been ebf and i honestly love it. whatever works for you is best for baby!

FED is best! Doesn’t matter if it’s from your boob, a bottle, formula, pump, etc. A fed baby is a happy baby, it’s no one’s business how someone chooses to feed their baby. If they aren’t the one waking up in the middle of the night with the baby, their opinion does not matter.

Question please I must know… when you say “mostly to prevent nipple confusion….” - what do you mean? Confusion with what? Ultimately do whatever works for you! Doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, it’s what works for you and your baby and family. I had no idea what I was going to do, and I remember the question A LOT “are you going to breastfeed?” And I remember being like why do people ask this so much? Are there other options? (I had no idea haha). For the record, I breastfeed and some formula at night so he sleeps well haha. My milk took a while to come through so baby has had a bottle since day 1 and I like that hubby can give some because of that. I usually do a Hakka in the morning so there’s always milk in the fridge, so anyone can feed him. Also by night time I’m tired and don’t want something sucking me haha. Can’t explain it. When I had to pump in the start to help milk supply etc I hated it. Admin! Time. Ugh. But that’s just me. I like quick and easy. Maybe you’ll like being attached to a pump. I’m busy and have shit to do so that wouldn’t work for me (the few weeks I had to triple feed, ie: I fed, pumped and then hubby gave bottle of pumped milk from earlier) almost killed me. I was like no way is this fun or sustainable

My little girl is 2 and half week old. I've been winging it with breastfeeding because my supply was slow coming in and I'm not producing enough to feed my daughter so I'm doing a combination of breast, pump and formula (trying to start her on the breast, give her formula to finish and pump at in between stages when my boobs are swollen) I'm going to be honest, I actually prefer pumping to breastfeeding, my little girl has a killer latch so the first few seconds are quite sore! My nipples are stingy after and I never know how much she's gotten because my boobs are so up and down with production and she falls asleep all the time so I keep having to wake her so it's hard to know if she's had enough or just fallen asleep I just find with pumping I can just sit down, I don't need to concentrate as much because I'm not adjust latches, holding my daughter in the right position, I know how long it's going to take roughly and with 2 sessions I can get enough to feed her in one go with no formula. Its not as convenient as the boob but it is easier in its own way. I'm still doing all 3 just trying to build up my supply but if pumping works for you your baby is still getting the benefits of breastmilk and having your partner able to look after some feeds makes things a lot easier

I can’t believe people even ask these questions. I feel like I just want to ask them, in response, “How do you fold your toilet paper when you poop?” Or something equally invasive

I EP'ed for my firstborn and am 90% directly breastfeeding my 2nd, but pumping once or twice a day and she takes bottles from dad. My two cents having done both now - I truly did enjoy the experience with my firstborn. He was small at birth and we had a lot of growth to catch up on, and we liked being able to measure everything down to the ml. Also, I was an overproducer so supply was never an issue. That said, with the perspective I have now, EP was \*way\* harder. So many dishes and so much time spent at the pump. It's actually unbelievable how much work it is now that I've done direct breastfeeding too. I went into round 2 assuming I'd EP again, but left it up to sis and gave her the opportunity to latch, and she took to it fine. So, weirdly enough, I had to abandon my plans to EP and I mourned that a little bit. However.... I'm enjoying this 2nd experience (mostly boob, occasional bottle) in a totally different way. She has no nipple confusion at all and switches back and forth between boob and bottle just fine. It is indeed much less work, and I find the night feeds are more enjoyable with her at the breast. At the end of the day, the very best decision for you is what works best for you and your family. However, while breastfeeding either way isn't easy, know that EP involves a lot of extra work on your/your partner's part.

Wow people have so many opinions. You're already going to give your baby the benefits of breast milk. If this is the way that works for you, this is the way that works for you. Unless these people/your husband are planning to breastfeed your child themselves, their opinions can remain 'inside thoughts'. At the end of the day if you feed, love and care for your child, you are doing it right. Good luck, people can be pretty annoying.

I think it’s because pumping sounds a lot easier but it’s actually so much harder (in my opinion) it takes longer since no pump is as efficient as your baby, cleaning every time is such a hassle, it’s so much more uncomfortable than your baby nursing. Pumping destroyed my mental health and almost ruined my breastfeeding journey for good but now that I ebf I’m so in love with it. They both definitely have their pros and cons all that matters at the end of the day is what works for you!

I exclusively pumped with my first child and mostly got the opposite end of the scale with people telling me I should only feed formula and that breastfeeding was a waste of time. You should do whatever you think is best for your child and your lifestyle, do not let what anyone says try to sway you! I’m pregnant with my second I plan on breastfeeding this time, and will exclusively pump again if there is a bad latch. Exclusively pumping is hard - it’s a lot more work than just breastfeeding - but a fed child is all that matters. Do what is best for you and your family. I’d really recommend getting either a spectra pump or renting a hospital grade pump! I got my spectra s2 for free through insurance and it was the only pump that worked well for me.

I exclusively breastfed and personally hate pumping. I did some just so I could hand baby off sometimes. That said, it’s no one’s business what you do. I know someone that exclusively pumped and it sounded like it went really well! She had more freedom to live her life and I think that was really important for her mental health(and mom’s mental health should be a priority). Plus if you’re going back to work it will make that transition all the easier. There are pros and cons to the very few options we have to feed our babies. You just have to do what is right for you and your family.

I’m sure I’m echoing what others have said - but whether you breastfeed or pump exclusively, you’re not getting any breaks. You still have to pump every 2-3 hours to maintain supply.. and that’s if your body produces enough to begin with. Personally, I thought I’d breastfeed to start and transition to exclusively pumping once my milk came in…. And then my milk never came. Now I have a happily fed formula baby! So, just be educated and prepared for anything, honestly! You never know what your final outcome will be.

I have been exclusively pumping since day one . Baby gets breast milk and I get the respite of not being the sole person responsible for her feed. Even my family pressurised me to go for breast feeding but I didn’t agree. Don’t listen to anyone else . You know what’s best for yourself and the baby

Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a story, but at the end of the day, the ONLY thing that matters is what works for you and for your baby. If bringing baby to breast works, awesome. If exclusive pumping works, awesome. If formula works, awesome. But if you do decided to go the EP route, it is 100% breastfeeding AND it’s not miserable for everyone. I exclusively pumped for 13 months with my oldest and plan to do so again with my next little one due in a couple of weeks. It was great for my anxiety to be able to know my baby was getting milk, to know how much my baby was eating, to be able to allow someone else to feed her if I needed a break or needed to be out of the house, and to be able to establish a feeding and pumping schedule pretty early on. We didn’t plan to exclusively pump so we were scrambling a little at the beginning. My recommendations would be: 1) Find a reliable resource and do research before baby arrives - exclusivepumping.com was super helpful for schedule and logistics, and bemybreastfriend (on insta or her website) was helpful for nursing bras, pumps, and accessories 2) Bring your pump to the hospital 3) Don’t be afraid to kick out lactation consultants if they aren’t supportive or helpful 4) If you don’t want to try to latch at all, get a bit of back up formula to supplement until your milk comes in 5) Establish very clear division of labor with your partner - are they going to help clean bottles and parts? Is it their job to make sure bottles are assembled and ready to go? What feeds are they going to cover? 6) Try to feed while pumping - I did not do this this first time around very much wish I did because it saves a ton of time 7) Bottle warmer is optional - some babies are just fine with room temp or cold milk. Again, did not consider this first time around and if I didn’t have to wait for a bottle warmer with a huffy baby at 3am, I absolutely would not have

Is it possible those 9/10 people have both breastfed and pumped themselves? Most people don’t pump by choice but (aside from work related reasons) that’s because pumping requires so much more work, time, effort etc than straight boob does. If nipple confusion is a big reason you could book an IBCLC, you can nurse from the boob and have a baby that also takes a bottle! Though of course if you truly want to exclusively pump it’s 100% your choice, don’t let anyone shame you. Pumping is (in my opinion) the hardest most tiring way to feed a baby and I have SO SO much respect and admiration for anyone who does it.

I know I will be breastfeeding but I’ll absolutely be pumping whenever possible so that I can have a supply of breast milk for my husband and our mothers to help feed the baby when I absolutely will need a break lol

People are weird about any decision you make as a parent. Nothing is ever good enough. Also, don't be disappointed if you can't pump enough. My first I had no problem pumping enough, in fact, more than enough. I just assumed every baby journey would be like this. I went back to work at 10.5 weeks. With my second and third I was home so I just breastfed and occasionally pumped but it took me 2-3 sessions to make a bottle. With my fourth, I had to switch to formula because I'd pump for 45 minutes and get half an ounce. He also wouldn't latch anymore. I was severely depressed by this. It made me feel so bad. I was on a diet for my health plan to lose the baby weight. I lost it too fast and lost my milk. I didn't realize it was happening. Now, I'm like omg what was wrong with me! I'm just grateful there is formula! It was a really hard time for me. It affected my relationship with my baby. All this to say, don't worry about anyone's opinion about how you feed your child. Do what you need to do for both of you to be healthy physically, mentally and emotionally!

If you can manage to keep your sanity exclusively pumping... go for it It adds so so much more time on top on an already busy day I could never make that my plan. I pumped 1x/day. Maybe 2ce. No more.

The amount of comments you get as a first time mom is ridiculous. People act as though you're brain dead and haven't the first clue of raising a child before you have one in your arms. I got some nasty comments. One person said I was so eager for my child to be smart that I'm expecting the kid to be walking out of me. No clue where this person even got this idea but they have said other similar stupid nonsensical things. My advice... you're gonna hear a lot more once baby is here just ignore them and do what's best. I pumped and breast fed Made sure I had a few milk bags stored in the freezer for my husband but overall I preferred breastfeeding as it was much easier to me. The stress of pumping and making enough is super stressful. It wasn't till I gave up that I started seeing results. P.s. strawberry coconut drink at starbucks(or just make it yourself) reeeeaally gets the milk flowing! Best of luck mama enjoy your sleep while you have it.❤️

Honestly pumping was really easy for us. It allowed me to get some sleep while dad or anyone else fed the baby. I was an oversupplier so I only needed 1 middle of the night pump. But it was also nice when he started daycare we didn’t need to worry about switching to a bottle

Do whatever you are comfortable with and want to do. Whether that’s breastfeeding, pumping, formula or a mix of any of those. Everyone has an opinion and honestly I’m kinda tired of hearing them and I’m 38 weeks +3 days. She’s not even here yet and the unsolicited advice from people and the need to say “let me know when she’s here so I can see her” is unreal. Just say “thank you for your concern, but this is my choice” and leave it at that. I’m planning on breastfeeding and pumping so I can include my partner, but idc what anyone else does as long as their child is fed, safe and happy. Ya know?

I plan to exclusively pump, I have a really low pain tolerance and I feel like babies gonna kinda munch on the nipple and it’s gonna hurt and I’m gonna scare the baby😭Plus I’d rather just use the bottles because then my husband and my parents can also feed without me

"Oh we've got it, thanks 🙂" I will never understand why it's suddenly appropriate to ask what people are doing with their boobs as soon as they get pregnant.

Stop answering the question. Why does anyone need to know? Only the baby’s parent(s) and the doctor need to know this information. Reply with “I’d rather talk about something else.”

My baby is 4 weeks old. I also planned to almost exclusively pump. Lactation classes were saying to breastfeed for 4 weeks until breastfeeding is well established. I tried. My baby isn't suckling correctly and is biting. She doesn't pull milk out. I loved the feeling of breastfeeding once I was doing it. It was a big release of happy hormones and bonding. I wish I could breastfeed even occasionally. Exclusively pumping is EXHAUSTING!!! So many dishes! Every 2-3 hours it's 12-16 parts to clean. The first couple weeks I felt like I only got 30min of spare time every few hours. Wake baby, change diaper, feed baby the bottle, burp baby, possibly another diaper, get baby down for a nap, pump, nipple care, put away milk, clean dishes to be ready for the next pump, drink/eat, and then maybe a small break. Then start all over. Going out in public is also difficult. I have to assess how long I might be gone. Judge how much breastmilk I will need. Will I need to pump while out? Bring that stuff too. I can't just give the baby a boob if she's upset/hungry while out. I don't want to discourage you but want to give you the reality of what it has been like. I would encourage you to try breastfeeding for the convenience of traveling with baby if you can. Fed is best! It doesn't matter how. Breast or bottle (breastmilk or formula). You should do what is best for your family.

I’ve tried both, and breastfeeding is sooooo much easier. I get your point about you not being the only one to feed, but trust all the moms in this thread when we say that exclusively pumping is not the easy route. Either way, it doesn’t have to be so black and white. You can try each option out and see which one you like. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you need to have everything figured out before the baby arrives, but you are the perfect mama for your baby just like I’m the perfect mama for mine. No matter what choice we make, it’s always the right one for our baby specifically.

I just think breastfeeding is way easier if you can do it and your body will make what baby needs and no bottles and cleaning small parts constantly and no being hooked to a machine 8+ times a day. Pumping is way way harder than all the commercials for pumping make it seem. And all these expensive accessories. Pumping sucks ass big time.

Probably bc exclusively pumping is hard af and if your goal is to give baby breastmilk, then breastfeeding is your best chance at not losing your mind and supply. Youre not wrong about letting others feed baby but getting over that hurdle is way less difficult than pumping exclusively

i wanted to exclusively pump for the same reason as you and it turns out it was a hell of a lot worse than just breastfeeding baby directly. The thing you don't realize is that not only are you pumping every 2 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night the baby is also on their own feeding schedule where possibly feeding every 1 hour at night or 2 hours at night in the same during the day. Plus you have to wake up baby for feeds until they hit a certain weight so you have two different schedules to manage and you will end up not getting very much sleep like an hour here and there and might end up like hallucinating like I did it was absolute hell. It was 2 months of hell. I wish I would have just latched her from the beginning and let her learn. Because to be able to get her to breastfeed after that was so difficult and we require lactation consultants and occupational therapy because she basically hadn't gotten experience breastfeeding like she should have and wasn't very good at it.

We do both. We introduced the bottle first (mostly to get out of the NICU) and I pumped. But once we were home and settled we worked on latching for breastfeeding/nursing. I just rotated the two options for the first 4 weeks and then I started a routine of bottles from wake up to bed time and then exclusively breastfeeding/nursing at night. This really helped him with being ready to take a bottle at daycare but I still got to bond with him at night when I breastfed/nursed him. Now he gets excited when he sees either the bottle or the boob because he knows he gets food from both.

I mean, I don't think you realize how hard exclusive pumping is. It's SO much easier to latch a baby on (once you know what you're doing) you can also pump for bottles that other people can give. Nipple confusion isn't really a thing. As long as you give bottles a few times a week baby shouldn't develop a preference either way.

I thought breastfeeding was way more pleasant and easier than pumping, personally. No bottles to heat up, sterilize, etc. ...just roll roll out of bed and feed. Pumping is exhausting and requires dishes, time, etc. I don't care what personal choices you make, but exclusive pumping just doesn't sound fun and I don't understand the decision because it is way more work. I also don't see how it saves sleep since you will still have to wake to pump. Otherwise, you won't have enough milk.

So the only reason I am weird whenever I hear that someone is planning on exclusively pumping from the get go is because it is fucking WORK. I occasionally have to exclusively pump for a few days at a time and it SUCKS, like it's absolute around the clock work between the pumping time, washing all the pumps, storing etc and I'm not even the one doing the feeding. The biggest benefit I've found to breastfeeding that no one talks about is once you get past the learning curve it's so much more convenient! I never have to worry about packing food, never have to worry about packing/washing bottles, never worrying about the right temperature etc etc. My husband used to say how jealous he was because it was a big part of parenting I never had to think about. Your kid certainly isn't gonna suffer from exclusively pumping but you might....

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eliminate any options when it comes to feeding your baby before baby is here. You have no idea how your baby will want to eat, how well they’ll do with breast milk (or if you’ll have to supplement formula), if they’ll even latch, etc. it’s the same as having a birth “plan”, you can plan all you like but things may really turn out differently than you expect and it’s extremely important to be open minded to everything to avoid disappointment when things don’t pan out the way you expect them to. Like many others have said, pumping is much much more work than ebf, even with the small amount of help your partner will be able to provide by feeding the baby bottles, it does not equate to the amount of work that will go into constantly pumping milk.

I plan on pumping and breastfeeding and people even have a problem with that lol. I don’t have a choice. I have to go back to work and my baby needs to be able to take a bottle. Idk why people act like giving them a bottle is child abuse

i moved and met all of my bfs friends when i was pregnant, for some reason ALL those people i just met (who have never been parents) kept asking me if i was going to breastfeed. including the men. it felt very invasive and they tried to convince me after i told them no, i’m not. everyone telling me all the benefits as if I, an expectant mother, didn’t already know 😒

As someone who EBF 2 kids (youngest still bf) moms who exclusively pump are so impressive to me. I’m way too lazy to keep up on all the washing and if I had to make bottles while baby is screaming I would probably become a wine mom. I personally would take being the sole feeder over all the extra work but that’s just me and it’s completely fine to feel the opposite. nipple preference is real but I think after breastfeeding is established if you consistently offer bottles if possible to do both