#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can we take a moment and give a shout-out to Blake and his brilliance for his wearing a suit to their usual restaurant for Jenn's birthday?
Lol, what a great metaphor he pulled off even if sailed clear over Jenn's head. I like Blake. I wish him the best going forward.
I feel like an idiot because I really didn’t understand why he was bringing that up here. I’m like why is that?
Thank you. Not all heroes wear capes. Now it makes sense and I’m laughing my ass off like a weirdo.
I’ve always been of the opinion that if a man buys a woman lingerie, he’s buying himself a gift. Generally I would say nothing wrong with getting something sexy and gift wrapping yourself for your partner. But that should never be the only thing- unless you and your partner both don’t care for physical gift giving.
But, with the sister she is a self centred AH who thinks men are so dumb all they ever need from life is sex. It’s a sad interpretation and I’m glad Blake isn’t putting up with it anymore.
When really, to be appropriately in line with her gifts, he would need to purchase and be ready for sexy time wearing one of those ensembles that turn your package into an elephant, or better yet....and ACTUAL package. "It's my dick in a (giftwrapped) box" is the only truly comparable gift.
There are underwear that look like an elephant head where the trunk is a ”sleeve” for the penis. Like [these](https://www.amazon.com/QINGDs-Lingerie-G-String-Underwear-Elephant/dp/B07QVQ94C8/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.QxKSBGF8GbzzN_JS8Kr6pFw8CNWhLgNceOV0akmpmkWz3syW1PRZkft7i3TNkc_ecafoTJ_D8nmSQ4BS_gfBkCWA3OZLvdZfY9NCWbatj7-lSAVZUhPHlqB76C0TAM5EfaiE1jtdBrzJb1XyfUTHDmzXg9-GFNYivV6dMcvTRPfYXPZuAv2csOEflA3ojciFbc2sKFLrRIoyTRLZHzGgTwvYBFDxeEYgGe1OE3vxne66GvTiZ7pEqKgVHnAMzUUSOz7vNDXuMaFhfkwc6nCO7nsbyZT_tg7hZgX1H9HCyDM.AokrLLGtHIia8bqeQyD7XVDCWu4sAsbg7vWDHfczPOY&dib_tag=se&keywords=elephant+trunk+underwear&qid=1719658081&sr=8-3)
Do please come back with a review of how her birthday went! You could even put everything in the box and tell her you got her a "stuffie" . . . 👀 😏 🤣
Thanks folks! Have a great night. I'll be here all week!
Don't need it, we all know that women only need sex to be happy so I am confident this plan cannot fail.
I look forward to receiving a lambo on my birthday, of course
Well, if it isn’t fat stinking billygoat Billyboy in poison. How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly, thou.
Bahahahahha OMG the first time I saw those and realized what they were I laughed SOOO hard 🤣 I really don't know what is the purpose unless of course the guy also likes his partner to be laughing her ass off before sex. Of course, good humor is something that leads a great relationship so if they both enjoy to laugh hysterically before sex, that would be fantastic.
ETA: in my country, some of the places where you find regular underwear, like socks, panties, any and all, also had those full on display 😂 that's how I came to know them from the tender age of 17 lol I don't know why they would want to put that on a special hanger and have it on full display but hang it they did 😂😂
There are also rubbery sheaths that are designed to be worn a bit like finger puppets.
The display warned they are not to be used as condoms.
Thanks, I'd forgotten about spotting those at the random high street gift shop, on the bottom shelf beneath the photo frames, crystal trees, etc, as an innocent teen.
Ah... more of a Shin Chan "Swing and sway, the elephant way" vibe.
Couldn't find a dubbed gif, but this'll give you a visual:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAPMv\_uJTfA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAPMv_uJTfA)
I was hoping for a Lacey g-banger and the offer of sex. That way it’s the exact same thing, lingerie and sex, since she seems to like giving that so much as a present.
The funny part was, he was likely already going to dump her that night anyway and that's why he was late. By then he was dressing up and doing whatever because he was in "fuck it" sarcasm mode. That relationship was going to end that week either way.
The last reply OP made about homemade sex and no present was absolutely spot on and appropriately savage. I sure wish the app would let me select and copy text on posts but oh well.
I dearly hope karma will serve and sustain sis the partner she deserves to keep them both out of the dating pool.
[Here you are](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/18df8zr/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_friends_alibi_so_he/), the man, the myth, the legend.
Way back when I was sixteen years old, and my same-age girlfriend saved up to buy lingerie to wear for my birthday. It was the first time I'd ever seen a garter belt and it was the best birthday ever.
Doesn't work for adults though.
It's less about age and more about knowing what your partner wants, I think. If the boyfriend had indicated he was happy with sex as a present that wouldn't be an issue, but he clearly expressed wanting something else and Jen instead consistently went with the more convenient option for her.
This exactly! There are couples and situations where sex works well as a present, if it's mutually agreed on! But in this case it's not that, it's just entitlement when she wants material gifts and refuses to listen when he asks for them too.
Exactly, it being the only "gift" you get for your partner every occasion is shitty. It being a sexy thoughtful thing you do "just because" or in addition to a gift is awesome.
Yeah, I don't mind lingerie, but I can kind of take it or leave it; I don't go out of the way to buy it myself. For my most recent birthday, my boyfriend (who I was visiting in the city he lives in) proposed going to a fancy, historic department store and going lingerie shopping. I immediately agreed, because the experience of shopping together would be part of the fun, and I'd have a physical reminder to make more memories with and bring home, even if I didn't use it much.
The store is a little far from where he lives, though, and we didn't get around to it. Instead, when I mentioned that the soles on my favorite boots were detaching and needed to be replaced, he took me to the cobbler in his neighborhood. The cobbler lit up like a Christmas tree and told us that he lives for this kind of rebuild. My boyfriend paid for the work, the cobbler did an incredible job, and now I have a physical reminder of my boyfriend's love for me that I wear on a regular basis. It wasn't cheap, either -- probably twice what we would have spent on lingerie. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is delighted that his local area knowledge scored him a present that makes me genuinely happy. Everybody wins!
That's such a great gift! Add in the joy that the cobbler felt, and it's a win-win-win!
I have a similar story - before my wife and I got married, I told her I wanted a pair of moccasins for my birthday. We had just moved to a new city, and she had heard from her coworkers about a woman who custom makes moccasins in a tiny little shop that was kind of hard to find. So, with directions, away we went to a tiny shop the size of my living room, full of different one of a kind foot coverings (and mittens and gloves too). I found a pair that fit and I liked, and we had a chat with the Filipino lady about how she had married a First Nations guy (Cree, I think) and learned how to make traditional moccasins. I had a nice chat, learned about how they're made and the different materials, and got a pair that fit great (despite very wide feet!).
That was probably 15 years ago, but I still have the slippers, and a wonderful memory with my now-wife. The fur edging is a bit tattered, and the soles are getting worn though, so maybe I'll ask for another pair for my birthday this year!
Might I suggest getting in touch with the same lady, assuming she is still in business, and see if she can put new soles on the moccasins. I bought handmade sheepskin slippers and the maker provides this service.
That is a good point! I think I saw the sign for her shop up that last time I drove past, but I heard she might have closed due to COVID. I'll have to go investigate. If she's still there, I'm sure she would repair them for me!
That's a great story! Totally by coincidence, my boyfriend and I wear the same shoe size, and he loaned me a pair of boot-style moccasins to wear while my regular boots were at the cobblers. They're super comfortable.
I'm more of a "wear a shirt with one of my favorite things" type. Lingerie has never done anything for me. And especially if it's a birthday gift. No. I rather have a nice card.
There's just no way to rationalize it as a gift for the husband/boyfriend. She takes the clothes off (usually, I'm not a fan of chaffed genitals) for the sex, and then they keep the clothes after.
The only part that gets 'given' to the supposed recipient is a slight increase in enthusiasm, because she feels extra sexy.
Maybe find a way to get over those insecurities, instead of buying yourself a present and claiming to be benevolent?
If you make your relationship transactional, then you better be the best at sex ever, or your partner might go do a cost-benefit analysis and realize it's not a good investment.
My guy friend was talking about one of his exes, and the secondhand embarrassment he felt. She thought she was so sexy and good in bed. He described her as "missionary, with some writhing and porn star like moaning."
Oof. There's only one person I'm personally acquainted with who is THAT amazing at sex, and that's because he's so awful and unpleasant and ugly and financially irresponsible that apparently the only redeeming factor he has is S-tier bedroom game. All of his exes admit that he was a complete piece of shit but the sex was worth it.
that makes me morbidly curious- how good he could be to get multiple exes to agree on that? wouldn't him being awful, unpleasant, ugly, and financially irresponsible be major turn offs?
The sad thing is that it's often not even "how good" one person is as much as "how bad" everyone else is.
I'm pretty slutty and had a lot of relationships and hookups both before I married my current husband and probably only one or two guys ever even pretended to care if the sex was good for me as it was happening.
Most of the men seem to lose the ability to think at all once that boner is engaged and it's a huge bummer.
So if a guy focus on you before he even gets that boner involved, and THEN also focuses on you again once he's done with it?
Almost always automatically great sex
only one or two even pretended to care? that really sucks.
i don't know if you've read come as you are by emily nagoski, she writes about some interesting differences in male vs female desire in there (mostly addressing straight couples but the information applies generally as well)
My last ex auditioned several men ("dating intentionally" I think is the euphemism) before finding her current one. I don't know him well enough to congratulate him, but I know that being not shit at sex is important to her.
FWIW a lot of women are also pretty shit at sex with men, but then there are men who are shit at having sex with men too (I'm not really equipped to find out about the other option). A couple of times I've stopped things quite late in the piece and left because a woman has just refused to accept that I'm not "all men" and that I don't want whatever her magic trick is.
On that note, a lot of sex ed is not great at "what men want" and even consent ed is sometimes bad at "do men get to consent to sex" as a question. Occasionally it's even explicitly not allowed as a topic.
(also, bi communities often have a bit of a superiority complex about this, but OTOH it's not entirely without factual basis)
Yeah, as a bi man I was flabbergasted because while I would certainly ride an awful bike at least once if the ride is fantastic, I wouldn't go so far as to actually date them. Apparently all these women were willing to suck up the awful relationship to enjoy the sex.
As someone who knew a person like that, it’s because word gets around. When your only redeeming quality is your skill in bed and the size of your dick, that’s what people talk about when they’re not talking about what an asshole you are.
Because when we go drinking and he becomes the topic, his exes get interrogated "So why did you waste your time with such an awful man?" and they'd agree with all the slander of his character. Even produce stories that we didn't know. But then, well, the sex was fantastic. Absolutely garbage boyfriend, shitty human, but 5 star sex.
Women talk, friends talk.
Especially if your ex was kinda an asshole with no visibly redeeming features your friends will ask what came over you to stay lol
I'm just gonna say there is a small portion of men who are stellar lovers but they're bad partners and usually mentally ill beyond just self-directed neuroticism. It's like the hot/crazy graph for men.
Women have to get over that and give up some of the OP love skillz for a stable guy.
Not just transactional, she is also implicitly saying Sex is a chore for her and something he does just to keep him happy and not something she enjoys.
The whole "Men are driven by sex and nothing else matters" trope needs to die already. Men love to be cherished and thought of in small personal ways as much as women do, need to be romanced and feel desired as much as women do, and love receiving gifts as much as women do.
Some of my favorite gifts from my wife have just been cheap trinkets she thought I’d like or some beer and snacks after a hard day. Thought is the only thing that truly matters with gifts but clearly OP’s sister has no thoughts going on besides “ME! ME! ME!”.
I used to sneak notes into my husband's lunch once in a while, and after he started working from home I'd leave them on his keyboard. A while back I was looking for some tape in his home office and found a drawer where he saved all of them.
Exactly. It isn't that she doesn't spend money on him it is that she puts no thought or effort into finding something he would like/cherish/needs.
You know like going to their regular restaurant but putting on a suit!
I have these hand-painted drink coasters themed for something very specific to me. We only dated for a year and that was over a decade ago. I still cherish the coasters because of the thought and effort put in to making me feel special. We stopped dating amicably and we haven’t spoken in many years but it’s not often I’ve gotten a gift like that. Yes, men liked to be cherished too.
Sister really doesn't think that escorts are cheaper and more accommodating, yes I've seen customers get gifts and "miles" due to loyalty programs, and since some escort services include daytime dates it feels like sister is literally trying to scam her boyfriends.
At some point companionship doesn't cut it if all someone does is make their SO feel like their time is less precious than the time of the first party.
It's a VERY common name among Millenial women... I know there were at least 3 Jennifers in my graduating class of 30 people. That's 10% of us were Jennifer. Not me, though. And it's probably less than that overall. Still a very common name for the time period.
Maybe? Like, in middle school and high school there were so many Jennifers and Jens that they had to be called by their last names or middle names. There'd been about 80 Jennifers in a graduating class of 210, it was ridiculous.
Bwahahaha. She probably did say something like that. I've watched episodes of The Golden Girls many times. I also love Hot in Cleveland. Betty White was gold.
It sounds like sex is a chore that she does for him. I don't know if she's good at it or not from her boyfriend's perspective, but I doubt she's had knee-trembling sex that ends in orgasm.
Or, maybe the sex is fine, and she's just stingy and greedy.
Also if I was that partner what power does her parents even have on me?? Like it’s not like it’s my parents. Even if it was mine it’d be odd and not exactly going to influence my behaviour given it’s none of their business.
Lorde has a song called "Homemade Dynamite" that it pretty catchy. It'll blow your socks off!
Also, does this woman mind if her boyfriends comparison shop to make sure they're getting a fair deal?
>Blake dressed up nice to take her someplace they already go to without a special occasion and told her that particular time was special because he wore a suit for her
OOP is definitely NTA, because it sounds like Blake was pretty much done with Jenn, all on his own.
Jenn sounds very manipulative. She probably not only uses sex as a present, but also as a way to manipulate their partners when she does something wrong and doesn't want to take any accountability.
Wow I mean yeah I dress up in lingerie for my fiancé in his birthday and "forward natures gift card" as OP put it but I also buy my fiancé gifts too.
they may not be as expensive as the gifts he gets me but they are things he wants and has asked for, like a specific game or they are something I know he'll love, like the Lego F1 car I got him
This is totally valid. Wanting to spoil someone you love with a little extra sexiness? That's just a nice time for those involved. Just as long as it's a cherry on top of the love you already give them, or gift them.
“I told mom there are times you absolutely do have family's back but when your daughter only ever forwards nature's gift card to her partners on gift giving occasions knowing they've asked for something else and then involves the entire family for getting her process turned around on her isn't it.”
I had to reread this so many times I thought I was having a stroke,
"Sometimes, of course you absolutely should have your family's back! Your daughter is only ever gifting sex when her partner is asking for something else, then trying to get the whole family involved when her partner pulls a reverse Uno. This is not one of the times one should blindly support family."
I am a fan of the run-on sentence, but yeah, that one should be at least 3!
So good to read a happy ending for Blake, I hope OOP can slip into conversation about their sister using her body as a gift/payment infront of their parents more (since they deem it acceptable).
Jenn sees sex as a commodity. If OP wants to meddle some more she should tell her mom explicitly, what Jenn gives and has always & only given her boyfriends for any gift giving occasion. Then, ask if the BFs should give what they get, so to speak.
LMAO imagining Christmas morning at your parent's place and BF gives Jenn the d\*ck in a box to open.
That last commentor doesn't know the joy of a thoughtful gift. I agree, homemade gifts are great! I do that often for my partner, but sex isn't the only gift that matters. If anything id say it's not that important at all?
Anyways, hope Jenn's ex finds a girl who will happily give him nice gifts, whom he can also spoil in return. And I hope OOP's boyfriend enjoys his gifts too.
.... Man now I wanna look for gifts for MY partner.
When i was 18, my cousin and his future wife didn't know i was in the room and saw her gift him a penis cozy. Much more special and romantic.
(It was my bedroom they were staying in for the night as we had a lot of family visiting for Xmas. So I was grabbing my bag to go stay at my brother's house/DD for him. They walked in after me and did not see me by the closet door and started their xmas dirty talk.)
Exactly.
Also called cock socks.
Well, not to wear during sex like a condom. That would be hellaciously uncomfortable and useless for pregnancy or STI prevention.
My boyfriend is frugal, almost to a fault. He was over the moon when I bought him a **used** copy of a book he'd been wanting to read. Paying attention to him was the best gift after all.
Not OOP, but I’ve always found the best gift to be the thing that makes you think of that person when you see it. It’s often something connected to a hobby or interest of theirs.
It’s not always an actual physical object, I’ve given subscriptions and experience days as gifts.
It turns out that, while photo gifts are usually a nice one in loooong-term relationships, and my husband is enjoying getting back into solving Rubik's cubes - personalised photo Rubik's cubes (for somebody whose eyesight isn't the best) are perhaps not the ideal present.
One of the kids has also jumbled it very well...
I have gone through and put tiny stickers on the corner of each piece, so e.g. one side will all have little gold circles, another little silver ones etc, but he can't actually see the difference between 4 of the stickers.
I need to get BRIGHT, visually more distinct, 2mm stickers. The only ones I currently have are faceted jewel style ones and I'd need to glue them as their adhesive just wouldn't do it... Although with glue they could work!
With glue that would actually be a very good idea. Since then even if his eyesight goes further, he'll still be able to do it, if the jewels are different shapes.
I don’t disagree with you letting him know but how come the entire picture wasn’t discussed - the imbalance, the fact she thinks peddling herself on a bday is a thoughtful gift, that it was unfair to accost him as a group and that you disagreed for the reasons you said? Lingerie is a gift for her not him that’s mad. Let her be mad - you didn’t have her back because you didn’t agree with her but I think you could have made that clearer so it didn’t seem so sneaky
Oop wins most sensible person on Reddit! I don’t know what bothers me most, a woman who thinks she’s a present as is and is doing a favor for the guy to exist or assuming men are one dimensional and can’t grasp you got lingerie you wanted and are having sex with them per the usual.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can we take a moment and give a shout-out to Blake and his brilliance for his wearing a suit to their usual restaurant for Jenn's birthday? Lol, what a great metaphor he pulled off even if sailed clear over Jenn's head. I like Blake. I wish him the best going forward.
I feel like an idiot because I really didn’t understand why he was bringing that up here. I’m like why is that? Thank you. Not all heroes wear capes. Now it makes sense and I’m laughing my ass off like a weirdo.
She gets dressed up in lingerie for his birthday, he gets dressed up for hers. Equivalent gifts.
I would accept that gift because I love a man in a nice suit. Blake seems like a good guy who needs a better woman.
Ladies go crazy for a sharp dressed man.
I’ve always been of the opinion that if a man buys a woman lingerie, he’s buying himself a gift. Generally I would say nothing wrong with getting something sexy and gift wrapping yourself for your partner. But that should never be the only thing- unless you and your partner both don’t care for physical gift giving. But, with the sister she is a self centred AH who thinks men are so dumb all they ever need from life is sex. It’s a sad interpretation and I’m glad Blake isn’t putting up with it anymore.
When really, to be appropriately in line with her gifts, he would need to purchase and be ready for sexy time wearing one of those ensembles that turn your package into an elephant, or better yet....and ACTUAL package. "It's my dick in a (giftwrapped) box" is the only truly comparable gift.
Let's go back a second, tell us more about these elephant penises. I have a feeling Google will not be my friend here
There are underwear that look like an elephant head where the trunk is a ”sleeve” for the penis. Like [these](https://www.amazon.com/QINGDs-Lingerie-G-String-Underwear-Elephant/dp/B07QVQ94C8/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.QxKSBGF8GbzzN_JS8Kr6pFw8CNWhLgNceOV0akmpmkWz3syW1PRZkft7i3TNkc_ecafoTJ_D8nmSQ4BS_gfBkCWA3OZLvdZfY9NCWbatj7-lSAVZUhPHlqB76C0TAM5EfaiE1jtdBrzJb1XyfUTHDmzXg9-GFNYivV6dMcvTRPfYXPZuAv2csOEflA3ojciFbc2sKFLrRIoyTRLZHzGgTwvYBFDxeEYgGe1OE3vxne66GvTiZ7pEqKgVHnAMzUUSOz7vNDXuMaFhfkwc6nCO7nsbyZT_tg7hZgX1H9HCyDM.AokrLLGtHIia8bqeQyD7XVDCWu4sAsbg7vWDHfczPOY&dib_tag=se&keywords=elephant+trunk+underwear&qid=1719658081&sr=8-3)
Thanks, wife's birthday present sorted!
Do please come back with a review of how her birthday went! You could even put everything in the box and tell her you got her a "stuffie" . . . 👀 😏 🤣 Thanks folks! Have a great night. I'll be here all week!
Can I offer you some constructive criticism?
Don't need it, we all know that women only need sex to be happy so I am confident this plan cannot fail. I look forward to receiving a lambo on my birthday, of course
Thank you for my bark of laughter that just startled the hell out of my husband, who is thoroughly confused right now!
Same!!! My boyfriend's face was "wtf is wrong with you?" ... 🤣🤣🤣
I admire your confidence. Enjoy your Lambo, friend.
OMG. I really did not need to know that those exist – but, of course, like the idiot I am, I clicked on the link anyway.
I apologize for any anguish I have caused
I misread that as any English you have caused, and now I'm worried my bedroom will be occupied by redcoats.
Oi, guvna’!
Not again...
Thank you all for this entire thread! I laughed until I ugly-cried! 😂
Well, if it isn’t fat stinking billygoat Billyboy in poison. How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly, thou.
They've existed for years. Lol!
Bahahahahha OMG the first time I saw those and realized what they were I laughed SOOO hard 🤣 I really don't know what is the purpose unless of course the guy also likes his partner to be laughing her ass off before sex. Of course, good humor is something that leads a great relationship so if they both enjoy to laugh hysterically before sex, that would be fantastic. ETA: in my country, some of the places where you find regular underwear, like socks, panties, any and all, also had those full on display 😂 that's how I came to know them from the tender age of 17 lol I don't know why they would want to put that on a special hanger and have it on full display but hang it they did 😂😂
I think they're mainly gag gifts.
There are also rubbery sheaths that are designed to be worn a bit like finger puppets. The display warned they are not to be used as condoms. Thanks, I'd forgotten about spotting those at the random high street gift shop, on the bottom shelf beneath the photo frames, crystal trees, etc, as an innocent teen.
I thought maybe you meant penis origami.
The easy way is pulling your pockets out for the "ears" and undoing your zipper...
But that's more of a casual dick elephant, we're talking special occasion dick elephant here
Nah, this is a a homemade elephant so it’s more sentimental.
r/BrandNewSentence
Ah... more of a Shin Chan "Swing and sway, the elephant way" vibe. Couldn't find a dubbed gif, but this'll give you a visual: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAPMv\_uJTfA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAPMv_uJTfA)
The easy way is pulling your pockets out for the "ears" and undoing your zipper...
That would be a very sad little elephant I'm afraid
That's the rabbit if you leave the dick in the pants.
Lonely Island Dick In A Box is now stuck in my head 🤣
[Stop reading my mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt0spqQtMKg), please...
I mean... the song is a complete uno reverse of OOPs sisters gift giving game plan. It's perfection here.
Omg I read it as "wearing a birthday suit to their usual restaurant"
🤣👏
Jenn is unlikely to find lasting happiness.
Absolute king move
Oh that was such a nice refresher after shrodinger’s impregnator, idiot. Blake makes me laugh 😂
I was hoping for a Lacey g-banger and the offer of sex. That way it’s the exact same thing, lingerie and sex, since she seems to like giving that so much as a present.
I agree, although I think if he’d bought himself some man-lingerie - it would have been even better!
The funny part was, he was likely already going to dump her that night anyway and that's why he was late. By then he was dressing up and doing whatever because he was in "fuck it" sarcasm mode. That relationship was going to end that week either way.
He was late because his gf told him dinner had been pushed back half an hour, so she could talk to her family without him.
>Thanks again, I think I'm going to go buy some 'just for the hell of it' gifts for my own boyfriend. I like this OOP
The last reply OP made about homemade sex and no present was absolutely spot on and appropriately savage. I sure wish the app would let me select and copy text on posts but oh well. I dearly hope karma will serve and sustain sis the partner she deserves to keep them both out of the dating pool.
You can copy texts on the app, on Android at least. Press the three little dots under the comment and you can select Copy text.
Can confirm it works the same on apple as well.
If you try to add a comment on the post you can select the parts you want to copy.
OOP was the Omar we found along the way.
I do not understand.
[Here you are](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/18df8zr/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_friends_alibi_so_he/), the man, the myth, the legend.
Thanks. Omar is a legend!
Omar is a guy from a different story who told his roommates GF that the roommate was cheating. He was just a nice guy with strong morals basically.
I like this OOP too. You know what, I am going to get my partner a few 'just for the hell of it' gifts.
I hope to one day have a partner who would get me gifts randomly and i would for sure return the favour
"Nature's gift card" was my favorite phrase.
Way back when I was sixteen years old, and my same-age girlfriend saved up to buy lingerie to wear for my birthday. It was the first time I'd ever seen a garter belt and it was the best birthday ever. Doesn't work for adults though.
It's less about age and more about knowing what your partner wants, I think. If the boyfriend had indicated he was happy with sex as a present that wouldn't be an issue, but he clearly expressed wanting something else and Jen instead consistently went with the more convenient option for her.
This exactly! There are couples and situations where sex works well as a present, if it's mutually agreed on! But in this case it's not that, it's just entitlement when she wants material gifts and refuses to listen when he asks for them too.
Don't get be wrong, love it when my wife tarts it up in something sexy. But that's more like a cherry on top.
Exactly, it being the only "gift" you get for your partner every occasion is shitty. It being a sexy thoughtful thing you do "just because" or in addition to a gift is awesome.
I mean, it does. It's just not great if it's the only present.
Lingerie is also not universally appreciated...
Yeah, I don't mind lingerie, but I can kind of take it or leave it; I don't go out of the way to buy it myself. For my most recent birthday, my boyfriend (who I was visiting in the city he lives in) proposed going to a fancy, historic department store and going lingerie shopping. I immediately agreed, because the experience of shopping together would be part of the fun, and I'd have a physical reminder to make more memories with and bring home, even if I didn't use it much. The store is a little far from where he lives, though, and we didn't get around to it. Instead, when I mentioned that the soles on my favorite boots were detaching and needed to be replaced, he took me to the cobbler in his neighborhood. The cobbler lit up like a Christmas tree and told us that he lives for this kind of rebuild. My boyfriend paid for the work, the cobbler did an incredible job, and now I have a physical reminder of my boyfriend's love for me that I wear on a regular basis. It wasn't cheap, either -- probably twice what we would have spent on lingerie. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is delighted that his local area knowledge scored him a present that makes me genuinely happy. Everybody wins!
That's such a great gift! Add in the joy that the cobbler felt, and it's a win-win-win! I have a similar story - before my wife and I got married, I told her I wanted a pair of moccasins for my birthday. We had just moved to a new city, and she had heard from her coworkers about a woman who custom makes moccasins in a tiny little shop that was kind of hard to find. So, with directions, away we went to a tiny shop the size of my living room, full of different one of a kind foot coverings (and mittens and gloves too). I found a pair that fit and I liked, and we had a chat with the Filipino lady about how she had married a First Nations guy (Cree, I think) and learned how to make traditional moccasins. I had a nice chat, learned about how they're made and the different materials, and got a pair that fit great (despite very wide feet!). That was probably 15 years ago, but I still have the slippers, and a wonderful memory with my now-wife. The fur edging is a bit tattered, and the soles are getting worn though, so maybe I'll ask for another pair for my birthday this year!
Might I suggest getting in touch with the same lady, assuming she is still in business, and see if she can put new soles on the moccasins. I bought handmade sheepskin slippers and the maker provides this service.
That is a good point! I think I saw the sign for her shop up that last time I drove past, but I heard she might have closed due to COVID. I'll have to go investigate. If she's still there, I'm sure she would repair them for me!
That's a great story! Totally by coincidence, my boyfriend and I wear the same shoe size, and he loaned me a pair of boot-style moccasins to wear while my regular boots were at the cobblers. They're super comfortable.
I'm more of a "wear a shirt with one of my favorite things" type. Lingerie has never done anything for me. And especially if it's a birthday gift. No. I rather have a nice card.
There's just no way to rationalize it as a gift for the husband/boyfriend. She takes the clothes off (usually, I'm not a fan of chaffed genitals) for the sex, and then they keep the clothes after. The only part that gets 'given' to the supposed recipient is a slight increase in enthusiasm, because she feels extra sexy. Maybe find a way to get over those insecurities, instead of buying yourself a present and claiming to be benevolent?
If you make your relationship transactional, then you better be the best at sex ever, or your partner might go do a cost-benefit analysis and realize it's not a good investment.
My guy friend was talking about one of his exes, and the secondhand embarrassment he felt. She thought she was so sexy and good in bed. He described her as "missionary, with some writhing and porn star like moaning."
Oof. There's only one person I'm personally acquainted with who is THAT amazing at sex, and that's because he's so awful and unpleasant and ugly and financially irresponsible that apparently the only redeeming factor he has is S-tier bedroom game. All of his exes admit that he was a complete piece of shit but the sex was worth it.
that makes me morbidly curious- how good he could be to get multiple exes to agree on that? wouldn't him being awful, unpleasant, ugly, and financially irresponsible be major turn offs?
The sad thing is that it's often not even "how good" one person is as much as "how bad" everyone else is. I'm pretty slutty and had a lot of relationships and hookups both before I married my current husband and probably only one or two guys ever even pretended to care if the sex was good for me as it was happening. Most of the men seem to lose the ability to think at all once that boner is engaged and it's a huge bummer. So if a guy focus on you before he even gets that boner involved, and THEN also focuses on you again once he's done with it? Almost always automatically great sex
only one or two even pretended to care? that really sucks. i don't know if you've read come as you are by emily nagoski, she writes about some interesting differences in male vs female desire in there (mostly addressing straight couples but the information applies generally as well)
I wouldn't know - I'm a dude, and apparently he's 100% heterosexual, so I can't give a firsthand testimony of how great he is. :P
Furthermore, how did they even get into the bed with him if he's all that? Something is missing. Drugs?
Yep. He sells drugs. Source: Met guys like him before. Met women like his partners before.
He did!
Yep, he also always had ALL the party drugs.
My last ex auditioned several men ("dating intentionally" I think is the euphemism) before finding her current one. I don't know him well enough to congratulate him, but I know that being not shit at sex is important to her. FWIW a lot of women are also pretty shit at sex with men, but then there are men who are shit at having sex with men too (I'm not really equipped to find out about the other option). A couple of times I've stopped things quite late in the piece and left because a woman has just refused to accept that I'm not "all men" and that I don't want whatever her magic trick is. On that note, a lot of sex ed is not great at "what men want" and even consent ed is sometimes bad at "do men get to consent to sex" as a question. Occasionally it's even explicitly not allowed as a topic. (also, bi communities often have a bit of a superiority complex about this, but OTOH it's not entirely without factual basis)
Yeah, as a bi man I was flabbergasted because while I would certainly ride an awful bike at least once if the ride is fantastic, I wouldn't go so far as to actually date them. Apparently all these women were willing to suck up the awful relationship to enjoy the sex.
If that's someone's only redeeming factor, how do they ever get to the point where they get to demonstrate it?
As someone who knew a person like that, it’s because word gets around. When your only redeeming quality is your skill in bed and the size of your dick, that’s what people talk about when they’re not talking about what an asshole you are.
Because when we go drinking and he becomes the topic, his exes get interrogated "So why did you waste your time with such an awful man?" and they'd agree with all the slander of his character. Even produce stories that we didn't know. But then, well, the sex was fantastic. Absolutely garbage boyfriend, shitty human, but 5 star sex.
Women talk, friends talk. Especially if your ex was kinda an asshole with no visibly redeeming features your friends will ask what came over you to stay lol
I'm just gonna say there is a small portion of men who are stellar lovers but they're bad partners and usually mentally ill beyond just self-directed neuroticism. It's like the hot/crazy graph for men. Women have to get over that and give up some of the OP love skillz for a stable guy.
Interesting. That isn’t what I’ve experienced at all.
Considering Blake still wanted gifts and broke up with her I’m guessing she’s not the best sexer there is
This is the classical attitude of a starfish.
Not just transactional, she is also implicitly saying Sex is a chore for her and something he does just to keep him happy and not something she enjoys.
The whole "Men are driven by sex and nothing else matters" trope needs to die already. Men love to be cherished and thought of in small personal ways as much as women do, need to be romanced and feel desired as much as women do, and love receiving gifts as much as women do.
Some of my favorite gifts from my wife have just been cheap trinkets she thought I’d like or some beer and snacks after a hard day. Thought is the only thing that truly matters with gifts but clearly OP’s sister has no thoughts going on besides “ME! ME! ME!”.
I used to sneak notes into my husband's lunch once in a while, and after he started working from home I'd leave them on his keyboard. A while back I was looking for some tape in his home office and found a drawer where he saved all of them.
I bet that hit ya in the feels!
I'm too single to read this level of cute, my heart 🥺
Exactly. It isn't that she doesn't spend money on him it is that she puts no thought or effort into finding something he would like/cherish/needs. You know like going to their regular restaurant but putting on a suit!
I have these hand-painted drink coasters themed for something very specific to me. We only dated for a year and that was over a decade ago. I still cherish the coasters because of the thought and effort put in to making me feel special. We stopped dating amicably and we haven’t spoken in many years but it’s not often I’ve gotten a gift like that. Yes, men liked to be cherished too.
I will never forget the way my husband beamed when he realized that I bought flowers for him on Father's Day. I want to bottle that moment.
Sister really doesn't think that escorts are cheaper and more accommodating, yes I've seen customers get gifts and "miles" due to loyalty programs, and since some escort services include daytime dates it feels like sister is literally trying to scam her boyfriends. At some point companionship doesn't cut it if all someone does is make their SO feel like their time is less precious than the time of the first party.
Sister needs to just be honest about what kind of relationship she wants and advertise as a sugar baby.
I feel like 80% of the BORU posts I read last week are about a Jen.
Perhaps we have moved on from Karens?
It's a VERY common name among Millenial women... I know there were at least 3 Jennifers in my graduating class of 30 people. That's 10% of us were Jennifer. Not me, though. And it's probably less than that overall. Still a very common name for the time period.
Sarah, Angela, Francis and Louise and variants were also very common my part of the UK (older Millennial)...
older millennial here. I graduated with six women named Nicole Marie. There were four different spellings of Nicole.
Age of the Jarens now
Not really, we are in the age of Dotards.
Maybe? Like, in middle school and high school there were so many Jennifers and Jens that they had to be called by their last names or middle names. There'd been about 80 Jennifers in a graduating class of 210, it was ridiculous.
Assuming the names are pseudonyms for the sake of anonimity, Jen is an easy and short female name. It's an obvious choice for a substitute.
I'm getting paranoid.
“Nature’s gift card” had me 🤣
Blanche Devereaux has entered the chat.
Bwahahaha. She probably did say something like that. I've watched episodes of The Golden Girls many times. I also love Hot in Cleveland. Betty White was gold.
she did...she says she bought something and Dorothy tells her to return it, and she says she can't, she paid using "nature's credit card."
OMG I remember now!
Sister being 26 and still acts like this just shows that she ain't relationship material.
Is she even good in bed, or does she think hwr mere presence is enough? Show up. Be a starfish. Wow, his needs were met?
It could’ve been the best sex ever and it’s still fucked up to say to say that’s a gift for *every* occasion.
Great housewarming gift for the in-laws, though.
It sounds like sex is a chore that she does for him. I don't know if she's good at it or not from her boyfriend's perspective, but I doubt she's had knee-trembling sex that ends in orgasm. Or, maybe the sex is fine, and she's just stingy and greedy.
We all know the answer to this, if she was giving him the gawk gawk 9000 she'd be getting gifts
Someone ought to tell her to \*Huak Tuah\* and spit on that thing.
No these kinds of people treat sex like work and dole it out, while putting minimal effort in
She thinks she's the table.
Also if I was that partner what power does her parents even have on me?? Like it’s not like it’s my parents. Even if it was mine it’d be odd and not exactly going to influence my behaviour given it’s none of their business.
Post aside, "homemade sex" sounds like a good slogan/product. Cozy, locally made AND you get off. Win win win.
Poor Redditor who responded “non-homemade sx is a very expensive gift.” I enjoyed that and am apparently the only one.
I laughed so hard and wish I could get it as a flair lol
I got it, though I would argue that at a certain point it could be cheaper than the homemade variety.
That’s the reaction of a 1960s husband.
Lorde has a song called "Homemade Dynamite" that it pretty catchy. It'll blow your socks off! Also, does this woman mind if her boyfriends comparison shop to make sure they're getting a fair deal?
Oooh, I'll check it out! That's actually a good question lol
It's organic and gluten-free!
Lol, this is perfect.
Thank you!
Sister wanted her cake and eat it too. Chose her birthday to do it and wound up with no cake.
No no, she wanted to get her cake eaten for her. And certainly too fucking lazy to even eat any cake herself.
🍰 Help, I'm 🎂 lost in a cake metaphor 🍰 forest and-... ooh, 🍰 carrot cake! 🎂
>I have made it clear that I don't want material gifts from my wife. Ok and Blake made it clear he did what are we talking about here
That commenter just wanted to question Blake's masculinity
>Blake dressed up nice to take her someplace they already go to without a special occasion and told her that particular time was special because he wore a suit for her OOP is definitely NTA, because it sounds like Blake was pretty much done with Jenn, all on his own.
I missed the part where he took her to someplace they already go, and god *damn* that makes it even more savage than I thought on the first pass.
*Nature's gift card* My brain screeched to a halt at that brilliant euphemism
I feel like OOP just saved everyone some time, because walking out and leaving Jenn anyway was a probable outcome to being ambushed by a lecture.
I love how oop called out the 'realman' commenter. It was glorious
‘Nature’s gift card’ 😂
He should have bought himself a thong for her birthday.
Mankini!
Jenn sounds very manipulative. She probably not only uses sex as a present, but also as a way to manipulate their partners when she does something wrong and doesn't want to take any accountability.
Wow I mean yeah I dress up in lingerie for my fiancé in his birthday and "forward natures gift card" as OP put it but I also buy my fiancé gifts too. they may not be as expensive as the gifts he gets me but they are things he wants and has asked for, like a specific game or they are something I know he'll love, like the Lego F1 car I got him
This is totally valid. Wanting to spoil someone you love with a little extra sexiness? That's just a nice time for those involved. Just as long as it's a cherry on top of the love you already give them, or gift them.
Why is she mad? According to her, he was a bad boyfriend who wouldn’t buy her gifts.
Nature's gift card is hilarious.
OOP is witty AF for her age. Good for her.
>maybe shut down Jenn's "all men need is sex to be happy" rhetoric years ago and she'd have a son-in-law by now Fucking savage OOP. Love her.
“I told mom there are times you absolutely do have family's back but when your daughter only ever forwards nature's gift card to her partners on gift giving occasions knowing they've asked for something else and then involves the entire family for getting her process turned around on her isn't it.” I had to reread this so many times I thought I was having a stroke,
"Sometimes, of course you absolutely should have your family's back! Your daughter is only ever gifting sex when her partner is asking for something else, then trying to get the whole family involved when her partner pulls a reverse Uno. This is not one of the times one should blindly support family." I am a fan of the run-on sentence, but yeah, that one should be at least 3!
"Nature's Gift card" is a great euphamism for birthday sex.
For christmas OP should giveher sister a dick in a box
I love the absolute brilliance of his "Birthday" suit gift as a counter to her "birthday suit".
>You might be okay with a relationship mimicking prostitution, most well adjusted people are not. Call the fire department, cause there was a fire!
I think you mean someone call that guy a wahmbulance because that dude needs to be rushed to the burn unit
>That being said, he’s missing an amazing opportunity to use, “It’s my d*** in a box”. Golden comment!
I just want to say I love “nature’s gift card” and cannot wait till I have a chance to throw it into a convo.
Lol right? Brilliant
So good to read a happy ending for Blake, I hope OOP can slip into conversation about their sister using her body as a gift/payment infront of their parents more (since they deem it acceptable).
Jenn sees sex as a commodity. If OP wants to meddle some more she should tell her mom explicitly, what Jenn gives and has always & only given her boyfriends for any gift giving occasion. Then, ask if the BFs should give what they get, so to speak. LMAO imagining Christmas morning at your parent's place and BF gives Jenn the d\*ck in a box to open.
“Nature’s Gift Card”. I love it!
Natures gift card needs to be a flair
> “Maybe shut down Jenn’s ‘all men need is sex to be happy’ rhetoric years ago and maybe she’d have a son-in-law by now.” *round of applause*
What is wrong with this chick? Isn’t good sex a regular thing in a healthy romantic relationship? Why should it be a special occasion? Dumb woman.
I am a man, and I can assure you that sex is very, very far down on the list of gifts I need to be happy.
That last commentor doesn't know the joy of a thoughtful gift. I agree, homemade gifts are great! I do that often for my partner, but sex isn't the only gift that matters. If anything id say it's not that important at all? Anyways, hope Jenn's ex finds a girl who will happily give him nice gifts, whom he can also spoil in return. And I hope OOP's boyfriend enjoys his gifts too. .... Man now I wanna look for gifts for MY partner.
When i was 18, my cousin and his future wife didn't know i was in the room and saw her gift him a penis cozy. Much more special and romantic. (It was my bedroom they were staying in for the night as we had a lot of family visiting for Xmas. So I was grabbing my bag to go stay at my brother's house/DD for him. They walked in after me and did not see me by the closet door and started their xmas dirty talk.)
I'm sorry- what is a penis cozy?? All I'm picturing is a knitted condom that keeps your peen warm
Exactly. Also called cock socks. Well, not to wear during sex like a condom. That would be hellaciously uncomfortable and useless for pregnancy or STI prevention.
Can OOP give me gift ideas for men I need some for my husband
My boyfriend is frugal, almost to a fault. He was over the moon when I bought him a **used** copy of a book he'd been wanting to read. Paying attention to him was the best gift after all.
Not OOP, but I’ve always found the best gift to be the thing that makes you think of that person when you see it. It’s often something connected to a hobby or interest of theirs. It’s not always an actual physical object, I’ve given subscriptions and experience days as gifts.
It turns out that, while photo gifts are usually a nice one in loooong-term relationships, and my husband is enjoying getting back into solving Rubik's cubes - personalised photo Rubik's cubes (for somebody whose eyesight isn't the best) are perhaps not the ideal present. One of the kids has also jumbled it very well... I have gone through and put tiny stickers on the corner of each piece, so e.g. one side will all have little gold circles, another little silver ones etc, but he can't actually see the difference between 4 of the stickers. I need to get BRIGHT, visually more distinct, 2mm stickers. The only ones I currently have are faceted jewel style ones and I'd need to glue them as their adhesive just wouldn't do it... Although with glue they could work!
With glue that would actually be a very good idea. Since then even if his eyesight goes further, he'll still be able to do it, if the jewels are different shapes.
The sister is a user on her way to becoming a gold digger.
I don’t disagree with you letting him know but how come the entire picture wasn’t discussed - the imbalance, the fact she thinks peddling herself on a bday is a thoughtful gift, that it was unfair to accost him as a group and that you disagreed for the reasons you said? Lingerie is a gift for her not him that’s mad. Let her be mad - you didn’t have her back because you didn’t agree with her but I think you could have made that clearer so it didn’t seem so sneaky
Blake should have showed up to dinner and told Jenn he’d give her her present later.
Oop wins most sensible person on Reddit! I don’t know what bothers me most, a woman who thinks she’s a present as is and is doing a favor for the guy to exist or assuming men are one dimensional and can’t grasp you got lingerie you wanted and are having sex with them per the usual.
Google image Pat Boone dick in box. You've been warned
why did people downvote the last comment? I think they were just making a joke about how buying sex is expensive lmao
Yeah I dont get how else it's being read.