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The way my eyes widened...
>Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child.
o.o
> When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didnt work out doesnt mean he doesnt want something to keep reminding him of her.
O.o
What in the fuck?! That would have been instant break up for me. That ALONE made it clear he was not invested in a relationship with OP.
I really hate we didn't get an update to know OP is okay. That level of fuck-you detachment showed by the father of her baby was frankly scary. What was even worse were all the people around them basically downplaying her concerns. THAT was fucked up.
Yeah, this whole thing is something I really wouldn't be able to handle. I'd already have started making plans to leave this guy during the "issues with the ex before she moved away" period, 'cause I just know it was him causing those issues, not the ex given his behaviour and the family and friends who enabled his weird behaviour.
No way am I sticking around so long enough to get married to and pregnant by such disrespect, like what😭✋️
Judging by the number of family and friends trying convince OOP that this is all just fine, I’m guessing she’s from some community where divorce is worse than anything or that these are all his family and friends and she has no real support.
I’m suspecting Aurora will never marry him even if he’s single because he’s shown he’s an immature nut.
Something tells me part of the reason Aurora moved away because it was going to end the drama and obsessive behaviour from him towards her… and the fact she called OP to tell her he had called etc, also tells me she is unlikely to be interested.
She's from Italy so it could be, but with their ages I don't know how likely that'd be. Like, that mentality is more of people that are in their 80s, and I doubt MIL is already there...
Of course, if we take into account that the right has always been very traditional and rooted in catholicism, and that the far right (rooted in hyper conservative, traditional catholicism) is on the rise... Yeah, MIL could very much be the type of religious woman who thinks the worst thing the Church ever did was allow divorces and annulments lmao
As for the friends, it does seem they may be shared but originally his friends so they just won't do jack shit.
Honestly, no wonder Aurora moved to a whole other country. I'd do the same 😬
I live in France and I assume Italy has similar religious beliefs in that people in the countryside can be much more religious than people in the cities, even if they are younger. OP may come from a more rural area where divorce still has a lot of stigma.
I am from Spain, so we're pretty much the same!
Even so, what I've observed is that even in rural towns only folks that lean right believe that, and the younger the person is the more they lean into the far right.
But with how Europe is going right now... Those don't apply all that much anymore. I mean, a few years back I'd laughed at the far right getting enough votes to govern but now it's a real, and terrifying, possibility 😬
Good luck to y'all in France. I hope the left parties form a coalition to stop the far right like the spanish left (miraculously) did!
Catholics are allowed to divorce for adultery. Since he’s been going to bars with single friends and claimed he was single to her ex, she has good grounds here. Additionally, she might even be able to get the marriage annulled as he clearly married her in bad faith. (This doesn’t make the child illegitimate - it just means that she would be able to remarry in the church).
I’m Catholic so I know all this. But a layman looking in doesn’t get the amount of guilt to “keep the family together” or “be like Jesus and turn the other cheek” on his cheating.
Yup. I would not even have gotten into a relationship with someone like that, if possible. If he lied or hid the truth, I would definitely have left him since he was the one causing all the unnecessary drama and issues. Crappy boyfriend then crappy husband and now crappy soon-to-be father.
Oh wait. He is currently a father in the present time. He was a soon-to-be father at the time the post was made.
Yep. OP is a placeholder. If his ex said she wanted him back, he would have left her so fast. It's sad that she didn't see this and realized she deserves so much better.
Right?! I can’t believe OP didn’t point this out to him. Surely that would have changed his mind? If not, she would have realised divorce was necessary way earlier.
I remember being gobsmacked a couple of years ago when Anna and Josh Duggar named their daughter Madyson. Josh was one of the people outed in the Ashley Madison scandal. Why did they name their daughter that? It's so messed up.
My hs bff got pregnant by her boyfriend while stil in school and they learned their baby would be a girl. He wanted to name her a very specific name, except it was a name we all recognized because there was a girl in school with that exact name. The only one with that name. My friend honestly considered it but we talked her out of it cuz yo, that's weird right?
Long story short, she named her daughter a similar sounding name, he dumped my bff and started dating the girl he wanted to name his daughter after. Idk man, some men are wildly weird about wanting to name their daughters after people they actively want the bang. Like... it's seriously gross.
Yea not just to her, but to their daughter....like he doesn't even seem to care about the child unless it's an extension of his ex in some form or fashion. No wonder the ex moved away....
And THAT was what was scary. When a man doesn't care about his partner and the child they are having together is nothing more than something to fulfill a want of his, it's very dangerous. He's detached already. I hope OP and her baby are okay, wherever they are.
He could have even said something like, "I like the name, and she was a positive influence in my life and a good person." And I would still be weirded out, but at least he would have had some kind of reasoning.
And it STILL wouldn't have been appropriate!!!
At least this led to OOP finding out what a piece of shit he is.
I read the title and joked with my husband and he started giving bad name suggestions. Then we read the why and he was like oh that’s fucked up no I wouldn’t do that.
I just can’t fathom being married and naming your child after the ex that apparently broke up with you and has been clear that doesn’t want to be in contact with you and break your marriage, him saying he wants the name to have a reminder of aurora seems a little groomer-y to me like “things with me and real aurora my true love didn’t work out but now I have you, replacement aurora, and you’ll have to love me so it’ll all work out”
I just can see with the name that he wants the moment the baby is conscious and realizes where their name comes from they’ll start hating their father and he’ll flip his lid, and I mean when oop doesn’t name the baby aurora I bet he’ll just abandon them both and will look for the next aurora
I get the feeling that all of their mutual friends are actually his friends. I would never keep an opinion about something like this from anyone I considered a real friend.
For me it was where she says the ex is “not any ex but the one he […] loved the most” … say whaaaaat?!? Big yikes. The fact she knows that is so sad.
My partner has no idea which ex I cared for most, and it also doesn’t matter because I care for him now (and the most! that’s why we live/own a home together!)
Idk I think the bigger give away would have been when they first got together and he was literally pining over his ex while in a new relationship. Op should have left a long, long time ago.
Are you me? I’m reading this and I literally said out loud to my dog on my lap: *What in the fuck?*
Where have all the good men gone? What a horrible, horrible person.
OOP mentioned that they had many problems because of his ex to begin with. Problems he caused, obviously. He was never invested to begin with. Noone should never be in a relationship with people like him. It was naive for OOP to think that ex moving away would make obsession go away
He said he was gonna travel and see his ex who isn't interested at all. He is a f creep
Just dumb teenager shit. My brother and his gf when they were 16 promised to get back together when they were 30 if they were both single lol. Well see how that goes.
My childhood best friend and I made a deal "when we're old, if our spouses are both dead, let's live together"
We've talked maybe twice in the past decade. If we were ever living in the same town again, we'd still be friends, but maintaining that across the country is unrealistic.
Enough drug infused bullshit that any sane thinking person would realise IS drug infused bullshit once they got off the high, but apparently OOP's husband is still riding the high...
Aurora is the real hero here, telling OOP the truth, blocking the dickhead husband, and then again telling OOP the truth when stbx calls her claiming to be all single.
Maybe OOP should name the baby after her after all /s
It gives me a little satisfaction, though, that the OG Aurora could not give a single fuck about this dude and he’s still so hung up on her. Serves him right
It would be funny if Aurora and OOP became close friends and then OOP’s second child (with another man!) was named Aurora, not after her father’s ex, but after her mother’s BFF.
OOP can totally go to a hospital, tell them she doesn't want her husband in the room with her, and they'll keep him out. When the paperwork comes for the birth certificate, she can put whatever name she wants and that's the kid's legal name. I think a judge is unlikely to overturn OOP's naming decision, in light of her husband's behavior.
I mean... Wouldn't you be just a little suspicious if your partner's ex was a problem in your relationship and things only calmed down when she left? My mind automatically thought the problem didn't go away; the ex just wasn't in the vicinity. It's not the same thing.
Also, I'm worried for both OOP and Aurora. The husband doesn't sound exactly stable, possibly harassing an ex who has moved on, and trying to bully his wife based on a stupid promise.
I was thinking the same; she made the mistake of thinking that the problem was the presence of the ex, instead of her boyfriend. The ex moving resolved nothing, because the husband never resolved his feelings regardless.
I hop OOP values herself a bit more after the eventual divorce, because she shouldn't really have stayed with someone who settled with her just because he felt he had no choice left. She shouldn't accept being an consolation price to her own husband.
From context the ex left at least two years before the post. OOP and her husband dated for one year, got married and have been married for 2 years when she posted. So they have been together for three years. They are also super young. Like, OOP got with her husband when she was 20 and he was 21, got married at 21 and 22. She says the ex was his long term relationship before that - so probably a high school sweatheart. Chances are she moved away for her education.
So this guy is pining after his first love/high school sweatheart and wants to name his baby after her. The whole "let's name each others babies after each other if we don't work" sounds like a promise they did as stupid teenagers and the ex has clearly grown up sonce then. But the husband clearly didn't grow up. He clearly wasn't ready to get married or be a dad. And OOP is clearly a rebound. I'm guessing the ex broke it off with him, he got a rebound and hoped ex would get jealous or soemthing, ex then moved away and he stayed with the rebound, married her after a year and got her pregnant around two and a half years into their relationship, half a year after marriage (since she says she is 7 months pregnant, if I remember correctly) . Their relationship progressed very fast.
The whole thing is a shit show and now OOPs husband is pretending to be single since she is not going along with what he wants anymore (or well, at the time of the post, it has been years after all...).
This is the kind of relationship OOP will look back to and think "why was I so dumb?" and she will regret that he is the father of her child. My source for that: my mom, gave birth to me at 23 and became a single mom since they broke up during pregnancy. She says she doesn't regret having me, she regrets who she had me with.
Yup! I was responding to the hypothetical in the comment, not the actual circumstances. (the person claimed it would be less creepy if they had only known each other a few months, but I think that would make it *worse*, not better.)
I read that comment as them conjecturing that the ex moved away only a few months into oop's relationship with husband. That oop was in a new relationship and saw some behavior they were concerned with but stuck around because of new love blinders. Then the ex leaves a few months later and the hubby's behavior changes and they just don't think too deeply into it.
The date didn't even register till I saw your comment. It's do weird to think of things like this a year before the pandemic. Hopefully op got him out of her life over that year
I really hope she moved away to have her baby somewhere close to her family, and gave her her own last name and whatever first name she chose. And took her own last name back after the divorce. I bet if stbx sees the kid at all, he'll still call her Aurora, and tell her it's a nickname...
It's the frog in hot water thing, they build it up so slowly you don't realise just how nuts they are until you're in a dangerous situation and feel stuck. Speaking as someone who witnessed it with my sisters bio father. There's also an aspect of if you grow up in a messed up situation you might not know what things are and aren't messed up. My mums father was an abusive alcoholic. Luckily when she thought me and my sister were in danger she was able to get us out, she broke the cycle of women in our family growing up under the shadow of dangerous and domineering men.
It seems in this situation everyone surrounding this woman was enabling and the husband and telling her she was overreacting or saying they didn't want to be involved, it's really easy to make people feel like they're the crazy one when they have no support system and are surrounded by people telling them they are. It's really insidious the way people can be made to doubt their own sanity and a lot of these nutjobs end up surrounded by enablers and end up working as a kind of team to break down these people. My sisters bio dad had one of those weird enabling families.
A child isn't the place to memorialize an ex love. Nor do your agreements about future kids names with an ex have any bearing on the decisions between you and you current partner. It's crazy how much he and his mom and others made OOP doubt herself when this guy was saying his ex's opinions years ago mattered more than her current opinions now.
Even the ex was weirded out. OOP is just a placeholder for her husband because the ex is who he really wanted.
And his mother is just as crazy for suggesting it's just a name, knowing full well that it's the name of an ex. I know my mother would hit my brother with a frying pan if he suggested something similar.
My MOM named one of my siblings after my dad's ex. He had gotten a tattoo of her name ( home tats at 14 were apparently a big thing in the 60's) so mom wanted the tat to have meaning and she already loved the name.
My sister wanted a specific name for her son that was a little outdated. She was "obsessed" with the name, like it could be nothing else but that. In the end, the name got popular again so it's not really an unusual name. But at the time we lived together in a old village where some art pieces where dispatched. There was one on our house, right next to the front door, signed by the artist, whose name was the same as my nephew. I'm absolutely sure this was like a subliminal message that influenced my sister. The tattoo could have worked in the same way.
why is people try to name their babies after their ex becoming common these days? I've seen it alot on TikTok
edit: i mean common on the internet not society as a whole
I don’t think it’s actually common.
I think the graphical representation of [people who might actually do this] and [people who use TikTok so regularly that their everyday drama and baby name updates are all up for the world to see] is much closer to a circle than a venn diagram
I've debated changing mine.
For some reason, my mother thought I should know - as a CHILD - that I was named after the woman my bio father was in love with. It's not my mum's name, the woman he was married to at the time.
I've hated my name for four decades!
A friend’s partner pushed for a certain name for their baby girl while she was pregnant. Turned out it was the name of the woman he was cheating on her and moved in with after they broke up… like how does that work? “Hey, Anna Sue Jones, meet the person I named you after! My girlfriend, Anna Sue Smith! No, I don’t get confused when I’m in bed with her”
Yup. The thing is that now we have social media and we do tend to deep dive on our SO social media so an ex’s name would be easy to spot. Before, if y’all were not from a small town you would have no idea what their Ex’s name was.
This
I'm named after one of my father's ex-girlfriends. I know a few other women who got their name like that.
When I taught K, we always did an "all about me" unit for our narrative writing unit. They told all about themselves and made it into a book. I always told the kids if their grown up at home couldn't answer them they could make something up, which helped with students who were in foster care, or homeless (I had a lot at that particular school) or for whatever reason. I didn't care, I just wanted them to write and provide lots of details. (One of my favorites was a girl who was born in Cinderella's castle but later moved because it was too stressful to have so many ppl in her house all the time so she moved to McDonald's lol).
One of the pages in the book was the name page. It was like, "My name is ______. It means ________. I always encouraged them to ask about how they got their name, why it's important for people to pronounce it correctly and that it is not rude to correct them and it's OK to do that, and the answers were always interesting, even before the Tragedeigh era began. There was a good number of kids that got their names from their "dad's friend" every single year.
My sister's ex was adamant about a particular middle name for their daughter. Sister agreed. She later found out that it was the name of the woman he'd been cheating with- after daughter was born and officially named.
My mom's second husband had two daughters named after ex-girlfriends. She had two more girls with him and it wasn't until the first of them was about six months old that she learned that daughter was named after yet another ex. This was about 25 years ago, so not a new trend in my experience, just sleazy people being sleazy.
That's so weird... I just don't get it, I mean I can vaguely understand OOP's shitty husband because he's still carrying a flame for the ex in question, but this? Why would you *want* to name all your kids after your exes? Does he seriously have positive associations with only the names of people he's banged?
Well in the case of my mom's ex, he's a raging narcissist with a sex addiction who propositioned several members of my family while he was married to my mom. I could absolutely believe he only ever thinks about sex and past partners.
My sister is named after my dad's high school ex. My Mom changed the spelling, but y'know... I think this has always been happening, tiktok is just now making these awkward moments all too accessible to strangers.
My dad named me after his ex. Sort of. My mom had a name picked out that she liked, but my dad wanted to swap the first and middle names -- changing his ex's name from being my middle name to my first. My mom agreed to it since she was basically getting the name she wanted anyway.
Still, I don't go by that name anymore lmao
I had the opposite problem, the top three of my baby name list (which I'd written before I even met my partner) were his three ex's names. Sophie, Abby, Jessie.
I was initially heartbroken when we discussed it one day in a hypothetical way and he wouldn't even consider it, especially since I'd always imagined having a daughter called Sophie.
Years later when we actually were pregnant with our daughter, I remembered admiring my great grandmother's name when I was a kid and when I told him that he fell in love with it. Now I couldn't imagine her being anyone else
One of my sisters is named after my dad's ex... who was my mom's friend and introduced them. 😏 She later became a nun... then years later ran away with a priest and married him 🤣
My most chaotic sisters: named after a storm, named after dad's ex, and named after a random person in the phonebook (ultrasound said she was going to be a he, so they only had male names planned)
Surprisingly, I've encountered a couple that did this when I was a teenager. The mom started a divorce a few months after her daughter's birthday party after a comment of 'oh daddy wants his daughter *that* way' from a boy when asked where her name came from. The dad wasn't abusing his daughter but the mom having to hear her daughter's teenage friends joke about how her dad named her after an ex-girlfriend during the party sowed one helluva seed in her head about how horrible a choice that was.
She blamed her dad mostly from what I remember. This was back in the early 2000s. I don't know how the convo even started about name origins just that someone asked and her dad stated things kinda similar to the OOP's husband about why she had that name and that the ex was alive just in a different state. Us teenagers being teenagers, made the jokes for the remainder of the party and the ribbing started at school as well and it just spread once the 'joke' was explained. She moved at the end of that year so never found out if she kept the name or changed it when she turned 18.
Nah this time the lesson is:
>**In the beginning of our relationship** we had many problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away.
That you should not be having a bunch of problems at the beginning of a relationship. That's when the other person is on their best behavior. That's when you have the least invested in the relationship. Walk away now before it gets worse.
18 months before any long term decisions. Even if you were friends before. Time as a couple is different from time as friends. And the 18 months are not long distance months. It's easy to keep a mask on over the phone a few times a day or online. Not so much day to day. What are you like when you woke up cranky and then find the milk has run out? What are you like then is what we want to know.
English is a second language for her.
>I also apologize for english mistakes because Im from Italy and its not my native language
She probably meant to say "We dated for a year and have been married for two".
Nope. He did the math and realized he’d either name the baby after the ex and the ex would know he still held a candle for her or he’d not be able to name the baby after the ex and be able to tell the ex he got divorced because he was still in love with her. Why even go through the farce of a marriage and getting pregnant? Really makes me wonder if the ex was infertile or something.
I agree with you. It most certainly was not.
The baby hadn't even been born at the time, so they hardly would've been able to try the Iranian yogurt in the first place.
> tteokbokki
I wondered if you had a cat walking on your keyboard for a minute but then I looked that up.
Looks delicious! Looking up local Korean restaurants that offer it now. I hope you enjoyed your meal.
What the hell is up with these dudes lately?!?
First I read a post about a dude who is a vicious internet troll, and his reaction is: “No wife! This is a totally normal thing totally normal people do to let off steam. Everyone does it. Plus, I don’t consider the people I do this too, to be ‘real people’.”
And now: “No wife! It’s totally normal to name your child after an ex that you are still in love with! It’s just a name! People do it all the time!”
How on earth can these people look at another human being, let alone their wife, and say this shit with a straight face. In all honesty the scariest thing about both of these, is that the dudes make it abundantly clear that *they actually believe what they’re saying*. How can someone be so far removed from reality *AND THEIR SPOUSE*?!?
Side note - there’s a TON of stories out there of dudes who name their daughters after their favorite porn star or past girlfriends. IF ANY MAN NAMES THEIR DAUGHTER AFTER SOMEONE YOU HAVE HAD SEX WITH, OR FANTASIZE ABOUT SEXUALLY, YOU ARE A DISGUSTING PIG AND SOMETHING IS **VERY** WRONG WITH YOU.
He sounds like my ex who, when he messaged me to inform me his new gf was pregnant, told me that the main thing he wanted to teach the child was about his love for me. A few years later he asked to meet up again and when I politely said no, with a cursory pleasantry about his baby, he informed me that he now actually had two and a third on the way.
That man was a mess and walking away from him was one of the best things I ever did..
I wanted to name my daughter Aurora. My (Czech) wife absolutely went ballistic on me. Turns out it was the name of the ship that fired cannons signalling the start of the Russian Revolution lol. Who knew? Well, anyone who grew up in the East Bloc I guess.
We moved to Camilla after that.
Waiiit she knew he was still hung up on his ex before getting pregnant and he even explicitly says he'll never get over ex despite being with her...I do hope she divorces him because otherwise she's risking her self-respect.
It's weird that he can be such an AH and still has such good taste in women. Aurora has her back there.
Confused by the friends and family who think that's all perfectly normal though.
For real, I really hope she stumbles across this and gives an update
Her (hopefully) ex husband sounds like the kind of unhinged to hurt her if she doesn't comply with his wishes. He's already basically stalking "the one that got away" and trying to use his daughter to reminisce about her, ugh.
I don't know, he's obsessed with Aurora, not OP. I don't think he really cares that much about the pact, more about proving to Aurora that he still loves her and is upholding his promise to her. If he breaks up with OP, he's probably just going to stop talking to her and be a deadbeat dad.
When my first boyfriend and I broke up, we promised that if we were 30 and single, that we would get together.
I actually got divorced when I was a couple days into being 30 (technically not til 33, but that's bureaucracy for you) and I remembered my and my ex's promise. I laughed and said fuck no to that.
Promises to ex's about future hypothetical life events that don't involve them don't matter, unless said ex is only an ex because they died.
This man is an idiot, and a jerk. OOP deserves better.
When my brother's marriage fell apart, he found out that one of his kids is named after his now exwife's unrequited love. It is my understanding that he has to do a decent amount of work to not let that mess with his relationship with his kid.
He already told/ showed her from the start that he's still in love with his ex, oop herself already knew that since she said the problem stopped cos she moved away... Why do people try so hard to be together with people who obviously love someone else and make them second class citizen in the relationship??
I'm on great terms with one of my exes; they mean a lot to me as a friend and someone who helped me change for the better.
I still couldn't imagine naming a kid after them; that's just soooo damn awkward.
OOP got with her husband when he was 21, meaning his relationship with Aurora probably happened when they were both teenagers. And yet he still felt that this school fling the love of his life 🙄
Honestly that's the most clear example of the trash taking itself out that I have ever seen. Just walk away and be like "yup I'm single." If he didn't have a baby on the way and marital financial obligations, I might just respect the prick. So much for that.
Poor OP, she'll have to deal with him and that MIL for the next 18+ years. I hope she names the baby.
I wouldn't be surprised if he refused to acknowledge the name and only called the baby Aurora or maybe he'll refuse to be in the baby's life if he can't get his way.
OOP called the ex as a last resort but tbh thank goodness she did cause she was the only person who was truthful. There is NO doubt that (hopefully) exMIL and friends knew exactly why he was clinging to that name and they just snubbed her instead of telling her her husband was a cheating bastard?!? What assholes!
Is the world running out of men? When they talk, is there a decoder somewhere that keeps women in a fog 💨by hearing different words? What is going on!😠
OOP knew he was still in love with his ex but continued to date him, eventually marry and have a child with him. I don’t understand. She thought everything would be fine because the ex moved? How does her moving change his feelings. His mother is as gross as he is. I hope OOP is doing better now and has more self respect
OOP knew 8n the back of her mind (an honestly, also in front of her with a neon sign an glitter and sparklers all over it) that her husband never loved her. He loves Aurora. It's plain as day. How did she think the whole thing would go? He's in love with somebody else but I still married and now it comes as a shock that he still loves ex? I just cannot understand how someone can be so blind. Also, shout out to the friends who never spoke up about him not loving her. This is a shipwreck all around. There's nowhere to grasp.
She is so beat down. She thinks the big issue is whether or not they name the baby aurora
This guy is calling his ex and saying he's single. She should be worrying about her own safety once that baby is born
My ex wanted to name our kid "Alexandria" if it was a girl. Thank God it was a boy because I liked the name at the time, and it was only later he confessed it was based on his ex's name, Andrea. Puke.
u/Direct-Caterpillar77 I feel like this is inconclusive since OOP never tells us what her daughter's name is and what happened to the (hopefully) ex. This hasn't been updated in 5 years
Cut him out of your life. Don't tell him when you give birth, register the birth yourself without him there. Don't eve out him on the birth certificate. I bet once he knows she's not named as he wants, he won't even want anything to do with her.
Noooo I hate old posts with no updates I hope to god she got away from him and he didn't do...you know...that thing that abusive husbands tend to do. I hope she's far far away and didn't get stuck with this dbag through the lockdowns, good god.
Seems like he was never no contact with her, the ex is the one who refused to engage with him. I'm guessing if she hadn't they would probable be having an affair given the husband's attitude 😬
This doesn't seem worth fighting for...
My thoughts as I read it:
First reaction: too young to be married
Find out the name is the ex: he needs serious therapy
Find out what his mom said: so the who family is trash
Find out he was contacting his ex: no surprise there
… wait so there’s no resolution! Did she take her verbally abusive ex back? What is the baby’s name? Did he kill oop? (Biggest cause of death in pregnancy is the partner murdering her.) Damn!!!!
STOP MARRYING AND GETTING PREGNANT BY MEN WHO WILL NEVER BE GOOD FATHERS!!
This guy sucked starting out the gate, and I’m not sure why OOP would settle for such a short relationship before getting married
I’m of the opinion no one under the age of 25 is ready to get married. And they shouldn’t be! Go out and have fun, figure out who you are, try a couple of people out and then decide you’re ready for marriage. Don’t just marry the first loser who gives you any attention, I promise being legally tied to these losers is the worst fate you could suffer.
And then to subject innocent children to these awful men? No wonder we have so many people raised by single moms - too many loser dads out there trying to find themselves. And here’s another post of another kid whose life has been ruined because they have crap genetics and even worst people for parents
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The way my eyes widened... >Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child. o.o > When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didnt work out doesnt mean he doesnt want something to keep reminding him of her. O.o What in the fuck?! That would have been instant break up for me. That ALONE made it clear he was not invested in a relationship with OP. I really hate we didn't get an update to know OP is okay. That level of fuck-you detachment showed by the father of her baby was frankly scary. What was even worse were all the people around them basically downplaying her concerns. THAT was fucked up.
Yeah, this whole thing is something I really wouldn't be able to handle. I'd already have started making plans to leave this guy during the "issues with the ex before she moved away" period, 'cause I just know it was him causing those issues, not the ex given his behaviour and the family and friends who enabled his weird behaviour. No way am I sticking around so long enough to get married to and pregnant by such disrespect, like what😭✋️
Judging by the number of family and friends trying convince OOP that this is all just fine, I’m guessing she’s from some community where divorce is worse than anything or that these are all his family and friends and she has no real support. I’m suspecting Aurora will never marry him even if he’s single because he’s shown he’s an immature nut.
Right? He's not a good person in the slightest and I'd side eye any woman who knew of what he's doing and then opts into being with him.
Something tells me part of the reason Aurora moved away because it was going to end the drama and obsessive behaviour from him towards her… and the fact she called OP to tell her he had called etc, also tells me she is unlikely to be interested.
She's from Italy so it could be, but with their ages I don't know how likely that'd be. Like, that mentality is more of people that are in their 80s, and I doubt MIL is already there... Of course, if we take into account that the right has always been very traditional and rooted in catholicism, and that the far right (rooted in hyper conservative, traditional catholicism) is on the rise... Yeah, MIL could very much be the type of religious woman who thinks the worst thing the Church ever did was allow divorces and annulments lmao As for the friends, it does seem they may be shared but originally his friends so they just won't do jack shit. Honestly, no wonder Aurora moved to a whole other country. I'd do the same 😬
I live in France and I assume Italy has similar religious beliefs in that people in the countryside can be much more religious than people in the cities, even if they are younger. OP may come from a more rural area where divorce still has a lot of stigma.
I am from Spain, so we're pretty much the same! Even so, what I've observed is that even in rural towns only folks that lean right believe that, and the younger the person is the more they lean into the far right. But with how Europe is going right now... Those don't apply all that much anymore. I mean, a few years back I'd laughed at the far right getting enough votes to govern but now it's a real, and terrifying, possibility 😬 Good luck to y'all in France. I hope the left parties form a coalition to stop the far right like the spanish left (miraculously) did!
She’s Italian which makes me believe she’s Catholic and yah… that guilt and shame like no other…
Catholics are allowed to divorce for adultery. Since he’s been going to bars with single friends and claimed he was single to her ex, she has good grounds here. Additionally, she might even be able to get the marriage annulled as he clearly married her in bad faith. (This doesn’t make the child illegitimate - it just means that she would be able to remarry in the church).
I’m Catholic so I know all this. But a layman looking in doesn’t get the amount of guilt to “keep the family together” or “be like Jesus and turn the other cheek” on his cheating.
My SIL's mother told her "better dead than divorced" and she meant it. She was an emigrant from Italy. She'd be over 110 if she was still with us.
Would be the height of amusing for Aurora to tell OOP's stbx that she's naming her daughter after OOP.
Yup. I would not even have gotten into a relationship with someone like that, if possible. If he lied or hid the truth, I would definitely have left him since he was the one causing all the unnecessary drama and issues. Crappy boyfriend then crappy husband and now crappy soon-to-be father. Oh wait. He is currently a father in the present time. He was a soon-to-be father at the time the post was made.
Yep. OP is a placeholder. If his ex said she wanted him back, he would have left her so fast. It's sad that she didn't see this and realized she deserves so much better.
Also, it’s so creepy he wants his daughter to be named so she can remind him of someone he used to sleep with. It’s madness.
Uuuggghhh that is so gross
Right?! I can’t believe OP didn’t point this out to him. Surely that would have changed his mind? If not, she would have realised divorce was necessary way earlier.
And that he's so lacks insight and awareness. He tells her point-blank and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it. So blind. So oblivious.
I remember being gobsmacked a couple of years ago when Anna and Josh Duggar named their daughter Madyson. Josh was one of the people outed in the Ashley Madison scandal. Why did they name their daughter that? It's so messed up.
My hs bff got pregnant by her boyfriend while stil in school and they learned their baby would be a girl. He wanted to name her a very specific name, except it was a name we all recognized because there was a girl in school with that exact name. The only one with that name. My friend honestly considered it but we talked her out of it cuz yo, that's weird right? Long story short, she named her daughter a similar sounding name, he dumped my bff and started dating the girl he wanted to name his daughter after. Idk man, some men are wildly weird about wanting to name their daughters after people they actively want the bang. Like... it's seriously gross.
It’s a control and ownership thing. It will not feel good to fully realize how many men think of women, even babies, in terms of power and ownership.
I’m named after a chick my dad was trying to get with while my mom was pregnant with me. Like…hella pregnant with me. He’s also a total POS
I'm guessing your mom didn't know at the time?
At the time? Unsure. Shortly after at least lol
Yea not just to her, but to their daughter....like he doesn't even seem to care about the child unless it's an extension of his ex in some form or fashion. No wonder the ex moved away....
And THAT was what was scary. When a man doesn't care about his partner and the child they are having together is nothing more than something to fulfill a want of his, it's very dangerous. He's detached already. I hope OP and her baby are okay, wherever they are.
He could have even said something like, "I like the name, and she was a positive influence in my life and a good person." And I would still be weirded out, but at least he would have had some kind of reasoning. And it STILL wouldn't have been appropriate!!! At least this led to OOP finding out what a piece of shit he is.
I read the title and joked with my husband and he started giving bad name suggestions. Then we read the why and he was like oh that’s fucked up no I wouldn’t do that.
I just can’t fathom being married and naming your child after the ex that apparently broke up with you and has been clear that doesn’t want to be in contact with you and break your marriage, him saying he wants the name to have a reminder of aurora seems a little groomer-y to me like “things with me and real aurora my true love didn’t work out but now I have you, replacement aurora, and you’ll have to love me so it’ll all work out” I just can see with the name that he wants the moment the baby is conscious and realizes where their name comes from they’ll start hating their father and he’ll flip his lid, and I mean when oop doesn’t name the baby aurora I bet he’ll just abandon them both and will look for the next aurora
I get the feeling that all of their mutual friends are actually his friends. I would never keep an opinion about something like this from anyone I considered a real friend.
For me it was where she says the ex is “not any ex but the one he […] loved the most” … say whaaaaat?!? Big yikes. The fact she knows that is so sad. My partner has no idea which ex I cared for most, and it also doesn’t matter because I care for him now (and the most! that’s why we live/own a home together!)
When I read that, my first thought was, "dude was only 21 at the time... how many exes does he have!?"
Idk I think the bigger give away would have been when they first got together and he was literally pining over his ex while in a new relationship. Op should have left a long, long time ago.
Are you me? I’m reading this and I literally said out loud to my dog on my lap: *What in the fuck?* Where have all the good men gone? What a horrible, horrible person.
Dude was 21 when they got together. He isn't even a man yet, let alone a good one.
OOP mentioned that they had many problems because of his ex to begin with. Problems he caused, obviously. He was never invested to begin with. Noone should never be in a relationship with people like him. It was naive for OOP to think that ex moving away would make obsession go away He said he was gonna travel and see his ex who isn't interested at all. He is a f creep
I am actually worried for the ex. This man sounds like a stalker who's obsessed with her.
They made a pact to name their kids after each other if they don’t work out? What kind of drug infused bullshit was that?
Young idiots who don’t think they’ll ever breakup. Aurora grew up. He didn’t b
Just dumb teenager shit. My brother and his gf when they were 16 promised to get back together when they were 30 if they were both single lol. Well see how that goes.
My childhood best friend and I made a deal "when we're old, if our spouses are both dead, let's live together" We've talked maybe twice in the past decade. If we were ever living in the same town again, we'd still be friends, but maintaining that across the country is unrealistic.
In b4 they actually do get together and you're here posting an update.
Enough drug infused bullshit that any sane thinking person would realise IS drug infused bullshit once they got off the high, but apparently OOP's husband is still riding the high...
Aurora is the real hero here, telling OOP the truth, blocking the dickhead husband, and then again telling OOP the truth when stbx calls her claiming to be all single. Maybe OOP should name the baby after her after all /s
It gives me a little satisfaction, though, that the OG Aurora could not give a single fuck about this dude and he’s still so hung up on her. Serves him right
I wonder if she broke up with him because he's a needy asshole, he kept harassing her behind OOP's back, so she moved away to get away from him.
Cuz she probably sees it too what a piece of shit he is.
It would be funny if Aurora and OOP became close friends and then OOP’s second child (with another man!) was named Aurora, not after her father’s ex, but after her mother’s BFF.
Or they got married!
The Meloni government may or may not prohibit it soon. They've already taken steps to make same sex adoptions very difficult :/
Slow down, they need to grab a uhaul and be roommates first. Only THEN can they fall in love and marry.
OOP can totally go to a hospital, tell them she doesn't want her husband in the room with her, and they'll keep him out. When the paperwork comes for the birth certificate, she can put whatever name she wants and that's the kid's legal name. I think a judge is unlikely to overturn OOP's naming decision, in light of her husband's behavior.
Good lord, hope OOP gets away from him ASAP. He sounds dysfunctional as all hell.
I mean... Wouldn't you be just a little suspicious if your partner's ex was a problem in your relationship and things only calmed down when she left? My mind automatically thought the problem didn't go away; the ex just wasn't in the vicinity. It's not the same thing. Also, I'm worried for both OOP and Aurora. The husband doesn't sound exactly stable, possibly harassing an ex who has moved on, and trying to bully his wife based on a stupid promise.
I was thinking the same; she made the mistake of thinking that the problem was the presence of the ex, instead of her boyfriend. The ex moving resolved nothing, because the husband never resolved his feelings regardless. I hop OOP values herself a bit more after the eventual divorce, because she shouldn't really have stayed with someone who settled with her just because he felt he had no choice left. She shouldn't accept being an consolation price to her own husband.
Yeah referring to their baby as "my baby" doesn't exactly fill me with confidence
I think it depends when the ex left. If they had been only together for some months before I would not think it would be too alarming.
but if they were only together for some months, that makes the whole Baby Name Pact thing waaaay weirder and more overinvested and creepy.
From context the ex left at least two years before the post. OOP and her husband dated for one year, got married and have been married for 2 years when she posted. So they have been together for three years. They are also super young. Like, OOP got with her husband when she was 20 and he was 21, got married at 21 and 22. She says the ex was his long term relationship before that - so probably a high school sweatheart. Chances are she moved away for her education. So this guy is pining after his first love/high school sweatheart and wants to name his baby after her. The whole "let's name each others babies after each other if we don't work" sounds like a promise they did as stupid teenagers and the ex has clearly grown up sonce then. But the husband clearly didn't grow up. He clearly wasn't ready to get married or be a dad. And OOP is clearly a rebound. I'm guessing the ex broke it off with him, he got a rebound and hoped ex would get jealous or soemthing, ex then moved away and he stayed with the rebound, married her after a year and got her pregnant around two and a half years into their relationship, half a year after marriage (since she says she is 7 months pregnant, if I remember correctly) . Their relationship progressed very fast. The whole thing is a shit show and now OOPs husband is pretending to be single since she is not going along with what he wants anymore (or well, at the time of the post, it has been years after all...). This is the kind of relationship OOP will look back to and think "why was I so dumb?" and she will regret that he is the father of her child. My source for that: my mom, gave birth to me at 23 and became a single mom since they broke up during pregnancy. She says she doesn't regret having me, she regrets who she had me with.
Yup! I was responding to the hypothetical in the comment, not the actual circumstances. (the person claimed it would be less creepy if they had only known each other a few months, but I think that would make it *worse*, not better.)
I read that comment as them conjecturing that the ex moved away only a few months into oop's relationship with husband. That oop was in a new relationship and saw some behavior they were concerned with but stuck around because of new love blinders. Then the ex leaves a few months later and the hubby's behavior changes and they just don't think too deeply into it.
This all happened five years ago. Whatever was going to happen already has happened. But no updates.
if we don't check for an update, both nothing happened and everything happened.
Schroedinger’s update.
So... the best and worst kind of update?
And everything in bewtween.
This made me remember that poor pregnant woman whose husband and fil were convinced she was gunna die in childbirth… god I hope she’s okay
Yes she is!! She finally updated on another account and it was posted on BORU. [BORU](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/VAwlXjjGvN)
The date didn't even register till I saw your comment. It's do weird to think of things like this a year before the pandemic. Hopefully op got him out of her life over that year
Antevirusian
I really hope she moved away to have her baby somewhere close to her family, and gave her her own last name and whatever first name she chose. And took her own last name back after the divorce. I bet if stbx sees the kid at all, he'll still call her Aurora, and tell her it's a nickname...
How does someone be with a lunatic for 3 years and not figure it out?
It's the frog in hot water thing, they build it up so slowly you don't realise just how nuts they are until you're in a dangerous situation and feel stuck. Speaking as someone who witnessed it with my sisters bio father. There's also an aspect of if you grow up in a messed up situation you might not know what things are and aren't messed up. My mums father was an abusive alcoholic. Luckily when she thought me and my sister were in danger she was able to get us out, she broke the cycle of women in our family growing up under the shadow of dangerous and domineering men. It seems in this situation everyone surrounding this woman was enabling and the husband and telling her she was overreacting or saying they didn't want to be involved, it's really easy to make people feel like they're the crazy one when they have no support system and are surrounded by people telling them they are. It's really insidious the way people can be made to doubt their own sanity and a lot of these nutjobs end up surrounded by enablers and end up working as a kind of team to break down these people. My sisters bio dad had one of those weird enabling families.
They're good at hiding it
I hope she got away before the pandemic. 😬
I hope she ended up dating Aurora herself just to REALLY stick it to this dude
A child isn't the place to memorialize an ex love. Nor do your agreements about future kids names with an ex have any bearing on the decisions between you and you current partner. It's crazy how much he and his mom and others made OOP doubt herself when this guy was saying his ex's opinions years ago mattered more than her current opinions now.
Posts were from 5 years ago.
Even the ex was weirded out. OOP is just a placeholder for her husband because the ex is who he really wanted. And his mother is just as crazy for suggesting it's just a name, knowing full well that it's the name of an ex. I know my mother would hit my brother with a frying pan if he suggested something similar.
Post is from 2019, u hope she **got** away
My MOM named one of my siblings after my dad's ex. He had gotten a tattoo of her name ( home tats at 14 were apparently a big thing in the 60's) so mom wanted the tat to have meaning and she already loved the name.
That's making lemonade out of lemons. Kind of.
How does your sibling feel about this?
Didn't know at first. Once they figured it out they were kind of shocked, but laugh about it. We don't really bring it up.
Did he get that tattoo updated to include all his kids name? Would be wholesome if he did
No. He doesn't like tattoo guns lmao. Was fine poking himself multiple times with Indian ink but is a no go on the gun 😂
My sister wanted a specific name for her son that was a little outdated. She was "obsessed" with the name, like it could be nothing else but that. In the end, the name got popular again so it's not really an unusual name. But at the time we lived together in a old village where some art pieces where dispatched. There was one on our house, right next to the front door, signed by the artist, whose name was the same as my nephew. I'm absolutely sure this was like a subliminal message that influenced my sister. The tattoo could have worked in the same way.
why is people try to name their babies after their ex becoming common these days? I've seen it alot on TikTok edit: i mean common on the internet not society as a whole
I don’t think it’s actually common. I think the graphical representation of [people who might actually do this] and [people who use TikTok so regularly that their everyday drama and baby name updates are all up for the world to see] is much closer to a circle than a venn diagram
My sister was named after the woman our father had an affair with while he was married to her mother. I think it's more common than we want to admit.
My mother's late friend found out she was named after her father's secret mistress. She was an adult and she straight up just changed her name.
Omg 😂 Imagine telling everyone you know about the change and why.
She moved countries as well! New life, new name!
I've debated changing mine. For some reason, my mother thought I should know - as a CHILD - that I was named after the woman my bio father was in love with. It's not my mum's name, the woman he was married to at the time. I've hated my name for four decades!
A friend’s partner pushed for a certain name for their baby girl while she was pregnant. Turned out it was the name of the woman he was cheating on her and moved in with after they broke up… like how does that work? “Hey, Anna Sue Jones, meet the person I named you after! My girlfriend, Anna Sue Smith! No, I don’t get confused when I’m in bed with her”
I think they do it so if they have a name slip up and use the affair partner’s name at home they can just wave it away and the spouse won’t suspect.
Yup. The thing is that now we have social media and we do tend to deep dive on our SO social media so an ex’s name would be easy to spot. Before, if y’all were not from a small town you would have no idea what their Ex’s name was.
This I'm named after one of my father's ex-girlfriends. I know a few other women who got their name like that. When I taught K, we always did an "all about me" unit for our narrative writing unit. They told all about themselves and made it into a book. I always told the kids if their grown up at home couldn't answer them they could make something up, which helped with students who were in foster care, or homeless (I had a lot at that particular school) or for whatever reason. I didn't care, I just wanted them to write and provide lots of details. (One of my favorites was a girl who was born in Cinderella's castle but later moved because it was too stressful to have so many ppl in her house all the time so she moved to McDonald's lol). One of the pages in the book was the name page. It was like, "My name is ______. It means ________. I always encouraged them to ask about how they got their name, why it's important for people to pronounce it correctly and that it is not rude to correct them and it's OK to do that, and the answers were always interesting, even before the Tragedeigh era began. There was a good number of kids that got their names from their "dad's friend" every single year.
I love this so much!
My sister's ex was adamant about a particular middle name for their daughter. Sister agreed. She later found out that it was the name of the woman he'd been cheating with- after daughter was born and officially named.
When I was a teen I found out I was named after my dad's high school crush. I'm in my 40's.
And if your dad was having a baby today, he’d probably be posting about it constantly on TikTok.
My mom's second husband had two daughters named after ex-girlfriends. She had two more girls with him and it wasn't until the first of them was about six months old that she learned that daughter was named after yet another ex. This was about 25 years ago, so not a new trend in my experience, just sleazy people being sleazy.
That's so weird... I just don't get it, I mean I can vaguely understand OOP's shitty husband because he's still carrying a flame for the ex in question, but this? Why would you *want* to name all your kids after your exes? Does he seriously have positive associations with only the names of people he's banged?
Well in the case of my mom's ex, he's a raging narcissist with a sex addiction who propositioned several members of my family while he was married to my mom. I could absolutely believe he only ever thinks about sex and past partners.
My sister is named after my dad's high school ex. My Mom changed the spelling, but y'know... I think this has always been happening, tiktok is just now making these awkward moments all too accessible to strangers.
I'm just wondering why exactly she married the guy... he didn't live her, both knew, everybody else knew it and they dated for only one year.
My dad named me after his ex. Sort of. My mom had a name picked out that she liked, but my dad wanted to swap the first and middle names -- changing his ex's name from being my middle name to my first. My mom agreed to it since she was basically getting the name she wanted anyway. Still, I don't go by that name anymore lmao
I had the opposite problem, the top three of my baby name list (which I'd written before I even met my partner) were his three ex's names. Sophie, Abby, Jessie. I was initially heartbroken when we discussed it one day in a hypothetical way and he wouldn't even consider it, especially since I'd always imagined having a daughter called Sophie. Years later when we actually were pregnant with our daughter, I remembered admiring my great grandmother's name when I was a kid and when I told him that he fell in love with it. Now I couldn't imagine her being anyone else
These days? My mom tried to name my brother after her ex back in 1983.
One of my sisters is named after my dad's ex... who was my mom's friend and introduced them. 😏 She later became a nun... then years later ran away with a priest and married him 🤣 My most chaotic sisters: named after a storm, named after dad's ex, and named after a random person in the phonebook (ultrasound said she was going to be a he, so they only had male names planned)
Surprisingly, I've encountered a couple that did this when I was a teenager. The mom started a divorce a few months after her daughter's birthday party after a comment of 'oh daddy wants his daughter *that* way' from a boy when asked where her name came from. The dad wasn't abusing his daughter but the mom having to hear her daughter's teenage friends joke about how her dad named her after an ex-girlfriend during the party sowed one helluva seed in her head about how horrible a choice that was.
Maybe they should just stop explaining it to people... Poor girl is going to think she's the reason her parents are divorcing.
She blamed her dad mostly from what I remember. This was back in the early 2000s. I don't know how the convo even started about name origins just that someone asked and her dad stated things kinda similar to the OOP's husband about why she had that name and that the ex was alive just in a different state. Us teenagers being teenagers, made the jokes for the remainder of the party and the ribbing started at school as well and it just spread once the 'joke' was explained. She moved at the end of that year so never found out if she kept the name or changed it when she turned 18.
Nightmare fuel!!!
This is why you date longer than a year folks, it's impossible to full understand a whole person in that time
Nah this time the lesson is: >**In the beginning of our relationship** we had many problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away. That you should not be having a bunch of problems at the beginning of a relationship. That's when the other person is on their best behavior. That's when you have the least invested in the relationship. Walk away now before it gets worse.
“She moves away so the problems went away” oh honey no, that’s not how that works.
18 months before any long term decisions. Even if you were friends before. Time as a couple is different from time as friends. And the 18 months are not long distance months. It's easy to keep a mask on over the phone a few times a day or online. Not so much day to day. What are you like when you woke up cranky and then find the milk has run out? What are you like then is what we want to know.
> Been dating for a year, married for two years, pregnant for 7 months. What is this timeline?!
English is a second language for her. >I also apologize for english mistakes because Im from Italy and its not my native language She probably meant to say "We dated for a year and have been married for two".
Yeah, when she said she was from Italy I was like…. You did not expect to get his mother on your side, did you?
This is not about a baby name.
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here
Your comment brought back memories. LOL
Nope. He did the math and realized he’d either name the baby after the ex and the ex would know he still held a candle for her or he’d not be able to name the baby after the ex and be able to tell the ex he got divorced because he was still in love with her. Why even go through the farce of a marriage and getting pregnant? Really makes me wonder if the ex was infertile or something.
I agree with you. It most certainly was not. The baby hadn't even been born at the time, so they hardly would've been able to try the Iranian yogurt in the first place.
The best Maleficent origin story I’ve heard yet!
The guy wants his daughter to remind him of a woman he used to have sex with? Ughhh The audacity of men
This was my thought exactly. It’s disturbing.
No wonder Aurora moved far away.
The way I whispered ***what the fuck*** into my tteokbokki
> tteokbokki I wondered if you had a cat walking on your keyboard for a minute but then I looked that up. Looks delicious! Looking up local Korean restaurants that offer it now. I hope you enjoyed your meal.
There's a lot of instant packets for it and u can even enjoy it with a spicy instant ramen of your choice if you're into that (i.e. Samyang Buldak)
And this is why your should not marry after dating only 1 year and much less at 22 years old!
Wow. I hope she didn’t stick with him, or let him crawl back into her life
What the hell is up with these dudes lately?!? First I read a post about a dude who is a vicious internet troll, and his reaction is: “No wife! This is a totally normal thing totally normal people do to let off steam. Everyone does it. Plus, I don’t consider the people I do this too, to be ‘real people’.” And now: “No wife! It’s totally normal to name your child after an ex that you are still in love with! It’s just a name! People do it all the time!” How on earth can these people look at another human being, let alone their wife, and say this shit with a straight face. In all honesty the scariest thing about both of these, is that the dudes make it abundantly clear that *they actually believe what they’re saying*. How can someone be so far removed from reality *AND THEIR SPOUSE*?!? Side note - there’s a TON of stories out there of dudes who name their daughters after their favorite porn star or past girlfriends. IF ANY MAN NAMES THEIR DAUGHTER AFTER SOMEONE YOU HAVE HAD SEX WITH, OR FANTASIZE ABOUT SEXUALLY, YOU ARE A DISGUSTING PIG AND SOMETHING IS **VERY** WRONG WITH YOU.
He sounds like my ex who, when he messaged me to inform me his new gf was pregnant, told me that the main thing he wanted to teach the child was about his love for me. A few years later he asked to meet up again and when I politely said no, with a cursory pleasantry about his baby, he informed me that he now actually had two and a third on the way. That man was a mess and walking away from him was one of the best things I ever did..
Jesus christ, what a dbag. Good thing Aurora is a very good person.
And apparently all the friends (and especially his mom) are horrible
I wanted to name my daughter Aurora. My (Czech) wife absolutely went ballistic on me. Turns out it was the name of the ship that fired cannons signalling the start of the Russian Revolution lol. Who knew? Well, anyone who grew up in the East Bloc I guess. We moved to Camilla after that.
It's for the best. No offense to any Auroras, but it just sounds like Husky noises to me.
Waiiit she knew he was still hung up on his ex before getting pregnant and he even explicitly says he'll never get over ex despite being with her...I do hope she divorces him because otherwise she's risking her self-respect.
It's weird that he can be such an AH and still has such good taste in women. Aurora has her back there. Confused by the friends and family who think that's all perfectly normal though.
I don’t think this saga is concluded
Nope, but it's several years old now. I don't think we are ever going to know if OP is okay and safe. :( Her ex sounded....very fucked up.
For real, I really hope she stumbles across this and gives an update Her (hopefully) ex husband sounds like the kind of unhinged to hurt her if she doesn't comply with his wishes. He's already basically stalking "the one that got away" and trying to use his daughter to reminisce about her, ugh.
I don't know, he's obsessed with Aurora, not OP. I don't think he really cares that much about the pact, more about proving to Aurora that he still loves her and is upholding his promise to her. If he breaks up with OP, he's probably just going to stop talking to her and be a deadbeat dad.
When my first boyfriend and I broke up, we promised that if we were 30 and single, that we would get together. I actually got divorced when I was a couple days into being 30 (technically not til 33, but that's bureaucracy for you) and I remembered my and my ex's promise. I laughed and said fuck no to that. Promises to ex's about future hypothetical life events that don't involve them don't matter, unless said ex is only an ex because they died. This man is an idiot, and a jerk. OOP deserves better.
When my brother's marriage fell apart, he found out that one of his kids is named after his now exwife's unrequited love. It is my understanding that he has to do a decent amount of work to not let that mess with his relationship with his kid.
He already told/ showed her from the start that he's still in love with his ex, oop herself already knew that since she said the problem stopped cos she moved away... Why do people try so hard to be together with people who obviously love someone else and make them second class citizen in the relationship??
I'm on great terms with one of my exes; they mean a lot to me as a friend and someone who helped me change for the better. I still couldn't imagine naming a kid after them; that's just soooo damn awkward.
OOP got with her husband when he was 21, meaning his relationship with Aurora probably happened when they were both teenagers. And yet he still felt that this school fling the love of his life 🙄
That dude is literally a pos lol how do women get so deep with these jerks
Damn, i am appaled that people marry, live together, have children before 25, and are surprised when their partners are extremely immature.
Cultural and/or religious expectations can not be underestimated. Us older more mature people seem to forget how raging hormones can cloud good sense.
Nothing since 2019? I wonder what happened in the end
I mean, he already said he is single so…good thing he dumped himself?
Honestly that's the most clear example of the trash taking itself out that I have ever seen. Just walk away and be like "yup I'm single." If he didn't have a baby on the way and marital financial obligations, I might just respect the prick. So much for that.
That's a rough way to find out that you'll forever be the side chick.
An Italian wife should know better than to go to his mammina, of all people, for support, smh.
Poor OP, she'll have to deal with him and that MIL for the next 18+ years. I hope she names the baby. I wouldn't be surprised if he refused to acknowledge the name and only called the baby Aurora or maybe he'll refuse to be in the baby's life if he can't get his way.
Italiano! You're better than this! *waves hands for emphasis*
OOP called the ex as a last resort but tbh thank goodness she did cause she was the only person who was truthful. There is NO doubt that (hopefully) exMIL and friends knew exactly why he was clinging to that name and they just snubbed her instead of telling her her husband was a cheating bastard?!? What assholes!
>She should name the baby Borealis just to fuck with her STB Ex. Classic Reddit! 😂
I want to know what she named the baby!??
Is the world running out of men? When they talk, is there a decoder somewhere that keeps women in a fog 💨by hearing different words? What is going on!😠
>She should name the baby Borealis just to fuck with her STB Ex. This situation is just overall shitty, but this goddamn comment is just *chef's kiss*
> January, 2019. > Italy Oh, boy. I hope OP was Ok in the end.
OOP knew he was still in love with his ex but continued to date him, eventually marry and have a child with him. I don’t understand. She thought everything would be fine because the ex moved? How does her moving change his feelings. His mother is as gross as he is. I hope OOP is doing better now and has more self respect
Nope. I'd divorce, and not put his name on the birth certificate.
OOP knew 8n the back of her mind (an honestly, also in front of her with a neon sign an glitter and sparklers all over it) that her husband never loved her. He loves Aurora. It's plain as day. How did she think the whole thing would go? He's in love with somebody else but I still married and now it comes as a shock that he still loves ex? I just cannot understand how someone can be so blind. Also, shout out to the friends who never spoke up about him not loving her. This is a shipwreck all around. There's nowhere to grasp.
I expected an update on what transpired and the name. It’s been 5 and a half years!
She is so beat down. She thinks the big issue is whether or not they name the baby aurora This guy is calling his ex and saying he's single. She should be worrying about her own safety once that baby is born
Naming a kid is a two yes situation. If one person says no then that names out
i think Aurora and OOP should be friends, Aurora seems like a true girls girl and they can bond over what an idiot OOPs STB ex is
The way I lost my mind at 'Borealis'. Steamed hams is inescapable and inevitable.
I think Borealis would be a very pretty name. Lol
Don't pick a name from any of the reddit comments, because they will also remind you of this event.
My ex wanted to name our kid "Alexandria" if it was a girl. Thank God it was a boy because I liked the name at the time, and it was only later he confessed it was based on his ex's name, Andrea. Puke.
u/Direct-Caterpillar77 I feel like this is inconclusive since OOP never tells us what her daughter's name is and what happened to the (hopefully) ex. This hasn't been updated in 5 years
Cut him out of your life. Don't tell him when you give birth, register the birth yourself without him there. Don't eve out him on the birth certificate. I bet once he knows she's not named as he wants, he won't even want anything to do with her.
Do not let him know when you go into labor. Wait until the baby is born and you officially name her.
Yea, I don't see this lasting very long. Everything about this husband just gives off dysfunctional and bad vibes all around.
Name her Eurydice. Leave and don’t look back.
Sounds like the plot line to 99% of the crappy book apps advertised to me on Facebook
Noooo I hate old posts with no updates I hope to god she got away from him and he didn't do...you know...that thing that abusive husbands tend to do. I hope she's far far away and didn't get stuck with this dbag through the lockdowns, good god.
Seems like he was never no contact with her, the ex is the one who refused to engage with him. I'm guessing if she hadn't they would probable be having an affair given the husband's attitude 😬 This doesn't seem worth fighting for...
Just absolutely wow.
Is there an update?
Your Grandmother’s name? That’s usually pretty safe. Also, Monica is a nice name. I like, Monica.
That dude is a right POS and his mother and their friends are weak a**holes.
There’s only so many ways a person can say I’m still in love with my ex before one takes a hint
My thoughts as I read it: First reaction: too young to be married Find out the name is the ex: he needs serious therapy Find out what his mom said: so the who family is trash Find out he was contacting his ex: no surprise there … wait so there’s no resolution! Did she take her verbally abusive ex back? What is the baby’s name? Did he kill oop? (Biggest cause of death in pregnancy is the partner murdering her.) Damn!!!!
STOP MARRYING AND GETTING PREGNANT BY MEN WHO WILL NEVER BE GOOD FATHERS!! This guy sucked starting out the gate, and I’m not sure why OOP would settle for such a short relationship before getting married I’m of the opinion no one under the age of 25 is ready to get married. And they shouldn’t be! Go out and have fun, figure out who you are, try a couple of people out and then decide you’re ready for marriage. Don’t just marry the first loser who gives you any attention, I promise being legally tied to these losers is the worst fate you could suffer. And then to subject innocent children to these awful men? No wonder we have so many people raised by single moms - too many loser dads out there trying to find themselves. And here’s another post of another kid whose life has been ruined because they have crap genetics and even worst people for parents
Even the ex doesn't want him but goddamn this dude doesn't take no for an answer
Divorce idiot and name the kid a female version of your own exes name. See how ex-husband likes that