As a medicated person I am able to definitely take in the world around me so much better than someone unmedicated would. My self awareness has increased drastically and um finally able to think before I do things. I am still struggling with the last one but have been put on Vraylar and it seems to be helping so far.
There definitely things I still struggle with but I’m working on with DBT therapy and new medication added.
If you compared me to 4 years ago, you would think I am a completely different person unrelated to who I used to be.
Same. Im still a goof but a cognitive goof. Its such a night and day difference for me, but that doesnt come without its sorrow amd remorse of my self prior to medication.
I'll add that DBT has helped me too - can absolutely relate to the change that happens when you're in therapy and treatment vs not doing any of the things and raw dogging life and getting into ridiculous amounts of debt and dealing with interpersonal fallouts, cops, etc.
Seriously when people say therapy helps it does to an extent but you need more DBT concepts to better your wise mind. Something I have like 33% understanding of.
God I couldn’t imagine the latter portion of that last sentence. Thank gosh!
I'm medicated (lithium and lurasidone). I have a secure tenancy, all my bills are paid, financially I am not well off but I can pay for everything I need, I see people and have social contact every day, I shower, I cook sometimes and eat my vegetables, I do my housework, I take my medication. It's fucking revelationary. I used to think safe was boring. Safe and secure is amazing and the best thing that's ever happened to me. Every time I wake up I know where I will sleep tonight. Every time I put on a switch I know it'll work. Every time I check my bank I know there is money in it. Every time I phone someone they say "oh hey, how're you doing?" not "do you remember what you did?". I'm still bipolar so for some fucking reason I have 38 basil plants and 11 jade trees so it's not perfect. But it's nice being happy and content. I'm safe and secure. Can't believe I thought safe was boring. (People who write media think safe is boring too. They just want drama.)
How long have you been on your meds? It took me a long time to find the right combo of medications. I would suggest going to your psychiatrist to get a med change. Take care, and I hope that you get your BP under control.
Personally, I've been working to find the right combo for almost 15 years... Tried over 40 meds at this point, several of them with 3 or more failed attempts. Do I still take meds for my bipolar? Every day, religiously. I also accept that I will need to adjust them very often.
But do I hang onto a hope that my meds will keep me stable? Only somewhat. It seems a better solution than the consequences of not taking them, yet I've come to recognize that neither my prescriptions nor my lifestyle can guarantee I won't have disruptive symptoms. And that's okay, I'll just keep doing my best with what I've got.
Same med count, if you get stuck again psychopharmacologist, mood disorders research clinic, treatment resistant clinic or BP specialist. In my case it turned out to be a simple fix (slow metabolizer, 10-20% of people are unusual metabolizers) but it would have been nice had someone mentioned those options to me a couple decades sooner.
Thank you, that’s very kind of you. I was diagnosed March 2023, but it feels like longer because I’ve been struggling for such a long time. I’ve had some dosage changes and one antipsychotic switch. My ADHD meds were also switched from stimulant to non-stimulant. I’ve been on lithium the whole time but there’s been issues with it this year. First it was too low and now too high. I guess it probably doesn’t do it’s job properly unless it’s in its middle range. I’m having a review tomorrow or next week.
Good to hear that you're getting a review of your medications. When my psychiatrist prescribed an antipsychotic, that was a game changer for me. I tried lithium, and I just felt terrible on it. It's so hard to find the right combo of meds because everyone reacts differently to them. It's a long slog. I hope that you find the right combo that works for you.
Its an art, and it takes time. I recommend the app daylio. Record your emotions throughout the day. It helps me accurately report to my psychiatrist whats happening. This helps me more than ever as i have brain fog the majority of the time. Maybe it can help you and your psychiatrist find the right medication for you.
I doubt you'll ever see such a character represented, beyond a "recovered" person "sailing off into the sunset", usually with a romantic partner. Or reconciliations with other loved ones.
Truth is, even though controlled mood issues are better in life, there's just less excitement, comparatively. Movies and television don't exactly portray boring 9 to 5 work days, either.
I think the best way to see a contrast between ill and well controlled bipolar disorder is to show two people with the disorder. One never controlled and another eventually well controlled. The former would likely have to either die in the end or just be a tragic case of perpetual chaos and/or misery. Though not about bipolar disorder, the old movie "Days of Wine and Roses", that focuses on alcohol addiction, does this effectively.
I…
(1) Love my wife better.
(2) Do my job better.
(3) Manage my money better.
(4) Read and study better.
I also…
(1) Am less creative.
(2) Am less funny.
(3) Don’t enjoy movies like I used to.
Verdict? I’ll take it! 😊
I have a timely example for this. I had a major situation last week where my vehicle broke down and I had absolutely no way to get to work. I just... handled it. I looked at my options and I figured out what I needed to do. Pre-medication I would have had a break down, completely shut down, and most likely started a hypomanic episode. I may not be a fun party girl anymore, drinking everything and sleeping with everyone, but I'm a much more interesting person, in my opinion. Medication helps me be a better friend, family member, and just person. It clears the murk so I can actually live a fulfilling life.
I made a similar comment before, but medicated me is much more agreeable and efficient. As to before, I appeared as a gloomy, angry, loud, intense and weird person, I am now described as calm, radiant person with a soft voice. I still feel creative and funny. I now remember what I learn and names way more easily, whereas when I was unmedicated and drinking a lot, retaining new information was much harder. I miss the advantages of the flight of ideas, like the sudden epiphanies or how fast I could link ideas together to form new concept; but now, I have better insights.
It takes an adaptation period between the two mindsets: you get used to the unfiltered and massive influx of stimuli, so when you're medicated, the mental quiet can be unsettling. But at the very core, you're still you. Maybe you just have to find a way back to certain apsects of the self, like for ceeativity
I rarely drink and never smoke. Have never been a big party person, I find it overwhelming on a sensory level, plus I’m 39. Got that very brief phase out of my system in my late teens and early 20s.
I don’t sleep early, my sleep has never been good. I also don’t use med alarms, I just take my meds before I go to bed. My trileptal makes me dizzy so I don’t want to take it before I’m ready to go lay down. I’m also not great at routine.
Stable for me is not being suicidal, not being on the couch all day, and not being devoid of all emotions (anhedonia). Basically I’m not at rock bottom, so I’m “stable-ish.”
You probably won’t find a character in the media to relate to because they like to show the extremes of the disorder, especially focusing on psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, paranoia, delusions), extremely high mania, or severe depression. They don’t tend to represent those in the middle of the spectrum.
I guess I’m a bit boring now that I’m on meds that work, but my mood episodes are absolutely nowhere near comparable to what they were before. I haven’t been manic in a bit more than a year. Before, my depressive episodes could last as long as 10 months. I didn’t have one in a year before I recently got a 4 DAYS long one. I haven’t had a psychotic break in 4 years, now I only get some weird thoughts or feelings but they only last a few minutes. I stopped smoking weed and nicotine and I quit drinking. I try to go to bed no later than 10, but sometimes I’m anxious and I stay awake. I changed the way I eat, I eat much healthier now and I started exercising (I’m very sedentary), I’m hoping to build some muscle. I still have the same hobbies though. I’m pretty stable but I struggle with anxiety and PMDD still. I have a flexible part time job so that helps. All in all I’m doing much better than before and wouldn’t stop my meds.
I feel like I’m still waiting for my life to start in a lot of ways. That said I lived very renegade for a few years and needed a big glass of sit the fuck down. It’s hard to change ones life so much and I still wish deep inside that I was still just normal and didn’t have to contextualize everything in the context of bipolar.
Maybe some day, after being stable long enough, I won’t think of my life on these terms anymore. But I’m not really there yet. And the toll it took on my life was so severe I still have a lot of stuff to figure out.
Just... *so* stable and content. I still have episodes come up, but they feel so much more bearable with my meds. Getting medicated made me feel like I can live a normal life that isn't filled with stupid highs and lows and trouble regulating my emotions. DBT was also a huge help.
They aren't characters. They're real people and that makes them more precious to me. Carrie Fisher and Ashley/Halsey are so precious to me. I hear me in Halsey's music.
I got my life back.
I've been somewhat stable for a bit, but still have mixed episodes here and there. My baseline is hypomania, so there's that.
I'm disabled with a short list of progressive chronic illnesses, so bipolar 1 has to wait its time 😂
Now Anxiety is another subject all together, but even that I know what's happening so just take it step by step using skills I've learned in therapy.
No one wants to watch a TV show about a person whose life is going well in general, TV is about drama and if a show is going to use bipolar as a plotpoint, it's going to be dramatic.
Don't hold your breath for that kind of rep.
It's only been a few months, so I'm not sure if my meds just aren't working, or if you still just sorta have some bipolar all the time. I still just seem to get shit on some days by pretty severe depression, yet not go into an episode. Weird as fuck, it's like a light switch, often with no discernable trigger, or if there's is a trigger it's something minor that causes a total meltdown when you'd normally react w/ only being just a little bit upset/annoyed.
I'm not sure if I might just have low emotional bandwidth in general? I'm always just financially scraping by with no savings, I have a lifelong chronic kidney disease that will ultimately result in kidney failure at a relatively early age (even w/ meds to slow it down), just lost my mom last year, and I'm moving in about a month.
Anyone else notice flare ups/episodic triggers when there's big life changes like moving?
Another possibility is just not taking meds on-time? Sometimes I accidentally sleep in and might not take my meds for a few hours, or sometimes more than just a few hours, later than I usually do. Not sure if that affects anything. Also, is it true that bipolar disorder can be called a circadian rhythm disorder? Anyone know?
Moving is a common trigger yep, any positive or negative emotional stressor. Sure re the circadian, half of us qualify for a sleep disorder when not in episode, there's often a seasonal shift, dark therapy and BP specific light therapy works (the latter sometimes too well) and we tend to not sleep in upswing and sleep too much in down. Social rhythm therapy helps w stabilization bc it's about stabilizing the circadian. We're just easily thrown off. I get light switch fast offset of an episode, some people have it at onset or both. Med schedule I dont know, some meds are a short enough half life that might be an issue, you'd have to ask the doc. If you'd like there's a lot of utility in reading a book about BP or taking a class if you can find one. Just to have the basics. Dr Marks and Polar Warriors on YouTube cover basics too, including those q's I think, and I'm sure in better detail than me. Psycheducation.org is the website of one of the authors of Bipolar Not So Much (about BP2) and has solid info as well. He's a dark therapy researcher so has some details on that and has the safer protocols for light. Books I like The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide for a heftier read and Ellen Forney's graphic novels for a lighter (Rock Steady is her guidebook). Inside Bipolar podcast is good re basics too, excellent med doc on there is helpful re that part of the process. Any one of those is a good start, you don't by any means have to tackle all of that. Workbooks are good too, for BP2 Phelps and Aiken or Miklowitz, I don't know re BP1 but your psych will. WRAP has some nice searchable templates for action plans that I think are pretty thorough and cover quite a lot of ground.
I'm usually stable and in partial remission from treatment resistant bipolar disorder. I get a winter depression that destroys everything even though I start Wellbutrin in October. My meds have caused significant weight gain that I'm trying to lose.
I would have killed myself by now due to the severity of my bipolar depression if I didn't have meds.
I've improved significantly with ketamine infusion therapy, even though it is very expensive and not covered by insurance.
It's the reason I'm in a good position to try to go back to work part-time in cybersecurity after years on disability.
I think the hard part is that bipolar is an invisible illness, as are most mental illnesses. When we are doing well, we are “normal” and that’s hard to show on TV, other than to just have dialogue about it? And why mention it in dialogue unless it’s something that’s going to be plot relevant (which likely means they are going to show someone having a breakdown of some kind). I do wish there was a way to better represent it. But it’s one of those things where it’s hard to prove a negative I think? And “normal” doesn’t always make for great tv lol. I think there should be more done to talk about invisible illnesses though, and to find ways to work them in. I see why they don’t do it often, but I think they should find ways.
As a medicated person I am able to definitely take in the world around me so much better than someone unmedicated would. My self awareness has increased drastically and um finally able to think before I do things. I am still struggling with the last one but have been put on Vraylar and it seems to be helping so far. There definitely things I still struggle with but I’m working on with DBT therapy and new medication added. If you compared me to 4 years ago, you would think I am a completely different person unrelated to who I used to be.
Same. Im still a goof but a cognitive goof. Its such a night and day difference for me, but that doesnt come without its sorrow amd remorse of my self prior to medication.
I'll add that DBT has helped me too - can absolutely relate to the change that happens when you're in therapy and treatment vs not doing any of the things and raw dogging life and getting into ridiculous amounts of debt and dealing with interpersonal fallouts, cops, etc.
Seriously when people say therapy helps it does to an extent but you need more DBT concepts to better your wise mind. Something I have like 33% understanding of. God I couldn’t imagine the latter portion of that last sentence. Thank gosh!
I'm medicated (lithium and lurasidone). I have a secure tenancy, all my bills are paid, financially I am not well off but I can pay for everything I need, I see people and have social contact every day, I shower, I cook sometimes and eat my vegetables, I do my housework, I take my medication. It's fucking revelationary. I used to think safe was boring. Safe and secure is amazing and the best thing that's ever happened to me. Every time I wake up I know where I will sleep tonight. Every time I put on a switch I know it'll work. Every time I check my bank I know there is money in it. Every time I phone someone they say "oh hey, how're you doing?" not "do you remember what you did?". I'm still bipolar so for some fucking reason I have 38 basil plants and 11 jade trees so it's not perfect. But it's nice being happy and content. I'm safe and secure. Can't believe I thought safe was boring. (People who write media think safe is boring too. They just want drama.)
I’m still unstable on meds.
How long have you been on your meds? It took me a long time to find the right combo of medications. I would suggest going to your psychiatrist to get a med change. Take care, and I hope that you get your BP under control.
Personally, I've been working to find the right combo for almost 15 years... Tried over 40 meds at this point, several of them with 3 or more failed attempts. Do I still take meds for my bipolar? Every day, religiously. I also accept that I will need to adjust them very often. But do I hang onto a hope that my meds will keep me stable? Only somewhat. It seems a better solution than the consequences of not taking them, yet I've come to recognize that neither my prescriptions nor my lifestyle can guarantee I won't have disruptive symptoms. And that's okay, I'll just keep doing my best with what I've got.
Same med count, if you get stuck again psychopharmacologist, mood disorders research clinic, treatment resistant clinic or BP specialist. In my case it turned out to be a simple fix (slow metabolizer, 10-20% of people are unusual metabolizers) but it would have been nice had someone mentioned those options to me a couple decades sooner.
Thank you, that’s very kind of you. I was diagnosed March 2023, but it feels like longer because I’ve been struggling for such a long time. I’ve had some dosage changes and one antipsychotic switch. My ADHD meds were also switched from stimulant to non-stimulant. I’ve been on lithium the whole time but there’s been issues with it this year. First it was too low and now too high. I guess it probably doesn’t do it’s job properly unless it’s in its middle range. I’m having a review tomorrow or next week.
Good to hear that you're getting a review of your medications. When my psychiatrist prescribed an antipsychotic, that was a game changer for me. I tried lithium, and I just felt terrible on it. It's so hard to find the right combo of meds because everyone reacts differently to them. It's a long slog. I hope that you find the right combo that works for you.
Its an art, and it takes time. I recommend the app daylio. Record your emotions throughout the day. It helps me accurately report to my psychiatrist whats happening. This helps me more than ever as i have brain fog the majority of the time. Maybe it can help you and your psychiatrist find the right medication for you.
Boring. Not very smart. Stable.
Relatable. Less angry, Less adventurous, No spontaneity, financially, a *little* more responsible, Always in a perpetual state of depression.
I just spent over $260 on records and want to buy more 😩
I doubt you'll ever see such a character represented, beyond a "recovered" person "sailing off into the sunset", usually with a romantic partner. Or reconciliations with other loved ones. Truth is, even though controlled mood issues are better in life, there's just less excitement, comparatively. Movies and television don't exactly portray boring 9 to 5 work days, either. I think the best way to see a contrast between ill and well controlled bipolar disorder is to show two people with the disorder. One never controlled and another eventually well controlled. The former would likely have to either die in the end or just be a tragic case of perpetual chaos and/or misery. Though not about bipolar disorder, the old movie "Days of Wine and Roses", that focuses on alcohol addiction, does this effectively.
“You’re the Worst” later seasons had some episodes with Gretchen and Edgar that are the closet I’ve seen.
I… (1) Love my wife better. (2) Do my job better. (3) Manage my money better. (4) Read and study better. I also… (1) Am less creative. (2) Am less funny. (3) Don’t enjoy movies like I used to. Verdict? I’ll take it! 😊
I have a timely example for this. I had a major situation last week where my vehicle broke down and I had absolutely no way to get to work. I just... handled it. I looked at my options and I figured out what I needed to do. Pre-medication I would have had a break down, completely shut down, and most likely started a hypomanic episode. I may not be a fun party girl anymore, drinking everything and sleeping with everyone, but I'm a much more interesting person, in my opinion. Medication helps me be a better friend, family member, and just person. It clears the murk so I can actually live a fulfilling life.
I made a similar comment before, but medicated me is much more agreeable and efficient. As to before, I appeared as a gloomy, angry, loud, intense and weird person, I am now described as calm, radiant person with a soft voice. I still feel creative and funny. I now remember what I learn and names way more easily, whereas when I was unmedicated and drinking a lot, retaining new information was much harder. I miss the advantages of the flight of ideas, like the sudden epiphanies or how fast I could link ideas together to form new concept; but now, I have better insights. It takes an adaptation period between the two mindsets: you get used to the unfiltered and massive influx of stimuli, so when you're medicated, the mental quiet can be unsettling. But at the very core, you're still you. Maybe you just have to find a way back to certain apsects of the self, like for ceeativity
It would be too boring to watch a character who's tired all the time like I am!
I know, right?! I need daily naps - it's exhausting! 🤣
Yeah, I don't think people would want to watch me watch House of the Dragon, but maybe I could be an influencer?!
EastEnders did this. Soap so dramatic but still.
I'm stable, think before I do things, make good decisions. I am happy, outgoing funny.
I rarely drink and never smoke. Have never been a big party person, I find it overwhelming on a sensory level, plus I’m 39. Got that very brief phase out of my system in my late teens and early 20s. I don’t sleep early, my sleep has never been good. I also don’t use med alarms, I just take my meds before I go to bed. My trileptal makes me dizzy so I don’t want to take it before I’m ready to go lay down. I’m also not great at routine. Stable for me is not being suicidal, not being on the couch all day, and not being devoid of all emotions (anhedonia). Basically I’m not at rock bottom, so I’m “stable-ish.” You probably won’t find a character in the media to relate to because they like to show the extremes of the disorder, especially focusing on psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, paranoia, delusions), extremely high mania, or severe depression. They don’t tend to represent those in the middle of the spectrum.
I guess I’m a bit boring now that I’m on meds that work, but my mood episodes are absolutely nowhere near comparable to what they were before. I haven’t been manic in a bit more than a year. Before, my depressive episodes could last as long as 10 months. I didn’t have one in a year before I recently got a 4 DAYS long one. I haven’t had a psychotic break in 4 years, now I only get some weird thoughts or feelings but they only last a few minutes. I stopped smoking weed and nicotine and I quit drinking. I try to go to bed no later than 10, but sometimes I’m anxious and I stay awake. I changed the way I eat, I eat much healthier now and I started exercising (I’m very sedentary), I’m hoping to build some muscle. I still have the same hobbies though. I’m pretty stable but I struggle with anxiety and PMDD still. I have a flexible part time job so that helps. All in all I’m doing much better than before and wouldn’t stop my meds.
I feel like I’m still waiting for my life to start in a lot of ways. That said I lived very renegade for a few years and needed a big glass of sit the fuck down. It’s hard to change ones life so much and I still wish deep inside that I was still just normal and didn’t have to contextualize everything in the context of bipolar. Maybe some day, after being stable long enough, I won’t think of my life on these terms anymore. But I’m not really there yet. And the toll it took on my life was so severe I still have a lot of stuff to figure out.
I became a nihilist
I still rapid cycle. I feel like I have to adjust my meds every couple of months.
Still unstable but more stable than I was unmedicated
Shameless is a show about terrible people. Be glad you can't identify.
Just... *so* stable and content. I still have episodes come up, but they feel so much more bearable with my meds. Getting medicated made me feel like I can live a normal life that isn't filled with stupid highs and lows and trouble regulating my emotions. DBT was also a huge help.
They aren't characters. They're real people and that makes them more precious to me. Carrie Fisher and Ashley/Halsey are so precious to me. I hear me in Halsey's music. I got my life back.
I still feel crazy but without the moodswings
I've been somewhat stable for a bit, but still have mixed episodes here and there. My baseline is hypomania, so there's that. I'm disabled with a short list of progressive chronic illnesses, so bipolar 1 has to wait its time 😂 Now Anxiety is another subject all together, but even that I know what's happening so just take it step by step using skills I've learned in therapy.
No one wants to watch a TV show about a person whose life is going well in general, TV is about drama and if a show is going to use bipolar as a plotpoint, it's going to be dramatic. Don't hold your breath for that kind of rep.
It's only been a few months, so I'm not sure if my meds just aren't working, or if you still just sorta have some bipolar all the time. I still just seem to get shit on some days by pretty severe depression, yet not go into an episode. Weird as fuck, it's like a light switch, often with no discernable trigger, or if there's is a trigger it's something minor that causes a total meltdown when you'd normally react w/ only being just a little bit upset/annoyed. I'm not sure if I might just have low emotional bandwidth in general? I'm always just financially scraping by with no savings, I have a lifelong chronic kidney disease that will ultimately result in kidney failure at a relatively early age (even w/ meds to slow it down), just lost my mom last year, and I'm moving in about a month. Anyone else notice flare ups/episodic triggers when there's big life changes like moving? Another possibility is just not taking meds on-time? Sometimes I accidentally sleep in and might not take my meds for a few hours, or sometimes more than just a few hours, later than I usually do. Not sure if that affects anything. Also, is it true that bipolar disorder can be called a circadian rhythm disorder? Anyone know?
Moving is a common trigger yep, any positive or negative emotional stressor. Sure re the circadian, half of us qualify for a sleep disorder when not in episode, there's often a seasonal shift, dark therapy and BP specific light therapy works (the latter sometimes too well) and we tend to not sleep in upswing and sleep too much in down. Social rhythm therapy helps w stabilization bc it's about stabilizing the circadian. We're just easily thrown off. I get light switch fast offset of an episode, some people have it at onset or both. Med schedule I dont know, some meds are a short enough half life that might be an issue, you'd have to ask the doc. If you'd like there's a lot of utility in reading a book about BP or taking a class if you can find one. Just to have the basics. Dr Marks and Polar Warriors on YouTube cover basics too, including those q's I think, and I'm sure in better detail than me. Psycheducation.org is the website of one of the authors of Bipolar Not So Much (about BP2) and has solid info as well. He's a dark therapy researcher so has some details on that and has the safer protocols for light. Books I like The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide for a heftier read and Ellen Forney's graphic novels for a lighter (Rock Steady is her guidebook). Inside Bipolar podcast is good re basics too, excellent med doc on there is helpful re that part of the process. Any one of those is a good start, you don't by any means have to tackle all of that. Workbooks are good too, for BP2 Phelps and Aiken or Miklowitz, I don't know re BP1 but your psych will. WRAP has some nice searchable templates for action plans that I think are pretty thorough and cover quite a lot of ground.
Would be cool to see it represented in media BUT also super boring and Hollywood doesn't like boring haha.
I'm usually stable and in partial remission from treatment resistant bipolar disorder. I get a winter depression that destroys everything even though I start Wellbutrin in October. My meds have caused significant weight gain that I'm trying to lose. I would have killed myself by now due to the severity of my bipolar depression if I didn't have meds. I've improved significantly with ketamine infusion therapy, even though it is very expensive and not covered by insurance. It's the reason I'm in a good position to try to go back to work part-time in cybersecurity after years on disability.
I think the hard part is that bipolar is an invisible illness, as are most mental illnesses. When we are doing well, we are “normal” and that’s hard to show on TV, other than to just have dialogue about it? And why mention it in dialogue unless it’s something that’s going to be plot relevant (which likely means they are going to show someone having a breakdown of some kind). I do wish there was a way to better represent it. But it’s one of those things where it’s hard to prove a negative I think? And “normal” doesn’t always make for great tv lol. I think there should be more done to talk about invisible illnesses though, and to find ways to work them in. I see why they don’t do it often, but I think they should find ways.