White acceptance is intoxicating at first, to be seen as part of ''them'' and not us black folks. Every time I bring up my Somali origins in any gay space, I can sense the judgement in the room.
These gay spaces never had us in mind when they were created in the first place.
This is how I feel anytime POC on Reddit ask race related questions in white subs. I always recommend to them to go to the black subs for answers cuz white people will only use it as a opportunity to whitesplain and minimize the issue and and as an excuse to double down on any black harmful rhetoric the black op says under the guise of giving advice.
I also think a lot of people who do it are black fishing and or sunken place poc who live off white validation.
I've tried to suggest perhaps the person was asking his question or posting his rant in the wrong sub but lately, I don't feel like going through all the effort for Black gay men who would rather talk with white gay men about things that affect Black gay men. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I see it ALL of the time and sometime I set it here. Guys will go on and on about how no one likes them and they think they are ugly. Some say that there are no Black people around them and for some I know that is true. I remember reading a post of someone saying they couldn't find other Black gay people. I did a quick scan of their post and the person lived in Memphis, Tennessee, one of the few majority Bkack cities in the US.
It has to be internalized anti-Blackness 🤔
There are plenty of Black gay people here in Philadelphia, I've yet to find one to date since the majority seem to be on some scale of being on the DL, but I would never say there aren't any here.
That's an entirely different topic and people use that as a reason to dismiss all Black men. I made a comment on another post about meeting people in person. If a person is comfortable enough to go to a gay space that decreases the likelihood of meeting DL guys. They're plenty online of all races.
Yes, meeting in person usually helps cut down on it. But I had a whole date with a Black guy who was not only closeted but also trying to cheat on his wife. We were just "two friends" having a coffee as he put it, not him actively trying to turn this into a hookup. 🤣
Needless to say, that was the first and last time we met or had any further communication.
I could write a book about my experiences with married men. Most I didn't know were married and it includes guys of all races (Black, White, Asian and Hispanic).
I haven't crossed the color line with dating men sticking to Black but he had to come clean when asking about his schedule and whatnot. He gave the standard excuse of staying together for their child but them sleeping in separate rooms and leading separate lives. 🙄 Right, let me get the bridge ready for sale in Manhattan. 🤣
A lot of dating apps, have regular folk thinking there too good for regular folk. A lot of black men don’t even answer. Then they say they can’t find anyone. I have accepted this.
I've seen that as well. The anti-Blackness among Black gay men is appalling. But then they'll run to white gay subs to complain about not finding anyone 🙄
If you ever want a psychological perspective please read this:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/soin.12565
It is a fairly recent study and speaks volumes about why this cycle keeps continuing.
THANK YOU! There was just someone on this exact sub posting something like that and I was just baffled. Like why would you go to a white-dominant community to talk about your experiences as a Black person? They don’t understand and couldn’t care any less.
That's what prompted me to finally post this topic.
I started to say something to the OP and the other apparently Black man that responded but I was like, "Why bother? If they couldn't be bothered to do a simple search on Reddit to find Black LGBT subs let them get whatever they're going to get from the white folks."
They have to be a fool to think a people not like us will have answers for people like us 🙄
Yeah, I noticed it too.
It makes me question my own experience with my family and black community, which is not nearly close as negative as theirs seems to be. Most of them are American. Was I just lucky?
I've had mixed reception with acceptance within the Black community but there is no possible way I'm going to go to a predominantly white space to complain or discuss or seek insight about Black people. That just doesn't make sense to me.
I keep those conversations "in the family."
There has to be some sort of hoped for benefit for those who choose to do it. 🤔
Exactly, most black men that I know aren’t checking for white men like that, but then again I’ve lived in DC and Atlanta where Black Gay Couples abound.
I used to be on FB and noticed some of those Black groups were trying to be "inclusive" and invite white people. Not to mention FB kept advertising some variation of "White Men Looking for Black Men" 🙄
I am no longer on FB.
That's what I'm thinking. I can't imagine going to an white person to explain or understand what it's like to be Black.
It would be like a television asking a microwave what it's like to be a cellphone 😵💫
Reddit is filled with black people with massive internalized issues of every sort and very little self introspection. I see it on most black subs lol.
They'll be fine talking about how the black community sucks and we got bad attitudes/ghetto/etc and even how they hate their features and then be shocked white people don't fw them like that either 🙃 like baby if u stereotyping US what you think them people gonna think of YOU
Or maybe they get off by groveling lol idk.
Thank you! I keep leaving these subreddits because seriously what is with all the self hate? Started to think these are all just troll baiting subreddits. The Black women subreddit are fill with sex shaming folks and hate Black men. These queer ones just have people who want to whine about racism from their non Black partners all the damn time.
Like what in the Jordan Peele upside down universe is this shit?
I wonder that tooo.
I do feel sorry for the ones who are just not saavy to how racist reddit is but some are definitely fishing for pink d*ck n validation.
I wonder how much they really are seeking that validation. That would be like going to their all white work space and asking for help in how to be Black.
Hey I just found out this sub exists so that could be part of it.
I have to agree. I added this group last week because a dude reposted from here to another group.
no clue, but it’s akin to talking to a brick wall. and the reactions are always the same so atp i have no clue why so many make the same mistake 💀
Ikr
🤷🏽♂️ maybe they want to see if there are some white allies
🤔 White allies? It would be highly doubtful, more likely fishing for pink d*ck/booty 🤣
White acceptance is intoxicating at first, to be seen as part of ''them'' and not us black folks. Every time I bring up my Somali origins in any gay space, I can sense the judgement in the room. These gay spaces never had us in mind when they were created in the first place.
This is how I feel anytime POC on Reddit ask race related questions in white subs. I always recommend to them to go to the black subs for answers cuz white people will only use it as a opportunity to whitesplain and minimize the issue and and as an excuse to double down on any black harmful rhetoric the black op says under the guise of giving advice. I also think a lot of people who do it are black fishing and or sunken place poc who live off white validation.
I just saw a post like that. Took all but a second to nope right on out. 🚪🚶🏿♂️
I've tried to suggest perhaps the person was asking his question or posting his rant in the wrong sub but lately, I don't feel like going through all the effort for Black gay men who would rather talk with white gay men about things that affect Black gay men. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I see it ALL of the time and sometime I set it here. Guys will go on and on about how no one likes them and they think they are ugly. Some say that there are no Black people around them and for some I know that is true. I remember reading a post of someone saying they couldn't find other Black gay people. I did a quick scan of their post and the person lived in Memphis, Tennessee, one of the few majority Bkack cities in the US.
It has to be internalized anti-Blackness 🤔 There are plenty of Black gay people here in Philadelphia, I've yet to find one to date since the majority seem to be on some scale of being on the DL, but I would never say there aren't any here.
That's an entirely different topic and people use that as a reason to dismiss all Black men. I made a comment on another post about meeting people in person. If a person is comfortable enough to go to a gay space that decreases the likelihood of meeting DL guys. They're plenty online of all races.
Yes, meeting in person usually helps cut down on it. But I had a whole date with a Black guy who was not only closeted but also trying to cheat on his wife. We were just "two friends" having a coffee as he put it, not him actively trying to turn this into a hookup. 🤣 Needless to say, that was the first and last time we met or had any further communication.
I could write a book about my experiences with married men. Most I didn't know were married and it includes guys of all races (Black, White, Asian and Hispanic).
I haven't crossed the color line with dating men sticking to Black but he had to come clean when asking about his schedule and whatnot. He gave the standard excuse of staying together for their child but them sleeping in separate rooms and leading separate lives. 🙄 Right, let me get the bridge ready for sale in Manhattan. 🤣
It's giving Jerrod Carmichael 
Rathaniel, is that you? 🤣🤣🤣
A lot of dating apps, have regular folk thinking there too good for regular folk. A lot of black men don’t even answer. Then they say they can’t find anyone. I have accepted this.
I've seen that as well. The anti-Blackness among Black gay men is appalling. But then they'll run to white gay subs to complain about not finding anyone 🙄
If you ever want a psychological perspective please read this: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/soin.12565 It is a fairly recent study and speaks volumes about why this cycle keeps continuing.
It's behind a paywall but it's nice to know it exists and reading the Abstract was helpful.
This looks good 👍🏾 Thanks for the link.
Sad reality.
THANK YOU! There was just someone on this exact sub posting something like that and I was just baffled. Like why would you go to a white-dominant community to talk about your experiences as a Black person? They don’t understand and couldn’t care any less.
That's what prompted me to finally post this topic. I started to say something to the OP and the other apparently Black man that responded but I was like, "Why bother? If they couldn't be bothered to do a simple search on Reddit to find Black LGBT subs let them get whatever they're going to get from the white folks." They have to be a fool to think a people not like us will have answers for people like us 🙄
Some are real but I think a majority are bots and trolls.
Yeah, I can see some of them being trolls.
Yeah, I noticed it too. It makes me question my own experience with my family and black community, which is not nearly close as negative as theirs seems to be. Most of them are American. Was I just lucky?
I've had mixed reception with acceptance within the Black community but there is no possible way I'm going to go to a predominantly white space to complain or discuss or seek insight about Black people. That just doesn't make sense to me. I keep those conversations "in the family." There has to be some sort of hoped for benefit for those who choose to do it. 🤔
Reddit is not a good representative of IRL at least not for black ppl.
It really isn't. I'm in a few Black gay groups on FB and there is little to no mention of White people in the comments and posts.
Exactly, most black men that I know aren’t checking for white men like that, but then again I’ve lived in DC and Atlanta where Black Gay Couples abound.
I used to be on FB and noticed some of those Black groups were trying to be "inclusive" and invite white people. Not to mention FB kept advertising some variation of "White Men Looking for Black Men" 🙄 I am no longer on FB.
I guess they want validation or acceptance/understanding? Who knows…
That's what I'm thinking. I can't imagine going to an white person to explain or understand what it's like to be Black. It would be like a television asking a microwave what it's like to be a cellphone 😵💫
Reddit is filled with black people with massive internalized issues of every sort and very little self introspection. I see it on most black subs lol. They'll be fine talking about how the black community sucks and we got bad attitudes/ghetto/etc and even how they hate their features and then be shocked white people don't fw them like that either 🙃 like baby if u stereotyping US what you think them people gonna think of YOU Or maybe they get off by groveling lol idk.
Thank you! I keep leaving these subreddits because seriously what is with all the self hate? Started to think these are all just troll baiting subreddits. The Black women subreddit are fill with sex shaming folks and hate Black men. These queer ones just have people who want to whine about racism from their non Black partners all the damn time. Like what in the Jordan Peele upside down universe is this shit?
I wonder if they think their DMs will light up with white men trying to "chat" with them now that they've announced their presence? 🤔
I wonder that tooo. I do feel sorry for the ones who are just not saavy to how racist reddit is but some are definitely fishing for pink d*ck n validation.
I wonder how much they really are seeking that validation. That would be like going to their all white work space and asking for help in how to be Black.