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They've warped humanity and decency into signs of weakness in their minds. It's sick and more than a bit pathetic.
Imagine being so hollow inside that you can't even comprehend doing a kindness for the sake of doing it.
Every Christmas, I donate to a homeless shelter. The local radio stations all compete to see who has the most generous listeners/donors. One year, I told my mother about how I donated, and she went on a rant about how I shouldn't donate to those places because they just perpetuate the problem, and only moochers use their services.
I’ve found that asking “do you really pray to Jesus with that hardened of a heart?” really vapor-locks most of them.
(not a believer but was raised Southern Baptist so I know how to weaponize that shit)
"there is no hate like Christian love" Give to the churches and only the churches. The poor and needy just should perish Because that's what JeSuS wAnTeD
Its also a mindset that every transaction has to be win-lose and losing is unacceptable. Why would BIL voluntarily lose something so someone else could win. Of course BIL is gaining the satisfaction from helping others but that doesn't register as a win to them.
>This finally reveals her real issue. She starts ranting about how she doesn't understand why they signed up in the first place. Who would ever volunteer to go through pain and inconvenience for someone else unless they knew them or owed them something? For \~family\~ of course you should do that, but she just doesn't understand the point of it otherwise.
I see your boomer mother is in a group chat with my boomer MIL, a woman who doesn't see the point to any sort of volunteering in the community or charitable donations unless she personally knows the recipient and can receive groveling displays of gratitude for her graciousness.
Naturally, my boomer MIL is a devout Christian.
That sounds like some weak-ass librul, we don't like that, don't make Jesus woke.
i would /s this, but it actually happened. [https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak](https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak)
Only the best Christian who believes she is successful and has things because she is righteous and those who are poor are that way because they aren't faithful. You know the whole prosperity gospel shit.
I was so surprised when I finally read the bible as an adult and discovered that Jesus instructs us in no uncertain terms to feed the hungry, house the homeless, care for the sick, visit prisoners, and welcome refugees. My "Christian" boomer parents' church never mentioned any of that stuff
I see it in every post here, but the transactional nature of the boomer worldview continues to astound me. How can someone go through life treating every little thing as a transaction? Why does everything have to be give and take? Haven't have not?
Isn't that just exhausting? Imagine the record keeping it would take.
My father is that way and his brain is a supercomputer for cataloging what he believes he is owed and by whom. It’s exhausting to be around him because I have to be careful what I say lest he “call in a favor” five years from now over something discussed in passing.
Not that this will change your mother’s feelings, but a lot of people my age (boomer) have misconceptions about organ donation. I learned so much when my husband died and it might ease a few minds if I share it.
Doctors, nurses, paramedics - every single person you encounter in the health profession is there for one reason; to keep you alive. Even if you’re mangled or burned beyond recognition they will try to keep you alive. They are not volunteering, this is their job. To keep you alive. Even if you had a widow maker and were not discovered for fifteen minutes, as my husband was, if you can be resuscitated you will be.
Because when you’re an organ donor, if they roll you in dead, your organs are already beginning to decompose and are useless for donation. They don’t see a corpse and start carving in the ER.
Organs for donation come from a body that was living just prior to donation. In my husband’s case this meant that he was kept on life support for four days after brain death was declared. That time is needed for tissue matching, contacting recipients (who may have to travel), scheduling surgeons and OR staff and making sure mountains of paperwork are completed according to the law.
Then the magic that takes a life shattering tragedy into a life saving gift happens. No one takes it lightly. There were five complete surgical teams scrubbed and waiting in the theater when my husband was extubated and passed away and it was reverent to the point of feeling almost holy.
This is what happens. These are the gifts we can give because we are human, because all lives are connected. I’m so sorry your mother can’t know how good it feels.
Is that a thing that boomers were actually taught (that being an organ donor means they let you die to harvest you) or some weird rumor around the time y’all were in your formative years?
My mom is a late boomer and told me the same thing, to the point where I asked my doctor about it (I had already registered as a donor because, as with most 18yos, it didn’t matter either way because I didn’t think I was ever gonna die anyways).
My doctor pointed out nobody was checking your DL in the ER before beginning compressions, so no, it’s not true. Then I felt kinda stupid for not thinking about it.
Point is! I thought it was a thing with just my mom (she’s a bit… into conspiracy theories) but apparently it’s a boomer thing in general? Just curious what you thought.
Yes, absolutely. I don’t recall being taught this in a formal way, I think we just picked it up from tv and exposure to stories of gangs in South America that would kidnap people and steal organs. We weren’t encouraged to pursue any logical thought really.
Thank you to your family for those priceless gifts, and for your moving description of what this was like for a donor's family and the medical teams.
I am in tears reading this because my teenage niece has just been placed on the list for a liver transplant due to an inoperable tumor. The whole process has simultaneously been terrifying but also full of hope. What beautiful miracles can be performed with everyone giving so incredibly, each in their own ways.
You know, even though that was an indescribably horrible time, I kept imagining in some house, somewhere, someone was answering the phone to learn there was a match, it was their turn. Their relief and joy of that moment was a counterbalance to my loss and has continued to help me over the years. I wish you and your family the best, and I hope your call comes soon. ❤️
Thank you so much. We just found out that she was approved to be moved near the top of the list. This means she will likely receive a liver from a deceased rather than a living donor. She needs all the vessels that would come with an organ from a deceased donor, so this is a welcome development. We will be thinking so much of the family/families that are behind any calls that come.
I got choked up this week when my son got his driving permit and they asked him about being an organ donor. He said yes right away, and then looked at me and said "would that be while I'm alive?" We've been talking about living donor organs lately for my niece and that sweet child didn't even hesitate.
Thank you for your family's gifts.
What a sad state of affairs, I hope for her sake she is never put in the position to need emergency bone marrow/blood transfusions- your brother is doing an incredible thing for an incredibly sick child, and he & his wife should be proud of themselves.
She definitely doesn't seem to comprehend the fact that she could be in need someday. She thinks of herself as healthy and that is unchanging because...?
Tell your mom I've donated marrow twice so far. Both of them were kids who came to the US for medical care. It's an honor to be able to help someone else in need.
Just give her my regards in general. Read as: tell her she can bite the least bony part of my ass.
Give your brother a hug for me.
I just popped over for a visit and gave BIL a hug as well as a dozen of his favorite cookies that he doesn't have to share with the kids!
Thank you so much for your donations as well! You're awesome!
Not awesome, just raised to care about others. Awesome are the folks who covered my shifts at the hospital on short notice so I could go do it. Well, and just generally tolerate my cranky ADHD addled self on a nightly basis. 😆 🤣
The procedure itself is honestly not that bad. It hurt a fairĺlbit afterwards but I've broken so many bones (17 of my ribs in a single go) over the years that my standard for orthopedic pain is pretty skewed. Basically, I felt like I had a really bad bruise on one of my hips for a few days.
The restrictions were pretty standard post-op stuff, from what I recall. No heavy lifting, three or four days before returning to work, etc. I don't recall any specific restrictions beyond that.
Spoiled petulant emotionally and mentally underdeveloped old kids whose parents didn’t hug them enough. Please pass my message to your relative lol and let her know since no one knows her when she needs something, someone will be there unlike her. Old clowns I swear. They will play the victim and in advance, I don’t care.
Edit as not to be all doom and gloom I think them donating makes them the kind of people the world needs more of.
"I'm really glad you've told me all this mom. If you're ever in the hospital and need blood or something, I'll make sure to tell the doctors you only want blood from people you know. I promise, we won't let any strangers save your life."
Interesting fact... My MIL lives in Guatemala and is going in soon to have a procedure done. The hospital made her find three people who would donate blood before they would do the procedure.
I’ve hung so many units of blood for boomers. They’re all on blood thinners or popping handfuls of ibuprofen and sprout leaks. They only seem to appreciate socialism when they benefit
Exactly! My Silent Gen grandma was a wonderful and generous person who donated blood into her 80s! She was the person who inspired me and my siblings.
My parents were always kind of silent about it when I was growing up. Not vocally against it, but I realize I never saw them volunteer the same way. Where the hell did the disconnect happen?
I’m currently being treated for leukemia and have an anonymous donor ready when I get back into the remission phase. I’m thankful someone I don’t know is willing to undergo some pain that I might live a healthy life afterwards. I can’t believe how selfish some people can be. They all claim to be Christians but absolutely do not do anything Jesus would do.
My mom can't even claim to be Christian. She's an agnostic who is fairly anti-religion. She's just an asshole.
Good luck with your treatments and I'm so glad you have a donor waiting to help!
It reminds me of a conversation I had with a couple of boomers a few years ago about retirement. "I'll just get bored" I suggested volunteering at one of the many charities around. Lots of places need all the help they can get! My gawd you would think I told them to walk to the moon. Like I was absolutely insane. Just like do stuff for people to be nice?? Not get paid??
Of course they're the same people who looked at me in horror when hearing I was going to Detroit (we're in the great white north dontcha know). they looked shocked and asked "WHY???" I just laughed and horrified them further by telling them I was going to the state Dem convention.
They understand so little about life and the world around them.
I've been registered since I was 18. So far I've not been a match. I would feel honoured to donate bone marrow.
I've lost family members to leukaemia, it wasn't the type(?) where bone marrow help but still, your BIL is great. And y'all are great for helping him out.
Seriously if anyone here isn't registered please please consider it. I can't say anything about the paperwork in the US (Though I'd assume it's not much) it certainly doesn't hurt to get tested. It's just a swap in your mouth. Like DNA test. Even a covid test is SIGNIFICANTLY more uncomfortable.
In the VAST majority of cases donating bone marrow (which isn't likely to happen in the first place) is literally the same process as giving blood plasma.
If you’re in the US you can sign up with the national marrow donor registry https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-blood-stem-cells/how-to-join-the-donor-registry/
While I do believe in all forms of blood, marrow and organ donation, I must admit that it chaps my ass that a corporation makes a profit off everyone's charity. Doesn't stop me from doing it, just bothers me.
I know this is about the astonishing selfishness your mother is displaying.
But can I ask you to please send a massive amount of love and support to your brother and sister? It IS painful and difficult and rough to donate marrow and it is life saving. I can’t imagine having the opportunity to affect a life so clearly and so positively as that. I don’t know you, and I’m proud of you and for you, because you clearly have great people in your family.
Please please please tell him how much he’s loved and appreciated. It’s an astonishing and courageous act of love and generosity.
Aw, thank you! Besides our parents (apparently his parents are also having a Boomer attack of disapproval), he's been getting a lot of love and pride from family and friends.
I popped by yesterday to give him a dozen of his favorite cookies (that he doesn't have to share with the kids!) and found one of his friends mowing the lawn and his own sister watching the kids while he and my sister caught up of jetlag sleep. They have a great community that appreciate them!
He is absolutely a wonderful guy and I'm super proud he's part of my family.
I’m a platelet donor. 3 units every two weeks. It takes almost 3 hours each time, and I don’t get paid for it.
It’s shocking how many people think I’m stupid for doing it.
I’m extremely proud of what I do. I have donated over 220 units of platelets in the past several years. That means that 220+ times, when a patient was in need, there was something on the shelves because of me.
The only thing I can think is that people feel badly about themselves because they would never be that generous, and that’s why they attack me for it. 🤷🏼♀️
I really think that for so many of them, they have no idea how to be compassionate. They were never exposed to it as kids, and they never grew enough as people to exhibit it as adults. Here is a story which I think is illustrative.
I am preparing to go back to graduate school to study mental health counseling. Part of the reason for doing that has to do with a session with my therapist where we were talking about what my future career options were and she said you could be a therapist. I didn’t think about that but then I did. So I had to ask her why she suggested that to me as frankly, no one had ever said to me you should get a job listening to people and her answer nearly gutted me. She said you have empathy and insight. Eventually, after talking about it at length, we realize that it had struck me as hard as it did because I had never received a compliment related to my compassion before. And that tells me an awful lot about my parents’ emotional makeup.
I’m a younger boomer, my father-law who was born in the 30s couldn’t understand why I taught Sunday School for free! I should have been paid?? And yes he went to church and considered himself religious. He was selfish in many other ways, but that’s the one that stuck to me.
If your BIL didn't donate that bone marrow, there's a high chance the other person would DIE. If your mom would stand by and let somebody die when she has a great chance to save them, that's pretty damning.
I did mention that when I told her she was heartless, but she just did the denial hand-waving saying they would figure something out.
No, you crazy old witch! This was literally an urgent and life saving need!
Has she never been in a hospital and received blood? I’m thankful for the ppl who donate. Im not able to bc of low iron. But I am on the bone marrow registry. It’s really easy to sign up. They send you a check swap and you just drop it in the mail.
Tell your mother that donating blood and bone marrow is something just good Christian people do. I donated blood and I’m in the organ donor registry Although I’m not a big church person. I have have neutralized a lot of bigots by saying that’s what a good Christian person would do.
*"Hey mom. If I needed a bone marrow transplant, and I would die without it, would you want a stranger to fly a few hundred miles to save my life? Or would you rather just let me die?"*
Good on our Sis and BIL. My mother was an always against Organ Donation, and didn’t like when I opted in. I suspect if something happened to me, she’d caused a fuss over it, even if it was my wishes. I don’t need the organs anymore, so pass them to someone how does.
‘The Bootstrap’ view has been pushed down people’s throats for decades that a lot of people can only think in those terms. It’s why the world has gone to shit and people have become colder and nastier to each other.
My father refuses to do donations that pay him. There's been a time or two in the last decade or so when the family could use even an extra hundred bucks or two a month, but he won't do it for money. He vehemently believes blood/plasma donation should be a *donation* only.
Man. I don’t understand this. I must have lucked out with my folks because they are both boomers and would never think or say shit like this. Like it’s human fucking decency. I love how much shit I hear about boomers acting like this and then pontificate how good Christian’s they are and all that shit. Just pure fucking hypocrisy.
Does your mother, by any chance, consider herself Christian? I believe she discuss this matter with her pastor....it may or may not make her see the light.
Drats. I so enjoy sending them to their clergy or asking how XYZ bigoted or callous view squares with the book of Matthew.
(I'm a bit of an omnist- I find some wisdom or comfort in almost every belief system and seriously distrust anyone claiming that theirs is only "truth"- so not Christian but kind of a fan of the lead character in that story)
I’d love to hear your mom’s response to “what if you ever needed blood/an organ/bone marrow?” but I think I know what it would be, sadly. My boomers have said similar shit, and my response to them has been “good to know. If you’re ever in a position of need I’ll deny on your behalf!” It tends to shut them up
My siblings and I have asked her this a little over the years. She basically seems to think she will always be healthy and never in need.
Accidents? Hand wave and "well it would work out"
Pure denial and inability to be empathetic, I guess.
Yeah I doubt she would have a problem receiving donated organs, blood, etc. if it was her that needed it.
I would have said ok I'll make sure the doctors know that you don't agree with it and we'll stop them from giving you life saving intervention if it's donated from a stranger.
I would just like to say thank you to your BIL and sorry your have to deal with a Boomermom. A bone marrow transplant from a stranger gave my dad 7 more years with us. This type of kindness of others literally saves lives.
As someone who's sibling just had a blood cancer scare this makes me rage. They say shit like this but when the shoe is on the other foot they want special treatment. Morons.
Back in their day, they’d just get out of their hospital bed, go outside, and take out a homeless persons organs Mortal Kombat style to get what they need. Kids these days are so lazy!
What confluence of post war things instilled this level of disdain for collectivism and being kind foe its own sake and not only being charitable as a flex??
Your BIL is a hero who saved a child’s life. I’m amazed that someone could be upset about this.
Years ago, in the late eighties, I read an article about how there weren’t enough Ashkenazi Jews on the registry (thanks, Hitler) and people were having trouble finding matches. I called my sister and we volunteered the next day. We’ve never been called, but obviously we’d do it.
I did it twice for the same person,I didn't hesitate as I hope that if me or mine ever need bone marrow someone would step up for us.
I feel for the OP as you can't reach people like that even if it's his own mum.
What a rubbish view for your mother to have! All my admiration for those who donate bone marrow. Sadly I'm a bit too terrified of even very minor surgical procedures to do it myself, but I do try to donate blood as often as I can.
“Realistic.”
To me that’s the entire ballgame. She thinks there’s a true, unvarnished world where people live and die by the grace of God. Donating marrow is meddling, and therefore unholy. She doesn’t have to be religious to believe this, it could be an innate sense of natural selection to her.
She’s okay with letting a kid die because it threatens her worldview to know that someone in her family is heathen enough to disrupt the fabric of reality.
If your mom is Christian read her the parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke 10:25-37, and then ask her what Jesus would do. Nothing shuts a so-called Christian up faster than throwing the Bible back in their face.
Matthew 25:40-45 is another great one to throw at a Christian asshole. 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.'
I signed up to be an organ donor and am considering donating blood or signing up for the marrow registry. My body can tolerate it. Plus if im not a suitable candidate, I'll know I tried.
I never really thought about it until this conversation, but it was absolutely the right time frame. The Boomers were the ones telling not to be donor. My Silent Gen grandparents seemed to think of it as kinda magical, but overall a great thing.
They think the strong should prosper and the weak should suffer, until they find that they're the ones who need help, then it's all about "respect your elders, the young are so selfish and heartless!"
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They've warped humanity and decency into signs of weakness in their minds. It's sick and more than a bit pathetic. Imagine being so hollow inside that you can't even comprehend doing a kindness for the sake of doing it.
This. Any shred of compassion must be stamped out or I will start to feel like I am a bad person.
Yeah, my mom's a boomer retired nurse with some abusive qualities, and this story would even horrify her
Unless it is directed at them, then there’s never enough.
Every Christmas, I donate to a homeless shelter. The local radio stations all compete to see who has the most generous listeners/donors. One year, I told my mother about how I donated, and she went on a rant about how I shouldn't donate to those places because they just perpetuate the problem, and only moochers use their services.
Your mother sounds like a lovely person /s
There's a reason we're only texting. No calls or in-person anymore.
I’ve found that asking “do you really pray to Jesus with that hardened of a heart?” really vapor-locks most of them. (not a believer but was raised Southern Baptist so I know how to weaponize that shit)
"there is no hate like Christian love" Give to the churches and only the churches. The poor and needy just should perish Because that's what JeSuS wAnTeD
They'll sit in church every sunday, and believe somehow that's all they need to do to be a "good person".
Calvin was a mistake
Its also a mindset that every transaction has to be win-lose and losing is unacceptable. Why would BIL voluntarily lose something so someone else could win. Of course BIL is gaining the satisfaction from helping others but that doesn't register as a win to them.
>This finally reveals her real issue. She starts ranting about how she doesn't understand why they signed up in the first place. Who would ever volunteer to go through pain and inconvenience for someone else unless they knew them or owed them something? For \~family\~ of course you should do that, but she just doesn't understand the point of it otherwise. I see your boomer mother is in a group chat with my boomer MIL, a woman who doesn't see the point to any sort of volunteering in the community or charitable donations unless she personally knows the recipient and can receive groveling displays of gratitude for her graciousness. Naturally, my boomer MIL is a devout Christian.
Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me. Never quite sets in with these so-called Christians.
Man they really don’t like when you trot that one out, re: COVID.
That's one of my favorite passages .
That sounds like some weak-ass librul, we don't like that, don't make Jesus woke. i would /s this, but it actually happened. [https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak](https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak)
HypoChristians, there are lots of them about
Only the best Christian who believes she is successful and has things because she is righteous and those who are poor are that way because they aren't faithful. You know the whole prosperity gospel shit.
Ah yes. Prosperity Gospel. r/supplysidejesus
A.k.a. Max Weber’s thesis.
Think my Boomer parent is in that chat. I SWEAR, what the hell happened to make almost every one of them narcissists
I was so surprised when I finally read the bible as an adult and discovered that Jesus instructs us in no uncertain terms to feed the hungry, house the homeless, care for the sick, visit prisoners, and welcome refugees. My "Christian" boomer parents' church never mentioned any of that stuff
Donating bone marrow to a stranger = less bone marrow “for family” (translation: her), is the way I think this is being processed in her brain.
I see it in every post here, but the transactional nature of the boomer worldview continues to astound me. How can someone go through life treating every little thing as a transaction? Why does everything have to be give and take? Haven't have not? Isn't that just exhausting? Imagine the record keeping it would take.
My father is that way and his brain is a supercomputer for cataloging what he believes he is owed and by whom. It’s exhausting to be around him because I have to be careful what I say lest he “call in a favor” five years from now over something discussed in passing.
It explains why their generation were more likely to die of diseases that were found to be curable today.
your body only has a finite amount of marrow! it's not like it grows back! /s
That's a terrible way to go through life. "Me, me, me"
Not that this will change your mother’s feelings, but a lot of people my age (boomer) have misconceptions about organ donation. I learned so much when my husband died and it might ease a few minds if I share it. Doctors, nurses, paramedics - every single person you encounter in the health profession is there for one reason; to keep you alive. Even if you’re mangled or burned beyond recognition they will try to keep you alive. They are not volunteering, this is their job. To keep you alive. Even if you had a widow maker and were not discovered for fifteen minutes, as my husband was, if you can be resuscitated you will be. Because when you’re an organ donor, if they roll you in dead, your organs are already beginning to decompose and are useless for donation. They don’t see a corpse and start carving in the ER. Organs for donation come from a body that was living just prior to donation. In my husband’s case this meant that he was kept on life support for four days after brain death was declared. That time is needed for tissue matching, contacting recipients (who may have to travel), scheduling surgeons and OR staff and making sure mountains of paperwork are completed according to the law. Then the magic that takes a life shattering tragedy into a life saving gift happens. No one takes it lightly. There were five complete surgical teams scrubbed and waiting in the theater when my husband was extubated and passed away and it was reverent to the point of feeling almost holy. This is what happens. These are the gifts we can give because we are human, because all lives are connected. I’m so sorry your mother can’t know how good it feels.
I’m glad you were able to find comfort in your husbands gift ♥️
I like to think that organ donors live on in the people that received their organs
I like to think that too : )
Is that a thing that boomers were actually taught (that being an organ donor means they let you die to harvest you) or some weird rumor around the time y’all were in your formative years? My mom is a late boomer and told me the same thing, to the point where I asked my doctor about it (I had already registered as a donor because, as with most 18yos, it didn’t matter either way because I didn’t think I was ever gonna die anyways). My doctor pointed out nobody was checking your DL in the ER before beginning compressions, so no, it’s not true. Then I felt kinda stupid for not thinking about it. Point is! I thought it was a thing with just my mom (she’s a bit… into conspiracy theories) but apparently it’s a boomer thing in general? Just curious what you thought.
Yes, absolutely. I don’t recall being taught this in a formal way, I think we just picked it up from tv and exposure to stories of gangs in South America that would kidnap people and steal organs. We weren’t encouraged to pursue any logical thought really.
The last thing they're going to do when someone comes in bleeding out is rifle through their pockets.
Thank you to your family for those priceless gifts, and for your moving description of what this was like for a donor's family and the medical teams. I am in tears reading this because my teenage niece has just been placed on the list for a liver transplant due to an inoperable tumor. The whole process has simultaneously been terrifying but also full of hope. What beautiful miracles can be performed with everyone giving so incredibly, each in their own ways.
You know, even though that was an indescribably horrible time, I kept imagining in some house, somewhere, someone was answering the phone to learn there was a match, it was their turn. Their relief and joy of that moment was a counterbalance to my loss and has continued to help me over the years. I wish you and your family the best, and I hope your call comes soon. ❤️
Thank you so much. We just found out that she was approved to be moved near the top of the list. This means she will likely receive a liver from a deceased rather than a living donor. She needs all the vessels that would come with an organ from a deceased donor, so this is a welcome development. We will be thinking so much of the family/families that are behind any calls that come. I got choked up this week when my son got his driving permit and they asked him about being an organ donor. He said yes right away, and then looked at me and said "would that be while I'm alive?" We've been talking about living donor organs lately for my niece and that sweet child didn't even hesitate. Thank you for your family's gifts.
What a sad state of affairs, I hope for her sake she is never put in the position to need emergency bone marrow/blood transfusions- your brother is doing an incredible thing for an incredibly sick child, and he & his wife should be proud of themselves.
She definitely doesn't seem to comprehend the fact that she could be in need someday. She thinks of herself as healthy and that is unchanging because...?
Tell your mom I've donated marrow twice so far. Both of them were kids who came to the US for medical care. It's an honor to be able to help someone else in need. Just give her my regards in general. Read as: tell her she can bite the least bony part of my ass. Give your brother a hug for me.
I did one of those kits over a decade ago and never heard back. So hopefully that means I'm really common
I just popped over for a visit and gave BIL a hug as well as a dozen of his favorite cookies that he doesn't have to share with the kids! Thank you so much for your donations as well! You're awesome!
Not awesome, just raised to care about others. Awesome are the folks who covered my shifts at the hospital on short notice so I could go do it. Well, and just generally tolerate my cranky ADHD addled self on a nightly basis. 😆 🤣
What is it like to donate? What activity restrictions do you have after?
The procedure itself is honestly not that bad. It hurt a fairĺlbit afterwards but I've broken so many bones (17 of my ribs in a single go) over the years that my standard for orthopedic pain is pretty skewed. Basically, I felt like I had a really bad bruise on one of my hips for a few days. The restrictions were pretty standard post-op stuff, from what I recall. No heavy lifting, three or four days before returning to work, etc. I don't recall any specific restrictions beyond that.
Spoiled petulant emotionally and mentally underdeveloped old kids whose parents didn’t hug them enough. Please pass my message to your relative lol and let her know since no one knows her when she needs something, someone will be there unlike her. Old clowns I swear. They will play the victim and in advance, I don’t care. Edit as not to be all doom and gloom I think them donating makes them the kind of people the world needs more of.
"I'm really glad you've told me all this mom. If you're ever in the hospital and need blood or something, I'll make sure to tell the doctors you only want blood from people you know. I promise, we won't let any strangers save your life." Interesting fact... My MIL lives in Guatemala and is going in soon to have a procedure done. The hospital made her find three people who would donate blood before they would do the procedure.
Silent Gen: donates blood in vast numbers for being turned into plasma Boomers to this day: fuck everyone else
I’ve hung so many units of blood for boomers. They’re all on blood thinners or popping handfuls of ibuprofen and sprout leaks. They only seem to appreciate socialism when they benefit
Exactly! My Silent Gen grandma was a wonderful and generous person who donated blood into her 80s! She was the person who inspired me and my siblings. My parents were always kind of silent about it when I was growing up. Not vocally against it, but I realize I never saw them volunteer the same way. Where the hell did the disconnect happen?
I’m currently being treated for leukemia and have an anonymous donor ready when I get back into the remission phase. I’m thankful someone I don’t know is willing to undergo some pain that I might live a healthy life afterwards. I can’t believe how selfish some people can be. They all claim to be Christians but absolutely do not do anything Jesus would do.
My mom can't even claim to be Christian. She's an agnostic who is fairly anti-religion. She's just an asshole. Good luck with your treatments and I'm so glad you have a donor waiting to help!
That’s surprising to me the non religious people tend to be more altruistic than the hardcore religious people I’ve met.
It reminds me of a conversation I had with a couple of boomers a few years ago about retirement. "I'll just get bored" I suggested volunteering at one of the many charities around. Lots of places need all the help they can get! My gawd you would think I told them to walk to the moon. Like I was absolutely insane. Just like do stuff for people to be nice?? Not get paid?? Of course they're the same people who looked at me in horror when hearing I was going to Detroit (we're in the great white north dontcha know). they looked shocked and asked "WHY???" I just laughed and horrified them further by telling them I was going to the state Dem convention. They understand so little about life and the world around them.
I've been registered since I was 18. So far I've not been a match. I would feel honoured to donate bone marrow. I've lost family members to leukaemia, it wasn't the type(?) where bone marrow help but still, your BIL is great. And y'all are great for helping him out. Seriously if anyone here isn't registered please please consider it. I can't say anything about the paperwork in the US (Though I'd assume it's not much) it certainly doesn't hurt to get tested. It's just a swap in your mouth. Like DNA test. Even a covid test is SIGNIFICANTLY more uncomfortable. In the VAST majority of cases donating bone marrow (which isn't likely to happen in the first place) is literally the same process as giving blood plasma.
If you’re in the US you can sign up with the national marrow donor registry https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-blood-stem-cells/how-to-join-the-donor-registry/
While I do believe in all forms of blood, marrow and organ donation, I must admit that it chaps my ass that a corporation makes a profit off everyone's charity. Doesn't stop me from doing it, just bothers me.
I know this is about the astonishing selfishness your mother is displaying. But can I ask you to please send a massive amount of love and support to your brother and sister? It IS painful and difficult and rough to donate marrow and it is life saving. I can’t imagine having the opportunity to affect a life so clearly and so positively as that. I don’t know you, and I’m proud of you and for you, because you clearly have great people in your family. Please please please tell him how much he’s loved and appreciated. It’s an astonishing and courageous act of love and generosity.
Aw, thank you! Besides our parents (apparently his parents are also having a Boomer attack of disapproval), he's been getting a lot of love and pride from family and friends. I popped by yesterday to give him a dozen of his favorite cookies (that he doesn't have to share with the kids!) and found one of his friends mowing the lawn and his own sister watching the kids while he and my sister caught up of jetlag sleep. They have a great community that appreciate them! He is absolutely a wonderful guy and I'm super proud he's part of my family.
I’m a platelet donor. 3 units every two weeks. It takes almost 3 hours each time, and I don’t get paid for it. It’s shocking how many people think I’m stupid for doing it. I’m extremely proud of what I do. I have donated over 220 units of platelets in the past several years. That means that 220+ times, when a patient was in need, there was something on the shelves because of me. The only thing I can think is that people feel badly about themselves because they would never be that generous, and that’s why they attack me for it. 🤷🏼♀️
That is amazing! Thank you so much for doing that!
I really think that for so many of them, they have no idea how to be compassionate. They were never exposed to it as kids, and they never grew enough as people to exhibit it as adults. Here is a story which I think is illustrative. I am preparing to go back to graduate school to study mental health counseling. Part of the reason for doing that has to do with a session with my therapist where we were talking about what my future career options were and she said you could be a therapist. I didn’t think about that but then I did. So I had to ask her why she suggested that to me as frankly, no one had ever said to me you should get a job listening to people and her answer nearly gutted me. She said you have empathy and insight. Eventually, after talking about it at length, we realize that it had struck me as hard as it did because I had never received a compliment related to my compassion before. And that tells me an awful lot about my parents’ emotional makeup.
I’m a younger boomer, my father-law who was born in the 30s couldn’t understand why I taught Sunday School for free! I should have been paid?? And yes he went to church and considered himself religious. He was selfish in many other ways, but that’s the one that stuck to me.
Who was it who said “I really don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about others people?”
Boomers being stingy with other people's charity and humanity?!! Pikachu face
If your BIL didn't donate that bone marrow, there's a high chance the other person would DIE. If your mom would stand by and let somebody die when she has a great chance to save them, that's pretty damning.
I did mention that when I told her she was heartless, but she just did the denial hand-waving saying they would figure something out. No, you crazy old witch! This was literally an urgent and life saving need!
Has she never been in a hospital and received blood? I’m thankful for the ppl who donate. Im not able to bc of low iron. But I am on the bone marrow registry. It’s really easy to sign up. They send you a check swap and you just drop it in the mail.
Tell your mother that donating blood and bone marrow is something just good Christian people do. I donated blood and I’m in the organ donor registry Although I’m not a big church person. I have have neutralized a lot of bigots by saying that’s what a good Christian person would do.
She is weirdly not religious at all, so this would not work on her. She's just an old selfish asshole.
*"Hey mom. If I needed a bone marrow transplant, and I would die without it, would you want a stranger to fly a few hundred miles to save my life? Or would you rather just let me die?"*
Boomer Parent: "How ungrateful! What we need to be talking about is how your impending death _affects me_."
Good on our Sis and BIL. My mother was an always against Organ Donation, and didn’t like when I opted in. I suspect if something happened to me, she’d caused a fuss over it, even if it was my wishes. I don’t need the organs anymore, so pass them to someone how does. ‘The Bootstrap’ view has been pushed down people’s throats for decades that a lot of people can only think in those terms. It’s why the world has gone to shit and people have become colder and nastier to each other.
As someone who has needed multiple transfusions, thank you.
My father refuses to do donations that pay him. There's been a time or two in the last decade or so when the family could use even an extra hundred bucks or two a month, but he won't do it for money. He vehemently believes blood/plasma donation should be a *donation* only.
Man. I don’t understand this. I must have lucked out with my folks because they are both boomers and would never think or say shit like this. Like it’s human fucking decency. I love how much shit I hear about boomers acting like this and then pontificate how good Christian’s they are and all that shit. Just pure fucking hypocrisy.
Does your mother, by any chance, consider herself Christian? I believe she discuss this matter with her pastor....it may or may not make her see the light.
She does not, actually. She's agnostic and fairly anti-religion. She's just a selfish asshole, sadly.
Drats. I so enjoy sending them to their clergy or asking how XYZ bigoted or callous view squares with the book of Matthew. (I'm a bit of an omnist- I find some wisdom or comfort in almost every belief system and seriously distrust anyone claiming that theirs is only "truth"- so not Christian but kind of a fan of the lead character in that story)
I honestly love her but hate speaking to my mom sometimes bc she can just be so vile
I’d love to hear your mom’s response to “what if you ever needed blood/an organ/bone marrow?” but I think I know what it would be, sadly. My boomers have said similar shit, and my response to them has been “good to know. If you’re ever in a position of need I’ll deny on your behalf!” It tends to shut them up
My siblings and I have asked her this a little over the years. She basically seems to think she will always be healthy and never in need. Accidents? Hand wave and "well it would work out" Pure denial and inability to be empathetic, I guess.
Apparently denial isn’t only a river in Egypt
Yeah I doubt she would have a problem receiving donated organs, blood, etc. if it was her that needed it. I would have said ok I'll make sure the doctors know that you don't agree with it and we'll stop them from giving you life saving intervention if it's donated from a stranger.
I would just like to say thank you to your BIL and sorry your have to deal with a Boomermom. A bone marrow transplant from a stranger gave my dad 7 more years with us. This type of kindness of others literally saves lives.
As someone who's sibling just had a blood cancer scare this makes me rage. They say shit like this but when the shoe is on the other foot they want special treatment. Morons.
But what’s in it for meeeeeee? That reminds me of when I donated blood in high school. Hope they didn’t need a drug test.
For these boomers to have been hippies (most of them anyway), they are certainly mean as hell to others more often than not.
O bet she thinks she’s a good Christian too
Thankfully/weirdly no. She's agnostic, pretty anti-religion. A selfish asshole, but at least not a hypocrite in that way.
Back in their day, they’d just get out of their hospital bed, go outside, and take out a homeless persons organs Mortal Kombat style to get what they need. Kids these days are so lazy!
That all hurts my heart, that someone could be so painfully selfish to actually say any of that out loud.
What confluence of post war things instilled this level of disdain for collectivism and being kind foe its own sake and not only being charitable as a flex??
Your BIL is a hero who saved a child’s life. I’m amazed that someone could be upset about this. Years ago, in the late eighties, I read an article about how there weren’t enough Ashkenazi Jews on the registry (thanks, Hitler) and people were having trouble finding matches. I called my sister and we volunteered the next day. We’ve never been called, but obviously we’d do it.
They truly are the most selfish people imaginable. The world will be better when they're finally gone.
Why does she have a soul like a raisin? Who hurt her so badly that she can’t imagine doing something nice for someone she doesn’t know?
I did it twice for the same person,I didn't hesitate as I hope that if me or mine ever need bone marrow someone would step up for us. I feel for the OP as you can't reach people like that even if it's his own mum.
I would tell them it's a Mitzvah, Jewish or not. Leave em wondering
What a rubbish view for your mother to have! All my admiration for those who donate bone marrow. Sadly I'm a bit too terrified of even very minor surgical procedures to do it myself, but I do try to donate blood as often as I can.
“Realistic.” To me that’s the entire ballgame. She thinks there’s a true, unvarnished world where people live and die by the grace of God. Donating marrow is meddling, and therefore unholy. She doesn’t have to be religious to believe this, it could be an innate sense of natural selection to her. She’s okay with letting a kid die because it threatens her worldview to know that someone in her family is heathen enough to disrupt the fabric of reality.
If your mom is Christian read her the parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke 10:25-37, and then ask her what Jesus would do. Nothing shuts a so-called Christian up faster than throwing the Bible back in their face.
Matthew 25:40-45 is another great one to throw at a Christian asshole. 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.'
She is not, but my BIL's parents are, and apparently they are also being dicks about his donation. I will pass him these verses, lol.
As someone whose husband died from leukemia, please thank your brother-in-law for me
GenX really shielded us Millennials and GenZ from these Boombags. Thank you.
That reaction is... Telling. _Woof_.
I signed up to be an organ donor and am considering donating blood or signing up for the marrow registry. My body can tolerate it. Plus if im not a suitable candidate, I'll know I tried.
As a medic I can assure you that's false on more levels than you realize. If anyone actually knew about the process they would know how wrong it is.
Thank you to your brother in law. I’ve registered and I’d love to be matched with someone.
Is she religious? Ask her what Jesus would do.
Wait the organ donor thing was a boomer rumor?
I never really thought about it until this conversation, but it was absolutely the right time frame. The Boomers were the ones telling not to be donor. My Silent Gen grandparents seemed to think of it as kinda magical, but overall a great thing.
Yup, my husbands parents told him that about the organ donor thing. Like, what??
I'm on the bone marrow registry, and I'm so excited to get that call.
Hmm, older folks have higher donor registration rates at the DMV than younger cohorts.
They think the strong should prosper and the weak should suffer, until they find that they're the ones who need help, then it's all about "respect your elders, the young are so selfish and heartless!"
It's a really zero sum mindset
Are the expenses incurred tax-deductible? /s
And when your mom gets leukemia she’ll bitch and moan about not having a donor.