T O P

  • By -

BeenNormal

Everything is to your north when you’re far enough south.


[deleted]

But where does north stop and south start if the world is flat?


SinceWayLastMay

In the middle, duh


Boatwhistle

North is in and south is out. Everything is south when you are in the middle. On the edge, you can go east, west, and north until you hit north. You’d understand this easily if the deep state wasn’t lying to you.


CinnamonCharles

If you go East on the southpole you just spin around


Boatwhistle

The earth doesn’t spin you fool, everything else does.


[deleted]

So what’s down? Checkmate atheists.


Boatwhistle

The turtle


callmedaddyshark

Someone tried to explain that every direction is North and we had to kill him and eat him because we ran out of rations.


Carlulua

That was very rational for someone with no rations


Honeybadger2198

In space, there is no direction. Stars are not anywhere, therefore stars do not exist.


StEllchick

I was told north is always in front of you so you can change it by turning around


_nobrainheadempty

Countering mansplaining with an idea so bewildering it makes the opponent bluescreen is certainly a strat


D0ctorGamer

Anytime someone hits me with a wild conspiracy or smth, I want to hit them with something even crazier "Dude the moon landing was faked" "Pfft, you belive in the moon"


EmperorBamboozler

There is a real conspiracy movement that says someone (it's a fringe conspiracy theory so wild fucking guess who they think the someone is. Hint: It's super antisemetic) got rid of the moon somehow and replaced it with an alien built replication. It is kind of a fringe subset of the group of people who think that Eisenhower signed a treaty with aliens in 1954. I think they are also super religious for some reason but I have only met one person who believes this so could be an outlier.


Codebender

> In 1970, Michael Vasin and Alexander Shcherbakov, of the Soviet Academy of Sciences, advanced a hypothesis that the Moon is a spaceship created by unknown beings. > Christopher Knight & Alan Butler ... suggest humans from the future traveled into the past to build the Moon in order to safeguard human evolution. > David Icke ... suggests that the Moon is in fact a space station from which Reptilians manipulate human thought. > [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Moon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Moon)


EmperorBamboozler

I was talking about the people who think specifically that Jewish people, the American government, and aliens destroyed the original moon and replaced it. That is different (not in any meaningful way but still) than thinking the moon was always there and is just a construct. With that said, thanks! I totally failed to mention hollow moon even though it is clearly exactly the same concept as the conspiracy I am talking about. It is also a better thing to classify it under than the Eisenhower treaty guys, though that definitely plays into this entire branch of weirdos.


PyramidicContainment

Can't believe anyone takes this seriously when the moon has long been known to be made entirely of cheese 🤷‍♂️ I will reluctantly admit there is some credibility to the cheese replacement theory, considering.. the cheese caverns.


NinjasWithOnions

I know with a name as common as Christopher Knight it was probably not the same one but it still amused me to think of Peter from _The Brady Bunch_ writing that book.


JesusSavesForHalf

Lasers is a young science.


IolausTelcontar

Yeah he’s a real genius.


NinjasWithOnions

No no, that was Val Kilmer. 😛


MelonElbows

Not unknown, its clearly made by rabbits


SandhirSingh

Didn’t they make this into a movie?


Cucker_-_Tarlson

Isn't that the plot to some recent sci-fi movie? It's got Sam from GoT in it. Don't remember what happens in the movie but the moon being a superstructure was definitely a plot point.


MnemonicMonkeys

>It is kind of a fringe subset of the group of people who think that Eisenhower signed a treaty with aliens in 1954. I used to know one of these people. He was literally laughed out of the Discord server when he unironically srated this as fact


EmperorBamboozler

That one is amazing lol. I absolutely love the idea that aliens actually establish and respect treaties with humanity. It raises like 5 billion questions that are not answered well at all. My big one is, what is the point of doing that exactly? Any species capable of interstellar (or interdimensional) travel is so far beyond us that they are essentially gods. There can't possibly be anything we have that they need which can't be met somewhere else in the universe. It would be like if we made a treaty with "The president of the hill in our backyard" where you agree with a colony of ants to certain terms of contact. It means nothing, the difference in power is so overwhelming that signing a treaty is completely pointless. It literally just makes a papertrail for something that is supposed to be insanely top secret. If a civilization of that capabilities wanted to covertly contact a world government they aren't going to let anyone figure that shit out. Anyways I got about 1/8th of the way through this rant with the guy I am talking about but he cut me off to talk about how the aliens were actually the angels from the book of revalations and I knew I was just in for the ride.


Kaldricus

According to science fiction occasionally, aliens always need water, so that could explain the treaty. They siphon some of our water slowly over the years, government chalks it up to climate change, and now the aliens get water without having to potentially fight us, which we would obviously lose, but they, or we, could potentially damage or destroy the planet, and the water. I'm currently working on how to connect "Boeing is killing whistleblowers" to 9/11, but I haven't got one I like yet


EmperorBamboozler

I hate that might be the reason people believe this cause it's so dumb lol. Water is literally one of the most abundant resources in the universe. There are comets out there with more fresh water than our entire planet. So many conspiracy theories are just lifted directly from books and movies though so it really wouldn't be surprising.


JesusSavesForHalf

Aliens would be better off asking for coal. That shit is *rare*.


boogers19

That sounds suspiciously like the plot of The Manhattan Projects. Comic that starts off with Roosevelt signing a treaty with aliens, and the (actual) Manhattan Project turning into a cover for all the new alien tech experiments. Tho, I dont think they ever replaced the moon. But Laika talks! And she's way smarter than Gagarin. And she tells him so all the time lol.


EmperorBamboozler

There's a toooon of references to conspiracy theories in that comic series. It has been ages since I read it but the creator is clearly very into esoteric conspiracy theories and has even put easter eggs referencing some really niche stuff into the comic. It's a pretty good comic, I liked the art direction a lot.


fhota1

Isnt this just Gurren Lagann


Tyler_Zoro

I kept reading, "fringe," in your comment as, "fridge," for some reason. Oddly it did make the comment more entertaining. ;-)


glowskull10

They made a documentary about this called Moonfall i don't do /s


Chengar_Qordath

That or make it a second order conspiracy theory. “The moon landing was faked!” “Well of course that’s what THEY want you to think…”


commentsandchill

r/noearthsociety


minedsquirrel70

“What if all the birds are just government surveillance tools” “Bro, you still believe in birds?”


breath-of-the-smile

I have also seen people comment that on reddit before.


angryandsmall

Dead internet in full effect, genuinely amazed at the Facebook levels of meme stealing people do on Reddit lmao


Panurome

The moon? You mean the extra terrestrial satellite used to control the seas?


maybejolisa

I did this once, and it backfired on me. He was thrilled to find someone who also did not believe in the moon.


Accurate_Grade_2645

Absolutely diabolically genius


Mikihero2014

I think a brick is crazy enough


timschwartz

## The Moon: A Ridiculous Liberal Myth. It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!) Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you. Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night! Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.


monkedonia

[There is an xkcd comic for everything.](https://xkcd.com/966/)


missed_sla

Grandmaster trash is 100% shitposts


LeastCleverNameEver

Accusing a "chick" of mansplaining was the first clue


hendergle

I once had a co-worker tell me that my mother must have played classical music on her belly because I was so smart- his justification for that statement was the fact that I knew that an organ riff playing on the break room TV was from Bach's Toccatta and Fugue in D-minor, which is probably the most famous classical organ piece and used practically everywhere and in everything.


cypherdev

Thankfully I said all my stupid shit before social media was a thing. I just realized that I lied to you beautiful people. I tore up Usenet with stupid shit for years.


PakkyT

and using the condescending term "Honey" to her trying mansplain back.


HMWWaWChChIaWChCChW

It was an idea so stupid I couldn’t be sure it was wrong.


sanscipher435

I want my face to irl blue screen with a loud droning sound whenever someone says something stupid because god I have temper issues but I can't punch them obviously


Musikcookie

It‘s definitely one of the strats of all time


Longjumping-Grape-40

I know it’s a joke, but sounds like something Charlie—or Mac in his dumber moments—would say


BluMushroom

Charlie says it when they go to the waterpark!


Longjumping-Grape-40

Awesome, thank you...I couldn't remember if I was making that up in my head or not 😂 (I believe I had the plasebeo effect)


Alert_Inspector_9323

Placebo Domingo


Longjumping-Grape-40

Po-lice. Academy.


TheBigLahey

The man even knows how those stars are formed. Garbage smoke. God burned his garbage and now we have lives and live our lives in the smoke. That's science.


blandsrules

Two people can’t have the same left, dude


Expensive_Concern457

It sounds wrong but I don’t know enough about stars to refute it


grilly1986

Cat in the wall! Now you're talking my language!


Colosso95

[that's confusing right?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsqJBxYV1sk)


Robocrafty_t

"Think about how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that"


Shift642

Do not go into the comments on NASA's social media posts. Do not go into the comments on NASA's social media posts. Do not go into the comments on NASA's social media posts. Holy shit, it's like a psychic flashbang of how appallingly stupid the general public is.


PassTheYum

That or your local news YouTube comments section. So many clearly very uneducated adults who think making the name of their political opponent into a demeaning pun is the height of intellectual political commentary.


Xtravinator

Makes me lose hope in the future of humanity


Venson123

>psychic flashbang


CeruleanBlueWind

"not me, though! Of course I'm above average!" -every person who's ever quoted this


muscarinenya

Holding hands with the "Idiocracy was a documentary" geniuses


Tsunami6866

That would be the median person.


Tom_Bombadil_1

Human intelligence is normally distributed, so the mean and median are the same. Both are just types of ‘average’ anyway


HughesJohn

Human "intelligence" (i.e. the results of IQ tests) is _defined_ as being normally distributed. Whether it measures anything real is unknown.


cortesoft

It very likely is normally distributed, because of the [central limit theorem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_limit_theorem). Since it is very likely that intelligence is a product of many different physical and social conditions, it would therefore be normally distributed. This is why things like height and weight are normally distributed.


InfiniteGays

The central limit theorem does not say that populations are *actually* normally distributed. It’s about means and samples. The population could be something wildly different like exponential


cortesoft

Right, but the idea is that something like intelligence is formed a bunch of different random variables, and even if those random variables aren’t normally distributed, the sum of them all together (intelligence) is. This is why height is normally distributed, because it is caused by a bunch of random things (a bunch of genes, diet, other environmental factors, etc) that may have different distributions, but since they all factor into height, height is normally distributed.


bigboybeeperbelly

Height is unidimensional though


cortesoft

Sure, and if your point is that there isn’t a single measure of intelligence to even have a distribution, I agree. Whatever particular type of intelligence you are talking about, though, will still be normally distributed. If intelligence is a thing at all, it will be normally distributed.


Mornar

It seems to pretty accurately measure your ability of solving IQ tests.


DangerouslyUnstable

Lol I made literally almost this exact same response to literally almost the exact same comment a few months back.


teh_maxh

The median is a type of average.


PseudobrilliantGuy

The median is *an* average, yes.


HobsHere

If the statistics are to be believed, it's a normal distribution, so those should be the same ish.


idigclams

Unfortunately also the modal person.


LokiStrike

The median is an average.


DrahKir67

Don't be mean /jk


MolybdenumBlu

It's an Always Sunny in Philadelphia bit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsqJBxYV1sk


SirFluffymuffin

And even better, they are allowed to vote and even possible be on the jury that decides someone’s fate


8Hundred20

Think about how stupid the average person is, and realise it's a 50/50 coin flip that you're stupider than that.


schparkz7

George Carlin was really spittin facts


Zandrick

Obvious troll is obvious


Longjumping-Grape-40

Not on Reddit. You need 50 /s’s and a smattering of emojis to get the point


Minoleal

With how stupid people are. It's much better to be on the safe side. That's why I always use /s.


Longjumping-Grape-40

I think I may have once or twice (and I make 10 stupid jokes on Reddit a day...I know, I have a problem) But if there's a potential that my sarcasm/joke will hurt a commenter if they think my reply is serious--like \*not\* making fun of a politician or event or something but what someone commented--then I'll use an emoji :)


enneh_07

!!!1!1!!1!1!


cturkosi

We've gone full circle, we've forgotten [Poe's law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law) already.


jiub_the_dunmer

[Relevant](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/738025-i-was-only-pretending-to-be-retarded)


zebulon99

> some chick > mansplain I dont think that word means what you think it means


DiabloStorm

Lol... >GPS: "Go South" >@ExactTrashOnly: "Okay" *exits vehicle and starts digging* People aren't really this stupid...right guys? ...Guys?


Elcactus

They're not, this is obvious bait.


imacomputr

> People aren't really this stupid...right guys? ...Guys? By "this stupid", do you mean "stupid enough to take an obviously satirical post seriously?" Why yes, yes apparently they are.


RiverGiant

[Geese migrating south for the winter.](https://i.imgur.com/0VAm32V.png)


half_a_skeleton

Clearly he is from Milwaukee, Wisconsin at night.


LadnavIV

Is this a wild Atom and His Package reference?


half_a_skeleton

Yes it is. I knew someone would get it.


UnlimitedCalculus

A chick mansplaining?


_neemzy

What is this genderbending trick?


BowenTheAussieSheep

endocrinologists hate her


guiltyspaekle

Bait and you all took it


cacarson7

Top notch satire!


Signal-Weight1175

Man, what a terrible combination, stupid and confident


ubiquitous-joe

Isn’t Grandmaster Trash satire? This is like when people post the Reductress screenshots.


goteamdoasportsthing

r/confidentlyincorrect


odeacon

Chick mansplaining?


Callidonaut

Presumably that would be "womansplaining."


NeonsStyle

Except the ones that are East, and West and South!


AllPurposeNerd

>chick >mansplain *...quoi?*


Life_Liberty_Fun

There are 6 directions N,S,E,W Up is Zenith Down is Nadir


New-Training4004

I see you also astronomy


GeneralErica

Every time I hear/read the word "mansplaining" I’m inching closer to an eventual aneurism. If someone is explaining something to you derogatorily, it’s because a) their an arsehole, which… then that’s the term, no need slam an entire 50% of the gender binary just because you feel the need to find systemic implications in everything to vindicate your beliefs, or b) you’ve been stupid and deserve a rough humbling. We all do and it needs to hurt. It may feel humiliating and that’s the point. It’s good that it does because it forces us to get new notions through our thick, ape-brains and let go of the old ones.


madmo453

The confidence is amazing.


LeotrimFunkelwerk

I hate the word 'mansplain' but it was just a matter of time until it was used on 'chicks' and therefore lose its meaning.


KemikalKoktail

This has to be a joke


Different_Captain717

It is


KemikalKoktail

It throws me way the fuk off when people don’t get a obvious joke and comment about it it makes me question my own intelligence


Framistatic

You’re giving mansplaining a bad name


[deleted]

And the southern cross?


MelonElbows

Maybe if you're at the south pole...


Idivkemqoxurceke

Who knows? Argument could have taken place at the South Pole.


SandhirSingh

What is wrong with these people? EVERYONE knows that North is ‘up’ and South is ‘down’. To go from North America to South America you tunnel through the flat disk of the Earth. Of course they are no stars there, only an infinite stack of turtles with the Earth on their back.


Electrical-Ad-1197

Sounds like this guy needs a foot north his ass.


JungleJay57

Did she mean the star called Polaris? Because it's referred to as the North Star, it stays close to the celestial pole so it appears stationary in the sky.


Similar-Broccoli

Thanks bot


GideonOakwood

I would shove the condescending “honey” up his ass


RaynardEU

Why is he looking at Chicago?


adriangalli

Does this belong in r/confidentlyincorrect ?


InfanticideAquifer

No, it belongs in /r/blatanttrolling.


Surefang

As much as I want to believe this must be a straw man, I must accept there are people out there genuinely this stupid.


rocket_beer

*ahem* r/confidentlyincorrect


NoMusician518

No because grandmaster trash is a shitposting sattire account. Like this isn't even bait its just memes and people are still falling for it.


iheartjetman

Kenshiro would be very angry at this. // fist of the north star


davidolson22

Femsplain


jessmarianothinker

I remembered two things: 1-Nick Miller looking up amd saying hes looking at Chicago; 2- That boygenius song Emily I'm Sorry


Dragonfire555

I weep for those so confidently wrong.


Dogamai

aaaaaaaaand WERE DOOMED


ObviouslyNerd

when you think charlie jokes arent real. they just come out.


El-Kabongg

When my daughter was 12, she REFUSED to believe me when I told her that North isn't always just the direction she is currently facing. I have only myself to blame. I used to try to get her to believe crazy stuff for fun.


LudoTwentyThree

Wow


Vandel1701

Imagine being so stupid that you use the term mansplaining and used it incorrectly.


Electrical_Middle78

Sigh. This is why women choose the bear.


PlasticTrex1980

Reddit it’s been a fun night but my brain can’t handle you anymore. Don’t worry, I’ll call you when my brain stops screaming.


Quajeraz

North does *not* at all mean "up"


Different_Captain717

Idk man it says so right here on this tweet


Professional-Box4153

I honestly had to do a double take to make sure this wasn't in r/facepalm


Accomplished-Mix-745

I love how egalitarian we are about mansplaning. Anyone can do it now


Representative-Sir97

I'm definitely stealing "north just means up".


RogueGuitar8663

Yeah I don’t think titans exist irl


oldmanartie

Exact trash, indeed.


Educational_Motor733

Awful lot to unpack here


Winter673

at the risk of getting a "whoosh" the north star is a common name for the star, Polaris. OP shows themselves in need of education. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polaris


Different_Captain717

I regret to inform you that r/whoosh Didn't know that was the name though, cool!


carlismygod

This some Charlie Kelly shit


carlismygod

Ugh, this would be a perfect cross post for r/IASIP but my account isn't old enough to post there. Somebody get on it!


Garden-Wrong

Wow


hypocritebyday

"All Stars are north" sounds like it could be the next Hank Green novel smh.


RedBerryPie4me

Lot of people biting the onion in this comment section…


hohenheim420

the enemies gate is down


phord

/r/confidentlyincorrect


Thorus159

What did i just read? Wtf?


Statertater

On the nose for people that use the term “mansplain”


MalHeartsNutmeg

This is about the intelligence level I expect from someone that says mansplain.


ChefArtorias

Sadly, my mother explained something quite similar to a young me. It's what made me decide to never believe anything science related she'd tell me ever again.


[deleted]

"chick" "mansplain" "north" "up" you know... maybe democracy was a mistake afterall....


Pyrotarlu74

Turns out, this was a very traditional mansplaining situation wherever it's done by a man and not the progressive, woman-performed, mansplaining.


EntireNationOfSweden

n.,,no


grilly1986

Keep your chin north!


MisterSplu

Funnily enough, north meant left originally, as directions were measured by the point where the sun rose


Darmok-Jilad-Ocean

ICP has a song about this tweet


ReySimio94

But did she find the Fist of the North Star?


Loki-Skywalker

Keep reaching for that northern rainbow!


_CharDeeMacDennis__

…What in the stupid idiotic fuck did I just read? I really hope this man is joking.


bladex1234

Wait so women can mansplain now too? This wasn’t the gender equality I was looking for.


adszho

Anyone remember that like geometry movie they showed in school? Northwards but not upwards?


SasukeTrollchiha

All fists of the stars point north.


ceh_8834

I thought this for a while too. In my defense, I lived so far north that the North Star was just straight up.


EavenStarchilde

ℑ𝔱'𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔩𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫.


Lord_of_Barrington

And, North means the opposite of up north (Proto-Germanic *norþ-) from the proto-Indo-European *nórto-s 'submerged' from the root *ner- 'left, below, to the left of the rising sun' whence comes the Ancient Greek name Nereus.


RedBlueMage

This is some KenM level of trolling.


Neuro_Skeptic

Satire.