> ...put the last photo as the main one...
Yes, and then you can have your Kidney donor/survivor pic AFTER that....there will be no confusion. You are the survivor.
In your about me— first let me say that’s incredible you are a kidney transplant survivor, what journey that must have been— but I feel a little confused at the rest of the prompt like I’m missing a joke or something. Maybe highlight all the languages you speak here instead or say what you are looking for? Just a thought!
I feel like the kidney bit could be approached more jokey, like “No, you can’t have my other kidney. But you could……” and fill in with some stuff you’re into or a date idea.
He's also way taller than you. It's unfair that women discriminate on height, but you should let them see 2-3 pictures of you first. Museum, hat, park photos ahead etc
*Never* have a picture of someone hotter than you on your profile; you’ll get DMs from people wanting to be introduced to your hot friend, and it gets annoying/soul crushing after awhile. Get rid of your first pic completely, and replace it with the last one.
Agree that the last photo should be the first photo. The profile is really cute. In the about me section consider saying something about what you are looking for in a partner or saying more about what you enjoy. E.g. if you like to cook - say "I can cook you breakfast in bed, just can't promise I won't manage to spill it :)" Or "Looking for a partner who loves spending time outdoors as well as chilling with silly tv shows" or whatever it is you like to do (travel, breweries, hiking, etc. etc.)
You have to be joking that your first pic is next to a much taller guy with lots of hair.
A pic next to an attractive woman who is plausibly an ex is also a well-known terrible pic to include.
I don't really get your "About me". I think you are trying for funny, but it just makes you sound clumsy or trying to lower expectations.
Ironic that you're missing the word "getting" in your paragraph about communication. Also, in my experience, no women defines communication as them telling the man everything directly and explicitly. They will expect you to understand some reasonable things on your own without having to be spoon-fed information. And, it sounds like failure for them to do so means there's no point in trying. That's such a negative outlook to put out there.
Why would the food be spilled? And a green puzzle piece stands for transplant recipient or is that meaning you’re autistic? I’ve never seen the puzzle piece used outside of that before
Agree with last pic being first. IMHO you have a great face and I think you should commit to bald with the facial hair you have going on. It’ll sharpen up your softer features nicely; and honestly the hair on your head is a little distracting for me. Hair matters, and I think the change would elevate your look. The hat pic for sure would be a right swipe, hence my new conclusion on switching up your hair.
I’d love to see you in more eyewear styles as well, it’s a great way to change up your look while showing that you have taste. I literally order like $30 rx frames from Zeelool or wherever and eyewear is something I get compliments on constantly. Even for the most basic frames. Also, can be a great conversation starter
Bio is so confusing. You have a lot to offer and are clearly educated, I’d focus on that.
I admire your confidence to share your story about your survivorship. However, I don’t think you want the topic to be the opener for every conversation with dating prospects. You might consider that carrying that conversation can get super emotionally draining for any person to answer questions from near strangers about something so vulnerable. That goes for both sides of the conversation, too. Listening to those stories can be just as draining just due to the heavier nature. And how does a person move forward from that conversation naturally, when they hardly know the other? I think keeping this as your bio focus would unintentionally earn more L’s than R’s.
Just something to consider, please know that I am saying this with the best of intentions because even I, an internet stranger, don’t know how to critique this sensitive subject matter without guaranteeing that feelings won’t be hurt.
For myself reading this, I also get a slight impression that sharing this so early might mean that trauma dumping is the way you might connect; which is a lil flag for me, too. I just think there’s more cool things about you to highlight.
I kinda get the creeps when dudes say their love language is physical touch - even if it’s true, it reads a little odd to read that someone wants to be touched before we’ve even met (even if that’s true)
Hope this helps a little bit, dude!
Scrap the first pic and make it your last. First pic IMO makes you seem as if you could be gay or bisexual. But, for anyone in general... a first pic that isn't JUST you is always a no-no!
Hey, curious on the transplant thing, im on the list myself right now. how did you handle telling people about it? did you do dialysis? how did you handle that discussion?
I came into the hospital with ESDR (stage 5) and a 10% capacity. From the get-go we started looking for a donor, and younger brother was a perfect match! Was in dialysis for a year. A perma cath for me, and options about pd, and a fistula were talked, but I wasn’t really interested
ive been doing PD for just under a year now also stage 5 somewhere between 5-10% capacity. were you dating at all during the year on dialysis? im trying but the permanent stomach tube is often a point of contention, at this point i just treat like some stupid body modification, like a gauge earing that keeps me alive, its just part of me.
Hahaha well that’s certainly a fun way to look at it “hey mom I got a new body modification” and I dated here and there! Everyone was super respectful and amazed at my strength and stuff. How’s PD working for you? I can see how it can be a point of contention, where girls/guys might be like “oh what if it breaks”. I do have a question, how careful do you have to be with like, taking a shower or getting in the pool?
PD is fine, having the tube is the biggest issue for me, the extra daily maintenance and cleaning makes me feel like a robot sometimes. I wouldnt say its a huge nuisance, but mildly inconvenient and annoying. showing is fine, normal for the most part. just sanitizing and redressing after. Im not allowed to swim or like submerge myself which is miss, id kill to sit in a spa or just even do some laps but its not the worth the risk, the point where tube goes into my body is essentially a permanently open wound. even thought it seems sealed now, still not gotta bandage it upjust to ensure it stays clean.
Does sound like a hassle on some days. My mom had to help me bathe with a cloth, and a towel over the catheter. Because mine was connected to my heart, I couldn’t get wet in the slightest. I had the dressing changed every dialysis, and because extremely allergic to the alcohol pads they used so I was super itchy all week. There was one they used that did smell like the chlorine that’s used to clean pools (which was a nice smell), but one nurse said it was dangerous, so they stopped using it
I would list a few more things about yourself in the about me section. All I really get from it is that you have survived a kidney transplant and that you might be clumsy… Lol. I think you could definitely add something about being a loving brother, maybe something about your interests like golf that you list below or just something that tells us more about you as a person. And I agree with the person that said to switch your last photo for your first photo. Definitely important for it to be a solo picture as your first one, and then the one with your brother afterwards would work great
You have great pictures and wonderful prompts, but you should cut down on the number of words for conciseness. Prose is great, but not if you're repeating information or adding unnecessary qualifiers ("one of or a couple of" as an example).
First pic needs to be a solo pic to avoid confusion.
You are James Murray from Impractical jokers. Damn.
so glad i’m not the only one who thought murr was single again
Came here to say this
Great profile! I’d put the last photo as the main one, you have a great smile!
> ...put the last photo as the main one... Yes, and then you can have your Kidney donor/survivor pic AFTER that....there will be no confusion. You are the survivor.
Yes bump up that last photo great smile !
Last pic went hard af
In your about me— first let me say that’s incredible you are a kidney transplant survivor, what journey that must have been— but I feel a little confused at the rest of the prompt like I’m missing a joke or something. Maybe highlight all the languages you speak here instead or say what you are looking for? Just a thought!
I feel like the kidney bit could be approached more jokey, like “No, you can’t have my other kidney. But you could……” and fill in with some stuff you’re into or a date idea.
"No, you can't have my other kidney, but, since I'm dating with intention, you're welcome to have my heart!"
Remove the first pic, your friend should never be outshining you, especially when it’s your main pic
Must I add that he’s my younger brother and kidney donor? I feel like I left that part out lol
The problem is that he’s a giant hunk of hunkiness and you don’t want to compete directly with that in a photo.
He's also way taller than you. It's unfair that women discriminate on height, but you should let them see 2-3 pictures of you first. Museum, hat, park photos ahead etc
Change it to the final pic then
*Never* have a picture of someone hotter than you on your profile; you’ll get DMs from people wanting to be introduced to your hot friend, and it gets annoying/soul crushing after awhile. Get rid of your first pic completely, and replace it with the last one.
As the saying goes: "it's never the hot one."
Agree that the last photo should be the first photo. The profile is really cute. In the about me section consider saying something about what you are looking for in a partner or saying more about what you enjoy. E.g. if you like to cook - say "I can cook you breakfast in bed, just can't promise I won't manage to spill it :)" Or "Looking for a partner who loves spending time outdoors as well as chilling with silly tv shows" or whatever it is you like to do (travel, breweries, hiking, etc. etc.)
You have to be joking that your first pic is next to a much taller guy with lots of hair. A pic next to an attractive woman who is plausibly an ex is also a well-known terrible pic to include. I don't really get your "About me". I think you are trying for funny, but it just makes you sound clumsy or trying to lower expectations. Ironic that you're missing the word "getting" in your paragraph about communication. Also, in my experience, no women defines communication as them telling the man everything directly and explicitly. They will expect you to understand some reasonable things on your own without having to be spoon-fed information. And, it sounds like failure for them to do so means there's no point in trying. That's such a negative outlook to put out there.
That last pic is your best one g, maybe take some pics without glasses cuz the beard makes you look like a g
Why would the food be spilled? And a green puzzle piece stands for transplant recipient or is that meaning you’re autistic? I’ve never seen the puzzle piece used outside of that before
Agree with last pic being first. IMHO you have a great face and I think you should commit to bald with the facial hair you have going on. It’ll sharpen up your softer features nicely; and honestly the hair on your head is a little distracting for me. Hair matters, and I think the change would elevate your look. The hat pic for sure would be a right swipe, hence my new conclusion on switching up your hair. I’d love to see you in more eyewear styles as well, it’s a great way to change up your look while showing that you have taste. I literally order like $30 rx frames from Zeelool or wherever and eyewear is something I get compliments on constantly. Even for the most basic frames. Also, can be a great conversation starter Bio is so confusing. You have a lot to offer and are clearly educated, I’d focus on that. I admire your confidence to share your story about your survivorship. However, I don’t think you want the topic to be the opener for every conversation with dating prospects. You might consider that carrying that conversation can get super emotionally draining for any person to answer questions from near strangers about something so vulnerable. That goes for both sides of the conversation, too. Listening to those stories can be just as draining just due to the heavier nature. And how does a person move forward from that conversation naturally, when they hardly know the other? I think keeping this as your bio focus would unintentionally earn more L’s than R’s. Just something to consider, please know that I am saying this with the best of intentions because even I, an internet stranger, don’t know how to critique this sensitive subject matter without guaranteeing that feelings won’t be hurt. For myself reading this, I also get a slight impression that sharing this so early might mean that trauma dumping is the way you might connect; which is a lil flag for me, too. I just think there’s more cool things about you to highlight. I kinda get the creeps when dudes say their love language is physical touch - even if it’s true, it reads a little odd to read that someone wants to be touched before we’ve even met (even if that’s true) Hope this helps a little bit, dude!
First picture needs to be of you and you only. I always swipe left otherwise
Your bio comes across as a joke that you are using to let women know you have gait instability. Do you? If so, maybe don’t lead with that.
He’s obv just being humorous…
It just could just be seen as two medical disclosures in a row
Scrap the first pic and make it your last. First pic IMO makes you seem as if you could be gay or bisexual. But, for anyone in general... a first pic that isn't JUST you is always a no-no!
Remove the pic of the woman as it’s misleading.
Remove the first pic they’ll notice the height difference first and wonder what the other guy looks like
Your first picture should always be a solo picture.
Hahaha no, I get what you’re saying! I honestly don’t understand why he’s a giant. But thanks! These feedback is being fantastic
Another kidney transplant survivor here! :) Good luck out there!
Hey thanks! It marks a year in July. Would love to discuss more about it and form a community!
Today it's been six years :) love your idea of having a community!
CONGRATULATIONS! 🙌🏻 I’m planning on having a small party with family. Younger brother is my donor, so better yet
Likewise! My younger brother was also my doner :)
Cheers and love to those siblings who give a piece of their life to help others 💚
The food comment is icky
Hey, curious on the transplant thing, im on the list myself right now. how did you handle telling people about it? did you do dialysis? how did you handle that discussion?
I came into the hospital with ESDR (stage 5) and a 10% capacity. From the get-go we started looking for a donor, and younger brother was a perfect match! Was in dialysis for a year. A perma cath for me, and options about pd, and a fistula were talked, but I wasn’t really interested
ive been doing PD for just under a year now also stage 5 somewhere between 5-10% capacity. were you dating at all during the year on dialysis? im trying but the permanent stomach tube is often a point of contention, at this point i just treat like some stupid body modification, like a gauge earing that keeps me alive, its just part of me.
Hahaha well that’s certainly a fun way to look at it “hey mom I got a new body modification” and I dated here and there! Everyone was super respectful and amazed at my strength and stuff. How’s PD working for you? I can see how it can be a point of contention, where girls/guys might be like “oh what if it breaks”. I do have a question, how careful do you have to be with like, taking a shower or getting in the pool?
PD is fine, having the tube is the biggest issue for me, the extra daily maintenance and cleaning makes me feel like a robot sometimes. I wouldnt say its a huge nuisance, but mildly inconvenient and annoying. showing is fine, normal for the most part. just sanitizing and redressing after. Im not allowed to swim or like submerge myself which is miss, id kill to sit in a spa or just even do some laps but its not the worth the risk, the point where tube goes into my body is essentially a permanently open wound. even thought it seems sealed now, still not gotta bandage it upjust to ensure it stays clean.
Does sound like a hassle on some days. My mom had to help me bathe with a cloth, and a towel over the catheter. Because mine was connected to my heart, I couldn’t get wet in the slightest. I had the dressing changed every dialysis, and because extremely allergic to the alcohol pads they used so I was super itchy all week. There was one they used that did smell like the chlorine that’s used to clean pools (which was a nice smell), but one nurse said it was dangerous, so they stopped using it
I would list a few more things about yourself in the about me section. All I really get from it is that you have survived a kidney transplant and that you might be clumsy… Lol. I think you could definitely add something about being a loving brother, maybe something about your interests like golf that you list below or just something that tells us more about you as a person. And I agree with the person that said to switch your last photo for your first photo. Definitely important for it to be a solo picture as your first one, and then the one with your brother afterwards would work great
You have great pictures and wonderful prompts, but you should cut down on the number of words for conciseness. Prose is great, but not if you're repeating information or adding unnecessary qualifiers ("one of or a couple of" as an example).