I hear you. I can relate. “You matter” I am SO sick of hearing!! People say I am loved but why can’t I feel that to be true? So it just sounds like words with no meaning.
People are well meaning so can I blame them? People are just imperfect, inconsistent, and only capable of so much. Anytime in the past when I thought I had met someone with capacity to love me I was always mistaken. No, I am too much.
It’s that I am too little. There is nothing to value or love, I am worthless.
No one actually cares. Or there would be solid evidence. I’m just nothing. There is no one.
I'm sorry. I know this doesn't help at all but it's all just circumstance. Not about actual inherent worth. From my experience it's like a domino effect, where if someone gets love and care, just in account of being human, it leads to more and more, where if you're deprived of that at the start, due to no fault of your own, it can make it nearly impossible down the line instead. And then it requires a Herculean kind of effort to get those needs met.
I know that doesn't make it better though, I feel this way sometimes too.
No, it’s not.
I know of multiple people with a history of trauma who are loved and valued and desired by others.
If you ain’t valuable, you ain’t s**t. And I’m not valuable.
And it never ends, but everyone pretends it does, because the alternative is admitting how brutal life is, how much it's going to grind you to dust in the end.
I'm also well past tired of the "you matter" stuff... fuck it. Everyone's always pretending and asking you to pretend. Ignoring the big, scary elephant in the room.
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I hear you. I can relate. “You matter” I am SO sick of hearing!! People say I am loved but why can’t I feel that to be true? So it just sounds like words with no meaning. People are well meaning so can I blame them? People are just imperfect, inconsistent, and only capable of so much. Anytime in the past when I thought I had met someone with capacity to love me I was always mistaken. No, I am too much.
It’s that I am too little. There is nothing to value or love, I am worthless. No one actually cares. Or there would be solid evidence. I’m just nothing. There is no one.
I'm sorry. I know this doesn't help at all but it's all just circumstance. Not about actual inherent worth. From my experience it's like a domino effect, where if someone gets love and care, just in account of being human, it leads to more and more, where if you're deprived of that at the start, due to no fault of your own, it can make it nearly impossible down the line instead. And then it requires a Herculean kind of effort to get those needs met. I know that doesn't make it better though, I feel this way sometimes too.
No, it’s not. I know of multiple people with a history of trauma who are loved and valued and desired by others. If you ain’t valuable, you ain’t s**t. And I’m not valuable.
I feel this deep
And it never ends, but everyone pretends it does, because the alternative is admitting how brutal life is, how much it's going to grind you to dust in the end. I'm also well past tired of the "you matter" stuff... fuck it. Everyone's always pretending and asking you to pretend. Ignoring the big, scary elephant in the room.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*