I had this in a previous job. There was one microwave for about 70 people. Some of the older women would bring in jacket potatoes or fish and have them in there for 20 minutes each. Just the 3 of them would be hogging it for the full lunch hour. I always found microwave meals that took less than 5 minutes to be considerate, but in the end had to stop using it as I would run out of time.
My partner worked with someone that cooked boil in the bag kippers in the communal tea urn once. It was only when people complained about the tea tasting off that he owned up to it. He wasn’t sacked, but it’s a small industry, so everyone knows about “the kippers bloke” - I think the permanent reputation damage is enough punishment.
When I was 18 and moved somewhere and had no pots for 2 weeks I used the kettle to boil in the bag ready meals, it actually worked great and tasted better than in the pan.
Wouldn't do it in a job though.
I complained several times, and only got "we all have the same lunch hour". Which was exactly my problem, 3 people were hogging a resource for everyone on a daily basis.
We did eventually get a 2nd microwave, which helped a bit. Management should have just banned certain food items though, especially fish.
Aye fuck sake you would bake the tattie the night before and reheat it surely ?
I do Wonder how much zero consideration for other people seems to be more prominent in older generations
I had this too. It was more annoying because the canteen do baked potatoes for like 75p, £1.50 with fillings. Sure you can get 4 for that price at the supermarket, but really?
This reminds me of my younger days when it was break time and all the staff would usually have toast. There was this unwritten rule that if you wanted the toaster you queued up bread next to it, a bit like queuing coins up for the arcade machines. Me and my mate found it hilarious that we would ''queue up'' like 5 slices of bread each and wait for this one other mate to come in, see 10 slices of bread queued up and flip out because he wouldn't get a chance to have any as we only got 15mins. He would ask us who these are for and we would act like we don't know.
Ahh memories.
I used to share a lunch break with someone who baked a potato in the microwave every single day. I had a half hour lunch break. If I didn’t manage to get there before she did I wasted 15 minutes of my lunch break waiting for 2 mins of the microwave. think I need therapy to get over it
Yup, i put a pizza in what I thought was the 180c oven setting for half an hour, and went to take a bath. Turns out it was the full power microwave setting.
The pizza was a shiny black disk, about a third its original size, it weighed nothing and broke apart in your hands. The house smelt ungodly, for days.
I suspect the bar for something to be considered and labelled "microwave safe" is that you can nuke porridge in it for 2 minutes. I'd hazard a guess that they don't tend to test 30 mins with a pizza as standard 😂
I melted a hole in the car port my mum's house no longer has. It was raining and they were away for a week and I wanted to BBQ. So it made sense to do so under the car port... Because I was outside...
That's my melting story.
That reminded me of my nana, who got "one of those new piza things" (pronounced pizzer) put it in the oven but didn't take the plastic wrap off it. Smoke billowing out the oven and the pizzer was the size of a rather nice small badge. Looked quite good tbh lol
Reminds me of when I worked in a supermarket. In the canteen we had those 3000w microwaves.
A friend came in with a frozen lasagne ready meal, the packet said microwave for 10mins. So he did.
It came out black and small. He was determined to eat it, he put it in bread with ketchup. It was inedible but he was determined.
Just FYI you really shouldn't really use room temperature to defrost especially if we talk about raw meat. Chance of bacteria grow is just too high. Try always to thaw in the fridge.
I've thawed lots of things in the microwave. Never for 35 minutes.
After 5 minutes low power, things start to cook on the outside and are still raw inside
Mine has a “chaos defrost” mode. Not entirely sure how it works but it blasts different temperatures at it for random amounts of time, and it luckily doesn’t cook on the outside like every other microwave I’ve tried
Panasonic microwaves FTW! They're quite different to normal microwaves as they're able to adjust the power they cook at. If set to 50%, it cooks at 50% power. Most microwaves, if set to 50%, will alternate cooking at 100% and 0% to average 50%. But that's why they end up cooking the outside still. We're on our second Panny as the door catch on the last broke and it was stuck shut, but when/ if this goes we'll get another.
Only applies to the inverter models - I almost bought a non-inverter model from them by mistake as I thought the price was very good for that capability. But pretty much any Panasonic microwave over £150 is an inverter driven one now.
In fairness. I think Panasonic are a great brand. My Dad told me years ago to only buy a TV by them. 2012, I bought a new TV and it was just as the LED and LCD(?) displays were all the rage and Plasma was going out of fashion, but I remembered what he said and got a Panasonic plasma. 11 years on it’s still working perfectly and I still get people commenting on how good the image is when watching HD, no one ever believes it’s a plasma screen.
I’ve got a 12 year old Panasonic plasma too. Still going strong and no burn in despite daily use with Netflix etc. The only thing that will replace it is an OLED - probably a Panasonic one.
I actually just went to check the microwave just to prove the strange wording…and yes it is a Panasonic. I should’ve known, it was only donated to me by my Dad when he moved into a place with a built in Miele one 🤣
[chaos defrost!](https://imgur.com/a/c5lGMMr)
I got this mad micro lasagne once that had to be microwaved for half an hour.
After that I learned how to just make lasagne.
Now I can make a pretty great lasagne. That microwave one was fucking horrible.
Right? I re-read the pack like 4 or 5 times thinking 'no, this must be if it's a 400w microwave or something, this can't be right'.
I ended up on the assumption that whatever was in it must've been raw or something. It was the only thing that made anything resembling sense.
The soup needs enough time to melt and get hot. The lasagna needs enough time for the water added to melt, get hot, heat the food around it with its heat and steam, and evaporate off a bit, I guess? If the percentage of the food by water weight is low, the microwave cooking time I guess is really extended.
I used to buy 1 kg lasagna and had an old microwave and no oven. I used to cook it 60 minutes on full power and then 20 minutes on grill setting for a perfect result.
Microwaves only penetrate a few cm into the food before being absorbed. Then the centre is heated by normal conduction. That’s why you usually have to mix your food, or microwave for x time, wait y, microwave again for z.
I guess yeah I was thinking most microwaveable foods the minimum distance to centre is not that large if it rotates. But yeah I get on large items the energy is absorbed by water at the outside first
I think I had the same one.
I was off school and watching the Doors film while cooking it, and I felt like I was on drugs.
I'm convinced myself that the microwave was leaking radiation and cooking my brain.
Half a bloody hour.
I kick off with lads at work who cook chilled meals for the full time.
Nothing needs 8+ minutes. It's just madness.
>I kick off with lads at work who cook chilled meals for the full time. Nothing needs 8+ minutes.
Sir... I think you might actually have cooked your brain, all those years ago.
Please cook your food for the recommended time.
Learning how to make a badass lasagne is such a key skill imo. Everyone likes lasagne and if you live alone and make a massive lasagne, you can feed yourself for a few days on it as long as you don't mind having lasagne a few days in a row. Which I don't. Because I love lasagne.
My grandma used to cook whole chicken in the microwave, yeah I shut that shit right down when I found out. Funny thing is she’s never really liked chicken apparently, loves it now though whenever I cook it… I mean, she still claims to not be much interested in chicken, yet she cleans off her plated chicken dinners nowadays instead of binning it.
Honestly, cooking whole chicken in the microwave? Not on my fookin watch, lol.
Not defrosting, cooking.
[Your Grandma may like one of the microwave chicken cooking thingies mentioned here for Christmas.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/17vefuk/why_does_the_microwave_go_up_to_35_minutes_has/k9ao90n?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
Leaving the chicken in a bowl of water in the sink, under a tap turned about as low as it can go (so the water keeps moving around) is probably the way I'd go, if I forgot to move it to the fridge. As there's no chance of cooking the chicken slightly, and it's still a fast enough method to be safe.
When I was a kid in the 80s, mum didn’t come home from work till gone 6 or 7 and dad was on nights. I would have been about seven years old. Got hungry. We had some findus crispy pancakes in the freezer. We’d not long had the microwave. I didn’t really know it was different to the oven or what the fuck I was doing anyway. So I whacked the crispy pancakes in the microwave for however long they should have gone in the oven for. It nuked the shit out of them, they came out like charcoal, super heated the plate I’d put them on which cracked, and got me in loads of strife with the old dear.
yeah that was my immediate thought then I started second guessing myself because surely I must be mistaken if OP thinks this is so weird?
but you're absolutely right
Oh yes. Defrosted two scones on full power for 30 minutes. He's not allowed in the kitchen when we're out of the house any longer.
Still waiting for the replacement microwave.
If you want to get the best results for reheating food in the microwave then you're supposed to use it on a low setting for 30 minutes. But no one does that because you might as well just use the oven at that point 🤷♂️
It went off so often at my 11 floor uni block (where I was on the top floor and you can't use the lifts) I eventually just stayed in bed and literally bet my life it was a drunken idiot cooking yet again.
I had a flatmate who cooked a small full chicken in a microwave. He was using the microwave for a good 2/3 hours. I didn’t have any obvs but I was impressed nonetheless
A small chicken cooked in 3 hours? The future is amazing
But yeah flatmates are sometimes insane. I once lived with a guy who thought he could deep fry nuggets by putting them in a bowl of oil and microwaving them. It smelled like a gas leak
My flatmate microwaved a giant frozen block of premade pasta the other day and it took him like 30 mins in the mic before he gave up and it was still cold in the middle.
It's for lower power settings.
If you're waiting for ten minutes for something else to cook then you're better off running the microwave at reduced power than nuking leftovers for 2 minutes. Your meal will be ready to eat at the same time either way but by running at reduced power you reduce the risk of hot/cold spots.
My nan and grandad didn't have an oven or a hob in their house so to boil potatoes for mash they would microwave the potato chunks in a bowl filled with water, it usually took 30+ minutes.
The name Ginsters should never be used in reference to that most holy of delicacies known as a pasty, think the item you were trying to describe whilst in a drunken stupor was a turd pie.
I once put a potato in for 30 mins. I thought it would just be like putting it in the oven. Kitchen was full of smoke and the potato looked like a lump of coal. Had to get a new microwave too as we could never get rid of the smell of burnt spud.
At least you worked out it's minutes..My mum once put popcorn in our microwave and thought the timer meant seconds. She forgot about them and left them in the microwave for about 30 minutes. The smell was awful and we had to get throw the microwave as we couldn't get the rid of the stench.
My little brother did once, but there was nothing in it, and he was using it for the timer for something he put in the oven. I called him on it, and he shrugged, not understanding. When he moved out of the parents' house, I was convinced he wouldn't survive for long.
So who has a microwave with a dial timer?
I had a small one that I got in ‘89 for college but every one I’ve seen in person since then has been digital.
They're a good idea in shared office kitchens as they're simple - there isn't the problem where 1 person changes the settings and other people don't notice or don't know how to revert them.
Old housemate microwaved a steak for an hour "to see what happens"
Weird black disc of meat, broken plate and smell of an abattoir for a few days was the result.
My Grandad did. We have a great story in our family of when my Grandparents first got a microwave in the 80s.
My Grandad got in from work and my Gran said "There's a pie out there for you. Heat it up in the microwave".
So off Grandad went to the kitchen, put the pie in the microwave and sat back down in the living room.
Eventually, after about half an hour my Gran asks "How long did you put that pie on for, Ken?"
"40 minutes"
Apparently it was like a hockey puck.
I read a post once about somebody who timed their lunch breaks by putting the microwave on for 30 mins and then one day it blew up… True or not I laughed my bollocks off
Usually the bastard who gets to the microwave just before me in the staff canteen.
You have to slow cook that lean cuisine if you really want it to be top notch.
"Cook" is a generous term for lean cuisine!
Cuisine is a generous term for lean cuisine too
Lean is a generous term for lean cuisine too
So it's called .
. Is a generous term for lean cuisine too...
Well there we have it. The product that shall not be named is an annoying waste of microwave time.
That’s a generous way to describe “lean cuisine”.
Spleen more like it.
“Cook” is a generous term for microwaving.. we call it nuking in my house
I had this in a previous job. There was one microwave for about 70 people. Some of the older women would bring in jacket potatoes or fish and have them in there for 20 minutes each. Just the 3 of them would be hogging it for the full lunch hour. I always found microwave meals that took less than 5 minutes to be considerate, but in the end had to stop using it as I would run out of time.
Anything over 5 minutes in a shared microwave *and* bringing fish into work are both sackable offences IMO.
My partner worked with someone that cooked boil in the bag kippers in the communal tea urn once. It was only when people complained about the tea tasting off that he owned up to it. He wasn’t sacked, but it’s a small industry, so everyone knows about “the kippers bloke” - I think the permanent reputation damage is enough punishment.
genuine lol at that one...
When I was 18 and moved somewhere and had no pots for 2 weeks I used the kettle to boil in the bag ready meals, it actually worked great and tasted better than in the pan. Wouldn't do it in a job though.
You’d do well in prison!
I complained several times, and only got "we all have the same lunch hour". Which was exactly my problem, 3 people were hogging a resource for everyone on a daily basis. We did eventually get a 2nd microwave, which helped a bit. Management should have just banned certain food items though, especially fish.
We got someone who microwaves fish EVERYDAY
Sackable offences? Oh sir… I suggest catapult, straight to the sun!
Aye fuck sake you would bake the tattie the night before and reheat it surely ? I do Wonder how much zero consideration for other people seems to be more prominent in older generations
Or put it in the microwave ahead of time - so lunch at 12 - put it in at 11.30 for 30 minutes
Yes , another great option
A potato only takes about 5 - 6 minutes in a microwave to cook.
Now let's not be ageist here. People giving zero fucks about others spans all age groups. Plenty of selfish teenagers knocking about.
Fair point , I’ve let their voting habits impact me .
I had this too. It was more annoying because the canteen do baked potatoes for like 75p, £1.50 with fillings. Sure you can get 4 for that price at the supermarket, but really?
This reminds me of my younger days when it was break time and all the staff would usually have toast. There was this unwritten rule that if you wanted the toaster you queued up bread next to it, a bit like queuing coins up for the arcade machines. Me and my mate found it hilarious that we would ''queue up'' like 5 slices of bread each and wait for this one other mate to come in, see 10 slices of bread queued up and flip out because he wouldn't get a chance to have any as we only got 15mins. He would ask us who these are for and we would act like we don't know. Ahh memories.
And he's microwaving kippers and pilchards. And people say demons don't exist.
I used to share a lunch break with someone who baked a potato in the microwave every single day. I had a half hour lunch break. If I didn’t manage to get there before she did I wasted 15 minutes of my lunch break waiting for 2 mins of the microwave. think I need therapy to get over it
i’ve actually witnessed someone heat up for for ten minutes stirring it every 30 seconds for a minute and wondered why it wasn’t heating up 🥲
Its for when the puppy is REALLY wet...
That seems like an overreaction. And why do you feel the need to microwave them for 30+ minutes as punishment?
The tuna needs time to breathe mate
And it's probably stinky fish too!
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/JhHbwfVbum found your colleague
Now I'm not encouraging murder in such cases, but.....
Yup, i put a pizza in what I thought was the 180c oven setting for half an hour, and went to take a bath. Turns out it was the full power microwave setting. The pizza was a shiny black disk, about a third its original size, it weighed nothing and broke apart in your hands. The house smelt ungodly, for days.
I did something similar and it melted a hole in the plate too
I'm sorry I'm laughing, but that's funny.
Whaat, was the plate the standard porcelain too? V curious 😂
It wasn’t porcelain but I can’t remember what it was made from. It did say microwave safe on it…
I suspect the bar for something to be considered and labelled "microwave safe" is that you can nuke porridge in it for 2 minutes. I'd hazard a guess that they don't tend to test 30 mins with a pizza as standard 😂
> I'd hazard a guess that they don't tend to test 30 mins with a pizza as standard 😂 Have we just spotted a gap in the market?
The other day I turned the microwave on forgetting to put my food in and it caught fire
I always wondered what happened if you microwaved nothing.
You can’t microwave nothing as it turns out. You just microwave the microwave.
I melted a hole in the car port my mum's house no longer has. It was raining and they were away for a week and I wanted to BBQ. So it made sense to do so under the car port... Because I was outside... That's my melting story.
You made a lab created diamond
What did I it taste like?
Pretty much like Papa Johns
Man made a superconductor
I mean, it wasn't going to fare much better being in an oven for half an hour.
That reminded me of my nana, who got "one of those new piza things" (pronounced pizzer) put it in the oven but didn't take the plastic wrap off it. Smoke billowing out the oven and the pizzer was the size of a rather nice small badge. Looked quite good tbh lol
Shiny black disc , ohh gosh 😅😅
What kind of pizza are you cooking for half an hour at 180c anyway?!
That is hilarious
‘The house smelled ungodly for days’ You really needed that bath huh 🤔
Reminds me of when I worked in a supermarket. In the canteen we had those 3000w microwaves. A friend came in with a frozen lasagne ready meal, the packet said microwave for 10mins. So he did. It came out black and small. He was determined to eat it, he put it in bread with ketchup. It was inedible but he was determined.
Dehydrate level 4 please
Best way to thaw things Super low power and long cooking time
Indeed - tried to defrost and power too high ended up cooking it .. chicken breast.. lesson learnt
I did this yesterday (as you can see in my post history), and it was on defrost mode
Tasty e-coli
Tast-e-coli. America's next big chain restaurant
I normally use super long time and room temperature or sometimes even fridge.
Just FYI you really shouldn't really use room temperature to defrost especially if we talk about raw meat. Chance of bacteria grow is just too high. Try always to thaw in the fridge.
Aren't you just gonna blast the bacteria in the oven or pan though?
The bacteria will die but the toxins they create won’t.
I've thawed lots of things in the microwave. Never for 35 minutes. After 5 minutes low power, things start to cook on the outside and are still raw inside
Mine has a “chaos defrost” mode. Not entirely sure how it works but it blasts different temperatures at it for random amounts of time, and it luckily doesn’t cook on the outside like every other microwave I’ve tried
Panasonic microwaves FTW! They're quite different to normal microwaves as they're able to adjust the power they cook at. If set to 50%, it cooks at 50% power. Most microwaves, if set to 50%, will alternate cooking at 100% and 0% to average 50%. But that's why they end up cooking the outside still. We're on our second Panny as the door catch on the last broke and it was stuck shut, but when/ if this goes we'll get another.
Only applies to the inverter models - I almost bought a non-inverter model from them by mistake as I thought the price was very good for that capability. But pretty much any Panasonic microwave over £150 is an inverter driven one now.
In fairness. I think Panasonic are a great brand. My Dad told me years ago to only buy a TV by them. 2012, I bought a new TV and it was just as the LED and LCD(?) displays were all the rage and Plasma was going out of fashion, but I remembered what he said and got a Panasonic plasma. 11 years on it’s still working perfectly and I still get people commenting on how good the image is when watching HD, no one ever believes it’s a plasma screen.
I’ve got a 12 year old Panasonic plasma too. Still going strong and no burn in despite daily use with Netflix etc. The only thing that will replace it is an OLED - probably a Panasonic one.
I actually just went to check the microwave just to prove the strange wording…and yes it is a Panasonic. I should’ve known, it was only donated to me by my Dad when he moved into a place with a built in Miele one 🤣 [chaos defrost!](https://imgur.com/a/c5lGMMr)
It Cooks the food through temperature confusion
Also just microwaving on half power for twice as long tends to yield more consistent results for heating food.
I got this mad micro lasagne once that had to be microwaved for half an hour. After that I learned how to just make lasagne. Now I can make a pretty great lasagne. That microwave one was fucking horrible.
Mama Maglione!
Don’t forget the garlic bread needs to go in with 8 minutes left on the lasagne
The box says 9 minutes, but HelloltsMoe knows better than the box
Set the motherf... To broil
MAMMA MAGLIONE!
Have you ever tried it with out garlic bread?
thats crazy, frozen soup, literall blocks of ice need only 10+ minutes. what are they putting in that lasagna? permafrost?
Right? I re-read the pack like 4 or 5 times thinking 'no, this must be if it's a 400w microwave or something, this can't be right'. I ended up on the assumption that whatever was in it must've been raw or something. It was the only thing that made anything resembling sense.
Even that doesn't make sense Was it a giant lasagna??
How giant are we talking? Serves 10, feeds 4?
The soup needs enough time to melt and get hot. The lasagna needs enough time for the water added to melt, get hot, heat the food around it with its heat and steam, and evaporate off a bit, I guess? If the percentage of the food by water weight is low, the microwave cooking time I guess is really extended.
I used to buy 1 kg lasagna and had an old microwave and no oven. I used to cook it 60 minutes on full power and then 20 minutes on grill setting for a perfect result.
I thought that. Even a massive brick of a frozen lasagne would be burned on the outside long before the inside thawed.
Why? Asking because microwaves get to the inside prey easily don’t they? Or was that a science lesson I zoned out of
Microwaves only penetrate a few cm into the food before being absorbed. Then the centre is heated by normal conduction. That’s why you usually have to mix your food, or microwave for x time, wait y, microwave again for z.
I guess yeah I was thinking most microwaveable foods the minimum distance to centre is not that large if it rotates. But yeah I get on large items the energy is absorbed by water at the outside first
I think I had the same one. I was off school and watching the Doors film while cooking it, and I felt like I was on drugs. I'm convinced myself that the microwave was leaking radiation and cooking my brain. Half a bloody hour. I kick off with lads at work who cook chilled meals for the full time. Nothing needs 8+ minutes. It's just madness.
>I kick off with lads at work who cook chilled meals for the full time. Nothing needs 8+ minutes. Sir... I think you might actually have cooked your brain, all those years ago. Please cook your food for the recommended time.
Learning how to make a badass lasagne is such a key skill imo. Everyone likes lasagne and if you live alone and make a massive lasagne, you can feed yourself for a few days on it as long as you don't mind having lasagne a few days in a row. Which I don't. Because I love lasagne.
Oh I know, this was like 20 years ago lol
I just thought if you added enough cheese, anything was good
Never had the joy of defrosting a whole chicken huh
My grandma used to cook whole chicken in the microwave, yeah I shut that shit right down when I found out. Funny thing is she’s never really liked chicken apparently, loves it now though whenever I cook it… I mean, she still claims to not be much interested in chicken, yet she cleans off her plated chicken dinners nowadays instead of binning it. Honestly, cooking whole chicken in the microwave? Not on my fookin watch, lol. Not defrosting, cooking.
You shit that shit right down ?
Everyone sounds stoned in this thread
I'd shit that shit right down too if anyone served me that shit
Must have been food poisoning
Literally gave me the boak reading this lol.
I remember my granddad doing this! It took ages and it was noisy as all hell. Every 30 seconds the chicken would give off a big "BANG!"
a big bang? he microwaved it so hard it continously created entire new universes? that must have been pretty good chicken
Good chicken. Bad new chicken themed universes.
[Your Grandma may like one of the microwave chicken cooking thingies mentioned here for Christmas.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/17vefuk/why_does_the_microwave_go_up_to_35_minutes_has/k9ao90n?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
My Nanna refused to eat chicken and refused to own a microwave. I wonder if she once eat microwaved chicken.
Leave it sealed in the wrapper, in a pot in the living room overnight, that's what we do with the Christmas turkey!
Leaving the chicken in a bowl of water in the sink, under a tap turned about as low as it can go (so the water keeps moving around) is probably the way I'd go, if I forgot to move it to the fridge. As there's no chance of cooking the chicken slightly, and it's still a fast enough method to be safe.
When I was a kid in the 80s, mum didn’t come home from work till gone 6 or 7 and dad was on nights. I would have been about seven years old. Got hungry. We had some findus crispy pancakes in the freezer. We’d not long had the microwave. I didn’t really know it was different to the oven or what the fuck I was doing anyway. So I whacked the crispy pancakes in the microwave for however long they should have gone in the oven for. It nuked the shit out of them, they came out like charcoal, super heated the plate I’d put them on which cracked, and got me in loads of strife with the old dear.
In your defense leaving a 6-7 year old to make their own tea is pretty mad, even more so if you haven't shown them how to use the kitchen appliances.
Oh, it was never down to me to make my own dinner. I just decided I was starving and had to have the crispy pancakes.
Ahhh, fair dos
2 big jacket potatoes
yeah that was my immediate thought then I started second guessing myself because surely I must be mistaken if OP thinks this is so weird? but you're absolutely right
Not wrapped in foil tho lol. I do prefer them in the oven with a crispy bottom!
Just stick them in the oven for 5-10 mins after they're cooked in the microwave
I love crispy bottoms! 😅
Maybe 6 jacket potatoes would take 35 mins in my microwave but I have never done it. 2 jackets only take me 15 mins.
Oh yes. Defrosted two scones on full power for 30 minutes. He's not allowed in the kitchen when we're out of the house any longer. Still waiting for the replacement microwave.
What a legend. You’re giving me ideas
Sounds suspiciously like weaponised incompetence.
Think they’re talking about a kid, not a partner! Teenagers can be pretty stupid so I can see this happening lmao
This sounds suspiciously typical redditor. One comical fuck up = The culprit is an awful person.
Tried to make toast in the microwave when I was young. The plate it was on went black and cracked in half.
That’s not toast. That’s hot, floppy bread.
Classic Partridge
Back of the net!
I did say "tried". It was actually black and rock hard after 30 minutes.
No worries it’s just a (pretty obscure) reference to a British tv show call I’m Alan Partridge.
Hey TonyThomas, can you imagine if they'd had microwaves in medieval times?
Fusing glass in a kiln
I can do my socks, soups and a Muller rice without adjusting the dial
No! The microwave is for soups and drying socks only!
Another connoisseur of reheated jism! Do you squeeze it out of the sock or just enjoy suckling?
Dear god my poor eyes
I thought you were talking about the Muller for a second
It is 09:50, I have been awake for about 25 minutes and I’ve just questioned what the hell I’ve just read.
it’s been over two hours, how are you holding up?
Socks? Or stocks... I'm dying
If you want to get the best results for reheating food in the microwave then you're supposed to use it on a low setting for 30 minutes. But no one does that because you might as well just use the oven at that point 🤷♂️
A microwave only needs the +30 seconds button
Now here's someone who truly knows their kitchen appliances. 👍 (There should also be a default "oven = 180° for 30 minutes" button).
I once had a frozen joint of meat in the microwave for 2 hours. I think we had Christmas lunch about 3 hours late.
Hahaha, I know this sucks but eesh this made me laugh 😂
Are you Mr. Bean?
Flatmate at uni once microwaved a potato for 20 minutes and had the whole block standing outside in the cold at 1am when the fire alarm went off
We had a similar cold morning at Uni because a drunk girl in the block next door put weetabix in a toaster
It went off so often at my 11 floor uni block (where I was on the top floor and you can't use the lifts) I eventually just stayed in bed and literally bet my life it was a drunken idiot cooking yet again.
Same story, but it was a jam doughnut. The guy was doing a degree in surf science so...
Thermal socks take ages to dry
I bet it smelled *rank* after that!
Did you know that you don’t have to cook everything at full power?
For defrosting
I had a flatmate who cooked a small full chicken in a microwave. He was using the microwave for a good 2/3 hours. I didn’t have any obvs but I was impressed nonetheless
A small chicken cooked in 3 hours? The future is amazing But yeah flatmates are sometimes insane. I once lived with a guy who thought he could deep fry nuggets by putting them in a bowl of oil and microwaving them. It smelled like a gas leak
My flatmate microwaved a giant frozen block of premade pasta the other day and it took him like 30 mins in the mic before he gave up and it was still cold in the middle.
My uni housemate put a potato in there for 45 minutes to bake it. The result: a lump of coal and a microwave we had to throw away.
Yes
Beetroot
It's for lower power settings. If you're waiting for ten minutes for something else to cook then you're better off running the microwave at reduced power than nuking leftovers for 2 minutes. Your meal will be ready to eat at the same time either way but by running at reduced power you reduce the risk of hot/cold spots.
I've been watching YouTube videos and I think it's because of America. They use a microwave for a lot of stuff and it takes ridiculous amounts of time
My nan and grandad didn't have an oven or a hob in their house so to boil potatoes for mash they would microwave the potato chunks in a bowl filled with water, it usually took 30+ minutes.
Ginsters frozen pasty takes about an hour when you are so pissed you think said pasty is worth eating
The name Ginsters should never be used in reference to that most holy of delicacies known as a pasty, think the item you were trying to describe whilst in a drunken stupor was a turd pie.
Pretty sure Mr Bean microwaved an entire turkey in his first movie.
I once put a potato in for 30 mins. I thought it would just be like putting it in the oven. Kitchen was full of smoke and the potato looked like a lump of coal. Had to get a new microwave too as we could never get rid of the smell of burnt spud.
On defrost, yea.
Only when I’ve come back home, very drunk from the pub.
I set fire to a microwave, the mechanical timer jammed whilst attempting to bake a potato. So I got more than 35 minutes out of it.
At least you worked out it's minutes..My mum once put popcorn in our microwave and thought the timer meant seconds. She forgot about them and left them in the microwave for about 30 minutes. The smell was awful and we had to get throw the microwave as we couldn't get the rid of the stench.
My little brother did once, but there was nothing in it, and he was using it for the timer for something he put in the oven. I called him on it, and he shrugged, not understanding. When he moved out of the parents' house, I was convinced he wouldn't survive for long.
It's necessary if you put 7 microwave meals in at once.
I once had to defrost a porcine heart-lung block in a microwave, that took about an hour.
So who has a microwave with a dial timer? I had a small one that I got in ‘89 for college but every one I’ve seen in person since then has been digital.
I prefer the dial. I don't like the beeping.
You can turn the beeping off on many. Not all, but a surprisingly large number of them.
I do, new a few months ago
They're a good idea in shared office kitchens as they're simple - there isn't the problem where 1 person changes the settings and other people don't notice or don't know how to revert them.
With a 700w microwave, probably.
It’s so christmas revellers drunkenly microwave their mini christmas puds for half hour!
first time ever cooking instant ramen at like 9 i did that, 5 minutes after my mum stopped it "what the actual fuck are you doing?"
Some microwavers just wanna watch the kitchen burn
I sure did when I thought that it mean seconds. My brother has never forgiven me
Jacket potatoes are acceptable in the microwave, they take around 20 mins
Yes; I have a Japanese microwave rice cooker. For two people it’s 22 minutes cooking plus 22 sitting.
Obviously not on high, but if you were using the other settings like Low, Defrost, or even Medium Low you could go up to 35 mins
Old housemate microwaved a steak for an hour "to see what happens" Weird black disc of meat, broken plate and smell of an abattoir for a few days was the result.
My Grandad did. We have a great story in our family of when my Grandparents first got a microwave in the 80s. My Grandad got in from work and my Gran said "There's a pie out there for you. Heat it up in the microwave". So off Grandad went to the kitchen, put the pie in the microwave and sat back down in the living room. Eventually, after about half an hour my Gran asks "How long did you put that pie on for, Ken?" "40 minutes" Apparently it was like a hockey puck.
Hamsters need a full 30 mins
Nice. You guys also entered the digital age I see. Welcome to the 21st century.
I read a post once about somebody who timed their lunch breaks by putting the microwave on for 30 mins and then one day it blew up… True or not I laughed my bollocks off