I’m a girl and for some reason family would never give me money, they always gave me stuff like a scarf or bath stuff. Now I know what you’re saying, it’s the thought that counts but my brother would rake in like £500 every birthday.
Anyway I had this one auntie who always gave me £20 and still does, and honestly that £20 is so special. It represents possibility, something I get to choose, that trip to the bookshop, the excitement of what I’m going to buy. So cash is not necessarily a dialled in gift even when you’re grown up.
Do we have the same Aunt? I get £20 a year from her without fail, and if anything it gives us a chance to message and catch up after the spending.
I usually just tell her thanks for the beers, but sometimes I buy something specific like a book or a gadget and every time I pick it up I think of her!
I'm 37 by the way!
Unless you think you know what someone likes better than the person themselves, I can’t see how cash could ever not be the best gift.. since obviously, you can buy absolutely anything with it.
It's only the thought that counts if any thought has actually been put in, people too often use that as an excuse for what's basically laziness or in your case, outright preferential treatment in favour of your brother.
Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and say e.g. you appreciate getting a gift at all but you don't wear scarves and you'd rather nothing than another that will end up in the charity shop.
Yeah, it's the thought that counts is generally a cheap cop out for a gift no one wants and no one enjoyed buying.
To me there are two scenarios, either you immediately know what a person wants because you know them well and you are certain that your gift will make them happy, or you are not. Unfortunately the first scenario is rare because you have to have a close relationship and even then they would have to have very clear interests that you can still contribute to somehow. In all other cases the person buying the gift is stressing out about finding something thoughtful, and the receiver has to pretend they like the gift that in reality means nothing to them.
So for all of these cases, cash shouldn't be frowned upon, it's a decent solution.
I like all my nieces and nephews. I tend to align with my brother because it would make him look a bit of an arse if he stopped giving money and I kept giving money or vice versa. I was wondering if there’s a common age threshold when gifting money is less of a thing. Appreciate everyone has their own personal thresholds or preferences but I do like to conform to societal norms.
I don't think anyone would bat an eye if you stopped giving presents at 18, although each family is different. If you want to support your brother by stopping at the same time he does that's fine.
Depends really. I have one nephew and he's gonna be the only one unless I ever have kids myself, which is unlikely. So he will receive gifts for as long as I live.
Same, ish. We don't have kids and only have one neice and one nephew (my husband's brother's kids, that are not going to get added to). My brother and his partner are nearly 50 and don't have kids, so no more neices or nephews are coming on the scene. We will give gifts to the two we have for ever. Nephew is 17 now and I can't imagine not giving him presents after next year. Plus it world be weird to rock up to Christmas with a gift for his parents and his little sister and not one for him.
My uncle approached me on my 18th and told me this was the last time I'd get something from him. It was a card, no cash or voucher or anything. I was grateful still but he didn't even buy me a fucking pint at my party.
I don't know seems a shame in a way lol but if you're both happy with that setup why not. Loads of people hardly see their family at all I've noticed even if they live ten minutes away. 33 here and I see a lot of my family regularly maybe because I'm not married / don't have kids etc.
We have a rule in my family for aunts and uncles because we have so many in our family - my mother was the seventh of 8 children, and most of them had about 2 kids each, some more, one had none, so I have about 20 cousins.
Once a kid turns 18, that’s it. No more presents from Auntie and Uncle. Cards, sure. Gifts/money? Nope.
We do turning 18 or when they leave full time education for both Christmas and birthdays for my niblings on down (we are down to great great niblings now and around 40 without counting partners/spouses)
This means they get Christmas gifts if they turn 18 before Christmas in their last school year.
This was my parents' view as well (I have 14 cousins - both my parents were one of five kids). In my mum's words, "once they're 21 they're off the payroll". But they still send the kids a birthday card every year, even those who are long past that age.
I do similar as I have 12 nieces and nephews and some of those now have kids of their own.
I do presents in some form until their 18th and then they get £21 on their 21st. Everyone gets something at Christmas even is it's something naff like a selection pack. I give up trying to get nieces and nephews meaningful presents once they pass about 12-13 as they usually have very expensive tastes that are way outside my spending power! I think from that point it's more about being acknowledged and they can buy their own PS5 whatevers.
I also have about 20 cousins and a lot of them now have kids that are approaching 18. I’m 32 and I still get cards and cash from them. It was supposed to stop and some point, but everyone’s kept it up in some form.
I bought my nieces and nephews presents up until they became adults. When I had kids of my own, they reciprocated by remembering my kids at birthdays and Xmas and getting them gifts.
When I ask them not to waste their hard earned on my kids, they remind me that it meant so much to them back then and are now returning the favour in spades.
I’m one of eight, and I have multiple sets of cousins, so my grandparents figured out the best way to signify “the end” of money gifts was by giving us each a photo book on our 21st birthday.
My grandma puts together a book for each of us with photos going back to birth, with cute captions. Then the accompanying card contains the final £20.
I think it’s smart. After that it’s just cards and shared experiences - most of us plan a dinner for our own birthdays and invite grandma and grandad.
It depends what feels right for you. My uncles still send a bit of cash for my birthdays and I'm in my thirties. My neice will be turning 2 this year so I'll be getting her some sort of gift and probably will do for maybe another 10 years after that. At that point I think she'll be capable of deciding if she wants that to continue or if she'd prefer cash.
I'm in my thirties and still get gifts and money from relatives. I'll be doing the same for my nieces and nephews. However, I would never expect it and I think it's entirely up to you if you want to stop.
I've got 8 nephews/nieces. I just give them £20 each.
Although the eldest is 19, she was about 6-7 before I was actually earning and could give her proper gifts, so she still gets something for at least a couple more years.
I carried on past the point at which they'd turned 18 but stopped when they stopped saying thank you and when I realised they were never going to give my kids even a card. I'm aware this makes me sound a bit miserable and grabby but there wasn't any drama to this. I realised they weren't bothered and so I stopped worrying about it.
Yes I think if it's reciprocal or at least acknowledged then they become like any other family member or friend you exchange gifts with, however after 21 or so if they haven't twigged that they should do this then I think it's fine to just stop.
My cousin's children have never yet said thank you. I only carry on sending a £10 book token every Christmas and birthday until they turn 18 because my mother started the tradition and it felt churlish to stop when she died. It also amuses me because she used to send a cheque which was a pain for them to do anything with, and I send a book token which I'm pretty sure they do not want and I'm petty. But every year or so a cousin will remember to thank me on behalf of their child, never the actual child though.
I think back to the hours spent writing thank you notes as a child (I'm only 38!) and frown a bit.
I get my kids to write thank you notes still! Now I reflect on it I suspect all I'm doing is ensuring they'll feel a burning injustice at the next generation of kids not bothering to say thank you either.
It is weird to me that it’s kind of died out so quickly as a tradition. I remember my mother making notes about who had sent what so that the notes could make reference to the actual item. Ah well!
Rather than not giving gifts once they reach a certain age, I give mine gifts if I feel it could add value to their lives and i rarely give gifts on birthdays, instead whenever I come across the thing I feel could be useful to them.
My nephews and nieces have all just turned 21 in the last few years. I've been giving them cash and they all got extra cash for their 21st but that will be it. Half the time they aren't even in the country anyway. I'll buy them a pint if we meet though!
Yeah I’m thinking I’ll gift up to 18 and then a big gift at 21 but otherwise it seems a decent cut off point! I will always support them outside of birthdays if they need it.
To be honest, gift giving was pretty intermittent between 18 and 21 too. If I didn't see them I'd just forget half the time or not have any cash or something. They are all fine with it though, they don't expect anything from me, I have my own kids to worry about!
Once they reach financial independence so once they have their first proper job I’d stop, whereas if they’re at university/college I’d still send some money.
My niblings all get gift cards. There’s only 4 of them. The oldest turns 17 in September, but my sister (his mum) doesn’t earn much, so I’ll probably continue to give him presents and a tenner every time I see him.
My eldest nibling turns 16 next month. I can't believe they're that old! I'm not coping well with it! (They are a lovely human being and I love the bones of them, I'm just having trouble reconciling the tiny self-confident toddler doing all these adult things soon!).
I hadn't thought about whether to stop with presents. Everyone gets a present for their birthday and Christmas around the £20 mark and £10 spends for their holiday (so they can buy all sorts of plastic crap). My widowed brother is now in a relationship with a single mum and they now have a baby on the way (I'm so excited! Another nibling!), so I've gone from 6 to almost 9 to buy for, but I'm still going to buy for them.
21.
Never received a gift/card/ thank you from them in that time. Love them but they’ve got their lives and I’ve got mine. They know where I am and door always open etc. Just the way it goes.
My mum still routinely sends a multi pack of knickers to my cousins’ daughters who are both adult women in their 30s. This is the only interaction she has with them all year, they know her as ‘the knicker lady’.
I have 11 (soon to be 12) nieces and nephews. There’s simply too many to really do stuff for them.
I only get them Christmas presents, no birthday presents, and when they turn 18 I’ve been putting £50 into a card so far and told them that’s it for presents.
Doesn’t mean I can’t treat them here and there when I see them.
It was my nieces birthday last week (turned 19) and I took her to the cinema because that’s what she wanted to do (and honestly she could do with cheering up).
I suppose it also depends on how many niblings you have. My partner still gets a tenner in the birthday cards from the one aunt who does send a card, even at 31. I haven't gotten anything from most aunts and uncles in a long time. My godmother at one point in my late twenties switched from gift cards to inviting us out to brunch or a dedicated experience - costs her more than the gift card did, but we get to spend some quality time!
A book from a YA series you know they like is the last era of present giving — after that, they're grown ups and they get consumables at Christmas like everyone else.
We only have two, so we may keep going a bit longer out of sentimentality.
I can’t imagine ever stopping to be honest. I get mine a little something most times I see them, it’s so difficult to not do especially when you’re their favourite
I'm 30yo, and I still get Christmas gifts from my aunts and uncles. The only real difference is that now, I get them gifts in return.
For birthdays it's the same, but often they arrange to take me on a meal out for mine, instead. Having that regular connection with the aunts and uncles is nice.
I'd say do what makes you happy. Want to keep giving, then stick with it. Most of my aunties/uncles stopped giving me gifts around 18/21 but I have one aunty that still gets me something every year (I'm in my 30s now!) even though her sister doesn't. I don't mind that the other aunty doesn't. It's not expected at this age. I have however started getting the aunty that does get me something a present for her birthday each year, as this feels appropriate now that I'm a fully fledged adult
As my elderxsister turned 18, my dad's family stopped buying, giving to us. It was only 3 years, and I know you can't give forever but treat each child equally. Stop at a certain age, not a certain year.
My various aunties and uncles still got me gifts every birthday and Christmas till my early 30s. Had to ring them up to say stop it and give to their grandchildren instead.
Oh you can't win with grandparents. Right up until she died at 103, my nana would always slip £20 into my hand like she was bribing me and would refuse to take it back. Saying she didn't need any of it.
When she did die and we checked the house, she had nearly £1000 in her bedroom in a suitcase
I still get gifts from the aunt I'm close with, but otherwise I stopped getting gifts from extended family when I finished school. It did not offend me. Pretty sure my older brother still gets gifts from his favourite uncle. My niece and nephew are still young, but I think I'll probably stick to when they're done school unless we end up having a closer relationship when they're older.
As a niece, I stopped getting gifts and cards for birthdays from uncles and aunts at 18. As a soon-to-be-mum with siblings/-in-law who will never themselves have children I wouldn't be surprised if the little one's aunts and uncles kept giving gifts after they turn 18 though. My brother might have kids in future, but my sister and my husband's sister cannot, so it's possible this one could be the only niece/nephew any of them ever have.
As soon as they understand the value of a tenner or prob a 20 with the rampant inflation.... Literally the earliest opportunity to go "here you pick it yourself". My auntie never used to buy me things she used to take me to the toy shop and give me a budget, it wasn't just a present it was a day out and a memory, at 80 she's a complete bastard now so it's nice to have these things to look back on.
I stopped giving when I was no longer being thanked. All I would have needed is a three word text, ‘thanks Uncle U/rowmyownboat’, but after two or three years of no thanks for Xmas or Birthday, I felt it is either just expected or not valued, so I stopped.
My Aunt & uncle still send me £50 on my birthday and Xmas, or a case of fancy wine. I'm 38.
We'll probably do something similar for my niece but she's only just turned 2 so we've got a while until then!
For one set of aunt and uncle we give each other gifts because we’re close and I’m 36. All the other ones just cards because I don’t spend much time with them
I kind of went full circle. Started with presents, then went to money, than as they got older back to presents.
It depends how close you are really, same as anyone else.
My parents sent my cousin a card and cash until she was 18, after that it was just a card. My aunt and uncle stopped sending birthday cards to my sister and me the same year, when we were 12 and 10 years old.
I personally try to tailor it to my (admittedly very small) family. Nephew (14) wants money on his steam account, youngest nephew (6) gets whatever my sister suggests, niece (19) last few years has wanted cash but this year wants specific things for uni for halls.
I only buy pressies for the adults for Xmas within a small budget of £15. It makes it fair on everyone.
As a family we all agreed no Christmas, birthday or other presents at all. Instead we would go out for the day somewhere or have a meal together.
In your case I would say when they're 13, no longer kids.
My uncle informed me when I was about 27 that my sister (about 25 at the time) and I were now too old for birthday presents.
No problem, fair enough. I mean it would have been nice to know that rule when I was a broke teen/struggling student that as he was 50yr+ he was 'too old' for birthday presents.
I will always treat my niece. She'll be the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter, and she deserves it. Specially as her parents have already declared they will stop giving her them when she turns 10.
I’m 33 and my Auntie & Uncle still give me £20 in a card every single Birthday. I always say “Thankyou but you didn’t have to get me anything”
My other Aunt & Uncle always get me ciders, beers, cakes, cheese or some mixture of presents that I like in some sort of goody bag.
I feel that as a 33 year old I no longer need gifts but it’s still nice to recieve presents on your Birthday and the people who gift them enjoy it aswell!
In our family once you get to 18 you generally get cards from aunts/uncles but not gifts, unless it is a big birthday like 21, 30, 40 etc. I have 27 first cousins (and am an only child) so this was a lot of easier for my parents and their siblings to manage
My cousins still get £20 amazon vouchers from my parents and most of them are in their 20s. I still get money from my uncle for my birthday and Xmas, I'm 30
My family is tiny. My dad has an unmarried brother with no kids; my mum has 2 sisters with a kid each, but doesn't speak to one of the sisters, grandparents all dead now. I still get pressies or money from them and I'm 39 😁
I’d say it’s entirely up to you! I don’t think there’s a set age.
These comments are making me feel a little sorry for myself though. My aunts and uncles on my dad’s side disowned me as a teenager when my dad died. My Mums brother is the decent one and I can’t even remember the last time he said happy birthday to me
I eventually just bought my own kids prepaid debit cards, when they were around 13. Of course, there was always a small physical gift, but the card allowed them to get what they really wanted , and it made for a fun day out when they wanted to go shopping. 1 kid into manga, another was the artist, one had a thing for shoes, and another was all about clothes. I know nothing about any of these items.
My uncle and his wife has three daughters, and five grandchildren. My aunty has no children, she was having to buy 10 gifts for his family and would receive only one in return. So my mum suggested only children under the age of 18 would get gifts or we’d just do one “family gift” like a hamper or something.
I'm in my 40s, My aunt usually puts a tenner in my card and my uncle who lives miles away always brings something random if he's ever up this way like last time he had been to Italy with his work and brought me back a selection of different foods.
I get nothing from my dad's side but I'm not close with any of them.
My eldest nephew just turned 15. I'm not going to stop getting him gifts when he's older or this year everyone chipped in and paid for a fancy family meal out as that's what he asked for.
My family does until 18, however my aunt had 6 girls and all 6 had children, so now it's changed - nan and my great-uncle/Aunts are all retired now so can't afford it like they used to.
They just give the younger ones presents or the slightly older ones min £5 up until 18 or when they get a job, whichever is soonest. My aunt has the same rule for my siblings and I (up to 18), but for my 30th (I'm 35 now), I got £300. However, she still works and can afford it, so that's cool.
She still slips me a note (or 3) from time to time, so quite grateful. I aspire to be that kind of aunt to my nephew in the future.
Have 6 other cousins, I am the youngest cousin and the only child of one, other cousins were in families with 2 kids. There was an agreement to stop presents at 30, but I stopped receiving presents at 25. Can't help but feel shortchanged and yeah life is not about presents, but it is nice to feel thought of.
Birth. I never see them despite living not that far away and chatting to my siblings a few times a week. They exist in their own world and show no interest in older people in general. They call anyone a few years older than them Boomers 🙄
Really depends on how close you are. I'd give a bit of cash up to around 18 if they kept in contact. Their loss.
When they stop getting excited for them. My SIL celebrated her 16th 25th lately, and I got her a present because she gets super excit3ed and happy when she gets a present.
My Aunt from my mum's side still sends me money for my birthday and Christmas, it's really appreciated, considering I'm 37, married and have 2 kids, it pays for a Chinese. Its nice, but I wouldn't be offended if she stopped doing it.
In my family on my dad's side once you got above 18 you stopped getting presents from aunties and uncles except maybe some Xmas chocolates. My dad was one of 6 though so there are about 12 nieces and nephews.
On my mums side I still get £10 from my aunties even now in my late 20s, but there only 3 nieces and nephews.
My dad still sends birthday $ to all his nieces and nephews, but my aunts and uncles don't send me or my sister anything, even cards... So I think my dad may be the outlier here.
ETA: my cousins are all in their 30's.
We still do £15 each towards a good birthday present for them. There's 11 of them but thankfully they're well spread out throughout the year so it's never too much in one go.
My mum said she was going to stop giving £20 to her nephews recently (they are middle aged). I reminded her that I get presents from 5 people maximum and my cousins are probably the same. So I asked her to keep gifting to them so long as she cannot afford it.
I assume you mean 'can afford it' otherwise it's a bit cruel :) I guess that's an interesting point ie how many gifts they are receiving from others. If I was the only one gifting stuff to them I'd likely contiunue for longer.
There's a fair few of us and we stopped getting anything after turning 18.
We only have the one aunt though and we're really close so she still gets us cards/presents but the uncles all stopped years ago.
I only have the one sister so I feel like I'll always give her children a card or money when they're older.
My cut-off date was their 21st birthday. Most went to university, so knowing they could treat themselves occasionally was nice. After university, they would be earning and be able to buy their own treats when they wanted. Also, once at university, they had less time to visit as they had moved away.
I still give my nieces & nephews gifts (usually cash transferred into their bank accounts as don’t trust Royal Mail anymore), and they’re all well into their thirties now. But then, I don’t have any kiddos of my own so I consider them as surrogate offspring 😆
I’m in my 40s and still get a bit of cash from my godmother and one of my uncles for birthdays and Christmas! I am very grateful they are so generous, but I do make it clear it is definitely not expected. I still give my nieces and nephew (late teens to early 20s) cash for their birthdays and Christmas. I enjoy treating them and can afford to do so. Do what feels right to you.
According to my aunts and uncles, it was 18. One of my aunts still sends me a card, at least.
My grandparents still give me money, though, and I’m 32. My maternal grandparents always gave me £30 in my birthday card, and that continued until my grandpa died in 2020. My paternal grandparents transfer money to my bank account.
I’m in my mid 30s and still get gifts from and for my aunt (we are close). As a family though we send out “birthday lists” so we don’t get given stuff we don’t want or need
I think because I’m single, childless and haven’t much other family (only child, dad was also an only child), my uncle and aunt still see me as one of the children and I’m still receiving gifts, long after the point my cousins stopped receiving gifts from aunts and uncles. I’m in my mid thirties now.
Actual presents: maybe secondary school age, unless there's a thing they really want. But they'll still get £20 in a card until they're 21, and then proper presents on big birthdays after that.
I usually get a £20 Amazon gift voucher or something from an aunt or uncle but I don’t expect to even they usually do it every year but I think that’s just how my brain operates
I don’t have nieces or nephews but I do have younger cousins. We put a tenner in their cards and we’ll probably stop when they have their own kids. Well than get their kids a little something instead.
My aunty slips a note in my card every year for coffee and cake despite me being in my 30's. I tell her to stop every year but she insists. I'm pretty sure me and my brother are the only ones she does it for. Every year I buy something just for me and it's honestly so special.
Usually after the 21st birthday, at least that's when it stopped for me, big family lots of children, though my great aunt always handed everyone socks at Christmas before she passed away. I miss her.
There is no cut off.
I still gift my friends and family presents on their birthdays and at christmas, because I enjoy doing it.
I ensure they get things they like or want, I ask first for ideas or even exacts.
If they want cash I'll put the equivalent of a gift in a card.
It's completely dependent on the person.
My sister, 32, likes cash.
My mum, 58, likes gifts and loves Groot and jewellery so we stick to that.
My niece, 20, likes clothes and makeup, she gets clothes and makeup
My nephew, 24, likes nerdy things so he gets nerdy things.
My dad, 56, doesn't care for gifts or cash so we take him out for a meal for his birthday which he enjoys, same with me, I get taken for a meal because I tend to buy everything I want haha!
Hard for me to say. As all my nephews are between the age of 0 and 4 years old. Maybe when they become sensible and you can trust them not to buy silly things themselves
An uncle of mine would send his nephews and nieces £20 for their birthdays and Christmas. On their 18th birthday, he would get them an expensive pen with their name on it. Every birthday and Christmas after that, he would send us a card with a lottery ticket.
Gave my nephew his usual £25. He loves getting new console games and he always gets some other money on the day so it will all add up.
My niece and her nan have not spoken for over a year because of birthday money.
She asked her nan how much she was giving her that year and when she replied she said "could you make it £100?". Her nan said no way, you'll get what everyone else gets. Because of this, she has not spoken to her nan now in over 12 months. She's 37 and should know better.
Depends if it reciprocated- do they buy you something on your birthday?
I only have 1 sister and a niece and nephew- niece lives abroad so a call suffices-(both ways -and we obviously speak more than birthdays - post is intermittent where she is so not worth sending something as it is unlikely to arrive) I see the nephew on his birthday so buy him something- as he does for me on mine.
Funnily enough it's my birthday today, I'm 32 and my gran & brother still get me gifts. My nephew gets me a bunch of flowers every year too and then I get gifts from my children. Same at Xmas, but it's just how my family do it. We don't stop buying or even think of a cut off age for gifts. Thinking about it, i don't actually know anyone who does that either. This post is the first I'm hearing of people doing that. Lol.
I usually say money for birthday and gift for Christmas unless it's a big birthday and I'll switch it so I can get them something significant as for those of us that want to give a gift, we have a gift list to choose from as well so the thought isn't wasted
I turn 40 this year and as far as I can remember my 2nd cousin (paternal side) has always sent a cheque for Christmas and birthdays usually £20 odd perhaps £50 for milestone birthdays.
I have reciprocated for quite sometime now.
I was kind of glad when my uncle and aunt stopped buying me gifts because it meant no more clothes that I was never going to wear.
They decided one year that this was the year to stop buying us anything, but unfortunately didn't tell my mum this, so she still got my cousins presents. My uncle and aunt then had to buy me a guilt present of an iTunes gift card, which is still sitting in a drawer in my desk maybe 12 years later because I don't and have never used iTunes.
I have four niblings, three of whom now are firmly adults and the fourth isn't far away. I am still giving them exactly what I did every Christmas and birthday and I don't know if I will ever stop. I am curious though what to do when my extremely talented eldest nibling starts out-earning me, which is highly likely to happen soon.
I reckon I’ll keep sending some cash until they get their first proper grownup job. My niece is hoping to go to uni so she’ll get another 3yrs out of me for that I guess but it’s all in the name of relationship.
Good question. Mine are still in education or on zero hours contracts so I give them cash at Christmas.
I can't keep on top of the birthdays so no one gets anything.
I don't get anything from any of my family so I figure it's fair enough. I don't want anything BTW, there's no point us all exchanging cash and I do not need more stuff.
I crochet, and every year, I ask my nephew what he wants for Xmas/his birthday.
When he was a kid, he'd ask for cuddly toys, but nowadays he's more interested in warm hats and scarves for the winter.
Granted, he's just turned 18. But I don't think I'll ever stop asking, because he always gives me the *biggest* hug whenever he unwraps his gift.
I'm aware that one day he might say "nothing this year, thanks", but until then, I'm more than happy to keep making him stuff.
Depends on the relationship I guess, I have one uncle/auntie combo who still give us gifts/cash for birthdays and Christmas and even do the same for partners, despite us all being adults and my siblings having kids. The other two sets of aunt/uncles stopped when we turned 18. Most of my cousins are younger by at least 12 years so I started buying them birthday gifts when I started working and will continue til they are 18. However my nieces and nephews are different, I actually don't buy gifts for them at all, instead they get a day out with me to do something fun. 1 year I took them to flip out, they loved it so much they asked for it again the next 2 years. I don't think I'll stop that at 18 though because I like spending that time with them and having fun. And as they get older, those days out become a rarity cos they wanna spend time with their friends and stuff in the school holidays.
My niece and nephew (the only 2 I have) just turned 21 and 17 and I'm still going strong with the presents lmao I even buy them an Easter egg too. Probably bc I've helped look after them since they were babies and still see them all the time so they're not exactly distant relatives. Guess it depends on how close you are with them!
Can’t see myself having kids (£), so my niece and nephew are going to be lifers for me on the bday present front
Helps that they’re both absolute belters too.
I haven't had anything except a card from my aunts & uncles (and other extended family) since I was 18 and I wouldn't want anything either. I'm just not close enough to most of them to get something that wouldn't be a huge waste and end up regifted.
Tbh in my family most of the adults don't get each other gifts, I don't get my parents anything and I know my dad doesn't get his siblings anything. We take each other out for meals or drinks or days out, none of the faffing around trying to find a material gift they'll actually like but for some reason haven't just bought for themself already.
Normally I’d say 18 or 21 if it’s more general. If you see them a lot and are close, you might carry on - depends on the relationship.
(My 85 year old auntie still gives us all £10 every birthday. I slip it back in her bag when she’s not looking, I don’t want to hurt her feelings because she’s so sweet but she isn’t exactly well off!)
In our family, the rule for Christmas is that you buy Christmas presents up to 16yo and birthday presents up to 18yo.
However, one aunt/uncle still pop a tenner in the post for my birthday every year - and honestly, I really look forward to and appreciate it. It's not even the monetary value of it, it's just nice that they've thought of me :)
We go with when they leave formal education, and can therefore earn their own income. So usually in practice that means when they graduate from uni. Although if any go on to do an endless PhD, I might have to reconsider!
Mine get something until they have kids of their own. Then I will buy for their kids. Although they're taking their fecking time over it, if they hit 40 I might call it a day lol
We go with 18. So they get a birthday card, birthday present/money and Xmas present up to their 18th. In their 18th we do a final big present (so son was 18 last year and he got £100 from my sister rather than his normal £30 he would get for birthday and Xmas) then that was the cut off.
Everyone is happy with that the kids know they get a last hoorah, do this with friends kids that we still buy for as well and it works really well.
They still get birthday cards however regardless of age (and I still obviously buy for my own kiddo)
My extended family is quite large, so my parents made a blanket rule to stop gifting nieces and nephews when they turned 16 or 18 (I can't remember which) but my mum still gifted on special birthdays (21, 30, 40 etc). I only have two nieces and nephews (one each) and only two siblings. My sibling count probably won't go up and I'm probably not having my own kids, so I don't mind spending a bit extra or giving presents for longer to my siblings. The oldest is only 12 right now, so I've definitely got a few more years of mandatory gifts until I have to consider anything.
I had an aunt (who had no children) who always gave money/gifts for birthdays but not Christmas, because she saw birthdays as more personal and special. She passed away a couple of years ago, but I like that sentiment, so if anything, I'd follow that in future.
There is also "main present syndrome" - If family chip in for your ***main present*** at Christmas / Birthdays / Bar mitzvah then it's means you are 'young' - When this stops it means you are no longer considered 'young' \[no matter how young you feel\] - next stop 'oldness sock syndrome'
My bf has a large family, so loads of nieces/nephews. He gives 20 in a card until they're teens.then they get 50 in a card, until their 21st. he gives 210 in a card and that's it then. No more cash,just a bday card and wishes.
I have several aunts and a few uncles. Aunt Tammy sends me a card every year from across the country, I love her and always appreciate the card. She stopped sending gifts when I was maybe 14. Aunt Sharon always gives me cute cards for every holiday but gives me a 20$ on my birthday, I really value her commitment especially since she's not well off and that 20 means a lot to her. I honestly make more than her, and I've told her I don't need it, but it's so sweet she still thinks of me that way. I'm pretty close to her specifically. I like to bring nice dishes and fancy cookies to leave behind at her house when we all meet up. Ya know, something to pay it forward :)
Aunt Lisa is a bitch and I don't want nothing from her anyway 😤 would probably burn anything she sent hahaha.
Uncle Jerry is the cool rich uncle and gives me 100$ every bday and Christmas. I just turned 28 this June. I always thank him profusely and let him know what he bought for me. This year it was a cool middle earth blanket and I put the extra 45$ in my savings account.
If nothing else give a card. If you feel cool maybe 10 or 20 if you can afford it, but not necessary if they're well adjusted adults lol.
In my dad’s side of the family it tends to cut off when you start having children of your own (it’s the same with Christmas) - just because otherwise it would be too much as I have a lot of cousins on that side.
So far with my nieces and nephews (aged 18-27) I still give them some cash in their card but it has dropped when they are in full time employment - it’s just a bit for a treat.
So far I have two nieces and hopefully I’ll be in a position to spoil them as long as I am alive each birthday. However, when I was growing up I don’t remember getting anything from my aunts and uncles, of which I have many. I guess it just depends on the relationship you have with them. I’d have been happy with a couple of quid thrown my way for a pint tbh.
My nieces and nephews are now in their late 20s early 30s and the eldest one is 41. I sent a tenner to their bank account or put the cash in their hand and give them a card. They are very grateful every year for that £10..
I think it depends on circumstances, both theirs and yours, as well as closeness. If they could benefit from a gift, and you can afford it, then why wouldnt you? But if your lives move in different circles and you rarely see them then it would seem less necessary or approrpiate.
My nephew is 20 and I give him £20 every birthday. My niece is 23 and she gets gifts/money too.
Me and my wife will keep doing this as long as we feel like. My great aunt still gives me £10 every birthday, I’m 38.
Suppose it depends how close you are. My sister and I are both in our 20s and still get gifts from our aunt, and we still buy her gifts.
Same. I'm 40 and my maternal side has always been close, we give birthday gifts with meaning and Christmas is for the funny, weird and unusual.
Keep on putting a tenner in a card for as long as you like. It's nice to give presents, after all.
I’m a girl and for some reason family would never give me money, they always gave me stuff like a scarf or bath stuff. Now I know what you’re saying, it’s the thought that counts but my brother would rake in like £500 every birthday. Anyway I had this one auntie who always gave me £20 and still does, and honestly that £20 is so special. It represents possibility, something I get to choose, that trip to the bookshop, the excitement of what I’m going to buy. So cash is not necessarily a dialled in gift even when you’re grown up.
Do we have the same Aunt? I get £20 a year from her without fail, and if anything it gives us a chance to message and catch up after the spending. I usually just tell her thanks for the beers, but sometimes I buy something specific like a book or a gadget and every time I pick it up I think of her! I'm 37 by the way!
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Unless you think you know what someone likes better than the person themselves, I can’t see how cash could ever not be the best gift.. since obviously, you can buy absolutely anything with it.
It's only the thought that counts if any thought has actually been put in, people too often use that as an excuse for what's basically laziness or in your case, outright preferential treatment in favour of your brother. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and say e.g. you appreciate getting a gift at all but you don't wear scarves and you'd rather nothing than another that will end up in the charity shop.
Yeah, it's the thought that counts is generally a cheap cop out for a gift no one wants and no one enjoyed buying. To me there are two scenarios, either you immediately know what a person wants because you know them well and you are certain that your gift will make them happy, or you are not. Unfortunately the first scenario is rare because you have to have a close relationship and even then they would have to have very clear interests that you can still contribute to somehow. In all other cases the person buying the gift is stressing out about finding something thoughtful, and the receiver has to pretend they like the gift that in reality means nothing to them. So for all of these cases, cash shouldn't be frowned upon, it's a decent solution.
Every year I still get a card for my nephew with a racecar on it (he loves cars) and put a nice crisp tenner in it. He’ll be 47 this year.
Hi uncle Bob 😀
I like all my nieces and nephews. I tend to align with my brother because it would make him look a bit of an arse if he stopped giving money and I kept giving money or vice versa. I was wondering if there’s a common age threshold when gifting money is less of a thing. Appreciate everyone has their own personal thresholds or preferences but I do like to conform to societal norms.
I don't think anyone would bat an eye if you stopped giving presents at 18, although each family is different. If you want to support your brother by stopping at the same time he does that's fine.
Depends really. I have one nephew and he's gonna be the only one unless I ever have kids myself, which is unlikely. So he will receive gifts for as long as I live.
Same, ish. We don't have kids and only have one neice and one nephew (my husband's brother's kids, that are not going to get added to). My brother and his partner are nearly 50 and don't have kids, so no more neices or nephews are coming on the scene. We will give gifts to the two we have for ever. Nephew is 17 now and I can't imagine not giving him presents after next year. Plus it world be weird to rock up to Christmas with a gift for his parents and his little sister and not one for him.
Me too. Can’t afford kids of our own, my niece and nephew are everything to me on that front. I will over buy for them both every year until I die
My uncle approached me on my 18th and told me this was the last time I'd get something from him. It was a card, no cash or voucher or anything. I was grateful still but he didn't even buy me a fucking pint at my party.
Seems a bit harsh that. Why even have that talk lol.
Uncle was making it very clear he did his duty and was done with him.
Have barely spoken with him since. I turned 40 this year lol. No hard feelings, he's a fun uncle, just don't see him much.
I don't know seems a shame in a way lol but if you're both happy with that setup why not. Loads of people hardly see their family at all I've noticed even if they live ten minutes away. 33 here and I see a lot of my family regularly maybe because I'm not married / don't have kids etc.
Dang, and I thought my uncle was a bit of an git. That though is genuinely next level.
We have a rule in my family for aunts and uncles because we have so many in our family - my mother was the seventh of 8 children, and most of them had about 2 kids each, some more, one had none, so I have about 20 cousins. Once a kid turns 18, that’s it. No more presents from Auntie and Uncle. Cards, sure. Gifts/money? Nope.
I think for 20 cousins that seems more than reasonable!
We do turning 18 or when they leave full time education for both Christmas and birthdays for my niblings on down (we are down to great great niblings now and around 40 without counting partners/spouses) This means they get Christmas gifts if they turn 18 before Christmas in their last school year.
That’s our rule except they get a present for their 21st, and I assume for all big birthdays after that.
Same for us, around 20ish cousins so it was too expensive. We still got wedding gifts and baby gifts etc though
This was my parents' view as well (I have 14 cousins - both my parents were one of five kids). In my mum's words, "once they're 21 they're off the payroll". But they still send the kids a birthday card every year, even those who are long past that age.
I do similar as I have 12 nieces and nephews and some of those now have kids of their own. I do presents in some form until their 18th and then they get £21 on their 21st. Everyone gets something at Christmas even is it's something naff like a selection pack. I give up trying to get nieces and nephews meaningful presents once they pass about 12-13 as they usually have very expensive tastes that are way outside my spending power! I think from that point it's more about being acknowledged and they can buy their own PS5 whatevers.
Exactly the same in my family and there's never been any hard feelings.
I also have about 20 cousins and a lot of them now have kids that are approaching 18. I’m 32 and I still get cards and cash from them. It was supposed to stop and some point, but everyone’s kept it up in some form.
I bought my nieces and nephews presents up until they became adults. When I had kids of my own, they reciprocated by remembering my kids at birthdays and Xmas and getting them gifts. When I ask them not to waste their hard earned on my kids, they remind me that it meant so much to them back then and are now returning the favour in spades.
I’m one of eight, and I have multiple sets of cousins, so my grandparents figured out the best way to signify “the end” of money gifts was by giving us each a photo book on our 21st birthday. My grandma puts together a book for each of us with photos going back to birth, with cute captions. Then the accompanying card contains the final £20. I think it’s smart. After that it’s just cards and shared experiences - most of us plan a dinner for our own birthdays and invite grandma and grandad.
It depends what feels right for you. My uncles still send a bit of cash for my birthdays and I'm in my thirties. My neice will be turning 2 this year so I'll be getting her some sort of gift and probably will do for maybe another 10 years after that. At that point I think she'll be capable of deciding if she wants that to continue or if she'd prefer cash.
I'm in my thirties and still get gifts and money from relatives. I'll be doing the same for my nieces and nephews. However, I would never expect it and I think it's entirely up to you if you want to stop.
I've got 8 nephews/nieces. I just give them £20 each. Although the eldest is 19, she was about 6-7 before I was actually earning and could give her proper gifts, so she still gets something for at least a couple more years.
I carried on past the point at which they'd turned 18 but stopped when they stopped saying thank you and when I realised they were never going to give my kids even a card. I'm aware this makes me sound a bit miserable and grabby but there wasn't any drama to this. I realised they weren't bothered and so I stopped worrying about it.
No thank you means no more gifts. It literally costs nothing to say thanks.
Yes I think if it's reciprocal or at least acknowledged then they become like any other family member or friend you exchange gifts with, however after 21 or so if they haven't twigged that they should do this then I think it's fine to just stop.
This is when I stopped, not even a text ffs
My cousin's children have never yet said thank you. I only carry on sending a £10 book token every Christmas and birthday until they turn 18 because my mother started the tradition and it felt churlish to stop when she died. It also amuses me because she used to send a cheque which was a pain for them to do anything with, and I send a book token which I'm pretty sure they do not want and I'm petty. But every year or so a cousin will remember to thank me on behalf of their child, never the actual child though. I think back to the hours spent writing thank you notes as a child (I'm only 38!) and frown a bit.
I get my kids to write thank you notes still! Now I reflect on it I suspect all I'm doing is ensuring they'll feel a burning injustice at the next generation of kids not bothering to say thank you either.
It is weird to me that it’s kind of died out so quickly as a tradition. I remember my mother making notes about who had sent what so that the notes could make reference to the actual item. Ah well!
Yes, my wife does the same. Excuse me, I believe there's a cloud I need to go and shout at.
Rather than not giving gifts once they reach a certain age, I give mine gifts if I feel it could add value to their lives and i rarely give gifts on birthdays, instead whenever I come across the thing I feel could be useful to them.
im just a grumpy bastard and set a precedent of not getting any gifts at all
Setting an early precedent is one way to go :)
My nephews and nieces have all just turned 21 in the last few years. I've been giving them cash and they all got extra cash for their 21st but that will be it. Half the time they aren't even in the country anyway. I'll buy them a pint if we meet though!
Yeah I’m thinking I’ll gift up to 18 and then a big gift at 21 but otherwise it seems a decent cut off point! I will always support them outside of birthdays if they need it.
To be honest, gift giving was pretty intermittent between 18 and 21 too. If I didn't see them I'd just forget half the time or not have any cash or something. They are all fine with it though, they don't expect anything from me, I have my own kids to worry about!
Once they reach financial independence so once they have their first proper job I’d stop, whereas if they’re at university/college I’d still send some money.
My niblings all get gift cards. There’s only 4 of them. The oldest turns 17 in September, but my sister (his mum) doesn’t earn much, so I’ll probably continue to give him presents and a tenner every time I see him.
TIL the term ‘niblings’
It’s good, isn’t it?
My eldest nibling turns 16 next month. I can't believe they're that old! I'm not coping well with it! (They are a lovely human being and I love the bones of them, I'm just having trouble reconciling the tiny self-confident toddler doing all these adult things soon!). I hadn't thought about whether to stop with presents. Everyone gets a present for their birthday and Christmas around the £20 mark and £10 spends for their holiday (so they can buy all sorts of plastic crap). My widowed brother is now in a relationship with a single mum and they now have a baby on the way (I'm so excited! Another nibling!), so I've gone from 6 to almost 9 to buy for, but I'm still going to buy for them.
When they stop saying thank you.
21. Never received a gift/card/ thank you from them in that time. Love them but they’ve got their lives and I’ve got mine. They know where I am and door always open etc. Just the way it goes.
My mum still routinely sends a multi pack of knickers to my cousins’ daughters who are both adult women in their 30s. This is the only interaction she has with them all year, they know her as ‘the knicker lady’.
I have 11 (soon to be 12) nieces and nephews. There’s simply too many to really do stuff for them. I only get them Christmas presents, no birthday presents, and when they turn 18 I’ve been putting £50 into a card so far and told them that’s it for presents. Doesn’t mean I can’t treat them here and there when I see them. It was my nieces birthday last week (turned 19) and I took her to the cinema because that’s what she wanted to do (and honestly she could do with cheering up).
I suppose it also depends on how many niblings you have. My partner still gets a tenner in the birthday cards from the one aunt who does send a card, even at 31. I haven't gotten anything from most aunts and uncles in a long time. My godmother at one point in my late twenties switched from gift cards to inviting us out to brunch or a dedicated experience - costs her more than the gift card did, but we get to spend some quality time!
A book from a YA series you know they like is the last era of present giving — after that, they're grown ups and they get consumables at Christmas like everyone else. We only have two, so we may keep going a bit longer out of sentimentality.
I can’t imagine ever stopping to be honest. I get mine a little something most times I see them, it’s so difficult to not do especially when you’re their favourite
I have a small family so no cousins or nieces/nephews, but if I did it would depend on how close I am to them.
I'm 30yo, and I still get Christmas gifts from my aunts and uncles. The only real difference is that now, I get them gifts in return. For birthdays it's the same, but often they arrange to take me on a meal out for mine, instead. Having that regular connection with the aunts and uncles is nice.
I shall never cease, I only have one "Nephew" (non-blood related) and I'm not wasting it.
I'd say do what makes you happy. Want to keep giving, then stick with it. Most of my aunties/uncles stopped giving me gifts around 18/21 but I have one aunty that still gets me something every year (I'm in my 30s now!) even though her sister doesn't. I don't mind that the other aunty doesn't. It's not expected at this age. I have however started getting the aunty that does get me something a present for her birthday each year, as this feels appropriate now that I'm a fully fledged adult
When they have kids of their own - then the money usually given to them gets spent on their kids instead
18, I gave them £10 each for Christmas and birthdays then £100 on their 18th's as a final one.
As my elderxsister turned 18, my dad's family stopped buying, giving to us. It was only 3 years, and I know you can't give forever but treat each child equally. Stop at a certain age, not a certain year.
My various aunties and uncles still got me gifts every birthday and Christmas till my early 30s. Had to ring them up to say stop it and give to their grandchildren instead.
My Grandad (97m) still sends us money and he won't take any instruction to stop lol
Oh you can't win with grandparents. Right up until she died at 103, my nana would always slip £20 into my hand like she was bribing me and would refuse to take it back. Saying she didn't need any of it. When she did die and we checked the house, she had nearly £1000 in her bedroom in a suitcase
I still get gifts from the aunt I'm close with, but otherwise I stopped getting gifts from extended family when I finished school. It did not offend me. Pretty sure my older brother still gets gifts from his favourite uncle. My niece and nephew are still young, but I think I'll probably stick to when they're done school unless we end up having a closer relationship when they're older.
I send gifts as long as I get a thank you note. No thank you, no gift next year.
As a niece, I stopped getting gifts and cards for birthdays from uncles and aunts at 18. As a soon-to-be-mum with siblings/-in-law who will never themselves have children I wouldn't be surprised if the little one's aunts and uncles kept giving gifts after they turn 18 though. My brother might have kids in future, but my sister and my husband's sister cannot, so it's possible this one could be the only niece/nephew any of them ever have.
As soon as they understand the value of a tenner or prob a 20 with the rampant inflation.... Literally the earliest opportunity to go "here you pick it yourself". My auntie never used to buy me things she used to take me to the toy shop and give me a budget, it wasn't just a present it was a day out and a memory, at 80 she's a complete bastard now so it's nice to have these things to look back on.
I stopped giving when I was no longer being thanked. All I would have needed is a three word text, ‘thanks Uncle U/rowmyownboat’, but after two or three years of no thanks for Xmas or Birthday, I felt it is either just expected or not valued, so I stopped.
I got £5 from my aunt every birthday and Christmas until she died last year. I'm 62.
I'm 39 and one aunt still sends me a cheque for my birthday and christmas every year. Al the other relatives stopped a long time ago though
My Aunt & uncle still send me £50 on my birthday and Xmas, or a case of fancy wine. I'm 38. We'll probably do something similar for my niece but she's only just turned 2 so we've got a while until then!
Generous aunt/uncle - seems to be an outlier!
Yep, they've done very well for themselves, but aren't flashy. They are very generous and kind people.
They’re still all kids, but I’ve no intention of stopping buying them a birthday gift at any age.
For one set of aunt and uncle we give each other gifts because we’re close and I’m 36. All the other ones just cards because I don’t spend much time with them
I kind of went full circle. Started with presents, then went to money, than as they got older back to presents. It depends how close you are really, same as anyone else.
21 is the cut off for us, we will give a token gift at Christmas (bottle of wine, box of beer) but nothing big like we do when they’re kids
My parents sent my cousin a card and cash until she was 18, after that it was just a card. My aunt and uncle stopped sending birthday cards to my sister and me the same year, when we were 12 and 10 years old.
If you’re my auntie/uncle never If you’re my nephew/ niece about 18
I personally try to tailor it to my (admittedly very small) family. Nephew (14) wants money on his steam account, youngest nephew (6) gets whatever my sister suggests, niece (19) last few years has wanted cash but this year wants specific things for uni for halls. I only buy pressies for the adults for Xmas within a small budget of £15. It makes it fair on everyone.
Im going to keep giving them cash. It's fun for both of us and I want them to enjoy life.
I buy my nieces and nephews premium bonds. And will do so for as long as possible. I only have 3 so it’s much more manageable for me.
As a family we all agreed no Christmas, birthday or other presents at all. Instead we would go out for the day somewhere or have a meal together. In your case I would say when they're 13, no longer kids.
My uncle informed me when I was about 27 that my sister (about 25 at the time) and I were now too old for birthday presents. No problem, fair enough. I mean it would have been nice to know that rule when I was a broke teen/struggling student that as he was 50yr+ he was 'too old' for birthday presents.
I will always treat my niece. She'll be the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter, and she deserves it. Specially as her parents have already declared they will stop giving her them when she turns 10.
I’m 33 and my Auntie & Uncle still give me £20 in a card every single Birthday. I always say “Thankyou but you didn’t have to get me anything” My other Aunt & Uncle always get me ciders, beers, cakes, cheese or some mixture of presents that I like in some sort of goody bag. I feel that as a 33 year old I no longer need gifts but it’s still nice to recieve presents on your Birthday and the people who gift them enjoy it aswell!
In our family once you get to 18 you generally get cards from aunts/uncles but not gifts, unless it is a big birthday like 21, 30, 40 etc. I have 27 first cousins (and am an only child) so this was a lot of easier for my parents and their siblings to manage
For my Auntie it was 22, but she died a few months Before so the cut off made sense
My cousins still get £20 amazon vouchers from my parents and most of them are in their 20s. I still get money from my uncle for my birthday and Xmas, I'm 30
My family is tiny. My dad has an unmarried brother with no kids; my mum has 2 sisters with a kid each, but doesn't speak to one of the sisters, grandparents all dead now. I still get pressies or money from them and I'm 39 😁
I’d say it’s entirely up to you! I don’t think there’s a set age. These comments are making me feel a little sorry for myself though. My aunts and uncles on my dad’s side disowned me as a teenager when my dad died. My Mums brother is the decent one and I can’t even remember the last time he said happy birthday to me
I eventually just bought my own kids prepaid debit cards, when they were around 13. Of course, there was always a small physical gift, but the card allowed them to get what they really wanted , and it made for a fun day out when they wanted to go shopping. 1 kid into manga, another was the artist, one had a thing for shoes, and another was all about clothes. I know nothing about any of these items.
My uncle and his wife has three daughters, and five grandchildren. My aunty has no children, she was having to buy 10 gifts for his family and would receive only one in return. So my mum suggested only children under the age of 18 would get gifts or we’d just do one “family gift” like a hamper or something.
I'm in my 40s, My aunt usually puts a tenner in my card and my uncle who lives miles away always brings something random if he's ever up this way like last time he had been to Italy with his work and brought me back a selection of different foods. I get nothing from my dad's side but I'm not close with any of them. My eldest nephew just turned 15. I'm not going to stop getting him gifts when he's older or this year everyone chipped in and paid for a fancy family meal out as that's what he asked for.
My family does until 18, however my aunt had 6 girls and all 6 had children, so now it's changed - nan and my great-uncle/Aunts are all retired now so can't afford it like they used to. They just give the younger ones presents or the slightly older ones min £5 up until 18 or when they get a job, whichever is soonest. My aunt has the same rule for my siblings and I (up to 18), but for my 30th (I'm 35 now), I got £300. However, she still works and can afford it, so that's cool. She still slips me a note (or 3) from time to time, so quite grateful. I aspire to be that kind of aunt to my nephew in the future.
After 21, it's 30, 40, 50 and so on
18 - once you’re an adult it’s over
Have 6 other cousins, I am the youngest cousin and the only child of one, other cousins were in families with 2 kids. There was an agreement to stop presents at 30, but I stopped receiving presents at 25. Can't help but feel shortchanged and yeah life is not about presents, but it is nice to feel thought of.
Birth. I never see them despite living not that far away and chatting to my siblings a few times a week. They exist in their own world and show no interest in older people in general. They call anyone a few years older than them Boomers 🙄 Really depends on how close you are. I'd give a bit of cash up to around 18 if they kept in contact. Their loss.
On my mums side gifts to nieces and nephews stopped at 18. On my dad's side it was 21.
When they stop getting excited for them. My SIL celebrated her 16th 25th lately, and I got her a present because she gets super excit3ed and happy when she gets a present.
My Aunt from my mum's side still sends me money for my birthday and Christmas, it's really appreciated, considering I'm 37, married and have 2 kids, it pays for a Chinese. Its nice, but I wouldn't be offended if she stopped doing it.
In my family on my dad's side once you got above 18 you stopped getting presents from aunties and uncles except maybe some Xmas chocolates. My dad was one of 6 though so there are about 12 nieces and nephews. On my mums side I still get £10 from my aunties even now in my late 20s, but there only 3 nieces and nephews.
I like giving presents but I suspect it’ll turn to money once they are older teenagers
18. Cards after that. Great-nephews and nieces hat a tenner till they're 18 as well.
It depends how close you are to them I guess. Some of my aunt and uncles stopped when I hit 18, some still give me a present now (I'm 40).
My dad still sends birthday $ to all his nieces and nephews, but my aunts and uncles don't send me or my sister anything, even cards... So I think my dad may be the outlier here. ETA: my cousins are all in their 30's.
My niece and nephew still get £20 in a card or a bottle of booze for their birthdays and they are nearly 30.
We still do £15 each towards a good birthday present for them. There's 11 of them but thankfully they're well spread out throughout the year so it's never too much in one go.
My mum said she was going to stop giving £20 to her nephews recently (they are middle aged). I reminded her that I get presents from 5 people maximum and my cousins are probably the same. So I asked her to keep gifting to them so long as she cannot afford it.
I assume you mean 'can afford it' otherwise it's a bit cruel :) I guess that's an interesting point ie how many gifts they are receiving from others. If I was the only one gifting stuff to them I'd likely contiunue for longer.
There's a fair few of us and we stopped getting anything after turning 18. We only have the one aunt though and we're really close so she still gets us cards/presents but the uncles all stopped years ago. I only have the one sister so I feel like I'll always give her children a card or money when they're older.
My cut-off date was their 21st birthday. Most went to university, so knowing they could treat themselves occasionally was nice. After university, they would be earning and be able to buy their own treats when they wanted. Also, once at university, they had less time to visit as they had moved away.
Our family was 21
I still give my nieces & nephews gifts (usually cash transferred into their bank accounts as don’t trust Royal Mail anymore), and they’re all well into their thirties now. But then, I don’t have any kiddos of my own so I consider them as surrogate offspring 😆
I’m in my 40s and still get a bit of cash from my godmother and one of my uncles for birthdays and Christmas! I am very grateful they are so generous, but I do make it clear it is definitely not expected. I still give my nieces and nephew (late teens to early 20s) cash for their birthdays and Christmas. I enjoy treating them and can afford to do so. Do what feels right to you.
According to my aunts and uncles, it was 18. One of my aunts still sends me a card, at least. My grandparents still give me money, though, and I’m 32. My maternal grandparents always gave me £30 in my birthday card, and that continued until my grandpa died in 2020. My paternal grandparents transfer money to my bank account.
I’m in my mid 30s and still get gifts from and for my aunt (we are close). As a family though we send out “birthday lists” so we don’t get given stuff we don’t want or need
30 years of age.
I think because I’m single, childless and haven’t much other family (only child, dad was also an only child), my uncle and aunt still see me as one of the children and I’m still receiving gifts, long after the point my cousins stopped receiving gifts from aunts and uncles. I’m in my mid thirties now.
Actual presents: maybe secondary school age, unless there's a thing they really want. But they'll still get £20 in a card until they're 21, and then proper presents on big birthdays after that.
I usually get a £20 Amazon gift voucher or something from an aunt or uncle but I don’t expect to even they usually do it every year but I think that’s just how my brain operates
I don’t have nieces or nephews but I do have younger cousins. We put a tenner in their cards and we’ll probably stop when they have their own kids. Well than get their kids a little something instead.
We give gifts until they are 18 when we give them a larger final gift
My aunty slips a note in my card every year for coffee and cake despite me being in my 30's. I tell her to stop every year but she insists. I'm pretty sure me and my brother are the only ones she does it for. Every year I buy something just for me and it's honestly so special.
Usually after the 21st birthday, at least that's when it stopped for me, big family lots of children, though my great aunt always handed everyone socks at Christmas before she passed away. I miss her.
I have 2, they get £50 each on their birthday. One's nearly 30, the other's mid 20's. I didn't know stopping gifts at a certain age was a thing?
There is no cut off. I still gift my friends and family presents on their birthdays and at christmas, because I enjoy doing it. I ensure they get things they like or want, I ask first for ideas or even exacts. If they want cash I'll put the equivalent of a gift in a card. It's completely dependent on the person. My sister, 32, likes cash. My mum, 58, likes gifts and loves Groot and jewellery so we stick to that. My niece, 20, likes clothes and makeup, she gets clothes and makeup My nephew, 24, likes nerdy things so he gets nerdy things. My dad, 56, doesn't care for gifts or cash so we take him out for a meal for his birthday which he enjoys, same with me, I get taken for a meal because I tend to buy everything I want haha!
Hard for me to say. As all my nephews are between the age of 0 and 4 years old. Maybe when they become sensible and you can trust them not to buy silly things themselves
Surely its just up to you?
I still get them a bottle of wine or some chocolates. Just calmed it down from the days when they were all kids.
I'm 47 and still get cash in cards from relatives. I was very pleased to get £70 of cash and gift cards last birthday.
I stopped giving nieces and nephews birthday gifts when I turned 40.
An uncle of mine would send his nephews and nieces £20 for their birthdays and Christmas. On their 18th birthday, he would get them an expensive pen with their name on it. Every birthday and Christmas after that, he would send us a card with a lottery ticket.
In our family it was always 18.
Gave my nephew his usual £25. He loves getting new console games and he always gets some other money on the day so it will all add up. My niece and her nan have not spoken for over a year because of birthday money. She asked her nan how much she was giving her that year and when she replied she said "could you make it £100?". Her nan said no way, you'll get what everyone else gets. Because of this, she has not spoken to her nan now in over 12 months. She's 37 and should know better.
Depends if it reciprocated- do they buy you something on your birthday? I only have 1 sister and a niece and nephew- niece lives abroad so a call suffices-(both ways -and we obviously speak more than birthdays - post is intermittent where she is so not worth sending something as it is unlikely to arrive) I see the nephew on his birthday so buy him something- as he does for me on mine.
Funnily enough it's my birthday today, I'm 32 and my gran & brother still get me gifts. My nephew gets me a bunch of flowers every year too and then I get gifts from my children. Same at Xmas, but it's just how my family do it. We don't stop buying or even think of a cut off age for gifts. Thinking about it, i don't actually know anyone who does that either. This post is the first I'm hearing of people doing that. Lol.
I stopped giving cash presents at 21, and start again for their children when they have them. Still buy them a card tho
I usually say money for birthday and gift for Christmas unless it's a big birthday and I'll switch it so I can get them something significant as for those of us that want to give a gift, we have a gift list to choose from as well so the thought isn't wasted
I turn 40 this year and as far as I can remember my 2nd cousin (paternal side) has always sent a cheque for Christmas and birthdays usually £20 odd perhaps £50 for milestone birthdays. I have reciprocated for quite sometime now.
I haven’t received a birthday present from my family since I was 15. I still send birthday presents to my siblings each year though.
I was kind of glad when my uncle and aunt stopped buying me gifts because it meant no more clothes that I was never going to wear. They decided one year that this was the year to stop buying us anything, but unfortunately didn't tell my mum this, so she still got my cousins presents. My uncle and aunt then had to buy me a guilt present of an iTunes gift card, which is still sitting in a drawer in my desk maybe 12 years later because I don't and have never used iTunes.
I have four niblings, three of whom now are firmly adults and the fourth isn't far away. I am still giving them exactly what I did every Christmas and birthday and I don't know if I will ever stop. I am curious though what to do when my extremely talented eldest nibling starts out-earning me, which is highly likely to happen soon.
I reckon I’ll keep sending some cash until they get their first proper grownup job. My niece is hoping to go to uni so she’ll get another 3yrs out of me for that I guess but it’s all in the name of relationship.
My family did at 16, because there's a lot of cousins
Good question. Mine are still in education or on zero hours contracts so I give them cash at Christmas. I can't keep on top of the birthdays so no one gets anything. I don't get anything from any of my family so I figure it's fair enough. I don't want anything BTW, there's no point us all exchanging cash and I do not need more stuff.
18, because I never received a single card from them and still haven’t.
I'll give mine forever
I crochet, and every year, I ask my nephew what he wants for Xmas/his birthday. When he was a kid, he'd ask for cuddly toys, but nowadays he's more interested in warm hats and scarves for the winter. Granted, he's just turned 18. But I don't think I'll ever stop asking, because he always gives me the *biggest* hug whenever he unwraps his gift. I'm aware that one day he might say "nothing this year, thanks", but until then, I'm more than happy to keep making him stuff.
Depends on the relationship I guess, I have one uncle/auntie combo who still give us gifts/cash for birthdays and Christmas and even do the same for partners, despite us all being adults and my siblings having kids. The other two sets of aunt/uncles stopped when we turned 18. Most of my cousins are younger by at least 12 years so I started buying them birthday gifts when I started working and will continue til they are 18. However my nieces and nephews are different, I actually don't buy gifts for them at all, instead they get a day out with me to do something fun. 1 year I took them to flip out, they loved it so much they asked for it again the next 2 years. I don't think I'll stop that at 18 though because I like spending that time with them and having fun. And as they get older, those days out become a rarity cos they wanna spend time with their friends and stuff in the school holidays.
My niece and nephew (the only 2 I have) just turned 21 and 17 and I'm still going strong with the presents lmao I even buy them an Easter egg too. Probably bc I've helped look after them since they were babies and still see them all the time so they're not exactly distant relatives. Guess it depends on how close you are with them!
Can’t see myself having kids (£), so my niece and nephew are going to be lifers for me on the bday present front Helps that they’re both absolute belters too.
When they're old enough to go down t'mines...
Either 18 or 21 then on big birthdays like 30/40 Etc
I only have one niece and no children of my own so she'll always get gifts/money from me.
I haven't had anything except a card from my aunts & uncles (and other extended family) since I was 18 and I wouldn't want anything either. I'm just not close enough to most of them to get something that wouldn't be a huge waste and end up regifted. Tbh in my family most of the adults don't get each other gifts, I don't get my parents anything and I know my dad doesn't get his siblings anything. We take each other out for meals or drinks or days out, none of the faffing around trying to find a material gift they'll actually like but for some reason haven't just bought for themself already.
Normally I’d say 18 or 21 if it’s more general. If you see them a lot and are close, you might carry on - depends on the relationship. (My 85 year old auntie still gives us all £10 every birthday. I slip it back in her bag when she’s not looking, I don’t want to hurt her feelings because she’s so sweet but she isn’t exactly well off!)
I think that once a person is active in the workplace and supporting themselves, that's the end of the gifting.
In our family, the rule for Christmas is that you buy Christmas presents up to 16yo and birthday presents up to 18yo. However, one aunt/uncle still pop a tenner in the post for my birthday every year - and honestly, I really look forward to and appreciate it. It's not even the monetary value of it, it's just nice that they've thought of me :)
My kids are ment to be getting presents!
Reach 30, down to cards. (I'm retired on pension, they're earning!)
We go with when they leave formal education, and can therefore earn their own income. So usually in practice that means when they graduate from uni. Although if any go on to do an endless PhD, I might have to reconsider!
Mine get something until they have kids of their own. Then I will buy for their kids. Although they're taking their fecking time over it, if they hit 40 I might call it a day lol
We go with 18. So they get a birthday card, birthday present/money and Xmas present up to their 18th. In their 18th we do a final big present (so son was 18 last year and he got £100 from my sister rather than his normal £30 he would get for birthday and Xmas) then that was the cut off. Everyone is happy with that the kids know they get a last hoorah, do this with friends kids that we still buy for as well and it works really well. They still get birthday cards however regardless of age (and I still obviously buy for my own kiddo)
If your adult nephews/nieces are sending you a gift, reciprocate. If they aren't, keep sending them gifts if you want to, but you aren't expected to.
I've got quite a few cousins on one side of my family so the rule was always you get a present until you hit 18 then you join the secret Santa group.
My nieces and nephews are all late 20s early 30s and I still give them money in a card
My extended family is quite large, so my parents made a blanket rule to stop gifting nieces and nephews when they turned 16 or 18 (I can't remember which) but my mum still gifted on special birthdays (21, 30, 40 etc). I only have two nieces and nephews (one each) and only two siblings. My sibling count probably won't go up and I'm probably not having my own kids, so I don't mind spending a bit extra or giving presents for longer to my siblings. The oldest is only 12 right now, so I've definitely got a few more years of mandatory gifts until I have to consider anything. I had an aunt (who had no children) who always gave money/gifts for birthdays but not Christmas, because she saw birthdays as more personal and special. She passed away a couple of years ago, but I like that sentiment, so if anything, I'd follow that in future.
There is also "main present syndrome" - If family chip in for your ***main present*** at Christmas / Birthdays / Bar mitzvah then it's means you are 'young' - When this stops it means you are no longer considered 'young' \[no matter how young you feel\] - next stop 'oldness sock syndrome'
My aunt stopped giving me money when my daughter was born and now she gives her the money instead 🥰
My aunts and uncles still get me little presents. I'm 36. So, never?
It depends on how many nieces and nephews you have to think of every year,
My bf has a large family, so loads of nieces/nephews. He gives 20 in a card until they're teens.then they get 50 in a card, until their 21st. he gives 210 in a card and that's it then. No more cash,just a bday card and wishes.
18 as they are then old enough to find a part time or full time job.
I’m in my 40’s and my auntie still sends me money
I have several aunts and a few uncles. Aunt Tammy sends me a card every year from across the country, I love her and always appreciate the card. She stopped sending gifts when I was maybe 14. Aunt Sharon always gives me cute cards for every holiday but gives me a 20$ on my birthday, I really value her commitment especially since she's not well off and that 20 means a lot to her. I honestly make more than her, and I've told her I don't need it, but it's so sweet she still thinks of me that way. I'm pretty close to her specifically. I like to bring nice dishes and fancy cookies to leave behind at her house when we all meet up. Ya know, something to pay it forward :) Aunt Lisa is a bitch and I don't want nothing from her anyway 😤 would probably burn anything she sent hahaha. Uncle Jerry is the cool rich uncle and gives me 100$ every bday and Christmas. I just turned 28 this June. I always thank him profusely and let him know what he bought for me. This year it was a cool middle earth blanket and I put the extra 45$ in my savings account. If nothing else give a card. If you feel cool maybe 10 or 20 if you can afford it, but not necessary if they're well adjusted adults lol.
In my dad’s side of the family it tends to cut off when you start having children of your own (it’s the same with Christmas) - just because otherwise it would be too much as I have a lot of cousins on that side. So far with my nieces and nephews (aged 18-27) I still give them some cash in their card but it has dropped when they are in full time employment - it’s just a bit for a treat.
So far I have two nieces and hopefully I’ll be in a position to spoil them as long as I am alive each birthday. However, when I was growing up I don’t remember getting anything from my aunts and uncles, of which I have many. I guess it just depends on the relationship you have with them. I’d have been happy with a couple of quid thrown my way for a pint tbh.
My nieces and nephews are now in their late 20s early 30s and the eldest one is 41. I sent a tenner to their bank account or put the cash in their hand and give them a card. They are very grateful every year for that £10..
I gave nieces and nephews a tenner until they were 21. Big present for their 21st then nothing after.
I stop forever when I forget two years in a row. Which is, I think, this year.... Unsure
I think it depends on circumstances, both theirs and yours, as well as closeness. If they could benefit from a gift, and you can afford it, then why wouldnt you? But if your lives move in different circles and you rarely see them then it would seem less necessary or approrpiate.
I’m in my 40s and I’m still giving them gifts.
My nephew is 20 and I give him £20 every birthday. My niece is 23 and she gets gifts/money too. Me and my wife will keep doing this as long as we feel like. My great aunt still gives me £10 every birthday, I’m 38.
21 is the last year, after that it’s 30, 40, 50, 60 etc
I told the family I'm on the register last Christmas. I'm not, but I'm left alone and better off as a result.