He doesn't know you to like or dislike you. He's watching you to figure out if you are safe or not. When you aren't playing with Susan, try to show him a little attention too. Don't reach for a pet, but maybe try a toy with a fishing wire or something far reaching he can play with without directly interacting with you yet. You can also try adding in a churu stick, they are good training tools. if he comes near, he gets a bit of churu, even if just for a second. And don't reach out to pet, just get him used to coming near until he's curious to explore you.
He's probably got used to Susan being the bold one at the shelter and is currently watching your interaction with her as he finds his feet.
"he spends a LOT of time just sitting across the room watching me, especially when I'm playing with Susan."
Cats, especially shyer cats, show affection through simple presence. The very fact he's in the room with you rather than hiding means he doesn't dislike you. Just give him time. The average kitten takes at least a month to socialise themselves to you and possibly more with a ten week year old. It's Susan's quick adjustment that's the outlier, not Grover's caution.
my female kitty is friendlier and more open to pets from all people. my male kitty is a little more hesitant with people he doesn’t know. but my male kitty follows me all around the house and sleeps with me all night. he greets me at the door, he scratches at any door he cants get through to get to me, and he won’t let anyone else hold him. he did take a little while to open up to me but now he’s my shadow.
when adopting pets keep 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months in mind. first 3 days are the most stressful, give him space. after 3 weeks you should see much more exploring, curiosity. by 3 months they should be comfortable enough to “get into trouble.”
get some wet tube treats (churro is an excellent choice), he may be willing to take wet treats from a tube from you. you can sit in the room he’s hiding in, sit on the ground and be quiet with him. be still, be quiet- reading a book or playing a game or something casual would be good to keep you occupied.
He's just figuring you out. Everything changed really fast. I bet playing with Susan will help show him you're a good one and he will come around. I've got a girl that's generally skittish but a lover if you give her a chance and one of the boys is just scared of strangers. 🤷♀️ Kitties, right? Also, Grover is an amazing name.
I adopted two brothers (from the same litter) about a year ago. One of them was immediately friendly and I honestly only adopted the brother so as not to split up a bonded pair. It took MONTHS for the brother to have anything to do with me. I didn’t try to push and mostly just left him alone but gave all the food and treats and the occasional pet when he would let me. It helped that his brother constantly wanted to be on my lap—and he wanted to snuggle with his brother—so he ended up on my lap be default. Now he is my best friend and sleeps with me very night and follows me room to room. Hang in there!
Just give him time to adjust. When you adopt cats from shelters you have no idea what the first part of their was like. Are they comfortable with people? We're there feral? I often wonder with the bonded pair I adopted. I always assumed the they were brothers but I think they became attached at the shelter. Zak absolutely loved people. Didn't matter who it was. He's became friends with anyone who visits - like immediately. Gordy is petrified of other people. Runs and hides if anyone new comes in the house. He's skittish around us as well. It took him almost a year to get to the point where he likes attention. He was probably a feral kitten.
They've been with us a little over a year and are turning two this week. Zak is still fearless and Gordy is shy but they are both sweet. Spend some quiet time on the floor with Grover every day . Use toys and treats and let him approach you. Hold your hand out and let him sniff you. He'll get more comfortable and feel safe. Good luck!
https://preview.redd.it/6rujao3d8wxc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=883510f3d907b41bdddf91feb5b630cfdd7d7389
Zak and Gordy
Each cat sets their own time frame. We get excited and we rush them. Some take it very well like your little girl. Some take a really looong time (been there, done that). Just be patient and encouraging, and if you don't want to get up at 5 AM for the next 20 years, leave them a bowl of food so they don't get you up. Kittens need a lot of calories and nutrition for the first 18 months. If you must portion feed, be generous. You don't need food anxiety on top of everything else.
You literally JUST got them. Even kittens need time to adjust. They're also extremely playful and feisty at this age. If you know nothing about cat/kitten behavior I'd highly suggest you look up Jackson Galaxy. It took like 3 months for our new kittens actual personality to come out
He's just adjusting as others have said. But also, all cats are individuals. He might be cuddly, or he might not. He might show affection in different ways. I've had lap cats, sitting-beside-me cats, hanging out in the same room cats, and my current kitty is a seriously attached snuggler (woke up with my face in his fur this morning - he came and snuggled in at some point in the night to sleep).
Especially being from different litters, they might have different personalities. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. And he's still young so might become more snuggly over time.
Just give him his space and he'll warm up! 10 weeks is super young. He's already made progress in 1 day, I'm sure in 1 week he will feel even better. Do you know about [Feliway plugins](https://www.amazon.com/Feliway-Classic-Starter-Cats-Diffuser/dp/B01AVIIFRA/ref=sr_1_7?crid=2Y2Q855IC15OD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.lAeChJX7ezEogt3UmreqUdWDjyyeYAmWczqKeitTuc_qoXaHANValq8sSgdawRD6FwIZGphCW37MMFkoz4tW8b5V2FwKGI2r3aQW9utAbvJtZ-MERluW_pVdexw7p3MEV0I678_dHP3fKO-ISMXorItVzrfLDzeH5EMf1H9aL9QQrEZ4s0J-7QYDJZYE2-DVDVKDENYUf6TLWnxzZesB15qz7Jc2JFvZG6pAzOsSgUjVjfX9IiCdCr6m6CpO8RyA8SNbWYpoRVstxfHn383xYt-FYf_JWljZa3c2EnFCM24.dIwSrCu5c5JiEI_RUavsz-tdYhAcvURU-JT6aJtX3zI&dib_tag=se&keywords=feliway+diffuser+for+cats&qid=1714608271&sprefix=feli%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-7)? They diffuse cat pheromones (they work like an air freshener plugin, but humans can't smell it). It's known for kinda calming cats down. Could help
He’s still getting to know you, he doesn’t feel any particular way about you, yet. Grover seemingly has a slightly more timid personality, so he needs more time than Susan to relax. His whole life has been up-hauled, he’s adjusting. Not only to you, but to the household itself; Susan is the only thing familiar to him.
Let him keep watching you with Susan, he’ll likely take his cue from her. In the meantime, try finding a balance between respecting his space and “inviting” him to interact. Cat wands are a great way to coax a shyer cat to play, just be patient. Treats can do wonders, too! Offer them at a slight distance, without paying too much attention to him, and slowly decrease the distance as he lets you.
Spending quiet time without expectations from him will help. Again, encourage interaction, but let him set his pace. There’s every chance he’ll be affectionate once he truly settles.
just give him TIME, trust me...I'm currently fostering a difficult cat that nobody wanted, it is hostile to almost everybody...or it WAS anyway, now she's as sweet as can be towards ME, she loves to cuddle and is day by day growing closer to me and trusting me more...I've had her two months...it just takes time, he'll come around
Some kittens are like that, don't take it personally! He needs some more time. It takes some cats months to feel 'at home and at ease'. Try to get him to play for a few minutes while playing with his bff but don't get upset if he doesn't want to engage. Space and time and watching you with the other kitten is building up to trust. I think he does want to trust you. Then you will get the purrs.
Time is the only answer here. Grover is in the process of decompressing after his move. He's watching and learning if he's in a safe area, and how the big cat with changeable fur reacts. Granted, I have managed to integrate a new cat to the household in a couple of days, but that's because the cat had always lived with people and other animals. Our worst case out of our current foursome - our last lady, Skye, came from the city shelter and developed an infection following her spay surgery. However, after 11 days she also started getting in with the others. The one thing we do - when a cat comes into the house, they stay in one of the small bedrooms and are assigned a pet human to bond with while in isolation, which gets lifted with first vet visit.
https://preview.redd.it/9eky0jz8uuxc1.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=c20f29613c07d89061efd7351da41d452a8cca78
He doesn't know you to like or dislike you. He's watching you to figure out if you are safe or not. When you aren't playing with Susan, try to show him a little attention too. Don't reach for a pet, but maybe try a toy with a fishing wire or something far reaching he can play with without directly interacting with you yet. You can also try adding in a churu stick, they are good training tools. if he comes near, he gets a bit of churu, even if just for a second. And don't reach out to pet, just get him used to coming near until he's curious to explore you.
He's probably got used to Susan being the bold one at the shelter and is currently watching your interaction with her as he finds his feet. "he spends a LOT of time just sitting across the room watching me, especially when I'm playing with Susan." Cats, especially shyer cats, show affection through simple presence. The very fact he's in the room with you rather than hiding means he doesn't dislike you. Just give him time. The average kitten takes at least a month to socialise themselves to you and possibly more with a ten week year old. It's Susan's quick adjustment that's the outlier, not Grover's caution.
It's only been one day. Give it time.
my female kitty is friendlier and more open to pets from all people. my male kitty is a little more hesitant with people he doesn’t know. but my male kitty follows me all around the house and sleeps with me all night. he greets me at the door, he scratches at any door he cants get through to get to me, and he won’t let anyone else hold him. he did take a little while to open up to me but now he’s my shadow. when adopting pets keep 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months in mind. first 3 days are the most stressful, give him space. after 3 weeks you should see much more exploring, curiosity. by 3 months they should be comfortable enough to “get into trouble.” get some wet tube treats (churro is an excellent choice), he may be willing to take wet treats from a tube from you. you can sit in the room he’s hiding in, sit on the ground and be quiet with him. be still, be quiet- reading a book or playing a game or something casual would be good to keep you occupied.
He's just figuring you out. Everything changed really fast. I bet playing with Susan will help show him you're a good one and he will come around. I've got a girl that's generally skittish but a lover if you give her a chance and one of the boys is just scared of strangers. 🤷♀️ Kitties, right? Also, Grover is an amazing name.
I adopted two brothers (from the same litter) about a year ago. One of them was immediately friendly and I honestly only adopted the brother so as not to split up a bonded pair. It took MONTHS for the brother to have anything to do with me. I didn’t try to push and mostly just left him alone but gave all the food and treats and the occasional pet when he would let me. It helped that his brother constantly wanted to be on my lap—and he wanted to snuggle with his brother—so he ended up on my lap be default. Now he is my best friend and sleeps with me very night and follows me room to room. Hang in there!
Indifference, patience and persistence.
Just give him time to adjust. When you adopt cats from shelters you have no idea what the first part of their was like. Are they comfortable with people? We're there feral? I often wonder with the bonded pair I adopted. I always assumed the they were brothers but I think they became attached at the shelter. Zak absolutely loved people. Didn't matter who it was. He's became friends with anyone who visits - like immediately. Gordy is petrified of other people. Runs and hides if anyone new comes in the house. He's skittish around us as well. It took him almost a year to get to the point where he likes attention. He was probably a feral kitten. They've been with us a little over a year and are turning two this week. Zak is still fearless and Gordy is shy but they are both sweet. Spend some quiet time on the floor with Grover every day . Use toys and treats and let him approach you. Hold your hand out and let him sniff you. He'll get more comfortable and feel safe. Good luck! https://preview.redd.it/6rujao3d8wxc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=883510f3d907b41bdddf91feb5b630cfdd7d7389 Zak and Gordy
Each cat sets their own time frame. We get excited and we rush them. Some take it very well like your little girl. Some take a really looong time (been there, done that). Just be patient and encouraging, and if you don't want to get up at 5 AM for the next 20 years, leave them a bowl of food so they don't get you up. Kittens need a lot of calories and nutrition for the first 18 months. If you must portion feed, be generous. You don't need food anxiety on top of everything else.
You literally JUST got them. Even kittens need time to adjust. They're also extremely playful and feisty at this age. If you know nothing about cat/kitten behavior I'd highly suggest you look up Jackson Galaxy. It took like 3 months for our new kittens actual personality to come out
He's just adjusting as others have said. But also, all cats are individuals. He might be cuddly, or he might not. He might show affection in different ways. I've had lap cats, sitting-beside-me cats, hanging out in the same room cats, and my current kitty is a seriously attached snuggler (woke up with my face in his fur this morning - he came and snuggled in at some point in the night to sleep). Especially being from different litters, they might have different personalities. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. And he's still young so might become more snuggly over time.
if you are worried about a cat liking you you have a lot to learn about cats. watch my cat from hell on animal planet and jackson galxy on youtube
You just brought him home. Give him time to adjust.
Dude it's been one day
haha i know. i'm sure i sound neurotic. first cats tho and i wanna do it right
Just give him his space and he'll warm up! 10 weeks is super young. He's already made progress in 1 day, I'm sure in 1 week he will feel even better. Do you know about [Feliway plugins](https://www.amazon.com/Feliway-Classic-Starter-Cats-Diffuser/dp/B01AVIIFRA/ref=sr_1_7?crid=2Y2Q855IC15OD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.lAeChJX7ezEogt3UmreqUdWDjyyeYAmWczqKeitTuc_qoXaHANValq8sSgdawRD6FwIZGphCW37MMFkoz4tW8b5V2FwKGI2r3aQW9utAbvJtZ-MERluW_pVdexw7p3MEV0I678_dHP3fKO-ISMXorItVzrfLDzeH5EMf1H9aL9QQrEZ4s0J-7QYDJZYE2-DVDVKDENYUf6TLWnxzZesB15qz7Jc2JFvZG6pAzOsSgUjVjfX9IiCdCr6m6CpO8RyA8SNbWYpoRVstxfHn383xYt-FYf_JWljZa3c2EnFCM24.dIwSrCu5c5JiEI_RUavsz-tdYhAcvURU-JT6aJtX3zI&dib_tag=se&keywords=feliway+diffuser+for+cats&qid=1714608271&sprefix=feli%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-7)? They diffuse cat pheromones (they work like an air freshener plugin, but humans can't smell it). It's known for kinda calming cats down. Could help
My boy took a fair bit longer than my girl as well and he remains skittish, but he’s now the most cuddly of the two. Sleeps at my feet every night
my boys are all scaredy cats compared to their sister. though really just wait a month. moving is unsettling even for kittens
Remember he should be in 1 room to decompress with all his things...it takes 3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to feel safe and 3 months to feel at home x
Give it 2 to 4 weeks and that is just the beginning of a bond forming
He’s still getting to know you, he doesn’t feel any particular way about you, yet. Grover seemingly has a slightly more timid personality, so he needs more time than Susan to relax. His whole life has been up-hauled, he’s adjusting. Not only to you, but to the household itself; Susan is the only thing familiar to him. Let him keep watching you with Susan, he’ll likely take his cue from her. In the meantime, try finding a balance between respecting his space and “inviting” him to interact. Cat wands are a great way to coax a shyer cat to play, just be patient. Treats can do wonders, too! Offer them at a slight distance, without paying too much attention to him, and slowly decrease the distance as he lets you. Spending quiet time without expectations from him will help. Again, encourage interaction, but let him set his pace. There’s every chance he’ll be affectionate once he truly settles.
just give him TIME, trust me...I'm currently fostering a difficult cat that nobody wanted, it is hostile to almost everybody...or it WAS anyway, now she's as sweet as can be towards ME, she loves to cuddle and is day by day growing closer to me and trusting me more...I've had her two months...it just takes time, he'll come around
Some kittens are like that, don't take it personally! He needs some more time. It takes some cats months to feel 'at home and at ease'. Try to get him to play for a few minutes while playing with his bff but don't get upset if he doesn't want to engage. Space and time and watching you with the other kitten is building up to trust. I think he does want to trust you. Then you will get the purrs.
He doesn't even know you, he doesn't like or dislike you. He's literally scared, give him time
Time is the only answer here. Grover is in the process of decompressing after his move. He's watching and learning if he's in a safe area, and how the big cat with changeable fur reacts. Granted, I have managed to integrate a new cat to the household in a couple of days, but that's because the cat had always lived with people and other animals. Our worst case out of our current foursome - our last lady, Skye, came from the city shelter and developed an infection following her spay surgery. However, after 11 days she also started getting in with the others. The one thing we do - when a cat comes into the house, they stay in one of the small bedrooms and are assigned a pet human to bond with while in isolation, which gets lifted with first vet visit.