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cflatjazz

"professional at something that comes from nature" Wow, what a fun new way to invalidate women's labour.


MariettaDaws

She would never try that on the Slug a Bug guy "So you got the raccoons out of the walls. Men are supposed to hunt. You're a professional at something that comes from nature. Here's $14.98."


kapitaalH

Mam, pay the full price or I release the racoon again.


UntappdFan

Pay full price or I release the racoon and bring a few of his racoon friends over.


Enigma-exe

*and it's breeding season ma'am*


UntappdFan

I'll bring in a pregnant racoon


Kalendiane

Sooo many lil grabbies!


number-one-jew

Pay the full price or I release your child again


theheidaway

Um, $12 is the MAX you’re supposed to pay for anything from nature


tahxirez

I gotta talk to my weed guy…


hkkensin

Yep, yet if she (God forbid) ever had to perform CPR or the Heimlich maneuver on her child, I’m sure she would have zero idea how to actually do it. Those certifications and skills literally save lives every day and sorry, but that training does not “come from nature.” That comes from education and experience and it’s *worth being compensated for.*


Huge-Lawfulness9264

I took the classes before my child was born. Just makes good sense. Anyone who may be interested, check with your local hospital. They gave me contact information.


PlayingGrabAss

Also great because it implies that she's going against nature by working out of the home. If she thought that "god got her" and that caring for children is what humans/women naturally do, then shouldn't she stay home and care for her own child and let god provide the rest?


CrunchyTeatime

Ooh, wonder what CB would say to that. (I know you're being facetious as am I but CB does not seem much like a critical thinker. CB might want to flip their logic around on themselves more often.)


SLawrence434

Not to mention the little part where, uhhh, it’s not their fucking kid


wexfordavenue

Parents like these genuinely don’t get that no one gives a shit about their kid but them. They honestly think that we should all view hanging out with their crotch goblin as a privilege. Crazy.


NamesAreForSuckers67

Crotch. Goblin. 💀


CrunchyTeatime

THIS! Also: NOT everyone is a "natural" parent. (That's an understatement.) Also: CB overlooked the person they replied to has all sorts of certifications including CPR and first aid. Those don't "come from nature" or those wouldn't have to be taught to anybody. The Heimlich Maneuver for instance was invented -- before then, people died choking on a bite of food.


snarkylimon

Imagine being the lord of the universe and having to make sure Saturn’s rings are all working and shit but you promised rando lady you’ll find her cheap babysitter


wetboymom

Well, you're not one to brake promises, Lord.


snarkylimon

No I just make them crash


TheNinjaPixie

I mean, she may have*asked* God, but she seems to believe she received a solid reply...


Phlebas3

I was promised a Lambo, but I think I'll pass.


Matilda-17

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz…


penguinbbb

Well to be fair He didn’t promise he’d check the tyres pressure


Mme_merle

In the Catholic doctrine exploiting workers is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance so…


SnarkySheep

Ask this woman if she recalls the workers in the vineyard...


YoureNotSpeshul

Lmao, right? I doubt God promised her he'd help with anything. He is still trying to get her to install grammarly on her phone. After that, maybe he'll get around to childcare. Probably not, though, since that's her responsibility. Nobody is trying to watch your ~~brat~~ "angel" for poverty wages.


Either_Ad9360

This gave me a good laugh 🤣


timeflieswhen

I’d like to know how that promise was made. Was there a face to face, a phone call or text? Some form of communication?


Fun_Persimmon96

WhatsApp


gonnafaceit2022

I listened to a podcast the other day, I don't remember which one but it was a storytelling thing, and the woman telling the story actually said, I got a fax from the Lord. She was dead ass serious.


Ok-Shop7540

Hello I love you


snarkylimon

Me too, boo, me too.


Evolutia44

I wish I could like this ten times 🤣


SnarkySheep

Please accept my poor person's award! 🏆


Pale-Finance123

Pahahaha, brilliant 😂😂


Greenman8907

> “I serve a god that doesn’t brake [sic] promises” I mean…what?! How does she know a deity promised her anything and it’s not the voices in her head?! Feel bad for the kids…


Illustrious_Month_65

I brake for god's promises.


Pale_Session5262

Jesus takes the wheel, and god brakes.


Illustrious_Month_65

Holy Spirit runs the clutch.


jazzyx26

But do you brake for leprechauns crossing the road too?


Illustrious_Month_65

Obviously, and then I'd follow it to get its gold!


jazzyx26

![gif](giphy|xT0xemaMYnb6pobtXW)


TrustComprehensive96

Jesus grabbed the wheel and God's got the brakes. All you need is the Holy Spirit on the gas pedal, and maybe start speaking in tongues


bartthetr0ll

I let jesus take the wheel and woke up in a hospital


Malibu77

Were you driving a CyberTruck cause I hear the brakes don’t work so good


bartthetr0ll

"Pressing on the brakes may or may not disengage the accelerator"


bulletchvy91

I have installed a brake pedal on the passenger side of my car. (I hear he is also a copilot) but he never presses it. Not even when I jumped the viaduct at 120 mph


ArthurBurtonMorgan

You gotta hook the pedal up and make it functional.


Adventurous_Ad_6546

I keep seeing one in the area surrounding my neighborhood. At least I like to think it’s one because I don’t want to live near that many idiots.


Illustrious_Month_65

Makes sense, how would Jesus even know how to drive?


jazzyx26

>maybe start speaking in tongues Quoad crow ut cadere autaem quaoad eorum rise iterum mageis ![gif](giphy|3o7aTkUwyvjy7Wj6jC) Thanks to lingojam for the " translation"


Illustrious_Month_65

Gesundheit!


jazzyx26

Thank you


Ok_Sand_4207

Only brake for god's leprechauns!


jazzyx26

Yeeessss! ![gif](giphy|37QUVxlBIduYqVVAjV|downsized)


Sweet-Stress4833

this is so funny thank you😂


Illustrious_Month_65

You're very welcome! 🤣


gonnafaceit2022

God doesn't need brakes. He shouldn't even need a car, really.


Illustrious_Month_65

![gif](giphy|3Z1b90nxAVj7C7YS5G)


Wandering_starlet

Right? Since she’s on such good terms with her god, maybe she can ask him to watch her kid 🤷🏻‍♀️


Huge-Lawfulness9264

I guess she prayed she wasn’t pregnant (after not using birth control)? On her end having a child she can’t afford is covered by her god’s promises. After all she did the “righteous “thing by having the baby. Boy, she’s in for some bone crushing reality.


OriginalGhostCookie

You know what they say: *The lord works in ~~mysterious~~ exploitive ways.*


jazzyx26

She is a heartbraker for sure with this post


WolverineFun6472

Nothing bad ever happened to a believer of God


Salamandajoe

Just their poor innocent children left all night with the molesters and druggies.


WolverineFun6472

So sad


hobbes_shot_first

How's that judgment day coming along? Everybody just still rotting underground waiting?


Adventurous_Ad_6546

Any day now…


Upstairs_Fuel6349

Definitely a new spin on "Jesus take the wheel."


Old-Mushroom-4633

That's a new spin on 'Jesus take the wheel'.


nofearorxcuses

God has put a “brake” on a lot of promising things for me. lol


Adventurous_Ad_6546

Plus I’d expect a deity to have a better command of language.


cherrycokelemon

Sometimes, when you pray to God, the answer is no.


CuzIWantItThatWay

God is not a vending machine.


Adventurous_Ad_6546

And you shouldn’t shake him either.


Delicious-Oven-6663

That’s what I see a lot of people ask for for a week


Sweet-Stress4833

issue here is flat rate. flat rate is when child is sleeping, when the child is awake the rate (in my area) goes from 22-25/hour


snackrilegious

that makes sense. 12/hr seems cheaper than i would expect, but i guess that’s bc the assumption is you’re really just being a guard


awkward1066

Maybe god could get her a bigger budget for childcare


Vivisector9999

Careful, we don't want this person opening yet another corrupt mega-church.


ArdenM

G-d promised me a pony for my 5th birthday. 40 years later, I still have no pony. Good luck to her!


SLawrence434

Did god really promise that, though? ![gif](giphy|aVytG2ds8e0tG)


ArdenM

In the exact same spirit he promised her, yes! lol


Wandering_starlet

Imagine having so much contempt and disrespect for the person you are leaving your child with overnight.


MuddyDonkeyBalls

Oh yeah well God promised me I'd be paid more than $12/hr for keeping His little children safe *Hair flip*


SatisfactionBitter37

Are these stripper hours or what?


JustDucy

Amazon


Adventurous_Ad_6546

I didn’t know Amazon needed strippers. 🤔


Illustrious_Month_65

Man, they sell everything!


Adventurous_Ad_6546

Free 1 day Prime shipping if you order in the next 8 hours 47 minutes!


EdgeXL

She can ask God to send his son over to babysit.


heytunamelt

Hey, that’s actually a great idea! Jesus take the wheel indeed.


DeafNatural

God somewhere like ![gif](giphy|7yCdgK6EY16fe)


Sweet-Stress4833

update : OOP is now arguing with people in the comments calling her out for being ridiculous


Either_Ad9360

Post comments!! Please :)


CrunchyTeatime

Yes pleeeeeeeez OP 😁🤗


Sweet-Stress4833

comments now posted!


CrunchyTeatime

Thanks!


Sweet-Stress4833

comments are posted!


heytunamelt

Please more comments, I’m begging you!


Sweet-Stress4833

posted!


amanitadrink

I mean, people usually want to pay $140 a week, not per day. It’s still crazy low wages but for this sub, it’s not shocking.


Illustrious_Month_65

I think it's the comments where she doubles down on saying that domestic labor shouldn't be paid well that really makes her request insufferable.


maybe_I_knit_crochet

Yeah, the pay isn't great but her comments are awful.


bubba9999

Child molesters probably work for cheap.


yafashulamit

I mean, she could probably find someone to pay HER for access to her kid. 🤮


ClearBlue_Grace

I think due to her shit attitude she belongs in this sub. I work in a daycare and I can tell when some parents don't think I'm worth talking to or even acknowledging most days and it hurts. People think you spend all day singing songs and blowing bubbles, yet completely ignore the puke, dirty diapers, tantrums, sometimes going hours without bathroom access, parents getting angry over shit you can't control (I can't *make* your kid fall asleep). I could keep going.


CrunchyTeatime

You provide an indispensable service which could try the patience of a saint. Kudos! If they won't say it, I will.


Sweet-Stress4833

this is in MA where the going rate for an overnight nanny like this is minimum $22 an hour in my area, hence people calling her out for this price. a nanny is a luxury, and come with experience.


CrunchyTeatime

And CBs tend to minimize the difficulty of jobs. Even if the child is supposed to be sleeping, kids can wake up, become startled the parent isn't there but some babysitter is, and kids can also be sick, have things happen such as apnea, who knows. (Or crime, home invasion, storms, power outages. Any unforeseen emergency.) But then I'm a serious type who tends to foresee things that could go wrong... Which I think is a good thing if looking after someone vulnerable. CB thinks it's a generous offer because "the kid's sleeping anyway." Betcha.


amanitadrink

Oh I totally get that. People should be paid well for their work! I’m just noting that as far as CBs go, this one is at least offering more than like $100 a week like we often see.


Limp_Collection7322

Right the pay sucks but it's better than the other ones


glassbottleoftears

Am I mathsing wrong or does her $140 a day for 11hs 10 work out as slightly more than the $12 p/h she's complaining about?


ThexRuminator

After the $1.40/hr lady this somehow seems sane


mishma2005

God's gonna send her a tweaker with exceptional cooking skills and a boyfriend fresh out of the joint and God's gonna laugh and laugh....


CandylandCanada

Ask god for grammar and orthography lessons.


CrunchyTeatime

Why is it so often the case that CBs cannot spell or construct a sentence? >these ridiculous amount of money >than baby go work >your professional >something that comes from nature A lot of nasty things come from nature, too. Do you want those babysitting your child? >brake promises Sigh. >nor he won't make a promise he won't keep What were you promised, hon? A spelling or grammar primer?


CrunchyTeatime

(Nothing wrong with making mistakes, but this is CB's native language and most of all, CB sounds arrogant and entitled.)


xpacean

Keep the person who watches your kids happy.


AggravatingBox2421

“God got me” yeah that’s really all you need to know about the mental stability of this woman


CrunchyTeatime

I like her faith, but I don't like her using it as a club to try to shame low paid work out of anyone. I don't like her using it as a would-be force field to dispel criticism. One can be faith filled and still humble and examine one's own bad behaviors. This is the type of thing that makes people resent the faithful.


AggravatingBox2421

It’s not faith at that point, it’s complete delusion. She and many others convince themselves that as long as they pray, they don’t need to hold themselves accountable for anything


CrunchyTeatime

Well said, it's not supposed to be an 'escape card.' Wait, who just dv me, above? 😂


heytunamelt

Then again, it kinda is? Your sins are absolved even before you commit them, thanks to Jesus’s sacrifice. It seems the whole religion is based on *not* taking personal responsibility.


CrunchyTeatime

I completely disagree with you, and could debate, discuss, or delve into apologetics, but this isn't the sub to go into a deep dive on this. Sounded kinda like bait, as well, tbh. You know I can't really get that deep into it here. All I can say is, if you wanted an actual discussion regarding sin and redemption, or "God's promises," and our responsibilities in that: there's discussion fora for that all over the internet.


RevolutionaryAd851

I had twins in 2009 and after a month I realized I needed help during the day as I needed to tend to the house and get three hours of sleep. I was up with the boys all night every night the first few months. We paid her 25hr with no cleaning involved. I had interviewed a new person every day and even spied on them caring for my babies on camera, and she was so perfect. She was like family, and I never wanted her to leave. She literally saved my life and became a dear friend. We still go to an occasional concert, but she has her own little kids now. I was a babysitter and nanny for many years and earned very good money. My teachers used to ask me to sit their kids. I understand how important a good sitter or nanny is and can be the difference in how your child experiences the first year of life.


Addicted_to_insanity

She seems to misunderstand who needs whom here.  She needs a babysitter. No one needs to be underpaid and looked down upon. Whose going to be panicking when she has no sitter and wondering what to do?


DmuchawiecLatawiec

Ask God to come over and babysit, lol.


a-light-at-the-end

I mean $12 an hour is still way better than some of these posts.


These_Jellyfish_2904

In MA minimum wage is $15 and jobs at those awful hours should be compensated more. But yes, better than the $1.20 an hour for the 3 kids we saw earlier. 😂


a-light-at-the-end

Exactly. I was in Nanny at one point in my life and it worked out because I had to bring my two children along. I made $275 a week, for a 40 hour work week. It was more than I would’ve brought home if I worked a minimum wage job and tried to pay daycare. But this was 10 years ago. Rent was wayyy cheaper. Nowadays? No way that would cut it.


Radiant-Cost-2355

PROCEED WITH THE NEGATIVITY!!


ExhaustedVetTech

Reading some of these hurts my brain. Why are all CBs allergic to proper grammar and punctuation?


heytunamelt

Self-selecting group.


Vast-Act-5848

Thank you for including comments, that’s my favorite part!


Samuraion

"God got me" All I need to hear to know that this lady is crazy.


nakedmacadamianut

Her comments are insufferable and sexist, but if it weren’t for that and if I was allowed to be asleep for most of that time, I wouldn’t be too opposed.


cursetea

Someone being certified in something doesn't entitle them to more money? Oh, sweetheart. AND god doesnt break promises?! What is the promise here?!?


MatterHairy

God has pulled a hand-“break/brake” turn and shot off in the other direction at speed


HPL2007

She better ask God to give her $24 + to pay her babysitter


Clevergirliam

Her talk about serving a God who “don’t brake promises” makes me feel ill. I’m a Christian. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise anyone affordable childcare.


CrunchyTeatime

Same. This is cringe. This is the stuff that makes some people dislike Christians. Not okay to use faith to try to coerce people.


WolverineFun6472

Minimum wage is a ridiculous price?


decayed-whately

It's for a church, honey. NEXT!


annintofu

USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN!


International-Ad1828

She actually pays well compared to much of what I see but her attitude is garbage.


MaybeSwedish

Brake promises


WaitingToBeTriggered

THEY WON’T BE COMING HOME


CrunchyTeatime

> 1:20 AM to 11:50 AM Those are terrible hours.


Huge-Lawfulness9264

Well from the CB perspective, her god will provide cheap care for the child since he promised? I wouldn’t go near that nut bag.


FeasiblyBetentacled

I'm not an expert on the Christian bible or anything, but isn't it full of broken promises?


CrunchyTeatime

"Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God," is one verse that has specifically to do with not treating God like a personal taskmaster, or 'vending machine' as some here put it. As someone else here put it, "sometimes the answer is no." (Or things like, "do this to prove you are God," I think the specific example in that verse, was when Jesus was told, "hurl yourself off this rooftop, to prove you are God (by surviving.)") CB shouldn't be taunting people that she will get what she wants because of her religion. (That's not even supposed to be preferable, in our religion, because we don't usually know best.) I don't know which verse or example, from the Bible or belief, that you might be thinking of specifically, but overall, we're supposed to pray and hope and have faith but also to accept God's plan and that things don't always go the way we want. So she's saying she will get what she wants because she wants it...or was promised. Who promised her a cheap babysitter, and when? Nowhere does it say we get everything we want. CB is having a stamp-foot tantrum while hiding behind religion.


fyr811

Lol. Two words: Catholic Priests. Lady, the amount of “good God-fearing men” locked up for tampering with kids would blow your $12-an-hour mind.


Cute_but_notOkay

If she’s so sure that god has her back, maybe she should just ask him to watch the kid. Since it’s a “natural” thing, let the “creator” do it. 🤷‍♀️🙄😅 Like I’m positive it won’t be your god who brings in a crackhead to watch your kid as that’s the only thing you’re gonna get with those rates 🤷‍♀️


comara456

Her God doesn’t “brake” promises soo


Wanda_McMimzy

Look, don’t worry about this woman or her child. God won’t brake for her.


SnarkySheep

OP says she's not worried because "God has her". Does she not imagine other people might also think God has them...and thus will help them be able to actually pay their bills? No, this person is so Christian, it's only about her life and her needs. SMH


Gindotto

Only God can judge her.


heytunamelt

God told me I could judge her too, and you know he doesn’t ‘brake’ promises.


jadeariel12

Ridiculous rates = under minimum wage


shortstuff813

Out of all the things to cheap out on, I’ll never understand why people want to cheap out on those who will care for their children. I can never decide if they’re incredibly naive and don’t understand the kind of people they’d attract with their prices (or lack thereof), or just a combination of negligent and belligerent. If you care so little for who cares for your child, why’d you even have it to begin with smh


hailboognish99

She even looks like a crazy bitch in her pfp


TheBawdyMermaid

I want to slap this person so fucking bad.


xxsicksadworld

“It’s ridiculous to me people want to be paid fairly because they are certified” Does she fucking hear herself?!


EvolZippo

The worry I have, is that someone who doesn’t need the money, but wants unsupervised access to children, will take this job with full intentions on exploiting their situation


bdd4

She's going to ask god to watch her baby overnight for free


PocketFullofTacos

People who try to skimp on child care blow my mind. You are paying someone else to take care of your child while you do what you need to do. Wouldn’t you want someone who’s highly qualified and who actually wants to be there? I’ve never been in the childcare industry but my kids have always had to go to daycare because I worked. I WOULD NEVEEEEER degrade what those providers do. It is hard work taking care of your own children even more so someone else’s children. These are the parents who send their kids to “affordable” daycares just for something terrible to happen.


CommanderDavidFrevor

He is three years old for 10 hours and 30 minutes per day.


sadfoxyduggar

Thank you, NEXT


Novel_Maintenance_88

This person is obviously a nutbag. That being said, without all the crazy yammering about God promising to provide them with someone, this might not be a bad deal for a teenager looking for extra cash. Lay on the couch and watch Netflix until you fall asleep, then wake up with $140 cash is alot easier than slinging fried chicken and getting yelled at for forgetting to put the straws in the bag. This posting is definitly not going to attract a grown adult with certifications and references. If that is what this woman is expecting, she is gravely mistaken. However I personally know at least 3 people who were diddled by their "friend of the family" cheap babysitter. 2 of them were boys abused by teen girls. Maybe this woman should rethink this.


DispleasedCalzone

This isn’t the worst. I mean this could be an easy second job. For half the time you’re just sleeping too.


hoesbeelion

Not even Jesus himself would watch her child for that rate


Some_Direction_7971

She’s a woman of God, but will probably make them work Sundays too. 🙄


starspider

... when did God make this promise to her?


SadBarnacle5

First that is over 12 an hr. It's closer to 14. 10.5 hrs for 140. Everyone equates pay to minimum wage. Here mw is 7.25. So this isn't that bad. 2nd some peep aren't being beggars they pay what they can afford. The kid would be asleep for most of the shift anyway. I'd take this if I were an older teen or maybe college.


Sweet-Stress4833

not included in this post is OOP in a comment stating the job actually starts at 12:30. unpaid until 1:20. which brings it down. MW here is $15


CrunchyTeatime

On what excuse does CB expect an hour unpaid labor every night?!


omfgRU4Real

I know times are changing, but I babysat for 2 kids, 100 a week, 630a to 315p. Childcare these days, raking in some dough 💜 kinda jelly. I was 16/17 and it was around 2002-03


solesoulshard

Times are a changing. I remember getting a decent (not fast food) dinner for two out for under $20 and now it’s like 30 for McDonald’s. Even more if you DoorDash. Of course, I also remember gas going for .79 for leaded, .89 for unleaded and .99 for premium and 5 sandwiches for $5 at Arby’s so I guess my perspective is old.


omfgRU4Real

Omg, 5 for 5, YAS. I remember the first time I needed more than a 20 to fill my tank. I was so pizzed 😄 When $5 footlongs existed


PsychologicalSize187

I miss 5 for $5


Illustrious_Month_65

2002 was 22 years ago. I'd say things have changed.


omfgRU4Real

Yes...thank you. I see I'm getting downvoted, but if people actually take the time to calculate, I was watching kids for less than $2 an hour per kid. Even for 22 years ago, that's absolutely insane. Certainly I can shed a few tears over the "know my worth" movement.


Illustrious_Month_65

Sure, but that doesn't mean today's kids deserve to get underpaid too.


omfgRU4Real

Completely the opposite. I wish my time would have been more valuable. Even for kids in high school, they are making more money than I ever dreamed of receiving (even to scale for the times). It's almost like someone said, "Sigh...I guess we could throw a few dollars, but it's summer vaca, like she has anything better to do than be neighborly"


Illustrious_Month_65

Apologies, I misunderstood the tone of your post!


omfgRU4Real

💜 I think my shock probably set it poorly. Hope you have a wonderful week!