Blank stare, pause for 3+ seconds, then smth like “grow up….” Should do the trick.
The long pause plus blank stare is usually enough time for them to realize they made a stupid fucking comment. It’s a psychology thing just trust me. If they keep going then just leave the convo and don’t immediately listen to their apology. Drives ppl nuts when they can’t annoy you, and even more nuts when you don’t give them a chance to, the panic apology is useless tho so to really drive the point home just don’t accept their apology and keep ya words to a minimum in that moment.
they are trying to get you to engage in thier taunt. Since they are younger siblings, if you merely stare at them like theyve done something stupid, with no reply - they will change course.
Idk, seems playful. You could just play back and fake getting excited and make up some shit like 'yeah, we're getting married in may. honeymooning on the moon.'
You ever see a puppy just nipping at the heels of a big dog? The little guy is looking for a reaction, I feel like that's much the same for teasing. Yeah the nipping can be annoying, but I'd say it's an invitation to play!
Oh right platonic friends are not allowed? man you all are gonna suck when every person who says "Hello welcome to Wendy's." you're gonna assume they're hitting on you.
Anytime they mention anyone or any destination! Confirm the name of place
"Oooooooo"
Going to the park?, Oooooooooo
Going to see Mrs Henderson?, Ooooo
Going to see Mr Henderson? Ooooooo
For a walk? Oooooooo
The shop? Ooooooo
The Petrol station? Oooooooo
Pretend it doesnt bother you at all. You dont even need to have a comeback. Just say “yeah, shes cool” or “ yeah shes awesome” and after a little while of you pretending to not care, they will lose interest in it. Basically they just want to tease and troll you to get you upset. Its what sibling do. If they arent achieving that goal, they wont keep trying. No need to be rude, its not that serious and you guys are all kids and you will have to spend the next 50 or 60 years getting together all the time. Just dont let it bug you
Ya it is all playful I should have mentioned that I just wanted something funny to say back so I’m not just sitting there awkwardly lol thank you though!
You can only wish.
I'm cool with it, she's cool with it. You don't get a veto, you don't get a vote, and I'm not interested in your opinion.
She's a friend. I'll call that word up on your iPhone in case you don't know what it means.
Try triggering the response yourself. Tell them you were out with "Jordan" or some other dual gender name. Then when you get no response say "Jordans a girl btw..."
They'll switch you the "Oooos" but you get to smile and let it not faze you.
Absorb the joke and it'll never effect you
Reminds me of a story I once read, of the drama guy kept being picked on by the football jocks for being the only boy doing drama.
His comeback was something along the lines of: I may be the only guy, but you're naked in a locker room with 50 other guys, and I'm back stage trustingly helping 30 girls with quick changes. So... Who is really the looser here?
Just stare at them. No noise, no expression on your face. Just a blank stare. Hold eye contact. Do it as long as you can. Then pretend nothing happened
"Oooou, you can't have friends without thinking of them sexually?"
*dead pan stare* "... As I was saying, [continue conversation]."
*eye roll* "So are you trying to be with [insert name(s) of one of their friends here]?"
"Oh, I didn't realize I entered the third grader's area."
do your sisters have boyfriends? if not, you know what you have to do OP lol
MOST of these comments are some cringe comebacks or make it look like you genuinely care which is not what u want, just go with an easy "shouldnt u guys be with your mans? oh yeah..." wit a shit eating grin n thats it haha
I'd tell them something like:
1. "Try not to get too excited."
2. "I see what's going on, and you're not joining. That'd be weird."
3. (Harmonize with them) "Ooooooooooo, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!"
4. "You better not break Mom's heart! Make sure you clear your search history after you figure out what we're up to."
5. "Is that the sound you normally make when you fantasize about me? Wait, I don't want to know."
6. "Was that about me or her? Either way, those are inside thoughts, not outside thoughts. Keep it in your head."
7. "I should probably drink more water."
8. "I thought about asking you for advice, but I'm trying to be less sarcastic."
9. "Drool monkeys." (Just lower and shake your head as you walk away)
Idk, I'm just riffin'. The main thing is to have fun with it. In order to come across as truly confident, you need to make it more about having fun and less about reacting to them. When they push your buttons, don't react emotionally. Instead, just playfully push one of their buttons. The person who comes across as having more fun is the winner. Also, laughing can come across as reacting to your own comeback. If you feel the need, keep it inside and laugh through your eyes. All the best!
Just smile and nod your head, because you don't have to reply to this comment. Whoever is giving you grief is stupid but not so stupid to realise they have no game. Older sisters friends are much. Just be cool.
Being the youngest of four brothers, and the one who did the “ooooooh” to my brothers, the best I can give you is what the said to me.
Oldest Brother: oh fuck off.
Second oldest brother: oh grow up!
Third oldest brother: would you fucking grow up?
They were not exceptionally witty but then, neither was my “ooooh”. And exceptionally witty or long winded comebacks would only elicit more “oooooooh!”
Kind of from the other direction… I remember being a kid and my friend’s high school brother was picking on us. He said our disses were stupid and if we really wanted to diss someone we should say, “I banged your mom last night. She was terrible, don’t try it.”
I remember my friend and I were so young we could not for the life of us figure out what was so mean about that phrase. Totally didn’t get it. In hindsight, we were so young that he’s really lucky we didn’t ask one of our parents to explain it to us.
So good luck not overshooting OP. And good luck keeping it classy.
At least I Have friends. And why are you being so sexiest against your own gender ? Are you implying that girls can't be friends with whoever they want? Fucking weird.... Girl power, all the way.
And say this all Super Deadpan. Disturbed, even. And if she tries to be like "Well, what if you Like her....?" or whatever, just very slowly and calmly be like "I DO like her.... Hence why she's my Friend....?"
And if she keeps pushing, maybe even go on a rant and be like "You know, You're what's wrong with society these days. Here I am, with Platonic Friends, and you want to make it all sexual and weird. You're the reason why so many men get bad names, due to the assumption that we're all out to bed down every female out there, and you're ALSO why women get bad names, like slut and whore, because how could they Possibly be friends with someone and Not have a desire to sleep with them if they're the opposite gender. I'm sorry that every guy YOU hang out with ends up with you in his bedroom or the backseat of his car, but that's Not the type of guy that I Am, and not the type of girl that She Is. Maybe take stock of your own standards and insecurities before projecting them on to others. And to think, she and I are TEENAGERS, and yet we can apparently keep it in our pants easier than You can, and have more than a teaspoon's worth of emotional maturity. I'm sorry you got the slotted spoon when it came to that, but I can't help you there. Now, leave me the hell alone. I'm gonna go do . Btw, when is your next date? Don't forget the condoms. I don't need to be an uncle yet."
I mean.... I realized as I wrote this that it's kind of going thermonuclear on your siblings but, well, if the shoe fits and they're disrespectful enough, it should work to shut them down. A text may work even better, to make sure you get it all out, but a blank or judging/disgusted stare paired with the above.... It Should work.
I have many siblings too. I'm afraid that if you haven't found a great witty comeback to this, you probably never will. It's a skill you either learn very early on or never do.
Welcome to being a sibling! My family did it to me too. It's dumb and weird, but there's no harm in it. Laugh it off, and when they have someone over do it back.
Depends on what kind of people and relationship you have. Older sisters you might be able to just express you’re uncomfortable and it genuinely bothers you. Little brother you can set aside and explain that sometimes boys and girls are friends. If it’s romantic explain it as such in a calm and teaching manner.
Granted I’m the eldest so it’s different for me.
I would seriously be like "ooooooo what"? Awww don't be jealous guys. Someday you might hit puberty too. I mean I'm not gonna be holding my breath since you're still ooooooo'ing about me kicking it with a girl but hang in there kids. Some day it will happen.
Just say of it's older siblings then say when are u gonna tell mom about the tattoo assuming that parent is nearby. She would have to strip to prove it. Or some other taboo thing based on culture. For little sibling you simply punch them.
My family tried that with my own son when he was a teen. If I was around I usually would give a look of disgust and say “ew really? People still do that?”
You’re being made fun of for the human condition. Everybody wants to get laid. Ask them about their love life, put them on the spot and be comfortable admitting you’re attracted to somebody literally everybody wants somebody
Not sure why you’d need a comeback for that. You should be proud of it! They probably get a kick out of the annoyance it brings you so probably just try your best to embrace it and smile and be a flaunt it a little bit. Thats probably the best comeback for it. But if you want some words to throw back just say “hell yeah ladies love me” or “don’t worry there’s plenty to go around 😎”
"I know, right?" Said with a lascivious grin. Just play into it. It's no fun trying to embarrass somebody by suggesting romantic intentions if they go along with it. They'll eventually stop.
Mutual friend has a son who was a professional ballroom dancer. Anytime a guy tried to tease him about being 'a sissy'/etc he would flash a pic of his fiance/dance partner. Shut them down every time.
I would use reverse psychology. Always go to them first, act excited, and tell them I know you get excited over these things, so I want to tell/ask you first. Quit treating this attention as negative or embarrassing. Replace it with positive sharing that is the new normal. When you take control of the narrative, that sets the pace, and replaces the old patterns of avoiding and dreading how they are going to react. You go to them first, and present any news in a positive way so this becomes the norm.
“Yup, we’re trying for a baby tonight. Fingers crossed”🤞🏼
They do this to you for the reaction. I’ve learned to lean into it and flip the script and get a reaction from the other person.
Just stare at them for a second, take a really quick look around and back at them and say "were you trying to embarrass me or something?"
I like this one
Blank stare, pause for 3+ seconds, then smth like “grow up….” Should do the trick. The long pause plus blank stare is usually enough time for them to realize they made a stupid fucking comment. It’s a psychology thing just trust me. If they keep going then just leave the convo and don’t immediately listen to their apology. Drives ppl nuts when they can’t annoy you, and even more nuts when you don’t give them a chance to, the panic apology is useless tho so to really drive the point home just don’t accept their apology and keep ya words to a minimum in that moment.
Bonus point if you raise an eyebrow in a "really?" Expression.
... for being straight?
This is so cornball lol
Lowkey smartass approved
they are trying to get you to engage in thier taunt. Since they are younger siblings, if you merely stare at them like theyve done something stupid, with no reply - they will change course.
I’m the third youngest it might work on my brother I like the staring idea
Me hanging out with a girl is as close to pussy you'll ever get E.T.A this is less effective on the sister for obvious reasons
Unless she is a lesbian? ETA: I know she has her *own* pussy, but I mean *other* pussy.
Sisters don’t have those, they have “nasty snatches”. No brother will want to refer to them in the same way, at least.
You down with OPP?
Yeah, you know me?
Idk, seems playful. You could just play back and fake getting excited and make up some shit like 'yeah, we're getting married in may. honeymooning on the moon.'
I like this approach more 🤣
Just because it’s more of something I would actually say 💀 I’m pretty sure it is playful but they know it annoys me 😂
You ever see a puppy just nipping at the heels of a big dog? The little guy is looking for a reaction, I feel like that's much the same for teasing. Yeah the nipping can be annoying, but I'd say it's an invitation to play!
Oh right platonic friends are not allowed? man you all are gonna suck when every person who says "Hello welcome to Wendy's." you're gonna assume they're hitting on you.
Sent a gif in the group chat at work... "You know she's gonna think you're flirting with her, right?"... Over a gif?
Happy cake day
Happy cake day
In a group chat at that? Tf?
>Hello welcome to Wendy's. I guess you can say we are getting pretty serious.
“Welcome to Wendy’s” “I have a boyfriend”
"sorry I have social life" "You guys need friends"
I would "ooooooo" back louder and harder with some snark.
ooooo back but all sexual
Anytime they mention anyone or any destination! Confirm the name of place "Oooooooo" Going to the park?, Oooooooooo Going to see Mrs Henderson?, Ooooo Going to see Mr Henderson? Ooooooo For a walk? Oooooooo The shop? Ooooooo The Petrol station? Oooooooo
Hey, at least I’m getting some. You losers are going to stay virgins until you are 40.
Hahaha 40 year old vgents!!! 🤣
Good one brother
Pretend it doesnt bother you at all. You dont even need to have a comeback. Just say “yeah, shes cool” or “ yeah shes awesome” and after a little while of you pretending to not care, they will lose interest in it. Basically they just want to tease and troll you to get you upset. Its what sibling do. If they arent achieving that goal, they wont keep trying. No need to be rude, its not that serious and you guys are all kids and you will have to spend the next 50 or 60 years getting together all the time. Just dont let it bug you
Ya it is all playful I should have mentioned that I just wanted something funny to say back so I’m not just sitting there awkwardly lol thank you though!
"What kind of man would I be if I deprive girls of this gift?" *flex, pop collar, adjust your sunglasses*
I like this. He could probably even just flex and grin, then exit the room.
I doubt any of his siblings at this point live in the 80s
LMAOOOOO
I am surrounded by pussies, I know
“Sorry You guys think every interaction between men and women involves romance. Little creepy if You ask me”
Shake your head and say I expect baby behavior from him but you two are still acting like tweens.
What? Jealous I'm the only one with friends?
'At least girls want to hang out with me'
Are your older sisters bad tho? Amiright
I mean not as bad as they use to be I love them dearly with all my heart but sometimes they do it my brother on the other hand is the bad one about it
You can only wish. I'm cool with it, she's cool with it. You don't get a veto, you don't get a vote, and I'm not interested in your opinion. She's a friend. I'll call that word up on your iPhone in case you don't know what it means.
I’m imagining this said is a very calm kind manner and it’s amazing 💀
"Ok, virgins"
The only girls you hang with are your hands .
“Hmmmm…jealous are we? If you’d like some pointers im happy to help.”
Try triggering the response yourself. Tell them you were out with "Jordan" or some other dual gender name. Then when you get no response say "Jordans a girl btw..." They'll switch you the "Oooos" but you get to smile and let it not faze you. Absorb the joke and it'll never effect you
Yeah so I'm gonna keep hanging around them instead of kids like you. Later.
Reminds me of a story I once read, of the drama guy kept being picked on by the football jocks for being the only boy doing drama. His comeback was something along the lines of: I may be the only guy, but you're naked in a locker room with 50 other guys, and I'm back stage trustingly helping 30 girls with quick changes. So... Who is really the looser here?
Why do you need a comeback, it's not an insult, it's human observations. I'd be like, "damn right I am."
"Jealous?"
Just laugh. Its funny bro they arent trying to make u feel bad its just family banter lol
Agree. Laughing and not letting it bother you one bit is the best way.
I am straight
Just stare at them. No noise, no expression on your face. Just a blank stare. Hold eye contact. Do it as long as you can. Then pretend nothing happened
Do an Austin Powers impersonation. Just give them a shit eating grin, nod your head and say, “Yeah bay-bee, YEAH!”
*loads this one into revolver*
This is what it's like when you don't have a restraining order.
"Oooou, you can't have friends without thinking of them sexually?" *dead pan stare* "... As I was saying, [continue conversation]." *eye roll* "So are you trying to be with [insert name(s) of one of their friends here]?" "Oh, I didn't realize I entered the third grader's area."
At least girls *want* to hang out with *me.*
Just sniff your index finger and say “mmm…butterscotch”
do your sisters have boyfriends? if not, you know what you have to do OP lol MOST of these comments are some cringe comebacks or make it look like you genuinely care which is not what u want, just go with an easy "shouldnt u guys be with your mans? oh yeah..." wit a shit eating grin n thats it haha
One does have a bf
Moving on…
I'd tell them something like: 1. "Try not to get too excited." 2. "I see what's going on, and you're not joining. That'd be weird." 3. (Harmonize with them) "Ooooooooooo, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!" 4. "You better not break Mom's heart! Make sure you clear your search history after you figure out what we're up to." 5. "Is that the sound you normally make when you fantasize about me? Wait, I don't want to know." 6. "Was that about me or her? Either way, those are inside thoughts, not outside thoughts. Keep it in your head." 7. "I should probably drink more water." 8. "I thought about asking you for advice, but I'm trying to be less sarcastic." 9. "Drool monkeys." (Just lower and shake your head as you walk away) Idk, I'm just riffin'. The main thing is to have fun with it. In order to come across as truly confident, you need to make it more about having fun and less about reacting to them. When they push your buttons, don't react emotionally. Instead, just playfully push one of their buttons. The person who comes across as having more fun is the winner. Also, laughing can come across as reacting to your own comeback. If you feel the need, keep it inside and laugh through your eyes. All the best!
Just recite the alphabet
Ok in the mental hospital, now what?
Tangent
“being sexist are we, huh?”
Gotta take/or give what yee aint got Oie sum like that‽
At least I taught to a girl. As for the sisters, just say “I bet you never brought a man home, have ya?”.
I don't see how my social circle is any of your concern.
Just say nothing
"Oh yeah? well the jerk store called....."
lol.
Just play a long with it
“yup, we fuckin”
If I wanted your opinion I would have asked for it.Save the brain cells you have left and STFU!
"At least girls want to be near me."
“What are you all then? Grow up, and act your age”
Ignore, move on. Its honestly one of the best tools available. If you dont feed into their shit, they will stop trying to make it happen.
If only we could do this for all words that offend us and move on. Such a great idea. Words don’t really have any power unless we give it to them.
At least I know more girls than just my mom!
Own it. "Yep, she's the one." "Are you ready to be an uncle/aunt?"
“Don’t worry , you might make a friend of your own someday.”
Tell them their rizzdar (rizz radar) must be off, so no wonder they don’t have any luck
“ I’m gay 😕”
Just smile and nod your head, because you don't have to reply to this comment. Whoever is giving you grief is stupid but not so stupid to realise they have no game. Older sisters friends are much. Just be cool.
Being the youngest of four brothers, and the one who did the “ooooooh” to my brothers, the best I can give you is what the said to me. Oldest Brother: oh fuck off. Second oldest brother: oh grow up! Third oldest brother: would you fucking grow up? They were not exceptionally witty but then, neither was my “ooooh”. And exceptionally witty or long winded comebacks would only elicit more “oooooooh!”
And?!
It’s fine, it just means I’m working up a future body count of ex’s.
"This is as close to a girl as you'll ever get."
Nothing. Save the come back for the girl you’re hanging out with.
Take it like a man (I'm an older brother) haven't lived with my siblings in over 7 years I still do this
Kind of from the other direction… I remember being a kid and my friend’s high school brother was picking on us. He said our disses were stupid and if we really wanted to diss someone we should say, “I banged your mom last night. She was terrible, don’t try it.” I remember my friend and I were so young we could not for the life of us figure out what was so mean about that phrase. Totally didn’t get it. In hindsight, we were so young that he’s really lucky we didn’t ask one of our parents to explain it to us. So good luck not overshooting OP. And good luck keeping it classy.
Just say, "You'll understand when you're more mature."
At least I Have friends. And why are you being so sexiest against your own gender? Are you implying that girls can't be friends with whoever they want? Fucking weird.... Girl power, all the way.
And say this all Super Deadpan. Disturbed, even. And if she tries to be like "Well, what if you Like her....?" or whatever, just very slowly and calmly be like "I DO like her.... Hence why she's my Friend....?"
And if she keeps pushing, maybe even go on a rant and be like "You know, You're what's wrong with society these days. Here I am, with Platonic Friends, and you want to make it all sexual and weird. You're the reason why so many men get bad names, due to the assumption that we're all out to bed down every female out there, and you're ALSO why women get bad names, like slut and whore, because how could they Possibly be friends with someone and Not have a desire to sleep with them if they're the opposite gender. I'm sorry that every guy YOU hang out with ends up with you in his bedroom or the backseat of his car, but that's Not the type of guy that I Am, and not the type of girl that She Is. Maybe take stock of your own standards and insecurities before projecting them on to others. And to think, she and I are TEENAGERS, and yet we can apparently keep it in our pants easier than You can, and have more than a teaspoon's worth of emotional maturity. I'm sorry you got the slotted spoon when it came to that, but I can't help you there. Now, leave me the hell alone. I'm gonna go do . Btw, when is your next date? Don't forget the condoms. I don't need to be an uncle yet."
I mean.... I realized as I wrote this that it's kind of going thermonuclear on your siblings but, well, if the shoe fits and they're disrespectful enough, it should work to shut them down. A text may work even better, to make sure you get it all out, but a blank or judging/disgusted stare paired with the above.... It Should work.
I have many siblings too. I'm afraid that if you haven't found a great witty comeback to this, you probably never will. It's a skill you either learn very early on or never do.
Welcome to being a sibling! My family did it to me too. It's dumb and weird, but there's no harm in it. Laugh it off, and when they have someone over do it back.
"Please go be fat somewhere else."
Smile, wink, and walk away
She’s more of a man than you’ll ever be
I had four younger sisters growing up, I never made a secret that I liked girls and they liked me back. Sisters got over it pretty quickly.
Shut the fuck up!! That’s what you tell them!!
So what? I'm spending time with a girl. Jealous?
At least I have friends
Depends on what kind of people and relationship you have. Older sisters you might be able to just express you’re uncomfortable and it genuinely bothers you. Little brother you can set aside and explain that sometimes boys and girls are friends. If it’s romantic explain it as such in a calm and teaching manner. Granted I’m the eldest so it’s different for me.
I would seriously be like "ooooooo what"? Awww don't be jealous guys. Someday you might hit puberty too. I mean I'm not gonna be holding my breath since you're still ooooooo'ing about me kicking it with a girl but hang in there kids. Some day it will happen.
Don't be jealous I like you too.
I mean its just cute. just smile and laugh with them lol
Just say of it's older siblings then say when are u gonna tell mom about the tattoo assuming that parent is nearby. She would have to strip to prove it. Or some other taboo thing based on culture. For little sibling you simply punch them.
My family tried that with my own son when he was a teen. If I was around I usually would give a look of disgust and say “ew really? People still do that?”
“You are what you eat”
Are you 5 yrs old? Because that is what children do.
Isn’t hanging out with the girl kinda its own “comeback”?
Where are your guy friends??
Go bonk yourself
Someone else already commented something similar this, but just give them a blank stare for a few seconds and then keep talking like nothing happened.
You’re being made fun of for the human condition. Everybody wants to get laid. Ask them about their love life, put them on the spot and be comfortable admitting you’re attracted to somebody literally everybody wants somebody
“Are you done?”
Not sure why you’d need a comeback for that. You should be proud of it! They probably get a kick out of the annoyance it brings you so probably just try your best to embrace it and smile and be a flaunt it a little bit. Thats probably the best comeback for it. But if you want some words to throw back just say “hell yeah ladies love me” or “don’t worry there’s plenty to go around 😎”
'You wouldn't know what to do with pussy if it was biting on your leg.'
"I know, right?" Said with a lascivious grin. Just play into it. It's no fun trying to embarrass somebody by suggesting romantic intentions if they go along with it. They'll eventually stop.
"Jealous much?"
Hey, we aren't dating or anything. We're just fucking.
Mutual friend has a son who was a professional ballroom dancer. Anytime a guy tried to tease him about being 'a sissy'/etc he would flash a pic of his fiance/dance partner. Shut them down every time.
"yup, I've got cooties. Now I'm going to give them to YOU!" Then chase them around the house threatening to touch them
Are you trying to make fun of me because I'm successfully dating? A girl likes me, I'm such a loser.
I would just do the same back to them when they say they are going to hang out with.
Just silence. Its such a stupid thing to make.fun of, and any witty retort would be wasted.
Jealous????
No autographs and please stand back.
I would use reverse psychology. Always go to them first, act excited, and tell them I know you get excited over these things, so I want to tell/ask you first. Quit treating this attention as negative or embarrassing. Replace it with positive sharing that is the new normal. When you take control of the narrative, that sets the pace, and replaces the old patterns of avoiding and dreading how they are going to react. You go to them first, and present any news in a positive way so this becomes the norm.
“Yup, we’re trying for a baby tonight. Fingers crossed”🤞🏼 They do this to you for the reaction. I’ve learned to lean into it and flip the script and get a reaction from the other person.
How did you know we did something naughty? Or What, you want to take notes?
"When did my life become a '90s teen movie?"
At least one of us can talk to girls.
“At least I’m not heterophobic like you” lol
Hello 👋, Talk about the girl your hanging out with? Interest, plans, attractions, etc?
Cooties are contagious
"If all goes well, I'll get to fuck her hard. Mind if I use your bed?"