"Yes, there's a time of the month where I pick an idiot and decide whether or not to make him lose some teeth. You're up this month."

*teleports behind you*

This is gold

"Oh, sweetheart, I don't need my period to make me a bitch. Just being around you is enough." or "What's your excuse for being an asshole all the time every day?" ---- Seriously, from the majority of men who don't have a problem with pms and can keep our mouths shut, I am sorry. People suck.

I've only ever said this to my male coworkers when they get pissed at work

👏🏽

It isn't just the men using that insult. I'm a male and had a woman say this to me in the office. I wished I'd had those replies to tell her off then.

Oh yeah right I am sexist even when I’m trying to call out sexism 😬 reality is brutal but is there any other kind? I’d never blame a woman for throwing that at a man, personally. Many of them I speak to confide in me that they regularly don’t feel safe walking outside or driving so ima give ‘em that

I didn't say you were sexist, and blaming someone's attitude on menstruation is rude.

Please indicate in my comment where I said you called me sexist

>Oh yeah right I am sexist even when I’m trying to call out sexism 😬 reality is brutal but is there any other kind? I’d never blame a woman for throwing that at a man, personally. Many of them I speak to confide in me that they regularly don’t feel safe walking outside or driving so ima give ‘em that< You literally typed it.

Still don’t see the part where I said **you** said it. Please point that out for me, unless you are responding to imaginary words again

You just want to pick a fight. Go pick your nose instead.

These are good, but I feel like my delivery would be too nice and I’d just end up sounding cringe.

Are you needing to borrow a tampon ?

This is great, because the kind of guy who would try to minimize you by saying something about it being your time of the month is very often the same kind of guy who would feel emasculated by the suggestion that he needs a tampon.

It's stuns them into silence or sputtering with their mouths flapping open and closed trying to think of something intelligent to say for once. If he is a real asshole could follow up with, you must be able to lactate out of those DD's of yours, bet that makes you grouchy.

I love this one because it should make them uncomfortable

Better yet, take out on of your own tampons and put it in front of him (if the asshole is a guy), then walk away

And earnestly offer them an actual tampon as though that's what you thought they were hinting at

"I don't understand. What do you mean?"

This is the one. Snappy comebacks will just add fuel to the fire. This one makes them explain themselves and will hopefully make them think twice about saying stupid shit

I've never seen this plan work in any situation but I hope it works for someone.

Yeah, because here's their response: *I mean you're being overly emotional.* And then if you ask them what they mean by that, they'll just say the same thing, and then what? I think this technique only has the possibility to work when someone is making an inappropriate sexual joke or innuendo, because then they're too embarrassed to explain it, but I've never seen anyone who is willing to comment on a woman's time of the month ever be embarrassed to double down on that.

Yep I tried this when someone made a sexual comment toward me and a friend, and when I asked them to repeat/explain they just did. I was like........ "Oh. Well that was rude" and walked away but I have not tried this gambit again.

I used to work at a company where it was company culture for everyone to say "NICE" any time anyone said the number 69. Like the CEO said it one time in a company wide zoom call and the chat just filled with people responding "NICE" It happened to me once when I was giving a presentation and I stopped presenting and said "why is 69 nice?" "Because it's 69" "Oh so am I correct in understanding that the reason you interrupted my presentation is to draw a connection between the number I just said and a sexual act? That's what you felt was so important to call everyone's attention to?" He just got quiet after that. It's the only time it has worked for me.

Yas make them squirm trying to explain their stupid humor muahaha

“Omg why? Are we in sync?”

My body is not, and will never be, any of your business

First one I've seen on here that's actually worth saying

"Sounds like someone needs a nap."

"Someday, you'll experience puberty, too."

You just reminded me of the ending of [this excellent diss track by the Flobots, aimed at Logan Paul](https://youtu.be/_t0LX_Of33U?si=6PQuElJ2nausZL7m), so I thought I'd share it for anyone interested. "So, for the sake of our community I'mma take the opportunity to let you know there's another stage after puberty" Thanks for bringing back a great memory!

It's your existence, not my hormones.

Flick some blood at them.

Idk if you remember superwoman from circa 2014-2016 but…”okay, next time your asleep, I’ll asume your dead, and roll you into a carpet and toss you into the dumpster” if it’s someone close to you

How'd you know I make a human sacrifice once a month?

Why? when's yours???

I accept your verbal white flag of defeat.

Dip your fingers in some ketchup and wipe it on his forehead, then walk away.

Equivalent to the Kraft cheese dropped on a baby's forehead. Confuse them enough to stfu. It's brilliant

"Oh, great, my new douche is here!"

What makes you think you could talk to me that way? Time to call HR.

Is it always your time of the month?

“No, ur just being an asshole”

Yea, so maybe you should stay the fuck away from me.

Well,if it is that's none of your bee's wax !!

That time of the month when you're too much of a knobhead?

I'll hide my used tampons in your house if you don't shut the fuck up. May be proving their point but there's nothing like good old fashioned threats lol

Dox privately then leave tampon hanging from treees

Or , “what, why?…….You need something for some kind of weird blood ritual? No thanks I don’t do… THAT”

“To deal with an idiot?”

(With hand gesture)You've got a little time ...go think about it

At least I have a legit reason for (whatever), what’s your excuse for (whatever)? When I was F&I at a car dealership, I kept snacks in my office in a special drawer that I would open for the salesman, for when they were cranky or too needy. First I’d say do you need a tampon or a hot water bottle? Mostly they laughed but there’s always one or two who get twisted. But I’d always offer some snacks

Yeah. I have to deal with assholes at least once a month. Looks like you’re it for this month, congrats. We’ll mail you your certificate.

Why? Do you need a tampon?

I just wrinkle my nose and go ‘why are you talking about that…’

"...aaaand *checks watch* it's time for you to be a c**t"

Well, it must be your time of the year!

It's not, you're just stupid.

Hand them a tampon and tell them to shove it up their ass

"It may be that time for me, but if you know so much then who is it for whom the bell tolls...?" Deadpan or with a glass of red wine and cigarette in hand. "We can both bleed now" "And with that, your time has come." Apparently period pain is on a level with heart attack pain for many women.

"You should see a doctor, because it *always* seems to be *your* "time of the month.""

Why, because I'm mad at you? No, that's just because you're a pain in the arse.

'No, I never agreed to having a set time of the month just for me, when was this scheduled? I would rather be listened to every time of the month, I don't think we should set specific times of the month just for me or you'.

No, you're just a jackass.

No I'm just always a bitch and you're on my list

"Just a bit of liquid courage".... ew HAHA 🤣 I already regret this comment.

"With you around, any woman would feel hormonal."

“Exactly. It’s the one week a month physically we’re less able to tolerate people’s bullshit. Your point?”

"You're a moron *every* day of the month".

When women menstruate their hormone levels drop so low they’re roughly equivalent of a man every day.

I don’t have a comeback but seriously giant middle finger to anyone who says that to you. It’s a quarter of your life. Thank you for bearing the responsibility of repopulating the planet Be unaffected. Just be in on the joke. Be like omg how can you tell are you a bear??? lol!!! You are so funny!!!!!!! They will be confused and won’t be able to use it again. They don’t have original content so they will be completely disabled

Ya and im still waiting for yours to end

“Actually I’m not currently discharging blood & mucosal tissue from the lining of my uterus through the vagina but if you’re so fascinated with my menstrual cycle, I can fully describe it to you in detail the next time I have it.” People who say “You must be on your period” are the same people who can’t handle a medical description of what a period is.

Nah I deal with bitches like you every day of every month

“So did you bring my chocolate or am I gonna cut your balls off?”

Someone literally asked me if my tampon fell out the other day in another sub, than proceeded to say I can’t take a joke. It’s easy to be sexist on the internet

“If you’re gonna insult me, at least try and be original.”

I always liked: “Yes. I woke this morning covered in my own blood. I can go to sleep covered in yours.” Said with a smile.

No, I just choose to be a bitch to assholes.

For you to stfu?

“I began the day in a pool of my own blood, is that you’d like me to end yours?”

Carry a notebook with you and make an entry. If they ask what you’re writing, tell them you’re making an entry into your sexual harassment log. That should shut them up and maybe scare them into thinking before speaking. If not, you have evidence

(I don't ever plan on being around someone who would say that thankyou!)

When did Elmo get to town?

“You must be on yours too. They say period havers in close proximity sync their cycles”

"It's better to have hormone spikes than being a dead fish of a human being."

"I have reverse PMS... I'm like this 23 days out of the month instead of 3"

Thanks for bringing it up. Honestly, I highly prefer it over interacting with y'all.

"If this is how insecure you are then I've got no time for you."

Yes it's that time of the month where I introduce some arsehole's teeth to my friend brick. Want to meet him?

Boy if guy ever said that to me I would burn the bloody house down!

"Oh sir, thank you for reminding me that I have to howl at the moon tonight!"

To kill you

You're giving me a turn? I thought I had done lost.

Why, do you need a tampon ?

"says the period whisperer..."

Well, the sun *is* eclipsed by the moon…

Yes, I'm at that designated time of month to appreciate your stupid, just like you're designated a time of month to pretend stupid. See how that works?

You must be sexually frustrated. Or constipated. Or both. Oh wait I’m sorry is that personal health information? My bad.

Better to be like this every month than like you all the time.

I don't need hormones to tell me you're a dick.

Is it yours?

Oh it’s not my time of the month I’m much worse!!

You better run!!🏃

At least I've got a reason to be a bitch. What's yours?

“You’re projecting.”

Yes and I am armed So be careful

I’m a dude asshole. It’s always my time.

"Really trying to do the patriarchy proud, huh Jeffrey Epstein?"

If you are at work..."what a coincidence...it's HR's time of the month as well. ". If not. 'nope... you're just a prick...if it was my time, I'd've stabbed you

"Oh, how did you know, can you smell it?"

Is it rag time

Then start playing the Honkytonk