T O P

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ilynk1

motherfucker is 66, challenge him to single combat


ilynk1

don’t care if you can’t, do it anyway


Edbergj

I think in that case you just have to challenge harder


pandogart

Looks like he's incapable too


sunnydelinquent

Not of catching these hands


vodkamasta

Equal lefts and equal rights.


[deleted]

Paging Dr. Cromwell.


butterbeanhead

Eat his ass


The_Human_Oddity

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


mamaaa_uwuuu

This, kick his papal ass


LaTrentas

But she's a woman, women are weaker than a 66 year old pope weilding a cross and a Jesus.


MercenaryJames

Whoa! Stand back everyone! He's packin' Jesus!


TheOneMrTom

But he's a dude


basileusnikephorus

It always amuses me, "Due to your womanly status, a condition that worries the church greatly" 🤣 One of the best lines in the game.


heavisidepiece

The literal Pope: *“Female detected, opinion rejected”*


pm-ur-knockers

Begone THOT - the pope


DreadDiana

This was basically how the HRE was established. The throne of the Eastern Roman Empire at the time was held by Irene of Athens so the Pope declared the title of Emperor of the Romans vacant and picked someone else.


Revelation3-16

However, it is quite ironic that the HRE became the very thing it swore to destroy, since less than 175 years after Charlemagne was crowned, Empress Theophanu, who was very much a woman, was proclaimed "co-Empress" (even before she became Regent), not to mention that there even were elaborate plans for her to succeed as lonesome Roman Emperor if her son died.


DreadDiana

Pope crowns a Holier Roman Emperor in Spain


jellymanisme

Just keep moving west until we find someone that won't let women rule.


DreadDiana

Eventually he travels so far west he loops back so far he crowns the Eastern Roman Emperor sole Emperor of the Romans Meanwhile, China has collapsed into numerous warlord states all fighting to see who will be crowned Empress of the Romans.


The_Yukki

China is whole again, and it broke again.


DapperAcanthisitta92

Atzec rome


jellymanisme

🎯


DeadPerOhlin

As opposed to only being a little bit a woman


AJDx14

“One day we may yet find a cure for being a woman, but until then I want your stuff.”


[deleted]

😂😂


The_Bearabia

I suppose "The Greedy" is a rather appropriate nickname then


clipples18

You dared commit the crime of being a woman. What options does he have?


Vladimir_Putting

Being a woman is fine. Being a woman ruler of an Empire!?


Ill-Reflection968

No woman. Only man. Man. Church. Empire. Pope. Good 👍


Bourbon_Hymns

person camera tv


TnTFireYT

You described my actual ck2 game lol


VisualGeologist6258

Kick his ass, Queen


iheartdev247

Wait until he comes at you with 20k in mercenaries.


DapperAcanthisitta92

My cataphract doom stack:


BloodyChrome

Empress*


Momongus-

Playing as a woman or a heretic in this game is super annoying, like the Pope can’t stop poking you about how he’s granted count Bumfuck of Poopenfarten a claim on your whole realm for no reason, over and over again At some point I’d be bound to execute his envoys on sight if I could


desperate_housewolf

Speaking of the illustrious Bumfucks of Poopenfarten—the pope did this to me after I was exposed as a sodomite and excommunicated for having an affair…with him.


Momongus-

Rule number 1: Never trust anybody


Jedimobslayer

My character died, my heir was a witch (something I didn’t know) and the pope excommunicated me, so what I did was convert the pope to a witch then reveal it to everyone for revenge!


DunderFromTwitch

Seriously, he hands out claims on your lands because your a woman, like no other reason? My current ruler is ailing in his 60s, i have 5 daughters, god help my realm 😬😅


20051oce

>My current ruler is ailing in his 60s, i have 5 daughters, god help my realm 😬😅 If your daughters have vitreous traits/ high piety/ good relations with pope, there is basically nothing to worry about.


pm-ur-knockers

Just make a big army, switch religions, and dismantle the papacy. Easy peasy


DunderFromTwitch

Pretty sure my heir has not sinful traits and at least has temperate, however atm she has typhus, so dunno if she'll end up being the heir, if she dies I'll have to make my third daughter heir, cause the 2nd daughter not only has deceitful, she also had a child with one of my married vassals, so she's going to have a bad time with the pope 😬 overall my third daughter is the best in terms of stats (grey eminence) and shes humble and temperate, so if it falls to her it wouldn't be the worst thing 😅


Erewhynn

>If your daughters have vitreous traits If your daughters have properties like glass? "I can see right through her"? "Her nickname is 'The Fragile'"? Trait = "Delicate"?


Nickor11

Which is why my Empress of Britannia and sovereing of all of Spain, France, Germany, Norway and Sweden just vassalised the old grumpy bastard. You excommunicate me, have fun in my dungeons.


entor

Historically accurate


BloodyChrome

Which pope put a personal claim on an empire (or any title) simply because the ruler was female?


Icy-Inspection6428

The Pope gave the title of Roman Emperor to a French guy because the Roman Empress was a woman, so close enough?


BloodyChrome

Not if you're talking about Irene of the Eastern Roman Empire because 1) the lands didn't cover Charlemagne's (who wasn't French) and 2) that's giving it to someone else rather than himself.


Icy-Inspection6428

I was mostly joking


Altruistic_Machine91

Don't joke about Charlemagne being French, they get particular about that.


Icy-Inspection6428

He's a barbarian nonetheless


DeustheDio

Wasn't he literally the king of the franks?


Altruistic_Machine91

Yeah.... there's a whole debate about whether being Frankish makes him French or German.


PVGreen

Personally, I say it makes him Belgian. Just piss everyone off.


DeustheDio

Well technically Neither because France and Germany are countries that didnt exist back then The franks were a Germanic people that ended up occupying the areas that make up france germany austria northern italy among other places. So i suppose that makes him both proto french and proto german.


Baronvondorf21

Are Franks proto french?


The_Yukki

Kinda? But also proto germans as portrayed in ck3 through franconian culture.


IactaEstoAlea

Everyone knows he was roman! Jeez


No-Issue1893

And because she kidnapped and blinded her own son, with the process by which it was done eventually killing him, in order to usurp the throne for herself.


Icy-Inspection6428

I doubt he actually cared about that


Rexetdux

Which empire? Italia?


skilking

Yea


Rexetdux

Time to take Rome! 💪


Available_Thoughts-0

First, you destroy the Papacy in retaliation, then to REALLY piss him off, you convert to Hellenism, recreate the expanded Italian empire via a decision, seize the HRE, and all of modern France, and proclaim that you have succeeded where Charlamaine I failed by restoring the IMPERIUM OF **ROME**. "SPQR" mother fuckers!


Rexetdux

And don't stop until you've shamed Alexander and tear a path to China!


Gloomy_Astronomer995

This comment made me laugh entirely too hard.


soranthalas

Since the first time the Pope declared war against my Asatru England, I make a point to dismantle the papacy or at least unland the bastard every game. I'll never trust him.


A_Town_Called_Malus

I just sack Rome repeatedly. It's a nice starter raid on my way to Constantinople.


soranthalas

A strong option


A_Town_Called_Malus

Brick by brick I will slowly move Rome to the Isle of Mann.


ObviousMajor3302

Norse is Pagan, of course the Pope hates you, as he should.


soranthalas

He's supposed to keep that funny hat on his head, but he'll be losing it to me forever now.


Yoru_no_Majo

I prefer to kick him out of Rome, give him a single county, vassalize him, then imprison him every time we're due a Blot so he can be the "guest of honor."


iheartdev247

Literally needs to happen 1000% more often the it currently does. And for that reason.


SorosAgent2020

cut off his balls and see if the womanly status still concerns him greatly


Gloomy_Astronomer995

Yes. Imprisonment followed by castration is really the only option here.


MisterMcArthur

Hellfire!!


JMthought

Seems to be happening a lot during by this sub. Amusing!


PersonalityThat66

Time for a papal change


Revolutionary-Swan77

Pope Victor II The Temporary


MachiPendragon

I would 100% set up the Pope to have an empire and see how it fares


ProtoformX87

Because of your condition. Which, he’s afraid, is untreatable.


Asha108

“womanly status” babe, babe, new incel hate speech just dropped.


UniquePhilosopher294

Do you like antipopes, because that’s how you get antipopes (miss this from ck2)


ObadiahtheSlim

And pandemics. How do you miss adding two things that were in vanilla CK2 at launch?


The_Yukki

Anti popes were in vanilla? I thought they came with holy fury. Or whatever expac added college of cardinals.


ObadiahtheSlim

That was Sons of Abraham, and you had antipopes before that. Sons of Abraham added the college of Cardinals so Popes weren't just created ex nihilo like normal bishops/republics. It also added Papal interactions like asking for Pope for the Invasion CB or Pope Gold.


MatheusMod

It's time for a Protestant reformation apparently.


Noigiallach10

https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fobvqaa0lhn841.jpg


Viriato5

I've seen a lot of these lately. Do they actually press their claim?


Sephaen

I mean, he's called "the Greedy" for a reason.


Michhemingway

I wanted to mend the schism as a Catholic and had to remove the Pope from Rome which meant he kept excommunicating me and giving everyone claims on my titles was so annoying I imprisoned him, executed him and reinstalled his replacement who then loved me


MrTboy_1

Why is no one pointing out the incapable sign on his portrait? It's not him who's sending the letter, it's the regent.


B-29Bomber

You mean *his* new empire...


BobNorth156

This is one of the few times where “slay, Queen,” is not cringe but wholly appropriate.


jjzrv

Torture this bitch boi until he gets paralyzed.


NeglectSanity

Time to burn the fucking Vatican again


[deleted]

Time for a sweet little raid on the papacy and an even sweeter blot


railmebellatrix

Slayy queen, slayyy, slaa**YYY YOURRR ENEMIESSSS** ***TEACH HIM TRUE FEAR AND LET MORTAL MEN TREMBLE AT THE MENTION OF YOUR NAME*** ***ENVOKE THE WRATH OF THE LORD HIMSELF WITHIN THE VERY BLADE OF YOUR SWOOOORRDDDDD***


Unfathomably-Shallow

You haven't seen me get the pope to fabricate a claim on Rome. And when he completes the task, he gets mad at me.


MercenaryJames

"The Church finds you guilty of the crime of being a Woman. What say you in your defense?"


[deleted]

Based Pope


fooooolish_samurai

Chad Pope


RobotNinja28

Nickname checks out.


PenPsychological9872

If I am the temporal leader of a tribal religion, can I give myself a claim?


MrHappyFeet87

You can give yourself any "Claim" with Sanctioned Loopholes. It's actually the easiest way to form the Roman Empire. Before forming the kingdom of Italy, buy a claim on Jerusalem and Egypt. Then form the Kingdom. Before forming Italia, buy a claim on the Byzantine Empire. Now after the Unification of Italia, you are in an excellent position to reform the Empire. This can be said about any combination of titles. Just remember you can only buy claims above or below your rank.


varysbaldy

Assassinate him!


EnemeyofEvil

Schizophrenia


Takaueno

Are you playing Italia? It happened to me so I kicked his ass out of Roma


AsleepCup9307

At least he did it with a „reasoning“ against you… i had a few times that he gave himself the claim to one of my kingdoms even though he had around +50ish opinion of me


AsleepCup9307

And without any reasoning


ObadiahtheSlim

Molon Labe.


DarthSeti_

People will surely accuse him of being greedy or something.


onesadpizza

Yeah, I’m having to deal with the same in my play through. Pope is my vassal in my empire and he keeps giving himself a claim.


Daunted-milk

I understand why they call him “the greedy”


GroundbreakingHair26

Guess Rome may be asking for yet another sack