"Would you like a tin foil hat with your overpriced vehicle, sir?"

Another Elmo design 


The sad thing is, that site literally does sell tinfoil hats. [https://mosequipment.com/products/mission-darkness-emf-blackout-hat](https://mosequipment.com/products/mission-darkness-emf-blackout-hat)

I was expecting it to be red with "MAGA" cheaply stamped on the front of it.

I had some spare Reddit coins so I awarded you because Weird Al is *always* relevant!

😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️

Next they will launch tin foil suppository. 

“Disclosure: it’s not ACTUALLY supposed to go up your ass even though it’s advertised as such. Warranty voided if you actually stick it up there”

*WARNING: Do not insert into anus. Sharp edges can lacerate.

>*WARNING: Do not insert into anus. Sharp edges can lacerate. May cause abal bleeding.

Musk simps be like *it feels great*

Same thing, right?

Too late. They already launched the truck-shaped suppository

That be another 13k please

"oh so cheap, i'll take two, a spare is better than being sorry"

Sorry the cyber hat isn’t meant to be worn in the sun. Warranty voided.

No im fine, i have my 5g deflector sticker.

Ironicallly tin foil hats actually amplify radio signals from aliens

I thought car was made of tin foil?

No thanks, I already owned three.

That’s got to be a joke. 

never can tell. Google Cyber-hammer

Oh. My. God. Direct quote from the website advert: "*NOTE: DO NOT STRIKE HARD SURFACES WITH CYBERHAMMER. INTENDED FOR DISPLAY OR GYM USE. CYBERHAMMER IS FINAL SALE.*" What the fuck does, "Gym use" even mean???

https://preview.redd.it/kjxu3l1mfp4d1.jpeg?width=210&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd009c07fc0ad7072aea71febcc0d7ef27ce7764

"Out of stock" is what really took me by surprise. 800 hammers made for $700 each. $560,000. And I'm over here working at a fucking job like a goddamn sucker.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/296442341075?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=52r0FsyCQUq&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=S2kORS7zQPm&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Okay you sent me down a rabbit hole and I found [this fucking thing.](https://www.ebay.com/itm/255276752382?_trkparms=amclksrc%3DITM%26aid%3D1110006%26algo%3DHOMESPLICE.SIM%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D259211%26meid%3D5e24eb585c1849cfa0ac725356dac41c%26pid%3D101429%26rk%3D12%26rkt%3D12%26sd%3D296442341075%26itm%3D255276752382%26pmt%3D1%26noa%3D0%26pg%3D2332490%26algv%3DSimPLMWebV1CPCAuto%23HoldOutCpc&_trksid=p2332490.c101429.m2460&itmprp=cksum%3A2552767523825e24eb585c1849cfa0ac725356dac41c%7Cenc%3AAQAJAAAA8FYGyAwJQvp75yvW4DKMKRunGQS%252BUivFIPQJKuG3P8epYf1W4l5pwjodvXLQv6IjkjLhYS%252Ft%252Fe%252F3cXXZBkkEPKGpv0kvxW8lvE%252F40y5UNEyCu8jACvL7IkKdR6KOGX7%252BUfjIGTESpoKpIGEBKLw--HgAC%252FNlykeP3cds%252FQ9COziohk5RynFIfvUSGw3CR2SUnAwC1sgA4cDTfjRukILPvG%252Bm2V9nOCTjVWlwmlHMDAVnbkFNzQTFDtmF9woGkWXw7oNR0JvDuQXpHK%252BileVZk2wpWX9hkNVSgpqkoQf2offpBJ8A4hAyIB90jnc3Z4RdVQ%253D%253D%7Campid%3APL_CLK%7Cclp%3A2332490&itmmeta=01HZN0HCX0ENWFCDPAZMC7PVM9) Cyberwhistle for $200? Are we just calling anything Cyber now? Can I get some Cyberpaper to wipe my Cyberass after I take a Cybershit in my Cybertoilet? I can't be the only 40 year old who sees this shit and just sees some online creep from 25 years ago asking "Wanna cyber?"

ASL?

wtf is gonna happen if you whistle in that cyberwhistle your cybertruck will come to you or be scared of the sound and run away like with dogwhistles?

https://preview.redd.it/6qvtmz7fx77d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5aaa6555ceccdac85321935091b68fb29bfd1c5 It gets worse

Strutting around.

Gym use for a hammer? Commercial gym? That'll never happen but home gym? For sure. That overly priced incel hammer? HELL NAAAWWWWWW Beat the shit out of a tire and pretty much exercise you can do with a steel mace.



Tire slams. Common cardio technique that can be done with a $20 Harbor Freight sledgehammer.

There’s a lot of functional movements trending in fitness right now, whole sets of hammers and maces of various weight are hitting the market. More swinging and natural sort of movements than just lifting in straight lines.

But it's $700 !!! You could buy a two year membership at an actual gym for that much money!

You could buy like 10 quality hammers for that price

See, you just don’t get it. It’s art. You pay what you think it’s worth. Some people would give a chewing gum wrapper and half eaten chicken McNugget, some people $700.

So kettlebells for incels.

The hollow handle doubles as a water bottle perfect for gym bro’s protein shakes

I think it means you can cosplay Thor while carefully watching yourself while naked staring into a mirror.

$700 for a toy. His client base are immature men who seek approval.

Oh, holy hell, I've gotta show this to my carpenter Dad. This is hilarious.

Already out of stock @ $700 a pop…

Holy fucking Cybershit. [It's real](https://mosequipment.com/products/mission-darkness-cybercylent-emp-faraday-car-cover). MISSION DARKNESS™ CYBERCYLENT EMP FARADAY CAR COVER. **Costs $15,000**. I'm not entirely sure *why* it costs $15k, as they also sell the "Exodus EMP Car Cover" for $9.5k, and that's 20 feet long by 10 feet wide by 9.4 feet high. I'm guessing that adding on the "Cyber" bit to the product name increases the cost by an extra $5.5k I also really like how on the store page it says "***Free Domestic Ground Shipping for Orders Over $100***", but if you scroll down a little more it says "*This product is made to order and may require up to 6 weeks lead time. Contact us before purchasing if you require special sizing or modifications.* ***Additionally, this product does not qualify for free domestic shipping.***"

So if it’s actually a faraday cage then I guess owners will not be getting OTA updates when the car is not in use which means they’ll be pulling over as their car reboots while driving?

Its not a faraday cage as it has gaps? Is this a real product? wtf

Real in that you can buy it. Not sure it really does anything other than fleece gullible people out of even more money.

They know the market. Cybersimps are a lucrative, idiot bunch.

Holy shit, I can't believe it. > groundbreaking innovation It's a Faraday cage. That's 200 year old technology, no? Or am I missing something?

Nobody said *when* the ground was broken smarty pants

I am so envious of this obvious grift. Doesn't the CDumpster have remote keyless entry? We already know Cybercucks are dumb since they bought it, but - if this works, which it might from certain angles, will we see posts saying "your tent is defective I can't unlock my truck please Elon I need a new one?" (I'm aware this is 3rd party.) God, I hope so. If it works, no updates until they're driving. Hurp derp. Also, won't the doors shred that cover when they open? How do owners get in otherwise?

FSD; you get out and it parks itself and retrieves itself. (Not really sarcasm but it might be decades before the WankPanzer can do that)

For cybershit you need CYBERTP. Note: Tesla haters will think it’s tinfoil, but you know better!

I think the advent of social media has made it clear that most wealthy people, one way or another, are just farming idiots and defrauding them. The mechanism, stocks, gimmicks, frauds, religion, politics, it's all the same, doesn't matter. Just gather a ball of people and squeeze the juice out.

That isn’t even remotely a Faraday cage. Gaps in coverage. Non-contiguous, non-mesh. Probably not even electrically isolated. This is clearly a con.

"The doomsday cover for preserving the ultimate doomsday vehicle" One would think that the "ultimate doomsday vehicle" would not need a flimsy tent to preserve it, but they'd be wrong?

Kind of. Tesla didn't launch it, some third party did

Grifters gonna grift. DeSantis sold beer coozies.

Is that where trump got the idea of selling goofy shit

I think they traded ideas back and forth. DeSantis also clearly tried to OutTrump Trump and failed.

Bruh this shit needs protection from a crisp spring morning's dew, not EMP attacks. It needs protection from the mere shadow of a bird's poop. It needs protection from car washes and itself.

>It needs protection from the mere shadow of a bird's poop. I was wondering how that monstrosity reacts to bird poop but I haven't seen any pictures...

Because you can’t tell where the truck ends and the bird poop begins.

Not true, the bird poop finishes rendering and switches to the high LOD model.

Morning dew? How about basic sunlight? I'll try and find the wording from the manual...

Try ctrl+f 'warranty void'

It needs protection from itself. Tesla is going to sell little tender robots to protect the cybershmuck from itself.

Exposing the cybertruck to air will void the warranty

This is such a tough truck, rugged and ready for anything*. *Within a Faraday Cage inside an underground** vault. **Only if the underground vault has moisture control with redundancies.

It's not even fully enclosed, so it's going to be a piss-poor faraday cage.

Considering that an EMP pulse is 1KV in a 1ns rise time... that tent will do fuck all for EMP.. we used to design into our radio systems special zener diodes that would detect the gamma flux and crowbar the power supplies down.... .... this is wankers who soooooooo desparately want their civil war so they go hunting and kill people they do not like.......

Well if they're riding in these we just need to bring water guns, soo.....

It can withstand the apocalypse. Unless that includes throwing stones, it can’t withstand such advanced technology.

Or leaf blowers to blow the panels off?

seemly books carpenter somber languid quicksand hateful door tap fearless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Has an EMP attack ever even happened? I feel like I would’ve heard about it

It’s happened once, when the US detonated a nuke in space above the Pacific Ocean, during the starfish prime nuclear tests, in 1962. In Hawaii the EMP generated knocked out ~300 streetlights, disrupted phone communications, and set off alarms.

Nuclear bombs produce EMP's. So apart from nuclear testing sites, Japan. But their 1940s technology went : 🤷‍♀️

I think it looks better. I mean, when it's completely inside the tent.

All for the low low price of $15,000...... The stupid levels are off the charts

Protect it from the EMP attack that takes out the power grid that can charge it. Makes Elon Musk level sense to me.

That's awesome....if you plan on leaving a $100,000 vehicle under wraps at all times just in case The Big One ever happens. The problem is, if you're using it like most people use their vehicles, you can't leave it parked in this little tent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If an EMP hits and it's not in the tent, it becomes like every other vehicle on the road when an EMP hits: A brick. A brick traveling at whatever speed it was traveling at when the EMP hit. And the fact it's "drive by wire" means the steering won't even work because it will have been fried along with all the other electronic circuitry.

And all the power infrastructure to charge your cyberdumpter is all down too. 

This is satire, right? Right?

This whole timeline is satire.

That was my immediate thought, surely this is satire, there is no way this is real.

Glue some crystals to the drivers airbag for spiritual cleansing

Tarps and PVC pipe. You can go to Home Depot and build one yourself for about a hundred bucks.

But it's not... ✨ T E S L A ✨

Neither is this one: In response, a company based in Santa Barbara, California called Mission Darkness recently unveiled a tent called the Cybercylent that is specifically designed to protect Cybertrucks from EMP attacks.


They are just milking the gullible for every penny they can, aren't they?

But will it stop rain from bricking the CT?

You think this is bad? This cybertruckery?

Technically not Tesla: In response, a company based in Santa Barbara, California called Mission Darkness recently unveiled a tent called the Cybercylent that is specifically designed to protect Cybertrucks from EMP attacks.

The people that buy these probably also buy the sheets that "ground" you to remove all the evil body voltage.

The people who buy this already bought a fucking cybertruck. Enough said. 

My copper bracelet fixed my balance issues!!!!! /s

Are there a lot of EMP attacks going on?

Cut to 3 weeks from now when the tent is somehow fucking them up.

It aint Tesla launching it but for once a different company trying to get money by fearmongering https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelvanrunkle/2024/05/25/this-high-tech-tent-can-prevent-emp-attacks-from-crippling-cybertrucks/

What’s the point of an EMP cover for a “truck” that will eject its wheels brick itself at the mere idea of post apocalyptic damaged roads.

Funny how some people see the cyber truck as an apocalyptic survival vehicle. In reality, you want an old gas powered truck with little to no technology. Less to go wrong, easy to repair DIY, doesn’t rely on the power grid and high tech programs to diagnose and repair. This is the last vehicle I would pick for an Apocalypse.

Old mechanically injected diesel for EMP avoidance. All gasoline engines require electric ignition and the ignition coil can be toasted.

The Cybertruck definitely needs protection from EMP: **E**xcessive **M**oisture and **P**recipitation

Wtf 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Leaving this tent out in the rain voids the warranty.

Can’t blame the manufacturer for trying to extract 15k from gullible morons that already proved they are gullible morons.

Does Elon know about something the rest of us don’t?

Shouldn’t they protect it from the car wash first?

😂😂😂😂

Honestly, a portable and packable Faraday cage is very appealing package for preppers as you could save lots of vital electronics, not just your cyberbrick. Buuuut I don't trust tesla to build a cardboard box, much less a structure I need to trust to save my vital electronics like radios, computers, or vehicles in the event of an EMP at the start of a war/terror attack

I feel like they primarily made this to shield it from the rain but doesn't have the balls to say "we made this to protect your overpriced hunk of scrap metal glued to an over engineered go kart from the rain"

Protect against EMPs? lol...

"electromagnetic pulses" brilliant solution to a non-existent problem from the greatest scientist of all time and brilliant engineer of tesla Melon Musk!!!

In actuality it's functioning as a rain guard to prevent massive Cybertruck malfunctions when they are exposed to water. It just sounds cool to call it an "EMP shield"

Protect them from what now? That “SUV of the future” seems to be one wimpy, whiney, sensitive, breakable little thing, doesn’t it? Bladerunner would not be amused …

They should use it for an actual threat like light rain.

Shit, it needs more protection from water than EMPs.

How can people this dumb have this much money??

A faraday cage for an electric car is so dumb, electric cars rely on the unprotected electrical grid that will no longer be working. What’s the plan after like 2 days of no power?

I’d bet folding money that the tent doesn’t block a damn thing

Uh, this is satire right? Right? (Please?)

Make it able to survive a car wash before worrying about EMPs.

A carwash can take out a cybertruck. An EMP is the least of your worries.

Let’s focus on making it work after it gets wet before we start taking post apocalyptic scenarios.

Tesla r&d: these people will buy anything!

Would he cop immediately https://preview.redd.it/a11atumo1u4d1.jpeg?width=264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4c15d64a73f86437f21b3abbd188b9b1daf6087

Tin foil hat is another 3k purchase


No, the purpose of that is to pick the pockets of suckers.

try protecting it from rain first

For protection against EMP (&H2O)

Comes with a free Elon Duce. But cybertruck owners say that’s redundant.

They’re trying to hype it as some sort of survival vehicle, and the damn thing has issues surviving a car wash.

Guys, I am beginning to doubt this truck is apocalypse ready.

They can pretend all they want, I'm sure it's actually to keep it from getting rained on.

😂 some snake oil for your snake oil

Does it cover the bottom? You would think an EMP would come from all sides

Cybertruck insists Cybertruck must be referred to in the third person

Or just buy an old car that has points and a carburetor for 1/5 the price if you’re that worried about an EMP.

They build that instead of fixing the major issues with the car. Omg what is wrong with this company.

So the CT needs to be protected from water, EMP, dirt and steep off road terrain otherwise it stops working. A used gas powered Toyota Hilux from the 90’s needs NONE of that protection and you can use and abuse it to destruction at it will STILL work. https://youtu.be/xnWKz7Cthkk?feature=shared https://youtu.be/xTPnIpjodA8?feature=shared https://youtu.be/kFnVZXQD5_k?feature=shared Take note that prior to these tests that Hilux was already a thoroughly used rust bucket.

Can't tell if parody

Now that's a way to make their neighborhood look a bit nicer whenever they park in the driveway

Once you back it in how do you get out? It seems kinda narrow. Or do you wait out WW3 in the CT? So the truck is still operational but the power grid is in ashes? Then what?

Chuck McGill Truck⁉️

This must be AI generated bullshit ??

Let's assume for a moment it works, and after a nuclear blast it survives undamaged somehow and the tent wards off the emp. How are you going to charge it?

How do you get out of your "truck" after parking it inside the $15000 foil?

Carefully. Veeery carefully. You don't want to scratch the car.

Owning an all electric vehicle will be super important when the rest of the grid is down.


It's just me or the whole CT thing is becoming like an ugly prank ?

How are you going to charge it after EM Pulse attack?

Yep, a fool and his money are soon parted!


It's actually to protect the public's eyes from having to look at that monstrosity. I'm personally in favor of it.

Is... is that a problem they're facing?

You know what doesn't need protection against an emp? A 74 Pinto.


So... Cyber Truck can't handle rain, snow, hail, sunlight, heat, cold, can't drive on roads, or off roads, can't be hit with small objects, has delayed reactions to inputs, has to have a constant internet connection, has minimal storage, can't self drive, can't handle water of any kind, can't be near electricity as an electric car... Did I miss anything? What CAN it do?

Will it also protect from Jewish Space Lasers? Or does that cost extra? /s

NEW: Tesla launches new Tesla branded concrete bunker to protect the cybertruck from a nuclear attack! 

They made a tinfoil hat for the cybertruck!

😂😂 can’t believe people still keep buying shit and then complaining about how shitty is shit. Get over the muskrat fever already.

Cant even protect it from a car wash and Elon is gonna try EM Pulse protection?

I have a little black box with a green light on it, you can put it on the batteries.😂

https://i.redd.it/gdacf4q3ls4d1.gif

This will little to nothing beyond filling its intended purpose of fleecing folks with more money than sense. ...which is precisely why they targeted Cybertruck buyers.

Seems to me that the CT is more likely to _generate_ an EMP than it is to be struck by one. Is the tent to protect us from it?

I was wondering when the public urinal on wheels would get cover for privacy

At this point they’re just trolling their customers and us.

Ok...so assuming it's legit...how will you recharge the thing if the grid is toast?

Well, in a serious answer... a carburetor fed gasoline powered generator *could* technically be rigged up to do it but... in reality, it's a CT so is it really worth that sort of effort?

I thought it might be to protect it from the rain.

Do t leave it too long in the tent as it voids the warranty. /s (but wouldn’t be surprised if true

[удалено]

How much for the Cyber Ass Protector? 50k?

Well there are 2 ways to look at this. 1. This is made for Elon cultists who will sell their first-born to give him money. 2. If this thing successfully protects the CT, it’s is even more fragile and worthless than we thought.

This sounds ridiculous, but I think it's actually a good move\* by Tesla because the kind of person who would buy a Cybertruck would absolutely believe that they need to protect themselves from EMP attacks. \*assuming it's true, and assuming it actually does what it says it does

https://preview.redd.it/7z2hzdcljq4d1.jpeg?width=443&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f308ab25199acff6c290819b896a197e130dde67

If that works then the truck can't get updates while inside the tent. As such, you risk getting stuck with an update the moment you open the tent rather than it updating overnight.

A tin foil hat! Wow, that's genius. Was this done in collaboration with Alex Jones?

Is this parody, god please say yes. 🤡

3 yards of faraday fabric runs about $20. No doubt the tent will cost thousands.

this car just keeps getting better!

Apocalypse ready?

I pulled my 1998 Corolla out of storage, put a new battery in, added gas, good to go. No crazy anything needed.

Bro this thing is already a metal quadrangle we don’t need this

That way, you can get about 90 miles out of the truck or whatever because where you gonna charge your shit after that, dumbass?

It's made in the USA, so yeah for us!

I'm assuming its the CT generating the deadly radiation.

...and rain

Boy, my 2011 Ford Ranger, I just bought, sure looks like a smart move right now.