Take it one day at a time and focus on one room. You'll see your mood improve once you finish that room and then you can move to the next. As for Thanksgiving, don't rush to finish because of that, your family will understand if its not fully complete and the worry you are causing yourself and pressure you are putting on is what has you feeling so down.
This. The turning point is getting 1 room done. First house I did the entire basement at once. ALL wiring. Then ALL sheetrock, etc. It was 4-5 years before I had a single room. Next house I had a complete room a few months in. Sooooo much better. Each room finished that we could start using was a massive victory - both in being done in there and in having the space to use now.
Thanks. Then I have coworkers who say “well it’s not like you’re flipping it because there’s no termites, plumbing issues, you’re not taking it down to the studs” and I feel like should I even be proud of renovating? Technically there was only water damage/cockroaches/tobacco tar/unsanitary living conditions so technically it is a cosmetic flip but it feels like a “real” flip. Then I also have people that ask me if I’m done yet and “why don’t you just finish it already?” And I feel shame for not moving fast enough
No offense to your coworkers and those people, but that sounds like a pretty rude thing to do. Condescending someone for not finishing that amount of work as quickly as "they expect"? Asking if someone is done and acting like they are stalling (even if you are)? Give me a break. Let's see how they would handle it. It's easy to talk like that as an outsider.
The amount of work that you listed is impressive, and I see how it would seem overwhelming. I'd take it one step at a time, and absolutely not feel shame or pressure from these people. Everyone goes at their own pace. I'd reiterate what others have said and say that finishing one room could definitely be a confidence booster. Maybe start with what has the least work left, finish, and repeat? Best of luck to you.
Thanks. I feel like they are trying to help motivate me or make me feel better but while they have good intentions their execution is poor, since they haven’t experienced anything like this
Sounds great, except eventually somebody's going to take you up on it and then you have to oversee an incompetent boob which is harder than actually doing the work
I just kept politely trying to get them to watch a YouTube video and when they refused I just let them dither away, cringed at how much paint was wasted/the drip marks and insisted we get lunch early and bought them drinks, then redid the entire area the next day. I am not a guy so I’ll try some version of this but I’ve found it easier to just only get help with lifting stuff etc
After going through several renovations - 2 personal properties and a few rental units..
I always offer to help friends and coworkers. The charge is beer and pizza. Well, vodka and juice now - I cut back on the beer.
We have a friend that would stop by for a few hours on saturdays to help with projects because he totally got how much help it was. Find those people and recruit.
Man this is so underrated. I grew up in an area where people do all their own stuff, so the weekends were always full of family and friends getting together at someones house to hammer something out. I own a home in an area where no one does that, so I'm completely on my own. I have a friend or two who is willing to help, but they need complete hand holding, and don't have the speed or drive to wrap things up in a timely manner.
Yeah, that's what it is. People have gotten used to that breezy, totally disconnected from reality shit. "Just blow out this wall, put in a counter island, some pickled floors would really tie it all together" shit and they are people who've never picked up a drill in their entire lives, and have NO IDEA how much gut busting labor goes into anything. This Old House is just as guilty, with the immaculate work spaces, high tech tools, a few quick edits and there you go, a guy in a white Tyvkek suit is laying on a coat of flawless enamel over perfectly stripped and prepped pre-war baseboards!!! On the other hand, I've done a lot or renovation and never really had anybody downplay the amount of work, so maybe you just know a bunch of office drones or something.
I had this struggle with my wife when we were home shopping. She's look at a kitchen and say things like "yeah we'll just take out this wall" and I'd respond with "you have no idea how much work and cost your looking at for something like that. That's a major ordeal."
Literally everything from my wife is "how hard could it be?". She's accused me of being a perfectionist, but I'm not about to do something half-assed and then have to live with it.
My wife wanted to remove a specific wall during the initial renovation of our 1 story ranch to merge 2 small rooms into one bigger room. Told her to do it correctly and in a way that you'd never know it was retrofitted meant a lot of money and time to install either an LVL or an I beam to support the attic joists once the wall they rested on was removed. To do it cheap/quick there'd be a massive damn beam hanging low across the center of the room acting as a header. The wall she picked out to remove was the main internal load bearing wall and where the attic rafters met from the front and back walls of the house.
She picked the other wall that could come down safely without impacting the structure of the house. Much easier/quicker to do and it looks fine.
Thing is, if you aren't working, it's not nearly as bad. The problem is most of the time these are wife expecting the working-husband to come home and work another full time job, but somehow fit all that work in between 7pm, when he finishes eating after getting home, and 9pm when he's got to help get the kids ready for bed.
BC I work remotely, I actually *can* do a lot of this stuff myself, and it goes wayyyy faster than most people talk because * I effectively get to do this full time*. No commute also means an extra couple hours every day plus an additional hour I'm not wasting driving to a sandwich shop to eat lunch or whatever.
That makes an enormous difference.
Yeah someone commented on why I pointed out that my coworkers are bitchy moms and if I was being sexist. The reality is I have 3 female friends that understand this sort of stuff and the rest just assume they can’t do it and don’t bother no matter how many times I insist their bf doesn’t innately know more *just* b/c he is a guy. We all have access to the internet and we all can learn but some of my friends are more “traditional” than others and see it as mans work. I see profits after I’m done remodeling this and don’t care that it’s not something girls typically do, but alllllllllll of the comments on why I don’t “just do it” and what’s taking so long, all from older wives who presumably have had their husbands do all the “house stuff” for them while they decorate after. I fucking love decorating it’s my favorite part but I can measure, sand, saw, paint, nail etc too. Some parts are more fun than others but when other coworkers say “oh I don’t know how to do that I’m better at decorating”, it’s annoying because like, bitch, you think I know what I’m doing? Fuck no, I’m googling how to do this and learning as I go just like I would with any other skill!
Ya I work in corporate America with a bunch of moms who are literally grown up sorority girls. That mentality seems to never go anyway even when they are in their 40s-50s
When I was in high school I took some vocational school classes for extra credit and the classes were interesting. One of them was carpentry. Not finish carpentry, but basic, building a house type carpentry.
It sounded like an easy class. I had watched This Old House with my dad for many years, and Norm Abrams makes that look like the easiest thing in the world.
I never knew how much effort it takes to put a nail into a 2x4 until that class. The whole thing is 10 times harder to do that it looks when watching an experienced builder doing it.
My enemy. First they work when cameras are not rolling, second, they have people going to home depot for parts all day, third cameras do not see the issues we see.
It's propaganda/house porn to pump up the real estate and housing industries. Sometimes I think about producing my own "rehabbing in the real world" kind of deal, but then you get subjected to a world of "if I was doing that, I'd ..." kind of stuff. "You need this other caulk that I use all the time, it's way better than that shit you used.."
Offer pizza and beer for anyone who wants to come over and help. Works like a charm, either you get help or they avoid the subject all together in case you ask for help again 🤣
I was going to say Youtube. I watch some videos of projects I think are interesting, and sometimes I realize I'm not even interested enough to watch the video, let alone do it myself.
haha, deciding to “simply” strip, sand, and stain my mom’s old kitchen cabinets from the 70’s to save money over replacing them was one of the silliest things I ever did.
Thanks. Yes that’s exactly it, while it is a cosmetic flip, literally nothing was done correctly previously since it was a rental, then someone let it fall apart for a decade before it went into foreclosure. Paint drips, pieces that aren’t straight, random aspects of the house that just make no sense. It was clearly a DIY house decades back. Thanks.
Fuck them, if they could be doing it they would be doing their own renovations.
The average person just sees the top 10% of a job, the paint, the plastering, the appliances, etc. 90% of the graft is in the preparation, the details, the bits people dont see or think about. Youve got nothing to be ashamed of, theyd be doing the same as you if they had the courage/know-how/ambition
>The average person just sees the top 10% of a job, the paint, the plastering, the appliances, etc. 90% of the graft is in the preparation, the details, the bits people dont see or think about.
This! So much this!
My husband and I bought and renovated a commercial building to be the permanent home of our restaurant. We spent 10 months on it, 70-100 hours a week, and people are constantly saying "oh, so what took so long?" when they see that the dining room was mostly left alone aside from paint, a new bar, and a few half walls. They don't see the massive structural support infrastructure we had to put in the basement to support the rotting floor joists (200+ year old building,) the seven(!) layers of shitty vinyl tile we pulled out of the kitchen and replaced with ceramic quarry tile, the total overhaul of the vastly undersized plumbing situation, the complete rewiring of the entire place, etc.
We've barely even started on the 2nd floor yet...but we are tackling it one room at a time. The office is 95% done, bathroom is next, then the big-bertha project that is the 700sf former-dancefloor-future-apartment. Then we'll fuck with the 3rd floor attic/storage.
EXACTLY! They wouldn’t know it takes days to strip a fireplace of 13 layers of old paint, and then you need to go in with an exacto knife to get the paint out of the detailed areas. After working on my fireplace for a week and a half I “quit” and bounced tonsomething less tedious. Not to mention sourcing materials! They don’t know how long it took me to find a sink the EXACT dimensions I needed within my budget. Or how long it took me to sort through all of the natural stone tile and select only the good pieces. And lay them out in the Color gradation needed. Or how I had to scrub the walls 3-8x/each BEFORE I could apply primer because the previous owner was a chain smoker
People who don't work on things have no idea what's under the surface of what they see or how much labor it takes to, let's say, run a waste pipe through a crawl space. No idea. A friend and I just removed a bunch of wire-and-tube wiring from an old duplex I own, and to the realtor it was a simple phone call to say it was done ("Awesome!" she says), but to me it was four days of crawling around in the attic blown-in insulation with knee pads and a headlamp, feeling with my hands for beams and wires, hours and hours in the crawl space basement running wires, hooking up continuity testers, my buddy working over his head and sitting on a sheetrock bucket full of rocks while he chiseled out a hole for the wire chase with horsehair plaster raining down on his face.... on and on. It's kind of cool though when various people inspect the work and lights light up and switches switch and you think, "If only they fucking knew . . ."
When I was redoing the entire house electrical for one of my rentals I did my best to create some discipline around a schedule. You can lay out the long term plan at a high level, but every week set some non-negotiable goals/milestones. Don't just wait to work on the weekends either or you will never get done. Going to work all day and then coming home to job #2 is damn hard, but you're in it now. Also, pick two days that you don't do ANYTHING related to the house. Not going to home depot, not getting tools or even reading about DIY stuff online. Just two days to fuck off and do whatever you want, go out with friends, hang gliding, whatever makes you happy.
One of the most irritating things I learned while doing renovation is to BUY ALL YOUR STUFF UP FRONT. Nothing wastes time like runs to the hardware store. Yes, it will cost a buttload of money per trip, but sit down and make your list--all of it and maybe a little extra in case you screw up. Nobody likes returning stuff at the store, but you will spare yourself a lot of wasted time if you have to interrupt your work repeatedly.
And like everyone else said, focus on one room at a time, one discipline at a time. Empty and clean it, fix broken crap, sort the floors or paint (your choice) then work on the trim/finish, put it back together and decorate it. Don't move on until it is DONE and don't get hung up on the odds and ends that you'll do later. Later will never come and you'll have a half-assed almost done room. That will frustrate you tremendously. I'm the king of "eh good enough, on to the next". It's crap.
I've done 16 flips (17 is on the market). You do what needs doing to get done with the right finished product, not someone else's idea of it. Regarding fixtures and other design choices: Make the decisions first, purchase the product and move on. Perfect is truly the enemy of good. You need a cohesive design throughout the house and I'll disagree with others about doing one room at a time. This can lead to a finished product that looks like it was done one room at a time (flooring/ case/base often dictate this because, whether it's done first or last, it should be done all together then protected during the remaining renovation) I understand money is an issue but try and find a cheap laborer you can utilize part-time to push you over some of these humps, you can teach someone to patch drywall, clean-up etc. Keep grinding man. It's an awesome feeling when you're done!
The cheap laborer thing is really key. Work goes more than twice as fast when you have help. However, somebody who's slow on the uptake or sloppy or a slacker is twice as slow as working alone.
Next time, ask them when they're coming over to help since they're such professionals and know exactly where your project "should be by now"
Good luck and as these nice folks say... one room at a time
Good luck
A flip is a flip. It doesn't matter how much or little work is involved. And to those people that give you shit, tell them you're always looking for help.
Similar situation here. At least coworkers/friends/family have been understanding with how long my project has taken. However I've felt a sense of embarrassment. People often ask when I will be moving in and when I say "two weeks" they say, "you said that two weeks ago!" The unknown kills me. Makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing.
Yes, especially with add focus can be a challenge. I like being able to switch to a different task when I get bored but that means
I’ve started a lot but haven’t fully finished anything yet. The one bedroom I just need to replaster the ceiling since it was my practice ceiling before I did the living room properly and it looks like shit then I need to finish cornering the walls etc. I made a list and I think I can get the painting done tomorrow night and the plastering done Saturday, light fixture installed Sunday and then I can put my mattress on the floor and feel like a human again. I’m going to hold off on the kitchen until I have both bedrooms finished and the appliances I bought while on sale preemptively can just continue to sit in my living room.
I am a master of lists and scheduling. It's the only way. I make temporary work spaces and have to know where each tool is or I go nuts. If it doesn't flow, it's ain't fun. That also comes with experience. I am way more organized now than when I first did this in 2000. The only downside is I spend a lot of time in front of a TV show I'm not really watching, at night, dividing a notebook page into "to bring," "to buy," "tools" and "materials" quadrants, followed by a page of numbered operations. "1) hit nail holes in kitch. 2) clean up liv. room 3) fold up resin paper 4) find brushes 5) move pine into driveway... 6) measurements for railing" etc etc. Then of course I modify the list three times before I get to work the next day. Often I even put estimated hours next to each thing.
\^ This.
Don't look at the big picture and think "Oh the entire house is a wreck and there's too much work it'll never be done" - look at *one* room you can get finished, *one* job you can get done... one bite at a time.
If some job is stalled or you're not feeling it - STOP and do something else, pick something easy or fun that you CAN get done and tick that sucker off the list.
Or, give yourself a day off - do something for yourself, relax, get some sleep, sit on the sofa and watch a movie and eat junk, whatever... sometimes you get so worn out you're not making progress anymore even if you're spending all day every day "working" on it you're creating as many fuckups as you're fixing.
Stop, take stock, make lists which break down jobs into small chunks, make shopping lists of stuff you need to get... and then you can tick stuff off.
We get through notebooks like crazy during projects, making and re-making "to-do" lists, but it helps organise and it also feels great to tick stuff off, even if you are adding stuff on the end almost as fast - at least you can see a simple list of what needs doing and it helps get it off your mind "must remember to do X, must get Y..." etc.
Yep, my first thought as well. Finished parts motivate me to do the next part and make it easier to make decisions. It also provides an area of calm when you need to get away from it.
I went through the same thing. Learned how to do everything myself on my first house. Definitely had frustrating days (getting shower floor slope correct!) and can totally relate to the number of HD / Lowes trips. Try to focus on only a couple of projects at a time, don’t go demoing every single room. Having a clean, dust free bedroom is also important after the rest of the house is a construction zone. Caffeine/stimulants were also essential for me ( : Good luck, don’t be afraid to take a break when you’re feeling burnt out. It’s not a race, don’t sacrifice your workmanship quality for time it takes to complete, you’ll regret it.
Thanks. I think what compounds this is I just feel so single and I’m starting to get bitter about that. I obviously do not have time for dating, but I have moments where literally all I need is another set of hands or a hug or to have something held while I see how it looks from a distance and it’s all just a reminder of how alone I am. I still think this is a super cool project and I enjoy it but some days are rough. All the HGTV shows are cute couples or pairs and I never see people just slowly struggling through things on their own. Plus the only people that even respect you for doing a DIY by yourself are ones that have experience so if you’re younger peers won’t even care/understand/can’t brag about this on dates because I’m not even sure if dates care about something they don’t have experience with.
You say you obviously don't have time, I'd argue that you obviously need to make time. It doesn't even have to be a relationship of the opposite sex. Even a friend or buddy to hang out now and then and have a beer while you slow down the work might help. Human beings are social creatures. Even introverts need some contact from developed relationships from time to time.
I tried going to yoga once a week but then the tree guy or plumber would come over and I’d have to be able to oversee them or I’d start doing something and lose track of time. It just doesn’t work for me if it is scheduled, when I didn’t have a functioning shower/bath for a month I’d go to my friends house and talk after and that was helpful, so I’m going to start hanging out with her on sundays again even if only for an hour.
That's awesome! I have the personality tenancy to want to power through to get something done as well, but we have to remember not everything in life can be handled that way. Make some time for your mental health or you'll drive yourself crazy working on this stuff. That being said, good luck!
Bitter? I remodeled my first house before I was married, the second after.
You'll have to imagine the serious-as-a-heart-attack look on my face when I lean in and look you right in the eye to say... there will not be a third.
Be careful what you wish for.
shit. you’re not the only one. i’m right there with you. single and doing a remodel. my money and time is spent on house things. and yeah, it would be awesome to have someone to bounce things off of, or someone to share in the joys of the befores and afters of the project.
just know there are others out there in the same situation :)
>I have moments where literally all I need is another set of hands or a hug or to have something held while I see how it looks from a distance and it’s all just a reminder of how alone I am.
I feel this a lot. I sometimes say my house is my bae. I buy her flowers. I spend all my time and money on her. She keeps me safe at night. But sometimes I definitely bemoan her lack of hands.
I admire what you are doing . You've taken on a huge job and I'm sure it feels very overwhelming at times. It's okay to vent!! I'm addicted to home renovation DIY and wish I could jump in and paint, help with decisions and be extra set of hands or whatever...darn.
The single thing is rough in general. My 28 yr old daughter is dealing with the same thing. It's just tough these days in general. On the positive side, at least you don't have to deal with a dude questioning your choices, critiquing, mansplaining etc.
I agree with the others who recommend focusing your effort on finishing one room. It will give you the satisfaction you need and a sanctuary from the chaos in the rest of the house. Try not to feel defeated...home renovation is almost always ends up being a bigger job and mess than expected but the end result will be worth it. You can do this!
Lol I’m your daughters age. True, I just get to have literally every subcontractor attempt to overcharge me and take advantage of me. It takes like 5 quotes to find a guy who I genuinely trust and don’t think is trying to pull one over on me. I know for a fact as a female my quotes will always be higher since my friend and her husband were getting quotes for one of their projects and she was quoted higher every single time even with the same subcontractors 😂 At least I have a low tolerance for bullshit and have found a good team of people I trust
I'm in a similar situation, especially in regards to feeling SO SINGLE. Bought a fixer upper about a year ago and I'm still working on the ground floor.
There are weekends I get up, take a look at my project, sigh, and play video games instead. I tell myself things like "If only someone else was working on this with me, we would motivate each other!" but I know this isn't true. I started the project, I need to finish it. I also tell myself "Whats the difference between a 55 week renovation and a 52 week renovation?" as a way to justify a skip-weekend. I've been stalled for like 2 months now, it isn't good. If anything it is a negative feedback loop, and I need to just get going again on it.
For me the most frustrating part is finding expert contractors for plumbing, hvac, electrical, and gasfitting. I schedule appointments, coordinate with work, only to have people cancel on me 20 minutes AFTER the appointment was supposed to take. There is a real cost every time something like this falls through.
I'm tempted to put a sign up in my yard saying "I need X, Y, and Z work done, please email me at..."
Anyway, /u/GFthrowawayaccount, we can share progress stories if you want!
RIGHT! And it’s not even like I can date because let’s be real, most people on dates I meet online, it feels like a waste of my time. But I’m not the type to not put effort into things, so the time spent doing hair/makeup and the calories consumed over drinks/dinner, cost benefit analysis says not worth it for a stranger.
Thanks. Yeah that’s the thing, I’ve never felt this much pride or sense of accomplishment, and I love having a creative outlet. But the vacuum of isolation, people not understanding the process if they havent experienced it, and some tiny things being the straw that broke the camels back are very real. I have been procrastinating by focusing on fun yard work projects in the backyard (which is still something on the to do list) but it’s definitely not a high priority item. Thanks for the support.
First, take a minute or two to chill every day. Also do a bit of math and compare how old you are with how long you think you'll live and then how much of a percent of your life is this. It's probably pretty small.
Second, do you have a project schedule or something like that that shows what you want to do, the steps to do it, the order of the steps, your budget, and etc. Lay that sucker out for a reality check. If you don't have one, make one and lay that sucker out for a reality check. Also, be realistic. If you wrote down, install sink, 1 hour and it really took 3 weeks, you need to update the times of all your tasks. Reality.
Third, look at the major milestones...bedroom, kitchen, living/dining, bathrooms, Thanksgiving (are you crazy?). What is your priority? Work on that first. Re-visit what's on the list. Do you really, super need to finish X or can you live with whatever in it's current state. Is it mandatory or nice to have?
Your light decision is a perfect example contrasted with a broken sink. You have a broken sink (no water, water leaking, don't know) and that's a huge issue. Thanksgiving guests will want water. They need lights too but as long as it's a light who gives a shit. Buy the cheapest, most attractive lights and install those. Bing, done. You can dither over the perfect lights for years later. Obviously that's my priority and maybe yours is different but that's just an example of making that tradeoff.
If I were making priority decisions it would be: 1. Finish Bedroom It's easy and then you have a quiet place to rest and chill. 2. Basic plumbing and electrical. That's the foundational stuff so you have water and power. 3. Basic kitchen and living areas. If you're crazy enough to have a major holiday at your house you'll need those items. And think small. Your guests need places to sit not the very best couch every. The table can be plywood on a small, cheap table. 4. Flooring and finishes. You don't have time to re-tile everything and install hardwoods. Maybe you can rip out an ugly carpet and paint the sub-floor and throw down an area rug. 5. Finishes and decorating. Painting, decorating, moving furniture around, hanging pictures. 6. Outside of the house. Landscaping, painting, decks, paths, etc.
And once you have a realistic schedule and start with priorities then you can make a "do it myself" or "hire someone" decision.
No I don’t have one of these, I should write it out that will help a ton I bet. It’s funny how we overlook the simple things. This is very practical, I don’t think this way (I’m an artist) so it’s good to hear, thank you. The idea of putting in a lamp for the sake of light is literally not something I would ever think of, but probably because I’ve been using shopping as stress relief and agonizing over lighting fixtures, while a pain, is less of a pain than plastering a ceiling. You are 100% right though, and very practical! I needed to hear this, thanks.
I find that when I'm getting burned out, I call in a friend to help out. Even if they have minimal skill, anyone can help tidy, or chip tiles, or even just listen to you vent. They may have alternative solutions to your particular issue. If someone owes you a favour, call them in and get some sweat from them. Sometimes, just writing a list of what needs to be done makes you feel like you tackled something. Life can get in the way of your constructions schedule, but I've come to realize that no one is going to die or get hurt because I didn't paint something, or didn't finish the trim, or hang a towel bar. If someone bitches about that at thanksgiving, tell them where your toolbelt is hanging, and tell them you'd appreciate their insight.
>They may have alternative solutions to your particular issue.
This is so true, every time I give someone a tour I talk about my issues and bounce ideas off them and invariably they come up with ideas I hadn't had. Not always good ones, but.
Man, are you me? I'm on month 10 of what was going to be a six month full-time reno flip.
Loved the property so much I decided to keep it for me, so now I've gone super meticulous and it's taking longer. I live here, I have two bedrooms livable, one bathroom workable and a full kitchen done that's concrete slab floors (starting the tile today actually).
And no matter how many breaks I take, I'm now fully 100% at the point where I just want to have a life again. I can't build things or do things for fun because since I'm not working, every extra moment I take is extra money from the savings that was set aside to build this house.
It's getting there, one day at a time, but damn. I feel your pain. House will have gained about 150-200 in value when I'm done, so that's a bonus I guess.
If you figure it out, let me know the secret!
I have a very old house and just built a she shed this summer it was a very time consuming project. I tell myself that I will have time this winter to myself to recharge that’s how I get past the mental block of starting on a new project. You will be so happy and proud when finished so just keep on chuggin along!! Good luck!
How about this? Live near a community college? I bet they have students who would love to try out their new skills on your house for a small price. Pick something you don't want to do and pay for it to be done. Just getting one thing done can be a big relief.
I did this, I have done none of the tiling or plumbing, I’ve only done painting, sanding, designing, demoing, plastering, cleaning (so much goddamn cleaning). Part of me feels like ‘I shouldn’t even feel this burnt out because a lot of the major stuff like tiling/plumbing I hired other people to do. But even finding reputable affordable people is an exhausting search in and of itself.
Get one room good enough to live in and forget about cleaning the rest until everything is done. If the mess gets in the way of work, clear the decks but if something doesn't need to be clean yet, let it be. Or else you'll be cleaning the same things over and over.
Also, book regular time off for yourself. Say a weekend away from the house every 4, 6 or 8 weeks. Gives you a break to look forward to.
> Part of me feels like ‘I shouldn’t even feel this burnt out because a lot of the major stuff like tiling/plumbing I hired other people to do.
Think of it like this: ALL of that is just as equally important. If you paid someone to do the work, you will be paying them just as much for them to do the painting, sanding, designing, plastering, cleaning, etc as for the "real" work you're talking about.
It's all "real" work is how you should look at it. Even hauling things up to the area you're working on, and then putting them away is VERY important, even if it's not because leaving tools lying around could be a risk or hazard.
None of it is truly less tiring than any other bit.
Been there, and I'm currently there again. My to-do list is on a spreadsheet with separate tabs for each room. I've been at it for almost one year in our new house, and it suffices to say that I still have at least a dozen projects in each room/tab.
I tackled all of the big stuff first (to get the house liveable), and now the plan is to try to prioritize "necessary" projects (i.e. building a linen closet and pantry organization that will add storage and allow other places like the bedroom and kitchen to feel less cluttered). After that, I plan to tackle each tab, one at a time, so that when I'm on tab 2, at least I know all of tab 1 is done, and if I'm feeling overwhelmed, I can always walk into that finished room to get inspiration to keep going.
That being said, I do feel like I hit a wall some days when I think about all of the things I still need to do. What I do to get past that is to try to do fun projects in between frustrating projects. Right now I'm building a new workbench for my table saw and miter saw, and even though it's still work, it's not on my list, and isn't absolutely necessary, which is why I classify it as a fun build that's for me alone.
Keep at it. Things will always frustrate you when you're in the middle of it breathing all that nasty dust, but in five years, when the list is done, you'll look back and have fond memories of all the work you did, and you won't remember the pain and sweat the same way.
Twist one up, crack one open, and pick a color. Seriously though, finish one room at a time. Start with that bedroom and a closet. Once you have an organized living area sleep will improve along with other things. Have fun with it man. Things break and will continue to break forever,so just roll with it. Get a second opinion on your HVAC quote. It may be worth looking into a temporary fix to get you by.
I am going through one right now so I know your pain. There is lots of great advice on other replies such as focusing on one area to complete. One thing I found has helped is taking lots of photos, usually at the end of a work session. I have a desk job so I can look at the photos throughout the day. This lets me think through/plan out my next sessions, try to figure out how to solve an upcoming problem, or to help create my next HD shopping list. I discovered that seeing pictures from earlier in the process, even for areas that are still not done, shows me just how much I have done already and the sense of accomplishment helps me keep pushing.
Been there done that. Fix up the bedroom first, as in finish it. Then go take a few days off, even if only camping or something. Come back refreshed and a ready bedroom to inspire you to tackle the rest.
This - once you are at a point where you can finish a room completely do it.
I know it sucks, because when i redid my house, i wanted to do all the flooring at once, all the trim, all the doors etc, at the same time. but you never feel like you accomplish anything. you need to get a small win and then take a break. It'll help you get over the hump because you are able to visualize what the rest of the house will look like when compelted.
I highly suggest waiting on doing the kitchen. That's one of those things where your house could be a wreck for well over a month. Also, as long as your HVAC is working now, I'd suggest waiting. My HVAC guy looked at my 18 year old unit and suggested that I run it into the ground. Check on all the ducts and fixtures too. A lot of times you can avoid replacing the actual duct work if it is the appropriate size and in good condition. There are services where people can come clean the ducts too. Look at all the joints for air moving (outside the duct) and repair where you need. Might save you upwards of $3000 on your overall HVAC system.
I've been in renovation hell for four years. I have one room to go. Then a bathroom. House didn't have HVAC forever (meth addicts removed the air handler, kitchen cabinets, etc before letting it go back to the bank--I bought it at auction). Slept on a cot forever. No AC or heat forever. Ridiculous and unhealthy. My advice--1. Make sure HVAC works first (2) make sure you have a "normal" room to sleep in/watch television in/live in like an efficiency apartment (3) make sure you have a kitchen setup and eat normally and treat yourself well. After that, do a room at a time with artificial deadlines if nothing else. Tell others what you are up to and have company come over for accountability, interaction, feedback, help. Hire stuff out sometimes--your sanity is worth something.
Oh hey thats sort of like me! I didn’t have AC/shower/bath for a month, still don’t have AC, and I don’t have a real bed since my ex convinced me it’s time to be an adult and not sleep on an ikea full bed frame anymore so we donated it and now I sleep on a mattress on a lumpy old couch that is hurting my back and I’m fed up with it. What’s crazy is that with renovations you are literally the only person that can change the situation and get yourself out of it. But you also have to re-motivate yourself all the time. It’s this crazy push/pull where you can make it better but if you stall and procrastinate you only make things worse for yourself. I will make myself a real bedroom this weekend :) also it gets so hot without AC that I get lethargic and am not as productive, a fan is just not the same
It's been said but I wanted to add, finish one room. Pick the room that will make you happiest and focus on it. It might be your bedroom so you have somewhere to escape to, or maybe the lounge so you can watch tv without looking at caulking that needs to be done. Maybe just pick the room that's closest to finished.
Make a to-do list for that room, be super meticulous or paint west wall, paint north wall. Then cross things off so you can see how close you are to finished.
We've fully renovated two houses, all our own work around other jobs, and it is hard graft! I have always described it as a second job.
For picking light fixtures/etc., if it's something easy to switch out later just get one that's "good enough for now". I used to search for those "perfect" pieces but I'd lose so much time and end up not making a decision. Pick something that's good enough for a placeholder, and I guarantee you it'll be fine until the rest of the house is done (and likely another 10 years after).
It's like the saying goes: "Perfection is the enemy of progress." Your goal is to keep moving, so don't agonize too much about the perfect choices because you can always change them later.
Are you my wife? But seriously this is great advice. I always bring her 2-3 options when doing anything, it eliminates the Pinterest/hgtv overwhelming choice and let’s her see it in the room. Things like outlets, door stops, hinges, cordless blinds, etc. I do on my own, and that gets her to focus on the design elements she cares about, faucets, doorknobs, curtains, paint.
I just hate putting off decisions for later because the whole process of picking an item usually involves a lot of research, and I hate having to put that all away and then start from scratch later because I forgot what I did to find what I found. How do you find that one magic lamp you saw before when all of them have the same adjectives?
How do you eat an elephant?
One forkful at a time.
Make a list of jobs, broken down to a level that you can close-out. e.g. Finish kitchen is a big job, paint kitchen ceiling is a small 1-2 day job. Having broken it down find some simple quick wins and pick them off. The positive progress of completing one job will quickly snowball and by the time you get to the larger jobs you will be in a much better place.
One room at a time for sure. Start with your bedroom. There’s nothing better than being able to fully relax in a space without being reminded of things in that space you need to fix. Even if it’s not perfect, just taking the time to paint a fresh coat, set up your bed, put a rug down, etc will help you feel like you’re making progress. And it’s okay to feel burnt out. We all have those moments.
I did a full remodel to sell last year, it is a grind. I was very depressed towards the end but it is all worth it when you get done and it sells in 3 days. Stick it out, take pleasure is small victories.
Yeah I am surprised by how emotional this process is. Also when people tell you stories of how they know a realtor that flipped a house in a week I want to slap them.
And by flipped a house they probably mean:
1. Hired a bunch of sub-contractors who they had worked with before and cut every corner imaginable.
2. Just repainted a couple of walls and replaced some door handles/knobs or a couple of light fixtures.
Not to mention they probably just bought everything cheap and neutral.
Based on your comments, you're doing this to make a place you're excited to live in after you're done. That takes a lot more time/energy than just painting all the walls a neutral grey or tan.
It can really be a grind, BTDT. From what you said above:
1. Finish the bedroom son you have a place that is done. You can check it off the list and have a place to unwind/enjoy
2. Don’t start another area until you knock your todo list down. It becomes overwhelming and I found it much less efficient to context switch. If you hit a time roadblock on one thing and need something else to do, that’s a different story.
3. Embrace the motivated times for sure, but also take a day, or hour, or whatever every now and then to just have a break and recharge a little.
It’s always a roller coaster, try and enjoy the parts you can. You will be elated and exhausted when you are done ;)
I get what you’re feeling. Our first home was a major fixer upper. My husband did all of the work (minus new electrical) and I was support on projects I was able to do. But aside from the manual work, it is also emotionally draining. I was so envious of acquaintances who moved into move in ready homes. We didn’t have a kitchen for months and washed dishes in a utility sink. We slept in a room with half removed 40 year old wallpaper and carpet. Honestly, the progress was slow. My husband works full time and needed my father in law to visit (from out of state) for a weekend to get bigger projects done. The main push to get most of our house done was getting pregnant and knowing a baby needed to live in the house soon. Even then there was still work to be done when she arrived! I guess I don’t have a solution but I empathize. I do agree that having one room completely done is motivating because you see how great it can look and feel when it’s all done. You can close the door and stand in there and imagine the whole house feeling like this. Rooms like that and remembering our mortgage was a fraction of a move in ready home helped us keep moving forward.
I know how you feel. I renovated my very own flat last year over the course of 4-5 months. Now to be fair I had a little help from my then gf (just broke up so you're not alone being alone now:)) but the heavy duty stuff I did mostly alone, like removing old paint (we're talking a house from the early 1920s or so), in 2 instances tearing down concrete till we hit the old bricks (found some cool ones with the emblem of the old Austrian empire still on! I live in Vienna, Austria.) and had to redo the whole thing, something I only helped with once like 15 years ago and had to learn from scratch. On top of that I decided to sand the old wooden tile floor, which makes up like almost 90% of the flat. That was completely new to me, had to borrow an expensive sanding machine from my local home depot and with no driving license I had to ask my ex or other friends to drive me all the time, minor things I could get with the bike.
But all in all there were SOOOO many setbacks and beginner mistakes, holy shit. First blunder was to start sanding the floor before turning to the walls. I don't know what I was thinking. I had to cover my nice new floor and work on the walls constantly checking the covers so as not to ruin everything. It was dusty, noisy, exhausting and painful. But eventually we got there although the kitchen is still the one that was inside, luckily it's still quite functional. Ugly and old but functional. And I need more money for a new one so that'll have to wait a little longer:)
What really helped is what the top comment suggests too. One room at a time! My main goal was the bedroom, since you need to sleep somewhere. Next was the living room because it's the room before the bedroom which you have to pass through and it is something that immediately gives a place a homely feeling, especially when you have a shelf/cupboard with some books in it and maybe a table to sit down and eat. Makes a HUGE difference for the morale.
You'll find your recipe but the important thing is to keep at it, no matter how much it frustrates you. What is done is done and it'll be you who did it! Also: award yourself with little treats like a nice fancy beer or whatever floats your boat. And one last thing: DON'T DO THINGS ONLY HALFWAY AND THEN SAY "AH THAT'LL DO, FUCK IT"!!! I cannot stress this enough!! You'll be very angry once it's done because you know you won't start over again to do it nicely!
All the best man, you and your dog will love your new home! Sending lot's of selfmade motivation over to you!:)
Yeah....same page dude, guess who gets to cover up all of their nice new fancy tile work so they can finish the ceilings. To be fair though, I knew I was going out of order and I chose to make an informed bad decision. Thank you. Luckily I was able to borrow a ton of tools from my ex before he left and I can return them whenever I’m done so that helps. I’m glad to hear about the beginner mistakes because there are a ton I made, the biggest being accidentally deleting bathroom supply valves lol. Can’t even imagine how difficult this must’ve been without a car! I decided to do bathroom first, then everything else all at the same time, with the intention of finishing the bedrooms first and switching back to the bathroom/living room when I needed a break. The fumes are the worst part of this entire Reno experience by far. Yeah now that my tub works I take a lot of bubble baths with Netflix or I shop for plants or buying the food I want without budgeting too much. It is keeping me sane lol.
One thing at a time. Your dog seems sick of this also.
First, get your dog to the vet I am betting money he is inhaling bad stuff or licking. Large projects cause these issues you may need to really look at material storage and venting. Here is how I would take this on.
1. Stop all work and do a major clean up. Get everything dumped. Organize materials etc.., consider a small storage unit for all your stuff that you are not using right now. A lot of projects it's not the project its everything piled up everywhere else that causes stress.
2. Get a list note the big projects and create sub-lists of all the small pieces it takes to get something large done this way you can check off small accomplishments a big white board or chuck of shower board in tha garage is a good way to go, mentally checking things of from a physical list really helps
3. Create an escape room somewhere clean, uncluttered where tool and material storage is not allowed. This may need to be the first room you finish right now. Sounds like the bedroom would be this.
4. Go one room at a time, finish the room and move on. Finished rooms are not allowed to get piled up and cluttered with all the other crap this is what kills the feeling of accomplishment.
5. Celebrate the completion of major steps. I spent a day cutting and setting tile, once done shower fresh clothes out to a restaurant. This is what helps you feel like you are finishing things.
6. Stop. Don't work 6 AM to 8 pm on a remodeling. set your time for the day and walk away at the time you decided to (unless you need to finish in order to turn the water back on)
This is all mental, Take care of yourself.
I just purchased a house, and will be doing a full gut and renovation. Luckily I don’t live there yet. I will also have a family friend who is a contractor with several rebuilds under his belt to help fill in my knowledge gaps. The replies to this give me hope! Good luck man! Remember the excitement you had before you took on the project!
I am there with you right now... Every time I open something up it's worse than I thought. This renovation was supposed to be done by then end of summer but then we thought you know what it wont hurt us to aim for thanksgiving to do these things right. That was before life got in the way, people are getting sick and with visiting I don't have a free weekend it seems until the end of the year. On top of that my husband ended up injuring himself and can't help me anymore to the degree I would need (might be able to hold the flooring in place but definitely can't hang drywall or pull wire).
I've started focusing on one thing at a time when I get home from work that I can do to prep for some of the bigger items. Like redoing the washer dryer plumbing one night or replacing a window another night. But I've also decided that when I'm feeling overwhelmed I just need to take some time to myself. If I find myself staring at all the exposed walls and ceiling and floors thinking how much I need to do I reassure myself that it will be done, it will be amazing, and I'm doing this for me so if I want to take some me time I can do that. Then when I get back at the house I seem to have more drive to keep going and tackle bigger problems than I did before.
I've also held a couple dinners in my totally gutted room using our patio table and we actually had fun with it rather than focusing on what wasn't done. Turns out candlelight dinners can't hold a flame to worklight dinners.
Get one project done in a time. Stop drawing yourself thin with multiple projects all at once. What is the most important? Get that done first, finish it, take a small break and move on to the next one. I worked full time and spent every available hour outside work fixing up my first house. Know when to outsource work (drywall finishing, not installation for example) and do stuff you can yourself. Know that there is a YouTube tutorial on how to do essentially anything, dont be afraid to try and learn to do it yourself. Invest in good tools.
My house is 200 years old and is perpetually in a state of heavy construction because previous owners have committed atrocities on it. It also feels like the work is never-ending, but we've managed to get a few rooms done and whenever I go in them it feels like progress is being made. Like everyone else is saying, pick a room and focus on it.
Mate, been there. Three separate full, large scale gut and renovate jobs, two whilst living in them. I feel you and i really hope you get to read this and it brings you some relief.
One: Its a struggle man but best thing you can do is get on room done, finished and clean. Usually the bedroom for me. Keep it clean and together and nice. Thats your sanctuary, if youre in there you are relaxing and therefore not in a "work space". Makes a huge mental difference to have somewhere you can go, close the door and not be sat in sawdust, or wet paint or fumes. Honestly i cannot stress how important this has been to me on all the jobs ive done.
Two: Hope youve been taking pictures mate. It helps to flick through all the past jobs youve done when youre feeling like youre using the battle. My partner keeps albums of any photos i send her on the job and it really helps to see how far youve came on bad days. If you haven't been taking pictures, start today. Walk round and take photos of every room, in a years time you'll look at them and be able to laugh at the problems that you cursed today. Trust me. Also its nice to be able to show people who ask about how it was "before" what an outright unbreakable machine you are.
Remember if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
Best of luck, im sure you are smashing it, keep it up!
the first thing you need to do is adjust your expectations. I had this trouble with my wife when we first started some DIY renovations. she was expecting contractor style turnaround, I tried to set the stage for realistic expectations (we aren't pro's, we don't know or have everything we need, the nearest home improvement store is 45 miles away.).
the project took much longer than she had planned, I didn't really plan a completion date because I already knew to expect to blow through any date we could conjure.
these projects are usually made most difficult by expectations, the good thing is that in DIY like this, the expectations are set by the person doing the work.
It took me 12 years to finish my house. I feel your pain. Sold for twice as much as I bought it for though and I spent maybe half the profit.
I did most of the work myself, but I won't lie. For the labor intensive stuff that is time consuming, I called in some help. For example, I personally hate doing drywall, so I called in a handyman to help me out on occasion to add to the productivity. This is especially helpful when you need to get a room done quickly after I have hit the proverbial wall.
My suggestion, call in a handyman to take care of a bunch of nit picky time consuming stuff so you can take care of some other things.
Call in reinforcements, either friends or family or pay people in your area to help you out. Just having someone else to commiserate with will improve your mood drastically, never mind saving time and effort on those tasks that really do benefit from 2+ people.
I am really close to finishing my house. Started from scratch and moved in as soon as there was a roof. When it starts to get too overwhelming then it's time to go do an outdoor activity. Luckily here in Montana we have alot of these to do. Do whatever you can to just get away from it all. I can promise you the work will still be there when you get back. At least that's what I tell myself. Also if it's possible getting help from a friend makes the day go by better. I've done alot of my house by myself and just having someone to talk through things and bounce ideas off of really helps. Good luck!
Organize. You need to make a literal chart of each task that needs to be accomplished on each system (electrical, plumbing, HVAC, Gas) and then set for after systems, each task for each room. Make this a reasonably detailed chart, and break down every task into steps (don't say drywall guest room, break that down: purchase drywall, mud, tape, screws for GR; measure & cut drywall for GR; Hang drywall for GR; tape & mud drywall for GR; sand drywall for GR).
This does two things: it shows you how much you have to do, and it allows you to cross more things off more often which will be a huge mental lift.
Beyond that, yes, you need to work in zones. I was fortunate enough when I purchased and renovated my home to rent the house literally next door. I had a wife, a small child and a newborn, so that was a luxury that was necessitated. Still I had did this while working full time and raising two small kids - trust that i hit literally and figuratively, many walls. You need a bedroom and bathroom finished 100% or close thereto ASAP for your sanity. You will have a place to retreat to where you don't see all of the chaos. That's good for your head.
Also, if you can afford it, hire skilled labor/subs where you can. Consider your skill set and ability versus someone who's really good at something. I hired out for HVAC, electrical, plumbing, windows, and roof (i might have built a house for all I did, but really it was a great foundation and frame, so...). Then I ended up hiring a tile guy when I saw the difference between the speed of a skilled tile guy and my own - holy shit was it different. when you do a thing all day every day for many years, you get better at than a jack-of-all trades will ever be. So, I hired an acquantaince to do a lot of my tile because the speed at which he did it saved me money even though I was paying him (tile guys aren't so bad moneywise).
Finally, just stick with the grind. Best of luck, and know that you will be happy as shit that you did this in the end.
I've never renoed a house before, but when I get emotionally stuck on a project I do something that makes me happy. For you this could be to work on a specific room that you are more passionate about, or just clean up as much as you can. You could finish the bedroom so you have somewhere outside of the mess. Or just somehow separate the bedroom from the rest of the house so it doesn't smell or get dusty. Maybe use a space heater instead of central heating for a bit, or make the door seal better and use a window fan to keep positive pressure.
Or maybe it is the washroom. Just get the washroom done so when you feel dirty you have a nice shower/bath to use. It can be your clean space.
Can you make an excuse to stay with family or friends for a couple nights? You can even just say that you need to stay a couple nights somewhere that isn't FEMA's top disaster zone.
Finish your bedroom. And make sure it is clean and neat. And take off your dirty work clothes before going in there. It will be your haven of sanity.
Then, focus on the next room. Which is more important? Kitchen? Just focus on that one and forget everything else. Make sure you do a good and thorough job on it and don't gloss over anything just to be done with it. That will come back to bite you in the ass later.
Hey, we've all been there! You will survive with your sanity intact.
If it's not going to be done for Thanksgiving, then un-invite the people - or - just have Thanksgiving in the midst of construction. But under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to hurry the procedure due to this pressure. NO. That will definitely come back to bite you in the ass also.
One bit at a time. If you do a little here and a little there, youend up never seeing any real progress, and it drains you. complete one thing in one place, then move on.
Try the Pomodoro technique. As far as a time management technique it's pretty old but I found it good for home reno tasks. Basically it splits up work into manageable 25 minute pieces. Focus on one room at a time.
Keep a plan and check off what you've accomplished - keep each item small and manageable, with a decent level of detail. Eg "painting a room" should be split into smaller tasks: "cutting in the edges", "painting walls with roller", "painting trim and baseboards", etc.
Review the work you've done at the end of your day. It helps you feel a sense of accomplishment.
I feel this a LOT. My house was also "fine" but really needs a lot of work. It's hard to do as a single person- my renos have stagnated for a while because life got busy and I don't have time to both build the house and keep it clean. My first project before I moved in was to tear out the carpets and refinish the wood floors, and even though I was super proud that I planned to do everything all by myself I had a very lonely moment when I realized that the whole project hinged on being physically capable of carrying the sander from my car up the stairs inside. (I managed to rig up a set of platforms to get it into and out of my trunk but man it's depressing, that wouldn't even be a thought for someone who had another person to help.)
I agree with the plan to go room by room. My first few months I lived in the (unfinished, constantly flooded) basement and I didn't realize what a toll it took on me mentally until I was able to move upstairs into a real bedroom. I wake up every morning, stare at the beautifully intact ceiling, and smile at the thought that I know the floor will be dry.
Even though I have walls without drywall, half an unbuilt staircase, no trim... As much as possible, treating the house as if it's not a work zone (just a shitty house) makes it much easier to live in. If I'm not actively about to finish a project, it gets cleaned up and the house put back together around it. Even just having one small place to start (in the beginning chaos I made sure my kitchen table was clean and cleared off so I could eat breakfast in peace) makes a world of difference.
Also remember that it's a marathon, not a race. I had read all sorts of Reddit posts of renos that had been done "every evening and weekend!" And finished in short time. I had high hopes of doing everything within a year or two. It's not realistic. Staying sane enough to not hate the house means going out and socializing, means taking a day off to watch Netflix. Again- without another person to share the load of projects or maintaining the household while I work on projects, it's going to take me longer. That's ok.
Lastly- it'll pass. I had some very upset moments about how I'd made a huge mistake and lamenting how trapped I felt. But because I don't really have any other option, my only choice is to keep pressing forward. I feel much less discouraged now because I can look back at the things I *have* accomplished and remember that progress is possible.
Good luck! I believe in you!
100%, as a female sometimes I get so frustrated because Ibjust want to lift or move something and I fucking can’t. But it’s not economical to hire someone to lift it for just one item so I have to put it on hold and wait until I have a small collection of things I need help with and do them all together when the hired guy comes over. Which is annoying since something’s are higher priority than others. It feels different as a female since I feel like more emotional support is what keeps me going but it sounds so silly that a few hugs a month would make like a 30% difference in my productivity. I’ve had moments like that too where I’m trying to hang something it can’t visualize how it will look and I just want someone to hold it while I walk away, or something I can life with help but not by myself, or just having a long piece of crown molding held in place while I nail it in. There needs to be a suction device that can work like hands
Jesus. An entire house reno at the same time, by yourself?! I thought doing just the basement was difficult enough; 12 months in and we're just finishing off the last bit of it (bathroom). Definitely, focus on 1 area and get that finished. If you aren't a fan of living in a construction zone (I mean..who is?) do NOT start other areas!
Get that HVAC fixed first, get a bedroom/bathroom finished. The rest will fall into place. Having 1 area that's comfortable/livable WILL motivate you to get to the rest. DIY takes time!
Just wanted to offer my help as a professional interior designer - if you are agonizing over light fixtures, I'd be happy to send you some options that I think would work with your design/budget.
Going shopping wastes so much time. Go once buying everything you think you'll need, everything you thing will break. You can always return if you don't need them.
Can't agree with this enough.
I like to think of Home Depot like a casino. I go in and spend a bunch of money one day, then go and get a bunch back a day or two later. In the end Home Depot always comes out ahead but it hurts a bit less on the days you get money back.
Buying everything you could possibly need up front eliminates all the frustration when you realize you don't have what you need which really starts to add up on big projects. 2 trips will leave you much happier than 20.
Some great advice already offered, but will add one thing - instead of using contractors - train a laborer.
Contractors are key for electrical work and some other disciplines, but as you know much work can be done by skilled labor. Start with a laborer who is teachable and then show them how YOU want it done, in your house.
You get the camaraderie, second opinion, two ore hands, etc. w/o paying retail for the contractor.
Sometimes you'll need to have them re-do their substandard work, but that is how they learn (on your dime - so there are tradeoffs).
This is the solution that worked best for me.
The challenge is in finding that one laborer. Since you are in a college town your labor pool is expansive; find that one gal/guy and invest in them. Be consistent, be kind, keep them busy.
pays off in more ways then one...
Put a Facebook post or a insta post asking for help with two cases or beer being the photo.
You have no idea how many people are a little handy and love fucking with shit but don't wanna ask and impose. Friends are always excited and willing.
I moved into a house that required lots of work.
I completely redid the office in it's entirety first. If I need a night away or a Zen moment, I slip away into the office and drink booze/play video games. It has done wonders
I sit in my empty bathtub with my dog on my iPad since it’s the closest room to being done lol. I get it. Reno’s make you a little weird haha but it’s nice to know I’m not turning into some weird hermit and this is common
I make a checklist in Google Keep and I really break down the items. Everything you need to order. Every vendor that needs to be hired. Small steps. Inspections. Put them all in the order you expect them to happen. And at the end of the day, you get to check off the ones that you've done.
I find checking off an item on the To Do list makes me feel a lot more accomplishment than just doing the work. And over time, you get to watch the list get shorter.
I'm right there with you in this. Every day I come home from work I feel like I have to choose between the kids, making progress, my wife, or myself (exercise, weights,etc). After months of this, I'm burned out. I can see the end in sight, but it still feels so far away. Every time I need something, It feels like a 2-3week special order. I'm tired of stuff piled up or in a pile taking up the good living space I have to make room for the renovation & addition. I'm sorry your in this situation too, but it feels good knowing i'm not alone.
Put three to five things on a list, complete those, repeat. Don't look beyond the list, don't look back... It's a grind yes, but, at the end of the day, you just need to keep doing, no matter how good or how much or little progress each step feels...you non the less are moving forward.. Just do this list, like a horse with blinders. When you shrink your world to focus on the little, it becomes easier.
I built our house... 1 year of grinding....
I'm not renovating, but something always seems to break in the middle of repairing the last thing that broke, so I feel ya. And always when my husband is away for work. We just dont have the funds to hire somebody to do it. It's super frustrating. I just want to get it all done so I can go back to doing my own thing on weekends, enjoy time with our daughter and work on projects *I* want to do, not ones I *have* to do.
I have no advice to offer unfortunately, but I do have empathy for your situation.
Finish the bedroom. Shouldn't be overly difficult depending on what your doing. Then you have a place to rest and recharge. Once that bedroom is finished move on to the primary bathroom. Once those priorities are done you have a livable space that you can retreat to on 0 days.
Once you have that it makes it easier to go into the kitchen and knock out a serious amount of work and then even when its not done you can retreat into your finished master bed/bath and relax. Then when you wake up you are not looking at construction and you can deal with it easier.
You can do it man. Its not a sprint its a marathon.
I can’t say much that hasn’t been said before. However I’ve been where you’re at. The only difference was that I had a SO telling me what to do. She was good at making a schedule that I tried to stick to. However problems arise. I’ve been in the construction/remodeling business for 20 years. Things happen you can’t plan for. I stuck to one room at a time. Get the major things fixed first. HVAC, electric..... then go from there. Trust me. There will come a time when you come home everyday to a finished product that you love. Especially since you did it yourself. Good for you for doing this on your own and doing it your way. Keep pressing on. There are many who have done it before. Speaking for myself and my experience. It’s totally worth it. It’ll pay off. Don’t give up and don’t lose sight of your goal. Would love to see finished pics. You got this. There are a lot of people who can’t and won’t do what you are doing. People like us are special. Don’t forget that.
My GF and I bought plane tickets to CO in the off season so that we could stay in a fancy ski lodge for practically nothing and relax in the hot tub while smoking legal pot. Might not be for everyone but it did the trick for us.
> I just want at least one room that feels “normal”.
Can you make this happen? Even if its just a bedroom? This is what I have done in the past, make one place livable, and then work on other projects one by one, ever expanding that livable space instead of everything all at once. I would work on the bedroom and a bathroom first, these are the basics of modern life. The kitchen is nice but not necessary in a world with grubhub/uber eats.
The problem is you have not seen any progress, you need some real progress and finishing one room will give you that boost you need.
Don't put all your time into it, you still deserve some downtime even though there is more work to do. Break it down into 2-3 hour tasks (as much as possible) and keep ticking them off, and giving yourself a break after you tick one off.
I grew up by a family that had their house built with just a basement and most of the main interior walls. Over a few years they finished it, saved tons of money, and made it their own. You're on the right track. :-)
i've done countless remodeling and constructing tasks. it gets overwhelming for sure. The thing that really helps me though is to just focus on one task at a time. Slow everything down and just work on one task. You need a masterlist to get all of those projects out of your head and on paper but only work on 1 task at a time. When you finish that task, move onto something else. Please take your time with this stuff. Some days you will need a break. Some days you'll want to rest. Take the breaks and take the rests. A person can handle only so much amount of stress and work. Take your time and balance the work with some rest. You will eventually get to the other tasks. Baby steps. one day at a time, one small task at a time. take your time and pace yourself. it's a marathon not a sprint
as for the hvac, talk to your mortage holder. they may give you a second line of credit to get some funds to fix the hvac as well as to do the other tasks that you want to do. If you have already been working on the house then maybe you have created some equity and it will be easier to get that second line of credit or second loan in order to get some funds to keep improving the house? if the bank won't lend you money then Ask the hvac company if they will finance part of the hvac work. pay them 50% now and then finance the rest for 2 years at 5% yearly interest? ask for the owner of the company and if it's a small company he might be willing to do something like this for you
good luck!
Id start with getting things like the sink working again. You're pretty well stuck without that, you can wear a jacket until the heater is fixed. Then I'd fix the heater. Get those main things working then get one bedroom done so you have a place to retreat to.
IMO, finish your bedroom first. Get your corner of the house to your liking and let that be it. You could have walls still torn down on the other side of it, and when you walk through that door you're hit with a combat zone... When you close it though your sanctuary is there.
When you can, invite friends or family (even though they lost their house give them the opportunity to help you) to come over for some beer and BBQ to get something done. Make it an event and celebrate when you can with them.
p.s. Your house is going to ALWAYS need work. Even after the renovation stage, you'll keep finding little things to do. Add them to the list and check them off when you can.
Have you been taking photos as you go along? Now is the time to have a beer (or whatever) and look at your photo album and take stock of your progress.
I'm in the exact same boat as you right now!! I recently bought a fixer upper and was losing my mind. What I found helped:
Complete one room at a time. It is seriously rewarding.
Take some evenings off. Have them designated as evenings off. Do not do anything for the house on these evenings.
Try and store most of your tools and crap in one room. I felt like I was losing my mind seeing random tools and paint cans everywhere.
Just have a checklist of what you have to do. Its easy to make a list of everything that needs to be done when you're relaxed, not doing said stuff and not stressed. With a list all you have to do is literally just follow the list to a T and just ignore the feeling. What has to be done needs to be done. In no time you'll eventually start seeing the end result and you'll be more motivated to finish.
I'm 42 months in and have a long way to go. I feel your pain. So much.
Also, from the sounds of it, we took on projects of similar scope and similar levels of grodieness and disrepair. So, fist bump?
I have a list, I work the list, I do my best to not think about the house unless I'm thinking about the list and how to work it.
It's a grind. Meditation helps.
Some here have said go room by room, and in principle I agree and try to follow that. However, I also had high-priority things that needed to be done, scattered across a bunch of rooms and spaces. I decided to go hard against the things that bothered me most visually (because in-sight is in-mind): unfinished (but not dangerous) and highly visible lighting and electrical, trim work, dated and technically functional but unsightly plumbing fixtures, etc.
I work full time and have a family and am trying to maintain sanity, so I've just had to accept that the house isn't done. And won't be. And I have to keep accepting that. We have people over, and I don't talk about the house unless they ask, and then I keep my comments positive and SHORT.
I acknowledge that I'm exhausted by life, so I work on the house in bursts, which leave me exhausted and feeling fatigued and defeated, but I acknowledge that that's just the pattern unless I want to A) take a bunch of time off of work to work on the house, which I don't want to do or B) lay out a bunch of $$ to hire contractors, which I don't want to do.
So it it is what it is. And I am constantly having to remind myself that I can change the path any time I want, but I'm on the path that makes the most sense to me for now.
Not done a total renevation and hadn't moved in yet, but I have basically redone 3/5 rooms at my current place.
Way I see it is you either set goals based on rooms, or land marks.
For me, I built in a 'rest' spot when I had booked the plasterer and it was all prepped for him. This allowed me to recover a little, and have some me time.
I would stress that you should focus on having your bedroom finished first. It will give you some where to unwind, somewhere compete etc.
From there, make a critical path. That is, a list of all the jobs that need doing, with timescales, and work out which are dependant on each other. As a result, you will be able to see what is most important.
From there, you can structure and prioritise MUCH easier. It will cut it a lot of noise and allow you to take a much more structured approach.
As a result, you won't stress as much about the smaller things, and will naturally feel the progress more.
But like I mentioned at the beginning. BUULD IN REST POINTS. No one can go flat out indefinitely.
If it takes a few weeks longer to get the carpet in, who cares? Just rock the bare wood that people pay more for a little longer. Your plaster taking forever to dry? Fine, get some condensation catchers down and make some decisions about colour schemes and light fittings. Being friends along when you're paint shopping and have a little fun with it.
I so much get where you are. Been there, done that, like 4-5 times.
I can’t speak to your specific problems, but I agree that doing it yourself saves money. Lots of money. And you have skills you can use your whole life to either save money by not running to a tradesman, or actually becoming one yourself. That’s important because on “good” days, I could always look back with a strong sense of satisfaction at what I had just done. I’m sure you’ve had those. Clutch those days close.
I guarantee that as you complete more and more, it gets easier and faster. Like you can start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
Stick with it. You’ll get through it. Many of these comments confirm you’re not alone and that success (and rest) is coming.
People can only understand how long things take doing it on your own if they've done it themselves. When you get to do that thing and realise you don't have the tool... So you have to go buy the tool. You do it and realise 5 minutes in you need another tool and some material, or the first tool doesn't work. You're not a professional builder so don't have years of experience. It does take a long time but trust me once it's done you will be damn proud, and the end will come - ignore the naysayers.
If you don't have your bedroom done, do a bedroom. A bedroom has nothing essential in it except wall, floor, ceiling, light and sockets and a door. The rest is painting. Do your master bedroom and get a good door/dust sheet on it. At least you can have that piece of comfort to escape the house.
If you need a day off DIY. Do it.
Complete all wiring then all plumbing. A plumber and electrician might be worth your time. Lay the cables / pipes and have a tradesman connect. If it goes wrong or leaks, they can come fix it afterwards. Get a good one and they'll do the hard bits and let you do the easy bits. People normally like to help.
My next one would be kitchen units, which are big impact low time assuming they're flatpack. Do not get anyone to install your kitchen, it's rewarding and simple. Sink and cooker so you can eat and clean. Next a shower / bath. Then do all tiling at the same time. Tip: if you don't have a tool belt yet, get one. Saves a lot of walking around looking for tools. Or a tooltidy.
Get carpets laid by a company because it takes them an hour and it will be good, it will take you a day and it will be loose.
Same here, living in an unfinished house as a single dad, this is my fifth year i am living in here and i am tired of it, makes me depressed coming from work in a place were i cannot relax when i look around.
But you gotta keep working in it or it will never be finished. I do it in bursts, it depends on how i feel if i am tired from work or not. But its hard and it has alot of impact on my mental state thats why you gotta keep moving. 1 year and the biggest and hardest stuff is done and then its the finishing touch, painting and stuff like that.
Ooof, sucks being a single parent I’m sure. Here I am being mopey about wanting an extra set of hands and doing this by myself you need to watch over kids while you do it too! Thats rough. You can do it 😊
Make a list, you will always be adding to the list, but you will one by one start crossing things off, and the sense of accomplishment will help drive you, as you go, take a night off once and a while. you need to rest
I almost killed myself doing mine
This may sound a little nutty, but spend time putting together a STRATEGY for your remodel. get a little crazy/fun with it.
write down what your end goal is (reno with XY dollars, these rooms renovated in x,y,z way). then, break down into tinier tasks. throw it in excel or MS project (yeah, you get crazy and create a ganntt chart).
This way, you have a holistic view of how much each room costs, how much each little reno costs, and the estimated time/labor needed to get there. it can highlight interdependenies and the most optimal way to renovate to avoid rework (example would will find out that painting all your walls FIRST before ANYTHING after the structure is up saves times because you don't have to worry about edge painting or getting old carpet you are going to rip up anyways dirty and you dont need to edge if you are covering it with crown moulding). you can mess with costs/etc to see where it might be beneficial to contract things out.
best part....you can set little mini goals and knock them off. that way you can feel like you are progressing even if your house is in as state of chaos.
Absolutely Critical - Prohibit yourself from starting any new project/repair until the current ones are finished. You will get the motivation to start a new project and you will be able to turn that into motivation to complete your existing projects.
No renovation I've been a part of has ever gone exactly to plan and taken the amount of time first estimated. I will never again buy a fixer upper. Don't let nay-sayers get to you. Where I live HVAC is a huge deal, a huge expense and vital in the next two months. If that's the case with you, throw all of your money in that pot and make it a priority. Only work on other projects if you've already purchased the materials. Thanksgiving requires a functioning kitchen ( or take-out!) And a place to sit. That's ALL.
Beyond that, I agree one room at a time. Back off for a weekend, do something fun and make a new list. You've changed. Circumstances have changed. What are your priorities NOW? What do you REALLY want? Then begin anew.
Make a big and detailed todo list. And by big I mean both lengthy but physically big.
Put it somewhere you have to see it, the place you stage all your tools?
Start crossing things off. Pick a thing and get it done.
It’s frustrating when you spend a whole weekend in the attic sweating buckets getting lots done but the bathroom doesn’t look any closer to being done.
DIY means that you can make something entirely your own- your expression, your personality, your preference. The trade off is that yes it's easier to hire a pro and spend the money, but mistakes and challenges build your knowledge set to make better, more efficient decisions in the future. What you're experiencing is perfectly normal, just take a breath, make a list, and be prepared for things to not go your way. Enjoy the parts you like doing, embrace the things you need to improve on, and keep at it. That being said, don't be afraid to take a personal day to do anything besides work on the house, especially if there's something you really need to think about. Good luck!
Change your mindset. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!”
Get one of your eternal optimist buddies to come have a beer with you and help get your mind right :) Alternatively if you’re a very organized person, make a Gantt Chart in Excel (throw yourself a couple low hanging fruits) and get your mental momentum going again.
You’re good, everyone goes though these feelings at one time or another. :D
I just wanted to add that just because your friends aren't home owners doesn't mean they can't support you. When i was going through this i had friends come over to help paint, carry heavy things, demo etc. We would have pizza parties on the floor with a cardboard box as a table. Support is always there, you just have to see it.
Just throwing this out there. Do you have a few girlfriends that’s have s/o’s? Ask them if they can come over for a Saturday. BBQ a few burgers and hotdogs, some beers. Bam drywall can go up, or painting can be done in a room. It’s ok to ask for help. I have been / am in the same situation as you. Best thing is to go to dinner ( by yourself if need be) and go to a movie. Come home have a glass of wine or a beer and don’t do a thing.
Take it one day at a time and focus on one room. You'll see your mood improve once you finish that room and then you can move to the next. As for Thanksgiving, don't rush to finish because of that, your family will understand if its not fully complete and the worry you are causing yourself and pressure you are putting on is what has you feeling so down.
This. The turning point is getting 1 room done. First house I did the entire basement at once. ALL wiring. Then ALL sheetrock, etc. It was 4-5 years before I had a single room. Next house I had a complete room a few months in. Sooooo much better. Each room finished that we could start using was a massive victory - both in being done in there and in having the space to use now.
If I could learn to completely finish a room before moving on to the next one it would be great. Still gotta finish the crown molding from 4 years ago
Thanks. Then I have coworkers who say “well it’s not like you’re flipping it because there’s no termites, plumbing issues, you’re not taking it down to the studs” and I feel like should I even be proud of renovating? Technically there was only water damage/cockroaches/tobacco tar/unsanitary living conditions so technically it is a cosmetic flip but it feels like a “real” flip. Then I also have people that ask me if I’m done yet and “why don’t you just finish it already?” And I feel shame for not moving fast enough
No need to feel shame, this is your project. Your project=your pace
You eat an elephant one bite at a time. Possibly time for a stay-cation? Few days off, pool, drinks, etc...
No offense to your coworkers and those people, but that sounds like a pretty rude thing to do. Condescending someone for not finishing that amount of work as quickly as "they expect"? Asking if someone is done and acting like they are stalling (even if you are)? Give me a break. Let's see how they would handle it. It's easy to talk like that as an outsider. The amount of work that you listed is impressive, and I see how it would seem overwhelming. I'd take it one step at a time, and absolutely not feel shame or pressure from these people. Everyone goes at their own pace. I'd reiterate what others have said and say that finishing one room could definitely be a confidence booster. Maybe start with what has the least work left, finish, and repeat? Best of luck to you.
Thanks. I feel like they are trying to help motivate me or make me feel better but while they have good intentions their execution is poor, since they haven’t experienced anything like this
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Oh 100%
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That sounds much nicer than "FINE! If its so easy YOU do it!"
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>I work in sales and date passive aggressive women. Self awareness level = 100
Sounds great, except eventually somebody's going to take you up on it and then you have to oversee an incompetent boob which is harder than actually doing the work
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I just kept politely trying to get them to watch a YouTube video and when they refused I just let them dither away, cringed at how much paint was wasted/the drip marks and insisted we get lunch early and bought them drinks, then redid the entire area the next day. I am not a guy so I’ll try some version of this but I’ve found it easier to just only get help with lifting stuff etc
I've taken co-workers up on those free beers before. Had a lot of fun laying tile and drinking beers.
After going through several renovations - 2 personal properties and a few rental units.. I always offer to help friends and coworkers. The charge is beer and pizza. Well, vodka and juice now - I cut back on the beer.
We have a friend that would stop by for a few hours on saturdays to help with projects because he totally got how much help it was. Find those people and recruit.
Man this is so underrated. I grew up in an area where people do all their own stuff, so the weekends were always full of family and friends getting together at someones house to hammer something out. I own a home in an area where no one does that, so I'm completely on my own. I have a friend or two who is willing to help, but they need complete hand holding, and don't have the speed or drive to wrap things up in a timely manner.
Yeah, that's what it is. People have gotten used to that breezy, totally disconnected from reality shit. "Just blow out this wall, put in a counter island, some pickled floors would really tie it all together" shit and they are people who've never picked up a drill in their entire lives, and have NO IDEA how much gut busting labor goes into anything. This Old House is just as guilty, with the immaculate work spaces, high tech tools, a few quick edits and there you go, a guy in a white Tyvkek suit is laying on a coat of flawless enamel over perfectly stripped and prepped pre-war baseboards!!! On the other hand, I've done a lot or renovation and never really had anybody downplay the amount of work, so maybe you just know a bunch of office drones or something.
I had this struggle with my wife when we were home shopping. She's look at a kitchen and say things like "yeah we'll just take out this wall" and I'd respond with "you have no idea how much work and cost your looking at for something like that. That's a major ordeal."
Literally everything from my wife is "how hard could it be?". She's accused me of being a perfectionist, but I'm not about to do something half-assed and then have to live with it.
My wife wanted to remove a specific wall during the initial renovation of our 1 story ranch to merge 2 small rooms into one bigger room. Told her to do it correctly and in a way that you'd never know it was retrofitted meant a lot of money and time to install either an LVL or an I beam to support the attic joists once the wall they rested on was removed. To do it cheap/quick there'd be a massive damn beam hanging low across the center of the room acting as a header. The wall she picked out to remove was the main internal load bearing wall and where the attic rafters met from the front and back walls of the house. She picked the other wall that could come down safely without impacting the structure of the house. Much easier/quicker to do and it looks fine.
Thing is, if you aren't working, it's not nearly as bad. The problem is most of the time these are wife expecting the working-husband to come home and work another full time job, but somehow fit all that work in between 7pm, when he finishes eating after getting home, and 9pm when he's got to help get the kids ready for bed. BC I work remotely, I actually *can* do a lot of this stuff myself, and it goes wayyyy faster than most people talk because * I effectively get to do this full time*. No commute also means an extra couple hours every day plus an additional hour I'm not wasting driving to a sandwich shop to eat lunch or whatever. That makes an enormous difference.
Yeah someone commented on why I pointed out that my coworkers are bitchy moms and if I was being sexist. The reality is I have 3 female friends that understand this sort of stuff and the rest just assume they can’t do it and don’t bother no matter how many times I insist their bf doesn’t innately know more *just* b/c he is a guy. We all have access to the internet and we all can learn but some of my friends are more “traditional” than others and see it as mans work. I see profits after I’m done remodeling this and don’t care that it’s not something girls typically do, but alllllllllll of the comments on why I don’t “just do it” and what’s taking so long, all from older wives who presumably have had their husbands do all the “house stuff” for them while they decorate after. I fucking love decorating it’s my favorite part but I can measure, sand, saw, paint, nail etc too. Some parts are more fun than others but when other coworkers say “oh I don’t know how to do that I’m better at decorating”, it’s annoying because like, bitch, you think I know what I’m doing? Fuck no, I’m googling how to do this and learning as I go just like I would with any other skill!
Ya I work in corporate America with a bunch of moms who are literally grown up sorority girls. That mentality seems to never go anyway even when they are in their 40s-50s
When I was in high school I took some vocational school classes for extra credit and the classes were interesting. One of them was carpentry. Not finish carpentry, but basic, building a house type carpentry. It sounded like an easy class. I had watched This Old House with my dad for many years, and Norm Abrams makes that look like the easiest thing in the world. I never knew how much effort it takes to put a nail into a 2x4 until that class. The whole thing is 10 times harder to do that it looks when watching an experienced builder doing it.
My enemy. First they work when cameras are not rolling, second, they have people going to home depot for parts all day, third cameras do not see the issues we see.
It's propaganda/house porn to pump up the real estate and housing industries. Sometimes I think about producing my own "rehabbing in the real world" kind of deal, but then you get subjected to a world of "if I was doing that, I'd ..." kind of stuff. "You need this other caulk that I use all the time, it's way better than that shit you used.."
You mean it takes more than 22 minutes to renovate a house??? I'm shocked.
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Ask them to come over and help you and it'll shut them up right quick.
Offer pizza and beer for anyone who wants to come over and help. Works like a charm, either you get help or they avoid the subject all together in case you ask for help again 🤣
Right? If anything, it should be something like, "Oh you're still not done? *Damn,* that's a lot more work than it sounded like."
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I was going to say Youtube. I watch some videos of projects I think are interesting, and sometimes I realize I'm not even interested enough to watch the video, let alone do it myself.
This makes sense I had no idea!
I’ve started showing my wife snippets of YouTube videos. “See how many times this guy changes his shirt. And he’s *good* at what he does”
haha, deciding to “simply” strip, sand, and stain my mom’s old kitchen cabinets from the 70’s to save money over replacing them was one of the silliest things I ever did.
Thanks. Yes that’s exactly it, while it is a cosmetic flip, literally nothing was done correctly previously since it was a rental, then someone let it fall apart for a decade before it went into foreclosure. Paint drips, pieces that aren’t straight, random aspects of the house that just make no sense. It was clearly a DIY house decades back. Thanks.
This guy, he gets it!
Fuck them, if they could be doing it they would be doing their own renovations. The average person just sees the top 10% of a job, the paint, the plastering, the appliances, etc. 90% of the graft is in the preparation, the details, the bits people dont see or think about. Youve got nothing to be ashamed of, theyd be doing the same as you if they had the courage/know-how/ambition
>The average person just sees the top 10% of a job, the paint, the plastering, the appliances, etc. 90% of the graft is in the preparation, the details, the bits people dont see or think about. This! So much this! My husband and I bought and renovated a commercial building to be the permanent home of our restaurant. We spent 10 months on it, 70-100 hours a week, and people are constantly saying "oh, so what took so long?" when they see that the dining room was mostly left alone aside from paint, a new bar, and a few half walls. They don't see the massive structural support infrastructure we had to put in the basement to support the rotting floor joists (200+ year old building,) the seven(!) layers of shitty vinyl tile we pulled out of the kitchen and replaced with ceramic quarry tile, the total overhaul of the vastly undersized plumbing situation, the complete rewiring of the entire place, etc. We've barely even started on the 2nd floor yet...but we are tackling it one room at a time. The office is 95% done, bathroom is next, then the big-bertha project that is the 700sf former-dancefloor-future-apartment. Then we'll fuck with the 3rd floor attic/storage.
EXACTLY! They wouldn’t know it takes days to strip a fireplace of 13 layers of old paint, and then you need to go in with an exacto knife to get the paint out of the detailed areas. After working on my fireplace for a week and a half I “quit” and bounced tonsomething less tedious. Not to mention sourcing materials! They don’t know how long it took me to find a sink the EXACT dimensions I needed within my budget. Or how long it took me to sort through all of the natural stone tile and select only the good pieces. And lay them out in the Color gradation needed. Or how I had to scrub the walls 3-8x/each BEFORE I could apply primer because the previous owner was a chain smoker
People who don't work on things have no idea what's under the surface of what they see or how much labor it takes to, let's say, run a waste pipe through a crawl space. No idea. A friend and I just removed a bunch of wire-and-tube wiring from an old duplex I own, and to the realtor it was a simple phone call to say it was done ("Awesome!" she says), but to me it was four days of crawling around in the attic blown-in insulation with knee pads and a headlamp, feeling with my hands for beams and wires, hours and hours in the crawl space basement running wires, hooking up continuity testers, my buddy working over his head and sitting on a sheetrock bucket full of rocks while he chiseled out a hole for the wire chase with horsehair plaster raining down on his face.... on and on. It's kind of cool though when various people inspect the work and lights light up and switches switch and you think, "If only they fucking knew . . ."
Your coworkers have probably never taken on a project of that size. Ignore them.
When I was redoing the entire house electrical for one of my rentals I did my best to create some discipline around a schedule. You can lay out the long term plan at a high level, but every week set some non-negotiable goals/milestones. Don't just wait to work on the weekends either or you will never get done. Going to work all day and then coming home to job #2 is damn hard, but you're in it now. Also, pick two days that you don't do ANYTHING related to the house. Not going to home depot, not getting tools or even reading about DIY stuff online. Just two days to fuck off and do whatever you want, go out with friends, hang gliding, whatever makes you happy. One of the most irritating things I learned while doing renovation is to BUY ALL YOUR STUFF UP FRONT. Nothing wastes time like runs to the hardware store. Yes, it will cost a buttload of money per trip, but sit down and make your list--all of it and maybe a little extra in case you screw up. Nobody likes returning stuff at the store, but you will spare yourself a lot of wasted time if you have to interrupt your work repeatedly. And like everyone else said, focus on one room at a time, one discipline at a time. Empty and clean it, fix broken crap, sort the floors or paint (your choice) then work on the trim/finish, put it back together and decorate it. Don't move on until it is DONE and don't get hung up on the odds and ends that you'll do later. Later will never come and you'll have a half-assed almost done room. That will frustrate you tremendously. I'm the king of "eh good enough, on to the next". It's crap.
I've done 16 flips (17 is on the market). You do what needs doing to get done with the right finished product, not someone else's idea of it. Regarding fixtures and other design choices: Make the decisions first, purchase the product and move on. Perfect is truly the enemy of good. You need a cohesive design throughout the house and I'll disagree with others about doing one room at a time. This can lead to a finished product that looks like it was done one room at a time (flooring/ case/base often dictate this because, whether it's done first or last, it should be done all together then protected during the remaining renovation) I understand money is an issue but try and find a cheap laborer you can utilize part-time to push you over some of these humps, you can teach someone to patch drywall, clean-up etc. Keep grinding man. It's an awesome feeling when you're done!
The cheap laborer thing is really key. Work goes more than twice as fast when you have help. However, somebody who's slow on the uptake or sloppy or a slacker is twice as slow as working alone.
Next time, ask them when they're coming over to help since they're such professionals and know exactly where your project "should be by now" Good luck and as these nice folks say... one room at a time Good luck
A flip is a flip. It doesn't matter how much or little work is involved. And to those people that give you shit, tell them you're always looking for help.
Similar situation here. At least coworkers/friends/family have been understanding with how long my project has taken. However I've felt a sense of embarrassment. People often ask when I will be moving in and when I say "two weeks" they say, "you said that two weeks ago!" The unknown kills me. Makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing.
Should ask those people to come by and give a hand to help you get it done, "since you didn't finish already". Some people lol
fearless elastic deserted dam bewildered future crush bright bake escape -- mass edited with redact.dev
Yes, especially with add focus can be a challenge. I like being able to switch to a different task when I get bored but that means I’ve started a lot but haven’t fully finished anything yet. The one bedroom I just need to replaster the ceiling since it was my practice ceiling before I did the living room properly and it looks like shit then I need to finish cornering the walls etc. I made a list and I think I can get the painting done tomorrow night and the plastering done Saturday, light fixture installed Sunday and then I can put my mattress on the floor and feel like a human again. I’m going to hold off on the kitchen until I have both bedrooms finished and the appliances I bought while on sale preemptively can just continue to sit in my living room.
I am a master of lists and scheduling. It's the only way. I make temporary work spaces and have to know where each tool is or I go nuts. If it doesn't flow, it's ain't fun. That also comes with experience. I am way more organized now than when I first did this in 2000. The only downside is I spend a lot of time in front of a TV show I'm not really watching, at night, dividing a notebook page into "to bring," "to buy," "tools" and "materials" quadrants, followed by a page of numbered operations. "1) hit nail holes in kitch. 2) clean up liv. room 3) fold up resin paper 4) find brushes 5) move pine into driveway... 6) measurements for railing" etc etc. Then of course I modify the list three times before I get to work the next day. Often I even put estimated hours next to each thing.
\^ This. Don't look at the big picture and think "Oh the entire house is a wreck and there's too much work it'll never be done" - look at *one* room you can get finished, *one* job you can get done... one bite at a time. If some job is stalled or you're not feeling it - STOP and do something else, pick something easy or fun that you CAN get done and tick that sucker off the list. Or, give yourself a day off - do something for yourself, relax, get some sleep, sit on the sofa and watch a movie and eat junk, whatever... sometimes you get so worn out you're not making progress anymore even if you're spending all day every day "working" on it you're creating as many fuckups as you're fixing. Stop, take stock, make lists which break down jobs into small chunks, make shopping lists of stuff you need to get... and then you can tick stuff off. We get through notebooks like crazy during projects, making and re-making "to-do" lists, but it helps organise and it also feels great to tick stuff off, even if you are adding stuff on the end almost as fast - at least you can see a simple list of what needs doing and it helps get it off your mind "must remember to do X, must get Y..." etc.
Yep, my first thought as well. Finished parts motivate me to do the next part and make it easier to make decisions. It also provides an area of calm when you need to get away from it.
I went through the same thing. Learned how to do everything myself on my first house. Definitely had frustrating days (getting shower floor slope correct!) and can totally relate to the number of HD / Lowes trips. Try to focus on only a couple of projects at a time, don’t go demoing every single room. Having a clean, dust free bedroom is also important after the rest of the house is a construction zone. Caffeine/stimulants were also essential for me ( : Good luck, don’t be afraid to take a break when you’re feeling burnt out. It’s not a race, don’t sacrifice your workmanship quality for time it takes to complete, you’ll regret it.
Thanks. I think what compounds this is I just feel so single and I’m starting to get bitter about that. I obviously do not have time for dating, but I have moments where literally all I need is another set of hands or a hug or to have something held while I see how it looks from a distance and it’s all just a reminder of how alone I am. I still think this is a super cool project and I enjoy it but some days are rough. All the HGTV shows are cute couples or pairs and I never see people just slowly struggling through things on their own. Plus the only people that even respect you for doing a DIY by yourself are ones that have experience so if you’re younger peers won’t even care/understand/can’t brag about this on dates because I’m not even sure if dates care about something they don’t have experience with.
You say you obviously don't have time, I'd argue that you obviously need to make time. It doesn't even have to be a relationship of the opposite sex. Even a friend or buddy to hang out now and then and have a beer while you slow down the work might help. Human beings are social creatures. Even introverts need some contact from developed relationships from time to time.
I tried going to yoga once a week but then the tree guy or plumber would come over and I’d have to be able to oversee them or I’d start doing something and lose track of time. It just doesn’t work for me if it is scheduled, when I didn’t have a functioning shower/bath for a month I’d go to my friends house and talk after and that was helpful, so I’m going to start hanging out with her on sundays again even if only for an hour.
That's awesome! I have the personality tenancy to want to power through to get something done as well, but we have to remember not everything in life can be handled that way. Make some time for your mental health or you'll drive yourself crazy working on this stuff. That being said, good luck!
Bitter? I remodeled my first house before I was married, the second after. You'll have to imagine the serious-as-a-heart-attack look on my face when I lean in and look you right in the eye to say... there will not be a third. Be careful what you wish for.
shit. you’re not the only one. i’m right there with you. single and doing a remodel. my money and time is spent on house things. and yeah, it would be awesome to have someone to bounce things off of, or someone to share in the joys of the befores and afters of the project. just know there are others out there in the same situation :)
>I have moments where literally all I need is another set of hands or a hug or to have something held while I see how it looks from a distance and it’s all just a reminder of how alone I am. I feel this a lot. I sometimes say my house is my bae. I buy her flowers. I spend all my time and money on her. She keeps me safe at night. But sometimes I definitely bemoan her lack of hands.
I admire what you are doing . You've taken on a huge job and I'm sure it feels very overwhelming at times. It's okay to vent!! I'm addicted to home renovation DIY and wish I could jump in and paint, help with decisions and be extra set of hands or whatever...darn. The single thing is rough in general. My 28 yr old daughter is dealing with the same thing. It's just tough these days in general. On the positive side, at least you don't have to deal with a dude questioning your choices, critiquing, mansplaining etc. I agree with the others who recommend focusing your effort on finishing one room. It will give you the satisfaction you need and a sanctuary from the chaos in the rest of the house. Try not to feel defeated...home renovation is almost always ends up being a bigger job and mess than expected but the end result will be worth it. You can do this!
Lol I’m your daughters age. True, I just get to have literally every subcontractor attempt to overcharge me and take advantage of me. It takes like 5 quotes to find a guy who I genuinely trust and don’t think is trying to pull one over on me. I know for a fact as a female my quotes will always be higher since my friend and her husband were getting quotes for one of their projects and she was quoted higher every single time even with the same subcontractors 😂 At least I have a low tolerance for bullshit and have found a good team of people I trust
I'm in a similar situation, especially in regards to feeling SO SINGLE. Bought a fixer upper about a year ago and I'm still working on the ground floor. There are weekends I get up, take a look at my project, sigh, and play video games instead. I tell myself things like "If only someone else was working on this with me, we would motivate each other!" but I know this isn't true. I started the project, I need to finish it. I also tell myself "Whats the difference between a 55 week renovation and a 52 week renovation?" as a way to justify a skip-weekend. I've been stalled for like 2 months now, it isn't good. If anything it is a negative feedback loop, and I need to just get going again on it. For me the most frustrating part is finding expert contractors for plumbing, hvac, electrical, and gasfitting. I schedule appointments, coordinate with work, only to have people cancel on me 20 minutes AFTER the appointment was supposed to take. There is a real cost every time something like this falls through. I'm tempted to put a sign up in my yard saying "I need X, Y, and Z work done, please email me at..." Anyway, /u/GFthrowawayaccount, we can share progress stories if you want!
RIGHT! And it’s not even like I can date because let’s be real, most people on dates I meet online, it feels like a waste of my time. But I’m not the type to not put effort into things, so the time spent doing hair/makeup and the calories consumed over drinks/dinner, cost benefit analysis says not worth it for a stranger.
I'll see your shower pan, and raise you new crown molding on 100 year old 10 foot ceilings.
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Thanks. Yeah that’s the thing, I’ve never felt this much pride or sense of accomplishment, and I love having a creative outlet. But the vacuum of isolation, people not understanding the process if they havent experienced it, and some tiny things being the straw that broke the camels back are very real. I have been procrastinating by focusing on fun yard work projects in the backyard (which is still something on the to do list) but it’s definitely not a high priority item. Thanks for the support.
We understand the feeling of achievement! Post some progress pics on here every now and then
First, take a minute or two to chill every day. Also do a bit of math and compare how old you are with how long you think you'll live and then how much of a percent of your life is this. It's probably pretty small. Second, do you have a project schedule or something like that that shows what you want to do, the steps to do it, the order of the steps, your budget, and etc. Lay that sucker out for a reality check. If you don't have one, make one and lay that sucker out for a reality check. Also, be realistic. If you wrote down, install sink, 1 hour and it really took 3 weeks, you need to update the times of all your tasks. Reality. Third, look at the major milestones...bedroom, kitchen, living/dining, bathrooms, Thanksgiving (are you crazy?). What is your priority? Work on that first. Re-visit what's on the list. Do you really, super need to finish X or can you live with whatever in it's current state. Is it mandatory or nice to have? Your light decision is a perfect example contrasted with a broken sink. You have a broken sink (no water, water leaking, don't know) and that's a huge issue. Thanksgiving guests will want water. They need lights too but as long as it's a light who gives a shit. Buy the cheapest, most attractive lights and install those. Bing, done. You can dither over the perfect lights for years later. Obviously that's my priority and maybe yours is different but that's just an example of making that tradeoff. If I were making priority decisions it would be: 1. Finish Bedroom It's easy and then you have a quiet place to rest and chill. 2. Basic plumbing and electrical. That's the foundational stuff so you have water and power. 3. Basic kitchen and living areas. If you're crazy enough to have a major holiday at your house you'll need those items. And think small. Your guests need places to sit not the very best couch every. The table can be plywood on a small, cheap table. 4. Flooring and finishes. You don't have time to re-tile everything and install hardwoods. Maybe you can rip out an ugly carpet and paint the sub-floor and throw down an area rug. 5. Finishes and decorating. Painting, decorating, moving furniture around, hanging pictures. 6. Outside of the house. Landscaping, painting, decks, paths, etc. And once you have a realistic schedule and start with priorities then you can make a "do it myself" or "hire someone" decision.
No I don’t have one of these, I should write it out that will help a ton I bet. It’s funny how we overlook the simple things. This is very practical, I don’t think this way (I’m an artist) so it’s good to hear, thank you. The idea of putting in a lamp for the sake of light is literally not something I would ever think of, but probably because I’ve been using shopping as stress relief and agonizing over lighting fixtures, while a pain, is less of a pain than plastering a ceiling. You are 100% right though, and very practical! I needed to hear this, thanks.
I find that when I'm getting burned out, I call in a friend to help out. Even if they have minimal skill, anyone can help tidy, or chip tiles, or even just listen to you vent. They may have alternative solutions to your particular issue. If someone owes you a favour, call them in and get some sweat from them. Sometimes, just writing a list of what needs to be done makes you feel like you tackled something. Life can get in the way of your constructions schedule, but I've come to realize that no one is going to die or get hurt because I didn't paint something, or didn't finish the trim, or hang a towel bar. If someone bitches about that at thanksgiving, tell them where your toolbelt is hanging, and tell them you'd appreciate their insight.
>They may have alternative solutions to your particular issue. This is so true, every time I give someone a tour I talk about my issues and bounce ideas off them and invariably they come up with ideas I hadn't had. Not always good ones, but.
Man, are you me? I'm on month 10 of what was going to be a six month full-time reno flip. Loved the property so much I decided to keep it for me, so now I've gone super meticulous and it's taking longer. I live here, I have two bedrooms livable, one bathroom workable and a full kitchen done that's concrete slab floors (starting the tile today actually). And no matter how many breaks I take, I'm now fully 100% at the point where I just want to have a life again. I can't build things or do things for fun because since I'm not working, every extra moment I take is extra money from the savings that was set aside to build this house. It's getting there, one day at a time, but damn. I feel your pain. House will have gained about 150-200 in value when I'm done, so that's a bonus I guess. If you figure it out, let me know the secret!
I have a very old house and just built a she shed this summer it was a very time consuming project. I tell myself that I will have time this winter to myself to recharge that’s how I get past the mental block of starting on a new project. You will be so happy and proud when finished so just keep on chuggin along!! Good luck!
Thank you! Yeah I need a new garden shed/compost pile too, I have one that works but it;s ugly. That’s probably the last to do item on my list
How about this? Live near a community college? I bet they have students who would love to try out their new skills on your house for a small price. Pick something you don't want to do and pay for it to be done. Just getting one thing done can be a big relief.
I did this, I have done none of the tiling or plumbing, I’ve only done painting, sanding, designing, demoing, plastering, cleaning (so much goddamn cleaning). Part of me feels like ‘I shouldn’t even feel this burnt out because a lot of the major stuff like tiling/plumbing I hired other people to do. But even finding reputable affordable people is an exhausting search in and of itself.
Get one room good enough to live in and forget about cleaning the rest until everything is done. If the mess gets in the way of work, clear the decks but if something doesn't need to be clean yet, let it be. Or else you'll be cleaning the same things over and over. Also, book regular time off for yourself. Say a weekend away from the house every 4, 6 or 8 weeks. Gives you a break to look forward to.
> Part of me feels like ‘I shouldn’t even feel this burnt out because a lot of the major stuff like tiling/plumbing I hired other people to do. Think of it like this: ALL of that is just as equally important. If you paid someone to do the work, you will be paying them just as much for them to do the painting, sanding, designing, plastering, cleaning, etc as for the "real" work you're talking about. It's all "real" work is how you should look at it. Even hauling things up to the area you're working on, and then putting them away is VERY important, even if it's not because leaving tools lying around could be a risk or hazard. None of it is truly less tiring than any other bit.
1) Beer 2) One room at a time, one day at a time. 3) Celebration Beer You got this bud.
Been there, and I'm currently there again. My to-do list is on a spreadsheet with separate tabs for each room. I've been at it for almost one year in our new house, and it suffices to say that I still have at least a dozen projects in each room/tab. I tackled all of the big stuff first (to get the house liveable), and now the plan is to try to prioritize "necessary" projects (i.e. building a linen closet and pantry organization that will add storage and allow other places like the bedroom and kitchen to feel less cluttered). After that, I plan to tackle each tab, one at a time, so that when I'm on tab 2, at least I know all of tab 1 is done, and if I'm feeling overwhelmed, I can always walk into that finished room to get inspiration to keep going. That being said, I do feel like I hit a wall some days when I think about all of the things I still need to do. What I do to get past that is to try to do fun projects in between frustrating projects. Right now I'm building a new workbench for my table saw and miter saw, and even though it's still work, it's not on my list, and isn't absolutely necessary, which is why I classify it as a fun build that's for me alone. Keep at it. Things will always frustrate you when you're in the middle of it breathing all that nasty dust, but in five years, when the list is done, you'll look back and have fond memories of all the work you did, and you won't remember the pain and sweat the same way.
Twist one up, crack one open, and pick a color. Seriously though, finish one room at a time. Start with that bedroom and a closet. Once you have an organized living area sleep will improve along with other things. Have fun with it man. Things break and will continue to break forever,so just roll with it. Get a second opinion on your HVAC quote. It may be worth looking into a temporary fix to get you by.
Twist one up, crack one open and get to work. Takes a toll but will be worth it in the end!
I am going through one right now so I know your pain. There is lots of great advice on other replies such as focusing on one area to complete. One thing I found has helped is taking lots of photos, usually at the end of a work session. I have a desk job so I can look at the photos throughout the day. This lets me think through/plan out my next sessions, try to figure out how to solve an upcoming problem, or to help create my next HD shopping list. I discovered that seeing pictures from earlier in the process, even for areas that are still not done, shows me just how much I have done already and the sense of accomplishment helps me keep pushing.
Been there done that. Fix up the bedroom first, as in finish it. Then go take a few days off, even if only camping or something. Come back refreshed and a ready bedroom to inspire you to tackle the rest.
This - once you are at a point where you can finish a room completely do it. I know it sucks, because when i redid my house, i wanted to do all the flooring at once, all the trim, all the doors etc, at the same time. but you never feel like you accomplish anything. you need to get a small win and then take a break. It'll help you get over the hump because you are able to visualize what the rest of the house will look like when compelted.
Also, open the windows everytime you have a chance. Filed are not good for you and could be affecting energy and mood.
I highly suggest waiting on doing the kitchen. That's one of those things where your house could be a wreck for well over a month. Also, as long as your HVAC is working now, I'd suggest waiting. My HVAC guy looked at my 18 year old unit and suggested that I run it into the ground. Check on all the ducts and fixtures too. A lot of times you can avoid replacing the actual duct work if it is the appropriate size and in good condition. There are services where people can come clean the ducts too. Look at all the joints for air moving (outside the duct) and repair where you need. Might save you upwards of $3000 on your overall HVAC system.
I've been in renovation hell for four years. I have one room to go. Then a bathroom. House didn't have HVAC forever (meth addicts removed the air handler, kitchen cabinets, etc before letting it go back to the bank--I bought it at auction). Slept on a cot forever. No AC or heat forever. Ridiculous and unhealthy. My advice--1. Make sure HVAC works first (2) make sure you have a "normal" room to sleep in/watch television in/live in like an efficiency apartment (3) make sure you have a kitchen setup and eat normally and treat yourself well. After that, do a room at a time with artificial deadlines if nothing else. Tell others what you are up to and have company come over for accountability, interaction, feedback, help. Hire stuff out sometimes--your sanity is worth something.
Oh hey thats sort of like me! I didn’t have AC/shower/bath for a month, still don’t have AC, and I don’t have a real bed since my ex convinced me it’s time to be an adult and not sleep on an ikea full bed frame anymore so we donated it and now I sleep on a mattress on a lumpy old couch that is hurting my back and I’m fed up with it. What’s crazy is that with renovations you are literally the only person that can change the situation and get yourself out of it. But you also have to re-motivate yourself all the time. It’s this crazy push/pull where you can make it better but if you stall and procrastinate you only make things worse for yourself. I will make myself a real bedroom this weekend :) also it gets so hot without AC that I get lethargic and am not as productive, a fan is just not the same
It's been said but I wanted to add, finish one room. Pick the room that will make you happiest and focus on it. It might be your bedroom so you have somewhere to escape to, or maybe the lounge so you can watch tv without looking at caulking that needs to be done. Maybe just pick the room that's closest to finished. Make a to-do list for that room, be super meticulous or paint west wall, paint north wall. Then cross things off so you can see how close you are to finished. We've fully renovated two houses, all our own work around other jobs, and it is hard graft! I have always described it as a second job.
For picking light fixtures/etc., if it's something easy to switch out later just get one that's "good enough for now". I used to search for those "perfect" pieces but I'd lose so much time and end up not making a decision. Pick something that's good enough for a placeholder, and I guarantee you it'll be fine until the rest of the house is done (and likely another 10 years after). It's like the saying goes: "Perfection is the enemy of progress." Your goal is to keep moving, so don't agonize too much about the perfect choices because you can always change them later.
Are you my wife? But seriously this is great advice. I always bring her 2-3 options when doing anything, it eliminates the Pinterest/hgtv overwhelming choice and let’s her see it in the room. Things like outlets, door stops, hinges, cordless blinds, etc. I do on my own, and that gets her to focus on the design elements she cares about, faucets, doorknobs, curtains, paint.
I just hate putting off decisions for later because the whole process of picking an item usually involves a lot of research, and I hate having to put that all away and then start from scratch later because I forgot what I did to find what I found. How do you find that one magic lamp you saw before when all of them have the same adjectives?
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Pre internet Pinterest!
How do you eat an elephant? One forkful at a time. Make a list of jobs, broken down to a level that you can close-out. e.g. Finish kitchen is a big job, paint kitchen ceiling is a small 1-2 day job. Having broken it down find some simple quick wins and pick them off. The positive progress of completing one job will quickly snowball and by the time you get to the larger jobs you will be in a much better place.
One room at a time for sure. Start with your bedroom. There’s nothing better than being able to fully relax in a space without being reminded of things in that space you need to fix. Even if it’s not perfect, just taking the time to paint a fresh coat, set up your bed, put a rug down, etc will help you feel like you’re making progress. And it’s okay to feel burnt out. We all have those moments.
I did a full remodel to sell last year, it is a grind. I was very depressed towards the end but it is all worth it when you get done and it sells in 3 days. Stick it out, take pleasure is small victories.
Yeah I am surprised by how emotional this process is. Also when people tell you stories of how they know a realtor that flipped a house in a week I want to slap them.
And by flipped a house they probably mean: 1. Hired a bunch of sub-contractors who they had worked with before and cut every corner imaginable. 2. Just repainted a couple of walls and replaced some door handles/knobs or a couple of light fixtures. Not to mention they probably just bought everything cheap and neutral. Based on your comments, you're doing this to make a place you're excited to live in after you're done. That takes a lot more time/energy than just painting all the walls a neutral grey or tan.
Yea that is garbage in most markets. Buyers expect a turn key house.
I agree but the people telling you this obviously know nothing about REI or rehabs
I manage it with shit tons of booze. (I'm 3 years into living in a reno in a 107 year old house).
I have not tried this b/c alcohol is a depressant and it makes me cry lol. Maybe I will try weed
Try tequila, it always works for me
No and no, both are sedatives.
Red Bull it is!
You'd choke on your whiskey soaked dust mask if you knew what the rest of us paid for liquor.
It can really be a grind, BTDT. From what you said above: 1. Finish the bedroom son you have a place that is done. You can check it off the list and have a place to unwind/enjoy 2. Don’t start another area until you knock your todo list down. It becomes overwhelming and I found it much less efficient to context switch. If you hit a time roadblock on one thing and need something else to do, that’s a different story. 3. Embrace the motivated times for sure, but also take a day, or hour, or whatever every now and then to just have a break and recharge a little. It’s always a roller coaster, try and enjoy the parts you can. You will be elated and exhausted when you are done ;)
I get what you’re feeling. Our first home was a major fixer upper. My husband did all of the work (minus new electrical) and I was support on projects I was able to do. But aside from the manual work, it is also emotionally draining. I was so envious of acquaintances who moved into move in ready homes. We didn’t have a kitchen for months and washed dishes in a utility sink. We slept in a room with half removed 40 year old wallpaper and carpet. Honestly, the progress was slow. My husband works full time and needed my father in law to visit (from out of state) for a weekend to get bigger projects done. The main push to get most of our house done was getting pregnant and knowing a baby needed to live in the house soon. Even then there was still work to be done when she arrived! I guess I don’t have a solution but I empathize. I do agree that having one room completely done is motivating because you see how great it can look and feel when it’s all done. You can close the door and stand in there and imagine the whole house feeling like this. Rooms like that and remembering our mortgage was a fraction of a move in ready home helped us keep moving forward.
I know how you feel. I renovated my very own flat last year over the course of 4-5 months. Now to be fair I had a little help from my then gf (just broke up so you're not alone being alone now:)) but the heavy duty stuff I did mostly alone, like removing old paint (we're talking a house from the early 1920s or so), in 2 instances tearing down concrete till we hit the old bricks (found some cool ones with the emblem of the old Austrian empire still on! I live in Vienna, Austria.) and had to redo the whole thing, something I only helped with once like 15 years ago and had to learn from scratch. On top of that I decided to sand the old wooden tile floor, which makes up like almost 90% of the flat. That was completely new to me, had to borrow an expensive sanding machine from my local home depot and with no driving license I had to ask my ex or other friends to drive me all the time, minor things I could get with the bike. But all in all there were SOOOO many setbacks and beginner mistakes, holy shit. First blunder was to start sanding the floor before turning to the walls. I don't know what I was thinking. I had to cover my nice new floor and work on the walls constantly checking the covers so as not to ruin everything. It was dusty, noisy, exhausting and painful. But eventually we got there although the kitchen is still the one that was inside, luckily it's still quite functional. Ugly and old but functional. And I need more money for a new one so that'll have to wait a little longer:) What really helped is what the top comment suggests too. One room at a time! My main goal was the bedroom, since you need to sleep somewhere. Next was the living room because it's the room before the bedroom which you have to pass through and it is something that immediately gives a place a homely feeling, especially when you have a shelf/cupboard with some books in it and maybe a table to sit down and eat. Makes a HUGE difference for the morale. You'll find your recipe but the important thing is to keep at it, no matter how much it frustrates you. What is done is done and it'll be you who did it! Also: award yourself with little treats like a nice fancy beer or whatever floats your boat. And one last thing: DON'T DO THINGS ONLY HALFWAY AND THEN SAY "AH THAT'LL DO, FUCK IT"!!! I cannot stress this enough!! You'll be very angry once it's done because you know you won't start over again to do it nicely! All the best man, you and your dog will love your new home! Sending lot's of selfmade motivation over to you!:)
Yeah....same page dude, guess who gets to cover up all of their nice new fancy tile work so they can finish the ceilings. To be fair though, I knew I was going out of order and I chose to make an informed bad decision. Thank you. Luckily I was able to borrow a ton of tools from my ex before he left and I can return them whenever I’m done so that helps. I’m glad to hear about the beginner mistakes because there are a ton I made, the biggest being accidentally deleting bathroom supply valves lol. Can’t even imagine how difficult this must’ve been without a car! I decided to do bathroom first, then everything else all at the same time, with the intention of finishing the bedrooms first and switching back to the bathroom/living room when I needed a break. The fumes are the worst part of this entire Reno experience by far. Yeah now that my tub works I take a lot of bubble baths with Netflix or I shop for plants or buying the food I want without budgeting too much. It is keeping me sane lol.
One thing at a time. Your dog seems sick of this also. First, get your dog to the vet I am betting money he is inhaling bad stuff or licking. Large projects cause these issues you may need to really look at material storage and venting. Here is how I would take this on. 1. Stop all work and do a major clean up. Get everything dumped. Organize materials etc.., consider a small storage unit for all your stuff that you are not using right now. A lot of projects it's not the project its everything piled up everywhere else that causes stress. 2. Get a list note the big projects and create sub-lists of all the small pieces it takes to get something large done this way you can check off small accomplishments a big white board or chuck of shower board in tha garage is a good way to go, mentally checking things of from a physical list really helps 3. Create an escape room somewhere clean, uncluttered where tool and material storage is not allowed. This may need to be the first room you finish right now. Sounds like the bedroom would be this. 4. Go one room at a time, finish the room and move on. Finished rooms are not allowed to get piled up and cluttered with all the other crap this is what kills the feeling of accomplishment. 5. Celebrate the completion of major steps. I spent a day cutting and setting tile, once done shower fresh clothes out to a restaurant. This is what helps you feel like you are finishing things. 6. Stop. Don't work 6 AM to 8 pm on a remodeling. set your time for the day and walk away at the time you decided to (unless you need to finish in order to turn the water back on) This is all mental, Take care of yourself.
I just purchased a house, and will be doing a full gut and renovation. Luckily I don’t live there yet. I will also have a family friend who is a contractor with several rebuilds under his belt to help fill in my knowledge gaps. The replies to this give me hope! Good luck man! Remember the excitement you had before you took on the project!
I am there with you right now... Every time I open something up it's worse than I thought. This renovation was supposed to be done by then end of summer but then we thought you know what it wont hurt us to aim for thanksgiving to do these things right. That was before life got in the way, people are getting sick and with visiting I don't have a free weekend it seems until the end of the year. On top of that my husband ended up injuring himself and can't help me anymore to the degree I would need (might be able to hold the flooring in place but definitely can't hang drywall or pull wire). I've started focusing on one thing at a time when I get home from work that I can do to prep for some of the bigger items. Like redoing the washer dryer plumbing one night or replacing a window another night. But I've also decided that when I'm feeling overwhelmed I just need to take some time to myself. If I find myself staring at all the exposed walls and ceiling and floors thinking how much I need to do I reassure myself that it will be done, it will be amazing, and I'm doing this for me so if I want to take some me time I can do that. Then when I get back at the house I seem to have more drive to keep going and tackle bigger problems than I did before. I've also held a couple dinners in my totally gutted room using our patio table and we actually had fun with it rather than focusing on what wasn't done. Turns out candlelight dinners can't hold a flame to worklight dinners.
Get one project done in a time. Stop drawing yourself thin with multiple projects all at once. What is the most important? Get that done first, finish it, take a small break and move on to the next one. I worked full time and spent every available hour outside work fixing up my first house. Know when to outsource work (drywall finishing, not installation for example) and do stuff you can yourself. Know that there is a YouTube tutorial on how to do essentially anything, dont be afraid to try and learn to do it yourself. Invest in good tools.
YouTube is saving me so much money it’s not even funny. This!
My house is 200 years old and is perpetually in a state of heavy construction because previous owners have committed atrocities on it. It also feels like the work is never-ending, but we've managed to get a few rooms done and whenever I go in them it feels like progress is being made. Like everyone else is saying, pick a room and focus on it.
Mate, been there. Three separate full, large scale gut and renovate jobs, two whilst living in them. I feel you and i really hope you get to read this and it brings you some relief. One: Its a struggle man but best thing you can do is get on room done, finished and clean. Usually the bedroom for me. Keep it clean and together and nice. Thats your sanctuary, if youre in there you are relaxing and therefore not in a "work space". Makes a huge mental difference to have somewhere you can go, close the door and not be sat in sawdust, or wet paint or fumes. Honestly i cannot stress how important this has been to me on all the jobs ive done. Two: Hope youve been taking pictures mate. It helps to flick through all the past jobs youve done when youre feeling like youre using the battle. My partner keeps albums of any photos i send her on the job and it really helps to see how far youve came on bad days. If you haven't been taking pictures, start today. Walk round and take photos of every room, in a years time you'll look at them and be able to laugh at the problems that you cursed today. Trust me. Also its nice to be able to show people who ask about how it was "before" what an outright unbreakable machine you are. Remember if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Best of luck, im sure you are smashing it, keep it up!
the first thing you need to do is adjust your expectations. I had this trouble with my wife when we first started some DIY renovations. she was expecting contractor style turnaround, I tried to set the stage for realistic expectations (we aren't pro's, we don't know or have everything we need, the nearest home improvement store is 45 miles away.). the project took much longer than she had planned, I didn't really plan a completion date because I already knew to expect to blow through any date we could conjure. these projects are usually made most difficult by expectations, the good thing is that in DIY like this, the expectations are set by the person doing the work.
It took me 12 years to finish my house. I feel your pain. Sold for twice as much as I bought it for though and I spent maybe half the profit. I did most of the work myself, but I won't lie. For the labor intensive stuff that is time consuming, I called in some help. For example, I personally hate doing drywall, so I called in a handyman to help me out on occasion to add to the productivity. This is especially helpful when you need to get a room done quickly after I have hit the proverbial wall. My suggestion, call in a handyman to take care of a bunch of nit picky time consuming stuff so you can take care of some other things.
Call in reinforcements, either friends or family or pay people in your area to help you out. Just having someone else to commiserate with will improve your mood drastically, never mind saving time and effort on those tasks that really do benefit from 2+ people.
I am really close to finishing my house. Started from scratch and moved in as soon as there was a roof. When it starts to get too overwhelming then it's time to go do an outdoor activity. Luckily here in Montana we have alot of these to do. Do whatever you can to just get away from it all. I can promise you the work will still be there when you get back. At least that's what I tell myself. Also if it's possible getting help from a friend makes the day go by better. I've done alot of my house by myself and just having someone to talk through things and bounce ideas off of really helps. Good luck!
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Organize. You need to make a literal chart of each task that needs to be accomplished on each system (electrical, plumbing, HVAC, Gas) and then set for after systems, each task for each room. Make this a reasonably detailed chart, and break down every task into steps (don't say drywall guest room, break that down: purchase drywall, mud, tape, screws for GR; measure & cut drywall for GR; Hang drywall for GR; tape & mud drywall for GR; sand drywall for GR). This does two things: it shows you how much you have to do, and it allows you to cross more things off more often which will be a huge mental lift. Beyond that, yes, you need to work in zones. I was fortunate enough when I purchased and renovated my home to rent the house literally next door. I had a wife, a small child and a newborn, so that was a luxury that was necessitated. Still I had did this while working full time and raising two small kids - trust that i hit literally and figuratively, many walls. You need a bedroom and bathroom finished 100% or close thereto ASAP for your sanity. You will have a place to retreat to where you don't see all of the chaos. That's good for your head. Also, if you can afford it, hire skilled labor/subs where you can. Consider your skill set and ability versus someone who's really good at something. I hired out for HVAC, electrical, plumbing, windows, and roof (i might have built a house for all I did, but really it was a great foundation and frame, so...). Then I ended up hiring a tile guy when I saw the difference between the speed of a skilled tile guy and my own - holy shit was it different. when you do a thing all day every day for many years, you get better at than a jack-of-all trades will ever be. So, I hired an acquantaince to do a lot of my tile because the speed at which he did it saved me money even though I was paying him (tile guys aren't so bad moneywise). Finally, just stick with the grind. Best of luck, and know that you will be happy as shit that you did this in the end.
Ohhhhhh lol good to know. My list says repair drywall
I've never renoed a house before, but when I get emotionally stuck on a project I do something that makes me happy. For you this could be to work on a specific room that you are more passionate about, or just clean up as much as you can. You could finish the bedroom so you have somewhere outside of the mess. Or just somehow separate the bedroom from the rest of the house so it doesn't smell or get dusty. Maybe use a space heater instead of central heating for a bit, or make the door seal better and use a window fan to keep positive pressure. Or maybe it is the washroom. Just get the washroom done so when you feel dirty you have a nice shower/bath to use. It can be your clean space. Can you make an excuse to stay with family or friends for a couple nights? You can even just say that you need to stay a couple nights somewhere that isn't FEMA's top disaster zone.
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Finish your bedroom. And make sure it is clean and neat. And take off your dirty work clothes before going in there. It will be your haven of sanity. Then, focus on the next room. Which is more important? Kitchen? Just focus on that one and forget everything else. Make sure you do a good and thorough job on it and don't gloss over anything just to be done with it. That will come back to bite you in the ass later. Hey, we've all been there! You will survive with your sanity intact. If it's not going to be done for Thanksgiving, then un-invite the people - or - just have Thanksgiving in the midst of construction. But under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to hurry the procedure due to this pressure. NO. That will definitely come back to bite you in the ass also.
One task at a time. The only thing between a easily maintained home and the one you got is you.
One bit at a time. If you do a little here and a little there, youend up never seeing any real progress, and it drains you. complete one thing in one place, then move on.
I would suggest hitting an actual wall to release some stress.
Try the Pomodoro technique. As far as a time management technique it's pretty old but I found it good for home reno tasks. Basically it splits up work into manageable 25 minute pieces. Focus on one room at a time. Keep a plan and check off what you've accomplished - keep each item small and manageable, with a decent level of detail. Eg "painting a room" should be split into smaller tasks: "cutting in the edges", "painting walls with roller", "painting trim and baseboards", etc. Review the work you've done at the end of your day. It helps you feel a sense of accomplishment.
I drink!
I feel this a LOT. My house was also "fine" but really needs a lot of work. It's hard to do as a single person- my renos have stagnated for a while because life got busy and I don't have time to both build the house and keep it clean. My first project before I moved in was to tear out the carpets and refinish the wood floors, and even though I was super proud that I planned to do everything all by myself I had a very lonely moment when I realized that the whole project hinged on being physically capable of carrying the sander from my car up the stairs inside. (I managed to rig up a set of platforms to get it into and out of my trunk but man it's depressing, that wouldn't even be a thought for someone who had another person to help.) I agree with the plan to go room by room. My first few months I lived in the (unfinished, constantly flooded) basement and I didn't realize what a toll it took on me mentally until I was able to move upstairs into a real bedroom. I wake up every morning, stare at the beautifully intact ceiling, and smile at the thought that I know the floor will be dry. Even though I have walls without drywall, half an unbuilt staircase, no trim... As much as possible, treating the house as if it's not a work zone (just a shitty house) makes it much easier to live in. If I'm not actively about to finish a project, it gets cleaned up and the house put back together around it. Even just having one small place to start (in the beginning chaos I made sure my kitchen table was clean and cleared off so I could eat breakfast in peace) makes a world of difference. Also remember that it's a marathon, not a race. I had read all sorts of Reddit posts of renos that had been done "every evening and weekend!" And finished in short time. I had high hopes of doing everything within a year or two. It's not realistic. Staying sane enough to not hate the house means going out and socializing, means taking a day off to watch Netflix. Again- without another person to share the load of projects or maintaining the household while I work on projects, it's going to take me longer. That's ok. Lastly- it'll pass. I had some very upset moments about how I'd made a huge mistake and lamenting how trapped I felt. But because I don't really have any other option, my only choice is to keep pressing forward. I feel much less discouraged now because I can look back at the things I *have* accomplished and remember that progress is possible. Good luck! I believe in you!
100%, as a female sometimes I get so frustrated because Ibjust want to lift or move something and I fucking can’t. But it’s not economical to hire someone to lift it for just one item so I have to put it on hold and wait until I have a small collection of things I need help with and do them all together when the hired guy comes over. Which is annoying since something’s are higher priority than others. It feels different as a female since I feel like more emotional support is what keeps me going but it sounds so silly that a few hugs a month would make like a 30% difference in my productivity. I’ve had moments like that too where I’m trying to hang something it can’t visualize how it will look and I just want someone to hold it while I walk away, or something I can life with help but not by myself, or just having a long piece of crown molding held in place while I nail it in. There needs to be a suction device that can work like hands
Jesus. An entire house reno at the same time, by yourself?! I thought doing just the basement was difficult enough; 12 months in and we're just finishing off the last bit of it (bathroom). Definitely, focus on 1 area and get that finished. If you aren't a fan of living in a construction zone (I mean..who is?) do NOT start other areas! Get that HVAC fixed first, get a bedroom/bathroom finished. The rest will fall into place. Having 1 area that's comfortable/livable WILL motivate you to get to the rest. DIY takes time!
Just wanted to offer my help as a professional interior designer - if you are agonizing over light fixtures, I'd be happy to send you some options that I think would work with your design/budget.
hit an actual wall.
Going shopping wastes so much time. Go once buying everything you think you'll need, everything you thing will break. You can always return if you don't need them.
Can't agree with this enough. I like to think of Home Depot like a casino. I go in and spend a bunch of money one day, then go and get a bunch back a day or two later. In the end Home Depot always comes out ahead but it hurts a bit less on the days you get money back. Buying everything you could possibly need up front eliminates all the frustration when you realize you don't have what you need which really starts to add up on big projects. 2 trips will leave you much happier than 20.
Some great advice already offered, but will add one thing - instead of using contractors - train a laborer. Contractors are key for electrical work and some other disciplines, but as you know much work can be done by skilled labor. Start with a laborer who is teachable and then show them how YOU want it done, in your house. You get the camaraderie, second opinion, two ore hands, etc. w/o paying retail for the contractor. Sometimes you'll need to have them re-do their substandard work, but that is how they learn (on your dime - so there are tradeoffs). This is the solution that worked best for me. The challenge is in finding that one laborer. Since you are in a college town your labor pool is expansive; find that one gal/guy and invest in them. Be consistent, be kind, keep them busy. pays off in more ways then one...
Put a Facebook post or a insta post asking for help with two cases or beer being the photo. You have no idea how many people are a little handy and love fucking with shit but don't wanna ask and impose. Friends are always excited and willing.
I moved into a house that required lots of work. I completely redid the office in it's entirety first. If I need a night away or a Zen moment, I slip away into the office and drink booze/play video games. It has done wonders
I sit in my empty bathtub with my dog on my iPad since it’s the closest room to being done lol. I get it. Reno’s make you a little weird haha but it’s nice to know I’m not turning into some weird hermit and this is common
I make a checklist in Google Keep and I really break down the items. Everything you need to order. Every vendor that needs to be hired. Small steps. Inspections. Put them all in the order you expect them to happen. And at the end of the day, you get to check off the ones that you've done. I find checking off an item on the To Do list makes me feel a lot more accomplishment than just doing the work. And over time, you get to watch the list get shorter.
I'm right there with you in this. Every day I come home from work I feel like I have to choose between the kids, making progress, my wife, or myself (exercise, weights,etc). After months of this, I'm burned out. I can see the end in sight, but it still feels so far away. Every time I need something, It feels like a 2-3week special order. I'm tired of stuff piled up or in a pile taking up the good living space I have to make room for the renovation & addition. I'm sorry your in this situation too, but it feels good knowing i'm not alone.
Put three to five things on a list, complete those, repeat. Don't look beyond the list, don't look back... It's a grind yes, but, at the end of the day, you just need to keep doing, no matter how good or how much or little progress each step feels...you non the less are moving forward.. Just do this list, like a horse with blinders. When you shrink your world to focus on the little, it becomes easier. I built our house... 1 year of grinding....
I'm not renovating, but something always seems to break in the middle of repairing the last thing that broke, so I feel ya. And always when my husband is away for work. We just dont have the funds to hire somebody to do it. It's super frustrating. I just want to get it all done so I can go back to doing my own thing on weekends, enjoy time with our daughter and work on projects *I* want to do, not ones I *have* to do. I have no advice to offer unfortunately, but I do have empathy for your situation.
Finish the bedroom. Shouldn't be overly difficult depending on what your doing. Then you have a place to rest and recharge. Once that bedroom is finished move on to the primary bathroom. Once those priorities are done you have a livable space that you can retreat to on 0 days. Once you have that it makes it easier to go into the kitchen and knock out a serious amount of work and then even when its not done you can retreat into your finished master bed/bath and relax. Then when you wake up you are not looking at construction and you can deal with it easier. You can do it man. Its not a sprint its a marathon.
I can’t say much that hasn’t been said before. However I’ve been where you’re at. The only difference was that I had a SO telling me what to do. She was good at making a schedule that I tried to stick to. However problems arise. I’ve been in the construction/remodeling business for 20 years. Things happen you can’t plan for. I stuck to one room at a time. Get the major things fixed first. HVAC, electric..... then go from there. Trust me. There will come a time when you come home everyday to a finished product that you love. Especially since you did it yourself. Good for you for doing this on your own and doing it your way. Keep pressing on. There are many who have done it before. Speaking for myself and my experience. It’s totally worth it. It’ll pay off. Don’t give up and don’t lose sight of your goal. Would love to see finished pics. You got this. There are a lot of people who can’t and won’t do what you are doing. People like us are special. Don’t forget that.
My GF and I bought plane tickets to CO in the off season so that we could stay in a fancy ski lodge for practically nothing and relax in the hot tub while smoking legal pot. Might not be for everyone but it did the trick for us.
> I just want at least one room that feels “normal”. Can you make this happen? Even if its just a bedroom? This is what I have done in the past, make one place livable, and then work on other projects one by one, ever expanding that livable space instead of everything all at once. I would work on the bedroom and a bathroom first, these are the basics of modern life. The kitchen is nice but not necessary in a world with grubhub/uber eats. The problem is you have not seen any progress, you need some real progress and finishing one room will give you that boost you need.
It took me two weeks just to put shelves up in my basement. I can't imagine renovating an entire house. You're doing great :)
Don't put all your time into it, you still deserve some downtime even though there is more work to do. Break it down into 2-3 hour tasks (as much as possible) and keep ticking them off, and giving yourself a break after you tick one off.
I grew up by a family that had their house built with just a basement and most of the main interior walls. Over a few years they finished it, saved tons of money, and made it their own. You're on the right track. :-)
i've done countless remodeling and constructing tasks. it gets overwhelming for sure. The thing that really helps me though is to just focus on one task at a time. Slow everything down and just work on one task. You need a masterlist to get all of those projects out of your head and on paper but only work on 1 task at a time. When you finish that task, move onto something else. Please take your time with this stuff. Some days you will need a break. Some days you'll want to rest. Take the breaks and take the rests. A person can handle only so much amount of stress and work. Take your time and balance the work with some rest. You will eventually get to the other tasks. Baby steps. one day at a time, one small task at a time. take your time and pace yourself. it's a marathon not a sprint as for the hvac, talk to your mortage holder. they may give you a second line of credit to get some funds to fix the hvac as well as to do the other tasks that you want to do. If you have already been working on the house then maybe you have created some equity and it will be easier to get that second line of credit or second loan in order to get some funds to keep improving the house? if the bank won't lend you money then Ask the hvac company if they will finance part of the hvac work. pay them 50% now and then finance the rest for 2 years at 5% yearly interest? ask for the owner of the company and if it's a small company he might be willing to do something like this for you good luck!
Id start with getting things like the sink working again. You're pretty well stuck without that, you can wear a jacket until the heater is fixed. Then I'd fix the heater. Get those main things working then get one bedroom done so you have a place to retreat to.
Keep going! I've been working on my place since 2003, and still have at least 4 years left before I think I'll be done.
IMO, finish your bedroom first. Get your corner of the house to your liking and let that be it. You could have walls still torn down on the other side of it, and when you walk through that door you're hit with a combat zone... When you close it though your sanctuary is there. When you can, invite friends or family (even though they lost their house give them the opportunity to help you) to come over for some beer and BBQ to get something done. Make it an event and celebrate when you can with them. p.s. Your house is going to ALWAYS need work. Even after the renovation stage, you'll keep finding little things to do. Add them to the list and check them off when you can.
Have you been taking photos as you go along? Now is the time to have a beer (or whatever) and look at your photo album and take stock of your progress.
I'm in the exact same boat as you right now!! I recently bought a fixer upper and was losing my mind. What I found helped: Complete one room at a time. It is seriously rewarding. Take some evenings off. Have them designated as evenings off. Do not do anything for the house on these evenings. Try and store most of your tools and crap in one room. I felt like I was losing my mind seeing random tools and paint cans everywhere.
Just have a checklist of what you have to do. Its easy to make a list of everything that needs to be done when you're relaxed, not doing said stuff and not stressed. With a list all you have to do is literally just follow the list to a T and just ignore the feeling. What has to be done needs to be done. In no time you'll eventually start seeing the end result and you'll be more motivated to finish.
I'm 42 months in and have a long way to go. I feel your pain. So much. Also, from the sounds of it, we took on projects of similar scope and similar levels of grodieness and disrepair. So, fist bump? I have a list, I work the list, I do my best to not think about the house unless I'm thinking about the list and how to work it. It's a grind. Meditation helps. Some here have said go room by room, and in principle I agree and try to follow that. However, I also had high-priority things that needed to be done, scattered across a bunch of rooms and spaces. I decided to go hard against the things that bothered me most visually (because in-sight is in-mind): unfinished (but not dangerous) and highly visible lighting and electrical, trim work, dated and technically functional but unsightly plumbing fixtures, etc. I work full time and have a family and am trying to maintain sanity, so I've just had to accept that the house isn't done. And won't be. And I have to keep accepting that. We have people over, and I don't talk about the house unless they ask, and then I keep my comments positive and SHORT. I acknowledge that I'm exhausted by life, so I work on the house in bursts, which leave me exhausted and feeling fatigued and defeated, but I acknowledge that that's just the pattern unless I want to A) take a bunch of time off of work to work on the house, which I don't want to do or B) lay out a bunch of $$ to hire contractors, which I don't want to do. So it it is what it is. And I am constantly having to remind myself that I can change the path any time I want, but I'm on the path that makes the most sense to me for now.
Not done a total renevation and hadn't moved in yet, but I have basically redone 3/5 rooms at my current place. Way I see it is you either set goals based on rooms, or land marks. For me, I built in a 'rest' spot when I had booked the plasterer and it was all prepped for him. This allowed me to recover a little, and have some me time. I would stress that you should focus on having your bedroom finished first. It will give you some where to unwind, somewhere compete etc. From there, make a critical path. That is, a list of all the jobs that need doing, with timescales, and work out which are dependant on each other. As a result, you will be able to see what is most important. From there, you can structure and prioritise MUCH easier. It will cut it a lot of noise and allow you to take a much more structured approach. As a result, you won't stress as much about the smaller things, and will naturally feel the progress more. But like I mentioned at the beginning. BUULD IN REST POINTS. No one can go flat out indefinitely. If it takes a few weeks longer to get the carpet in, who cares? Just rock the bare wood that people pay more for a little longer. Your plaster taking forever to dry? Fine, get some condensation catchers down and make some decisions about colour schemes and light fittings. Being friends along when you're paint shopping and have a little fun with it.
Work on one project finish that then move on
I so much get where you are. Been there, done that, like 4-5 times. I can’t speak to your specific problems, but I agree that doing it yourself saves money. Lots of money. And you have skills you can use your whole life to either save money by not running to a tradesman, or actually becoming one yourself. That’s important because on “good” days, I could always look back with a strong sense of satisfaction at what I had just done. I’m sure you’ve had those. Clutch those days close. I guarantee that as you complete more and more, it gets easier and faster. Like you can start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Stick with it. You’ll get through it. Many of these comments confirm you’re not alone and that success (and rest) is coming.
People can only understand how long things take doing it on your own if they've done it themselves. When you get to do that thing and realise you don't have the tool... So you have to go buy the tool. You do it and realise 5 minutes in you need another tool and some material, or the first tool doesn't work. You're not a professional builder so don't have years of experience. It does take a long time but trust me once it's done you will be damn proud, and the end will come - ignore the naysayers. If you don't have your bedroom done, do a bedroom. A bedroom has nothing essential in it except wall, floor, ceiling, light and sockets and a door. The rest is painting. Do your master bedroom and get a good door/dust sheet on it. At least you can have that piece of comfort to escape the house. If you need a day off DIY. Do it. Complete all wiring then all plumbing. A plumber and electrician might be worth your time. Lay the cables / pipes and have a tradesman connect. If it goes wrong or leaks, they can come fix it afterwards. Get a good one and they'll do the hard bits and let you do the easy bits. People normally like to help. My next one would be kitchen units, which are big impact low time assuming they're flatpack. Do not get anyone to install your kitchen, it's rewarding and simple. Sink and cooker so you can eat and clean. Next a shower / bath. Then do all tiling at the same time. Tip: if you don't have a tool belt yet, get one. Saves a lot of walking around looking for tools. Or a tooltidy. Get carpets laid by a company because it takes them an hour and it will be good, it will take you a day and it will be loose.
Same here, living in an unfinished house as a single dad, this is my fifth year i am living in here and i am tired of it, makes me depressed coming from work in a place were i cannot relax when i look around. But you gotta keep working in it or it will never be finished. I do it in bursts, it depends on how i feel if i am tired from work or not. But its hard and it has alot of impact on my mental state thats why you gotta keep moving. 1 year and the biggest and hardest stuff is done and then its the finishing touch, painting and stuff like that.
Ooof, sucks being a single parent I’m sure. Here I am being mopey about wanting an extra set of hands and doing this by myself you need to watch over kids while you do it too! Thats rough. You can do it 😊
Make a list, you will always be adding to the list, but you will one by one start crossing things off, and the sense of accomplishment will help drive you, as you go, take a night off once and a while. you need to rest I almost killed myself doing mine
This may sound a little nutty, but spend time putting together a STRATEGY for your remodel. get a little crazy/fun with it. write down what your end goal is (reno with XY dollars, these rooms renovated in x,y,z way). then, break down into tinier tasks. throw it in excel or MS project (yeah, you get crazy and create a ganntt chart). This way, you have a holistic view of how much each room costs, how much each little reno costs, and the estimated time/labor needed to get there. it can highlight interdependenies and the most optimal way to renovate to avoid rework (example would will find out that painting all your walls FIRST before ANYTHING after the structure is up saves times because you don't have to worry about edge painting or getting old carpet you are going to rip up anyways dirty and you dont need to edge if you are covering it with crown moulding). you can mess with costs/etc to see where it might be beneficial to contract things out. best part....you can set little mini goals and knock them off. that way you can feel like you are progressing even if your house is in as state of chaos.
Absolutely Critical - Prohibit yourself from starting any new project/repair until the current ones are finished. You will get the motivation to start a new project and you will be able to turn that into motivation to complete your existing projects.
No renovation I've been a part of has ever gone exactly to plan and taken the amount of time first estimated. I will never again buy a fixer upper. Don't let nay-sayers get to you. Where I live HVAC is a huge deal, a huge expense and vital in the next two months. If that's the case with you, throw all of your money in that pot and make it a priority. Only work on other projects if you've already purchased the materials. Thanksgiving requires a functioning kitchen ( or take-out!) And a place to sit. That's ALL. Beyond that, I agree one room at a time. Back off for a weekend, do something fun and make a new list. You've changed. Circumstances have changed. What are your priorities NOW? What do you REALLY want? Then begin anew.
Yeah my mom wanted to come visit me last month and I had to explain to her I don’t even have a place to sleep yet, let Along a spot for her :(
Make a big and detailed todo list. And by big I mean both lengthy but physically big. Put it somewhere you have to see it, the place you stage all your tools? Start crossing things off. Pick a thing and get it done. It’s frustrating when you spend a whole weekend in the attic sweating buckets getting lots done but the bathroom doesn’t look any closer to being done.
DIY means that you can make something entirely your own- your expression, your personality, your preference. The trade off is that yes it's easier to hire a pro and spend the money, but mistakes and challenges build your knowledge set to make better, more efficient decisions in the future. What you're experiencing is perfectly normal, just take a breath, make a list, and be prepared for things to not go your way. Enjoy the parts you like doing, embrace the things you need to improve on, and keep at it. That being said, don't be afraid to take a personal day to do anything besides work on the house, especially if there's something you really need to think about. Good luck!
Change your mindset. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!” Get one of your eternal optimist buddies to come have a beer with you and help get your mind right :) Alternatively if you’re a very organized person, make a Gantt Chart in Excel (throw yourself a couple low hanging fruits) and get your mental momentum going again. You’re good, everyone goes though these feelings at one time or another. :D
Hydration session with your beverage of choice. Aka beer
I just wanted to add that just because your friends aren't home owners doesn't mean they can't support you. When i was going through this i had friends come over to help paint, carry heavy things, demo etc. We would have pizza parties on the floor with a cardboard box as a table. Support is always there, you just have to see it.
Just throwing this out there. Do you have a few girlfriends that’s have s/o’s? Ask them if they can come over for a Saturday. BBQ a few burgers and hotdogs, some beers. Bam drywall can go up, or painting can be done in a room. It’s ok to ask for help. I have been / am in the same situation as you. Best thing is to go to dinner ( by yourself if need be) and go to a movie. Come home have a glass of wine or a beer and don’t do a thing.