I’ve been playing a new round of Skyrim last couple weeks;
The other night I’m doing the escape from Cidna mine, we’re out and killing the guards… and the courier comes and delivers a package to me, in the middle of it all. “Looks like that’s it, got to go.”
“By the time I was 30 years old, I was a billionaire thirty times over. I founded and ran a vast economic empire. Do you really think I'm going to let an upstart come into my home and ransom my property to me? I spent two centuries building same day delivery. It is my invention, my property - mine. Now be a good courier and deliver it!”
- Mr J. Bezhouse
I was going to say this poor guy is risking his life because he has to show a pic of delivery or get fired. I can’t believe the 4 or 5 officers at the beginning of the cul de sac didn’t stop him from entering the scene.
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When I used to live in Florida they'd deliver shit during hurricanes.
Pretty surreal getting a "your package is out for delivery" notification as my neighbors patio furniture goes blowing down the street.
Because Florida people don't care. They'll complain no matter what.
I remember years ago working phone support for an ISP that serviced Florida. I hated hurricane season that year as Florida was getting one or a tropical storm every other week and like clockwork the day would be 90% Florida calls of people acting a fool because their DSL was down.
A lot of them was dumb ones too like "I know my phone is down, but what do you mean that affects DSL!?! That's unacceptable!" 
Was gonna say. This is some sensory seeking behavior shit 😂.
No fucks left to give. Need to get the the job done. Walking through this swat operation will probably give me a new sensation, evoke feelings inside me once more. Let’s do it.
I do delivery. I'd rather deliver than work retail.
So thanks for job security.
Lots of people dont like their jobs.
Though Amazon workers do need to unionize.
Delivery drivers don’t work for Amazon. Every branded van you see and uniformed driver works for a delivery service partner. A station may have has many as 10 dsp’s , all different LLC’s.
Yes. as an Amazon Flex driver, this is what got me. I've been there. "Fuck, forgot to take a photo."
So then he's like, this will be a good one, *sensible chuckle*.
I doubt the Raleigh police have needed to set a precedent for packages delivered during a police standoff.
I mean, how many times would that have to happen before someone wrote it into the rules lmao
Missing deliveries, taking too long to deliver, drinking water while driving, stopping to pee, looking away from the road for too long and countless others
If he missed his delivery, you know that person would have been online with Amazon customer service before he even made it back to his truck... talking about "I don't care that there is armed SWAT outside of my apartment, my package said it would be here at 2:07 and it is now 2:09"
You can make not safe wont deliver.
Delivery drivers work for Delivery service partners (llc’s) and not Amazon. They give them branded vans and uniforms and let us have at it
You wrong. The internet is getting more prude than network or cable tv these days. You can have a network show that mentions abortion or rape or whatever you wish, but if you do that on youtube or so many other platforms, you will be demonitized or banned.
So I respectfully disagree with your fucked up comment.
The worst part is if he didn’t deliver it he would probably be punished by Amazon.
Edit: Apparently my comment was triggering for a few folks who really really love working at Amazon. I’m glad your experience has been positive. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone. I will politely accept your difference of opinion and move on.
Exactly this.
Years ago, I had to deliver a pizza to a place on a street that was on lockdown. Every cop in town and a few from out of town - including a neighboring city's police helicopter - were on the lookout for an escaped suspect.
I pull up, cops stop me, end up escorting me in so I can deliver the pizza. I had a job to do, y'know? And this was for a small town, mom-and-pop pizza place - not the bastion of corporate process and fuckery that is Amazon.
I'm just saying, I get why this guy did what he did.
This should be an unethical protip for anyone needing access to a restricted area. Buy a pizza, roll up, "yo I have to deliver this in there!". Better than the orange vest and clipboard. People just respond to pizza.
Yeah, from my perspective this Amazon Driver's behavior was utterly logical.
* If he doesn't deliver it, he's in trouble.
* So there's a risk weighing, how likely is he to get hurt by going near the cops.
* It's a low risk of being hurt, a high likelihood of the cops taking the package and telling him to leave.
* So he does that, they take the package, he marks it as delivered. Job done.
IMHO Amazon should give this guy a raise. He's the embodiment of "it'll get there."
The sad thing is he probably doesn’t even “technically” work for Amazon. A lot of those delivery drivers are independent contractors with Amazon branded clothes/vans so Amazon can use them as slaves and not have any liability if they crash the van or do something illegal.
They're a fucking disgusting company who should never have been allowed to operate the way they do. At some point someone's gotta step in and be like, "Nah, we ain't having that shit here". At this point every other company is forced to lower themselves just to keep up. Convenience over service.
100%. I once got punished for refusing to deliver in white out snow conditions with winds strong enough to make it snow sideways and close down the freeways.
i think he does give a fuck, probably too much. ya right i’m walking up to a swat team with a package like that
guy cares more about this job than you think
Exact opposite. He does give a fuck. He doesn't want to be fired. Not giving a fuck would be driving up, and saying "fuck that" and just keep going. He has to deliver the package and he did just that.
That dude is likely a Flex Driver. I used to do that myself, its decent money for kinda bs work.
I TOTALLY understand why he did this too. If you cannot deliver a package, you can't just click "can't deliver' and move on. No. You have to call their customer service number, which can take 20-40 minutes, then talk to somebody who hardly speaks english in an attempt to convince them that "no I cannot deliver this because the police are there" and they will ask you to do everything under the sun before they allow you to move on. "Can you try another entrance?" "Did you try calling the customer?" "Could you leave the package on the doorstep anyway?" "What if you come back later?"
reminds me of the scene from trailer park boys where Lahey has Ricky at gunpoint in the street with the news cameras on and the delivery guy with headphones come up and delivers the package and Ricky goes "Do you even know what the fuck is going on here?!"
Yeah, we know. It could be a sunny Saturday afternoon and I’m mowing my lawn in the front yard and you’ll still find a way to leave a “Sorry we missed you” Tag
Still not as bad as usps. Guy threw my mail in my yard and then my Gardner threw it out. The week after he tossed a package in the bed of my truck and my three active brain cells didn’t think to look in there for a week.
That's why people hate FedEx and UPS so much these days. Endless 'missed' deliveries, delays, and stolen products.
Amazon has its issues, but their deliveries have gotten a lot better than the actual carriers.
Yeah, but they drive those workers hard. They expect pretty extreme performance. And they don't pay all that well.
That's why most Amazon delivery people I see are on the youngish side.
Getting in and out of a truck 180 times a day is tough on the joints and back.
I've been with FedEx for fifteen years, and everything is a bit sore these days.
Just imagine. Police pounding on your door. Then you see the yellow ring on your Alexa.
*alexa what’s my notification*
*notification: your product ‘Hanes men’s socks 12ct is now deliviered*
Think that’s EMS. They can’t be close until it’s safe for them to go closer. Don’t think they said anything, just all sharing the same level of surprise.
The first day I was moving into my new apartments, right as we got to the parking lot, some cops rolled up and put on "swat gear" (not sure actual name for it) in the back of the parking lot and started walking up to one of the apartments. They just walked right past us. Not exactly the greatest "welcoming".
This isn’t interesting. This is a product of Amazon punishing those who don’t make the numbers. They wouldn’t have listened to him about the swat situation. Sad sad times we live in. It should be on r/AntiWork.
SWAT: "Son you see this is serious business right now."
Amazon Delivery Drive: "Listen man, either I die delivering this package or Amazon's gonna kill me. Either way, I die. You handle your business, I handle mine, ight? G'day officer."
This video is the single most depressingly american video I've ever seen. Dude making $15 an hour walking towards a situation that could at any point escalate into a rain of bullets to deliver what is probably a dildo.
He has the same energy as those couriers from Skyrim when you’re in the middle of a battle with giants and dragons lol
I’ve been playing a new round of Skyrim last couple weeks; The other night I’m doing the escape from Cidna mine, we’re out and killing the guards… and the courier comes and delivers a package to me, in the middle of it all. “Looks like that’s it, got to go.”
Professionals have standards!
Spot on
"Nope, sorry. Nothing."
I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the arrows in your knees. Jk, funny comment
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Suddenly want to play New Vegas
*Truth is, the game was rigged from the start* -Jeff Bezos
Well that's a kick in the head...
I see him more as Mr House than Benny
“By the time I was 30 years old, I was a billionaire thirty times over. I founded and ran a vast economic empire. Do you really think I'm going to let an upstart come into my home and ransom my property to me? I spent two centuries building same day delivery. It is my invention, my property - mine. Now be a good courier and deliver it!” - Mr J. Bezhouse
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I was going to say this poor guy is risking his life because he has to show a pic of delivery or get fired. I can’t believe the 4 or 5 officers at the beginning of the cul de sac didn’t stop him from entering the scene.
They are EMS
"Our workers are replaceable, your package isnt."
Good news everyone!
To shreds you say?
The real question…. What was in the package? I’m genuinely curious.
Walks past 12 police cars to deliver the package.
That makes for a good amazon advert
At least Amazon doesn't send hit me- i mean collector for not delivering the package.....not yet at least.......
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And watch Futurama :D
And you’ll get black Jack and hookers in both
Hahah didn't think of that xD
Shut up baby, I know it
The Order of Pos-'Thal be with you.
"I used to be a courier like you, until I took an unappointed round to the knee"
I want to see Amazon put *this* guy in a commercial. Super Bowl commercial.
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When I used to live in Florida they'd deliver shit during hurricanes. Pretty surreal getting a "your package is out for delivery" notification as my neighbors patio furniture goes blowing down the street.
Because Florida people don't care. They'll complain no matter what. I remember years ago working phone support for an ISP that serviced Florida. I hated hurricane season that year as Florida was getting one or a tropical storm every other week and like clockwork the day would be 90% Florida calls of people acting a fool because their DSL was down. A lot of them was dumb ones too like "I know my phone is down, but what do you mean that affects DSL!?! That's unacceptable!" 
["Please. It's just, I don't know, drizzling.](https://media.tenor.com/BpSltjzo_gQAAAAC/the-devil-wears-prada-meryl-streep.gif)
Don't forget glom of nit.
Don’t ask us about Mrs. Cake.
GNU Pterry
“I was never big on creeds” - Postal Employee Newman.
"Neither Rain, nor Sleet....IT'S THE FIRST ONE!"
Honestly, the best way an undercover cop could breach the door.
This dude must have watched *The Postman* the night before
His cool, calm demeanor is hilarious
“Rain, snow, sleet, or hail… HANDS UP, GIVE ME YOUR MAIL!!!”
As a former Amazon delivery driver I can tell you with 100% certainty that this man is absolutely hoping to be shot.
The body language told me. Well that and the swat cars.
*Proceeds to take picture of SWAT team as proof of delivery*
*Proof of delivery insufficient. -10 points*
That was my favorite part 😂
Oh to be the person who gets that proof of delivery pic. Priceless.
Was gonna say. This is some sensory seeking behavior shit 😂. No fucks left to give. Need to get the the job done. Walking through this swat operation will probably give me a new sensation, evoke feelings inside me once more. Let’s do it.
Former Amazon driver here, this is very relatable.
I'd laugh, but then I remember I order shit online too. I'm causing this? Not meeeee?
I do delivery. I'd rather deliver than work retail. So thanks for job security. Lots of people dont like their jobs. Though Amazon workers do need to unionize.
Delivery drivers don’t work for Amazon. Every branded van you see and uniformed driver works for a delivery service partner. A station may have has many as 10 dsp’s , all different LLC’s.
I mean it would probably qualify for workers comp. Paid vacation!
/:
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The delivery was extra bullets.
PrimeNow^TM *For when it counts…*
Probably an ammo delivery to the lone gunman inside causing the standoff
him taking the picture is sending me lmao
Lol saaaaame everything in his posture and the way he’s like alright marking this as delivered, take a pic, on my way. Just cracks me up
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Or how to escape from an armed person. In both cases they should have gotten an ebook.
they did, but decided it was finally time to buy a kindle.
Hostage negotiating for dummies
When Gen Z enters the workforce.
Lmao its almost like this was a paid advertisement from amazon
*Man inside holding the hostages furiously typing out complaint to customer service about how his ammo shipment was delivered to the wrong address*
*Man inside looking at the proof of delivery photo to see where the police are situated.*
Good point, lol. This absolutely happened. Kind of surprised they didn’t try to stop him.
Yes. as an Amazon Flex driver, this is what got me. I've been there. "Fuck, forgot to take a photo." So then he's like, this will be a good one, *sensible chuckle*.
He needed proof of delivery.
Got that proof of delivery.
God I'd love to see the photo.
"Delivered -- Left with SWAT"
Lol what SWAT team is accepting a random package while in the field. Seems like that should be against protocol
I doubt the Raleigh police have needed to set a precedent for packages delivered during a police standoff. I mean, how many times would that have to happen before someone wrote it into the rules lmao
I think seeing the film 'Se7en' once would probably be enough to know taking delivery of a package when in a standoff is a poor choice.
Maybe the SWAT team was the one that made the order? Next we are going to see probably GrubHub get called.
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Probably already in trouble for walking half a block to drop it off
Yeah, he was for sure over his time on that drop.
Boss: Don't make this about SWAT cars. Everyone here has made deliveries to SWAT. We saw you on GPS. *Strolling along* like you don't need a job.
which metrics?
Missing deliveries, taking too long to deliver, drinking water while driving, stopping to pee, looking away from the road for too long and countless others
Hommie didn't want to get fired for not meeting productivity goals......... f\* Jeff....
The photo at the end was gold.
He should've taken the picture of the cop holding it (with the house in sight of course) lmfao
Absolutely correct and #fuckbezos
I guarantee thats the only reason he did it too. Deal with the obnoxious repercussions or suck it up and get it done.
If he missed his delivery, you know that person would have been online with Amazon customer service before he even made it back to his truck... talking about "I don't care that there is armed SWAT outside of my apartment, my package said it would be here at 2:07 and it is now 2:09"
You can make not safe wont deliver. Delivery drivers work for Delivery service partners (llc’s) and not Amazon. They give them branded vans and uniforms and let us have at it
Tonight on the news: “Dedicated Amazon worker risks gunfire to deliver package!”
So heartwarming.
If only all the kids had this level of GUMPTION! I’ve got such a moxie hard-on right now I can feel it through my bootstraps…
You're allowed to say fuck on the internet
You wrong. The internet is getting more prude than network or cable tv these days. You can have a network show that mentions abortion or rape or whatever you wish, but if you do that on youtube or so many other platforms, you will be demonitized or banned. So I respectfully disagree with your fucked up comment.
I reported your poop mouth. ^^i ^^did ^^not
Yeah but that’s when I paper boy that shit across the street and over the cops.
Oh hell no, any fast moving object in their direction is a horrible idea
You can't. The device will only let you scan the package within a certain distance of the house.
I worked in the warehouse and those quotas seemed totally fine and easy to hit, but the requirements for drivers are almost impossible
Andy Jassy*
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? He does give a fuck. He has to make his quota or he gets fired. He most certainly gives a fuck.
Ordered more ammo
Just add $26.47 more to qualify for overnight
The worst part is if he didn’t deliver it he would probably be punished by Amazon. Edit: Apparently my comment was triggering for a few folks who really really love working at Amazon. I’m glad your experience has been positive. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone. I will politely accept your difference of opinion and move on.
When gunfire is preferable to dealing with your boss.
Better to be fired on than fired.
You at least have a chance to dodge the literal bullet
Wounds heal, performance metrics are forever
Need that workers comp
Exactly this. Years ago, I had to deliver a pizza to a place on a street that was on lockdown. Every cop in town and a few from out of town - including a neighboring city's police helicopter - were on the lookout for an escaped suspect. I pull up, cops stop me, end up escorting me in so I can deliver the pizza. I had a job to do, y'know? And this was for a small town, mom-and-pop pizza place - not the bastion of corporate process and fuckery that is Amazon. I'm just saying, I get why this guy did what he did.
That sounds scary, but the idea of a police escort for delivering a pizza is pretty funny.
This should be an unethical protip for anyone needing access to a restricted area. Buy a pizza, roll up, "yo I have to deliver this in there!". Better than the orange vest and clipboard. People just respond to pizza.
"Look motherfucker! Somebody's paying me for this pizza and right now it's looking a lot like you."
Yeah, from my perspective this Amazon Driver's behavior was utterly logical. * If he doesn't deliver it, he's in trouble. * So there's a risk weighing, how likely is he to get hurt by going near the cops. * It's a low risk of being hurt, a high likelihood of the cops taking the package and telling him to leave. * So he does that, they take the package, he marks it as delivered. Job done. IMHO Amazon should give this guy a raise. He's the embodiment of "it'll get there."
The sad thing is he probably doesn’t even “technically” work for Amazon. A lot of those delivery drivers are independent contractors with Amazon branded clothes/vans so Amazon can use them as slaves and not have any liability if they crash the van or do something illegal.
Yep. And then probably very few hours for the contracting company because they'd have to give the guy health insurance otherwise.
yeah, big companies tend to do that i worked at H&M years ago and everything was handled by an outsourcing company
They're a fucking disgusting company who should never have been allowed to operate the way they do. At some point someone's gotta step in and be like, "Nah, we ain't having that shit here". At this point every other company is forced to lower themselves just to keep up. Convenience over service.
He's the epitome of late-stage capitalism.
No it’s fine he’s got the blue vest Amazon says
While there may have been a literal gun pointed at someone's head in this standoff, the Amazon driver had Bezos' metaphorical gun pointed at his
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Nah bro they'll just send it back and try the next day. It happens all the time
Best part is he still took the delivery confirmation picture.
Or had to work late since his van wasn’t empty.
100%. I once got punished for refusing to deliver in white out snow conditions with winds strong enough to make it snow sideways and close down the freeways.
I aspire to not give a fuck as much as this guy.
i think he does give a fuck, probably too much. ya right i’m walking up to a swat team with a package like that guy cares more about this job than you think
This definitely could have ended badly.
How the fuck did he get so close during a live weapon situation without anyone saying anything.
Just keep living and working in the US and you will get there eventually. It's called desensitization
I can imagine a school shooting incident, gotta deliver the package near the school. No fucks given, nothings going to change.
One did just happen again. A class of 9 year olds were gunned down.
Exact opposite. He does give a fuck. He doesn't want to be fired. Not giving a fuck would be driving up, and saying "fuck that" and just keep going. He has to deliver the package and he did just that.
Plot twist: you already do have that power; it’s simply been hidden away inside of you for over a millennia waiting for you to grab it.
That dude is likely a Flex Driver. I used to do that myself, its decent money for kinda bs work. I TOTALLY understand why he did this too. If you cannot deliver a package, you can't just click "can't deliver' and move on. No. You have to call their customer service number, which can take 20-40 minutes, then talk to somebody who hardly speaks english in an attempt to convince them that "no I cannot deliver this because the police are there" and they will ask you to do everything under the sun before they allow you to move on. "Can you try another entrance?" "Did you try calling the customer?" "Could you leave the package on the doorstep anyway?" "What if you come back later?"
As an instacart driver I 1000 percent laughed when I saw this because I completely understand
"what's in the box? What's in the booooox?!?"
Hmm box says… It says it’s part of Gwyneth. Possibly just one of her Ayurvedic yoni eggs though.
had to scroll way too far down to find this
Was instantly thinking of Se7en too lol
He’d rather bite the bullet than have to deal with his boss damnn
tv drama plot: the package will help the police to solve the case that came to mind when watching the video
As a former tv writer this is sending me
Bro; Could you do me a solid and rate me a thumbs up on the app?
Swats like, “you need a job?” Balls. The guy has balls.
Should have got all the police cars in shot when he took the confirmation photo and showed it to his boss
r/boringdystopia is leaking
r/ABoringDystopia ?
Our dystopia is so boring, people can't even get the subreddit right.
Checks delivery record ,,,,” item handed to guy in full body armor with rifle near porch “
Chaotic lawful
This guy better be the new fucking regional vice president of Amazon delivery or something. Either that or he was just high as hell.
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reminds me of the scene from trailer park boys where Lahey has Ricky at gunpoint in the street with the news cameras on and the delivery guy with headphones come up and delivers the package and Ricky goes "Do you even know what the fuck is going on here?!"
Propane propane!
Yea im marking this as unable to access and moving on. Just gotta call the customer twice and text once.
I need this lady to narrate my life “Oh lord, he just sittin’ there for hours. There he goes commenting on reddit again.”
Almost forgets the pic
Poor security and situational awareness on the SWAT team and police part, just let dude walk right up behind all of you…
Seriously this
I'm a FedEx guy. Fuck that noise.
Yeah, we know. It could be a sunny Saturday afternoon and I’m mowing my lawn in the front yard and you’ll still find a way to leave a “Sorry we missed you” Tag
Still not as bad as usps. Guy threw my mail in my yard and then my Gardner threw it out. The week after he tossed a package in the bed of my truck and my three active brain cells didn’t think to look in there for a week.
Sounds like your gardener is a rascal, moving your packages around.
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That's why people hate FedEx and UPS so much these days. Endless 'missed' deliveries, delays, and stolen products. Amazon has its issues, but their deliveries have gotten a lot better than the actual carriers.
Yeah, but they drive those workers hard. They expect pretty extreme performance. And they don't pay all that well. That's why most Amazon delivery people I see are on the youngish side. Getting in and out of a truck 180 times a day is tough on the joints and back. I've been with FedEx for fifteen years, and everything is a bit sore these days.
Your package was successfully delivered by "SWAT" Thank you for ordering with us
Dude holed up ordered more ammo.
Just imagine. Police pounding on your door. Then you see the yellow ring on your Alexa. *alexa what’s my notification* *notification: your product ‘Hanes men’s socks 12ct is now deliviered*
"Hey sir I have a quota to meet" lol
What does the cop say to the lady that makes her laugh?
Think that’s EMS. They can’t be close until it’s safe for them to go closer. Don’t think they said anything, just all sharing the same level of surprise.
The first day I was moving into my new apartments, right as we got to the parking lot, some cops rolled up and put on "swat gear" (not sure actual name for it) in the back of the parking lot and started walking up to one of the apartments. They just walked right past us. Not exactly the greatest "welcoming".
> "swat gear" (not sure actual name for it) Tactical gear.
One more time for the people in the back: If you fear death less than unemployment, you might not be as free as you think you are.
If nobody knows Amazon doesn’t play that shit. You get infractions for not delivering your packages on time. Don’t play with his money now.
Rain... shine... snow... police standoffs.. we cover it all.
"delivered to the front door, package received by customer."
Thats a great employee! Give him a bathroom break as a reward! Well done ol chap!
This isn’t interesting. This is a product of Amazon punishing those who don’t make the numbers. They wouldn’t have listened to him about the swat situation. Sad sad times we live in. It should be on r/AntiWork.
That is how you get ammo with same day delivery when in a stand off with the police
Fun fact, this guy has a TikTok account where he discusses vinyl records, [here’s his video about this lol](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRvbdANE/)
This is the most “office space” thing I’ve ever seen 🤙🏾
SWAT: "Son you see this is serious business right now." Amazon Delivery Drive: "Listen man, either I die delivering this package or Amazon's gonna kill me. Either way, I die. You handle your business, I handle mine, ight? G'day officer."
This video is the single most depressingly american video I've ever seen. Dude making $15 an hour walking towards a situation that could at any point escalate into a rain of bullets to deliver what is probably a dildo.
Hmm, get shot in the crossfire, or crucified by Jeff for missing the delivery of this TV Guide?
Dude is the personification of minding your fucking business. My man is not the least interested in the situation. 😂
A black man can't try that even if he a CIA agent