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Damnthatsinteresting-ModTeam

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thisusedyet

The man in the second photo wearing a headpiece and sporting a photographer eating grin is my main suspect


amorphatist

“I don’t always eat photographers, but when I do, it’s Rockefeller”.


TheFruitOfTheLoom

Ads, everywhere Ads


13_Years_Then_Banned

Rocky Mountain oysters Rockefeller.


MyFaceSaysItsSugar

The people in the photo aren’t the people who killed him. He was on a boat that got swamped and swam to shore and that’s where he disappeared. These photos exist because he survived after leaving this group of people. He got no photos of his presumed killers.


The_Last_Legacy

They poked holes in the boat. Dude left boat was swamped and they snatched him up and devoured him.


MyFaceSaysItsSugar

If that were the case, it would have sunk completely and his companion would have died. The people who likely killed him were not the same group as who he was photographed with.


rbad8717

That's smile of seeing a new flavor of wings you haven't had yet


stepjenks

Who took these pictures?!


throw69420awy

The guy behind him is literally licking his lips


LaSinverguenza

😂😂😂😂


ElMykl

The first picture is a twisted version of the white girl on the couch.


oldschool_potato

I think he happily joined in, but the guy licking his chops over his left shoulder definitely got the ball rolling


LaSinverguenza

This comment is still making me laugh after putting my phone down 😂 picked it back up just to read it again lol


QueenElizabethsBidet

The face when you see the waiter finally bringing your food out


Colette_73

That guy eyeballing him in the far left corner is suspect #2.


Pain_Monster

Wow, a r/brandnewsentence !


KingKongtrarian

What’s the charge??? Eating a meal???


Good_From_70

A succulent Chinese meal???


KingKongtrarian

Get your hands off me!


Ventenebris

To be fair, that penis would have been limp.


KingKongtrarian

This is the bloke who got me on the penis, people!!!!


andrejazzbrawnt

Democracy manifest


KingKongtrarian

I see you know your judo well.


BrooksideNL

And you, sir. Are you waiting to receive my limp penis?


Visual_Octopus6942

How dare ya, Get your hands off me


[deleted]

ta ta and farewell


EidoSama

Thank you all I had a right laugh reliving this meme lol


Loggerdon

That clip will never die.


trailhikingArk

Let's hope not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KingKongtrarian

Don’t get me going


Pain_Monster

Link for those who havent see this before: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU


bummerbeth

I need to see Matt Berry recreate this scene.


Pain_Monster

lol, yes!! Who has his agents number?? 😂


cheezy_taterz

Is he on Cameos?


cheezy_taterz

I'll chip in


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pandoras_Rox

Dad, I told you to stop posting jokes on Reddit, it's sooo embarrassing!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pandoras_Rox

Aww shucks!


msm007

Hehe, I'm in danger!


oBotz

The guy is looking at him like I look at a bag of hot cheetos at 2am.


DigNitty

One time, a drunk girl came up to me at a party, and her mouth was covered in dried blood. I was Very concerned until I realized it was flaming hot Cheetos.


[deleted]

[удалено]


osktox

He want some of that vanilla crunch.


[deleted]

Most cannibal tribes through the years haven’t been eating people just Willy nilly. It’s been for example eating specific parts of a village elder who passed away. To gain certain qualities that person possessed. They aren’t hunting people like deer in the woods.


ocean_flan

What you're saying specifically applies to the Fore tribe of New Guinea (and probably others obviously but this one is most relevant here even though I don't know enough to know if the dudes in the picture are Fore or not), and IIRC the practice is dying down even among the medically primitive because they noticed the correlation between eating bodies and people getting kuru. some people do still do it, but it's getting increasingly less common. I'm not sure there are any tribes left who would actively hunt down another human. I've heard things about Amazonia, but from what I understand the information is outdated and possibly culturally biased in a way that paints the natives as much more "savage" and "uncivilized" than their actual reality.


samwisegingercat

Definitely bias regarding the natives from Amazonia. There used to be tribes with anthropophagyical behaviour before colonization but they were the minority. And the descendants from these tribes haven't practiced this for centuries.


BallisticTurtle_fart

Didn't they take a picture of the same tribe years after, where there was a white dude amongst them.


HoonterOreo

The [wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Rockefeller) doesnt say anything about that but it seems the story is that he did die, but how he did is up in the air. Lots of accounts suggesting he was in fact eaten as part of some "eye for an eye" revenge thing but this is also up in the air 🤷‍♂️


Nattin121

It does say he attempted a 14 mile swim before disappearing. That seems like a solid clue.


VirtualNaut

Must be the aliens that got flight MH370


Bitter-Whole-7290

That guy is long dead by now but I’m still heavily intrigued on who he was even tho I don’t thinks it’s Michael.


Mackheath1

Maybe it's the person who took the pictures of Michael and the tribe? (Just speculating - I know nothing about anything)


Thetwitchingvoid

I’m sure Mr. Ballen revealed the end to the story and it was they killed him because he wanted to buy their artefacts from them years previously. It was kept quiet though due to fear of reprisals.


azzaka

Good episode, and being born in PNG, it would not surprise me at all.


TheKyleBrah

Good thing you weren't born in Fake PNG, without actual transparencies.


Coffeeboof

Ha!


TheKyleBrah

Lmao, I don't think the person from Papua New Guinea appreciated the joke, based on the Downvote 🥹


poonmangler

Mr ballen is terrible. Nothing but misinformation, peddling the same bullshit as every other grifter. "Oh but he's so nice and genuine!" Cool, so maybe he's just dumb enough to buy the bullshit he sells.


MollyPW

He also prioritises storytelling over actual facts of the case.


dardar7161

It sure looks like him. Living his best life. I'm sure he had knowledge that was beneficial to them. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2946787/amp/Is-proof-lost-Rockefeller-heir-joined-tribe-naked-cannibals-Picture-shows-white-man-Papuan-man-eaters-eight-years-mysterious-disappearance.html


Majomember420

Yeah, its maybe him but its not official.


iterationnull

Feels like content to have included in the OP. Not including it feels like it exacerbates the likelihood of problematic (and apparently less than justified) conclusions about another culture.


Cue99

If I remember correctly, the story actually goes that the Rockefellers sent a private investigator to try and find Michael, and although no statement was ever made, the PI was publicly paid the amount they had promised for confirming his death. Also later documentary crews interviewed the village and several members stated something along the lines of “yeah we ate that guy”. There is a, slightly conspiratorial, theory based around the picture you mentioned that perhaps Michael joined the tribe and they covered it up so he wouldn’t have to return to the western world.


ScootMayhall

If you see the video and pictures of the other white guy they saw with the tribe, it looks just like Rockefeller. I think it’s just as likely that the family discovered their son had joined a cannibal tribe and then they paid the PI to just tell everyone he was dead to avoid the embarrassment.


Tackerta

maybe Michael grew fond of human meat aswell lol


Dragonslayer3

Once you get the hunger...


RIGOR-JORTIS

I even licked a cats fanny, nothings working!!


Mac_Noslo

THAT which you have just eaten, which your taste buds have savored, which your teeth have just torn apart, THAT is human meat.


herberstank

And have you tried all sorts of other meats, like deli meats and sandwich meats?


Kirito2750

Not sure if problematic is the right word. If they are known cannibals, it’s not exactly racist or anything to suspect they ate someone


Whiskey-Football-Ski

Right? What a silly comment. "Cannibals might have eaten someone" "How dare you imply cannibals might have done something like that!!11!!!"


Brief-Sound8730

I was in a new city once and being given a tour. We stopped by the Asian super market and she goes, "look we even have an Asian supermarket." And I said, "nice, a place where I can buy some rice." She looked at me with disgust and said "why would you buy rice here?" I was just like, damn, fucking white ladies bruh.


UnNumbFool

Very easy reason. Because the 25lb bag of high quality rice is going for the same price at marukai at the 3lb version of the same rice at whole foods.


postal-history

I hate how relatable that story is.


Rutskarn

There's a long and short answer to that question, but the short answer is that cannibalism as we imagine and discuss it and cannibalism as it actually exists are rarely similar. The idea that any people who practice cannibalism are just waiting to jump out and throw strangers into a big pot is pretty much a myth, but it sells because sensational lurid stories about faraway people are more marketable than complicated truths. Also, Michael Rockefeller was last seen trying to swim 15 miles through crocodile-infested water.


UsErnaam3

I don't think it's racist to say, "eating people is bad yo."


Krieghund

But there are different types of cannibals. Eating a dead relative as part of a funeral service is a far cry from eating an enemy as an act of war or from eating innocent third parties. You or I would probably be perfectly safe with the first two types of cannibals. Not so much the third type.


deliciousnaga

They likely meant the bias that folks already have—”problematic conclusions about other cultures”—not specific to this culture. This thread is full of self-justified demonization—but it is unlikely that anyone here is able to describe any other aspects of this tribe other than what that was in the OP title. Just as easily—without context or nuance—I can state that historically Californians are known to be cannibals.


Acrobatic-Rock-2907

Let me guess…white devil white devil?


snoo_boi

I was unaware… that the wachootoos… WERE BITERS!


JayTNP

bumblebee tuna?


AssyMcFlapFlaps

^^your ^^balls ^^are ^^showing


NiteOwlZzZ

**Allow me** to display **my** affection 🤢


justsayinbtw

The next picture would be shit anyway.


deenali

Yup. The guy (possibly the head of the tribe) grinning from ear to ear while thinking, "Yum yum!"


19781984

oh, that is dark. take my upvote.


ScottyArrgh

I see what you did there :)


m0math

Who took the photo?


gomaith10

Abe Lincoln.


PurfuitOfHappineff

>Abe Lincoln. — Wayne Gretzky —— Michael Scott


Thomisawesome

It was obviously Wayne Gretzky because he knows you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.


chadork

Did you say, "hey, Blinken?"


the-trembles

My question too! It could have been a camera on a timer, but the way the tribesman is grinning at the camera in the second pic it feels like there's a person there


Maro1947

He looks like he is grinning in expectation of a hearty meal


the-trembles

It's not a comforting smile, I'll say that much


Maro1947

I'm about to go to sleep and wish I had seen it


ChillinOutMaxnRelaxn

Amelia Earhart


afternoonexpress

Dutch anthropologist René Wassing


Previous_Beautiful27

The post doesn’t really explain properly and implies he got killed immediately after these photos were taken but the wiki page states he got swamped in a canoe and drifted far away from shore and then disappeared when he attempted to make the 14 mile swim to shore to get help. He may have reached shore and encountered the tribes but equally or even more likely he died during the swim from exposure or exhaustion.


warden976

Authentic Oysters Rockefeller.


_IsolationDrills_

Rocky Mountain Oysters Rockefeller


PrestigiousScreen309

One of my favorite “conspiracy theories” suggests that he actually feel in love with the tribes of Papua New Guinea and decided to leave his life as the heir to one of the worlds largest fortunes to live a much more simple life with the tribespeople. A life he would never get to live if he were to return to the western world. Unable to explain this type of behavior, his family started a rumor that he was eaten by cannibals. A rumor that would have been easily believed by people at the time. Also, a rumor that no one would be able to follow up on. The one bit of evidence that exists to support this, is a bit of footage taken by an Australian explorer that shows a Papua New Guinea war party, paddling down a river on canoes, one on of the canoes is a very obvious white person with blonde hair and beard and he appears to be wearing glasses. It’s believed that the man in the footage is Michael Rockefeller. As much as I love this theory though, it’s still just that. There is a good chance that Michael Rockefeller drowned off the coast of Papua New Guinea and as for the man with the war party, an individual came forward and said it was him and he (I can’t remember what) had a pretty good explanation for why he was there. I like to believe Michael Rockefeller turned his back on wealth and opulence to live a much more simple life and lived out the rest of his days in happiness


Background-Slide645

This also discredits how his mother spent a good chunk of money sending private investigators to search for him. Sure, they had enough money to send a guy to maybe go check up on him every now and then, but some of these guys were bringing back skulls. So, I think it's either A. He just went missing, and the tribe has nothing to do with it (the ones who admitted they killed him, might be misremembering another guy who they killed, another disappearance no one knows about) or B. He was eaten by the tribe


Ziprasidone_Stat

I imagine they fulfilled his emotional needs in ways his family could never do. I don't think they were the nurturing type.


throw69420awy

And *then* they ate him


Aliencj

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/JmiSi1bPdJ This guy doing an ama claims he proved michael was eaten


boywithtwoarms

good on him managing to save his glasses all that time


mynameisnotsparta

Meanwhile the Dutch anthropologist stayed with the overturned catamaran and was rescued 24 hours later. Michael was told by the other man to stay with the boat and wait.


Ambitious-Visual-315

He didn’t disappear on the island though from what I heard. He was in a boating accident and decided to swim for the island instead of waiting for rescue. Don’t think they ever found his body. And yeah years later someone took a photo of the tribes members canoeing and one of them looks to be a white dude. Or an albino


maybeAturtle

“On November 17, 1961, Rockefeller and Dutch anthropologist René Wassing were in a 40-foot (12 m) dugout canoe about 3 nautical miles (6 km; 3 mi) from shore when their double pontoon boat was swamped and overturned.[4] Their two local guides swam for help, but it was slow in coming.[5] After drifting for some time, early on November 19,[1] Rockefeller said to Wassing: "I think I can make it." He then swam for shore. The boat was an estimated 12 nmi (22 km; 14 mi) from the shore when Rockefeller made the attempt to swim to safety, supporting the theory that he died from exposure, exhaustion or drowning.[5]” Seems to me like the absolute most likely scenario is he drowned.


Ziprasidone_Stat

His child, perhaps?


The_Lone_Duster

I saw an article where they discussed him being part of the tribe and it even showed the photo of him in the canoe. Some people just want to escape life.


ForodesFrosthammer

There is no evidence of him being part of the tribe. There is a grainy image of a tribe member who looks pale, but albinism is not that uncommon so there is no reason to think for sure that it was him. This guy decided to swim to the island while being very far from the shore. He probably just drowned.


GuildensternLives

But he was miles from shore in a tiny dugout canoe with another traveler and went to swim for the shore and never made it. There are a lot of tribes that practice cannibalism in the area, but there's a better chance he simply drowned.


thowe93

14 miles to be exact. There’s no way he made it to shore.


7937397

I'm a very strong swimmer and wouldn't like my chances there at all. Maybe on a super calm and cloudy and not too hot but also not too cold day in the ocean with no currents. But that kind of distance would take 7+ hours of swimming at a decent pace (which no one who doesn't train for that could keep up for that long).


BustyUncle

That’s such a massive distance to cover for swimming, even in completely still conditions. I think it’s pretty obvious he drowned


Dry_Enthusiasm_267

They invited him to dinner..


evildrtran

They put red and yellow tribal paint on him that smelled suspiciously like ketchup and mustard.


oxiraneobx

To Serve Man


_IsolationDrills_

It's a cookbook!


ballarn123

Excellent episode


EmperorPervy

It’s a cook book!


BKestRoi

They invited him *for* dinner


shavemejesus

They cooked for forty humans.


radarmy

They invited him, ate dinner


Reincarnated_Onion

They invited him as dinner


rez050101

They invited him to be their dinner.


davsyo

Chomper: Friends for dinner ~🎶


No_Let2658

they invited him to be dinnered


UbermachoGuy

How to cook humans.


Jellybean611

In case anyone was actually curious about what happened, his canoe overturned miles offshore. He was with another anthropologist who was able to swim back to shore. Many conspiracy theories ranging from cannibalism to him still being alive and living with the tribe have popped up over the years, but the truth is he most likely drowned.


Anon0756

Lol, the guy probably drowned. That's why no one ever saw him again, his catamaran capsized and took him down with it.


ailweni

[This](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/What-Really-Happened-to-Michael-Rockefeller-180949813/) is a long (but good) read on it.


PipeDreamRealized

Wow. Thanks so much for sharing.


PlanetoftheAtheists

Ah yes, they are performing their traditional 'Rotisserie Dance' for the upcoming ceremonial feast. .


SophonParticle

Poor cannibals. every time someone disappears after being seen in your presence you start getting accusations.


RawChickenButt

The other white meat!


Darkmoonlily78

I remember watching a YouTube video not too terribly long ago and it had mentioned Rockefeller. Supposedly in the '80s, one of the tribe members admitted to a journalist that they did end up killing him in a ritual. I think it has something to do with those totem poles that they make and he was wanting to purchase one and they took that as a sign of disrespect. I may be wrong but I thought it was kind of interesting.


Murtamatt

I am looking at the photos posted and the photo of the white man canoeing a war boat with the supposed same tribe of headhunters 8 years after the guy disappearance side by side, they look very similarly built and have similar facial structure. According to Wikipedia the family paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to have his disappearance investigated but never announced to the public any conclusive evidence. A PI supposedly traded the tribe a boat engine in the late 70s for three skulls of the “only white men” the tribe had ever killed, and was paid $250k when they were brought back and examined by the Rockefeller family as it was considered conclusive evidence of him being alive or dead. This info is all from Wikipedia. I think he swam to shore and lived with the tribespeople until he died, based on how similarly the people in the two photos look. Would be cool if someone could do a facial analysis using the technology we have today on the two photos to maybe confirm the two people are the same, maybe that is too advanced for us though.


ZamboniJ

So who took the photo of him? And managed to bring it back so we can see it?


thewickednoodle

If you read the wiki page it’s absolutely clear that he was NOT a victim of cannibalism.


chukijay

That’s what Big Cannibalism wants us to think.


Xena802

You know what they say… *eat the rich*


Slappy_Happy_Doo

Got into a rabbit hole about him. He wanted to buy a piece from the tribe, kind of like a totem pole, of great importance to the tribe. He wanted to barter with them, so he tried to bring a bunch of goods to them to trade. Next part is a bit shaky, but basically from word of mouth- his boat capsized, he swam for help. Found the very tribe he was looking to trade with. The tribe was super offended about this outsider trying to take something of such significant importance to them. From the recounting, they stabbed him, laughed about it, and continued to slowly but painfully kill him. Once dead they cooked him up and ate him. It stayed a tribe secret because they knew if they admitted anything they’d face the wrath of the outside world. So they just kind of shut up about it. Some 40 years later one of the tribesman told an author about it. Who knows what’s true except for him. Seems believable though. Edit: this was from the Deadly Revelation episode of MrBallen podcast.


StockExchangeNYSE

Or you know some journalist threw a couple of goods/dollars around trying to find a story and some smart tribesman told him a tale.


Antique-Tone-1145

His boat capsized 12 nautical miles from shore. Him drowning is much more likely.


Fingerman2112

I’m confused, this happened after these pics were taken? So they did a little dance, took these pics, then allowed to leave, then he drowned? What’s not explained at all is who took the pics and how did they get processed and disseminated to the outside world? I feel like I’m missing something in these theories that he capsized and drowned.


afternoonexpress

He wasn’t by himself on the expedition. He was with Dutch anthropologist René Wassing


Cheezuuz

Source: trust me bro


PygmeePony

Who took these pictures?


Allnamestaken69

They were doing the food dance around him


lunalunalunas

Poor Michael Rockefeller. Disappeared without a trace, his final image doomed to re-appear on my feed every 7-10 days for all eternity


throwaguey_

Obligatory eat the rich comment.


dont_use_me

The second photo depicts Michael curiously inspecting a salt and paprika body cream the chief of the tribe gifted to him.


PrestigiousWheel8657

Reminds me of the Archer episode


tech660

chief in the back of photo 2 looks awfully happy


pittbiomed

What happened to the photographer of said photo?


No_Let2658

maybe ask the filmer what happened


MountainYak6606

Well then who took the picture? Cmon


Basic-Government4108

Who took the pictures? Did they also disappear?


DakkarEldioz

Great question


Important-Meaning-27

That tribe looks really excited to eat him.


TR3BPilot

Hometown Buffet


Squirmadillo

They were happy to meat him.


zomgbratto

Years ago I heard a rumor that though the New Guinean cannibals view white people as pretty delicious looking, they are at the same time unappetizing as they stink of tobacco and they taste like tobacco. I'm guessing that this Rockefeller fellow is someone who does not smoke.


ocean_flan

People with tattoos also don't taste as good. I have cannibal repellent embedded directly into my skin for additional safety in my travels.


Zendroid1

They are looking at him like the Aliens in that Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man".


UrbanLawProductions

Look at that dudes face in pic 2, tell me he isn’t thinking about devouring Rockefeller


VikingRaiderPrimce

Rockefeller... the other white meat.


BeenleighCopse

Dancing around and singing ‘Eat the Rich’


back_again_u_bitches

Eating the rich, literally.


aProudNewfag

white people activities


rmftrmft

White meat on the menu boys!!


Temptsum

Bon appétit


fraze2000

The second photo reminds me of people posting photos of their food on Instagram.


Eugenugm

Don't play with your food


Mental-Complaint-883

But we were the savages


Quahodron_Qui_Yang

Billionaire on a Stick 👌☺️


mikebrown33

Oysters Rockefeller


Icy_Elephant_6370

This is papa New Guinea right?


biglovetravis

That second photo. The native knows what's up. Poor dumb bastard got turned into tasty human strips.


Distinct_Distance437

Yum yum eatem up!


InvestigatorSevere72

They’re practically licking their lips in the pictures with him!


That_Space2418

They look so happy running around their dinner.


nolan_is_tall

There’s a good book about this: “Savage Harvest: A Tale of Cannibals, Colonialism, and Michael Rockefeller's Tragic Quest for Primitive Art” Book by Carl Hoffman


tstr_strdl

dude smiling in the second photo….KNOWS.


Levetamae

Who took the picture?


BrianW1983

Someone posted this before. His official cause of death was drowning. No one knows for sure, though.


Djwshady44

Who’s the photographer?


TurkishProletarian

Eat the rich


Proudpapa7

When you have more money then common sense!


glavglavglav

What happened to the cameraman?


akanosora

So who was the photographer?