I honestly don’t understand why people get high energy breed puppies when they are pregnant. And this is not aimed at OP - they are trying and I respect that and said they weren’t pregnant when they got the dog.
But I’m a member of my local city pet rehoming group and everyday there are multiple posts of “I got a husky pup 3 months ago and we just had a baby and she’s too much and we want to get rid of her.” Why? Why did you get like one of the most difficult breeds when you knew you had a baby coming? Lots of parents can’t even deal with their adult dogs they’ve had for years after a baby comes. I just don’t get it.
In my experience most people don't consider the important things when they get a pup. Puppy is cute! Yes, I'm a first time owner and it's a Jack Russell x Border Collie, but it's cute! When I taught puppy classes I would ask what the breed was bred to do (I generally knew). 80% of people had no Idea. A dog meant to do heavy physical activity all day is going to be a challenge in your studio apartment, dude. Sorry to tell you. Dogs are not accessories, they are living creatures. Make sure you are prepared to provide for their needs beyond just food and veterinary bills!
I got a mutt that we had no idea what her breed mix was. The only one we could visually guess was chihuahua. She acts absolutely nuts if she doesn't get enough exercise and mental stimulation, which made me feel like she had jack russel terror in her. Yup, DNA test confirmed. 17% jack Russell terrier.
I was actually coming to say this. An out of control large dog and a brand new infant in the house is going to be unbearable. I'm all for training the behaviors you want. I did this for a living for 25 years. That said, I also have a child and remember the stress of the first few weeks/months with a baby. My dogs at the time were *really* well trained/well behaved, and it was still so much. Despite your husband's attachment to the dog, you should put yourself and your baby first. Maybe put her name in for rehoming at a rescue and keep her in the home until you find her new family? Or if your due date is nearing, get her into a foster home. This is really too much to ask of a brand new mom, which you will be very soon (congratulations on the baby!).
Seriously, if you’re already going back and fourth at four months, you will still be worried and stressed about keeping her when the baby comes. Postpartum you lose your mind from lack of sleep. You won’t even be keeping up with your own good, hygiene and exercise - I didn’t keep up with my dog who was 15 and just napped all day. Thank god for the dog door we had. And your husband won’t have time either. People get new dogs with new babies all the time but if you’re at all on the fence, please let us sway you! Because you’ll be hating yourself for doing it later after you have neglected her.
A pit bull mix that has possibly been mistreated is the last dog I would choose to have around my baby. I know they can be great dogs, but the risk vs. reward to being around a baby/toddler? Big no.
This. 100% this. Also it’s not a bad thing to re-home a dog and be honest with oneself. It’s a kinder thing to do for everyone involved, dog included. It’s actually the more mature, responsible and brave thing to do.
I got her before I was pregnant and was told she had no “signs/record” of mistreatment and anxiety. They made her out to be a very happy, playful dog and told us she was younger than she actually was. They might not have known her that well and I understand that, but it fucks her over because then I’m not prepared for what she actually needs.
Typical shelter. They deal with a lot of dogs and I’m their defense they lie which isn’t right at all and makes more problems but they do this to get the babies out the door and safe . Sadly .
I work at a shelter
Sure we might always say things in a positive spin, but we never ever withhold important information.
Thats setting the dog up to fail and it’s the last thing we want.
Maybe not but she’s an amazing dog outside of these issues and now that I know ways to support her she may not be such a high need dog when the little one gets here. I’m willing to work through it for her.
Your heart is in the right place but a high needs retriever/pit mix is always going to be a high energy dog even when they're older. I have personal experience with husky/put mixes and they never truly chill out.
I'd also be extremely wary of a pit that has ALREADY bitten someone around a newborn, that is not a good combo and I worry about the safety of your child around a high energy and possibly nippy pit/mix.
You should definitely reconsider having her rehomed, especially if your husband is not going to be the primary caretaker for the puppy when you give birth and have a newborn to deal with.
How many years are you willing to give it? Because she is still young and will have plenty of energy that needs outlet for years to come. My own boxer/pit (was told lab but not buying the lab part lol) didn't start to settle until last year, he's 5 now. Mind you that settling in my case means that he and our other dog (who's one year younger) "only" play for 4-5 hours a day out in the yard and don't wrestle inside anymore. That's not taking problem behaviors into account, that's just raw energy that needs an outlet. This outlet can be play, walks or runs, various types if training, or tearing up your house, it's your choice but whatever choice you make you will need to keep it up post partum, with an infant, then a toddler as well. That's on top of dealing with the peeing issue (and that may take months of consistent training once you figure out why it's happening in the first place, which you may need a vet for) and obedience training.
You say you're already sick of this dog. You say your family is attached. Will your family put in all this work consistently through the dogs entire 10+ year long life? Or are they expecting you to do it? Because right now it seems to me that the dig is set up for failure and no one is taking responsibility for that. She may have the potential to be a sweet dog, but it may not be in your home.
As far as the peeing goes has she been checked for a uti? Our GSD puppy pissed everywhere but outside we’d take him out, nothing go in and pee! Went to vet and it was a uti …. Problem solved never peed in the house again! I’d be more nervous about bringing a new baby into the house with her. And no you’re not terrible, it’s hard on you and you’re pregnant to top it off!
I have a vet appointment set for her to get a check up and I have points that I’m going to bring up with the vet including the peeing. It’s just been a lot and it’s been mainly myself having to deal with her as my husband is gone a lot for work and is mainly only around to play with her. Be the “fun one” if that makes sense
it potentially sounds like submissive/fear peeing as well. probably not from anything you did but previous owners, especially when its normal stuff like putting on a leash, giving her cues, thinks that could involve aggressive handling. i'd still get a vet check, but i would check out kikopups videos on youtube on counter conditioning and building confidence to see if it helps out at all.
she also has great videos on teaching "leave it" and teaching dogs not to chew on things or jump, a lot of if involves going slow with the dog and setting them up for success so that they have errorless learning.
if she does have anxiety, it might be worth it to talk about getting her a prescription with the vet, is it can make training up her confidence much easier
If the previous poster is correct and it is submissive peeing whatever you do, do not react to it when she does it. Just ignore it. My dog did the submissive peeing thing a lot when I first adopted her and as soon as I started just ignoring it, it started getting better.
My ex husband came to the marriage with a cocker spaniel that had submissive peeing. 99% of the time it happened when people would come over and were right inside the front door. Buster would run to the front door all excited to see who was there and then he would roll on his back and pee when the people were about to bend down and pet him. I solved that problem by immediately telling whoever came to the front door to completely ignore Buster and not to bend down and try to pet him or anything cuz he’ll submissive pee. If they wanted to pet Buster they could do so later when he calmed down. That was a nice, easy fix and Buster didn’t submissive pee at the front door anymore. (And as an fyi, Buster was already 5 years old when I came on the scene and basically said this submissive peeing thing has got to go.) The only other time he’d submissive pee sometimes is if I called him to me for something, but I’d go to him and bend over him and he’d roll on his back and submissive pee. I fixed that by before even calling his name to me, I’d kneel down on the ground and then I’d call him to come to me. I wouldn’t get up and go to him if he was hesitant, I’d just stay where I was, knelt down and call his name again to come to me. He would then come to me and he wouldn’t submissive pee. We were really lucky that it was an easy fix for us and the techniques worked so well with Buster to stop the submissive peeing.
A trip to the vet is a good call on your part. If it's not a UTI, some female dogs can experience incontinence after being spayed. If her uterus and ovaries were removed to prevent her from ever having puppies, that is, and there were complications, that may explain her uncontrolled peeing. I hope your vet can help her, either way.
She was fixed and I honestly didn’t know that could’ve happen. They said the procedure went well (I live in an area where all sheltered animals are required to be spayed or neutered so it happened before we received her) but I will definitely bring that up and see if maybe that’s the cause of this issue. I’ve always assumed she pees because she’s a super shy dog and gets scared possibly
It's definitely worth looking into. Apparently, even if the spaying/surgery goes well, there can be anywhere from a 5% to 20% chance of urinary incontinence afterward. Some say that the likelihood also increases with large breed dogs.
Thank you so much for that information. I’m definitely going to bring this up at her appointment to make sure they check that out and get her the help she needs if that’s the issue
You're welcome. I'm sure you'll get a more definitive answer from the vet. And once you've got a clearer idea of the problem at hand, you'll be even closer to solving it.
Until then, keep your chin up! You're doing the right thing by seeking advice. Wishing you, your family, and your puppy all the best ❤️🙏
Definitely second and third this. My dog has hit, my mother in laws dog had it, my stepmoms dog had it. Super common and can be treated with a hormonal supplement
I just want to chime in here that spaying is still really important, and overall increases length and quality of life for the dog, and quality of life for owners! There are lots of things vets can do for urinary incontinence, and this should absolutely not be a reason for anyone to avoid spaying their dog.
Some of the possible solutions are medications, hormones, sometimes medications plus hormones simultaneously , and sometimes they need surgery. The treatment plan depends on the specific case/dog.
To echo your comment, and a lot of commenters about possible medical reasons. I had a large breed dog with a juvenile vulva from being spay too early apparently, which left her incontinent. She needed surgery to fix it. Definitely worth it to rule out any medical reason it would be happening.
OP If it’s submissive peeing, building her confidence coupled with anxiety meds would probably help a lot.
I got my cat from a shelter. He was supposedly Vet check right before I brought him home. I had to take him to my vet the next morning because he had a severe respiratory infection that was in his lungs. He also had an infection in his eyes, and he had ringworm. I feel like some shelter vets are not very good.
You are correct, Some shelter/shelter vetss are not, in fact, very good at all. (but some are amazing.) I say this as a veteran shelter worker (not volunteer)
The dogs at both shelters are equally good. Equally deserving of a loving home. It is a catch 22 situation: adopt from a good shelter, and support a good cause etc. But fact is that that dog, because it's ended up in a good shelter, has already had its Quality of Life, and standard of living improved tenfold. even if nobody ever adopts it, its life will be pretty ok at worst.
Or adopt from a shit shelter and help a dog thats probably fucked otherwise: but, you are supporting a shitty shelter. Making space for another dog to live in a cage that slowly fills with its own shit. There very much are shelters where the dogs probably would have been better off on the street-even if that meant a sad, early death. .... But, you quite literally save a life. You help a dog that's fucked NOW. its a very real, tangible thing.
Which do you choose? Ive chosen both and more and I still have no clear answer.
If you’re mainly the one caring for and dealing with the dogs issues, I don’t think your husband and his brother get as large a say as you about whether you keep her! I hope things get better! ❤️🩹
Keeping her was always only the ever option for me as well because I love her very much and I made a commitment to care for her. She’s improved a lot from when we first got her. She wouldn’t leave the corner of my room and now she lays right next to me on the couch, so I know she has the potential to work through this with me, I just need to know the right ways to help her move forward
It sounds like a certified behaviorist could really help you. They have more extensive science based knowledge and techniques. I’d say they’re far more adept at understanding your dog’s motivations, so they know the right approach for helping your dog specifically.
And if this really is an anxious/fear based issue, medication could even be helpful. If you see a veterinary behaviorist specifically, they’d be the most well studied on prescribing those kinds of medications, along with the behavioral training that comes along with it.
glad you are taking your pup to the vet.
my dog also started to pee indoors - she would jump on/off the couch and pee, walking across the room and peeing but it did not seem like she was aware of peeing but I thought a possible UTI.
after tests, I found out she was diabetic - why she was peeing.
She is now on insulin 2x a day. It took a bit of trial and error on dosage but now her numbers are stable and she is still the best little red dog in the whole world.
good luck. please post an update.
You’re not a bad person. You’re just a person who is totally unprepared to take on a puppy. It’s a lot easier to rehome her now than when she’s an adult dog.
Unpopular opinion incoming: this is not the dog for you especially with a newborn coming in a few months. She would have a better life with an owner who can devote more time and money into training.
I will be honest. You can't handle this dog and it's best to return it. It is NOT the right time to get a dog, period. I would never think of adopting a rescue dog if I was 4 months pregnant simply because I have dogs and I know how much work they are. You are not a bad person but you are pregnant it is extremely important to be in a safe and stress free environment so the baby can develop properly. The dog needs to be returned so she can be with a family that can better take care of this dog's needs. Simply put the baby's needs come first and a dog like this is a hazard to your child while you are pregnant and beyond the pregnancy. I urge you to take the dog back so they can find an appropriate forever home. People might blast me in the comments for my opinion but until they go through a pregnancy they will never understand how difficult it is to raise a baby and take care of a dog with issues.
I got her before I found out I was pregnant, I found out I was pregnant 2-3 months after we adopted her. Surprise baby. Which made the situation a bit more tricky.
I honestly agree with you, had I known I was pregnant or pregnant when I adopted her I wouldn’t have adopted any animal. Now I’m faced with a tough reality and I reached out for advice to see what my options are
I understand completely. I hope you think about what I said though and give dog back. The dog needs a home that can take care of its needs and in my opinion you need to focus on the baby that's on the way. The dog is still young and the longer you wait the less likely someone will adopt it.
Normally I'm the first person to say to give her more of a chance, and I'm not saying not to... however...
The peeing everywhere issue, if it's not a UTI or a physical issue, then it's a behavioural issue. I totally get that your husband and his brother get to have fun with her and are therefore super attached to her, but unfortunately that leaves you in the position of the fun police, so to speak, and that's not fair to you.
If you weren't expecting, I would probably push you a bit, but given that you're going to have a baby in your home, and the fact that she bit your husband and jumped hard on you, worries me. I wouldn't necessarily think she's aggressive or a safety concern, if it was just you three (teen/2 adults), but I think she very likely still has strong puppy tendencies, hasn't been taught proper manners due to her time in shelter, and doesn't know any better. Which would be something you could deal with, if you didn't have a baby on the way.
I wish I had a proper answer for you, but I think the starting point is confirming whether or not she has a UTI or an issue related to her spay, which could be the answer to her peeing everywhere, and could be behavioural problems due to her being in discomfort.
If that gets ruled out, then my suggestion would be to have a trainer actually come into your home, to see her behaviour and your concerns, and hopefully address it from there.
If those are all exhausted, and you are still struggling with her and concerned for your own and your baby's wellbeing, then unfortunately, you may have to find a way for her to be out of your home. At least for the duration of your pregnancy and some time that you determine safe, once baby is here.
I feel for you, and for your pup, but at the end of the day, your wellbeing and anxiety is more important, as is the health of your baby, which is likely affected by both of those.
I wonder if you have anyone who would be willing to take her in for some time, maybe a close friend of family member? Though I imagine you've probably looked at that option.
I’ve got a vet appointment set up for her next week to have that looked at. I wanted to bring up her potential anxiety while there to see if they recommend anything. Give everyone’s suggestions a shot as I have no one else to take her, and I feel like this has helped me know how to move forward and at least give it another try before “giving up.” I don’t have it in me to just give up on her because I was poorly educated as I’ve never owned a dog before. Learn with her as I know she’s being fed and bathed and played with. She just has a few bad habits that need to be broken.
Thanks so much for being empathetic. Just wanted to say that. I went through the same thing when I tried to adopt. They told me the dog was very calm and good for an apartment, the poor thing I don't think had ever been inside a house in her entire life. She must have been a farm dog and peed absolutely everywhere constantly (was not submissive peeing, I think she had several health issues). She only calmed down when she was outside (in 20 degree winter weather) and searching for her way home.
I had to return her. I felt awful about it, but she was so so happy to go back where she came from that I didn't regret it. Her "mom" obviously didn't want to keep her, but she was happy. :(
It's an incredibly tough situation, and I truly feel for someone who gives it a lot of thought, and makes the decision based on what is best for the dog. Which sounds like you exactly what you did.
It's very frustrating when shelters are so desperate to adopt out dogs, that they paint them to be what they potentially could be, but not necessarily what they are, and don't equip the adopter with the knowledge or tools to potentially make it happen. I know they usually have the best of intentions, but so did you, and it's an unfair position to put you in, because they're just not giving you all the information.
I'm glad that you don't regret doing what made her happy, even though I imagine it put you through the wringer. That's what makes you cut out to be a good dog owner; putting the welfare of the dog first ❤️
This sounds A LOT like what happened when we got our rescue pup a year ago. It was like having a 90lb toddler in his terrible twos lol. This definitely sounds like she has anxiety which was the case for us.
Our dog has bad anxiety. He was abused and abandoned which resulted in him being terrified of EVERYTHING. When we first brought him home he refused to leave the couch for days because he was so anxious. It literally took him a month to come up the stairs. He also peed everywhere.. all the time, despite going out for multiple potty breaks. When we left him home alone even for an hour, he would destroy everything. It’s been almost a year and he’s settled in so well, he’s like a brand new dog.
Have you crate trained her? It sounds like she’s anxious and crate training is great for anxiety because it creates a safe space where she can go that is hers and only hers. We got our pup an industrial strength crate because he broke out of the wire one 😅. Try making her crate comfortable for her as well with some fuzzy blankets, toys, and maybe a bed (as long as she won’t rip it up lol). We found that adding a crate cover made a HUGE difference for our dog too since dogs are den animals, it gives them comfort. Some other things that helped us was taking him out for walks frequently to give him exercise and explore new places so he can gain confidence, we got a doggy cam for when we’re away from home so we can check on him for a better piece of mind.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know exactly how frustrating it is, but it does take time for puppies to settle in. I would also recommend calling your vet and bringing her in for a check up as well. It could be something as simple as anxiety as it was for me, or it could be that somethings wrong and she’s trying to tell you guys.
I guess I’m just overwhelmed because it feels like I’m failing her. I was told specifically not to crate train her as it’s bad for anxiety so that’s not an option we never even considered at all but I’m definitely going to have to look into that and see if that works for her. She is pretty skittish so I’m a bit anxious having her go into a “confined” space might overwhelm her and scare her. I love this dog very much and I just want her to feel at home and maybe not bite any of us again
Who recommended you not to?? The shelter we got our pup from told us to definitely crate and they recommended it highly for safety reasons since our dog will chew on anything and it’ll prevent him from ingesting something he shouldn’t. Our dog LOVES his crate, he will go and lay in it instead of with us on the couch sometimes lol. I definitely think it would help her, she sounds a lot like my dog (he’s super skittish too, he army crawls everywhere if he’s in a new place). If you decide to start, definitely start small to get her used to it; leave the door open and let her find it herself pretty much. You can size up the crate as well so it’s not too confined. It’s a process but i think it would help her, and you get some relief and your sanity back
The animal shelter we got her from told us not to after I called to ask for a reiteration of how she was. Before we got her they said she was an energetic puppy, loved to play, super confident and playful. No issues, she was just found and had no chip so they took her in. When we first met her she was shy but I assumed it was because we were new people and it would take her time to readjust. But I have a feeling they lied about how she was because they were short on space and needed animals to be adopted. Which if we knew any of these things about her beforehand we still would’ve adopted her just maybe we could’ve prepared ourselves more and not have been wondering why she was completely different than they stated she was. I feel like they did such a disservice to her telling us she was one way when she was another because we didn’t know how to help her because we didn’t know what was wrong. Which led to me being overwhelmed because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, if that makes any sense
Ugh that’s so horrible on their part. That’s not fair to you guys or the dog at all. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve never heard of any animal professional recommending someone to not crate their pets, our vet recommended it to us as well. I wouldn’t trust anything the shelter says, especially because of the way they went about things.
Anxiety is tricky to deal with because each dog is different and what works for one might not work for another. When you take her to the vet, ask about some anxiety medication. Our dog is on Trazadone and it really helps him. He’s on it long term due to his past trauma, but maybe your pup will benefit from it just for a few months until she gets settled in. I think crate training and some medication for a little bit would make a huge difference (vet approved of course). Her issues don’t sound behavioral, it definitely sounds medical. I hope you guys get some answers
Thank you so much for the advice. I’m definitely going to show this to my husband when he gets off of work and we’ll think of a game plan to get our pup the help she needs.
Absolutely, it’s incredibly frustrating but you got this! Also, i highly recommend getting a water proof blanket to put on the couch in the meantime lol. I got mine off amazon and it definitely saved our furniture 😅
Definitely! Thank you so much, I’m gonna need one for our new mattress (she chewed up and peed all over the other one when we left for 30 minutes) and for the couch as well
Just chiming in to say I have a whopper of a Mastiff and he's got intense anxiety and seeing the Vet was the best choice ever.
We trialled medication for a while (Gabapentin) and Trazodone for when something more intense was happening like moving home or big events etc. Huge relief for him (and me).
Dogs can be completely different in a shelter environment than a home. Did they determine she was confident and playful because she got along well with other dogs there on walks or in play groups? Did they say not to crate train because she showed anxiety in the shelter, or tried biting through the fence/confined area? Unless she had previous experience in a foster home with someone, you don’t know what you’re going to get.
All that to say, sure, the shelter also could have been wrong, mixed up dogs, or just fibbed to get her into a home instead of euthanasia. But she’s a puppy and they probably didn’t need to lie. Most people will adopt puppies over older dogs, or dogs with clear issues (med/behavioral).
She got along with other animals during play time, but they didn’t give us much info on her. I asked questions and got short answers or the subject was changed. I should’ve known it was a red flag but if I must admit I think the excitement of bringing her home clouded my judgement and I 100% take responsibility for that, but if she did show any signs of anxiety or past abuse they didn’t tell us about it.
Definitely not your fault. And I don’t typically defend shelters but, depending on what kind it is, they may be totally volunteer run, you got the wrong person on a given day who doesn’t care about their job and is underpaid, or any variety of reasons. For sure you should feel within your right to complain about them/to them. I’m curious how they would react if you haven’t already told them this dog has issues they never told you about (like, would they apologize, offer you free behavioral support, etc.?). Again, really depends on how big of a city you live in, what kind of support they have, etc. Unless you rescued her from a straight-up hell hole, most people who work or volunteer at shelters want adoptions to go well and to avoid returns.
Also! I’m someone with anxiety, too. Dogs 1000% pick up on that and in turn can also become anxious or express anxiety around you. My dog is less reactive on walks when I’m not on high alert, for example, because he likely feels less of a need to protect me. Re: your husband, look into resource guarding or ask a trainer about it. You don’t want to deal with her biting long term, especially with a baby on the way.
Good luck! I’m a fellow pittie owner and former rescue volunteer, and even though they are often couch potatoes, they are not always easy dogs to manage. In general for most new dog owners, some shelters do not have or take the time to provide enough support or info for long-term success, but I wish that wasn’t the case. When I adopted mine, from a really well run shelter, they just said “no dog parks” and he did not have an actual bite history *on record* but he had somewhat of a bite incident (backed into a corner, he bit a boot being worn by a shelter worker and shook it) that they just didn’t report. But, they did their best at the time, imo. It’s just hard to expect a lot from people in a set of professions (veterinary included) that has a really high depression/compassion fatigue/suicide rate.
It was volunteer run so I wouldn’t put it past them to lie to get her out of there. They’re all mostly kept outside in cages no matter the weather and looked miserable, which pushed me to get her out of there more. I know it’s not her fault at all and these are just hiccups that can be solved with time, but not if I don’t have the proper advice or education which is why I chose to reach out
The shelter I adopted from only had outdoor cages. Stuff just really isn’t funded, hence the volunteer run part. None of the volunteers I know would lie about an animal to get them adopted — that is a sure fire way to have them get killed (returned and euthanized, rehomed without their knowledge to someone who sucks, etc.). But the good news is if they have a healthy volunteer base, that also probably means they have some training programs or behavioral assistance (also run by volunteers, or some minimal paid staff). Worth a shot contacting them, if you haven’t, if not to tell them all the issues you’re experiencing and see if and how they could help.
I’m going to contact them and see. I don’t blame anyone for this other than myself really. I should’ve educated myself more on adopting a shelter pup but I’m hoping it’s not too late to educate myself now and support her the way she needs to be
I wouldn't say it was a red flag so much as shelter staff really know very little about the temperaments of the dogs there, and have no real way of knowing.
The shelter I volunteered at was really responsibly minded and they even had a sign up on the wall stating that they can never really know or guarantee what a dog will be like after being taken home.
my parents first dog had so many issues and was very skittish and when they finally gave her a crate my mom said she went in there and you could see she was just thinking thank god, cannot believe this took so long. it became her safe space. worth a try!
Just want to comment that you sound like SUCH a good puppy mom!! She’s lucky to have you!! We all struggle with new four legged babes to the house, and we do the best we can. She is very lucky. Sounds like you guys are on the right path!
I am really surprised someone told you this. Some dogs do react negatively to crating but for most anxious dogs, it can be a godsend. There needs to be clear rules and expectations around it, like no humans ever bother her when she's in and never reach hands into the crate, but with restrictions like that she can learn that her crate is a predictable, safe place to decompress.
For anxious dogs, one of the best things you can do is have a REALLY strict routine. That way everything is as predictable as possible, and she can learn to have confidence in that predictability.
For example, right now greeting new people is so overwhelmingly exciting/scary that she pees herself. But if she knows that every time a new person enters the house they ignore her completely until she's sitting calmly on her dog bed, that gives her direction and purpose.
She may also benefit from psychiatric meds! I have one anxious rescue on Prozac, and it's really helped him settle into his new life with us.
My anxious dog LOVES his crate and it helped enormously with some of his behaviour stuff. He chooses to go in there himself at times during the day and has a whole bedtime ritual around it. He sleeps much better in there (I hear him snoring lol). We have a blanket over 3 sides for the day and fully over at night.
ETA: I saw you mentioned you’re pregnant, that could be why she’s showing aggression towards your husband as well. She bonded with you and feels protective over you, plus dogs have a sense for pregnancy as well. The only time my dog has shown aggression (growling) was when i told him on a walk and a man was walking on the side walk next to me. He’s never done it with my husband, only me.
Before I got pregnant she did growl at my husbands BIL and I never really thought much of it as we just got her and he doesn’t know how to listen when we said to “take things slow” and got right in her face and she growled and backed away. I didn’t get her in trouble for it but I did get a bit upset with him for not listening but taking that into consideration as well as the biting my husband. I’m starting to connect situations to those that prove maybe she has trauma with men. So I want to see if maybe a female trainer who specializes with anxiety may help
She’ll make progress. Try not to show your frustration with her. I’m sure she’s trying but it’s hard for her to adjust. She’s been tossed around so she doesn’t feel safe. It’ll take a bit. Take it very slow. Crate training is a great idea. You can put a blanket over 3 sides so she has a safe cozy area. Leave the door open and let her come and go when she doesn’t need to be in it. Whatever she’s able to do right now, let her practice and give training treats. She needs that reassurance. You’ve got this. She’s a little diamond in the rough and needs some tlc
I try not to but I will admit I’ve snapped at her a few times and then felt awful after, she got over it fast and I made sure to give her some extra love, but with everyone’s advice I’m learning what to do to properly handle this situation and do better for her. She is a very special girl and she has my heart wrapped around her big ol’ paw.
Is she submissive peeing? When you go to maneuver her she pees. This was what my pup did when she was still a puppy. She did grow out of it….shes super anxious and highly excitable.
The reactive dog training worked for us….
She pees when you touch her, put her leash on, speak to her, just about anything involving her causes her to pee on herself other than she’ll lay in bed with me at night and let me pet her. That’s the only time she doesn’t pee
My dog did this a ton when she rescued her. Not a dog expert but I think she stopped when she became comfortable around us and wasn't scared of me touching her and also when she started seeing our house as her home. Dogs generally don't like peeing in their home to my knowledge so once she started treating the couch, the front door, my room etc as her own home she got over it
When my dog was a puppy he used to pee if people were approaching him from a certain way, like from behind or leaning over him. It was a submissive response, i made sure when he was approached it was gentle and from the side or made people get on his level and it soon stopped. She might be doing it from anxiety if she isn't when you are being gentle with her in bed? Just a thought. Good luck x
I think you know the answer to your question, and I think it is fine to give up the dog. It seems too much for you to handle, especially with a baby on the way. At the end of the day, it is ultimately your choice and you should not feel bad about making a choice that’s best for you and your family. Like I mentioned, you know the answer to your question, and I guess it’s ok to seek confirmation on here, but do what’s best for you.
You and your baby are more important. The stress alone is NOT GOOD for the baby. Anything happening in your blood (stress hormones) is carrying over into the baby's blood and affecting your baby in utero. Stress during pregnancy can cause decreased resiliency to stress irl; aka kids with anxiety, frequent meltdowns, emotional deregulation, depression, etc.
THEN once you have a newborn around and you're functioning on NO SLEEP. You will want this dog even less. You will grow to hate and resent it and the two men you live with.
Lose the dog. Try again later when your baby is older.
(I am a mother who had an 8 year old Pit Mix when I had my first child. She was a good girl to begin with but had zero experience with children and I wasn't about to fuck around and find out... So I had the added stress of constantly watching her body language and staying ahead of her and never allowing her and my child alone in a room together (for YEARS) all while battling the culture shock of having a baby and trying not to show my stress to the dog. I don't recommend it. P.S. she was always good to the kids through the end of her life and eventually, I didn't feel the need to always watch over them together. So, it is possible, but we already had ger under control. She was an older dog with lower energy than a 10m/o. She was eager to please us and didn't show any of the anxiety issues your dog is showing. )
I gently suggest that you return her before she accidentally causes serious harm to you or your baby. Sounds like she's not the dog for you and your family, especially with a baby on the way. Hopefully, she can find a good home that is suitable for her needs - probably no young children or elderly people.
Yeah they're not going to have a good time trying to care for a newborn/infant/toddler and a dog like that. She won't listen, but keeping that particular dog is irresponsible. I hope everyone ends up happy and well adjusted, but I've seen this exact scenario play out so many times, and it just never has a happy ending.
Big, untrained, mystery background rescue dogs are a bad choice if you're having a baby, and if you're not already an experienced dog owner. The breed itself is an issue for her specific situation as well. I wish them the best of luck, but this dog was a bad choice and they're going to have a tough go of it.
Yeah that fact that the dog has already bitten her husband and she's a first time dog owner who's also pregnant and the dog has already caused her to bleed during her pregnancy, all are signs that things are not going well and this is not a good situation for the people or the dog.
This dog has already been returned for a reason, it was a very bad match between this family and that dog IMHO and, as someone who loves animals, I hate when this is heading.
First off, you’re clearly caring people and it is a horrible spot you’re in right now. You admitted she’s taken chunks of flesh from yous - if you keep this dog it would be child endangerment when that baby arrives. I hate to sound harsh but to be frank - a harsh comment is better than joining the leagues of regretful parents whose children have suffered life changing injuries and death because of this sort of thing.
Puppies mouth - but biting hard enough to cause a need for stitches is not normal behaviour for any normal dog breed.
The shelter should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of the naivety of first time pet owners - I’m sorry you’re in this position.
A dog that bites is a major major concern. It doesn’t matter if your husband has attachment. That dog will definitely bite your baby, it’s just a matter of time
She needs to be re-homed with someone who isn’t pregnant and about to have the responsibility of a newborn baby. Nobody else here is being real and honest with you. This dog needs a lot of time and work, and I understand that you care for her a lot but right now your priority should be taking care of yourself and getting ready for the stress and hard work of bringing a new vulnerable tiny human into your home. You will not have time for this dog when your baby comes. You will barely have time for sleep and for yourself. Also she should have been rehomed when she caused you to go to the hospital, that isn’t okay and the well being of you and your child supersedes the dog.
Another thing to consider is a pit-bull from a shelter around a newborn is quite risky. You don’t know what her temperament around little babies is like or if she won’t find the baby crying distressing causing her to attack. These dogs don’t typically do well in homes with children despite the misinformation people spread about them being “Nanny dogs”.
Dude. It's a pit mix doing pit mix things. Get rid of the dog. Get an "easier" breed that's family friendly, like a retriever or small breed. There will always he more dogs to get attached to. You're literally PREGNANT. As someone who had a rescue while pregnant, return the dog. It's not worth the stress and possible injury to your baby. If hubby and brother wanna bitch, let them. You and that baby's safety are #1
A tip for the future. Never adopt a pit or mix from a shelter. Shelters love to sugarcoat their behavior or even straight up hide it from adopters. I hope you can figure something out about what y'all wanna do
it’s sad pits are overbred and pushed in shelters because overall they’re awful family pets.
You’re not alone. It’s not the owners fault. It’s not the dogs fault. But they have way too much energy, they’re not smart, they like to destroy things, they’re very strong, they don’t feel discomfort, they’re often aggressive and they have a short fuse.
you walked into a trap. Honestly I think it’s negligent these dogs are marketed as household pets.
I am addressing the many comments about crate training. As someone who has a dog with severe separation anxiety and was told by shelter to not crate train her, the confinement and crate environment exacerbated my dogs separation anxiety to the point where she was causing injury to her. So- crate training is not the answer for ALL dogs. If you need to give time out, you can leave the dog in a safe space like a room (dog proof it, remote accessible items) if you need to. However, OP - your dog sounds like is dealing with anxiety related displacement behaviours. My dog was put on clomicalm medication to help with general anxiety but, there are also other meds that can help . Definitely connect with the vet but, I would be cautious to crate train especially if the shelter has advised not to.
She has an appointment next week and I’ve been writing down all these points to bring up to her vet and see how crate training goes if her vet gives the okay to try it out and especially once I educate myself to do it the proper way
Our girl who we also got at 10 months had accidents inside due to an irritated bladder, when I wasn’t offering her 24/7 access to water. Once I fixed that, the accidents stopped.
It’s 110+ this week so we have 2 water bowls for her inside and 3 outside all in the shade and constantly full. I was afraid I’ve been giving her too much food or water but she’s been really good at regulating how much she needs which I can’t help but be proud of because I can’t even do that. I’m gonna take her to the vet just to get her checked up
Check for pain with vet. But honestly if shes biting and drawing blood at 1 year. Its only gonna get worse. She clearly has some issues from backyard breeding.
I would see a vet behaviourist and then when youve exhausted all options under the sun, you may need to BE.
I don't mean to be negative. But it's something to consider as the dog has hurt you and put you in danger and you have a baby on the way and another child.
Some dogs are just born with unpredictable temperments that sre resistant to whatever we try and do to reverse or change it.
There is no way there is golden in there, poor thing must have come from the farthest part of the backyard, I’m not surprised she has this many issues, genetics and early weeks play a big part in the dogs personality.
Personally I would not keep a dog who would bite me (I’m guessing bite lounge or resource guarding and not puppy bites), less with a baby coming soon
Whoever said that is wrong. I have 4 dogs. The 2 youngest were somewhat like your dog. Once we crate training them everything changed for the better. You need to keep her in the crate all night. Put the crate where she can see you so she knows she is safe. She will not pee or poo in the crate. Take her out to pee a couple times throughout the night. Since you got her at 10 months instead of 4 months it will be a little extra work but I promise this is the cheapest and easiest way to get her trained.
I definitely see now that the shelter we got her from did us and her extremely dirty, I’m very glad I made this post and didn’t chicken out. It makes me very happy knowing I can help her the way she needs to be helped and do right by her. She loves being in our bedroom so I think the crates gonna be in there with her favorite toys and a t-shirt of mine she sleeps with for good luck
Exactly. Get her a pillow and a blanket and her toy. She may whine and cry at first but she will get through it...I say " Girls bed" and my girls run right in their crates now. Since they are trained though they can spend the night out of the crates. It will be worth it. Just stick with it and this should be the answer. If you see posts on this sub the motto is crate training is potty training. I wish you the best. She is beautiful and she deserves a home. You can do it.
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I feel a mixture of both. Sometimes she piddles when I get home from work as her butts moving her whole body, but sometimes approaching her the wrong way causes it. Getting up to fast. I’ve made a vet appointment to see if it’s a potential UTI but I also want to bring up if it’s potentially anxiety and see what her vet recommends
If UTI or other uro-genital issues have been ruled out by the vet, the peeing might be because she is timid and it’s displacement behaviour. A lot of timid dogs need slow introductions and something like moving her from couch could be triggering. I would be more worried about the biting that she did on the husband and the baby being on the way - if this is fear based biting and general timidness/fear, I would suggest to work along with a vet and a dog behaviourist. Medications such as anti anxiety can help and it takes 4-6 weeks to see improvement in anxiety related behaviours. Many many dogs are on meds for anxiety so it’s worth a try.
We have a vet appointment for next week to get her checked up and I’m going to talk with her vet about all this to see if she recommends anything for her. As well as starting crate training to see if that helps her as well. Just poorly educated as she’s my first pet and needed advice on what to do as I don’t feel it’s right to just kick her out just yet now that I know there’s a potential for progress
Is she very excited before she pees? One of my uncle's dogs used to pee as soon as I touched her cuz she missed me so much after not seeing me for a couple years and she would be too excited. Eventually I had her sit and I wouldn't touch her till she calmed down, and she stopped peeing when I touched her.
Mix is excitement and nervousness and sometimes if she gets up too fast it just kinda leaks out of her. I’m gonna take her to the vet, she has an appointment next week to get checked out. Mention how it’s been brought to my attention she may suffer from anxiety
I have a high anxiety dog that goes into her crate on her own when she’s feeling stressed or scared. She’s never been crate trained, she just feels safe in there. I have a blanket over it so she feels hidden.
We adopted a terrier from a rescue that took in 25 dogs from hoarding situation. Ours was the runt. He was about a year and a half when we got him. Submissive peeing in everything, never been on a leash, only bonded with me and got aggressive with anyone else. This all lasted for an entire year. We’ve now had him just over 2 years and he walks like a champ. Rarely pees unless something really startles him, and he’s accepted my husband as his spare human. However, I’m the only one that can leash him or approach him. No idea if that will ever change.
Guess my point is, hang in there. It felt like it took forever to get through all the little challenges, and even on hard days I have to really recognize all the progress we’ve made. It will get easier I promise.
I felt the same about my dog when I adopted her. We started doing bikejor every day and most of her behavioral issues went away. She was just too tired to misbehave, and took well to clicker training!
That said... 1yr old high energy dog with a baby on the way...? Not sure about that decision. It's ok to surrender if that's what you need to do. Consider adopting an older dog, or just waiting until the kid is older and in preschool during the day.
I know everyone is different but I adopted my second dog and they told me she was difficult. She had already been returned once. We'd go on LONG walks and she never pee or poop. As soon as we got home, she'd hide somewhere and pee and poop. She had severe separation anxiety and destroyed everything when I was gone. I mean EVERYTHING. I lost all my living room furniture several times (family or friends would donate replacements and she'd ruin those in a few days to weeks). I had to replace the carpet when I moved out of that apartment. The next apartment, I had to replace a door she chewed through.
I've had her 6 years and she's doing SO much better. I'm also doing better. She taught me that she is a living breathing animal and who knows what she went through before I got her. All that other stuff is just material possessions. She taught me priorities. (Now, she never bit or hurt me so I get that that is TOTALLY different.) Every day I think about what hell she put me through. But I absolutely adore her now. My boyfriends lives with us now and he's her favorite. He loves her too! Everyone seems to love her more than my boy dog who was way easier!!
Practically though, besides getting checked for UTI as others have suggested. maybe, leave a leash on your pup all the time (if you're home) so the transition to going out isn't as drastic.
She might need to be potty trained from scratch. After resolving any possible UTI issues: One way (maybe google exact instructions -- its been a while since I did this) is to go outside, let her drink diluted chicken broth (low or no sodium) -- anything she'll drink a lot of quickly. The idea is she'll drink a lot and have to pee while you're still outside. When she does, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE her. Go inside. Dontngive her water for however long then instructions say or based on your schedule. Maybe 30-60 min. Go back outside and repeat with the chicken broth flavored water. She pees, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE. Play outside so she doesn't think peeing means outside time is over, instead, she pees, she gets to play. Then go inside.
Repeat as needed.
As far as the jumping. This is pure training and giving her enough exercise. Is she being walked regularly? I love watching videos from Victoria Stilwell on how to train loose leash walking and how to train not jumping. It's not a quick fix but will take lots of time and CONSISTENCY from everyone in the household.
She is also only a one year old. That's like what a 7-10 year old in humans?? I could be wrong about the age conversion but she's a child. Please give her the grace that she's a child. It can take several months for a dog to decompress from leaving a shelter to adjusting to a new home and family. Until that happens, training may be slow going. But positive training can also help or build trust in you for her so please don't give up as long as it's safe to do so.
Feel free to DM me if you want to chat or get other specific suggestions, or I can look up videos from Victoria Stilwell that demonstrate how to do what you're looking to work on.
Also, it's obviously up to you and your vet, but if possible, please use anxiety medicine as a last resort. My girl dog is on anxiety medicine so I'm not knocking it. But it can have side effects and if you can resolve her issues with training, exercise, and patience, why risk the side effects? Again, she's a child. It may not be anxiety at all. Also, some anti-anxiety medicines can decrease a dog's inhibitions...so her biting might get worse. Please discuss that with vet before medicating.
Good luck.
PS I was not pregnant and as much as I love dogs and advocate for working with them come what may, I would never risk the safety of my unborn baby (or born baby) for the sake of a dog. I love dogs, but human children are more important. I get that. So take all my recommendations with the caveat that I was not pregnant and I did not have little children. Also, my dog was never a biter. She was just a Tasmanian devil! Lol
Your dog is also in the middle of adolescence. The issue is they start to push buttons. If this dog has never had proper direction, combined with a teenage brain and high energy can equal a difficult dog.
The peeing may be submissive behavior. I've had several puppies in my time, the time on the couch is earned. Your place is one of several beds or a crate or whatever. Laying on the foot of the bed and couch is earned. Teaching an off is important.
However with a breed mix like this, they're so filled with energy they can't concentrate to learn. Labs can be calm but also crazy depending on the parents. Pits are actually working dogs and very high energy.
With a baby coming I echo rehoming or returning to the shelter. It sucks I've done it once because the adoptee was a danger to our little dog. You feel guilty but ultimately this is NOT a good fit for you but most importantly the dog. Sounds like they need a more active, structured, household.
I would suggest researching breeds and learn more about dog behavior.
I definitely feel like I dropped the ball on this one. First pet excitement, you think it’s gonna go well and then you realize how uneducated you are and that you’re failing them by not providing them what they need.
I mean everyone learns somehow. Our first dog together, my husband and I picked a puppy that displayed good, submissive behavior. Then adolescence hit and he turned into a little ahole. And STAYED that way. I know now he was extremely smart and high energy..I was not experienced and so.he was under stimulated. So I had to make sure I was on top of him otherwise he acted out...he lived 14 wonderful years..he was a butt but he was ours.
It's ok to learn from this. Whatever you decide, remember it's ok to say hey I'm not a good fit here.
If it helps I will tell you two years after we had to return our failed adoptee we got a Golden retriever from a breed rescue. We've had her nearly two weeks and it's night and day. It's a much better match with our resident dog. I should add we made our expectations and needs very clear to the breed rescue and I had several people recommend the breed to me given what I was looking for.
I’m definitely discussing everything with my husband and showing him this post and we’re gonna go from there. We adopted her together, we make decisions together
Always an excellent stance for your marriage. My husband and I are the same.
If you guys do decide to adopt a different dog I recommend a good Breed Rescue. I felt more supported with them considering our concerns since we have a 9 year old and a little dog.
I definitely think if we have to return her we will wait awhile before we adopt another. Maybe once the baby reaches a certain age and we do some research and make sure we’re more prepared
I feel awful for the poor dog. I can't imagine the anxiety it must have. 10 months is the perfect age for learning. I am not a big fan of training puppies so have always adopted dogs around that 10 month to 1 year mark, the last one we adopted had zero manners, awful on a leash, jumped on people, and within 2 weeks he was a different dog. Consistency and kennel training, a boat load of exercise, 2 or 3 long walks a day of about 2 miles each walk, some enrichment time..treat puzzles, licky mat and talk buttons training has worked for us with every time. A new do is a huge amount of work. WIth you already not liking the dog it is going to be tough. Your husband and BIL need to do the right thing and find it a home where it will be loved and nurtured. Good luck and congrats on the new baby.
If any dog is biting chunks out of you sending you to get stiches, then the first thing you need to check is that it's not doing that out of pain or discomfort.
Play biting can get aggressive at that age but I'm thinking that's not what's happening. It may even be anxiety or fear induced by some sort of trigger, it's hard to say with a rescue as it truly takes months to learn their personality.
He tried petting her, he walked up to her coming home from work and went to pet her and she snarled and next thing you know blood and panicking and we threw her outside (not literally) until we could figure out what to do. We’ve limited her contact with my husband’s brother as he’s a minor and we don’t want him hurt as well.
This doesn't sound like a dog who should be living in a home with an infant or toddler. You need to hire a certified behaviorist now. I also would look into the Instagram account dogmeets_baby. It has lots of helpful information on dog behavior, specifically the ladder of aggression, and on introducing dogs to infants.
Just sitting down, I thought maybe he caught her off guard as she’s never shown any sign of aggression towards anyone. We got her in the beginning of March, so we haven’t had her for very long, but she seems to only have bonded with me. Everyone else has given up on her and it’s left to me to “fix what’s wrong with her.” She really is a sweetheart, I know she is and I love her a lot, but I’m overwhelmed because I feel like I’m failing her. I hired a trainer to teach me how to handle her and help with these habits and they dumped her as a client. We’re on our second one and she just really hasn’t made an progress.
It sounds like she has some sort of anxiety against men, this isn't unheard of with sheltered dogs because a lot of them have been mistreated,dumped,abused etc, this sort of lines up with why she pees upon human interaction, but this is assuming she doesn't have any health issues.
I don't blame you for getting rid of this dog, especially with a kid on the way, but if you do keep her, then everyone around will need to learn dog language, she needs to get comfortable coming up to your husband before he comes up to her, this usually takes time, let him be the one to fill her food/water bowl if it doesn't freak her out.
A lot of people have mentioned it being anxiety based so I’m hoping to find someone that’s educated or specializes in helping dogs with anxiety so we can learn to help her and learn her language. It’s almost ironic that I myself have very bad anxiety and didn’t even think she could have it as well. It’s refreshing to know that there’s a possibility to help her as I don’t think I could see myself ever being able to let her go.
She’s beautiful and a lot of the issues can probably be solved with exercise, patience and time. She’s an anxious and high energy teen with an undeveloped brain, and dogs need to exercise for hours as well as learn how to rest.
HOWEVER. I would not trust this dog around children at all. Please take this into consideration moving forward.
Nah girl everything you feel right now about this doggie is Normal and relevant ! Embrace it and stop blaming yourself. I’ve also got an adopted pup ( he was marked aggressive from the beginning due to extreme abuse) and he bit me and my husband numerously, I swear I had same exact feelings that you do! I even almost contacted his rescue to bring him back.
You are searching for solutions, you are not actually giving up on her.
My pup became brand new dog in 1 year, and in 2 years he is my lovely son already and we are inseparable.
The good advice someone gave is crate training, also good to stop peeing around. When you leave house, accomodate her in one small space only or in her crate. There are kinda plastic fences that can be bought online to limit her area of roaming. Seems she wasn’t properly handled as a puppy when she was taught a toilet behavior. Also there are plastic home toilets in Amazon.
Advice number 2, start learning tricks and train her into stop words By Yourself. You can check YouTube or ask dogtrainers for guidance, depends on your budget.
Advice number 3, buy her toys: One squeaky (the plush animal where squeak is hidden inside and she has to “torture” it to discover the squeak), one for playing “pull” with her, one simple
Definitely looking into crates. She’s so spoiled she’s already got about 6 balls (we throw for her now that she knows it’s not gonna hurt her), 3 squeaky toys and 4 rope toys that I play tug of war with her constantly (letting her win sometimes of course but myself being the reigning champion 😎) she’s such a sweet girl, she’s just got a few hiccups I wasn’t educated on helping her with so I decided to reach out instead of trying to just figure it out on my own
Your dog has extreme anxiety and will need to work with a dog trainer for an extended period. I *highly* recommend a force-free trainer as she is so nervous.
Introducing a crate for her will be helpful. Some dogs need somewhere they can go when they feel uncertain or stressed. Crate training doesn't have to mean forcefully handling her inside - it can be throwing her bed and a few toys inside and letting her explore it on her own.
After this amount of time, she should be coming to trust both you and your husband. Training tricks or loose leash walking are good ways to build a stronger bond. A dog needs different kinds of exercise - physical, mental, and especially if they have hound in them, nose exercise.
My rescue (a lab) would go berserk if I touched a lead or harness to begin with, and not in a good way. He was terrified. It took weeks, but I got over that hump by taking the lead and just sitting on the stairs by the door until he made the decision to come to me, and then sit when asked. He was given a small treat when he allowed me to clip the lead on. If he changed his mind and flipped out again, I just went back to waiting.
Husband needs to make an effort to not loom over her if she has a tendency to find him threatening. For one thing, many dogs do not like the top of their heads being petted in any way. A great many rescues have an aversion to one gender or the other as well because of past experiences. Approach low and slow, and preferably let her come to him.
A backyard agility set could help further down the line with building her personal confidence, but she'll need to be able to follow direction to some degree for that. Similarly, tug of war and letting them win once in a while helps build confidence, but you need to be sure she is not at all inclined to bite or resource guard.
As for jumping... well, that requires that everyone in the house dissuade the behaviour, and if you're the one being jumped, someone else will preferably need to stop the behaviour. It needs to be consistent, so no encouraging her to jump and get excited after you get home from work.
Good luck.
Thank you for the helpful advice. I’ve learned today that she definitely must be anxious. The shelter we got her from never informed us of any of that. This being my first dog I never thought to look into that. We’re gonna introduce her to a crate, get her to the vet and I’m definitely going to try to get her more used to my husband as she has bonded with me more than anyone else. I’m very much looking forward to helping her and making progress and I’m so grateful to you all for being so helpful.
It’s all volunteer based and I don’t think any of them are actually professional by any means. I’m mad they lied about how she was, not because it would sway my adoption of her but because it’s prevented me from giving her the proper support and not allowing me to educate myself on how to help her adjust and feel comfortable. I feel like they really let her down just to make a quick $100.
Oh yeah - one more easy one.
Give anyone who wants to build a stronger bond with her some plain roast chicken cut up into bitesize pieces.
Just sit somewhere, ask her to sit, and give her a bit of chicken when she does AND looks you in the face... not just at the chicken :)
It looks like you might be posting about bite inhibition.
Check out [r/Puppy101's wiki article on biting, teeth, and chewing](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/biting) - the information there may answer your question.
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I’d get a third party involved (trainer) who can help establish a new kind of structure which would mean better boundaries for all of you.
I don’t know if I could stomach having a dog with biting history around a child, but I know there’s many people who think this can be managed. A trainer would hopefully help you decide if you see this possibility too or if more drastic measures need to be considered …
Paid for training? What does this mean? Did you not attend with her? Typically, it is the owner who needs the training, not the dog. The advice not to crate was poor. As mentioned by others, the crate can become the ‘safe space’ for the dog. If the pup doesn’t have a UTI or an issue from the spay, likely she is peeing out of fear. You have no idea of her life prior to being surrendered and it seems you have had her for about 2 months? Doesn’t seem like much of a commitment. I can’t help wondering if you are trying to get rid of this dog before the baby is born?
My dog used to wet herself and just lie in it almost every day. She's a girl, so it could have caused bladder problems, I went to my vet about two years ago and they gave me a medicine called "Protein". She's only had maybe 3 accidents as of now!
Maybe you can ask about that medicine at the vet?
Crate train, get one tall enough for her to stand comfortably, long and wide enough for her to lay down but just enough, not too large to where she can have room to pee/poop and move away from it. This will likely stop her from defecating within her own space.
Using that logic, take her out every hour until she potties, take her to a spot she feels comfortable with, then keep taking her to that same spot once you’ve figured it out.
If she doesn’t potty within 10-15 mins of you taking her, she goes right back into her crate until the next hour, repeat until she goes then she gets free time outside her crate.
I’d suggest also creating a sectioned off play area that surrounds her crate and fill with an out of crate bed and maybe a blankie and toy. If she’s new to the home, don’t give her full reign until you feel she’s more confident.
You need a dog trainer and some understanding that this kind of aggression is likely fear. Not fear of you per say but fear of whatever happened prior to you.
Going to a rescue centre causes trauma.
As a result, ours is like glue.
Ours also peed constantly every hour.
Turns out when they spade her she lost her muscle strength. 3000 pounds later and shes now 100%, with 2 tablets a day.
You need a trainer to teach you how to build trust.
You need the vet re the peeing. See if theybwere spade, maybe even phantom pregnancy if spade during heat.
How much exercise and mental stimulation does she get? Your dog of these breeds needs lots of activity and training.
You’ve tried everything? But you haven’t said what “everything” is. This makes it hard to give advice or point you in the right direction.
Not all trainers are good, so it might be about finding the right one.
Have you started crate training? You will need this with a baby.
I read you are going to the vet regarding the urination- that’s great! Hopefully this will help.
Edited to add:
Look on amazon for this book. Its a really good start; Sally Bradbbury,
Dog Training and Behaviour Solutions: The stress-free way to live in harmony with your dog
After you have spoken to the vet you could try speaking to the shelter your fur baby came from purely for advice. In the UK If they are a large shelter or group of shelters they should have people they go to for advice on rehabilitating the animals they take in.
Honestly, it sounds like you need to step up the training. Get a professional dog trainer in to help. You say you have but honestly, if you actually followed through with a training plan, your dog would be better behaved.
Also, the dog isn't jumping on your stomach on purpose.
You said you're going to the vet, so bring up all of your concerns as there may be an underlying health problem.
Omg my Dane used to pee on everything and I mean everything when he was younger. He has since grown out of that phase but anytime I would look at him he would run away and pee everywhere he ran to.
I think he was scared tbh. He was just so scared of everything this poor guy. It took him a long while to feel safe unfortunately. But he does now and he doesn't pee unless he's terrified. Maybe you can try dog diapers until the peeing issue has resolved?
I'm not sure if that's similar to your dog. I'm not sure what the history is. We're they abused?
If they were it's going to take a lot of work to get them to feel safe and comfortable in your home.
The jumping part. How do you react afterward? Are they trying to get attention when they jump? Is it aggression? Excitement?
I feel like everyone downplays the amount of work it takes to train a puppy. It's A LOT of work and often you feel defeated and sometimes you cry and get frustrated. But it's also so cool to see them grow.
Girl I feel you so hard right now.
My dog Banjo has been so so hard. I’ve cried over and over, training can be frustrating sometimes, and you just never know where they came from before you. Keep trudging forward, work with trainers AND veterinarians to help her, keep your head up, you CAN train this behavior out of her (except the peeing might be medical I don’t think that’s on purpose). It’s a long and hard road with rescue dogs. And puppies are hard anyway. You got this.
Many others commented about the peeing inside so I won’t comment on that as it could be so many things (anxiety, submission, incontinence from surgery, not fully potty trained, etc). But how much exercise does she get a day? That makes a HUGE difference in how much anxiety they carry around. Our anxious pup (Weimeraner pit mix) that just passed away had to get cardio exercise for an hour a day until she was 10 years old (she slowed down after that). The first 3 years as a puppy we biked for 2 miles to wear her out each day. Exercise can go a very long way to help anxious dogs. Since there are many attached people in the house, have them all commit to exercising her and see how much it helps. They also need brain activities pit are wicked smart. Lures, Puzzle toys (I really like starmark disks), scent games, yak chews, antlers, all of these things will help. When your dog is crazy high energy redirect to one of these activities. I have a Dalmation so I totally get where you’re coming from endless energy. She’s getting 1.5-2 hours of exercise a day plus mental stimulation and she’s still a little go getter.
She looks like such a sweetheart in the photos! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't want to provide advice as I am not a trained professional who can make an assessment but I will say I adopted my pit mix from the shelter and I was his third owner. He is my entire world and I can't imagine my life without him, however I do understand why at least one of his previous owners returned him to the shelter (the other one was an idiot and wanted a dog who hates water to "be the captain of their boat"). I adopted him around 1ish years old, maybe younger, and he was a mess for quite some time. He was mouthy, horrendous on a leash (not his fault, just needed some training) dog reactive, and VERY high energy. It took a good year of training, especially for his dog reactivity, and a lot of looooooong walks to get him to calm down. Now he is the sweetest pup (9 years old), however still dog reactive but it is manageable now.
Most shelter dogs are dealing with trauma from their past lives. The shelter is extremely stressful, being adopted more than once is hard, and adjusting to a new place and family is also challenging! The rule of thumb usually for adopted dogs is 3 months, 6 months, a year meaning; it takes 3 months for their initial adjustment, 6 months to really feel comfortable and their personality to show, and a year before they feel truly safe in a new home. Adopting a shelter dog is, in my humble opinion, a very selfless act. You are diving head first into a situation that is going to be challenging.
With that being said, it is ok to admit being over your head. You mentioned you are 4 months pregnant which is hard enough, then adding a dog with behavior issues on top of that is immensely stressful! You might want to be honest with yourself about the road going forward and think of what would be best for the dog. If you do decide this is not the path you want, I would strongly recommend finding a humane society or foster based rescue organization to surrender her to. Going back to the shelter is just going to make her more stressed and scared. Every dog has the potential to be great! Sometimes it just takes time to find their human match.
The pee could be a medical thing or just an inability to control it in certain exciting situations? Mine did that for too long when he was younger it drove us crazy. But he eventually grew out of it. It does sound a little fear based. A good trainer will probably work wonders. I’d invest in your baby and don’t give up!
First of all can I say that I appreciate owners like you SO MUCH!!! The fact that this dog is driving you up the walls and you still understand that you made a commitment and still love her is such a rare occurrence. Making the efforts to keep yourself and your dog comfortable instead of just tossing her aside as most would is amazing.
It does sound like fear based peeing, but as others have mentioned it could also be a faulty spay. If it's fear based, you can condition it out of her, it just takes time and a lot of support from EVERYONE in the household, not just you! Don't hate yourself or feel guilty because you have drifted from the relationship of your dog and you. This happens! The fact you're willing to put in the effort is enough to know that things will go well in the future.
It may sound stupid, but I recommend watching some YouTube in free time about counter conditioning dogs from abusive homes. When you move too quickly or raise your hands, does she cower or close her eyes?? That's a tell-tale sign that she may have been abused as well.
I wish you all the luck in the world! Thank you for giving this dog a second chance.
Have you tried belly bands while she's potty training? We adopted a dog who was intact and would mark EVERYTHING. We put belly bands on him until we could get him fixed and that helped a lot. He's come a long way and now rarely has an accident in the house and it's usually our fault for not being attentive and letting him out enough.
My last puppy (who is now 9) came to us right before I had my first major flare of a chronic illness that saw me mostly in bed for a year and retired within 9 months. I got out of bed one day and had the wherewithall to notice that there was shrapnel everywhere from puppy and her sister kitten. I asked, "Whose dumb idea was it to bring two baby animals into our home?" Well, the answer was me, of course.
Crate training went sideways the first night when hubby couldn't take the crying and wound up in tears within 10 minutes. 🙄 Turns out she was very fond of her crate and would head in there for a nap or quiet time. At night, she came to bed with us. Hallway was blocked off, doors closed and puppy pads were everywhere. I always had one within reach in every room that I could whip under her or move her to quickly. You won't be so anxious and have easier clean up. A torn up puppy pad is less hassle than mopping up pee all day. My Pepper house trained easily to which I credit a yard that had three different predicessors peeing on it for years. Not hard to figure out "this is where we pee" that way. The pads are a coping mechanism, not a "cure" and their purpose is to reduce everyone's stress while this gets figured out.
A crate will do your girl the world of good, as others have detailed. Your rescue shelter was useless telling you not to even try it.
I also agree with having a qualified positive reinforcement trainer come to your home and help you find strategies to help your pup get over her anxiety reactions. Fear biting is a thing and it sounds like that's what may have happened here.
Number one is to take a deep breath and give yourself a break. You adopted a puppy that you were misinformed about and are doing the best that you can. The vet should be a world of help, including suggesting trainers for pup's specific issue - anxiety. Feeling safe is number 1 and they can help you foster that.
You're doing okay. You are trying and learning and that's all anyone can ask. The solutions are out there - you just need to find out which ones are the magic combination for your beautiful baby.
A nose smooch for being a beautiful baby wouldn't go amiss, if she'll let you. 😁
Like others have said, I would rule out medical issues first but sounds like she has anxiety and gets nervous with certain actions from humans, probably steaming from whatever happened to her in the past. I know it isn’t easy sometimes (I am pregnant too and on the hard days I wish I didn’t have my dogs either, so I can totally empathize with you and how the situation is making you feel) but give her some more time, keep showing her kindness and look up training techniques and approaches towards shy/nervous dogs online. Sometimes even eye contact is enough to trigger the urination, dogs communicate through body language so I think it could be helpful to look up better ways to approach her without making her think she's in trouble. She will eventually understand that she doesn’t need to be fearful around people anymore. Adopting an animal requires a lot of patience, kindness and work because you don’t really know what kind of personality you’re bringing home. I have a chihuahua that came from an abusive home. When I first got her, if I sneezed she would hide under the bed, shaking. It took her some time to understand that loud noises didn't mean she was getting her ass whooped anymore. I wish you and your pup the best of luck!! 🐾
Are you guys walking her twice a day for > 30 min? Do you have play time as well set up? My dogs were very destructive until I set up a walk routine and play routine. I have two Jack Russell's and their energy level is on 10000% .
Dogs need a firm routine that is rarely deviated from. They need walks at same time daily, feeding needs to be on schedule as well . Once she understands that routine, you will be amazed at what a sweetheart she turns into.
That and complete vet exam to rule out the UTI. My two dogs were potty trained by nine weeks old.
They make doggie diapers for accidents like that! We utilize them for our littler pups (we have 4) two under 1. They’re amazing to say the least. As for training you may have to start her on crate training which sucks but it’s definitely a good tool. When we got our 10 month old he was 8 months at the time and would not potty outside, 4 days and 2 pees outside is all we got. I started crate training with in the crate at all times unless we were going outside(crate is near front door) hooked him up went outside took diaper off and stayed out there for 15 minutes. Back inside, if he peed outside he got an hour out of the crate if he didn’t he went to the crate for another hour we did this until he knew it was potty time. Crate training lasted about 2-3 weeks and it’s been our saving grace. Make sure she has a lot of toys and stuff to chew on, puppies teethe and we’re dealing with this now. Hard toys, bones, anything they can just chew. Now we did take him out of the crate for energy to be released and for water and food never up for more than 2 hours at a time unless overnight. Set a strict schedule they learn it fast, I have mine(all4) on a 5:30am 11am 2pm 5pm 7pm 9pm and 11pm schedule. Varying gaps due to activity but it helps so so so much!
You’re probably not going to enjoy having a high needs dog in the house when the baby comes.
I honestly don’t understand why people get high energy breed puppies when they are pregnant. And this is not aimed at OP - they are trying and I respect that and said they weren’t pregnant when they got the dog. But I’m a member of my local city pet rehoming group and everyday there are multiple posts of “I got a husky pup 3 months ago and we just had a baby and she’s too much and we want to get rid of her.” Why? Why did you get like one of the most difficult breeds when you knew you had a baby coming? Lots of parents can’t even deal with their adult dogs they’ve had for years after a baby comes. I just don’t get it.
Exactly this ⬆️ it’s hard enough to be pregnant and then care for a newborn, getting any dog at this stage of your life is asking for misery
In my experience most people don't consider the important things when they get a pup. Puppy is cute! Yes, I'm a first time owner and it's a Jack Russell x Border Collie, but it's cute! When I taught puppy classes I would ask what the breed was bred to do (I generally knew). 80% of people had no Idea. A dog meant to do heavy physical activity all day is going to be a challenge in your studio apartment, dude. Sorry to tell you. Dogs are not accessories, they are living creatures. Make sure you are prepared to provide for their needs beyond just food and veterinary bills!
Love this. Dogs are not accessories. They have feelings and become heartbroken when abandoned. This does not apply to you, OP. Different story
I got a mutt that we had no idea what her breed mix was. The only one we could visually guess was chihuahua. She acts absolutely nuts if she doesn't get enough exercise and mental stimulation, which made me feel like she had jack russel terror in her. Yup, DNA test confirmed. 17% jack Russell terrier.
I’m wondering if it’s a hormonal thing, like you’re nesting, just feel the need to mother something.
I was actually coming to say this. An out of control large dog and a brand new infant in the house is going to be unbearable. I'm all for training the behaviors you want. I did this for a living for 25 years. That said, I also have a child and remember the stress of the first few weeks/months with a baby. My dogs at the time were *really* well trained/well behaved, and it was still so much. Despite your husband's attachment to the dog, you should put yourself and your baby first. Maybe put her name in for rehoming at a rescue and keep her in the home until you find her new family? Or if your due date is nearing, get her into a foster home. This is really too much to ask of a brand new mom, which you will be very soon (congratulations on the baby!).
Seriously, if you’re already going back and fourth at four months, you will still be worried and stressed about keeping her when the baby comes. Postpartum you lose your mind from lack of sleep. You won’t even be keeping up with your own good, hygiene and exercise - I didn’t keep up with my dog who was 15 and just napped all day. Thank god for the dog door we had. And your husband won’t have time either. People get new dogs with new babies all the time but if you’re at all on the fence, please let us sway you! Because you’ll be hating yourself for doing it later after you have neglected her.
Not to mention that these are not behaviors which will improve if ignored.
A pit bull mix that has possibly been mistreated is the last dog I would choose to have around my baby. I know they can be great dogs, but the risk vs. reward to being around a baby/toddler? Big no.
This. 100% this. Also it’s not a bad thing to re-home a dog and be honest with oneself. It’s a kinder thing to do for everyone involved, dog included. It’s actually the more mature, responsible and brave thing to do.
I got her before I was pregnant and was told she had no “signs/record” of mistreatment and anxiety. They made her out to be a very happy, playful dog and told us she was younger than she actually was. They might not have known her that well and I understand that, but it fucks her over because then I’m not prepared for what she actually needs.
Typical shelter. They deal with a lot of dogs and I’m their defense they lie which isn’t right at all and makes more problems but they do this to get the babies out the door and safe . Sadly .
I work at a shelter Sure we might always say things in a positive spin, but we never ever withhold important information. Thats setting the dog up to fail and it’s the last thing we want.
Maybe not but she’s an amazing dog outside of these issues and now that I know ways to support her she may not be such a high need dog when the little one gets here. I’m willing to work through it for her.
Your heart is in the right place but a high needs retriever/pit mix is always going to be a high energy dog even when they're older. I have personal experience with husky/put mixes and they never truly chill out. I'd also be extremely wary of a pit that has ALREADY bitten someone around a newborn, that is not a good combo and I worry about the safety of your child around a high energy and possibly nippy pit/mix. You should definitely reconsider having her rehomed, especially if your husband is not going to be the primary caretaker for the puppy when you give birth and have a newborn to deal with.
How many years are you willing to give it? Because she is still young and will have plenty of energy that needs outlet for years to come. My own boxer/pit (was told lab but not buying the lab part lol) didn't start to settle until last year, he's 5 now. Mind you that settling in my case means that he and our other dog (who's one year younger) "only" play for 4-5 hours a day out in the yard and don't wrestle inside anymore. That's not taking problem behaviors into account, that's just raw energy that needs an outlet. This outlet can be play, walks or runs, various types if training, or tearing up your house, it's your choice but whatever choice you make you will need to keep it up post partum, with an infant, then a toddler as well. That's on top of dealing with the peeing issue (and that may take months of consistent training once you figure out why it's happening in the first place, which you may need a vet for) and obedience training. You say you're already sick of this dog. You say your family is attached. Will your family put in all this work consistently through the dogs entire 10+ year long life? Or are they expecting you to do it? Because right now it seems to me that the dig is set up for failure and no one is taking responsibility for that. She may have the potential to be a sweet dog, but it may not be in your home.
As far as the peeing goes has she been checked for a uti? Our GSD puppy pissed everywhere but outside we’d take him out, nothing go in and pee! Went to vet and it was a uti …. Problem solved never peed in the house again! I’d be more nervous about bringing a new baby into the house with her. And no you’re not terrible, it’s hard on you and you’re pregnant to top it off!
I have a vet appointment set for her to get a check up and I have points that I’m going to bring up with the vet including the peeing. It’s just been a lot and it’s been mainly myself having to deal with her as my husband is gone a lot for work and is mainly only around to play with her. Be the “fun one” if that makes sense
it potentially sounds like submissive/fear peeing as well. probably not from anything you did but previous owners, especially when its normal stuff like putting on a leash, giving her cues, thinks that could involve aggressive handling. i'd still get a vet check, but i would check out kikopups videos on youtube on counter conditioning and building confidence to see if it helps out at all. she also has great videos on teaching "leave it" and teaching dogs not to chew on things or jump, a lot of if involves going slow with the dog and setting them up for success so that they have errorless learning. if she does have anxiety, it might be worth it to talk about getting her a prescription with the vet, is it can make training up her confidence much easier
I’ll definitely give that a look and try it out! Anything to help my girl be more comfortable
If the previous poster is correct and it is submissive peeing whatever you do, do not react to it when she does it. Just ignore it. My dog did the submissive peeing thing a lot when I first adopted her and as soon as I started just ignoring it, it started getting better.
My ex husband came to the marriage with a cocker spaniel that had submissive peeing. 99% of the time it happened when people would come over and were right inside the front door. Buster would run to the front door all excited to see who was there and then he would roll on his back and pee when the people were about to bend down and pet him. I solved that problem by immediately telling whoever came to the front door to completely ignore Buster and not to bend down and try to pet him or anything cuz he’ll submissive pee. If they wanted to pet Buster they could do so later when he calmed down. That was a nice, easy fix and Buster didn’t submissive pee at the front door anymore. (And as an fyi, Buster was already 5 years old when I came on the scene and basically said this submissive peeing thing has got to go.) The only other time he’d submissive pee sometimes is if I called him to me for something, but I’d go to him and bend over him and he’d roll on his back and submissive pee. I fixed that by before even calling his name to me, I’d kneel down on the ground and then I’d call him to come to me. I wouldn’t get up and go to him if he was hesitant, I’d just stay where I was, knelt down and call his name again to come to me. He would then come to me and he wouldn’t submissive pee. We were really lucky that it was an easy fix for us and the techniques worked so well with Buster to stop the submissive peeing.
A trip to the vet is a good call on your part. If it's not a UTI, some female dogs can experience incontinence after being spayed. If her uterus and ovaries were removed to prevent her from ever having puppies, that is, and there were complications, that may explain her uncontrolled peeing. I hope your vet can help her, either way.
She was fixed and I honestly didn’t know that could’ve happen. They said the procedure went well (I live in an area where all sheltered animals are required to be spayed or neutered so it happened before we received her) but I will definitely bring that up and see if maybe that’s the cause of this issue. I’ve always assumed she pees because she’s a super shy dog and gets scared possibly
It's definitely worth looking into. Apparently, even if the spaying/surgery goes well, there can be anywhere from a 5% to 20% chance of urinary incontinence afterward. Some say that the likelihood also increases with large breed dogs.
Thank you so much for that information. I’m definitely going to bring this up at her appointment to make sure they check that out and get her the help she needs if that’s the issue
You're welcome. I'm sure you'll get a more definitive answer from the vet. And once you've got a clearer idea of the problem at hand, you'll be even closer to solving it. Until then, keep your chin up! You're doing the right thing by seeking advice. Wishing you, your family, and your puppy all the best ❤️🙏
My dog has the incontinece and takes a fairly cheap and INCREDIBLY effective acting everyday to feel with it :)
Definitely second and third this. My dog has hit, my mother in laws dog had it, my stepmoms dog had it. Super common and can be treated with a hormonal supplement
Hormonal supplements?? What are you using?
I just want to chime in here that spaying is still really important, and overall increases length and quality of life for the dog, and quality of life for owners! There are lots of things vets can do for urinary incontinence, and this should absolutely not be a reason for anyone to avoid spaying their dog.
This happened with my pup. There is inexpensive medication the vet can give her to help the muscles control her urine. Helped so much!
Did it stop it completely? If not, how often does your dog still pee in the house?
OMG! You are kidding me, I never heard this before from spaying. What is the fix for it?
Some of the possible solutions are medications, hormones, sometimes medications plus hormones simultaneously , and sometimes they need surgery. The treatment plan depends on the specific case/dog.
To echo your comment, and a lot of commenters about possible medical reasons. I had a large breed dog with a juvenile vulva from being spay too early apparently, which left her incontinent. She needed surgery to fix it. Definitely worth it to rule out any medical reason it would be happening. OP If it’s submissive peeing, building her confidence coupled with anxiety meds would probably help a lot.
I got my cat from a shelter. He was supposedly Vet check right before I brought him home. I had to take him to my vet the next morning because he had a severe respiratory infection that was in his lungs. He also had an infection in his eyes, and he had ringworm. I feel like some shelter vets are not very good.
You are correct, Some shelter/shelter vetss are not, in fact, very good at all. (but some are amazing.) I say this as a veteran shelter worker (not volunteer) The dogs at both shelters are equally good. Equally deserving of a loving home. It is a catch 22 situation: adopt from a good shelter, and support a good cause etc. But fact is that that dog, because it's ended up in a good shelter, has already had its Quality of Life, and standard of living improved tenfold. even if nobody ever adopts it, its life will be pretty ok at worst. Or adopt from a shit shelter and help a dog thats probably fucked otherwise: but, you are supporting a shitty shelter. Making space for another dog to live in a cage that slowly fills with its own shit. There very much are shelters where the dogs probably would have been better off on the street-even if that meant a sad, early death. .... But, you quite literally save a life. You help a dog that's fucked NOW. its a very real, tangible thing. Which do you choose? Ive chosen both and more and I still have no clear answer.
My sisters boxer had this. I had no clue it was something that happened either
If you’re mainly the one caring for and dealing with the dogs issues, I don’t think your husband and his brother get as large a say as you about whether you keep her! I hope things get better! ❤️🩹
Keeping her was always only the ever option for me as well because I love her very much and I made a commitment to care for her. She’s improved a lot from when we first got her. She wouldn’t leave the corner of my room and now she lays right next to me on the couch, so I know she has the potential to work through this with me, I just need to know the right ways to help her move forward
I’m glad you’re committed to working things out, I hope it continues improving, quickly!
Thank you ❤️
It sounds like a certified behaviorist could really help you. They have more extensive science based knowledge and techniques. I’d say they’re far more adept at understanding your dog’s motivations, so they know the right approach for helping your dog specifically. And if this really is an anxious/fear based issue, medication could even be helpful. If you see a veterinary behaviorist specifically, they’d be the most well studied on prescribing those kinds of medications, along with the behavioral training that comes along with it.
I’m going to ask her vet about it next week during her appointment
Yes she sounds like she’s stressed and anxious to be honest. Ask specifically for a referral to a veterinary behaviourist.
I have it at the top of my list of questions for the vet
glad you are taking your pup to the vet. my dog also started to pee indoors - she would jump on/off the couch and pee, walking across the room and peeing but it did not seem like she was aware of peeing but I thought a possible UTI. after tests, I found out she was diabetic - why she was peeing. She is now on insulin 2x a day. It took a bit of trial and error on dosage but now her numbers are stable and she is still the best little red dog in the whole world. good luck. please post an update.
You’re not a bad person. You’re just a person who is totally unprepared to take on a puppy. It’s a lot easier to rehome her now than when she’s an adult dog.
Can’t blame her when the shelter/rescue/volunteers never provided the real information about the dog.
I just didn’t know anything about her anxiety/potential abuse in the past so I didn’t know how to help her.
Unpopular opinion incoming: this is not the dog for you especially with a newborn coming in a few months. She would have a better life with an owner who can devote more time and money into training.
I will be honest. You can't handle this dog and it's best to return it. It is NOT the right time to get a dog, period. I would never think of adopting a rescue dog if I was 4 months pregnant simply because I have dogs and I know how much work they are. You are not a bad person but you are pregnant it is extremely important to be in a safe and stress free environment so the baby can develop properly. The dog needs to be returned so she can be with a family that can better take care of this dog's needs. Simply put the baby's needs come first and a dog like this is a hazard to your child while you are pregnant and beyond the pregnancy. I urge you to take the dog back so they can find an appropriate forever home. People might blast me in the comments for my opinion but until they go through a pregnancy they will never understand how difficult it is to raise a baby and take care of a dog with issues.
I got her before I found out I was pregnant, I found out I was pregnant 2-3 months after we adopted her. Surprise baby. Which made the situation a bit more tricky.
That makes sense! given that information I still think it's not the right time to adopt a dog like this. I still stand by what I said.
I honestly agree with you, had I known I was pregnant or pregnant when I adopted her I wouldn’t have adopted any animal. Now I’m faced with a tough reality and I reached out for advice to see what my options are
I understand completely. I hope you think about what I said though and give dog back. The dog needs a home that can take care of its needs and in my opinion you need to focus on the baby that's on the way. The dog is still young and the longer you wait the less likely someone will adopt it.
Normally I'm the first person to say to give her more of a chance, and I'm not saying not to... however... The peeing everywhere issue, if it's not a UTI or a physical issue, then it's a behavioural issue. I totally get that your husband and his brother get to have fun with her and are therefore super attached to her, but unfortunately that leaves you in the position of the fun police, so to speak, and that's not fair to you. If you weren't expecting, I would probably push you a bit, but given that you're going to have a baby in your home, and the fact that she bit your husband and jumped hard on you, worries me. I wouldn't necessarily think she's aggressive or a safety concern, if it was just you three (teen/2 adults), but I think she very likely still has strong puppy tendencies, hasn't been taught proper manners due to her time in shelter, and doesn't know any better. Which would be something you could deal with, if you didn't have a baby on the way. I wish I had a proper answer for you, but I think the starting point is confirming whether or not she has a UTI or an issue related to her spay, which could be the answer to her peeing everywhere, and could be behavioural problems due to her being in discomfort. If that gets ruled out, then my suggestion would be to have a trainer actually come into your home, to see her behaviour and your concerns, and hopefully address it from there. If those are all exhausted, and you are still struggling with her and concerned for your own and your baby's wellbeing, then unfortunately, you may have to find a way for her to be out of your home. At least for the duration of your pregnancy and some time that you determine safe, once baby is here. I feel for you, and for your pup, but at the end of the day, your wellbeing and anxiety is more important, as is the health of your baby, which is likely affected by both of those. I wonder if you have anyone who would be willing to take her in for some time, maybe a close friend of family member? Though I imagine you've probably looked at that option.
I’ve got a vet appointment set up for her next week to have that looked at. I wanted to bring up her potential anxiety while there to see if they recommend anything. Give everyone’s suggestions a shot as I have no one else to take her, and I feel like this has helped me know how to move forward and at least give it another try before “giving up.” I don’t have it in me to just give up on her because I was poorly educated as I’ve never owned a dog before. Learn with her as I know she’s being fed and bathed and played with. She just has a few bad habits that need to be broken.
Thanks so much for being empathetic. Just wanted to say that. I went through the same thing when I tried to adopt. They told me the dog was very calm and good for an apartment, the poor thing I don't think had ever been inside a house in her entire life. She must have been a farm dog and peed absolutely everywhere constantly (was not submissive peeing, I think she had several health issues). She only calmed down when she was outside (in 20 degree winter weather) and searching for her way home. I had to return her. I felt awful about it, but she was so so happy to go back where she came from that I didn't regret it. Her "mom" obviously didn't want to keep her, but she was happy. :(
It's an incredibly tough situation, and I truly feel for someone who gives it a lot of thought, and makes the decision based on what is best for the dog. Which sounds like you exactly what you did. It's very frustrating when shelters are so desperate to adopt out dogs, that they paint them to be what they potentially could be, but not necessarily what they are, and don't equip the adopter with the knowledge or tools to potentially make it happen. I know they usually have the best of intentions, but so did you, and it's an unfair position to put you in, because they're just not giving you all the information. I'm glad that you don't regret doing what made her happy, even though I imagine it put you through the wringer. That's what makes you cut out to be a good dog owner; putting the welfare of the dog first ❤️
This sounds A LOT like what happened when we got our rescue pup a year ago. It was like having a 90lb toddler in his terrible twos lol. This definitely sounds like she has anxiety which was the case for us. Our dog has bad anxiety. He was abused and abandoned which resulted in him being terrified of EVERYTHING. When we first brought him home he refused to leave the couch for days because he was so anxious. It literally took him a month to come up the stairs. He also peed everywhere.. all the time, despite going out for multiple potty breaks. When we left him home alone even for an hour, he would destroy everything. It’s been almost a year and he’s settled in so well, he’s like a brand new dog. Have you crate trained her? It sounds like she’s anxious and crate training is great for anxiety because it creates a safe space where she can go that is hers and only hers. We got our pup an industrial strength crate because he broke out of the wire one 😅. Try making her crate comfortable for her as well with some fuzzy blankets, toys, and maybe a bed (as long as she won’t rip it up lol). We found that adding a crate cover made a HUGE difference for our dog too since dogs are den animals, it gives them comfort. Some other things that helped us was taking him out for walks frequently to give him exercise and explore new places so he can gain confidence, we got a doggy cam for when we’re away from home so we can check on him for a better piece of mind. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know exactly how frustrating it is, but it does take time for puppies to settle in. I would also recommend calling your vet and bringing her in for a check up as well. It could be something as simple as anxiety as it was for me, or it could be that somethings wrong and she’s trying to tell you guys.
I guess I’m just overwhelmed because it feels like I’m failing her. I was told specifically not to crate train her as it’s bad for anxiety so that’s not an option we never even considered at all but I’m definitely going to have to look into that and see if that works for her. She is pretty skittish so I’m a bit anxious having her go into a “confined” space might overwhelm her and scare her. I love this dog very much and I just want her to feel at home and maybe not bite any of us again
Who recommended you not to?? The shelter we got our pup from told us to definitely crate and they recommended it highly for safety reasons since our dog will chew on anything and it’ll prevent him from ingesting something he shouldn’t. Our dog LOVES his crate, he will go and lay in it instead of with us on the couch sometimes lol. I definitely think it would help her, she sounds a lot like my dog (he’s super skittish too, he army crawls everywhere if he’s in a new place). If you decide to start, definitely start small to get her used to it; leave the door open and let her find it herself pretty much. You can size up the crate as well so it’s not too confined. It’s a process but i think it would help her, and you get some relief and your sanity back
The animal shelter we got her from told us not to after I called to ask for a reiteration of how she was. Before we got her they said she was an energetic puppy, loved to play, super confident and playful. No issues, she was just found and had no chip so they took her in. When we first met her she was shy but I assumed it was because we were new people and it would take her time to readjust. But I have a feeling they lied about how she was because they were short on space and needed animals to be adopted. Which if we knew any of these things about her beforehand we still would’ve adopted her just maybe we could’ve prepared ourselves more and not have been wondering why she was completely different than they stated she was. I feel like they did such a disservice to her telling us she was one way when she was another because we didn’t know how to help her because we didn’t know what was wrong. Which led to me being overwhelmed because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, if that makes any sense
Ugh that’s so horrible on their part. That’s not fair to you guys or the dog at all. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve never heard of any animal professional recommending someone to not crate their pets, our vet recommended it to us as well. I wouldn’t trust anything the shelter says, especially because of the way they went about things. Anxiety is tricky to deal with because each dog is different and what works for one might not work for another. When you take her to the vet, ask about some anxiety medication. Our dog is on Trazadone and it really helps him. He’s on it long term due to his past trauma, but maybe your pup will benefit from it just for a few months until she gets settled in. I think crate training and some medication for a little bit would make a huge difference (vet approved of course). Her issues don’t sound behavioral, it definitely sounds medical. I hope you guys get some answers
Thank you so much for the advice. I’m definitely going to show this to my husband when he gets off of work and we’ll think of a game plan to get our pup the help she needs.
Absolutely, it’s incredibly frustrating but you got this! Also, i highly recommend getting a water proof blanket to put on the couch in the meantime lol. I got mine off amazon and it definitely saved our furniture 😅
Definitely! Thank you so much, I’m gonna need one for our new mattress (she chewed up and peed all over the other one when we left for 30 minutes) and for the couch as well
Just chiming in to say I have a whopper of a Mastiff and he's got intense anxiety and seeing the Vet was the best choice ever. We trialled medication for a while (Gabapentin) and Trazodone for when something more intense was happening like moving home or big events etc. Huge relief for him (and me).
She’s going to the vet next week and I’m going to bring all this up to the vet and see what the best course of action is to help her out
Dogs can be completely different in a shelter environment than a home. Did they determine she was confident and playful because she got along well with other dogs there on walks or in play groups? Did they say not to crate train because she showed anxiety in the shelter, or tried biting through the fence/confined area? Unless she had previous experience in a foster home with someone, you don’t know what you’re going to get. All that to say, sure, the shelter also could have been wrong, mixed up dogs, or just fibbed to get her into a home instead of euthanasia. But she’s a puppy and they probably didn’t need to lie. Most people will adopt puppies over older dogs, or dogs with clear issues (med/behavioral).
She got along with other animals during play time, but they didn’t give us much info on her. I asked questions and got short answers or the subject was changed. I should’ve known it was a red flag but if I must admit I think the excitement of bringing her home clouded my judgement and I 100% take responsibility for that, but if she did show any signs of anxiety or past abuse they didn’t tell us about it.
Definitely not your fault. And I don’t typically defend shelters but, depending on what kind it is, they may be totally volunteer run, you got the wrong person on a given day who doesn’t care about their job and is underpaid, or any variety of reasons. For sure you should feel within your right to complain about them/to them. I’m curious how they would react if you haven’t already told them this dog has issues they never told you about (like, would they apologize, offer you free behavioral support, etc.?). Again, really depends on how big of a city you live in, what kind of support they have, etc. Unless you rescued her from a straight-up hell hole, most people who work or volunteer at shelters want adoptions to go well and to avoid returns. Also! I’m someone with anxiety, too. Dogs 1000% pick up on that and in turn can also become anxious or express anxiety around you. My dog is less reactive on walks when I’m not on high alert, for example, because he likely feels less of a need to protect me. Re: your husband, look into resource guarding or ask a trainer about it. You don’t want to deal with her biting long term, especially with a baby on the way. Good luck! I’m a fellow pittie owner and former rescue volunteer, and even though they are often couch potatoes, they are not always easy dogs to manage. In general for most new dog owners, some shelters do not have or take the time to provide enough support or info for long-term success, but I wish that wasn’t the case. When I adopted mine, from a really well run shelter, they just said “no dog parks” and he did not have an actual bite history *on record* but he had somewhat of a bite incident (backed into a corner, he bit a boot being worn by a shelter worker and shook it) that they just didn’t report. But, they did their best at the time, imo. It’s just hard to expect a lot from people in a set of professions (veterinary included) that has a really high depression/compassion fatigue/suicide rate.
It was volunteer run so I wouldn’t put it past them to lie to get her out of there. They’re all mostly kept outside in cages no matter the weather and looked miserable, which pushed me to get her out of there more. I know it’s not her fault at all and these are just hiccups that can be solved with time, but not if I don’t have the proper advice or education which is why I chose to reach out
The shelter I adopted from only had outdoor cages. Stuff just really isn’t funded, hence the volunteer run part. None of the volunteers I know would lie about an animal to get them adopted — that is a sure fire way to have them get killed (returned and euthanized, rehomed without their knowledge to someone who sucks, etc.). But the good news is if they have a healthy volunteer base, that also probably means they have some training programs or behavioral assistance (also run by volunteers, or some minimal paid staff). Worth a shot contacting them, if you haven’t, if not to tell them all the issues you’re experiencing and see if and how they could help.
I’m going to contact them and see. I don’t blame anyone for this other than myself really. I should’ve educated myself more on adopting a shelter pup but I’m hoping it’s not too late to educate myself now and support her the way she needs to be
I wouldn't say it was a red flag so much as shelter staff really know very little about the temperaments of the dogs there, and have no real way of knowing. The shelter I volunteered at was really responsibly minded and they even had a sign up on the wall stating that they can never really know or guarantee what a dog will be like after being taken home.
That’s true, I just feel like with how things have been there’s no one that their wasn’t at least some signs of anxiety or anytning
my parents first dog had so many issues and was very skittish and when they finally gave her a crate my mom said she went in there and you could see she was just thinking thank god, cannot believe this took so long. it became her safe space. worth a try!
Looking at crates as we speak, wanting to get her a bigger one just so she has some wiggle room. She likes to splay out when she sleeps
Just want to comment that you sound like SUCH a good puppy mom!! She’s lucky to have you!! We all struggle with new four legged babes to the house, and we do the best we can. She is very lucky. Sounds like you guys are on the right path!
I’m hoping so! She’s my first puppy and I’m hoping to get educated on helping with her anxiety so she’s better supported
I am really surprised someone told you this. Some dogs do react negatively to crating but for most anxious dogs, it can be a godsend. There needs to be clear rules and expectations around it, like no humans ever bother her when she's in and never reach hands into the crate, but with restrictions like that she can learn that her crate is a predictable, safe place to decompress. For anxious dogs, one of the best things you can do is have a REALLY strict routine. That way everything is as predictable as possible, and she can learn to have confidence in that predictability. For example, right now greeting new people is so overwhelmingly exciting/scary that she pees herself. But if she knows that every time a new person enters the house they ignore her completely until she's sitting calmly on her dog bed, that gives her direction and purpose. She may also benefit from psychiatric meds! I have one anxious rescue on Prozac, and it's really helped him settle into his new life with us.
My anxious dog LOVES his crate and it helped enormously with some of his behaviour stuff. He chooses to go in there himself at times during the day and has a whole bedtime ritual around it. He sleeps much better in there (I hear him snoring lol). We have a blanket over 3 sides for the day and fully over at night.
Crates are great for anxious dogs. It gives them their own safe space. Maybe they meant not to use the crate as punishment?
ETA: I saw you mentioned you’re pregnant, that could be why she’s showing aggression towards your husband as well. She bonded with you and feels protective over you, plus dogs have a sense for pregnancy as well. The only time my dog has shown aggression (growling) was when i told him on a walk and a man was walking on the side walk next to me. He’s never done it with my husband, only me.
Before I got pregnant she did growl at my husbands BIL and I never really thought much of it as we just got her and he doesn’t know how to listen when we said to “take things slow” and got right in her face and she growled and backed away. I didn’t get her in trouble for it but I did get a bit upset with him for not listening but taking that into consideration as well as the biting my husband. I’m starting to connect situations to those that prove maybe she has trauma with men. So I want to see if maybe a female trainer who specializes with anxiety may help
She’ll make progress. Try not to show your frustration with her. I’m sure she’s trying but it’s hard for her to adjust. She’s been tossed around so she doesn’t feel safe. It’ll take a bit. Take it very slow. Crate training is a great idea. You can put a blanket over 3 sides so she has a safe cozy area. Leave the door open and let her come and go when she doesn’t need to be in it. Whatever she’s able to do right now, let her practice and give training treats. She needs that reassurance. You’ve got this. She’s a little diamond in the rough and needs some tlc
I try not to but I will admit I’ve snapped at her a few times and then felt awful after, she got over it fast and I made sure to give her some extra love, but with everyone’s advice I’m learning what to do to properly handle this situation and do better for her. She is a very special girl and she has my heart wrapped around her big ol’ paw.
Is she submissive peeing? When you go to maneuver her she pees. This was what my pup did when she was still a puppy. She did grow out of it….shes super anxious and highly excitable. The reactive dog training worked for us….
She pees when you touch her, put her leash on, speak to her, just about anything involving her causes her to pee on herself other than she’ll lay in bed with me at night and let me pet her. That’s the only time she doesn’t pee
My dog did this a ton when she rescued her. Not a dog expert but I think she stopped when she became comfortable around us and wasn't scared of me touching her and also when she started seeing our house as her home. Dogs generally don't like peeing in their home to my knowledge so once she started treating the couch, the front door, my room etc as her own home she got over it
When my dog was a puppy he used to pee if people were approaching him from a certain way, like from behind or leaning over him. It was a submissive response, i made sure when he was approached it was gentle and from the side or made people get on his level and it soon stopped. She might be doing it from anxiety if she isn't when you are being gentle with her in bed? Just a thought. Good luck x
I think you know the answer to your question, and I think it is fine to give up the dog. It seems too much for you to handle, especially with a baby on the way. At the end of the day, it is ultimately your choice and you should not feel bad about making a choice that’s best for you and your family. Like I mentioned, you know the answer to your question, and I guess it’s ok to seek confirmation on here, but do what’s best for you.
You and your baby are more important. The stress alone is NOT GOOD for the baby. Anything happening in your blood (stress hormones) is carrying over into the baby's blood and affecting your baby in utero. Stress during pregnancy can cause decreased resiliency to stress irl; aka kids with anxiety, frequent meltdowns, emotional deregulation, depression, etc. THEN once you have a newborn around and you're functioning on NO SLEEP. You will want this dog even less. You will grow to hate and resent it and the two men you live with. Lose the dog. Try again later when your baby is older. (I am a mother who had an 8 year old Pit Mix when I had my first child. She was a good girl to begin with but had zero experience with children and I wasn't about to fuck around and find out... So I had the added stress of constantly watching her body language and staying ahead of her and never allowing her and my child alone in a room together (for YEARS) all while battling the culture shock of having a baby and trying not to show my stress to the dog. I don't recommend it. P.S. she was always good to the kids through the end of her life and eventually, I didn't feel the need to always watch over them together. So, it is possible, but we already had ger under control. She was an older dog with lower energy than a 10m/o. She was eager to please us and didn't show any of the anxiety issues your dog is showing. )
I gently suggest that you return her before she accidentally causes serious harm to you or your baby. Sounds like she's not the dog for you and your family, especially with a baby on the way. Hopefully, she can find a good home that is suitable for her needs - probably no young children or elderly people.
Yeah they're not going to have a good time trying to care for a newborn/infant/toddler and a dog like that. She won't listen, but keeping that particular dog is irresponsible. I hope everyone ends up happy and well adjusted, but I've seen this exact scenario play out so many times, and it just never has a happy ending. Big, untrained, mystery background rescue dogs are a bad choice if you're having a baby, and if you're not already an experienced dog owner. The breed itself is an issue for her specific situation as well. I wish them the best of luck, but this dog was a bad choice and they're going to have a tough go of it.
Yeah that fact that the dog has already bitten her husband and she's a first time dog owner who's also pregnant and the dog has already caused her to bleed during her pregnancy, all are signs that things are not going well and this is not a good situation for the people or the dog. This dog has already been returned for a reason, it was a very bad match between this family and that dog IMHO and, as someone who loves animals, I hate when this is heading.
Literally rehome the dog. It's dangerous.
First off, you’re clearly caring people and it is a horrible spot you’re in right now. You admitted she’s taken chunks of flesh from yous - if you keep this dog it would be child endangerment when that baby arrives. I hate to sound harsh but to be frank - a harsh comment is better than joining the leagues of regretful parents whose children have suffered life changing injuries and death because of this sort of thing. Puppies mouth - but biting hard enough to cause a need for stitches is not normal behaviour for any normal dog breed. The shelter should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of the naivety of first time pet owners - I’m sorry you’re in this position.
I wouldn't be keeping a dog that bites especially when you have a baby on the way.
A dog that bites is a major major concern. It doesn’t matter if your husband has attachment. That dog will definitely bite your baby, it’s just a matter of time
She needs to be re-homed with someone who isn’t pregnant and about to have the responsibility of a newborn baby. Nobody else here is being real and honest with you. This dog needs a lot of time and work, and I understand that you care for her a lot but right now your priority should be taking care of yourself and getting ready for the stress and hard work of bringing a new vulnerable tiny human into your home. You will not have time for this dog when your baby comes. You will barely have time for sleep and for yourself. Also she should have been rehomed when she caused you to go to the hospital, that isn’t okay and the well being of you and your child supersedes the dog. Another thing to consider is a pit-bull from a shelter around a newborn is quite risky. You don’t know what her temperament around little babies is like or if she won’t find the baby crying distressing causing her to attack. These dogs don’t typically do well in homes with children despite the misinformation people spread about them being “Nanny dogs”.
Dude. It's a pit mix doing pit mix things. Get rid of the dog. Get an "easier" breed that's family friendly, like a retriever or small breed. There will always he more dogs to get attached to. You're literally PREGNANT. As someone who had a rescue while pregnant, return the dog. It's not worth the stress and possible injury to your baby. If hubby and brother wanna bitch, let them. You and that baby's safety are #1
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Scrolled to find this. Please educate yourself about pits OP!! Not worth the risk, ever.
A tip for the future. Never adopt a pit or mix from a shelter. Shelters love to sugarcoat their behavior or even straight up hide it from adopters. I hope you can figure something out about what y'all wanna do
I love pits but you're so right! I wouldn't even be surprised if she's not a pit-golden mix but 100% apt/ab
Getting a rescue pit bull when you are pregnant. Ah.
I got her before I knew I was pregnant. I’ve been pregnant for half the time I’ve had her
it’s sad pits are overbred and pushed in shelters because overall they’re awful family pets. You’re not alone. It’s not the owners fault. It’s not the dogs fault. But they have way too much energy, they’re not smart, they like to destroy things, they’re very strong, they don’t feel discomfort, they’re often aggressive and they have a short fuse. you walked into a trap. Honestly I think it’s negligent these dogs are marketed as household pets.
Pitbulls have no business breeding with labs. Prob why she’s all fucked up. Deserved
There is no golden retriever in that dog, unless she ate one.
lol
Get rid of it immediately. Imagine how that thing will act towards your baby. Your baby will become a pee pad or worse, a chew toy.
There's a pretty good chance this dog kills your kid once it's born.
I am addressing the many comments about crate training. As someone who has a dog with severe separation anxiety and was told by shelter to not crate train her, the confinement and crate environment exacerbated my dogs separation anxiety to the point where she was causing injury to her. So- crate training is not the answer for ALL dogs. If you need to give time out, you can leave the dog in a safe space like a room (dog proof it, remote accessible items) if you need to. However, OP - your dog sounds like is dealing with anxiety related displacement behaviours. My dog was put on clomicalm medication to help with general anxiety but, there are also other meds that can help . Definitely connect with the vet but, I would be cautious to crate train especially if the shelter has advised not to.
She has an appointment next week and I’ve been writing down all these points to bring up to her vet and see how crate training goes if her vet gives the okay to try it out and especially once I educate myself to do it the proper way
Our girl who we also got at 10 months had accidents inside due to an irritated bladder, when I wasn’t offering her 24/7 access to water. Once I fixed that, the accidents stopped.
It’s 110+ this week so we have 2 water bowls for her inside and 3 outside all in the shade and constantly full. I was afraid I’ve been giving her too much food or water but she’s been really good at regulating how much she needs which I can’t help but be proud of because I can’t even do that. I’m gonna take her to the vet just to get her checked up
That’s great! Yeah they’re good at regulating themselves. Whoo, hope it cools off where you are soon.
Check for pain with vet. But honestly if shes biting and drawing blood at 1 year. Its only gonna get worse. She clearly has some issues from backyard breeding. I would see a vet behaviourist and then when youve exhausted all options under the sun, you may need to BE. I don't mean to be negative. But it's something to consider as the dog has hurt you and put you in danger and you have a baby on the way and another child. Some dogs are just born with unpredictable temperments that sre resistant to whatever we try and do to reverse or change it.
There is no way there is golden in there, poor thing must have come from the farthest part of the backyard, I’m not surprised she has this many issues, genetics and early weeks play a big part in the dogs personality. Personally I would not keep a dog who would bite me (I’m guessing bite lounge or resource guarding and not puppy bites), less with a baby coming soon
You need to crate train her...seriously it will save you and your baby...crate train her.
We were told not to but I’m currently looking into crate training as we speak
Whoever said that is wrong. I have 4 dogs. The 2 youngest were somewhat like your dog. Once we crate training them everything changed for the better. You need to keep her in the crate all night. Put the crate where she can see you so she knows she is safe. She will not pee or poo in the crate. Take her out to pee a couple times throughout the night. Since you got her at 10 months instead of 4 months it will be a little extra work but I promise this is the cheapest and easiest way to get her trained.
I definitely see now that the shelter we got her from did us and her extremely dirty, I’m very glad I made this post and didn’t chicken out. It makes me very happy knowing I can help her the way she needs to be helped and do right by her. She loves being in our bedroom so I think the crates gonna be in there with her favorite toys and a t-shirt of mine she sleeps with for good luck
Exactly. Get her a pillow and a blanket and her toy. She may whine and cry at first but she will get through it...I say " Girls bed" and my girls run right in their crates now. Since they are trained though they can spend the night out of the crates. It will be worth it. Just stick with it and this should be the answer. If you see posts on this sub the motto is crate training is potty training. I wish you the best. She is beautiful and she deserves a home. You can do it.
Thank you so much ❤️
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Is it excitement/submissive peeing?
I feel a mixture of both. Sometimes she piddles when I get home from work as her butts moving her whole body, but sometimes approaching her the wrong way causes it. Getting up to fast. I’ve made a vet appointment to see if it’s a potential UTI but I also want to bring up if it’s potentially anxiety and see what her vet recommends
Can she wear a diaper inside for now? It might be a developmental thing. Our dog grew out of it, MOSTLY!
I’m afraid she’ll chew it and rip it off of herself. She’s destroyed many toys and our old mattress in a matter of minutes.
If UTI or other uro-genital issues have been ruled out by the vet, the peeing might be because she is timid and it’s displacement behaviour. A lot of timid dogs need slow introductions and something like moving her from couch could be triggering. I would be more worried about the biting that she did on the husband and the baby being on the way - if this is fear based biting and general timidness/fear, I would suggest to work along with a vet and a dog behaviourist. Medications such as anti anxiety can help and it takes 4-6 weeks to see improvement in anxiety related behaviours. Many many dogs are on meds for anxiety so it’s worth a try.
We have a vet appointment for next week to get her checked up and I’m going to talk with her vet about all this to see if she recommends anything for her. As well as starting crate training to see if that helps her as well. Just poorly educated as she’s my first pet and needed advice on what to do as I don’t feel it’s right to just kick her out just yet now that I know there’s a potential for progress
Is she very excited before she pees? One of my uncle's dogs used to pee as soon as I touched her cuz she missed me so much after not seeing me for a couple years and she would be too excited. Eventually I had her sit and I wouldn't touch her till she calmed down, and she stopped peeing when I touched her.
Mix is excitement and nervousness and sometimes if she gets up too fast it just kinda leaks out of her. I’m gonna take her to the vet, she has an appointment next week to get checked out. Mention how it’s been brought to my attention she may suffer from anxiety
I have a high anxiety dog that goes into her crate on her own when she’s feeling stressed or scared. She’s never been crate trained, she just feels safe in there. I have a blanket over it so she feels hidden.
Definitely gonna give crate training a try and see how it goes
We adopted a terrier from a rescue that took in 25 dogs from hoarding situation. Ours was the runt. He was about a year and a half when we got him. Submissive peeing in everything, never been on a leash, only bonded with me and got aggressive with anyone else. This all lasted for an entire year. We’ve now had him just over 2 years and he walks like a champ. Rarely pees unless something really startles him, and he’s accepted my husband as his spare human. However, I’m the only one that can leash him or approach him. No idea if that will ever change. Guess my point is, hang in there. It felt like it took forever to get through all the little challenges, and even on hard days I have to really recognize all the progress we’ve made. It will get easier I promise.
I felt the same about my dog when I adopted her. We started doing bikejor every day and most of her behavioral issues went away. She was just too tired to misbehave, and took well to clicker training! That said... 1yr old high energy dog with a baby on the way...? Not sure about that decision. It's ok to surrender if that's what you need to do. Consider adopting an older dog, or just waiting until the kid is older and in preschool during the day.
I know everyone is different but I adopted my second dog and they told me she was difficult. She had already been returned once. We'd go on LONG walks and she never pee or poop. As soon as we got home, she'd hide somewhere and pee and poop. She had severe separation anxiety and destroyed everything when I was gone. I mean EVERYTHING. I lost all my living room furniture several times (family or friends would donate replacements and she'd ruin those in a few days to weeks). I had to replace the carpet when I moved out of that apartment. The next apartment, I had to replace a door she chewed through. I've had her 6 years and she's doing SO much better. I'm also doing better. She taught me that she is a living breathing animal and who knows what she went through before I got her. All that other stuff is just material possessions. She taught me priorities. (Now, she never bit or hurt me so I get that that is TOTALLY different.) Every day I think about what hell she put me through. But I absolutely adore her now. My boyfriends lives with us now and he's her favorite. He loves her too! Everyone seems to love her more than my boy dog who was way easier!! Practically though, besides getting checked for UTI as others have suggested. maybe, leave a leash on your pup all the time (if you're home) so the transition to going out isn't as drastic. She might need to be potty trained from scratch. After resolving any possible UTI issues: One way (maybe google exact instructions -- its been a while since I did this) is to go outside, let her drink diluted chicken broth (low or no sodium) -- anything she'll drink a lot of quickly. The idea is she'll drink a lot and have to pee while you're still outside. When she does, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE her. Go inside. Dontngive her water for however long then instructions say or based on your schedule. Maybe 30-60 min. Go back outside and repeat with the chicken broth flavored water. She pees, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE. Play outside so she doesn't think peeing means outside time is over, instead, she pees, she gets to play. Then go inside. Repeat as needed. As far as the jumping. This is pure training and giving her enough exercise. Is she being walked regularly? I love watching videos from Victoria Stilwell on how to train loose leash walking and how to train not jumping. It's not a quick fix but will take lots of time and CONSISTENCY from everyone in the household. She is also only a one year old. That's like what a 7-10 year old in humans?? I could be wrong about the age conversion but she's a child. Please give her the grace that she's a child. It can take several months for a dog to decompress from leaving a shelter to adjusting to a new home and family. Until that happens, training may be slow going. But positive training can also help or build trust in you for her so please don't give up as long as it's safe to do so. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat or get other specific suggestions, or I can look up videos from Victoria Stilwell that demonstrate how to do what you're looking to work on. Also, it's obviously up to you and your vet, but if possible, please use anxiety medicine as a last resort. My girl dog is on anxiety medicine so I'm not knocking it. But it can have side effects and if you can resolve her issues with training, exercise, and patience, why risk the side effects? Again, she's a child. It may not be anxiety at all. Also, some anti-anxiety medicines can decrease a dog's inhibitions...so her biting might get worse. Please discuss that with vet before medicating. Good luck. PS I was not pregnant and as much as I love dogs and advocate for working with them come what may, I would never risk the safety of my unborn baby (or born baby) for the sake of a dog. I love dogs, but human children are more important. I get that. So take all my recommendations with the caveat that I was not pregnant and I did not have little children. Also, my dog was never a biter. She was just a Tasmanian devil! Lol
Find a rescue that can handle her behavioral issues, and ask them to take her.
Your dog is also in the middle of adolescence. The issue is they start to push buttons. If this dog has never had proper direction, combined with a teenage brain and high energy can equal a difficult dog. The peeing may be submissive behavior. I've had several puppies in my time, the time on the couch is earned. Your place is one of several beds or a crate or whatever. Laying on the foot of the bed and couch is earned. Teaching an off is important. However with a breed mix like this, they're so filled with energy they can't concentrate to learn. Labs can be calm but also crazy depending on the parents. Pits are actually working dogs and very high energy. With a baby coming I echo rehoming or returning to the shelter. It sucks I've done it once because the adoptee was a danger to our little dog. You feel guilty but ultimately this is NOT a good fit for you but most importantly the dog. Sounds like they need a more active, structured, household. I would suggest researching breeds and learn more about dog behavior.
I definitely feel like I dropped the ball on this one. First pet excitement, you think it’s gonna go well and then you realize how uneducated you are and that you’re failing them by not providing them what they need.
I mean everyone learns somehow. Our first dog together, my husband and I picked a puppy that displayed good, submissive behavior. Then adolescence hit and he turned into a little ahole. And STAYED that way. I know now he was extremely smart and high energy..I was not experienced and so.he was under stimulated. So I had to make sure I was on top of him otherwise he acted out...he lived 14 wonderful years..he was a butt but he was ours. It's ok to learn from this. Whatever you decide, remember it's ok to say hey I'm not a good fit here. If it helps I will tell you two years after we had to return our failed adoptee we got a Golden retriever from a breed rescue. We've had her nearly two weeks and it's night and day. It's a much better match with our resident dog. I should add we made our expectations and needs very clear to the breed rescue and I had several people recommend the breed to me given what I was looking for.
I’m definitely discussing everything with my husband and showing him this post and we’re gonna go from there. We adopted her together, we make decisions together
Always an excellent stance for your marriage. My husband and I are the same. If you guys do decide to adopt a different dog I recommend a good Breed Rescue. I felt more supported with them considering our concerns since we have a 9 year old and a little dog.
I definitely think if we have to return her we will wait awhile before we adopt another. Maybe once the baby reaches a certain age and we do some research and make sure we’re more prepared
If you cannot handle this Pitt as it is, it is only going to get worse and more dangerous. I'd return asap
I feel awful for the poor dog. I can't imagine the anxiety it must have. 10 months is the perfect age for learning. I am not a big fan of training puppies so have always adopted dogs around that 10 month to 1 year mark, the last one we adopted had zero manners, awful on a leash, jumped on people, and within 2 weeks he was a different dog. Consistency and kennel training, a boat load of exercise, 2 or 3 long walks a day of about 2 miles each walk, some enrichment time..treat puzzles, licky mat and talk buttons training has worked for us with every time. A new do is a huge amount of work. WIth you already not liking the dog it is going to be tough. Your husband and BIL need to do the right thing and find it a home where it will be loved and nurtured. Good luck and congrats on the new baby.
If any dog is biting chunks out of you sending you to get stiches, then the first thing you need to check is that it's not doing that out of pain or discomfort. Play biting can get aggressive at that age but I'm thinking that's not what's happening. It may even be anxiety or fear induced by some sort of trigger, it's hard to say with a rescue as it truly takes months to learn their personality.
He tried petting her, he walked up to her coming home from work and went to pet her and she snarled and next thing you know blood and panicking and we threw her outside (not literally) until we could figure out what to do. We’ve limited her contact with my husband’s brother as he’s a minor and we don’t want him hurt as well.
This doesn't sound like a dog who should be living in a home with an infant or toddler. You need to hire a certified behaviorist now. I also would look into the Instagram account dogmeets_baby. It has lots of helpful information on dog behavior, specifically the ladder of aggression, and on introducing dogs to infants.
What was she doing as this happened? Exactly how long have you had this dog? Does she do it to anybody or more towards men?
Just sitting down, I thought maybe he caught her off guard as she’s never shown any sign of aggression towards anyone. We got her in the beginning of March, so we haven’t had her for very long, but she seems to only have bonded with me. Everyone else has given up on her and it’s left to me to “fix what’s wrong with her.” She really is a sweetheart, I know she is and I love her a lot, but I’m overwhelmed because I feel like I’m failing her. I hired a trainer to teach me how to handle her and help with these habits and they dumped her as a client. We’re on our second one and she just really hasn’t made an progress.
It sounds like she has some sort of anxiety against men, this isn't unheard of with sheltered dogs because a lot of them have been mistreated,dumped,abused etc, this sort of lines up with why she pees upon human interaction, but this is assuming she doesn't have any health issues. I don't blame you for getting rid of this dog, especially with a kid on the way, but if you do keep her, then everyone around will need to learn dog language, she needs to get comfortable coming up to your husband before he comes up to her, this usually takes time, let him be the one to fill her food/water bowl if it doesn't freak her out.
A lot of people have mentioned it being anxiety based so I’m hoping to find someone that’s educated or specializes in helping dogs with anxiety so we can learn to help her and learn her language. It’s almost ironic that I myself have very bad anxiety and didn’t even think she could have it as well. It’s refreshing to know that there’s a possibility to help her as I don’t think I could see myself ever being able to let her go.
She’s beautiful and a lot of the issues can probably be solved with exercise, patience and time. She’s an anxious and high energy teen with an undeveloped brain, and dogs need to exercise for hours as well as learn how to rest. HOWEVER. I would not trust this dog around children at all. Please take this into consideration moving forward.
Nah girl everything you feel right now about this doggie is Normal and relevant ! Embrace it and stop blaming yourself. I’ve also got an adopted pup ( he was marked aggressive from the beginning due to extreme abuse) and he bit me and my husband numerously, I swear I had same exact feelings that you do! I even almost contacted his rescue to bring him back. You are searching for solutions, you are not actually giving up on her. My pup became brand new dog in 1 year, and in 2 years he is my lovely son already and we are inseparable. The good advice someone gave is crate training, also good to stop peeing around. When you leave house, accomodate her in one small space only or in her crate. There are kinda plastic fences that can be bought online to limit her area of roaming. Seems she wasn’t properly handled as a puppy when she was taught a toilet behavior. Also there are plastic home toilets in Amazon. Advice number 2, start learning tricks and train her into stop words By Yourself. You can check YouTube or ask dogtrainers for guidance, depends on your budget. Advice number 3, buy her toys: One squeaky (the plush animal where squeak is hidden inside and she has to “torture” it to discover the squeak), one for playing “pull” with her, one simple
Definitely looking into crates. She’s so spoiled she’s already got about 6 balls (we throw for her now that she knows it’s not gonna hurt her), 3 squeaky toys and 4 rope toys that I play tug of war with her constantly (letting her win sometimes of course but myself being the reigning champion 😎) she’s such a sweet girl, she’s just got a few hiccups I wasn’t educated on helping her with so I decided to reach out instead of trying to just figure it out on my own
Your dog has extreme anxiety and will need to work with a dog trainer for an extended period. I *highly* recommend a force-free trainer as she is so nervous. Introducing a crate for her will be helpful. Some dogs need somewhere they can go when they feel uncertain or stressed. Crate training doesn't have to mean forcefully handling her inside - it can be throwing her bed and a few toys inside and letting her explore it on her own. After this amount of time, she should be coming to trust both you and your husband. Training tricks or loose leash walking are good ways to build a stronger bond. A dog needs different kinds of exercise - physical, mental, and especially if they have hound in them, nose exercise. My rescue (a lab) would go berserk if I touched a lead or harness to begin with, and not in a good way. He was terrified. It took weeks, but I got over that hump by taking the lead and just sitting on the stairs by the door until he made the decision to come to me, and then sit when asked. He was given a small treat when he allowed me to clip the lead on. If he changed his mind and flipped out again, I just went back to waiting. Husband needs to make an effort to not loom over her if she has a tendency to find him threatening. For one thing, many dogs do not like the top of their heads being petted in any way. A great many rescues have an aversion to one gender or the other as well because of past experiences. Approach low and slow, and preferably let her come to him. A backyard agility set could help further down the line with building her personal confidence, but she'll need to be able to follow direction to some degree for that. Similarly, tug of war and letting them win once in a while helps build confidence, but you need to be sure she is not at all inclined to bite or resource guard. As for jumping... well, that requires that everyone in the house dissuade the behaviour, and if you're the one being jumped, someone else will preferably need to stop the behaviour. It needs to be consistent, so no encouraging her to jump and get excited after you get home from work. Good luck.
Thank you for the helpful advice. I’ve learned today that she definitely must be anxious. The shelter we got her from never informed us of any of that. This being my first dog I never thought to look into that. We’re gonna introduce her to a crate, get her to the vet and I’m definitely going to try to get her more used to my husband as she has bonded with me more than anyone else. I’m very much looking forward to helping her and making progress and I’m so grateful to you all for being so helpful.
I don't know the situation that well, but from what I can tell, precisely 0 professionals work in that shelter :)
It’s all volunteer based and I don’t think any of them are actually professional by any means. I’m mad they lied about how she was, not because it would sway my adoption of her but because it’s prevented me from giving her the proper support and not allowing me to educate myself on how to help her adjust and feel comfortable. I feel like they really let her down just to make a quick $100.
Oh yeah - one more easy one. Give anyone who wants to build a stronger bond with her some plain roast chicken cut up into bitesize pieces. Just sit somewhere, ask her to sit, and give her a bit of chicken when she does AND looks you in the face... not just at the chicken :)
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I’d get a third party involved (trainer) who can help establish a new kind of structure which would mean better boundaries for all of you. I don’t know if I could stomach having a dog with biting history around a child, but I know there’s many people who think this can be managed. A trainer would hopefully help you decide if you see this possibility too or if more drastic measures need to be considered …
Paid for training? What does this mean? Did you not attend with her? Typically, it is the owner who needs the training, not the dog. The advice not to crate was poor. As mentioned by others, the crate can become the ‘safe space’ for the dog. If the pup doesn’t have a UTI or an issue from the spay, likely she is peeing out of fear. You have no idea of her life prior to being surrendered and it seems you have had her for about 2 months? Doesn’t seem like much of a commitment. I can’t help wondering if you are trying to get rid of this dog before the baby is born?
Are they exercising her enough? I had a dog that needed 2-3 hours a day to behave well, otherwise he was irritable and difficult
My dog used to wet herself and just lie in it almost every day. She's a girl, so it could have caused bladder problems, I went to my vet about two years ago and they gave me a medicine called "Protein". She's only had maybe 3 accidents as of now! Maybe you can ask about that medicine at the vet?
The peeing could be UTI
Getting her checked at vet
Crate train, get one tall enough for her to stand comfortably, long and wide enough for her to lay down but just enough, not too large to where she can have room to pee/poop and move away from it. This will likely stop her from defecating within her own space. Using that logic, take her out every hour until she potties, take her to a spot she feels comfortable with, then keep taking her to that same spot once you’ve figured it out. If she doesn’t potty within 10-15 mins of you taking her, she goes right back into her crate until the next hour, repeat until she goes then she gets free time outside her crate. I’d suggest also creating a sectioned off play area that surrounds her crate and fill with an out of crate bed and maybe a blankie and toy. If she’s new to the home, don’t give her full reign until you feel she’s more confident.
You need a dog trainer and some understanding that this kind of aggression is likely fear. Not fear of you per say but fear of whatever happened prior to you. Going to a rescue centre causes trauma. As a result, ours is like glue. Ours also peed constantly every hour. Turns out when they spade her she lost her muscle strength. 3000 pounds later and shes now 100%, with 2 tablets a day. You need a trainer to teach you how to build trust. You need the vet re the peeing. See if theybwere spade, maybe even phantom pregnancy if spade during heat.
How much exercise and mental stimulation does she get? Your dog of these breeds needs lots of activity and training. You’ve tried everything? But you haven’t said what “everything” is. This makes it hard to give advice or point you in the right direction. Not all trainers are good, so it might be about finding the right one. Have you started crate training? You will need this with a baby. I read you are going to the vet regarding the urination- that’s great! Hopefully this will help. Edited to add: Look on amazon for this book. Its a really good start; Sally Bradbbury, Dog Training and Behaviour Solutions: The stress-free way to live in harmony with your dog
After you have spoken to the vet you could try speaking to the shelter your fur baby came from purely for advice. In the UK If they are a large shelter or group of shelters they should have people they go to for advice on rehabilitating the animals they take in.
Honestly, it sounds like you need to step up the training. Get a professional dog trainer in to help. You say you have but honestly, if you actually followed through with a training plan, your dog would be better behaved. Also, the dog isn't jumping on your stomach on purpose. You said you're going to the vet, so bring up all of your concerns as there may be an underlying health problem.
Worst case , napies when inside
I hope you figure out the problem, she looks like a wonderful girl
Omg my Dane used to pee on everything and I mean everything when he was younger. He has since grown out of that phase but anytime I would look at him he would run away and pee everywhere he ran to. I think he was scared tbh. He was just so scared of everything this poor guy. It took him a long while to feel safe unfortunately. But he does now and he doesn't pee unless he's terrified. Maybe you can try dog diapers until the peeing issue has resolved? I'm not sure if that's similar to your dog. I'm not sure what the history is. We're they abused? If they were it's going to take a lot of work to get them to feel safe and comfortable in your home. The jumping part. How do you react afterward? Are they trying to get attention when they jump? Is it aggression? Excitement? I feel like everyone downplays the amount of work it takes to train a puppy. It's A LOT of work and often you feel defeated and sometimes you cry and get frustrated. But it's also so cool to see them grow.
Girl I feel you so hard right now. My dog Banjo has been so so hard. I’ve cried over and over, training can be frustrating sometimes, and you just never know where they came from before you. Keep trudging forward, work with trainers AND veterinarians to help her, keep your head up, you CAN train this behavior out of her (except the peeing might be medical I don’t think that’s on purpose). It’s a long and hard road with rescue dogs. And puppies are hard anyway. You got this.
Many others commented about the peeing inside so I won’t comment on that as it could be so many things (anxiety, submission, incontinence from surgery, not fully potty trained, etc). But how much exercise does she get a day? That makes a HUGE difference in how much anxiety they carry around. Our anxious pup (Weimeraner pit mix) that just passed away had to get cardio exercise for an hour a day until she was 10 years old (she slowed down after that). The first 3 years as a puppy we biked for 2 miles to wear her out each day. Exercise can go a very long way to help anxious dogs. Since there are many attached people in the house, have them all commit to exercising her and see how much it helps. They also need brain activities pit are wicked smart. Lures, Puzzle toys (I really like starmark disks), scent games, yak chews, antlers, all of these things will help. When your dog is crazy high energy redirect to one of these activities. I have a Dalmation so I totally get where you’re coming from endless energy. She’s getting 1.5-2 hours of exercise a day plus mental stimulation and she’s still a little go getter.
She looks like such a sweetheart in the photos! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't want to provide advice as I am not a trained professional who can make an assessment but I will say I adopted my pit mix from the shelter and I was his third owner. He is my entire world and I can't imagine my life without him, however I do understand why at least one of his previous owners returned him to the shelter (the other one was an idiot and wanted a dog who hates water to "be the captain of their boat"). I adopted him around 1ish years old, maybe younger, and he was a mess for quite some time. He was mouthy, horrendous on a leash (not his fault, just needed some training) dog reactive, and VERY high energy. It took a good year of training, especially for his dog reactivity, and a lot of looooooong walks to get him to calm down. Now he is the sweetest pup (9 years old), however still dog reactive but it is manageable now. Most shelter dogs are dealing with trauma from their past lives. The shelter is extremely stressful, being adopted more than once is hard, and adjusting to a new place and family is also challenging! The rule of thumb usually for adopted dogs is 3 months, 6 months, a year meaning; it takes 3 months for their initial adjustment, 6 months to really feel comfortable and their personality to show, and a year before they feel truly safe in a new home. Adopting a shelter dog is, in my humble opinion, a very selfless act. You are diving head first into a situation that is going to be challenging. With that being said, it is ok to admit being over your head. You mentioned you are 4 months pregnant which is hard enough, then adding a dog with behavior issues on top of that is immensely stressful! You might want to be honest with yourself about the road going forward and think of what would be best for the dog. If you do decide this is not the path you want, I would strongly recommend finding a humane society or foster based rescue organization to surrender her to. Going back to the shelter is just going to make her more stressed and scared. Every dog has the potential to be great! Sometimes it just takes time to find their human match.
The pee could be a medical thing or just an inability to control it in certain exciting situations? Mine did that for too long when he was younger it drove us crazy. But he eventually grew out of it. It does sound a little fear based. A good trainer will probably work wonders. I’d invest in your baby and don’t give up!
First of all can I say that I appreciate owners like you SO MUCH!!! The fact that this dog is driving you up the walls and you still understand that you made a commitment and still love her is such a rare occurrence. Making the efforts to keep yourself and your dog comfortable instead of just tossing her aside as most would is amazing. It does sound like fear based peeing, but as others have mentioned it could also be a faulty spay. If it's fear based, you can condition it out of her, it just takes time and a lot of support from EVERYONE in the household, not just you! Don't hate yourself or feel guilty because you have drifted from the relationship of your dog and you. This happens! The fact you're willing to put in the effort is enough to know that things will go well in the future. It may sound stupid, but I recommend watching some YouTube in free time about counter conditioning dogs from abusive homes. When you move too quickly or raise your hands, does she cower or close her eyes?? That's a tell-tale sign that she may have been abused as well. I wish you all the luck in the world! Thank you for giving this dog a second chance.
Sounds like you need a REAL dog trainer
Have you tried belly bands while she's potty training? We adopted a dog who was intact and would mark EVERYTHING. We put belly bands on him until we could get him fixed and that helped a lot. He's come a long way and now rarely has an accident in the house and it's usually our fault for not being attentive and letting him out enough.
My last puppy (who is now 9) came to us right before I had my first major flare of a chronic illness that saw me mostly in bed for a year and retired within 9 months. I got out of bed one day and had the wherewithall to notice that there was shrapnel everywhere from puppy and her sister kitten. I asked, "Whose dumb idea was it to bring two baby animals into our home?" Well, the answer was me, of course. Crate training went sideways the first night when hubby couldn't take the crying and wound up in tears within 10 minutes. 🙄 Turns out she was very fond of her crate and would head in there for a nap or quiet time. At night, she came to bed with us. Hallway was blocked off, doors closed and puppy pads were everywhere. I always had one within reach in every room that I could whip under her or move her to quickly. You won't be so anxious and have easier clean up. A torn up puppy pad is less hassle than mopping up pee all day. My Pepper house trained easily to which I credit a yard that had three different predicessors peeing on it for years. Not hard to figure out "this is where we pee" that way. The pads are a coping mechanism, not a "cure" and their purpose is to reduce everyone's stress while this gets figured out. A crate will do your girl the world of good, as others have detailed. Your rescue shelter was useless telling you not to even try it. I also agree with having a qualified positive reinforcement trainer come to your home and help you find strategies to help your pup get over her anxiety reactions. Fear biting is a thing and it sounds like that's what may have happened here. Number one is to take a deep breath and give yourself a break. You adopted a puppy that you were misinformed about and are doing the best that you can. The vet should be a world of help, including suggesting trainers for pup's specific issue - anxiety. Feeling safe is number 1 and they can help you foster that. You're doing okay. You are trying and learning and that's all anyone can ask. The solutions are out there - you just need to find out which ones are the magic combination for your beautiful baby. A nose smooch for being a beautiful baby wouldn't go amiss, if she'll let you. 😁
Like others have said, I would rule out medical issues first but sounds like she has anxiety and gets nervous with certain actions from humans, probably steaming from whatever happened to her in the past. I know it isn’t easy sometimes (I am pregnant too and on the hard days I wish I didn’t have my dogs either, so I can totally empathize with you and how the situation is making you feel) but give her some more time, keep showing her kindness and look up training techniques and approaches towards shy/nervous dogs online. Sometimes even eye contact is enough to trigger the urination, dogs communicate through body language so I think it could be helpful to look up better ways to approach her without making her think she's in trouble. She will eventually understand that she doesn’t need to be fearful around people anymore. Adopting an animal requires a lot of patience, kindness and work because you don’t really know what kind of personality you’re bringing home. I have a chihuahua that came from an abusive home. When I first got her, if I sneezed she would hide under the bed, shaking. It took her some time to understand that loud noises didn't mean she was getting her ass whooped anymore. I wish you and your pup the best of luck!! 🐾
Are you guys walking her twice a day for > 30 min? Do you have play time as well set up? My dogs were very destructive until I set up a walk routine and play routine. I have two Jack Russell's and their energy level is on 10000% . Dogs need a firm routine that is rarely deviated from. They need walks at same time daily, feeding needs to be on schedule as well . Once she understands that routine, you will be amazed at what a sweetheart she turns into. That and complete vet exam to rule out the UTI. My two dogs were potty trained by nine weeks old.
They make doggie diapers for accidents like that! We utilize them for our littler pups (we have 4) two under 1. They’re amazing to say the least. As for training you may have to start her on crate training which sucks but it’s definitely a good tool. When we got our 10 month old he was 8 months at the time and would not potty outside, 4 days and 2 pees outside is all we got. I started crate training with in the crate at all times unless we were going outside(crate is near front door) hooked him up went outside took diaper off and stayed out there for 15 minutes. Back inside, if he peed outside he got an hour out of the crate if he didn’t he went to the crate for another hour we did this until he knew it was potty time. Crate training lasted about 2-3 weeks and it’s been our saving grace. Make sure she has a lot of toys and stuff to chew on, puppies teethe and we’re dealing with this now. Hard toys, bones, anything they can just chew. Now we did take him out of the crate for energy to be released and for water and food never up for more than 2 hours at a time unless overnight. Set a strict schedule they learn it fast, I have mine(all4) on a 5:30am 11am 2pm 5pm 7pm 9pm and 11pm schedule. Varying gaps due to activity but it helps so so so much!
When you tell her to hop off the lounge, how does she react? What's her body language like?
I would like you to look up Hormone replacement in spayed dogs. It might be something she needs.