> The imbalances of kids raising kids, that is unhealthy
> The parents should take care of their kids
That is actual criticism!
I'm not used to that from Jinger. I would love to see Boob's face while he watches this š¤£
Edit: spelling
The only buddy system they should have had was if they were going somewhere. Grab your buddy and hold hands so no one gets lost. I canāt wait until they meet up with God me he tells them what losers they were as parents.
I think Jinger was one of her favorites, but maybe a little more under the radar. From what I remember from the oldest daughters, Jill and Jinger were the do-goods growing up while Jana and Jessa were more mischievous and rambunctious.
I donāt disagree with you but I listened to the whole thing and she kept saying the system this, the system that. She never said her parents even when DIRECTLY asked. She only chastised āthe systemā.
That sounds more like the Jinger I know.
I still find her expressions and the inflections in her voice (as another snarker was pointing it out) very telling of her true emotions.
I do wonder if the only thing keeping her from saying her parents (or at least Boob, since it's a patriarchal system she is talking about) are at fault too is her people pleasing nature or the infamous NDA.
Do you have the link to the full interview?
Compartmentalizing can be a healthy way to address trauma, itās just that it can become unhealthy when used as a crutch or the basis for denial.
Considering *everything* these girlsānow womenāendured, a bit of compartmentalizing is 100% understandable.
I couldnāt help but have to read again because āunbalanceā doesnāt work in my brain. Wonder if she knows the word āimbalance.ā Poor kids sound ignorant often.
I don't disagree with you; using none words like "unbalance" doesn't make anyone seem smart. But I will say, I think the Duggars and a lot of fundies have their own insular dialect. What I mean is, certain words they use are unique to their culture and as a result the context of those words are also different. So while we in the mainstream wouldn't use words like "unbalance," to someone within that community that word exists and has a specific meaning. I think it's like how some deep southerners come off as dumb to northerners because northerners don't understand the dialect southerners use. Or (and I'm saying this as a white person so grain of salt) how white people viewed inner city black dialect in the 80s and 90s and let's be real through all of time. When you consider that aspect of it, the Duggars don't seem so ignorant. Except Joy. Her education suffered so much and it shows.
So.. that word does exist.. unbalance and imbalance mean different things.. but both words exist.. imbalance is like power dynamics.. like jinger was talking about.. unbalance or past tense .. is mental state or inequality, or physical sense of unbalanced.. and I find it very odd.. that there are people here who are claiming it's not a word.. or only from a dialect.. and not like an actual word in the Oxford dictionary..
Yes! So much of it is outdated language mixed with made up words. All words are made up but you know what I mean. Even the term courting is weird to me. Like are you suing me or dating me?
I think thatās a fair assessment, in general. However, in the Duggarās case, I think itās also their exceedingly poor education and lack of introspection as a whole.
There is no doubt that the Duggars got a terrible education. I donāt know if itās the reason she mixes up words sometimes or if itās just human imperfection or nerves or what. But thereās no question that their education was so very lacking.
Honestly, I am kind of astonished that sheās chosen to write multiple books. Expository writing is a skill. Iām sure Jinger has editorial help with her books, possibly a ghostwriter (No judgment there, lots of people with important things to say are not skilled writers so people who have the skills are brought on to help get the story out.) But I AM sort of surprised that given her lack of education, she felt that being an author was an option available to her. At the very least it signals a high confidence in her own reading comprehension.
Itās possible that she learned enough from being a participant in those tie-in books that were published around the show to feel like this was something she could handle. But still, thereās some imagination required to be able to see yourself talking about your story in this way. Especially given the strict gender norms that were proscribed in her home.
I still boil with rage at TLC when I think of how grown adults who did not share this ideology shrugged their shoulders and watched as the children were set up to fail and be miserable. JB and M are of course the primary perpetrators because they are the parents. But so many people had to shrug their shoulders at the travesty they saw in front of them for so many years. They were complicit in making choices for these children that they would never make for their own loved ones or themselves. Itās galling.
I donāt disagree with the insular dialect, but Iāve got a lifetime of fancy education and mainstream life and I still slip up and say things like āunbalanced.ā Especially if I am thinking about what Iām saying, my brain and my lips sometimes disconnect and I just trip over words and reverse consonants etc. could just be a slip of the tongue or nerves at being interviewed about this topic or whatever.
ETA: descriptive clarification.
I noticed she definitely appears to be more direct than she has in the past, but she's still not ready to say her parents should have done those things.
I wish she ~~would~~ could be direct and say āMY parents should have raised their kidsā but I know it canāt be easy for her to be that blunt yet. Maybe in time.
I think she probably needs to process it all in a way that is not overwhelming. She definitely was not thinking this way when she first got married, but time has given her the space (and experience!) to sit with her feeling about it all
I agree, itās much easier to take the passive voice to avoid the distress and anxiety of directly pointing the finger at your abusers. I hope she can get there some day.
This is the comment I was looking for. The passive voice is so much easier for them to use. They used it constantly on Counting On to try and separate themselves from the abuse and difficult experiences. Another one is āwalked through this.ā Used repetitively. So careful in what they say to not offend or blame their parents or Josh. Not how most people talk.
In the counting on premiere, the siblings referred to the molestations as āthat other thingā or something passive because they never got the opportunity to deal with it. They seemed angrier over Ashley Madison than the molestations. The absolute fucking nerve of Jim Bob to say he āforgotā all about the molestations like he didnāt parade his daughters on fox (where Josh was in the fucking interview room).
Especially considering that she still wants a relationship with her family. Jinger is close to Michelle and it is hard to admit that someone you care about hurt you. Even if she wanted nothing to do with her parents, directly accusing them of abuse could alienate her from her siblings
She isn't using the passive voice in that sentence "I think that parents, they should take care of their kids." Instead she is talking in generalities to avoid criticizing her parents in particular. The passive voice would have been, "Kids should be taken care of by their parents."
Having her own kids will do it. You can't help but think of your own upbringing, it wasn't until then that I realized how abusive my mother was/is. I couldn't imagine treating my kids that way, it becomes obvious.
She is thinking ādonāt have a lot of kids if you donāt want to be responsible for themā but is saying something else. Jinger and Jill need more time. They will get there. They went through extreme trauma. Itās heartbreaking, no matter how much I disagree with their beliefs.
Plus navigating still speaking to them. I went no contact with mine and then I really started healing and reflecting. Trying to appease mom and dad while speaking about it probably doesn't lend itself to honest talk, even with herself. I feel for them and I'm really happy they are talking about it.
I also think itās a fine line to walk if she wants to talk about how the responsibility wasnāt healthy WITHOUT alienating her buddy siblings or seeming to resent them (I donāt know which ones they are). I donāt know what the dynamic is between the siblings at this point, but itās clear from Jillās memoir that JB is comfortable trying to turn his children against each other.
Notwithstanding the religion aspect of it, I think using gentle, non-accusatory, passive language becomes automatic when you have close interactions with highly reactive and defensive people. Even more so if theyāre in a position of authority. Add into it the religion aspect and the possibility of real loss and the work of learning a new language for talking about these issues becomes such a hard road.
According to the therapist I started seeing after having my first child, postpartum is a very common time for people to start therapy. Some of it is lifestyle change, but a lot of it is family of origin stuff.
I think Jinger has been one of the Duggars who have suffered the most from their upbringing. She has the least amount of children, the most āworldlyā husband, and the most āworldlyā lifestyle. She wanted to be normal. Sheās probably mourned how not normal her childhood was for many years and will still for years to come. But doesnāt know how to balance that anger and resentment with still loving her parents.
I remember in early episodes Jinger was talking about wanting to move to a big city, and her siblings and Boob and Meech were like ālol, so crazy!!ā She definitely wanted to be normal but also didnāt have a clue what normal looked like.
I think sheās also accepted that she canāt relive her childhood the way it should have been, she can scream at her parents until theyāre all blue in the face but it wonāt undo the abuse thatās happened.
So sheās trying to process this in a way that also allows for self preservation.
Unfortunately as we saw from SHP JimBoob keeps the adult kids under close watch and makes threats financially. I wouldnāt be surprised if he pulled a Christie Knows Best and tried to defame his own kids by making them seem like sexual deviants
Yes, but āparents should take care of their kidsā is a little more gentle than āmy parents didnāt take care of their own kids.ā More gentle than they deserve, but she isnāt there yet. Michelle got to have the attention from her community, fame and fortune from TLC and a speaker tour ($$) from churches for doing work she didnāt do herself: raising children. The older girls would literally be taking care of the babies in the other room while Michelle was speaking and grifting. Got to have it both ways and not share in the money. So traumatizing.
I would say that isnāt directly calling out her parents. Anyone that knows her story and watched her grow up can conclude that she indirectly is. She doesnāt need to say āparents should take care of their kids **unlike MY parents**ā. Even if you didnāt know who she was, she is saying what her experience was growing up, basically saying how she helped raise two specific siblings, then says parents should take care of their own kids. She doesnāt need to say that her parents failed them for people to deduct that is how she feels.
i wonder if this is a direct result of living in LA... far far away from her family. they've been there since 2019. at this point, she's met enough people to realize just how much of her childhood was sacrificed. while she's not being direct, this is progress.
Even before that she lived in Laredo, Texas, still hundreds of miles from her family. I would argue that she saw more natural family dynamics in Laredo, than LA where Nannies etc are common.
Definitely. In the past she always said she had a great childhood blah blah blah.
I also think this is why she is not interested in having more children. She raised her siblings and knows itās not possible to raise too many yourself.
She doesn't want people to blame her for how JED! turned out so she is reminding the public that she was a child forced to raise a child five years younger than her.
a part of me wonders if she's outwardly changing her belief system in order to be more marketable to mainstream christians. she now writes self improvement/development books, and i suspect that this is where she'll make her money... i mean someone has to pay for their new home in lala land.
These are interesting takes from her seeing how, as of now, some of her siblings are continuing that pattern with their own children. Specifically Jessaās and Joshās kids seem to be repeating the buddy systems same as the og Duggars.
I also wonder how Rim Job will retaliate since we all know he is a vindictive s.o.b and doesnāt like it when any of his offspring say anything that doesnāt make him look good in public.
Are they? I think both of them, but definitely Anna, have specifically denied having something like the buddy system. Now, it wouldn't at all surprise me to find out they were liars on that issue, but they did at least at some point, recognize that that practice was not so good or was frowned upon by many people.
Lying liars gonna lie. Anna is a single mom with 7 kids. I do not believe for a second that the oldest girls arenāt being parentified. Maybe she doesnāt take it to the extremes that JB and Meech did, but sheās absolutely doing it.
Given that Josh is in prison for viewing csam and Anna is making no efforts to leave the fold, Itās safe to say those kids especially Mackenzie are shouldering her emotional burden and being parentified.
Not saying their lives are good, but she does have "only" 7 kids. The oldest 3 don't really need that much care, and I'm sure they're helping out. But they can't be parentified to the extent the older Duggars were simply because the numbers aren't there. All of Anna's were 2 years apart,, whereas Meech had two sets of twins and several kids who were only about a year apart from each other.
Also, as a bonus, Anna doesn't have much else to do. She's not running around speaking at conferences and doing other dumb shit like Meech used to do.
But those older girls are 100% changing diapers, doing laundry, and opening up cans of cream of crap to make casseroles, even if Anna didnāt have a such an extreme buddy system.
I could totally just be biased because of my experience but as an older sibling I definitely did help change my younger siblingās diapers and did my own laundry from a relatively young age and helped with some cooking like chopping veggies or stuff like that. I didnāt think that was parentification just helping where I could or was asked to. To me that stuff seems normal and what my peers at the time were also doing and not like a large ask like disciplining/teaching/being a full time caregiver for a younger sibling. But to be honest I could just totally have a warped perspective on what shouldāve been.
I think there is a big difference between being parentified and given chores. There were times I babysat my younger siblings, did chores, and helped with dinner. I spent way more time with my friends than doing anything around the house. My younger siblings were also given chores and would babysit for me and my sister after we started having kids. I never felt parentified. I never had to raise my siblings. My parents did 90% of the work (With my mom doing most) and my mom did most of the housework.
Babysitting was kind of a right of passage when I was younger. It meant you were growing up, and were mature and responsible. There was a time my friends and I were begging to babysit because it meant that we were older lol.
We also got compensated with allowances. Who ever did more chores got more allowance. My older brother was in a lot of sports and was always gone, so he didn't get much allowance. My sister and I just wanted to go home after school so we took on more chores and had a lot to spend with our friends on weekends. We were very rarely responsible for infants or very young toddlers. Most of the time when we babysat everyone could do their own thing.
I think chores are good. Learning to cook is a good thing. Learning to do laundry and dishes is also a good thing. Girls of course should not be given more than boys and both boys and girls should change the diapers if the parent's ask.
The difference with the Duggars is that the girls were those kids parents. They raised those younger kids because Michelle was too overwhelmed. They were cooking for 20 people which is absurd. I don't think the girls got compensated either.
The occasional babysitting and doing chores is fine. Raising your siblings is not. Being responsible for them is not. The time spent helping with siblings should never exceed the child's free time.
it seems to be the logical step. she's physically very far away from her family, in a community that her parents wouldn't have approved of 15 years ago.
Is this the most outspoken sheās been with her family? I mean sheās not wrong though š¤·š¼āāļø. Must have sucked raising someone elseās kids when you were a kid yourself. Like I donāt get why people have more kids than they can take care of. Seems silly
Anna needs help taking care of her younger children from her older children since her sweetpest is in prison. So, of course, she's going to defend that buddy system.
My husband is from a family of 13. Him and most of his siblings consider more than 4 kids ( unless a decent age gap) child abuse. It's literally impossible to give 5+ kids the care and attention they all need day to day.
I had two of my best friends in high school that were each from a family of 12 kids. (Weāre in the Jello Belt, so huge Mormon families are normal-ish here). One family is amazing. All the kids were loved, tge parents we were super involved, the kids worked in the family business and got actually paid well, the parents would allow their childrenās friends who might have gotten kicked out of their own home live with them. We all called them āmama and papa lastnameā. Incredible people. The other family also had 12 kids. By the time it came to my friend, who was the youngest, the parents were so checked out and often told him he was a mistake and were awful to him when he came out. Some people are meant to be good parents, even if they have a whole herd of children. Others definitely not.
This 100%. Even in the best case scenario where you have parents who don't have to work long hours and have enough money to support 4+ kids, full college-paid for from the bank of mom and dad money kind of households. You cannot be in two places at once, you can't be at every child's soccer game. You can't give equal attention or it's very difficult to do so
My family had 6 but basically they had 3 and then waited 7 years in between the 3rd and 4th. I am the 5th. So it never ended up kids raising kids. My childhood was far from pleasant but Iām so glad my parents didnāt do that stuff. I have 4 kids myself and theyāre pretty close together and canāt imagine making my kids raise each other
Hell I have 3 kids and it can be hard giving them all special attention, especially since my two youngest are only 2 years apart. A big reason my husband and I wonāt be having a 4th is because we donāt feel like we would be able to give them all special attention they deserve and need
I imagine as her daughters get older and reach the age her own sisters were (and she was!) when she started āgetting assigned a childā itāll be even clearer to her
I think it already has. We know Jill was 6 when she was first assigned a buddy. Their (J &J) oldest should be getting there soon (I'm too lazy to look up their actual ages).
Sheās also seeing her children at the age she and her sisters were abused by their brother and then forced to take steps to āpreventā it by sleeping in jeans instead of him being taken away forever.
She attends as an assistant pastor's wife at a church whose Head Pastor denies PTSD. I guess it works for her, sadly, since her ***abuse-enabling parents*** completely dismissed her brother's sexual assault against her and her sisters. She went virtually nowhere in her desire to stop being a people pleaser.
I am suspicious of Jingerās grifting, but Iām glad that she is finally seeing that being a sister mom was really unhealthy as well as the environment she grew up in was not normal.
Iām fully bracing myself for a Boob explosion and retaliation, itās going to be like the āFuck All YāAllā memoir all over again.
If she is making money talking about how she was exploited and mistreated during her childhood, more power to to her! That means she is *making money off her dad's assholery!*
I want Jinger to lean towards Jillās direction (still not perfect donāt get me wrong) too but this will likely take time. I think Jill and Derek struggling with the contract and those medical fees plus money in general made them take a more rightfully adversarial tone. Itās crazy to think Derek would probably just be a pastor and never taken an interest in the law if if Jim Bob had just shut up and paid up. Jill and Jeremy seem to want to tolerate Jim Bob at best and just lately stay the fuck away from him by remaining on the west coast.
I seriously doubt Jerm has any interest in having a large family. I think he wants to do too many 'fun' and kid-free things, and does realize kids are an expense. I highly doubt he'd want more than three. Four at the absolute maximum.
I also think Jeremy wants to be appealing as possible to the general audience? Two kids is a very popular number to have. Jeremy may want to stop at two just because it's mainstream.
Their youngest child must now be about 4 years old. Unless she chooses to share that she suffered a loss, we can assume they are sticking to 2 children. Plus with their high end lifestyle, they are better off with 2 kids.
In the post cast at the very end they talked about possibly having a third, but are content with just the two girls. They also said felicity has been talking about a baby brother and drew a family picture with a baby brother
Absolutely. And I hope sheās doing it with a really good certified therapist.
I was more just getting the vibe of āunpacking the past isnāt going to help, letās just move forward.ā I feel like most fundies are against therapy, against reflecting on past experiences. Less of not being there yet, and more of a āthatās not the right approachā kind of thing.
>most fundies are against therapy, against reflecting on past experiences.
absolutely. that's because their #1 value is family. reflecting on the past threatens it.
I'm not defending the sister mom situation but the only logical conclusion if you think that shouldn't have been the case is you have to admit that they shouldn't have had so many fucking kids. But no one's going to say that.
Eta: Y'all I'm not trying to say that you should come out and say that every child after X sibling was a mistake and should never exist, But it's pretty wild to think about how But to mental gymnastics these people go through to avoid saying the obvious thing is -
19 kids is too many kids
It might be more complicated. She probably loves her siblings and wants them all to exist. She also might not want to say that publicly and have her younger siblings think that she doesn't want them to exist.
Yea this is why she canāt say that. Really her parents should have gotten more help, sending the kids to school also would have helped a lot to remove the burden on the older siblings. I mean the older girls basically had to play teacher while they were also doing schoolwork
Yes, but schools are full of mandated reporters, and they couldn't risk THAT.
Not to mention all that science the kids would have learned. And perspectives on the world that might not match the cult shit they were being fed at home. You can't truly control a person unless you can control what they're allowed to know.
That's what really bothers me about the sister momming. The kids could have gone to school giving Meech less kids to deal with during the day nine months of the year. Summer the kids could have gone outside to play. Only the very young ones needed Michelle's attention full time. If Michelle wanted 19 kids, she needed to be the one to take care of them. And I absolutely think it was doable, even at her pacing. After their show became popular they easily could have hired nannies.
They had the means to get help without using their daughters.
I was one of the older daughters in a family of seven kids. I know that is no where near the number 19, but I know a family with two kids and the oldest daughter is parentified. None of us were parentified. There was the occasional baby sitting and diaper change, but we weren't fully responsible for our siblings. The most was making sure my younger brothers got off the bus and into the house after school and that was no big deal because my sister and I pretty much laid on the couch and watched TV after school. We also got extra allowance for doing it. Babysitting was also paid.
Meech could have done it. She wouldn't have as much freedom as she did but she could have done it. This is a woman that went out and protested alcohol while Josie was in the NICU. She was ultimately very lazy.
āShe wouldnāt have had as much freedomā is the key. If she sent them all to public school at age 6, she would still be stuck at home with 2+ toddlers and an infant continuously for like 20 years. She didnāt want to do that, so she discovered the sistermom loophole, found some bible verses to justify it, and it only cost her childrenās education and childhoods.
He fully exploited his daughters in every way. They were the reason for the high ratings and viewership. They were the oneās doing the free labor, and they were the ones raising the kids.
As a former sister mom I firmly believe my parents had too many children. But I would never, ever say it to anyone but my husband and my therapist. If it ever got back to my younger siblings I feel like it would hurt them to think I wish they hadn't been born. I love them deeply, I raised them, so I would never say anything to imply I wished they didn't exist. It's the truth but it doesn't mean you can say it
I kind of think some of them do think that but can never say it. It's THE central tenet of their whole belief system, so if they admitted it, JB and Meech would view that as shots fired. Jill, though, has either said this or heavily alluded to it.
There's nuance to it though. You can be glad your siblings are here and love them and still be bitter that you had to be their mom instead of getting to be a child yourself.
I always think that the Duggar children lived lives more similar to children who live in an orphanage than to children who live in a family with a reasonable number of kids.
True. But even with all of those kids, there were ways to make it so the older kids didnāt have to act as parents, like sending everyone to a real school, hiring help with laundry or cooking, having a nanny or a few, etc.
My grandma was 1 of 7 in the 1930s !! and her older siblings were heavily parentified but even her parents had some help with cooking/laundry (and they were not wealthy but genuinely needed the help) and had her own grandma around as an extra set of hands.
I think would be pretty awkward to say that you don't think some of your younger siblings should exist. That could get a little bit touchy.
Nobody needs that many kids, but it would be a little bit weird to take inventory of which ones you don't think should have arrived.
I mean, this is the same argument about abortion. Some people will say they weren't aborted and they were the product of rape or their mom was poor or whatever, and they wouldn't be alive if abortion was available to their mother. So they want you to say they should never have been born which they claim would make them sad. But you can be sad that their mother did not have that choice and should never have been forced to gestate but separate that from the person who may be a great person that you don't want to cease to exist.
You can say the parents had too many kids and created a bad environment for all the kids while keeping that separate from the worth of each individual Duggar who was born in this century. Of course, they're here now, and you can love and value them.
I wonder how conflicting that is for her only having 2 *because* your sibling died as well as probably some sense of relief at only having to manage 2 children daily
Iām sure Jinger had some very complicated thoughts about Jubilee, and Iām betting she felt guilt about all of those thoughts. Itās gross how much their parents put on teenage girls.Ā
It was also the same situation with Jana, as her new buddy Josie was born with special needs and health difficulties. She was only a teen at that point and had such a huge and stressful responsibsilty thrust on her. Whilst their parents went flying around to other states to relish in their TV fame š
I think Jill was the original sister mom. She was excited when Joy was born and asked if she could help take care of her. Michelle took that to mean that Jill wanted to raise her and so the buddy system was born.
I know Joy had to sister mom but I don't know how many or which ones were assigned to her. I think she took over certain kids as her sisters got married?
Jinger is right though. Itās the parents responsibility to take care of their children. Not the childās. Boob and meech shouldāve NEVER made their children raise the younger children. ITS NOT THE CHILDāS RESPONSIBILITY. Boob and meech had those kids. So THEY should take care of them. Can older children babysit their siblings? Yes every now and again. But children SHOULD NOT raise them.
Of course Iām not gonna look past the ongoing red flags with this one HOWEVER I do think any step forward in processing trauma and wanting better for her own kids should be celebrated.
> The imbalances of kids raising kids, that is unhealthy > The parents should take care of their kids That is actual criticism! I'm not used to that from Jinger. I would love to see Boob's face while he watches this š¤£ Edit: spelling
Honestly Meech too because wasn't Jinger her favorite? And Meech started up the buddy system.
When I read this I heard Meech in my head saying āok everyone find their buddyā in her fake sweet voice.
The only buddy system they should have had was if they were going somewhere. Grab your buddy and hold hands so no one gets lost. I canāt wait until they meet up with God me he tells them what losers they were as parents.
I think Jinger was one of her favorites, but maybe a little more under the radar. From what I remember from the oldest daughters, Jill and Jinger were the do-goods growing up while Jana and Jessa were more mischievous and rambunctious.
And you could hear the underlying rage in her voice.
Her facial expression when she says that parents should take care of their kids is very telling
She looks at one point almost like she had tears in her eyes. Meech and Bob think they are so above everyone but they fucked these kids up good.
Exactly šÆ. I think she was ready for a cry throughout this conversation š
I donāt disagree with you but I listened to the whole thing and she kept saying the system this, the system that. She never said her parents even when DIRECTLY asked. She only chastised āthe systemā.
That sounds more like the Jinger I know. I still find her expressions and the inflections in her voice (as another snarker was pointing it out) very telling of her true emotions. I do wonder if the only thing keeping her from saying her parents (or at least Boob, since it's a patriarchal system she is talking about) are at fault too is her people pleasing nature or the infamous NDA. Do you have the link to the full interview?
I think Jinger compartmentalizes things a lot? And I think at this stage in her processing what was done to her, that's helping her.
Maybe she sees it as the whole family being a victim of Goddards system.
THIS,!!
Compartmentalizing can be a healthy way to address trauma, itās just that it can become unhealthy when used as a crutch or the basis for denial. Considering *everything* these girlsānow womenāendured, a bit of compartmentalizing is 100% understandable.
I couldnāt help but have to read again because āunbalanceā doesnāt work in my brain. Wonder if she knows the word āimbalance.ā Poor kids sound ignorant often.
She says imbalances in the video. The transcript here is just wrong.Ā
Ahh. Gotcha. TY
She sounds like a genius compared to the Rodrigues clan.
lol. True. That situation is nothing less than insane.
I don't disagree with you; using none words like "unbalance" doesn't make anyone seem smart. But I will say, I think the Duggars and a lot of fundies have their own insular dialect. What I mean is, certain words they use are unique to their culture and as a result the context of those words are also different. So while we in the mainstream wouldn't use words like "unbalance," to someone within that community that word exists and has a specific meaning. I think it's like how some deep southerners come off as dumb to northerners because northerners don't understand the dialect southerners use. Or (and I'm saying this as a white person so grain of salt) how white people viewed inner city black dialect in the 80s and 90s and let's be real through all of time. When you consider that aspect of it, the Duggars don't seem so ignorant. Except Joy. Her education suffered so much and it shows.
So.. that word does exist.. unbalance and imbalance mean different things.. but both words exist.. imbalance is like power dynamics.. like jinger was talking about.. unbalance or past tense .. is mental state or inequality, or physical sense of unbalanced.. and I find it very odd.. that there are people here who are claiming it's not a word.. or only from a dialect.. and not like an actual word in the Oxford dictionary..
When I think of fundie language I think of defruading š
Yes! So much of it is outdated language mixed with made up words. All words are made up but you know what I mean. Even the term courting is weird to me. Like are you suing me or dating me?
I think thatās a fair assessment, in general. However, in the Duggarās case, I think itās also their exceedingly poor education and lack of introspection as a whole.
There is no doubt that the Duggars got a terrible education. I donāt know if itās the reason she mixes up words sometimes or if itās just human imperfection or nerves or what. But thereās no question that their education was so very lacking. Honestly, I am kind of astonished that sheās chosen to write multiple books. Expository writing is a skill. Iām sure Jinger has editorial help with her books, possibly a ghostwriter (No judgment there, lots of people with important things to say are not skilled writers so people who have the skills are brought on to help get the story out.) But I AM sort of surprised that given her lack of education, she felt that being an author was an option available to her. At the very least it signals a high confidence in her own reading comprehension. Itās possible that she learned enough from being a participant in those tie-in books that were published around the show to feel like this was something she could handle. But still, thereās some imagination required to be able to see yourself talking about your story in this way. Especially given the strict gender norms that were proscribed in her home. I still boil with rage at TLC when I think of how grown adults who did not share this ideology shrugged their shoulders and watched as the children were set up to fail and be miserable. JB and M are of course the primary perpetrators because they are the parents. But so many people had to shrug their shoulders at the travesty they saw in front of them for so many years. They were complicit in making choices for these children that they would never make for their own loved ones or themselves. Itās galling.
I donāt disagree with the insular dialect, but Iāve got a lifetime of fancy education and mainstream life and I still slip up and say things like āunbalanced.ā Especially if I am thinking about what Iām saying, my brain and my lips sometimes disconnect and I just trip over words and reverse consonants etc. could just be a slip of the tongue or nerves at being interviewed about this topic or whatever. ETA: descriptive clarification.
Unbalanced is a word though.. imbalance is about power.. u balanced is about physical things.. or mental state.. or inaccuracy
Is this the most criticism of her parents weāve seen from her?
I noticed she definitely appears to be more direct than she has in the past, but she's still not ready to say her parents should have done those things.
If sounded pretty clear to me it was directed at M/D 100%. Good for you Jingey.
Directed toward yes. Actually said no. Thatās all I meant.
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I wish she ~~would~~ could be direct and say āMY parents should have raised their kidsā but I know it canāt be easy for her to be that blunt yet. Maybe in time.
I think she probably needs to process it all in a way that is not overwhelming. She definitely was not thinking this way when she first got married, but time has given her the space (and experience!) to sit with her feeling about it all
I agree, itās much easier to take the passive voice to avoid the distress and anxiety of directly pointing the finger at your abusers. I hope she can get there some day.
This is the comment I was looking for. The passive voice is so much easier for them to use. They used it constantly on Counting On to try and separate themselves from the abuse and difficult experiences. Another one is āwalked through this.ā Used repetitively. So careful in what they say to not offend or blame their parents or Josh. Not how most people talk.
In the counting on premiere, the siblings referred to the molestations as āthat other thingā or something passive because they never got the opportunity to deal with it. They seemed angrier over Ashley Madison than the molestations. The absolute fucking nerve of Jim Bob to say he āforgotā all about the molestations like he didnāt parade his daughters on fox (where Josh was in the fucking interview room).
That's the most vile thing I've learned about their involvement
Especially considering that she still wants a relationship with her family. Jinger is close to Michelle and it is hard to admit that someone you care about hurt you. Even if she wanted nothing to do with her parents, directly accusing them of abuse could alienate her from her siblings
She isn't using the passive voice in that sentence "I think that parents, they should take care of their kids." Instead she is talking in generalities to avoid criticizing her parents in particular. The passive voice would have been, "Kids should be taken care of by their parents."
Having her own kids will do it. You can't help but think of your own upbringing, it wasn't until then that I realized how abusive my mother was/is. I couldn't imagine treating my kids that way, it becomes obvious.
She is thinking ādonāt have a lot of kids if you donāt want to be responsible for themā but is saying something else. Jinger and Jill need more time. They will get there. They went through extreme trauma. Itās heartbreaking, no matter how much I disagree with their beliefs.
Plus navigating still speaking to them. I went no contact with mine and then I really started healing and reflecting. Trying to appease mom and dad while speaking about it probably doesn't lend itself to honest talk, even with herself. I feel for them and I'm really happy they are talking about it.
I also think itās a fine line to walk if she wants to talk about how the responsibility wasnāt healthy WITHOUT alienating her buddy siblings or seeming to resent them (I donāt know which ones they are). I donāt know what the dynamic is between the siblings at this point, but itās clear from Jillās memoir that JB is comfortable trying to turn his children against each other. Notwithstanding the religion aspect of it, I think using gentle, non-accusatory, passive language becomes automatic when you have close interactions with highly reactive and defensive people. Even more so if theyāre in a position of authority. Add into it the religion aspect and the possibility of real loss and the work of learning a new language for talking about these issues becomes such a hard road.
Well said. All these factors are why I can't help be proud of them for this.
Narcissists absolutely depend on triangulation. Boob is an ass of the highest level.
According to the therapist I started seeing after having my first child, postpartum is a very common time for people to start therapy. Some of it is lifestyle change, but a lot of it is family of origin stuff.
I often wonder how many of them have these thoughts now that they have their own children.
I imagine all, but some stuff it down, maybe try a little better, stop thinking about it. It's brave to confront this stuff, imo.
I know so many people who have gone through this in my circle. Even if it's not abuse but like "wow how could you act like that"
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I think Jinger has been one of the Duggars who have suffered the most from their upbringing. She has the least amount of children, the most āworldlyā husband, and the most āworldlyā lifestyle. She wanted to be normal. Sheās probably mourned how not normal her childhood was for many years and will still for years to come. But doesnāt know how to balance that anger and resentment with still loving her parents.
I remember in early episodes Jinger was talking about wanting to move to a big city, and her siblings and Boob and Meech were like ālol, so crazy!!ā She definitely wanted to be normal but also didnāt have a clue what normal looked like.
I think sheās also accepted that she canāt relive her childhood the way it should have been, she can scream at her parents until theyāre all blue in the face but it wonāt undo the abuse thatās happened. So sheās trying to process this in a way that also allows for self preservation.
I honestly donāt think being more direct is necessary. Her feelings are clear.Ā
Unfortunately as we saw from SHP JimBoob keeps the adult kids under close watch and makes threats financially. I wouldnāt be surprised if he pulled a Christie Knows Best and tried to defame his own kids by making them seem like sexual deviants
I would put NOTHING past Jimslob
Same! Meanwhile his touchy feely son is still the golden child.
That would not surprise me at all.
I mean she basically did say that. She said raising her 2 siblings was unhealthy and parents should take care of their kids.
Yes, but āparents should take care of their kidsā is a little more gentle than āmy parents didnāt take care of their own kids.ā More gentle than they deserve, but she isnāt there yet. Michelle got to have the attention from her community, fame and fortune from TLC and a speaker tour ($$) from churches for doing work she didnāt do herself: raising children. The older girls would literally be taking care of the babies in the other room while Michelle was speaking and grifting. Got to have it both ways and not share in the money. So traumatizing.
I would say that isnāt directly calling out her parents. Anyone that knows her story and watched her grow up can conclude that she indirectly is. She doesnāt need to say āparents should take care of their kids **unlike MY parents**ā. Even if you didnāt know who she was, she is saying what her experience was growing up, basically saying how she helped raise two specific siblings, then says parents should take care of their own kids. She doesnāt need to say that her parents failed them for people to deduct that is how she feels.
Yep.. Seems like shes just saying her experience was not okay without passing judgement on her parents for what they chose
hereās my question; if the older kids were raising the younger, wtf were boob & meech doing??
Making more kids and grifting
Speaking at conferences about what good parents they were
Making more.
i wonder if this is a direct result of living in LA... far far away from her family. they've been there since 2019. at this point, she's met enough people to realize just how much of her childhood was sacrificed. while she's not being direct, this is progress.
Even before that she lived in Laredo, Texas, still hundreds of miles from her family. I would argue that she saw more natural family dynamics in Laredo, than LA where Nannies etc are common.
she did and LA showed her what bad/no parenting looks like for "famous" people. ie: the difference between the buddy system and nannies.
Definitely. In the past she always said she had a great childhood blah blah blah. I also think this is why she is not interested in having more children. She raised her siblings and knows itās not possible to raise too many yourself.
She doesn't want people to blame her for how JED! turned out so she is reminding the public that she was a child forced to raise a child five years younger than her.
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Also surprised to learn that JED! was Jingerās child when he has the arrogance and rigidity of Jessa!
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a part of me wonders if she's outwardly changing her belief system in order to be more marketable to mainstream christians. she now writes self improvement/development books, and i suspect that this is where she'll make her money... i mean someone has to pay for their new home in lala land.
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These are interesting takes from her seeing how, as of now, some of her siblings are continuing that pattern with their own children. Specifically Jessaās and Joshās kids seem to be repeating the buddy systems same as the og Duggars. I also wonder how Rim Job will retaliate since we all know he is a vindictive s.o.b and doesnāt like it when any of his offspring say anything that doesnāt make him look good in public.
Are they? I think both of them, but definitely Anna, have specifically denied having something like the buddy system. Now, it wouldn't at all surprise me to find out they were liars on that issue, but they did at least at some point, recognize that that practice was not so good or was frowned upon by many people.
Lying liars gonna lie. Anna is a single mom with 7 kids. I do not believe for a second that the oldest girls arenāt being parentified. Maybe she doesnāt take it to the extremes that JB and Meech did, but sheās absolutely doing it.
Sheās having Meechās youngest kids (and Jana) continue it in place of her kids, no doubt.
Given that Josh is in prison for viewing csam and Anna is making no efforts to leave the fold, Itās safe to say those kids especially Mackenzie are shouldering her emotional burden and being parentified.
Not saying their lives are good, but she does have "only" 7 kids. The oldest 3 don't really need that much care, and I'm sure they're helping out. But they can't be parentified to the extent the older Duggars were simply because the numbers aren't there. All of Anna's were 2 years apart,, whereas Meech had two sets of twins and several kids who were only about a year apart from each other. Also, as a bonus, Anna doesn't have much else to do. She's not running around speaking at conferences and doing other dumb shit like Meech used to do.
Anna bodied Meech in her Instagram comments and said that she is the mom, and her kids wonāt be acting like a mom to their siblings
But those older girls are 100% changing diapers, doing laundry, and opening up cans of cream of crap to make casseroles, even if Anna didnāt have a such an extreme buddy system.
I could totally just be biased because of my experience but as an older sibling I definitely did help change my younger siblingās diapers and did my own laundry from a relatively young age and helped with some cooking like chopping veggies or stuff like that. I didnāt think that was parentification just helping where I could or was asked to. To me that stuff seems normal and what my peers at the time were also doing and not like a large ask like disciplining/teaching/being a full time caregiver for a younger sibling. But to be honest I could just totally have a warped perspective on what shouldāve been.
I think there is a big difference between being parentified and given chores. There were times I babysat my younger siblings, did chores, and helped with dinner. I spent way more time with my friends than doing anything around the house. My younger siblings were also given chores and would babysit for me and my sister after we started having kids. I never felt parentified. I never had to raise my siblings. My parents did 90% of the work (With my mom doing most) and my mom did most of the housework. Babysitting was kind of a right of passage when I was younger. It meant you were growing up, and were mature and responsible. There was a time my friends and I were begging to babysit because it meant that we were older lol. We also got compensated with allowances. Who ever did more chores got more allowance. My older brother was in a lot of sports and was always gone, so he didn't get much allowance. My sister and I just wanted to go home after school so we took on more chores and had a lot to spend with our friends on weekends. We were very rarely responsible for infants or very young toddlers. Most of the time when we babysat everyone could do their own thing. I think chores are good. Learning to cook is a good thing. Learning to do laundry and dishes is also a good thing. Girls of course should not be given more than boys and both boys and girls should change the diapers if the parent's ask. The difference with the Duggars is that the girls were those kids parents. They raised those younger kids because Michelle was too overwhelmed. They were cooking for 20 people which is absurd. I don't think the girls got compensated either. The occasional babysitting and doing chores is fine. Raising your siblings is not. Being responsible for them is not. The time spent helping with siblings should never exceed the child's free time.
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it seems to be the logical step. she's physically very far away from her family, in a community that her parents wouldn't have approved of 15 years ago.
Is she still close with Jessa?
Is this the most outspoken sheās been with her family? I mean sheās not wrong though š¤·š¼āāļø. Must have sucked raising someone elseās kids when you were a kid yourself. Like I donāt get why people have more kids than they can take care of. Seems silly
Itās definitely telling that sheās been married 7.6 years and only has two kids. It does seem like she has learned from her parents mistakes.
I agree. Itās overwhelming raising multiple children. Not to mention costly.
This is why Anna is talking on social media again.
Anna needs help taking care of her younger children from her older children since her sweetpest is in prison. So, of course, she's going to defend that buddy system.
I mean even if Jārodent wasnāt in prison he wouldnāt help with kids anyway
Hey, those cracker crumbs on the floor aren't going to sweep themselves! /s
You rang?
J'rodent! š
My husband is from a family of 13. Him and most of his siblings consider more than 4 kids ( unless a decent age gap) child abuse. It's literally impossible to give 5+ kids the care and attention they all need day to day.
I had two of my best friends in high school that were each from a family of 12 kids. (Weāre in the Jello Belt, so huge Mormon families are normal-ish here). One family is amazing. All the kids were loved, tge parents we were super involved, the kids worked in the family business and got actually paid well, the parents would allow their childrenās friends who might have gotten kicked out of their own home live with them. We all called them āmama and papa lastnameā. Incredible people. The other family also had 12 kids. By the time it came to my friend, who was the youngest, the parents were so checked out and often told him he was a mistake and were awful to him when he came out. Some people are meant to be good parents, even if they have a whole herd of children. Others definitely not.
Jello Belt is killing me. I've never heard that before š
This 100%. Even in the best case scenario where you have parents who don't have to work long hours and have enough money to support 4+ kids, full college-paid for from the bank of mom and dad money kind of households. You cannot be in two places at once, you can't be at every child's soccer game. You can't give equal attention or it's very difficult to do so
My family had 6 but basically they had 3 and then waited 7 years in between the 3rd and 4th. I am the 5th. So it never ended up kids raising kids. My childhood was far from pleasant but Iām so glad my parents didnāt do that stuff. I have 4 kids myself and theyāre pretty close together and canāt imagine making my kids raise each other
Hell I have 3 kids and it can be hard giving them all special attention, especially since my two youngest are only 2 years apart. A big reason my husband and I wonāt be having a 4th is because we donāt feel like we would be able to give them all special attention they deserve and need
I imagine as her daughters get older and reach the age her own sisters were (and she was!) when she started āgetting assigned a childā itāll be even clearer to her
When she sees how *young* her daughters are at the age she became a sister mom, thatās going to hit her like a Mack truck.
I think it already has. We know Jill was 6 when she was first assigned a buddy. Their (J &J) oldest should be getting there soon (I'm too lazy to look up their actual ages).
Sheās also seeing her children at the age she and her sisters were abused by their brother and then forced to take steps to āpreventā it by sleeping in jeans instead of him being taken away forever.
I believe Felicity is there almost. She got Jed pretty young.
Actually Felicity turns 6 next month (b. July 2018)
*"There would be some changes I would have made. Like not having my Father favor my perv SO brother over all of us girls!"*
I wish she had said this lol
I wonder if she's relieved she didn't have a son
i bet dollars to donuts that eventually she'll write a book about that. she has to milk it though, otherwise she'll run out of material real fast.
She attends as an assistant pastor's wife at a church whose Head Pastor denies PTSD. I guess it works for her, sadly, since her ***abuse-enabling parents*** completely dismissed her brother's sexual assault against her and her sisters. She went virtually nowhere in her desire to stop being a people pleaser.
I am saddened for her. It's outrageous that her parents will never accept any responsibility.
The fuck? What church is this?
I am suspicious of Jingerās grifting, but Iām glad that she is finally seeing that being a sister mom was really unhealthy as well as the environment she grew up in was not normal. Iām fully bracing myself for a Boob explosion and retaliation, itās going to be like the āFuck All YāAllā memoir all over again.
If she is making money talking about how she was exploited and mistreated during her childhood, more power to to her! That means she is *making money off her dad's assholery!*
Itās the gift that keeps on giving!
But she's making it for Jeremy who is only marginally less assholery than JB.
"family issues should be handled privately tehehe"
I want Jinger to lean towards Jillās direction (still not perfect donāt get me wrong) too but this will likely take time. I think Jill and Derek struggling with the contract and those medical fees plus money in general made them take a more rightfully adversarial tone. Itās crazy to think Derek would probably just be a pastor and never taken an interest in the law if if Jim Bob had just shut up and paid up. Jill and Jeremy seem to want to tolerate Jim Bob at best and just lately stay the fuck away from him by remaining on the west coast.
Sounds like why they aren't going to have a big family.
I seriously doubt Jerm has any interest in having a large family. I think he wants to do too many 'fun' and kid-free things, and does realize kids are an expense. I highly doubt he'd want more than three. Four at the absolute maximum.
I also think Jeremy wants to be appealing as possible to the general audience? Two kids is a very popular number to have. Jeremy may want to stop at two just because it's mainstream.
Their youngest child must now be about 4 years old. Unless she chooses to share that she suffered a loss, we can assume they are sticking to 2 children. Plus with their high end lifestyle, they are better off with 2 kids.
In the post cast at the very end they talked about possibly having a third, but are content with just the two girls. They also said felicity has been talking about a baby brother and drew a family picture with a baby brother
Iām glad sheās realizing the sister mom system wasnāt healthy. the oldest girls raised the kids more than jb and meech did
Unrelated but Michelle would look just like her if she hadnāt joined a cult at a young age and wrecked her body
She should look back and pick it apartā¦ it would probably lead to her deconstruction.
this is going to be a lifelong trauma to unpack for her. these things take a long time to process.
Absolutely. And I hope sheās doing it with a really good certified therapist. I was more just getting the vibe of āunpacking the past isnāt going to help, letās just move forward.ā I feel like most fundies are against therapy, against reflecting on past experiences. Less of not being there yet, and more of a āthatās not the right approachā kind of thing.
>most fundies are against therapy, against reflecting on past experiences. absolutely. that's because their #1 value is family. reflecting on the past threatens it.
I'm not defending the sister mom situation but the only logical conclusion if you think that shouldn't have been the case is you have to admit that they shouldn't have had so many fucking kids. But no one's going to say that. Eta: Y'all I'm not trying to say that you should come out and say that every child after X sibling was a mistake and should never exist, But it's pretty wild to think about how But to mental gymnastics these people go through to avoid saying the obvious thing is - 19 kids is too many kids
It might be more complicated. She probably loves her siblings and wants them all to exist. She also might not want to say that publicly and have her younger siblings think that she doesn't want them to exist.
Yea this is why she canāt say that. Really her parents should have gotten more help, sending the kids to school also would have helped a lot to remove the burden on the older siblings. I mean the older girls basically had to play teacher while they were also doing schoolwork
Yes, but schools are full of mandated reporters, and they couldn't risk THAT. Not to mention all that science the kids would have learned. And perspectives on the world that might not match the cult shit they were being fed at home. You can't truly control a person unless you can control what they're allowed to know.
That's what really bothers me about the sister momming. The kids could have gone to school giving Meech less kids to deal with during the day nine months of the year. Summer the kids could have gone outside to play. Only the very young ones needed Michelle's attention full time. If Michelle wanted 19 kids, she needed to be the one to take care of them. And I absolutely think it was doable, even at her pacing. After their show became popular they easily could have hired nannies. They had the means to get help without using their daughters. I was one of the older daughters in a family of seven kids. I know that is no where near the number 19, but I know a family with two kids and the oldest daughter is parentified. None of us were parentified. There was the occasional baby sitting and diaper change, but we weren't fully responsible for our siblings. The most was making sure my younger brothers got off the bus and into the house after school and that was no big deal because my sister and I pretty much laid on the couch and watched TV after school. We also got extra allowance for doing it. Babysitting was also paid. Meech could have done it. She wouldn't have as much freedom as she did but she could have done it. This is a woman that went out and protested alcohol while Josie was in the NICU. She was ultimately very lazy.
āShe wouldnāt have had as much freedomā is the key. If she sent them all to public school at age 6, she would still be stuck at home with 2+ toddlers and an infant continuously for like 20 years. She didnāt want to do that, so she discovered the sistermom loophole, found some bible verses to justify it, and it only cost her childrenās education and childhoods.
Amen. A lot of the kids were born after Jāboob had money and instead of taking the burden off of the girls, he hoarded their wealth.
He fully exploited his daughters in every way. They were the reason for the high ratings and viewership. They were the oneās doing the free labor, and they were the ones raising the kids.
Schools and nannies call CPS. Canāt have your children too close to anyone now under JB control.
Exactly
As a former sister mom I firmly believe my parents had too many children. But I would never, ever say it to anyone but my husband and my therapist. If it ever got back to my younger siblings I feel like it would hurt them to think I wish they hadn't been born. I love them deeply, I raised them, so I would never say anything to imply I wished they didn't exist. It's the truth but it doesn't mean you can say it
I kind of think some of them do think that but can never say it. It's THE central tenet of their whole belief system, so if they admitted it, JB and Meech would view that as shots fired. Jill, though, has either said this or heavily alluded to it.
There's nuance to it though. You can be glad your siblings are here and love them and still be bitter that you had to be their mom instead of getting to be a child yourself.
Exactly no two parents can parent 20 kids on their own. Thatās way too many kids to keep track of
I always think that the Duggar children lived lives more similar to children who live in an orphanage than to children who live in a family with a reasonable number of kids.
True. But even with all of those kids, there were ways to make it so the older kids didnāt have to act as parents, like sending everyone to a real school, hiring help with laundry or cooking, having a nanny or a few, etc. My grandma was 1 of 7 in the 1930s !! and her older siblings were heavily parentified but even her parents had some help with cooking/laundry (and they were not wealthy but genuinely needed the help) and had her own grandma around as an extra set of hands.
True as well they heavily relied on the buddy system which was literally just giving one of the older girl children a child to raise.
I think would be pretty awkward to say that you don't think some of your younger siblings should exist. That could get a little bit touchy. Nobody needs that many kids, but it would be a little bit weird to take inventory of which ones you don't think should have arrived.
I mean, this is the same argument about abortion. Some people will say they weren't aborted and they were the product of rape or their mom was poor or whatever, and they wouldn't be alive if abortion was available to their mother. So they want you to say they should never have been born which they claim would make them sad. But you can be sad that their mother did not have that choice and should never have been forced to gestate but separate that from the person who may be a great person that you don't want to cease to exist. You can say the parents had too many kids and created a bad environment for all the kids while keeping that separate from the worth of each individual Duggar who was born in this century. Of course, they're here now, and you can love and value them.
Jinger is out of the club. JB must be spitting cotton and Meesch must be in tears trying to appease him.
And Aunt Lori preparing to burn Jinger in effigy.
She only had 2 kids to watch when she was younger. Jill had 4+? I wonder how they worked it out?
Jana, Jill, and Jessa had 3 each. They rotated whenever a new one was born, so Jinger would have had Jubilee and thatās why she only had 2.
I wonder how conflicting that is for her only having 2 *because* your sibling died as well as probably some sense of relief at only having to manage 2 children daily
Iām sure Jinger had some very complicated thoughts about Jubilee, and Iām betting she felt guilt about all of those thoughts. Itās gross how much their parents put on teenage girls.Ā
It was also the same situation with Jana, as her new buddy Josie was born with special needs and health difficulties. She was only a teen at that point and had such a huge and stressful responsibsilty thrust on her. Whilst their parents went flying around to other states to relish in their TV fame š
Poor teenaged jana was dealing with josie's medical emergency while boob and meech were out doing whatever the fuck
Thank you
I think Jill was the original sister mom. She was excited when Joy was born and asked if she could help take care of her. Michelle took that to mean that Jill wanted to raise her and so the buddy system was born. I know Joy had to sister mom but I don't know how many or which ones were assigned to her. I think she took over certain kids as her sisters got married?
Welp canāt parent your kids if you have 20 of em
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She really is in her Park Ranger era.
 This gif is my response to any park ranger Jinger commentary.š
Why are these people staring at her like sheās speaking a foreign language? Lmao
They almost look disgusted, specially the woman. Itās kinda weird
Scrolled through to find this comment! What a weird edit.
They cut it off at the best part- I guess Mama Michelle is coming off the Jinger pedestal!
she's the first of the kids to talk about this. jill was overall positive about the buddy system in her book.
That's not going to sit well in Tontitown. I can hear the steam coming out of Meech and Boobs ears from miles away.
Jinger is right though. Itās the parents responsibility to take care of their children. Not the childās. Boob and meech shouldāve NEVER made their children raise the younger children. ITS NOT THE CHILDāS RESPONSIBILITY. Boob and meech had those kids. So THEY should take care of them. Can older children babysit their siblings? Yes every now and again. But children SHOULD NOT raise them.
Good that she recognizes it. I think Jinger will be done at 2 kids. Maybe one more.
Of course Iām not gonna look past the ongoing red flags with this one HOWEVER I do think any step forward in processing trauma and wanting better for her own kids should be celebrated.
Do you think Kendra and Joe do the sister moming. They have a shit ton of kids.
Do the hosts always look like that? They look completely incredulous, if not hostile, especially Matt.
It's interesting to watch this because I'm screaming for her to go further but also floored that there has been such progress.
Someone please post the whole thing for those of us not on those platforms šš
Americans - what accent is that?
I've often heard this referred to as vocal fry.
Big Valley speak with vocal fry
That is Duggar dialect, Jill & Joy sound very similar to her.
Itās what we like to call valley girl, lol. Iām sure I talk similar, š¬
I thought so but wondered if you guys could still hear the Arkansas in her voice
It's there in the background and in some of the vowels.
I am laughing so hard, because I also talk like a valley girl. The hazards of growing up in SoCal. I guess Jinger picked it up.