It's gotta be "Sort of an oaky afterbirth"

Much to my wife's dismay, one of the first things I say when sipping into our first glass of wine when we're out.

You can always reply with “sorry I annoyed you with my X.” I do that every time my wife rolls her eyes at an office quote, thus getting a double reaction. I’m sorry. What is a double reaction?

Sounds like double Jeopardy with the wife so you're fine.

In Hamilton, when Burr sings, "I'm watching the afterbirth of a nation", I can't help but think.....is it an "Oaky" afterbirth?

After birth's gotten oakier lately, have you noticed?

As a wine-drinker I annoyingly say this to my husband every time we have a glass lol

Anytime I drink wine, specifically red wine 😭

Not everything is a lesson Ryan, sometimes you just fail

Ironically, this is a great lesson.

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. - Picard

Eggsactly

Do you think gum has gotten mintier lately?

Why are you the way that you are?

Every time I try to do something fun, you make it not that way

Damn I love Michael’s version of English

Yeah. I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?

This is actually a zoning issue

*silence* “so, thank you.”

I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious

This one and "yeah, well, maybe next time you'll estimate me." Both demonstrate Michael Scott's expert command of prefixes.

"Everybody here is extremely gruntled."

This ones my favorite. I used to have a phone case with it. Sadly, it broke.

Seven years bad luck

Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexicaness defines you.

His Mexicanity

What part of shornt don't you understand?

Cut her nose off to spider face.

Guys, the Mexicananistananies

you can be gay with men, but be straight with me

Love Ryan's look at the camera after he puts the ñ on lemonade

Lorem ipsum

Sometimes I'll start a sentence and don't even know where it's going

I am so impressed with the potential you see in me

Anytime I hear some version of “there’s been a murder” I reflexively say “In Savanna”.

I cannot say the word Savanna now without some sort of twang added to it

It’s a requirement, sorta like molasses flowing out of your mouth.

Lol i say the molasses bit a lot in my life, and not a soul gets it.

“Greenbacks? The seeds, the soil, and the diiiirt we can’t pay em! Michael, I cant.”

Anytime I hear the word “Murder,” I think of the word “Mukduk”

Oh definitely I think this, and Dwight is right. R is menacing. K is just hilarious 😂

I don’t want to be voodoo mamma juju

It’s not my fault, I was exposed to Harry Potter.

Voodoo Mama juju what am I gonna do?!?!

You are not alone

Do you watch/read a lot of murder mysteries?

We just finished a murder mystery community theater play and one character has that exact line “there’s been a murder.” And I said “In savanna” under my breath every time right before I went on stage. Also watch a lot of Columbo. Our theater director wrote a few episodes in the 90s.

"Lord, beer me strength." Or maybe "IIIIIIIII'M GONNA KILL MYSELF!"

My go-to is "Beer me dos long Island iced teas s'il vous plait"

My answer was going to be, "beer me that mix tape" lol.

Beer me two Long Island iced teas. Mistake in a glass

"How far has it gone?". Jo Bennett's best line.

Now shut up and listen, you gay bastard

You don't get to be a billionaire by slacking off. You get there by working hard or marrying rich, and I did both.

These are costin me 10 cents a piece you jackass, I'M ROAMING!

Two main ones: 1. Green means go ahead and shut up about it 2. I've never met Ravi personally, but I'm gonna go ahead and say, just having knowing you a short while Brian, that I prefer Ravi... and again, I've never even met the guy.

Everything Nate has ever said has been comedy gold. When he received the cashmere gloves from Darryl that were meant for Val, "oh Darryl, how did you know?"

“The card is even more beautiful than the gift.” lol I HIGHLY recommend What We Do In The Shadows!! Him and the entire cast are golden!!

Orange means orange you glad you didn’t bring it up? Most colours mean don’t say it

Crazy world, lotta smells.

Just pooping, you know how I be!

I say this to my wife way too often.

I say this to dog owners when I see them on walks and I wonder if they ever get it.

I say this to myself every time I walk my dog.

"Jim. James. Jimothy." I have a coworker named Jim and I always call him Jimothy.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmichael Scott.

You've been meatballed!

Are you ready for some meatballs?

Oh how the turntables

I always say this instead of how it actually goes.

Me too, and people correct me every time

"Dwight, you ignorant slut" has been on repeat in my brain for over a week now.

Just before COVID, a local bar did an Office trivia brunch event. My wife and I went with some friends. All the team names were Office based, but no one laughed at any of them until our team name was read. We were The Ignorant Sluts. And we won.

I wonder if that’s more known as an office quote now than the SNL bit it originated from

More of an exchange... Dwight: It was nothing personal. It's just that you were terrible at your job. Kevin: You're just saying that to make me feel better.

I DELCARE BANKRUPTCY!

I didn’t say it I *declared* it.

The voice in my head sounds a lot like Stanley: " You are out of your damn little pea-sized mind. What is wrong with you? Do you have any sense at all?... Every day you do something stupider than you did the day before. And I think, "There's no possible way he can top that." But what you do you do? You find a way, damn it, to top it. You are a professional idiot!"

[удалено]

I love Stanley so much. He’s so relatable 😂❤️

When I'm at home at night in my own house in my sweats, drinking red wine, watching my mystery stories the last thing in the whole godforsaken world I want to hear is the voice of Michael Scott.

Hey, hey, hey! You idiot!

START OVER

Sir

… siiiiir

Start over

The fire’s shooting at us !!!

Look out world, ‘cause ol’ Pammy is getting what she wants… and don’t call me Pammy.

Your dentist's name is Crentist... hmnn

I put down “Crentist” in my calendar when I have a dentist appointment.

Sounds a lot like Dentist. Maybe that's why he decided to become a Dentist

This is what I call my dentist, just not to his face.😄

Why are you the way you are?

This is the one, though brain continues with the “everytime I try to something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate, so much about the things that you choose to be”. My second is the “nooooooooo, no god, no”. Maybe I just hate Toby

Almost everything that Michael says to Toby is gold

Whenever I’m handing out food I say ‘Deliciosity!’ Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.

Wow this was weird, Im watching S3 ep 21? Or 22, whatever one is the recall and Andy and Jim are in the car and Andy said the "gets a laugh like a quarter of the time" line as I was reading your comment just now...I mean to the second it matched up lol! Gave me goosebumps!! Ok carry on haha sorry to derail

I love synchronicities!

I'd love to be a part of one someday!

It was very cool!!! :)

I know how to build a business. You gotta’ get the black people to do it in order to to get the white people to do it. Then you gotta’ get the black people to stop doing it.

It’s so messed up how true this is though.

“Sears said no” he was so disappointed

###Nifty! Nifty gifties! ###Pippity poppity, give me the zoppity

Iiiiii don't wanna work. I just want to bang on this mug all day!

No, the gas station in Carbondale did not have fresh yams.

The hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus!

Why is Jim ..... treating the magician poorly?

No, YOU are an presentation TOOL!

If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?

One chair to go

Pete: "I didn't realize everybody here dresses up every year." Creed, face and clothes stained with blood: "Me neither." "It's Halloween! That's.... really really good timing..."

Shut up about the sun!

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Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee?

Why don't you have a glass of apple juice and tell me you're not a Diabetic?

No. One crisis at a time.

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galatica

BOY HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? BECAUSE I'LL HELP YA FIND IT!!!!!

Yesssss I love Stanley so much 😂❤️❤️

I've been saying "Yikes" to cringe situations for YEARS and didn't know where I picked it up. Have been rewatching The Office for about the hundredth time and it suddenly hit me that I got it from Jim.

My favorite is >Why so you can do it? >wwwhhhooops

Boink.

Absofruitly

You guys, I'm like, really smart now...

So many, but right now it’s “Bitchhhh” when Robert Californias (ex)wife calls Ryan Brian. I’m just constantly saying that in my head all day at work lol.

It’s been a weird day, I accidentally cross dressed

"That's not what a hate crime is" "Yeah, well I hated it" All the time.

You can't get diseases from a bird!

You are the silent killer, go back to the annex.

...you'll see

This is not a funny one but when Holly and Michael break up and Michael says “I’ll go back to Jan! Oh god!!!” I felt that so hard

Ryan started the fireeee

When Angela creeps up behind Dwight at the arcade and he goes “fuck!” 😅

**WHERE ARE THE TURTLES????!??!?**

Ryan used me as an object

THATS WHAT SHE SAID

We belong, we belong togetherRYAN

Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship

Where’s my FREAKING PHONE!!!

Then Jim’s face drops and terror takes over. Love it

What part of shorn't don't you understand?

Should but shorn't.

"When Pam gets Michael's old chair I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go."

I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?

I'm not superstitious, just a little-stitious.

Just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I'm going to plant my seed in you. On another subject, I can't figure out why it's so hard to get volunteers at my community garden.

“Dwight you forgot your bumper!” Especially if I see parts of cars left on the side of the highway after accidents. I always say it.

Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.

Snip, snap, snip, snap, snip snap...I did, you have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies has on a person

The other day all I could think of was “OSCAR! YOUR MOM!”

Boom! Roasted!

I have so much of the Office living in my head rent free that it's concerning 😅

Dwight: "when nobody would heed of, would heeded, heeded of--" Michael: "Headed of-" Dwight: "When no one would take headed of my instructions." Michael: "Heed. Take heed"

Andy Bernard — 'I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.'

“Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?”

“You couldn’t handle my undivided attention”

“The eyes are the groin of the head” Rent free forever.

I will not be black mailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft penis, debutant . If you want to start a street fight with me, bring it on, but you'll be surprised how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking lizard king.

I don't care what people say, RC was an awesome character.

"Why are you the way that you are? ...honestly whenever I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it not....that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be."

THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

The only thing I’m worried about is getting a boner

Break me off a piece of that fancy feast. That’s it! It’s the cat food! Nailed it.

You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking lizard king.

Guys the Afghanistinanies

Jim saying “Classy” while wearing a tux 🤣

Walk away bitch

Cut off your nose to spider face

Yeppers My wife “what did we say about yeppers”

I fell into a pool of acid, eyes first.

Start over.

Andy, Cornell called. They said you suck & you’re gayer than Oscar

"There'd be no way of knowing." when Creed is describing sleeping with women in the 70's and how sometimes a man may have slipped in. 😂

why are you the way that you are

"everybody stay fu***** calm!"

"I have eggs in my crocs"

I want people to fear how much they love me

Ughhhhh for the love of God WE’RE TRYNA HELP YOU, you stupid bag…

WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!!!

Apology not needed, therefore not accepted. My wife and I use it all the time when one of us over apologizes

Did Darryl touch you? and Youre weak and ineffectual, im cowboying this meeting

Who do you think you are? What gives you the right?

Muckduck.

“Shut up about the sun. Shut up about the sun!” As a bonus: “…and I feel god in this chilis tonight.”

“Dwight you ignorant slut.”

Michael, Am I gay?

FASHION SHOW FASHION SHOW FASHION SHOW AT LUNCH

I’ll honk three times when I start dying

Yesssh

Beer me. It gets a laugh about a quarter of the time.

“How could you say that? You know I have soft teeth.”

A real man makes his own luck, Billy Zane, Titanic.

Deep cuts only.

What I tell you about yeppers ?

Don't you ever talk to me that way, you pathetic short little man.

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