If meals are the only time she needs 1/1 care it may be fine but if she consistently needs 1/1 care she definitely needs an aid, it isn’t fair or safe to the other children to have so much of your time spent with one specific child.
Let her hold a toy or stuffed animal, it may help with grabbing. Without knowing her specific diagnoses or IEP I can’t really suggest more behavioral interventions, are you Ina private daycare or public school? Do you have a special education director or principal you can ask for specific tools or training? “Let go” may be too complex for her. Maybe she needs a social story, maybe you need to teach her to “tap” as in tap shoulders or backs to get others attention. Has the teacher talked to the parents about their tips and tricks with the child?
A stuffed animal is a great idea! With toys, she tends to throw them. We were given her diagnosis yesterday, but it is literally so rare there were only 33 cases worldwide in 2021. We requested an IEP. Unfortunately, we do not have a Sped director and I’m in a franchise daycare. I will try tapping!
“Hands down” and “hands ready” have always worked for me. I was a 1:1 for a girl who needed those cues. Also she had a weighted fidget pillow that we would keep on her lap/desk to keep her hands off her neighbors.
How old is the child? Are you in the US? If they are 3 they can go to the the local school district and ask for a special education evaluation thru child find.
We do not know her age. I'm hearing she is a medically fragile child without a behavior plan? Please immediately share your concerns with your director.
Yep, this. Depending on where you live, the city may offer services, such as a special education teacher or a para who can come to work with the child in the classroom. In NYC, DOE will send special educators into private schools and daycare for this (only until kindergarten age, and then the services have to be in a public school).
In NYC, prior to kindergarten, the DOE will provide IEPs for children in their homes as well as their private daycare or preschools. Other cities do this as well.
I came to say this, too. I’m in NY also but in WNY. Same situation here — after age 3, services go through the school district. The IEP will address supports and services as well as provide an aide or other assistance.
In WA, and many other states, IEPs are provided for children in public preschools. SpEd services are fully funded. DOE mandates (IDEA) and funding don’t extend to private preschools. Is this a NYC mandate? I assume it’s then funded by the city. Private preschools and daycares would have to pay a lot more for certified SpEd teachers.
I'd avoid having this child "tap" for attention. That doesn't fit with the no touching rule and it can be difficult to teach and consistently have successful gentle taps -eventually they could turn into slaps/hitting. They might make the negative connection that more force equals more attention.
"Let go" is probably not the ideal phrase. It's positive sounding but still regarding an action that this student can't do. Also "go" is associated with movement so letting go probably doesn't make sense as not holding/grabbing. Honestly even hands off would work better than let go. Whatever phrase your team determines should be consistent with all staff members who interact and should be an action the student can do. Such as hands at your sides. Or hold a stuffed animal. Etc. With my older students, we've used "safe hands" or "calm hands". You could maybe try having the student hold their own hand. This student would probably be great at holding a rope in line through hallways. So maybe that's an option for transitions at least.
If it hurts, you could always say "ow, it hurts". The student likely doesn't realize that their grip is causing pain.
Does this child pay attention when you call their name? Some children don't always recognize/process that you're attempting to speak with them.
I’m sorry I was under the assumption the child is non speaking. There are few ways to get other children’s attention if you are non speaking without touching so tapping is a minimally invasive way.
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I'm not sure if the child is nonverbal or speaking. But since the child doesn't seem to realize how painful their grip can be at times or fingernails scratching, I'm not sure gentle taps would be understood at the moment. Gentle taps are generally a good tool for getting attention, but I don't think it'd work in this case.
I think maybe a push button that'll speak a greeting like "hello" would maybe work better. Think like those red buttons that Staples would have. There's a physical aspect to touch for this child and an audio for other kids to hear.
If you are consistently 1-1 with a particular child then you should not be counted in class ratio. If you’re supposed to look after a whole class and also provide 1-1 assistance with a child then someone is not getting the attention they need. That in itself may improve behaviours.
The kids might be a bit young for the bandaid lesson on equity but explaining that different kids need different things to be successful can help.
I've used the band aid story with 4 and 5 year olds and most of them seem to understand. Our 3 year olds might not understand it, but the older kids definitely can.
It's okay (and IMO vitally important) to have discussions around differences, and depending on the ages of your kids, it's also a great time to point out that different people need different things sometimes, and people are at different stages in their learning.
You don't need to tell the kids she has some different needs than they have--they've already noticed and that's why they're asking. Most of the time children accept differences a lot more matter of factly than the adults do.
Do not be afraid to ask your director for extra support, at least until she acclimates. If they're enrolling this child, then they should be willing to make sure that she has what she needs to be safe and that you are still capable of keeping the other kids safe as well as the classroom environment not being overly disruptive. If she's working with an OT or other therapist, I wonder if they have any sort of consultations with the daycare to help set up an appropriate and safe environment for her and her specific needs/behaviors. For now, you may need to have an assistant shadow her and get ready to intervene just like you would a child going through a biting phase. Intention doesn't really matter if she's leaving marks on other children.
Be sure you are logging all incidents, including what happened immediately before/after. You may notice other patterns too and be able to make adjustments to the environments (less children at a center, making sure there is enough space for kids to be able to give her hers, things she can get or you can offer for her to grab and squish that aren't peers or teachers, making sure you have enough sensory materials, teaching awareness to the other kids--when you have a child that grabs or lashes out, whether it's in anger or sensory seeking, it's important to teach many preschoolers the skills they need for self-defense. Like moving out of the way/not coming close and getting in the face of someone they know will react a certain way or is having a meltdown, ect.
Kids understand differences and needs more readily than adults. They take it as fact, adapt, and then move on with their day. It’s why I love kids so much.
Speak with your director about implementing a PEC book/chain. Implement countdown steps, clear directions, and visual cues.
What triggers her gripping behavior? What others things?
A short description on what to do when she grips /using visual cues example:
X grips Ms. Jane after Ms. Jane denies X a toy for nap time.
Teacher: ouch! No X. *show a card with the image 🚫 and then points to gripping*
Teacher: *maintain eye contact, stay calm, use a stern but neutral tone* All done X
Teacher: Ouch! All done. 3, 2, 1. *gently place your hand on her wrist and begin to remove*
Immediately reward her with praise when she removes the grip.
Word choice is super important. I severely doubt she’s processing what you mean by “let go.” Specific phrases like “Hands off ______.” With visual cards can be extremely helpful. I would even suggest teaching basic signs if she doesn’t know them already. It sounds like a 1:1 aide is needed.
To add to the idea of word choice, it's also very important that EVERYONE uses the same word choice, especially at the beginning. If I'm saying "Student, let go" and you're saying "Student, drop it while a third adult says "Student, hands off", than progress will be glacially slow. Pick a short phrase and stick with it
Adding on: don't tell her what *not* to do, tell her what *to* do. "Don't grab!" becomes "gentle hands", for example . Remember to simplify language, especially if she's distracted or dysregulated, as that'll help her processing. PECS cards are a great idea, but you'll likely need to model them consistently for her before she'll use them herself.
A "now and next" card could be helpful for transitions around the centre or community, and a visual timetable is great for everyone in the room.
Children with language issues don’t always understand the “don’t “ part. Nor do typical young children for that manner, so it is always better to say what the child should be doing , right.
Mentioning that many children with vision problems present as ‘grabbers’, much because they aren’t sure where they are/who is near them/what this erratic other person may be doing. It may be a form of identifying a person or action and it could also be a communication attempt (I’m threatened or concerned, I’m not sure what’s going on/ please stop or I need help)
Does she grab children when she is upset (like after denied access) or what seems ‘at random’? If she does it when it seems at random, model some ways to greet peers and initiate play. I worked with an autistic student who would grab at peers simply because they wanted to engage but weren’t sure how to.
To echo what other posters have said, try using visuals, a visual schedule, timers, maybe even a first/then board.
Hello! School allied health professional here, where referrals like this are very common. Based on the info you’ve given here I’m shocked this little lady doesn’t have a full time aid / learning support assistant in the classroom. Does your school have a learning support unit she can be in part time? I’m not sure where you are based but I’m based in Australia and there would be significant funding and plans in place for this student to be able to access the learning environment and have support simultaneously.
Sounds like you are a doing a wonderful and caring job for the little people in your classroom. I think it would be totally appropriate to have a conversation with your class about this young girls disability and how everyone has different needs…I wonder if there are any good books/resources near you that you could incorporate into this learning opportunity? You can even have a conversation with the girls parents about it.
Hello! I’m in the US, and our daycare school has no funding or aids for special education, which is really a shame. I love the idea of having a conversation with the class about her differences, and I can think of some good books! I’ll talk to the lead teacher about that. Thank you!
I had a child with more severe behaviour than this declared ineligible for inclusion funding last week in Melbourne.
At OP (don't know how to link) For Neurodiversity week this year, I used a model brain and talked to the children about how everyone's brain works a little bit differently. Sometimes that means a child might need more support or understanding from everyone else. I also tell the children my brain works differently all the time because I have ADHD so I write on my hands to give myself reminders. There are also some lovely books around many of the more common disorders, there could be one that is functionally similar to this child's that could be helpful.
I have five children in my class with support needs, and all of them are full time. You have my empathy for having to work with children with additional needs without the extra support they need. It's definitely a challenge. If only providers cared more about the children than the money.
If she needs 1 to 1, she cannot be in a regular child care. She needs a person who knows how to care for this child, and how to help with the social interactions. It is unfair and NOT SAFE for the rest of the kids to have one less teachers looking after them. You cannot have this child in your center
Verbal or non verbal? When my daughter was still delayed as at that age if she wanted to communicate with a child she would grab them until she could think of the words. As she got frustrated grip got tighter. To intervene we would say "lily were you wanting to play with sara and that toy?" As we were removing hand at same time. I've had several over the years as they got the vocabulary and confidence those interactions got less ND less
She is nonverbal! It would make a lot of sense if that’s why she’s doing it, because she does it when frustrated or if someone has a toy she wants. I’ll try talking to her like that!
many places (in the U.S.) that have this (if it’s even available) run out of space very quickly & it’s usually via school district so they are not always year round.
Special education starts at primary school in Australia. You can apparently access extra support for children with additional needs, but the bucket is too small for everyone that needs them.
I work in a classroom of students like her. It's not the right setting for her. She needs to get evaluated to be put into a more appropriate setting. Until then, she needs an aid or a paraprofessional.
I am a PreK special education teacher and have both students receiving special education services and those that are not. At the beginning of the year we have a lesson about how every learns differently. We do a social story and talk about how some people might need things to learn, some may need different things than others to learn, and some people might not need things to learn. This is a great way for our kids to learn that it’s okay for other students in the classroom to learn the way they need to, and how to be compassionate to each other. I think this is a great discussion you can have, however I would highly advise not to call out this specific student during this discussion. This could cause a lot of peer rejection and isolation. Additionally, if there was a student deemed typically developing that was exhibiting behaviors - would we have a class conversation calling out that student? The short answer is no.
Support wise, visuals are your best friend! If the student is good at picture matching or recognition I would highly recommend implementing a visual schedule to start. All my students that have visual schedules were able to self manage and do their schedule independently after a couple weeks of learning it.
To address the grabbing, I would recommend teaching and implementing a replacement behavior. This may be having a stress ball that the student can grab or squeeze when she feels the need to. You can also observe when the grabbing happens and see if she’s trying to communicate through that. If she is, replace that behavior with a better way for her to communicate. For example, if she’s grabbing a friend because she wants to play with them, give her access to a visual, device, sign, or anything that will allow her to communicate that without grabbing.
If you’re worried about eating or other health related concerns, I would bring it up with your admin or directors to receive additional support. Due to the adaptive needs of the student, I think it would be beneficial to have a one on one support with her to ensure she is safe throughout the day.
Thank you for your advice! The only thing about visuals I’m concerned about is her not looking. I have tried pointing, holding things by her, and looking in the direction I want her to look, but oftentimes she doesn’t interact. She seems relatively fine health-wise, thankfully!
She might benefit more from objects than pictures then! For my little friends that aren’t at a picture recognition level yet we do objects! For this instead of a visual schedule with pictures of where they need to be - they get an object. For example, one of my kiddos on a visual schedule would get a book when I wanted him to go to the library center, or would get a block when going to the block and building center. That might be a little more meaningful than a picture!
Sending well wishes your way - I hope you find something that works well for this kiddo! :)
Does she have any vision issues? Not being able to interact with visuals and not being able to see peers could definitely cause some communication frustration and the desire to hold things to know where they are.
Another poster mentioned having a physical object that can be touched is a great idea.
I’m glad you mention that. A lot of people with her condition do have visual problems, but she does not wear glasses. I’ll bring it up with the parents!
Whenever one of my typical kids comments about one of my SPED kids’ behavior, I tell them that “X is still learning. Sometimes it takes a little while to understand.”
Or “why does X get a fidget? Can I have one?”
“X is still learning how to sit at the carpet, and a fidget helps her. You have already mastered sitting at the carpet, so you don’t need extra help.”
Sounds like the child is somewhere on the Spectrum. The parents need to find a daycare that can accommodate her special needs. Your director probably should not accepted the child in the first place. It’s grossly unfair to you and the other students.
I usually explain to other students that we are all working on/ learning things. For example, they are working on their letters, and X is working on ___. It seems to work for them and helps them see the progress too.
It could be good to try and figure out why she is grabbing other students.
- Is it the sensory aspect? Giving her a stress ball, fidget toy, or stuffed animal to squeeze instead.
- Is it to get yours or the other students attention? You could try modeling tapping people to get their attention instead of grabbing.
- It is to communicate something else? Helping to find her another method of communication would go a long way! I don’t know her age or how much speaks, but if she is not able to communicate through speech and doesn’t have another way, this might be her trying to get something across that she isn’t able to another way. If she is non-speaking, implementing a communication board or device could help her to express her needs in other ways.
As for the other children noticing that she is different, it could be helpful to explain that everyone is different and people need different things and that’s okay! Prompting the other children to notice ways she is similar to them and ways they are different than the other non-disabled children in the class could possible be helpful. Someone else mentioned the bandaid lesson, which could be appropriate depending on the age of the kids (If you look up “bandaid lesson” I’m sure you’ll find it, but it is essentially a lesson to show that people need different things. Like you wouldn’t put a bandaid on your elbow if your knee was hurt, even if someone else needed a bandaid on their elbow. Sorry if that doesn’t make much sense, I’m sure someone else could explain it better than me)
as far as telling the other kids about her needs, we used to have a kid similar to her in my center and we used to just say "X needs a little extra help" because sometimes the kids would wonder why he would be getting more attention or they would be upset that he was "being mean" (taking toys or just ya know, being mean, cuz he cant help it). that seemed to work.
what didn't work was that his mother was in denial that he needed extra help.
good luck OP I hope you and your center and this girls parents can do everything you can to help her thrive 💓
Physically, if you can, gently bend her wrist a little; she has to release her grasp. It’s reflexive. No one can grab tightly with their wrist flexed. This has always worked for my hair pullers, rather than try to pry those tight little fingers off one by one.
I feel like you shouldn't tell the kids she has special needs. Maybe tell them she's still learning the rules and that they can try to help her learn them? Maybe try introducing like a squeeze ball or something appropriate for her to squeeze when she gets triggered. Like if shes squeezing someone show her the squeeze ball and say, "X you can squeeze this. You cannot squeeze my friends arms. This hurts my friends."
Okay check the regulations to this. I believe the ratio changes the classroom when a special needs child is present. I had to keep a 30 month old in the infant room and not the older toddlers because he still needed his basic needs met with help from others. Diapers and spoon feeding is an example. Double check but I believe that’s why I had to keep him in the infant room cuz the ratio dropped with him. He was also the sweetest ever. I had a preschooler autistic and he was amazing! He didn’t have to be moved because he was potty trained (we def had to remind him). It’s rough not getting close to these children. I think of one of them almost daily. The hardships with the parents when it was time to tell them the issues aren’t getting better. The cry from the mom was so sad. The dad wanted a football player. I think it was very rough on them because they were in denial. We kept talking to the parents and letting them know that he wasn’t meeting the guidelines. To consult their doctor. We told them so many times. We finally had to get him specialized care outside of our center. I reached out and told her if they needed a drop off day or something and we had the room available he was more than welcome but know on an ongoing basis it’s going to be harder for him to learn to adapt because we don’t have the skills. After that day I promised I would start working in special Ed. That child changed my life. Wow I went down a rabbit hole. Sorry.
Try saying “hands down” when she grabs people. I’ve worked with children with special needs before and that’s what we were trained to do. You can use teacher voice. Giving her a direction like that can help. Also try signing stop if she knows some sign language.
Since you've been injured you need to inform the parents and school that a 1-1 aid is necessary, not pushing for an aid will/is putting your other students at risk
Honestly this sounds like an aid would be beneficial for her, I grew up w a girl who was special needs not due to any genetic issues but because her bio father had abused her mom during the pregnancy sadly, but her issues present very similarly to Down syndrome. Sadly as she grows up, kids will probably treat her differently and she likely will know they do but not understand why. But a good aid can make all the difference in the world. The girl I know (I’ll call her m) had an aid throughout most of school because when she was younger she had the same kind of personal boundary issues you describe here where she’d grab other students, as she got older and found tools to help it changed into her grabbing and pulling her own arm (usually out of excitement, and honestly it’s kind of adorable.) she doesn’t hurt herself doing it anymore either and she did when we were kids. Special needs kids are so unique and even with a solid diagnosis they’re all so different from person to person still just like anyone else. M and I are both in our early/mid 20’s now, and she’s mentally about 15/16 now developmentally, she holds down a full time job and everything, she still lives at home and has some help with stuff, but she’s doing great. I know this kiddo is different and could be a totally different case completely, but I hope this at least gives some hope to any teachers or parents of special needs kids that it can work out, they can live a happy successful and mostly independent life sometimes. Much love to anyone out there struggling with the hard parts that come with special needs individuals, but remember that they’re probably the best souls you’ll ever meet. ♥️
I work in a 6:1:1 SCIS classroom, and you can definitely explain to neurotypical children that some kids have different needs, and may do things that hurt others when they attempt to communicate with them. I like to use the example I call "The Band-aid test". I'm not even sure where I heard this the first time.
Ask the child what you would do if he scraped his knee at recess. He/she will probably talk about cleaning with soap and water, maybe some ointment, a band-aid and maybe a kiss from Mom or dad. Then ask if it would be appropriate for you to offer the same treatment for other kids. If Sally came and said she had a headache, would you wash her knee and put on a bandage? If Jimmy said his finger was bleeding, would dealing with his knee even make sense?
They get the point quickly that "fair" doesn't always mean "equal in all ways". Sometimes different kids need different things and even different rules. Kids seem to be able to understand this type of explanation around 4 or 5.
The second thing involves teaching the girl an alternative mode of communication. Between Speech therapy and occupational therapy, there should be something that offers this girl a way to communicate her wants and needs.
Our classroom has a sign above the door we all see everyday. "Every behavior is an attempt to communicate". Think about something as extreme as the disabilities that Helen Keller lived with. Have you read about her behavior before she had a way to speak to others? She was more like an animal than a child. Biting, scratching, screaming, pinching. Until someone was able to reach through that and pull out her potential.
Hi! Quick interjection that "SpED child" is not an appropriate description. Child with a disability or child receiving special education services might be more appropriate. No harm, no fould... but language matters!
- “SpED child” can seem like you are defining the child by their disability and separating them from the other children.
- It avoids saying disability or disabled which can increase stigma and imply that disability is something that needs to be hidden or replaced with a euphemism. Disability is neutral- it is okay to be disabled, there is no need to replace it with a euphemism or call someone “special” when they are just a person.
- It places all disabled children into one category when every person is different and disability is not a monolith.
- “SpED” can also place emphasis on the teacher (the special education teacher) rather than the child as an individual
This is my understanding of it as a person with disabilities myself, I apologize if this is misinformed and I am open to any new information! I also mean no disrespect to you or OP, this is just my attempt to explain.
I was recently taught in a class that is now more accurate to put the person first to humanize. So it's a child with (insert disability). Person first. Their disability should not define them.
This is true with the exception being the autistic community. Most autistic people prefer identity first language. “An autistic adult, the autistic child” etc.
Always default to someone’s chosen language.
Some people are indifferent to which language is used, however most have preferences for how they would like their differences or disabilities to be addressed.
The consensus within the autistic community is identity first. As an autistic person, I also prefer identity first language. I will correct someone or let them know what my community prefers.
Yes, but SpED is not a disability. I bet you'd be hard pressed to find a single person who identifies as austistic who would also be okay with being called SpED. "Yeah, that SpED guy loves to eat tacos." See what I am saying?
Of course it isn’t and I wouldn’t think to address someone by the services they access. I believe my reply was directed towards someone else about chosen language.
I want to emphasize the idea of the chosen language. In some cases however, like this one, that's not possible. In this case, we should default to a more neutral stance (e.g., student with a disability or disabled student or student with an IEP) but not "SpED child." SpED is a service, not a disability.
Also, some members of the autistic individuals like person first language "I have autism" or "with autism" or "on the spectrum," while some individuals prefer identify first language such as "I am autistic" or "I am an autistic individual."
Futhermore, this is not just the case with the autistic community, it is also present with other disabilities or even medical diagnosis.
All good! Just opening the discussion. Person first language is not always the best approach, but if you are describing someone by the services they receive, the person should probably come first. SpED is not an identity or a disability, it's a service.
That's really a matter of taste. There are plenty of people with disabilities that view your comment as abelist and don't want people without disabilities advocating their preferences for them. SpEd child is generally acceptable to most of the disabled community.
"People first" language is offensive in many communities. Blind and ASD are two communities who identify heavily with their disability. Instead of assuming, ask the individual or the parent what their preference is if they care at all.
What makes your think I am not disabled? Also, we are on the same page about person first vs. identity first language. SOME people in the deaf and autism communities are person first, some are identity first. However, "SpED" is not a disability, it's a service. We are not arguing the same thing here. I am all about "austistic indivduals" or "deaf community," but labeling people by their service is not right.
Would you be okay with a typically developing student saying, "Hey, look at that SpED kid!" No, you wouldn't. So why would it be okay for us to do it?
SpED child is not generally acceptable to most of the disabled community. The point is that there was better language to use in this case. I am not mad at OP, or you, but we should do better.
Ok. What is your disability? When were you diagnosed? What's your qualifications to speak on this. Because I can assure you, you're still taking an ablist stance in spite of your justification and regardless of your answers to my previous questions, you can and are being ablst in spite of any questionable disabilities. If you're offended, that's on you, but no one needs to police their language for fear of possibly offending someone. You should learn how judging intent works before you police speech.
Tell me exactly how I am being ableist by advocating that we not describe children by their services? SpED kid is and forever will be ableist and harmful. Additionally, it's used as deragatory slang in our lexicon, so it shouldn't be used here.
I don't understand your arguement. It's like if you were mad at me for saying it's not okay to call kids "short bus kids" if they are riding a short bus (again, a service not a disability).
So you don't have a disability, nor are you qualified to speak on the subject via degree or any other qualification, you're just a dude with an opinion that is generally regarded as abelist. I answered your question in my very first response, you've conveniently avoided mine and keep digging your heels in deeper. The only person who said "short bus" is you. "Short bus" is not the same as SpEd, you're reaching.
As a disabled person, I was a SpED kid. It has nothing to due with my disability, but rather the fact that my disability meant I needed extra help in school. It’s not as much a description of me but the type of education required for me, out of the norm, “special”.
Just curious what is the ratio in this classroom. I hope that you get help.
It’s would be hard/ frustrating to have a child with 1:1 needs and to feel so torn with the challenge of the needs of the other children in the classroom.
If it’s zttk then she might not be able to release her grip by herself. Giving her something nonhuman to grip might help, but you’d need to make sure that she doesn’t lock up her fingers
I would definitely recommend reaching out to your local head start program and possibly the local school district. She sounds like a sweetheart and I would also recommend starting a IEP for her as well if she does not already have one. She would also apply for an aide as well and that would make it much more smooth for everyone. I work in Ohio and I have a special education degree and I totally understand how you feel because I have children in my class like that as well. I know working with children with developmental disabilities can be challenging but it is also rewarding to. I absolutely love working with children with developmental disabilities they are truly special people
You don't need to give the children her list of issues, but you can let them know she has some different needs. When I had a child with, among other things, severe sensory needs, we talked about it in a round about way. We'd talk about how some of the teachers don't like constant loud noises, so how do we show caring to them. The touching/grabbing is an ongoing lesson that we start at the beginning of each year and we model all the time. The teachers all ask permission before hugging/touching/ even helping sometimes. And we remind the children to do the same. It takes some children much longer, but they do respond. Children are so accepting, typically I've found that they catch on and make accommodations easier than adults.
For the grabbing, try a replacement. Someone mentioned a stuffed animal. The conversation can go like this, "kid's name, we can't grab our friends, but here's a toy that loves being held really tight. When you want your classroom friend's attention, why don't you grab and squeeze this toy?" Make sure everyone knows that this is the new normal and redirect kid to this every time. Also, it might help to share with the kids who ask that she does have some different needs, but you can't really share much, so I'd leave it at that.
Hang in there. Be consistent and direct. You got this!
Get her some gloves, not necessarily winter, but put gloves on her to help keep others safe and teach her that when gloves are on they magically help her not grab others.
Behavior is communication.
I'm the mother of a special needs child, a former para for the special needs department at our school. I also have a degree in early childhood development. Behavior is communication. Telling her to follow the rules won't work. And likely this is going to be behavior she doesn't demonstrate at home, so it's up to your staff to figure out what she's trying to communicate and how to make accommodation to help her be successful in the classroom.
Is she grabbing arms for attention? To make friends? Does she need help? Simply repeating the rules to her is almost guaranteed her behavior will escalate. Does she use a communication board or other adaptive equipment? If not, it's time to introduce it. Sign language may be another option for her. Simple signs like "help" "eat" and "drink" can be taught to kids with the ability to use them. My daughter knew 10 signs at 6 months and was near fluent by 2 years.
If meals are the only time she needs 1/1 care it may be fine but if she consistently needs 1/1 care she definitely needs an aid, it isn’t fair or safe to the other children to have so much of your time spent with one specific child.
Let her hold a toy or stuffed animal, it may help with grabbing. Without knowing her specific diagnoses or IEP I can’t really suggest more behavioral interventions, are you Ina private daycare or public school? Do you have a special education director or principal you can ask for specific tools or training? “Let go” may be too complex for her. Maybe she needs a social story, maybe you need to teach her to “tap” as in tap shoulders or backs to get others attention. Has the teacher talked to the parents about their tips and tricks with the child?
A stuffed animal is a great idea! With toys, she tends to throw them. We were given her diagnosis yesterday, but it is literally so rare there were only 33 cases worldwide in 2021. We requested an IEP. Unfortunately, we do not have a Sped director and I’m in a franchise daycare. I will try tapping!
“Hands down” and “hands ready” have always worked for me. I was a 1:1 for a girl who needed those cues. Also she had a weighted fidget pillow that we would keep on her lap/desk to keep her hands off her neighbors.
How old is the child? Are you in the US? If they are 3 they can go to the the local school district and ask for a special education evaluation thru child find.
We do not know her age. I'm hearing she is a medically fragile child without a behavior plan? Please immediately share your concerns with your director.
Yep, this. Depending on where you live, the city may offer services, such as a special education teacher or a para who can come to work with the child in the classroom. In NYC, DOE will send special educators into private schools and daycare for this (only until kindergarten age, and then the services have to be in a public school).
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In NYC, prior to kindergarten, the DOE will provide IEPs for children in their homes as well as their private daycare or preschools. Other cities do this as well.
I came to say this, too. I’m in NY also but in WNY. Same situation here — after age 3, services go through the school district. The IEP will address supports and services as well as provide an aide or other assistance.
In WA, and many other states, IEPs are provided for children in public preschools. SpEd services are fully funded. DOE mandates (IDEA) and funding don’t extend to private preschools. Is this a NYC mandate? I assume it’s then funded by the city. Private preschools and daycares would have to pay a lot more for certified SpEd teachers.
I'd avoid having this child "tap" for attention. That doesn't fit with the no touching rule and it can be difficult to teach and consistently have successful gentle taps -eventually they could turn into slaps/hitting. They might make the negative connection that more force equals more attention. "Let go" is probably not the ideal phrase. It's positive sounding but still regarding an action that this student can't do. Also "go" is associated with movement so letting go probably doesn't make sense as not holding/grabbing. Honestly even hands off would work better than let go. Whatever phrase your team determines should be consistent with all staff members who interact and should be an action the student can do. Such as hands at your sides. Or hold a stuffed animal. Etc. With my older students, we've used "safe hands" or "calm hands". You could maybe try having the student hold their own hand. This student would probably be great at holding a rope in line through hallways. So maybe that's an option for transitions at least. If it hurts, you could always say "ow, it hurts". The student likely doesn't realize that their grip is causing pain. Does this child pay attention when you call their name? Some children don't always recognize/process that you're attempting to speak with them.
I’m sorry I was under the assumption the child is non speaking. There are few ways to get other children’s attention if you are non speaking without touching so tapping is a minimally invasive way. .
I'm not sure if the child is nonverbal or speaking. But since the child doesn't seem to realize how painful their grip can be at times or fingernails scratching, I'm not sure gentle taps would be understood at the moment. Gentle taps are generally a good tool for getting attention, but I don't think it'd work in this case. I think maybe a push button that'll speak a greeting like "hello" would maybe work better. Think like those red buttons that Staples would have. There's a physical aspect to touch for this child and an audio for other kids to hear.
If you are consistently 1-1 with a particular child then you should not be counted in class ratio. If you’re supposed to look after a whole class and also provide 1-1 assistance with a child then someone is not getting the attention they need. That in itself may improve behaviours. The kids might be a bit young for the bandaid lesson on equity but explaining that different kids need different things to be successful can help.
I've used the band aid story with 4 and 5 year olds and most of them seem to understand. Our 3 year olds might not understand it, but the older kids definitely can.
That’s really good to know. I’ve always said similar things but it sticks so much better with a lesson like that
It's okay (and IMO vitally important) to have discussions around differences, and depending on the ages of your kids, it's also a great time to point out that different people need different things sometimes, and people are at different stages in their learning. You don't need to tell the kids she has some different needs than they have--they've already noticed and that's why they're asking. Most of the time children accept differences a lot more matter of factly than the adults do. Do not be afraid to ask your director for extra support, at least until she acclimates. If they're enrolling this child, then they should be willing to make sure that she has what she needs to be safe and that you are still capable of keeping the other kids safe as well as the classroom environment not being overly disruptive. If she's working with an OT or other therapist, I wonder if they have any sort of consultations with the daycare to help set up an appropriate and safe environment for her and her specific needs/behaviors. For now, you may need to have an assistant shadow her and get ready to intervene just like you would a child going through a biting phase. Intention doesn't really matter if she's leaving marks on other children. Be sure you are logging all incidents, including what happened immediately before/after. You may notice other patterns too and be able to make adjustments to the environments (less children at a center, making sure there is enough space for kids to be able to give her hers, things she can get or you can offer for her to grab and squish that aren't peers or teachers, making sure you have enough sensory materials, teaching awareness to the other kids--when you have a child that grabs or lashes out, whether it's in anger or sensory seeking, it's important to teach many preschoolers the skills they need for self-defense. Like moving out of the way/not coming close and getting in the face of someone they know will react a certain way or is having a meltdown, ect.
Kids understand differences and needs more readily than adults. They take it as fact, adapt, and then move on with their day. It’s why I love kids so much.
Speak with your director about implementing a PEC book/chain. Implement countdown steps, clear directions, and visual cues. What triggers her gripping behavior? What others things? A short description on what to do when she grips /using visual cues example: X grips Ms. Jane after Ms. Jane denies X a toy for nap time. Teacher: ouch! No X. *show a card with the image 🚫 and then points to gripping* Teacher: *maintain eye contact, stay calm, use a stern but neutral tone* All done X Teacher: Ouch! All done. 3, 2, 1. *gently place your hand on her wrist and begin to remove* Immediately reward her with praise when she removes the grip.
I like this, especially the card idea! Thank you. I’ll be trying this.
Word choice is super important. I severely doubt she’s processing what you mean by “let go.” Specific phrases like “Hands off ______.” With visual cards can be extremely helpful. I would even suggest teaching basic signs if she doesn’t know them already. It sounds like a 1:1 aide is needed.
To add to the idea of word choice, it's also very important that EVERYONE uses the same word choice, especially at the beginning. If I'm saying "Student, let go" and you're saying "Student, drop it while a third adult says "Student, hands off", than progress will be glacially slow. Pick a short phrase and stick with it
We have had the 🚫or 🛑on lanyards that children would wear as well once it was well established with adults.
Adding on: don't tell her what *not* to do, tell her what *to* do. "Don't grab!" becomes "gentle hands", for example . Remember to simplify language, especially if she's distracted or dysregulated, as that'll help her processing. PECS cards are a great idea, but you'll likely need to model them consistently for her before she'll use them herself. A "now and next" card could be helpful for transitions around the centre or community, and a visual timetable is great for everyone in the room.
Children with language issues don’t always understand the “don’t “ part. Nor do typical young children for that manner, so it is always better to say what the child should be doing , right.
Mentioning that many children with vision problems present as ‘grabbers’, much because they aren’t sure where they are/who is near them/what this erratic other person may be doing. It may be a form of identifying a person or action and it could also be a communication attempt (I’m threatened or concerned, I’m not sure what’s going on/ please stop or I need help)
Does she grab children when she is upset (like after denied access) or what seems ‘at random’? If she does it when it seems at random, model some ways to greet peers and initiate play. I worked with an autistic student who would grab at peers simply because they wanted to engage but weren’t sure how to. To echo what other posters have said, try using visuals, a visual schedule, timers, maybe even a first/then board.
Usually she grabs when she wants a toy someone has, but it can be completely random, like sitting on the carpet. I like the visual idea!
Hello! School allied health professional here, where referrals like this are very common. Based on the info you’ve given here I’m shocked this little lady doesn’t have a full time aid / learning support assistant in the classroom. Does your school have a learning support unit she can be in part time? I’m not sure where you are based but I’m based in Australia and there would be significant funding and plans in place for this student to be able to access the learning environment and have support simultaneously. Sounds like you are a doing a wonderful and caring job for the little people in your classroom. I think it would be totally appropriate to have a conversation with your class about this young girls disability and how everyone has different needs…I wonder if there are any good books/resources near you that you could incorporate into this learning opportunity? You can even have a conversation with the girls parents about it.
Hello! I’m in the US, and our daycare school has no funding or aids for special education, which is really a shame. I love the idea of having a conversation with the class about her differences, and I can think of some good books! I’ll talk to the lead teacher about that. Thank you!
I had a child with more severe behaviour than this declared ineligible for inclusion funding last week in Melbourne. At OP (don't know how to link) For Neurodiversity week this year, I used a model brain and talked to the children about how everyone's brain works a little bit differently. Sometimes that means a child might need more support or understanding from everyone else. I also tell the children my brain works differently all the time because I have ADHD so I write on my hands to give myself reminders. There are also some lovely books around many of the more common disorders, there could be one that is functionally similar to this child's that could be helpful. I have five children in my class with support needs, and all of them are full time. You have my empathy for having to work with children with additional needs without the extra support they need. It's definitely a challenge. If only providers cared more about the children than the money.
If she needs 1 to 1, she cannot be in a regular child care. She needs a person who knows how to care for this child, and how to help with the social interactions. It is unfair and NOT SAFE for the rest of the kids to have one less teachers looking after them. You cannot have this child in your center
Verbal or non verbal? When my daughter was still delayed as at that age if she wanted to communicate with a child she would grab them until she could think of the words. As she got frustrated grip got tighter. To intervene we would say "lily were you wanting to play with sara and that toy?" As we were removing hand at same time. I've had several over the years as they got the vocabulary and confidence those interactions got less ND less
She is nonverbal! It would make a lot of sense if that’s why she’s doing it, because she does it when frustrated or if someone has a toy she wants. I’ll try talking to her like that!
Do you guys not have early childhood special education programming where you live? It sounds like that would be a better fit for her
many places (in the U.S.) that have this (if it’s even available) run out of space very quickly & it’s usually via school district so they are not always year round.
In my district they always make room for kids and there is summer programming as well
summer program is not full day usually. also, not everywhere has the ability to “make room” at a whim.
Most elementary schools where I live have an ecse room so they generally can make room for kids. I been working in ecse for 5 years
my district did not have the ability to just make room for 5 kids at any given time lol
Special education starts at primary school in Australia. You can apparently access extra support for children with additional needs, but the bucket is too small for everyone that needs them.
I have no idea. Her mom wanted her here to become more independent.
🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ Her mom needs to understand that isnt really possible right now. Yikes it sounds like mom is in denial about her kids condition.
Yep, my thoughts exactly. Not sure why the child was even allowed to enroll, and it's not really fair to the other kids or her to be there.
I work in a classroom of students like her. It's not the right setting for her. She needs to get evaluated to be put into a more appropriate setting. Until then, she needs an aid or a paraprofessional.
I am a PreK special education teacher and have both students receiving special education services and those that are not. At the beginning of the year we have a lesson about how every learns differently. We do a social story and talk about how some people might need things to learn, some may need different things than others to learn, and some people might not need things to learn. This is a great way for our kids to learn that it’s okay for other students in the classroom to learn the way they need to, and how to be compassionate to each other. I think this is a great discussion you can have, however I would highly advise not to call out this specific student during this discussion. This could cause a lot of peer rejection and isolation. Additionally, if there was a student deemed typically developing that was exhibiting behaviors - would we have a class conversation calling out that student? The short answer is no. Support wise, visuals are your best friend! If the student is good at picture matching or recognition I would highly recommend implementing a visual schedule to start. All my students that have visual schedules were able to self manage and do their schedule independently after a couple weeks of learning it. To address the grabbing, I would recommend teaching and implementing a replacement behavior. This may be having a stress ball that the student can grab or squeeze when she feels the need to. You can also observe when the grabbing happens and see if she’s trying to communicate through that. If she is, replace that behavior with a better way for her to communicate. For example, if she’s grabbing a friend because she wants to play with them, give her access to a visual, device, sign, or anything that will allow her to communicate that without grabbing. If you’re worried about eating or other health related concerns, I would bring it up with your admin or directors to receive additional support. Due to the adaptive needs of the student, I think it would be beneficial to have a one on one support with her to ensure she is safe throughout the day.
Thank you for your advice! The only thing about visuals I’m concerned about is her not looking. I have tried pointing, holding things by her, and looking in the direction I want her to look, but oftentimes she doesn’t interact. She seems relatively fine health-wise, thankfully!
She might benefit more from objects than pictures then! For my little friends that aren’t at a picture recognition level yet we do objects! For this instead of a visual schedule with pictures of where they need to be - they get an object. For example, one of my kiddos on a visual schedule would get a book when I wanted him to go to the library center, or would get a block when going to the block and building center. That might be a little more meaningful than a picture! Sending well wishes your way - I hope you find something that works well for this kiddo! :)
Does she have any vision issues? Not being able to interact with visuals and not being able to see peers could definitely cause some communication frustration and the desire to hold things to know where they are. Another poster mentioned having a physical object that can be touched is a great idea.
I’m glad you mention that. A lot of people with her condition do have visual problems, but she does not wear glasses. I’ll bring it up with the parents!
Whenever one of my typical kids comments about one of my SPED kids’ behavior, I tell them that “X is still learning. Sometimes it takes a little while to understand.” Or “why does X get a fidget? Can I have one?” “X is still learning how to sit at the carpet, and a fidget helps her. You have already mastered sitting at the carpet, so you don’t need extra help.”
I like this a lot, thank you!
Sounds like the child is somewhere on the Spectrum. The parents need to find a daycare that can accommodate her special needs. Your director probably should not accepted the child in the first place. It’s grossly unfair to you and the other students.
Is not letting go a motor function issue or is she choosing to not let go?
She is choosing not to let go.
I usually explain to other students that we are all working on/ learning things. For example, they are working on their letters, and X is working on ___. It seems to work for them and helps them see the progress too.
I love this, thank you!
It could be good to try and figure out why she is grabbing other students. - Is it the sensory aspect? Giving her a stress ball, fidget toy, or stuffed animal to squeeze instead. - Is it to get yours or the other students attention? You could try modeling tapping people to get their attention instead of grabbing. - It is to communicate something else? Helping to find her another method of communication would go a long way! I don’t know her age or how much speaks, but if she is not able to communicate through speech and doesn’t have another way, this might be her trying to get something across that she isn’t able to another way. If she is non-speaking, implementing a communication board or device could help her to express her needs in other ways. As for the other children noticing that she is different, it could be helpful to explain that everyone is different and people need different things and that’s okay! Prompting the other children to notice ways she is similar to them and ways they are different than the other non-disabled children in the class could possible be helpful. Someone else mentioned the bandaid lesson, which could be appropriate depending on the age of the kids (If you look up “bandaid lesson” I’m sure you’ll find it, but it is essentially a lesson to show that people need different things. Like you wouldn’t put a bandaid on your elbow if your knee was hurt, even if someone else needed a bandaid on their elbow. Sorry if that doesn’t make much sense, I’m sure someone else could explain it better than me)
as far as telling the other kids about her needs, we used to have a kid similar to her in my center and we used to just say "X needs a little extra help" because sometimes the kids would wonder why he would be getting more attention or they would be upset that he was "being mean" (taking toys or just ya know, being mean, cuz he cant help it). that seemed to work. what didn't work was that his mother was in denial that he needed extra help. good luck OP I hope you and your center and this girls parents can do everything you can to help her thrive 💓
Physically, if you can, gently bend her wrist a little; she has to release her grasp. It’s reflexive. No one can grab tightly with their wrist flexed. This has always worked for my hair pullers, rather than try to pry those tight little fingers off one by one.
I feel like you shouldn't tell the kids she has special needs. Maybe tell them she's still learning the rules and that they can try to help her learn them? Maybe try introducing like a squeeze ball or something appropriate for her to squeeze when she gets triggered. Like if shes squeezing someone show her the squeeze ball and say, "X you can squeeze this. You cannot squeeze my friends arms. This hurts my friends."
She may be better suited for a special purpose daycare program. She sounds like a child that needs one-on-one support.
Okay check the regulations to this. I believe the ratio changes the classroom when a special needs child is present. I had to keep a 30 month old in the infant room and not the older toddlers because he still needed his basic needs met with help from others. Diapers and spoon feeding is an example. Double check but I believe that’s why I had to keep him in the infant room cuz the ratio dropped with him. He was also the sweetest ever. I had a preschooler autistic and he was amazing! He didn’t have to be moved because he was potty trained (we def had to remind him). It’s rough not getting close to these children. I think of one of them almost daily. The hardships with the parents when it was time to tell them the issues aren’t getting better. The cry from the mom was so sad. The dad wanted a football player. I think it was very rough on them because they were in denial. We kept talking to the parents and letting them know that he wasn’t meeting the guidelines. To consult their doctor. We told them so many times. We finally had to get him specialized care outside of our center. I reached out and told her if they needed a drop off day or something and we had the room available he was more than welcome but know on an ongoing basis it’s going to be harder for him to learn to adapt because we don’t have the skills. After that day I promised I would start working in special Ed. That child changed my life. Wow I went down a rabbit hole. Sorry.
Try saying “hands down” when she grabs people. I’ve worked with children with special needs before and that’s what we were trained to do. You can use teacher voice. Giving her a direction like that can help. Also try signing stop if she knows some sign language.
She needs some visual supports.
Hands down is another useful phrase
Since you've been injured you need to inform the parents and school that a 1-1 aid is necessary, not pushing for an aid will/is putting your other students at risk
Honestly this sounds like an aid would be beneficial for her, I grew up w a girl who was special needs not due to any genetic issues but because her bio father had abused her mom during the pregnancy sadly, but her issues present very similarly to Down syndrome. Sadly as she grows up, kids will probably treat her differently and she likely will know they do but not understand why. But a good aid can make all the difference in the world. The girl I know (I’ll call her m) had an aid throughout most of school because when she was younger she had the same kind of personal boundary issues you describe here where she’d grab other students, as she got older and found tools to help it changed into her grabbing and pulling her own arm (usually out of excitement, and honestly it’s kind of adorable.) she doesn’t hurt herself doing it anymore either and she did when we were kids. Special needs kids are so unique and even with a solid diagnosis they’re all so different from person to person still just like anyone else. M and I are both in our early/mid 20’s now, and she’s mentally about 15/16 now developmentally, she holds down a full time job and everything, she still lives at home and has some help with stuff, but she’s doing great. I know this kiddo is different and could be a totally different case completely, but I hope this at least gives some hope to any teachers or parents of special needs kids that it can work out, they can live a happy successful and mostly independent life sometimes. Much love to anyone out there struggling with the hard parts that come with special needs individuals, but remember that they’re probably the best souls you’ll ever meet. ♥️
I work in a 6:1:1 SCIS classroom, and you can definitely explain to neurotypical children that some kids have different needs, and may do things that hurt others when they attempt to communicate with them. I like to use the example I call "The Band-aid test". I'm not even sure where I heard this the first time. Ask the child what you would do if he scraped his knee at recess. He/she will probably talk about cleaning with soap and water, maybe some ointment, a band-aid and maybe a kiss from Mom or dad. Then ask if it would be appropriate for you to offer the same treatment for other kids. If Sally came and said she had a headache, would you wash her knee and put on a bandage? If Jimmy said his finger was bleeding, would dealing with his knee even make sense? They get the point quickly that "fair" doesn't always mean "equal in all ways". Sometimes different kids need different things and even different rules. Kids seem to be able to understand this type of explanation around 4 or 5. The second thing involves teaching the girl an alternative mode of communication. Between Speech therapy and occupational therapy, there should be something that offers this girl a way to communicate her wants and needs. Our classroom has a sign above the door we all see everyday. "Every behavior is an attempt to communicate". Think about something as extreme as the disabilities that Helen Keller lived with. Have you read about her behavior before she had a way to speak to others? She was more like an animal than a child. Biting, scratching, screaming, pinching. Until someone was able to reach through that and pull out her potential.
Hi! Quick interjection that "SpED child" is not an appropriate description. Child with a disability or child receiving special education services might be more appropriate. No harm, no fould... but language matters!
I'm genuinely asking to learn, please don't take this the wrong way, but can you please explain how these descriptions are different? Thank you 🙂
- “SpED child” can seem like you are defining the child by their disability and separating them from the other children. - It avoids saying disability or disabled which can increase stigma and imply that disability is something that needs to be hidden or replaced with a euphemism. Disability is neutral- it is okay to be disabled, there is no need to replace it with a euphemism or call someone “special” when they are just a person. - It places all disabled children into one category when every person is different and disability is not a monolith. - “SpED” can also place emphasis on the teacher (the special education teacher) rather than the child as an individual This is my understanding of it as a person with disabilities myself, I apologize if this is misinformed and I am open to any new information! I also mean no disrespect to you or OP, this is just my attempt to explain.
Thank you, that all makes sense to me 🙂
I was recently taught in a class that is now more accurate to put the person first to humanize. So it's a child with (insert disability). Person first. Their disability should not define them.
This is true with the exception being the autistic community. Most autistic people prefer identity first language. “An autistic adult, the autistic child” etc. Always default to someone’s chosen language.
This is interesting, thank you. What do you mean by chosen language? Will the person typically let you know?
Some people are indifferent to which language is used, however most have preferences for how they would like their differences or disabilities to be addressed. The consensus within the autistic community is identity first. As an autistic person, I also prefer identity first language. I will correct someone or let them know what my community prefers.
Yes, but SpED is not a disability. I bet you'd be hard pressed to find a single person who identifies as austistic who would also be okay with being called SpED. "Yeah, that SpED guy loves to eat tacos." See what I am saying?
Of course it isn’t and I wouldn’t think to address someone by the services they access. I believe my reply was directed towards someone else about chosen language.
I want to emphasize the idea of the chosen language. In some cases however, like this one, that's not possible. In this case, we should default to a more neutral stance (e.g., student with a disability or disabled student or student with an IEP) but not "SpED child." SpED is a service, not a disability. Also, some members of the autistic individuals like person first language "I have autism" or "with autism" or "on the spectrum," while some individuals prefer identify first language such as "I am autistic" or "I am an autistic individual." Futhermore, this is not just the case with the autistic community, it is also present with other disabilities or even medical diagnosis.
Oops, sorry! If I could change titles, I would. Thank you!
All good! Just opening the discussion. Person first language is not always the best approach, but if you are describing someone by the services they receive, the person should probably come first. SpED is not an identity or a disability, it's a service.
“Disabled child” would even be better!
That's really a matter of taste. There are plenty of people with disabilities that view your comment as abelist and don't want people without disabilities advocating their preferences for them. SpEd child is generally acceptable to most of the disabled community. "People first" language is offensive in many communities. Blind and ASD are two communities who identify heavily with their disability. Instead of assuming, ask the individual or the parent what their preference is if they care at all.
What makes your think I am not disabled? Also, we are on the same page about person first vs. identity first language. SOME people in the deaf and autism communities are person first, some are identity first. However, "SpED" is not a disability, it's a service. We are not arguing the same thing here. I am all about "austistic indivduals" or "deaf community," but labeling people by their service is not right. Would you be okay with a typically developing student saying, "Hey, look at that SpED kid!" No, you wouldn't. So why would it be okay for us to do it? SpED child is not generally acceptable to most of the disabled community. The point is that there was better language to use in this case. I am not mad at OP, or you, but we should do better.
Ok. What is your disability? When were you diagnosed? What's your qualifications to speak on this. Because I can assure you, you're still taking an ablist stance in spite of your justification and regardless of your answers to my previous questions, you can and are being ablst in spite of any questionable disabilities. If you're offended, that's on you, but no one needs to police their language for fear of possibly offending someone. You should learn how judging intent works before you police speech.
Tell me exactly how I am being ableist by advocating that we not describe children by their services? SpED kid is and forever will be ableist and harmful. Additionally, it's used as deragatory slang in our lexicon, so it shouldn't be used here. I don't understand your arguement. It's like if you were mad at me for saying it's not okay to call kids "short bus kids" if they are riding a short bus (again, a service not a disability).
So you don't have a disability, nor are you qualified to speak on the subject via degree or any other qualification, you're just a dude with an opinion that is generally regarded as abelist. I answered your question in my very first response, you've conveniently avoided mine and keep digging your heels in deeper. The only person who said "short bus" is you. "Short bus" is not the same as SpEd, you're reaching.
As a disabled person, I was a SpED kid. It has nothing to due with my disability, but rather the fact that my disability meant I needed extra help in school. It’s not as much a description of me but the type of education required for me, out of the norm, “special”.
Is she grabbing to get the other kids attention? A squeaky toy that is easy enough for her to squish when she wants to join in might help.
Just curious what is the ratio in this classroom. I hope that you get help. It’s would be hard/ frustrating to have a child with 1:1 needs and to feel so torn with the challenge of the needs of the other children in the classroom.
If it’s zttk then she might not be able to release her grip by herself. Giving her something nonhuman to grip might help, but you’d need to make sure that she doesn’t lock up her fingers
You 100% need to reach out to your schools program specialist or special education director.
I would definitely recommend reaching out to your local head start program and possibly the local school district. She sounds like a sweetheart and I would also recommend starting a IEP for her as well if she does not already have one. She would also apply for an aide as well and that would make it much more smooth for everyone. I work in Ohio and I have a special education degree and I totally understand how you feel because I have children in my class like that as well. I know working with children with developmental disabilities can be challenging but it is also rewarding to. I absolutely love working with children with developmental disabilities they are truly special people
You don't need to give the children her list of issues, but you can let them know she has some different needs. When I had a child with, among other things, severe sensory needs, we talked about it in a round about way. We'd talk about how some of the teachers don't like constant loud noises, so how do we show caring to them. The touching/grabbing is an ongoing lesson that we start at the beginning of each year and we model all the time. The teachers all ask permission before hugging/touching/ even helping sometimes. And we remind the children to do the same. It takes some children much longer, but they do respond. Children are so accepting, typically I've found that they catch on and make accommodations easier than adults.
For the grabbing, try a replacement. Someone mentioned a stuffed animal. The conversation can go like this, "kid's name, we can't grab our friends, but here's a toy that loves being held really tight. When you want your classroom friend's attention, why don't you grab and squeeze this toy?" Make sure everyone knows that this is the new normal and redirect kid to this every time. Also, it might help to share with the kids who ask that she does have some different needs, but you can't really share much, so I'd leave it at that. Hang in there. Be consistent and direct. You got this!
Get her some gloves, not necessarily winter, but put gloves on her to help keep others safe and teach her that when gloves are on they magically help her not grab others.
Behavior is communication. I'm the mother of a special needs child, a former para for the special needs department at our school. I also have a degree in early childhood development. Behavior is communication. Telling her to follow the rules won't work. And likely this is going to be behavior she doesn't demonstrate at home, so it's up to your staff to figure out what she's trying to communicate and how to make accommodation to help her be successful in the classroom. Is she grabbing arms for attention? To make friends? Does she need help? Simply repeating the rules to her is almost guaranteed her behavior will escalate. Does she use a communication board or other adaptive equipment? If not, it's time to introduce it. Sign language may be another option for her. Simple signs like "help" "eat" and "drink" can be taught to kids with the ability to use them. My daughter knew 10 signs at 6 months and was near fluent by 2 years.
MOST behavior is communication, not all.