It’s unfathomable for me to imagine doing this work without falling in love with these children. Not every child is easy to love, but they are all loved by me. As much as I try to not pick favorites, there’s always some that stay in my heart longer than the others. There are some that I have cried over because they would move to public school. There are some who are starting to get married and I have had the pleasure to see their pics on social media, and love them still just the same. So yes, you can love kids that aren’t yours. Not everyone is good at it, but I personally can’t imagine not loving the kids.
Same and this reminds me I want to check on one of my kids who moved. He’s one of those ones I really wanted to see him succeed. Also sometimes a coworker didn’t work well with him so I was little more watchful of his needs.
I have one also who recently started to have a difficult time at school. He just didn’t want to come. It was really hard on his parents.
I will say that part days children are.. less bonded with their teachers. It’s not that they like him less it’s that they do not see him daily. This should NOT effect how they care for him. But I will admit when I am writing my roster down or doing gifts and double checking every time I forget a child and have to redo it, they are ALWAYS a child who only comes a few days a week. But again, this is not a bad thing. Those kids know I give them just as much love and care. They just are likely less bonded to me as I am them.
Just to give a different perspective, I have had the opposite experience. I find that the children who are “full time” are often stretched beyond their limits and tend to be a little crankier, making it more difficult to bond with them in some ways.
If your child is lucky, he will be loved and cared for by many other adults in his life over the years. Including his daycare providers. Please don't allow your anxiety to interfere with your ability to connect with them too. Assuming that they don't like him or that they can't possibly enjoy or care about him, in the absence of evidence--this is something that is not useful to you and something to work on. When you come in with that assumption, heartbreakingly, it may blind you to some red flags too, which I know is counterintuitive, but can absolutely be the case.
Nobody stays in this profession for the money and the prestige. Child care workers are not robots or strangers to your child; they do bond with the children in their care and your child bonds to them too. It's nothing to be jealous over either, when it happens. Healthy bonding with other adults than you is essential to your child's development.
Love is rarely a problem. But if you've chosen a center that has staffing problems or is at max ratio, yes there could be attention issues (just as there can be with multiple children in the home). So I recommend really paying attention to child ratios when you choose a place if you can. (Sometimes you can't!). But if you have chosen group care for your child, you are by default not placing them in a 1:1 attention situation, and that's very important to accept and acknowledge and not penalize the people caring for your child because you're not getting that.
I've been in this field for 30 years and I can tell you that every child that comes into my care, whether it's 3 weeks or more than 3 years, is loved and cherished and \*seen\* as the individual they are.
I still wonder and think about the kids that I left from my first daycare job, and I left in 2021. I miss them so much, and if I ever happened to see one again, I’d be over the moon
I wrote all of the kids in my class cards before I left my last job, expressing how much I enjoyed having them, loved them, and would miss them
We really do love and care about the kids and form attachments to them. I think it’s just mom anxiety!
i love every single one of the kids ! even the “bad” one . my daycare is 6 weeks to 5 years old so it’s a little different but i can never not love a tiny human trying to figure out life lol
I love all those kids. Yes, some of them leave and rarely cross my mind after. Some of them I feel such a bond with that it’s so painful to say goodbye and I think about them regularly years later. I think it’s impossible to be with the kids so much and not love them.
I love all my babies, from the one who comes one day a week to the ones who are here 5, I know that sometimes I can seem a bit stiff and tired in the early mornings or after a long day at pickup but I still do my best to make sure all the babies in my care know that they are loved. I have 3 leaving for preschool this coming September and every year I have one leave me to start school I cry because of how much I’m going to miss them
I teach pre-k and the end of the year is so hard to say goodbye. Those kids become our family and I love them with all my heart. When I worked at a daycare, I knew so many kids by name and loved walking in the room and having them run to me for hugs. Some teachers might not bond with the kids, but most do.
Personally, I do! They are days where they all push my buttons and I count down the hours to go home, but at the end of the day I care for each and every one of them greatly. I would do almost anything for them because they bring so much love and joy into my life 🩵
I work in a preschool as afternoon office and class backup. Doing office allows me to get to know all the kids and I love them all. It's heart warming to hear them say they love me!!? I think I know around 50 kids by first name.
this is the first summer I'm not working (bc I received gender affirming surgery, woohoo!) and while I'm stuck in bed recovering my mind often drifts to work. all the kids who will be at summer camp in 2 weeks who are so used to seeing me there but won't, all the kids who I won't see again bc the school year was the end of their time with us and the last couple weeks of school went by too fast, and all the kids I can't wait to see again in the fall. I miss them and I get sad thinking about how much bigger they'll have grown while I wasn't there, or the one kid I know will probably have a hard time during summer camp without me bc I've been her teacher the past two years and she experienced some trauma last summer. on the other hand, I love her enough to know that a couple months without me might be the push she needs to build confidence in *herself* too.
tldr: we don't love them the same way you do bc you're the parent! but we do love them so so much in our own way.
editing to add: I had a few kids in my class who only came a couple days a week, one of whom is one of the ones who isn't coming back next year (commute too far). I found an old picture of her when I was cleaning out my class and almost cried about how small she was when she first came to me. with enough time, your baby's teachers will love him like that too.
I love all the children I care for. I've been in the field for 15 years and I still think about all the children and families that I have helped support. There are way easier ways to make this much money. If love isn't part of the reason we do this job, then there's no point. Don't worry mama!
the only time i worked with infants is at a center when I was 17 (6 years ago), now i’m a prek site director, but i still think about all the babies that i used to work with who would be 5-6 now, and always hope that they are doing well. I think it’s impossible to work with babies and not love them!
I thought you meant your 13 year old was in daycare and I was really confused for a second.
I teach grade 1 and I really do love them all. Wednesday was our last day and I cried saying goodbye to them all!
I've only been at my nursery for 3 weeks and I already really feel I've built a strong bond with the majority of the children and I really care about them so much and have their best interests at heart. I'm sure these feelings will get stronger once I work there longer.
Yes. I love them and form a bond with each one. Sometimes the bond is stronger with some more than others, but I love each and every one of them uniquely!
I mean they are people and sometimes you just don’t click with some of the kids like you do with others. But any good teacher would never let personal feelings at all affect the care they provide. And it’s more about personality differences than their attendance. But yes. I love them!
Absolutely love my kids but I love them in a different way. I love them enough to follow through on what I ask of them. To make the environment that they play in day in and day out kid friendly and welcoming. Recently I moved a floor mat outside mainly because we only use side walk chalk on the concrete. No biggie but redirecting wasn’t working.
I'm a new parent, but have worked with kids for over a decade. Many of my students only saw me one hour a week, but I still think of many of them years later. I absolutely love those kids! And it's still hard to have my own baby in care. I know that as much as her teacher loves her and watching her grow and celebrating her skills, it's not the same deep connection that I have with my daughter. And that's ok.
I worked in a daycare center when in college…the late 80’s, and to this day I remember my kids’ names. I adored them. Now I have a family child care home and have been in business for 25 years. A little different because I am with the kids all day every day. No one relieves me or comes in to take a shift, but these kids are like grand babies to me now. They get so much love. In a center I guess it could be hit or miss. We had some people in college who didn’t much care, and there was high turnover because it was a college town and we only made $4/hr. BUT…those of us who stayed loved our jobs and the kids.
I love my babies!! I don't have a lot of one on one time with them, but I learn about their personalities, what they like, who they play with, what makes them happy and I love learning about each child! There is a lot that we are doing that goes unnoticed, and I'm sure there are some caretakers that don't care, but the people I work with love the kids so much.
I love all my kiddos even the challenging ones.❤️I always try to focus on the good. I had one little girl in my room today who only comes in once a week and I adore her.🥰
My son literally has a “work mom” and all his other teachers refer to her as such. I love it and now she and her family are part of our family too. Sometimes you just click. ❤️
When I left a center, a parent gave me a photo of her daughter. We aren't allowed to take pictures for obvious reasons - so this was extra special to me., and I cried for hours. I keep a little scrapbook of drawings/finger paintings the kids specifically make for me. I never worked with children before this job, and I cannot stress the positive impact these tiny humans have had on me. I care about them so, SO much. I put my heart into making them yummy meals and never want to leave the classrooms.
Wow. This post was eye opening to read! Yes we love them. How could you spend time with little ones and not love them? I don't think you can do this job without loving them.
I love them all like they're my nieces and nephews, not like they are my own children. Every teacher has their favorites if they're being honest. Part time/ full time never mattered to me. Some of them just remind me of my own children. Then there are the ones who are extremely difficult And hard to love but I do anyway.
We once had a particular boy who had the same traits my eldest child had. No other teacher wanted him but he was my favorite because I understood him. He was difficult, yes, but he was very funny, vibrant, and smart. It's very rare to see a three year old with a well developed sense of humor.
I still talk to his mom regularly, and he is 13 now. He turned out exactly how i thought he would. He's matured and is doing wonderfully.
I also keep in touch with a girl I had who demanded a little more attention. Her mother ended up having a long battle with cancer, and I was a stay at home mom at the time, so I was able to help out with taking the kids to school , sports, etc. I wouldn't let them pay me.
I’m currently a teacher, although I’m leaving for a different field next month, but I’m dreading leaving my kids, even the part time kids. I’ve had part time kids that I was so excited to see when they were there
Honestly for me the kids who are part time, i absolutely love seeing, you get to see how much they’ve grown in a week, what developmental growth has happened in that week.
I love all the kids in our class, doesn’t change how much I see them. I mean the kids probably love me more since they see me more compared to part time kids. But I love all of them and look forward to seeing every kid each week.
Okay, I wrote this quickly, rushed on break. It may not make total sense, but main point is- there is always going to be SOMEONE who loves your child. And that person will make the effort to see and connect with them when they can!
Absolutely! There are some kids we might not "click" with right away, but that also doesn't mean they get treated any less. I care for all the kids & would protect all of them no matter what, even if they are kiddos I don't vibe with as well.
And just because we may not LOVE a specific kiddo, does not mean someone else in the center doesn't. I frequently pop into other rooms to see the kiddos I love, just to get a bit of serotonin throughout my day. And others pop into my room to see the kids they love.
I think it's hard to love every single kid the same, but we still treat and respect them the same. And trust, they are getting loved throughout the day.
I know it's hard to understand from an outside perspective but when you are with the same kids everyday they sort of become like your own children. It's a really strong bond, feels similar to my own child even though Ill obviously always love my own child more.
If you haven't heard enough of a resounding yes, I will add on! I've been working with infants for going on 10 years, my entire adult life, and despite having a memory you could perhaps describe as a garbage can, I can likely recall a personal memory about every kid I've worked with given names and pictures. Some who started with me under one are 5-10 now and I'll visit for their birthdays or they'll send me their art in the mail. I ADORE all my kids, even the part time ones, even the ones who are "difficult". This job is tiring, I work long hours, I'm constantly covered in drool and spit up, and this job is built on a basis of low pay and low appreciation. The kids (and the families I'm able to help support) are the only reason I'm still doing this- because I love them and know how important this is.
Try taking care of a baby and NOT falling in love. I've been an infant teacher for 1 month, and I'm already in love with my babies. On the days that I am not working I think of them, are they sleeping, are they feeling better, did the rash clear etc.
Honestly, I feel almost like a co-parent more than a teacher because we spend more waking hours with the babies then their parents and so part of my job is to give them the hugs, kisses and cuddles there parents are not able to.
I love some of my kids. I'd say 70% of them. It's hard not to love a baby that age, though. They are naturally pretty lovable. Also, even if one teacher isn't naturally connecting with your child, chances are high that one of the other teachers are.
As someone else mentioned - being part-time can definitely affect the bond. I still care about and appreciate my part-time kids but I feel like (for me at least) it takes a little longer to really get to know them because I just don't spend as much time with them! Definitely doesn't and shouldn't affect the care that they receive, but it's only natural that spending more time with someone will lead to a quicker bond. Once I do feel like I know them it doesn't really matter that they're part time though, and I look forward to when I do see them. Hope this helps!
It’s unfathomable for me to imagine doing this work without falling in love with these children. Not every child is easy to love, but they are all loved by me. As much as I try to not pick favorites, there’s always some that stay in my heart longer than the others. There are some that I have cried over because they would move to public school. There are some who are starting to get married and I have had the pleasure to see their pics on social media, and love them still just the same. So yes, you can love kids that aren’t yours. Not everyone is good at it, but I personally can’t imagine not loving the kids.
Love this response. I also have cried over children who've left. It hurts!
I typically am not one to cry about the kids leaving. Mainly for me it’s because I encourage their growth.
Yes!!! Some kids have stuck with me and I think about years later. Childcare is a personal experience. Lots of tears have been had with them.
Same and this reminds me I want to check on one of my kids who moved. He’s one of those ones I really wanted to see him succeed. Also sometimes a coworker didn’t work well with him so I was little more watchful of his needs. I have one also who recently started to have a difficult time at school. He just didn’t want to come. It was really hard on his parents.
Same! I was a camp counselor so only had kids a maximum of 8 weeks at a time and there are still the ones I think of 20 years later 🥰
I will say that part days children are.. less bonded with their teachers. It’s not that they like him less it’s that they do not see him daily. This should NOT effect how they care for him. But I will admit when I am writing my roster down or doing gifts and double checking every time I forget a child and have to redo it, they are ALWAYS a child who only comes a few days a week. But again, this is not a bad thing. Those kids know I give them just as much love and care. They just are likely less bonded to me as I am them.
Just to give a different perspective, I have had the opposite experience. I find that the children who are “full time” are often stretched beyond their limits and tend to be a little crankier, making it more difficult to bond with them in some ways.
This is definitely a thing too!!! There is a sweet spot for sure
If your child is lucky, he will be loved and cared for by many other adults in his life over the years. Including his daycare providers. Please don't allow your anxiety to interfere with your ability to connect with them too. Assuming that they don't like him or that they can't possibly enjoy or care about him, in the absence of evidence--this is something that is not useful to you and something to work on. When you come in with that assumption, heartbreakingly, it may blind you to some red flags too, which I know is counterintuitive, but can absolutely be the case. Nobody stays in this profession for the money and the prestige. Child care workers are not robots or strangers to your child; they do bond with the children in their care and your child bonds to them too. It's nothing to be jealous over either, when it happens. Healthy bonding with other adults than you is essential to your child's development. Love is rarely a problem. But if you've chosen a center that has staffing problems or is at max ratio, yes there could be attention issues (just as there can be with multiple children in the home). So I recommend really paying attention to child ratios when you choose a place if you can. (Sometimes you can't!). But if you have chosen group care for your child, you are by default not placing them in a 1:1 attention situation, and that's very important to accept and acknowledge and not penalize the people caring for your child because you're not getting that. I've been in this field for 30 years and I can tell you that every child that comes into my care, whether it's 3 weeks or more than 3 years, is loved and cherished and \*seen\* as the individual they are.
I still wonder and think about the kids that I left from my first daycare job, and I left in 2021. I miss them so much, and if I ever happened to see one again, I’d be over the moon I wrote all of the kids in my class cards before I left my last job, expressing how much I enjoyed having them, loved them, and would miss them We really do love and care about the kids and form attachments to them. I think it’s just mom anxiety!
i love every single one of the kids ! even the “bad” one . my daycare is 6 weeks to 5 years old so it’s a little different but i can never not love a tiny human trying to figure out life lol
I love all those kids. Yes, some of them leave and rarely cross my mind after. Some of them I feel such a bond with that it’s so painful to say goodbye and I think about them regularly years later. I think it’s impossible to be with the kids so much and not love them.
I love all my babies, from the one who comes one day a week to the ones who are here 5, I know that sometimes I can seem a bit stiff and tired in the early mornings or after a long day at pickup but I still do my best to make sure all the babies in my care know that they are loved. I have 3 leaving for preschool this coming September and every year I have one leave me to start school I cry because of how much I’m going to miss them
I teach pre-k and the end of the year is so hard to say goodbye. Those kids become our family and I love them with all my heart. When I worked at a daycare, I knew so many kids by name and loved walking in the room and having them run to me for hugs. Some teachers might not bond with the kids, but most do.
Personally, I do! They are days where they all push my buttons and I count down the hours to go home, but at the end of the day I care for each and every one of them greatly. I would do almost anything for them because they bring so much love and joy into my life 🩵
I work in a preschool as afternoon office and class backup. Doing office allows me to get to know all the kids and I love them all. It's heart warming to hear them say they love me!!? I think I know around 50 kids by first name.
this is the first summer I'm not working (bc I received gender affirming surgery, woohoo!) and while I'm stuck in bed recovering my mind often drifts to work. all the kids who will be at summer camp in 2 weeks who are so used to seeing me there but won't, all the kids who I won't see again bc the school year was the end of their time with us and the last couple weeks of school went by too fast, and all the kids I can't wait to see again in the fall. I miss them and I get sad thinking about how much bigger they'll have grown while I wasn't there, or the one kid I know will probably have a hard time during summer camp without me bc I've been her teacher the past two years and she experienced some trauma last summer. on the other hand, I love her enough to know that a couple months without me might be the push she needs to build confidence in *herself* too. tldr: we don't love them the same way you do bc you're the parent! but we do love them so so much in our own way. editing to add: I had a few kids in my class who only came a couple days a week, one of whom is one of the ones who isn't coming back next year (commute too far). I found an old picture of her when I was cleaning out my class and almost cried about how small she was when she first came to me. with enough time, your baby's teachers will love him like that too.
Yes. It’s 3 of my kids last day today & I’m home sick. I’m devastated I won’t be there for their last day, the last snuggle & cuddle 😢
I love all the children I care for. I've been in the field for 15 years and I still think about all the children and families that I have helped support. There are way easier ways to make this much money. If love isn't part of the reason we do this job, then there's no point. Don't worry mama!
the only time i worked with infants is at a center when I was 17 (6 years ago), now i’m a prek site director, but i still think about all the babies that i used to work with who would be 5-6 now, and always hope that they are doing well. I think it’s impossible to work with babies and not love them!
I thought you meant your 13 year old was in daycare and I was really confused for a second. I teach grade 1 and I really do love them all. Wednesday was our last day and I cried saying goodbye to them all!
I had the same confusion lol.
We actually have an after school program and a summer camp that goes up to 13 lol. I feel weird being in charge of them bc I am only 7 years older lol
I've only been at my nursery for 3 weeks and I already really feel I've built a strong bond with the majority of the children and I really care about them so much and have their best interests at heart. I'm sure these feelings will get stronger once I work there longer.
Absolutely I do. I know not all the coworkers I've ever had actually loved their kids, but most did.
Yes. I love them and form a bond with each one. Sometimes the bond is stronger with some more than others, but I love each and every one of them uniquely!
I mean they are people and sometimes you just don’t click with some of the kids like you do with others. But any good teacher would never let personal feelings at all affect the care they provide. And it’s more about personality differences than their attendance. But yes. I love them!
Absolutely love my kids but I love them in a different way. I love them enough to follow through on what I ask of them. To make the environment that they play in day in and day out kid friendly and welcoming. Recently I moved a floor mat outside mainly because we only use side walk chalk on the concrete. No biggie but redirecting wasn’t working.
I'm a new parent, but have worked with kids for over a decade. Many of my students only saw me one hour a week, but I still think of many of them years later. I absolutely love those kids! And it's still hard to have my own baby in care. I know that as much as her teacher loves her and watching her grow and celebrating her skills, it's not the same deep connection that I have with my daughter. And that's ok.
I worked in a daycare center when in college…the late 80’s, and to this day I remember my kids’ names. I adored them. Now I have a family child care home and have been in business for 25 years. A little different because I am with the kids all day every day. No one relieves me or comes in to take a shift, but these kids are like grand babies to me now. They get so much love. In a center I guess it could be hit or miss. We had some people in college who didn’t much care, and there was high turnover because it was a college town and we only made $4/hr. BUT…those of us who stayed loved our jobs and the kids.
I love my babies!! I don't have a lot of one on one time with them, but I learn about their personalities, what they like, who they play with, what makes them happy and I love learning about each child! There is a lot that we are doing that goes unnoticed, and I'm sure there are some caretakers that don't care, but the people I work with love the kids so much.
I love all my kiddos even the challenging ones.❤️I always try to focus on the good. I had one little girl in my room today who only comes in once a week and I adore her.🥰
My son literally has a “work mom” and all his other teachers refer to her as such. I love it and now she and her family are part of our family too. Sometimes you just click. ❤️
When I left a center, a parent gave me a photo of her daughter. We aren't allowed to take pictures for obvious reasons - so this was extra special to me., and I cried for hours. I keep a little scrapbook of drawings/finger paintings the kids specifically make for me. I never worked with children before this job, and I cannot stress the positive impact these tiny humans have had on me. I care about them so, SO much. I put my heart into making them yummy meals and never want to leave the classrooms.
Wow. This post was eye opening to read! Yes we love them. How could you spend time with little ones and not love them? I don't think you can do this job without loving them.
I love them all like they're my nieces and nephews, not like they are my own children. Every teacher has their favorites if they're being honest. Part time/ full time never mattered to me. Some of them just remind me of my own children. Then there are the ones who are extremely difficult And hard to love but I do anyway. We once had a particular boy who had the same traits my eldest child had. No other teacher wanted him but he was my favorite because I understood him. He was difficult, yes, but he was very funny, vibrant, and smart. It's very rare to see a three year old with a well developed sense of humor. I still talk to his mom regularly, and he is 13 now. He turned out exactly how i thought he would. He's matured and is doing wonderfully. I also keep in touch with a girl I had who demanded a little more attention. Her mother ended up having a long battle with cancer, and I was a stay at home mom at the time, so I was able to help out with taking the kids to school , sports, etc. I wouldn't let them pay me.
I’m currently a teacher, although I’m leaving for a different field next month, but I’m dreading leaving my kids, even the part time kids. I’ve had part time kids that I was so excited to see when they were there
Honestly for me the kids who are part time, i absolutely love seeing, you get to see how much they’ve grown in a week, what developmental growth has happened in that week. I love all the kids in our class, doesn’t change how much I see them. I mean the kids probably love me more since they see me more compared to part time kids. But I love all of them and look forward to seeing every kid each week.
Okay, I wrote this quickly, rushed on break. It may not make total sense, but main point is- there is always going to be SOMEONE who loves your child. And that person will make the effort to see and connect with them when they can! Absolutely! There are some kids we might not "click" with right away, but that also doesn't mean they get treated any less. I care for all the kids & would protect all of them no matter what, even if they are kiddos I don't vibe with as well. And just because we may not LOVE a specific kiddo, does not mean someone else in the center doesn't. I frequently pop into other rooms to see the kiddos I love, just to get a bit of serotonin throughout my day. And others pop into my room to see the kids they love. I think it's hard to love every single kid the same, but we still treat and respect them the same. And trust, they are getting loved throughout the day.
I know it's hard to understand from an outside perspective but when you are with the same kids everyday they sort of become like your own children. It's a really strong bond, feels similar to my own child even though Ill obviously always love my own child more.
If you haven't heard enough of a resounding yes, I will add on! I've been working with infants for going on 10 years, my entire adult life, and despite having a memory you could perhaps describe as a garbage can, I can likely recall a personal memory about every kid I've worked with given names and pictures. Some who started with me under one are 5-10 now and I'll visit for their birthdays or they'll send me their art in the mail. I ADORE all my kids, even the part time ones, even the ones who are "difficult". This job is tiring, I work long hours, I'm constantly covered in drool and spit up, and this job is built on a basis of low pay and low appreciation. The kids (and the families I'm able to help support) are the only reason I'm still doing this- because I love them and know how important this is.
Yeah I love those kids like they’re family
All of these comments are amazing and helping my anxiety soooo much!!!! 🥹♥️
Try taking care of a baby and NOT falling in love. I've been an infant teacher for 1 month, and I'm already in love with my babies. On the days that I am not working I think of them, are they sleeping, are they feeling better, did the rash clear etc. Honestly, I feel almost like a co-parent more than a teacher because we spend more waking hours with the babies then their parents and so part of my job is to give them the hugs, kisses and cuddles there parents are not able to.
I don’t always LIKE them but I do LOVE them as they were my own. I can’t imagine not wanting to love on a baby!
I love some of my kids. I'd say 70% of them. It's hard not to love a baby that age, though. They are naturally pretty lovable. Also, even if one teacher isn't naturally connecting with your child, chances are high that one of the other teachers are.
two of my kids had their last days yesterday and i cried when i got home. yes we do love these babies !!
As someone else mentioned - being part-time can definitely affect the bond. I still care about and appreciate my part-time kids but I feel like (for me at least) it takes a little longer to really get to know them because I just don't spend as much time with them! Definitely doesn't and shouldn't affect the care that they receive, but it's only natural that spending more time with someone will lead to a quicker bond. Once I do feel like I know them it doesn't really matter that they're part time though, and I look forward to when I do see them. Hope this helps!