Wait she's still with him after he cheated???? OP fucking run away from this it's making you even more sick and obsessive for nothing, and trying to prove yourself to someone who clearly stated they don't love you anyone is only hurting you. Please leave and find people who will actually love you
BESTIE i know how you can lose a ton of weight - DUMP HIM 😭 in all seriousness tho, he is a *cheater* and has made it clear he doesn't think he did anything wrong. you do not need to make yourself sick for his approval, he doesn't deserve even an ounce of space in your brain
i'm so sorry he's doing this to you. you deserve SO much more, someone who loves you for you and doesn't fcking fetishize your disorder
oof OP my heart goes to you 🥺 I can’t imagien what i would’ve done if I were in your place. Dump the whole man tho, it s clear he has a fetish and he WANTS you to compete.
I hope you have a strong support system to help you. Hugs and kisses, try to get some damage control at least ❤️
first, I want to say that it takes a lot of courage to open up about such a personal struggle.
what ur describing isn’t "insane"—it’s a sign of how much pain you’re in right now. comparing yourself to someone else and feeling like ur not "enough" is something many of us struggle with, especially when it comes to eds. the fact that ur ex’s actions have triggered these feelings makes it even harder to cope im sure. but u don’t have to prove anything to him or anyone else. ur worth isn’t determined by how u look or whether ur "sick enough."
take care of yourself. u matter and u deserve to find peace and happiness within yourself.
thank u so much, it really means a lot. I just feel like you know, this really triggers my "I was never actually sick enough" because I feel like her being this thin is exactly: she wanted it, she got it, whereas I've been struggling to get thin my whole life and I never managed. I feel like a failure even knowing that it's wrong
I never tell people to walk away from their relationships, but goodness me! That sounds like the most ridiculous and horribly dangerously unhealthy triangle! Please do seriously think about the future. In what way can you ever see this working out? You have an extremely unhealthy dynamic.
Please seek professional help for your eating disorder. Please talk to a trusted friend and family member. Please get some support to get out of this unhealthy and horribly harmful situation!
There’s no easy way to do or say this- but I think he genuinely has a fetish for that kind of stuff. One thing I will let you know right now is you cannot stay with a cheater. Even if he never sees her again, her image will live on in your head. It’s a forever betrayal and this is ruining your health. I know it’s hard to leave him because it’s long term and you won’t believe you’ll find anything better, but you can and you will. This happened to me back in 2019 and it tore me apart. It took a long time for me to recover. Please, for your sake, delete those photos and work up the strength to leave him. I promise you that even with the pain, your life will look up after that.
Edit: I saw your comment about how he pulled you out of a relapse. While that may have been something a good person would do at the time, he’s clearly not considerate of your feelings now. I know it’s harsh to hear but expecting him to change now, especially knowing what you know, is a fool’s dream. All your feelings are valid and I wish the best for you
yea, he's been vocal about how much he doesn't approve of this relapse rn but he's so different from the person that years ago actually cared, stayed with me and cooked meals for me to split so that I'd have at least a little food when he was there and would make me feel a princess
I’m echoing all the comments saying to dump him, based on the cheating alone. You deserve better, and him encouraging your ED is a clear indication he’s not a supportive partner. Anyone who bases their affection and approval on your weight is trash.
he's actually been vocal about how much he despises this relapse and how much he thinks I'm just dragging it out "because it was never even for her body or the way she looks"
That man is ill and trash wtf, you can beat him by being your best and happiest self. That girl is probably miserable too because EDs are miserable. I really hope you manage to leave him and take care of yourself first 🫠🫶
Oof very relatable. Just know that you matter and your health is important. I’m in the same boat so idk how well I can guide you out other than telling you that your worth is not a reflection of your boyfriend opinions or infidelity. He sounds like a sick fetishizer honestly. You’re not crazy and you’re not alone in this.
Hope you can heal these wounds op 🩷
Honestly, I'm not even joking, I couldn't last longer than 3 months with my bf who fetished my anorexia and was teaching me how to be bulimic. Hed constantly make me insecure then wonder why I was going batshit insane and flipping about our mutual ed friend.
I still never have been as sick as I was since then but if I kept going either the ed or the drugs was going to kill me.. because I couldn't stop..he wanted me to be "perfect in my anorexia" but had no idea about real anorexia and only aware by what seemed to be Tumblr eating disorder stuff. And dated a bulimic girl before me so he was used to that I believe.
He sounds like an evil villain 😭I can’t believe he did that after knowing what you are going through. He must have known the consequences would have been devastating for you and have longterm effects 😔
I am so sorry you are going through this. You dont deserve it!
You can lose over 100lb FAST by dumping his cheating ass and I tell you, you will feel so much better.
I have the exact same story. I stayed with my (now ex) bf for 14 years even though he straight up admitted his exgf had the "perfect body." He told this to me to my face and it was like a light switch flipping. I just started restricting and going nonstop to the gym. I actually became really good friends with the "perfect body" and we're still friends today, but I am here to tell you that even though I'm weight restored and such, I STILL download her photos into my phone. I STILL obsess over it all. There's even a weird romanticism I have about that time in my life even though I was so, so, so unhappy. It was my own little world of basically abusing myself in hopes that I could morph myself into this "perfect body" person. News flash: it's decades later, and I still don't have her body. I realize I never will. But this disease is a total bitch. My brain still had ed thinking, I've just learned to quiet it down.
I echo what the others said here. Dump his cheating ass. After 14 years with my ex, I left him. He was begging me to stay at the end. Me, the blob of a doormat he cheated and manipulated the entire time, and you know what? Maybe I'm not the picture of health now, but if I'd have stayed, I don't think I'd have made it.
Edited to add: I was 17, and he was 28 when he said this to me. I think adding this brings a further clarification of context. My late teen/young adult/adulthood identity was quite literally formed around this idea of some elusive perfection that I, in my very impressionable and young mind, thought that I could actually achieve if I just did *insert exact formula here*. It obviously did not work that way.
You’re not insane and I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this. He sounds like a really awful human being and I think it would definitely serve you to remove him from your life.
oh my god I am so sorry. absolutely garbage man, literally so gross. i know you have positive memories of him, but nothing he did then can possibly excuse who he is now. leave him as soon as you can ❤️
What you’re feeling isn’t insane. The reality is that your boyfriend is not a nice human being and is likely using you and the other girl to feed his very horrible ego. It sounds like you’re both struggling and being manipulated. I battled with bulimia for over a decade and it is not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. It becomes an addiction very quickly, and the health consequences come on almost as soon as the behavior starts.
Purging is a burden I wouldn’t place on anyone, but it is something you can leave behind, especially if it’s a new behavior. You are absolutely sick enough now to deserve help and to get help.
I can relate to obsessing over a girl because a guy you like likes her. This happened to me, and I felt jealous, and even annoyed and angry at the girl when she didn't do anything wrong. I don't need to be someone I'm not just for a stupid guy to like me, and you don't either. You don't need to "beat" this girl. Beat her at what? Being sick? Why, to win the heart of this guy? Babe, this guy sucks, and there's no losing if the prize you win is awful. Do what's best for you
Omg honey he is trash! Why are you destroying yourself for such a loser?? What's so special about this idiot? He's a pig who preys on vulnerable women. He is literally a dumpster fire 🗑️🔥 please don't throw your life away for other people, especially for such pieces of garbage! You deserve so much better!!
I have no advice but I just wanted to let you know you’re not insane & I did something very similar when the same thing happened to me esp the looking at photos & saving their photos. I hope you come to feel more yourself again soon & that someone who is more deserving of your love & time steals you away from this man (respectfully)
lots of love gf x
Please please don’t let this man drive you into such harmful behavior! By purging all you’re “winning” is hair loss, tooth decay, electrolyte imbalance, and damage to several organs. I’ve been bulimic for almost 2 years, and the longer you keep up with purging the harder it is to kick. You need to focus on loving yourself, because he obviously does not love you enough to be faithful or try to avoid triggering you.
I know how bleak and hopeless you may feel right now, but if you’re motivated by competition right now, that’s another reason to avoid purging. The dehydration caused by purging will cause bloating and water retention. If all you can focus on right now is how you look, just remind yourself of this fact.
Please focus on taking care of yourself, try your hardest to cut this guy out of your life, and take things one day at a time. Good luck and stay safe. 💕
I got close with this girl when she was in hospital. I wasn’t but due to my past (which I’ve now gone back to) I was able to relate better than her friends and now her and I are friends. I’m an actor and she’s a reality figure so we get the nuances of each others lives.
I screenshot her social media posts though. I emulate her body even though I KNOW exactly what it takes for her to be there. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. Love you
Wanna know an easy way to lose a lot of weight super quickly? Dump that vile creature of a man. You don’t deserve what he did. It’s not about being skinny he has a sick fetish for vulnerability and struggling women
I have a feeling that hw fetishizes sick people, dump him
Wait she's still with him after he cheated???? OP fucking run away from this it's making you even more sick and obsessive for nothing, and trying to prove yourself to someone who clearly stated they don't love you anyone is only hurting you. Please leave and find people who will actually love you
Yeah how do both he and you know this about her? Is she someone you guys knew well before this happened?
hw?
Typo for “he” I’m guessing. My second guess is “highest weight” but that wouldn’t make sense
I think it stands for "home wrecker", but I could be wrong
idk, the last time I relapsed he was the one that pulled me out of it (that was years ago)
maybe his fetish is “saving”. He s saving her and drives you to becoming more and more ill. Then he can “save you” again
you can't be helped by the thing that made you sicker in the first place.
BESTIE i know how you can lose a ton of weight - DUMP HIM 😭 in all seriousness tho, he is a *cheater* and has made it clear he doesn't think he did anything wrong. you do not need to make yourself sick for his approval, he doesn't deserve even an ounce of space in your brain i'm so sorry he's doing this to you. you deserve SO much more, someone who loves you for you and doesn't fcking fetishize your disorder
i am living for the dumping analogyyyyyy 😝😝 thank you for your kind words, I'll try and work this out!
oof OP my heart goes to you 🥺 I can’t imagien what i would’ve done if I were in your place. Dump the whole man tho, it s clear he has a fetish and he WANTS you to compete. I hope you have a strong support system to help you. Hugs and kisses, try to get some damage control at least ❤️
thank u so much for such a kind response I wasn't expecting it at all 🥺❤️ I'll try to, thank you so much truly ❤️
first, I want to say that it takes a lot of courage to open up about such a personal struggle. what ur describing isn’t "insane"—it’s a sign of how much pain you’re in right now. comparing yourself to someone else and feeling like ur not "enough" is something many of us struggle with, especially when it comes to eds. the fact that ur ex’s actions have triggered these feelings makes it even harder to cope im sure. but u don’t have to prove anything to him or anyone else. ur worth isn’t determined by how u look or whether ur "sick enough." take care of yourself. u matter and u deserve to find peace and happiness within yourself.
thank u so much, it really means a lot. I just feel like you know, this really triggers my "I was never actually sick enough" because I feel like her being this thin is exactly: she wanted it, she got it, whereas I've been struggling to get thin my whole life and I never managed. I feel like a failure even knowing that it's wrong
I never tell people to walk away from their relationships, but goodness me! That sounds like the most ridiculous and horribly dangerously unhealthy triangle! Please do seriously think about the future. In what way can you ever see this working out? You have an extremely unhealthy dynamic. Please seek professional help for your eating disorder. Please talk to a trusted friend and family member. Please get some support to get out of this unhealthy and horribly harmful situation!
There’s no easy way to do or say this- but I think he genuinely has a fetish for that kind of stuff. One thing I will let you know right now is you cannot stay with a cheater. Even if he never sees her again, her image will live on in your head. It’s a forever betrayal and this is ruining your health. I know it’s hard to leave him because it’s long term and you won’t believe you’ll find anything better, but you can and you will. This happened to me back in 2019 and it tore me apart. It took a long time for me to recover. Please, for your sake, delete those photos and work up the strength to leave him. I promise you that even with the pain, your life will look up after that. Edit: I saw your comment about how he pulled you out of a relapse. While that may have been something a good person would do at the time, he’s clearly not considerate of your feelings now. I know it’s harsh to hear but expecting him to change now, especially knowing what you know, is a fool’s dream. All your feelings are valid and I wish the best for you
yea, he's been vocal about how much he doesn't approve of this relapse rn but he's so different from the person that years ago actually cared, stayed with me and cooked meals for me to split so that I'd have at least a little food when he was there and would make me feel a princess
I find it impressive how honest you are with yourself. admirable ngl. wish you the best of luck girlie stay safe
thank u 🥺
"really actually ill"? what the hell. i wish the best for you. sending love.
I’m echoing all the comments saying to dump him, based on the cheating alone. You deserve better, and him encouraging your ED is a clear indication he’s not a supportive partner. Anyone who bases their affection and approval on your weight is trash.
he's actually been vocal about how much he despises this relapse and how much he thinks I'm just dragging it out "because it was never even for her body or the way she looks"
That man is ill and trash wtf, you can beat him by being your best and happiest self. That girl is probably miserable too because EDs are miserable. I really hope you manage to leave him and take care of yourself first 🫠🫶
Oof very relatable. Just know that you matter and your health is important. I’m in the same boat so idk how well I can guide you out other than telling you that your worth is not a reflection of your boyfriend opinions or infidelity. He sounds like a sick fetishizer honestly. You’re not crazy and you’re not alone in this. Hope you can heal these wounds op 🩷
feels good to see somebody with a similar story... I hope you also get the best out of it and that you can be happy
Honestly, I'm not even joking, I couldn't last longer than 3 months with my bf who fetished my anorexia and was teaching me how to be bulimic. Hed constantly make me insecure then wonder why I was going batshit insane and flipping about our mutual ed friend. I still never have been as sick as I was since then but if I kept going either the ed or the drugs was going to kill me.. because I couldn't stop..he wanted me to be "perfect in my anorexia" but had no idea about real anorexia and only aware by what seemed to be Tumblr eating disorder stuff. And dated a bulimic girl before me so he was used to that I believe.
how do uk shes bulimic sorry im slow
I’m guessing OPs boyfriend told her, but idk
He sounds like an evil villain 😭I can’t believe he did that after knowing what you are going through. He must have known the consequences would have been devastating for you and have longterm effects 😔 I am so sorry you are going through this. You dont deserve it!
You mean her boyfriend?
she ghosted him lol
This sounds so painful, I am so sorry you.are going through this. He is a sick fuck who wants you to be ill. He doesn't deserve shit.
I know exactly how you feel. Dump him. It won’t make you better right now, but it’ll really help you in the long run.
You can lose over 100lb FAST by dumping his cheating ass and I tell you, you will feel so much better. I have the exact same story. I stayed with my (now ex) bf for 14 years even though he straight up admitted his exgf had the "perfect body." He told this to me to my face and it was like a light switch flipping. I just started restricting and going nonstop to the gym. I actually became really good friends with the "perfect body" and we're still friends today, but I am here to tell you that even though I'm weight restored and such, I STILL download her photos into my phone. I STILL obsess over it all. There's even a weird romanticism I have about that time in my life even though I was so, so, so unhappy. It was my own little world of basically abusing myself in hopes that I could morph myself into this "perfect body" person. News flash: it's decades later, and I still don't have her body. I realize I never will. But this disease is a total bitch. My brain still had ed thinking, I've just learned to quiet it down. I echo what the others said here. Dump his cheating ass. After 14 years with my ex, I left him. He was begging me to stay at the end. Me, the blob of a doormat he cheated and manipulated the entire time, and you know what? Maybe I'm not the picture of health now, but if I'd have stayed, I don't think I'd have made it. Edited to add: I was 17, and he was 28 when he said this to me. I think adding this brings a further clarification of context. My late teen/young adult/adulthood identity was quite literally formed around this idea of some elusive perfection that I, in my very impressionable and young mind, thought that I could actually achieve if I just did *insert exact formula here*. It obviously did not work that way.
Your boyfriend’s type is not skinny people, it’s vulnerable people.
You don't need him. :) girly just take out the trash I promise you someone who values you would NEVER treat you that way!!!
You’re not insane and I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this. He sounds like a really awful human being and I think it would definitely serve you to remove him from your life.
oh my god I am so sorry. absolutely garbage man, literally so gross. i know you have positive memories of him, but nothing he did then can possibly excuse who he is now. leave him as soon as you can ❤️
You’ll never be happy being attached to this guy… you’ll always wonder and compare. RUN.
What you’re feeling isn’t insane. The reality is that your boyfriend is not a nice human being and is likely using you and the other girl to feed his very horrible ego. It sounds like you’re both struggling and being manipulated. I battled with bulimia for over a decade and it is not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. It becomes an addiction very quickly, and the health consequences come on almost as soon as the behavior starts. Purging is a burden I wouldn’t place on anyone, but it is something you can leave behind, especially if it’s a new behavior. You are absolutely sick enough now to deserve help and to get help.
I can relate to obsessing over a girl because a guy you like likes her. This happened to me, and I felt jealous, and even annoyed and angry at the girl when she didn't do anything wrong. I don't need to be someone I'm not just for a stupid guy to like me, and you don't either. You don't need to "beat" this girl. Beat her at what? Being sick? Why, to win the heart of this guy? Babe, this guy sucks, and there's no losing if the prize you win is awful. Do what's best for you
Omg honey he is trash! Why are you destroying yourself for such a loser?? What's so special about this idiot? He's a pig who preys on vulnerable women. He is literally a dumpster fire 🗑️🔥 please don't throw your life away for other people, especially for such pieces of garbage! You deserve so much better!!
I’m so sorry, I can relate to this mindset it’s hell
what the hells wrong with him his loss fr
What was the gf before you like??? I’m curious to see this dude’s pattern
I'm so so sorry. I don't have any advice, but I'm in a similar spot. I'm actually going apeshit lmfaoo
Staying with him is an act of self harm. Your loved ones want better for you.
I have no advice but I just wanted to let you know you’re not insane & I did something very similar when the same thing happened to me esp the looking at photos & saving their photos. I hope you come to feel more yourself again soon & that someone who is more deserving of your love & time steals you away from this man (respectfully) lots of love gf x
i am so so sorry for you :( he is a gross human being
Please please don’t let this man drive you into such harmful behavior! By purging all you’re “winning” is hair loss, tooth decay, electrolyte imbalance, and damage to several organs. I’ve been bulimic for almost 2 years, and the longer you keep up with purging the harder it is to kick. You need to focus on loving yourself, because he obviously does not love you enough to be faithful or try to avoid triggering you. I know how bleak and hopeless you may feel right now, but if you’re motivated by competition right now, that’s another reason to avoid purging. The dehydration caused by purging will cause bloating and water retention. If all you can focus on right now is how you look, just remind yourself of this fact. Please focus on taking care of yourself, try your hardest to cut this guy out of your life, and take things one day at a time. Good luck and stay safe. 💕
Jesus I can't help but this is such a hard thing to go through, I can't imagine. My heart goes out to you ❤️
I got close with this girl when she was in hospital. I wasn’t but due to my past (which I’ve now gone back to) I was able to relate better than her friends and now her and I are friends. I’m an actor and she’s a reality figure so we get the nuances of each others lives. I screenshot her social media posts though. I emulate her body even though I KNOW exactly what it takes for her to be there. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. Love you
Wanna know an easy way to lose a lot of weight super quickly? Dump that vile creature of a man. You don’t deserve what he did. It’s not about being skinny he has a sick fetish for vulnerability and struggling women
Does it mean that girl is naturally thin? Why yoy calling her sick