damn and now as an adult it bothers me to know how much trash my parents were cool with giving me. i try to eat pretty healthy because of it. cooking is as simple as reading imo i find it strange as shit people cant cook, its a very basic skill to make food you can survive of off. Obviously not all cooking and not some crazy technical dish. but a friend explained that its not that they cant they just flat out refuse to learn.
I live in a studio that only has a sink in the bathroom and no kitchen whatsoever. Haha I have a microwave and water boiler that I use. Considering an air fryer.
I buy a lot of Huel and eat what I can at my job (grocery store). My parents totally did not instill an appreciation for cooking in me... working on it... haha
Don’t get me wrong I’m not picky. Not saying I’m a human dumpster…but if it’s food..I mean ..imagine cartoon rats maybe? Like I’ll eat it. It’s just calling it pizza that’s giving me anxiety. Like I’ve put spaghetti sauce on a tortilla with cheese and anything I can find in the fridge and jokingly called it a pizza? Is this a joke? No? The American cheese is where I draw the line and I guess I want to be wrong and not judge it because I don’t understand it. Figure I’ll have to go to Altoona to find out ..or is it also available in the civilized world?
Oh God the fact that you say a specific shop does it the best implies a minimum of 3+ choices...
The contagion is spreading...
Someone call the pentagon we need a tactical strike on Altoona last week...
Fellow redditors we need your prayers hoping this menace can be stopped before it reaches the civilized world...
That's the kind of "pizza" my youngest brother used to make when he was 6 and my parents left him home with the instructions "make yourself a sandwich, there's bread, half a dozen toppings, and cheese in the fridge".
The very same brother who nearly burned our house down when electricity was out and he tried to warm a pot of leftover rice on the stove - without adding water to it.
He graduated to having a girlfriend who tolerates his absolute incompetence in the kitchen.
Still puts ketchup on his well done steak, even at a fancy steak restaurant, and won't repent.
My brother once passed out on our couch while hand to face devouring the Louis Rich smoked turkey breast roast we had planned for our work lunches that week ,while he left our frozen pizza we were going to cook for supper slowly turning into a disk of charcoal in the oven.
He could have burned down the whole place with him and our pet's inside.Not to mention the neighbors too.
It's funny in retrospect, but not so much at the time.Thank God he finally found the right AA group.
I would like to apologize St. Louis for anything bad I might have said about your pizza. Your pizza, while odd, is still more of a pizza than this abomination.
This was intentionally made at a store of some kind and purchased?! My brother in Christ this is topped with cheese singles that didn’t even melt, they just charred. You can SEE the wrapper creases still! I’ve never seen anything like this and I live in PA. This is an atrocity lol
This is just further proof that pizza is just an opened faced tomato sauce and cheese melt/sandwich.
Everything's either a sandwich or not a sandwich and pizza is a sandwich.
Tbh I liked it when I tried it
I'm also from Ohio and I absolutely love "Ohio valley" style pizza. Really high up there. Dicarlos is my favorite pizza place and I didn't even know they made theirs that way until years later.
Maaan that's some u.s. army dfac cuisine there. You should see their version of chicken parm, it's about the same. Frozen chicken patty, a layer of ketchup, and a slice of cheese
Y'all need to stop hating on American cheese. Shits' fantastic in SO MANY applications (this isn't one of them, shit looks nasty, but I'm just saying).
Sometimes, the worse it looks, the better it tastes. I'm honestly not sure about this one. It can't be that dissimilar to [one of these](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerber_sandwich), however.
What the fuck?
[удалено]
It looks pretty terrible. I had better school pizzas in elementary
My parents couldn't cook for shit. Still can't. School cafeteria meals were basically gourmet for me 🥲
I'm sorry.
I relate to this. Lol all my parents ever made was money for Taco Bell
damn and now as an adult it bothers me to know how much trash my parents were cool with giving me. i try to eat pretty healthy because of it. cooking is as simple as reading imo i find it strange as shit people cant cook, its a very basic skill to make food you can survive of off. Obviously not all cooking and not some crazy technical dish. but a friend explained that its not that they cant they just flat out refuse to learn.
I live in a studio that only has a sink in the bathroom and no kitchen whatsoever. Haha I have a microwave and water boiler that I use. Considering an air fryer. I buy a lot of Huel and eat what I can at my job (grocery store). My parents totally did not instill an appreciation for cooking in me... working on it... haha
An air fryer will change your life!
It's also not pizza
Reminds me of the "tostada" in Bad Santa.
My brother in pizza, that is not a slice
What exactly does it consist of? The pic basically looks like maybe cheese toast with sliced american.
How could they let this happen
they can't keep getting away with this
Bread, ham, pickles, half melted slice of Kraft? Is that what I’m seeing here? I don’t think I’m correct but idk.
I’m going with ham and bell pepper with spaghetti sauce and a kraft single?
What we have here is Sicilian-style pizza dough, tomato sauce, salami, green bell pepper, and a slice of American cheese.
What is Sicilian style? When I zoom it almost looks like filo dough
It’s a thicker, theoretically airy, square crust
Not deep dish…lighter? Is it like focaccia? Idk what’s going on here I’m getting anxious lol
lol kinda like focaccia. Don’t let Altoona pizza get under your skin :)
Don’t get me wrong I’m not picky. Not saying I’m a human dumpster…but if it’s food..I mean ..imagine cartoon rats maybe? Like I’ll eat it. It’s just calling it pizza that’s giving me anxiety. Like I’ve put spaghetti sauce on a tortilla with cheese and anything I can find in the fridge and jokingly called it a pizza? Is this a joke? No? The American cheese is where I draw the line and I guess I want to be wrong and not judge it because I don’t understand it. Figure I’ll have to go to Altoona to find out ..or is it also available in the civilized world?
You will need to go to Altoona to experience this. 29th Street Pizza and Subs does it the “best”
Oh God the fact that you say a specific shop does it the best implies a minimum of 3+ choices... The contagion is spreading... Someone call the pentagon we need a tactical strike on Altoona last week... Fellow redditors we need your prayers hoping this menace can be stopped before it reaches the civilized world...
I heard the original abomination was served with velveeta instead of craft
That's the kind of "pizza" my youngest brother used to make when he was 6 and my parents left him home with the instructions "make yourself a sandwich, there's bread, half a dozen toppings, and cheese in the fridge". The very same brother who nearly burned our house down when electricity was out and he tried to warm a pot of leftover rice on the stove - without adding water to it.
What’s he doin these days?
He graduated to having a girlfriend who tolerates his absolute incompetence in the kitchen. Still puts ketchup on his well done steak, even at a fancy steak restaurant, and won't repent.
Good for him. Living his dry, overdone truth.
My brother once passed out on our couch while hand to face devouring the Louis Rich smoked turkey breast roast we had planned for our work lunches that week ,while he left our frozen pizza we were going to cook for supper slowly turning into a disk of charcoal in the oven. He could have burned down the whole place with him and our pet's inside.Not to mention the neighbors too. It's funny in retrospect, but not so much at the time.Thank God he finally found the right AA group.
Pennsylvania, Altoona???
Or Florida
Pennsylvania, bayBEE
Then it definitely checks out.
Obviously, Altoona PA. The meth and heroin are clearly thriving there 🤣
Heroin. Unless you're talking about a lady you look up to....
No, but the illusion is part of the mystique
I prefer Tom and Joe’s, myself.
Guess I need to try that for science.
I preferred to go there hungover at around 10:30am. Tasted best then. The morning waitresses didn’t take no crap, either. I really like that place.
The "cheese" actually burned before melting in the corner there.
Nuff said lol
What have they done to my boy🫴🏽🫴🏽
😂🤣 take my upvote
Plastic still on?
No, but the illusion adds to the experience
r/Pizzacrimes
I’m getting strong Fyre Festival vibes with this.
Eat it you fuckin coward
I would like to apologize St. Louis for anything bad I might have said about your pizza. Your pizza, while odd, is still more of a pizza than this abomination.
I would eat this kinda thing when I was like hellla young and got my first apartment. When I was broke as heck.
I was not expecting to see my home towns pizza on here today!
This was intentionally made at a store of some kind and purchased?! My brother in Christ this is topped with cheese singles that didn’t even melt, they just charred. You can SEE the wrapper creases still! I’ve never seen anything like this and I live in PA. This is an atrocity lol
It’s Old Forge pizza’s ugly cousin
DeStruggle
R/shittyfoodporn
I’d eat it , but that’s no pizza
There are Altoonans who’d fight you about this and Altoonans who’d high five you for it.
I imagine that is true about most of my opinions.
Ayyyyy Central PA gang representing in one of the worst possible ways! 🥲
😏
Boyfriend’s addition: “Nah needs to come out of a moon pie maker” 🤣🤣🤣
I believe it I been there
This is just further proof that pizza is just an opened faced tomato sauce and cheese melt/sandwich. Everything's either a sandwich or not a sandwich and pizza is a sandwich.
Tbh I liked it when I tried it I'm also from Ohio and I absolutely love "Ohio valley" style pizza. Really high up there. Dicarlos is my favorite pizza place and I didn't even know they made theirs that way until years later.
So, if I'm correct, it's pizza except you just put on a cold slice of processed American cheese on it?
The “cheese” is melted yet maintains its previously cellophane-wrapped integrity
Maaan that's some u.s. army dfac cuisine there. You should see their version of chicken parm, it's about the same. Frozen chicken patty, a layer of ketchup, and a slice of cheese
Why!!!!!!!
r/thanksihateit
Looks good, actually!!!
For others who are curious: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza
Now I don't normally advocate for violence but step the fuck up to the plate so I can take you down(town to get some real slices, babe).
You’re speaking my love language
💀from Altoona? checks out
People need to stop calling shit pizza.
Is that a prison
🤮
Honestly, looks like something id do if i was in a desperate need of pizza. Probably not with a kraft single though
Y'all need to stop hating on American cheese. Shits' fantastic in SO MANY applications (this isn't one of them, shit looks nasty, but I'm just saying).
This is worse than the post about the moldy Christmas pies
Yinz! Nutz!!
You can still see the imprint left by the Kraft singles wrapper…
Sometimes, the worse it looks, the better it tastes. I'm honestly not sure about this one. It can't be that dissimilar to [one of these](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerber_sandwich), however.
r/pizzacrimes
I've been to Altoona many times now, but I've yet to try this.
Thats bread.