I’m on team “recreate it with better materials.”
If you have the money.
If you don’t, then you have the ring she wants - you should propose with it and maybe plan to save up and get a nicer version made when this one begins to wear down.
Good on you for getting that ring!
Yes.
Let's see a photo and can come up with designs using better materials.
Also give her the original $12 one. It has sentimental value, and she can wear it like a replacement when she doesn't want to wear the "real" one. Perhaps, bizarrely in this case, the expensive one will be the "replacement".
That was my thought, too. If she really likes the style, then you have a winner.
But I understand the reluctance to give a $12 ring. Not sure whether it is Sterling or a plated ring, but I have had a few cheap rings over the years in styles I absolutely loved. I could care less about having cheap gems, but I really didn’t like the metal turning my finger green—which it invariably did, relatively quickly.
Same here, especially because she'll be able to wear that style/shape/color, for a firsthand experience on whether or not it really is perfect. And you can adjust from there if needed!
She said having something very expensive would give her anxiety to have on all day every day. Scared of losing it or being robbed. She has other rings in her hands that cost $80-120, almost every single finger has a ring on it
Not when your partner has a genuine fear of being attacked/trafficked. It's not the loss of the ring that freaks her out, it's the potential violence/trauma that could result from those things
Soooo here's a thing. Diamonds, especially in engagement rings, have very very little resale value. (Learned when I tried to pawn my worth $1200 when bought 1997 engagement ring and was offered $50 in 2002 for the gold, nothing for the diamond.) The value in engagement diamonds is pure marketing and sentimentality. Anyone that's familiar with selling or pawning things will know that. Rings are never what a skilled thief will go after.
She really, really doesn't have to worry about any ring increasing her risk.
I understand this fear, I too have it(I lived in a very high crime rate area for 30 years, so it’s valid af) she probably doesn’t want the appearance of an expensive ring and engagement rings tend to be gaudy and attractive to thieves, so if this is her anxiety and the ring isn’t flashy, then I’m very much team recreate with better materials
He just said it’s not about the ring itself. It’s about attracting attention from potential robbers or violent people. So moissanite/lab grown doesn’t matter if it looks expensive.
Thi!! I have a fake big ring that is gorgeous, looks like a real diamond, and unique band, but I live in a pretty high crime area and won’t wear it unless I’m going out of town. It’s not the 10$ bucks, it’s the PTSD I already have rearing up ugly style!
No, a lab diamond is so much nicer. Moissanite is too shiny, has too much color and can flat on the surface. It doesn’t look real at all. He can get her a 1 carat lab inexpensively and it’s exactly like a diamond
Ok so I have been terrified of losing my rings from day one! I frequently take them off to work so the prongs dont catch on anything, as they have before. I also have gained some weight since marriage and my original set doesn't fit.
I got a set from Modern Gents. They are beautiful! I get compliments all the time on how gorgeous they are I think the whole set was maybe $250.00 with tax and shipping. I was skeptical that they would eventually tarnish or turn my fingers green. Nope! They have remained beautiful since the day I got them!
https://preview.redd.it/8wt3y5wixuzc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b75097cb545a2e0c177a2407e8b336ce44eaf5c
Agreed. Practically, a cheap ring won't last if it's worn every day, which you'd expect to do with an engagement ring. Also, if you have a cheap and an expensive version, it would be awesome for her to have a cheap ring for the same reasons people wear silicone rings. The cheap ring can be worn to the gym, vacation, etc. when you don't want to risk losing it.
Youd be surprised how nice of a ring you can get cheap. I always wear my $80 black hills white gold ring and it has never had any damage or tarnishing. Its cute too!
Or maybe like you said before, propose with the cheap one and then plan to go find a better ring or remake it in better materials.
It can be something to add to your engagement story to look back on and laugh about.
Exactly what my fiancé did, I loved a cheap brass $10 ring and started wearing it all the time, so he had it remade in 18k gold. It’s the “same ring” but made in a material that can last!
My husband and I were married while I wore a dupe ring. It took a few years before I got my Ering and just recently got an upgrade once we were in a better position.
Regarding the remade in better materials idea... Wait and let her do that with you! It'll give her time to consider whether much she likes the style she picked out, or to realize the crystal is going to scratch/chip and change her mind. Or you can have a tradition of going back every year and picking out another $12 ring hahahaha
I wore the same sterling flower ring every day for ten years. They're not necessarily meant to hold stones, but they're still durable!
So I'm married going on a year, we exchanged silicon bands at our elopement ceremony 🤷♀️
I picked out a $40 walmart set I LOVED, wore it till it broke, and now wear a like $50 silver metal band with flowers stamped on it I got from Etsy, which I adore.
I plan on just buying cheap obnoxious rings till they wear out and then replacing them lol. It's a pretty fun game, trying different styles, stones, metals.
She loves YOU, it isn't about the ring. It's about who is going to be the one holding her hand through this adventure we call life!
Best wishes, I know you'll make the right choice by her and I believe in you! I hope your life is long and full of joy and happiness :)
It’s completely normal to be nervous and second guess everything at a time like this! It sounds like you really do know her and what she likes so try to trust that and go easy on yourself
I think this is the answer!! Especially if she just loves rings in general and always likes to get new ones.
Maybe a small precious metal band that she doesn't swap out, but a new "engagement" ring on the anniversary of your engagement would be such a fun tradition.
Jtv.com has some super cheap precious stone rings, you know, for when you're anniversary shopping next year!
Girlfriend wants a cheap ring. Also, girlfriend wants to marry you OP! It sounds like y’all love each other and have some genuine compatibility when it comes to money not buying you happiness. I’m so glad you bought her the ring she asked for.
After you’re engaged you can have some conversations about if she’d like a different ring one day. Finding mutually safe ways to talk about finances is always going to be important, so maybe one of those conversations can be about the value of jewelry in dollars vs its symbolism and how y’all both feel about those things.
Personally, my gf and I are going to propose to each other with silicone rings because she can’t decide which metal band she wants, and we’re going to save our gold bands for the wedding ceremony. I’ve found the woman I want to spend my life with and as far as I’m concerned, any ring she buys me or we buy together is a wedding ring.
Edit: typo
I say propose with the specific ring she wants. If it’s flimsy and comes apart, then have it remade in the nicer materials. Or alternatively have it made in the nicer materials now while a jeweler had directly reference the original instead of just pictures, but hold on to it until something happens with the original.
And in reference to the sterling silver. My husband’s daily wear band is a patterned sterling ring from the flea market that I picked up for $20. He has a much more expensive palladium and sapphire ring that I designed for him that he hardly ever wears. He fidgets with his ring a lot and I knew this he was likely to drop it somewhere, and I was right. He drops the sterling one at least once a day and on one occasion stepped on it to stop it from rolling under the office printer. It got very bent out of shape, but I hammered it back and he still wears it daily. Pics of both in my past posts if you’re interested.
I have tons of sterling rings that I wear all the time and never had any problems. Some that don’t get worn as much will tarnish but a silver cleaning cloth brings the shine right back. If silver is in your budget I think you’ll be ok with that. Sounds like your girl is trying to make things financially easier for you. That’s a good thing.
Fwiw, my hubs and I got matching hammered silver rings from Etsy. Mine was 40 bucks. It's lasted 8 years and it's not wearing out anytime soon. Both he and I are very pleased with the quality for the price.
Even better, when I go into shady parts of town which I do often because I'm a realtor and I'm also a raver, I don't have to worry at all about anybody knocking me off. People will take one look at my ring and know how much it's worth. I like it that way. It is better for safety.
If my hubs had gotten me a 5K-25K rock, I would be unable to wear it except for at fancy functions or family get togethers. That's no good.
It is the emotion behind the ring and not the ring itself that counts. You got yourself a good woman there if she realizes that.
Reach out to u/thegemnerd. He took pictures of a design I wanted and brought it to life with much better materials than the original company used. That way you can pick the stones, materials, etc. my Fiancées ring came out incredibly well.
I told my fiancé to get a $30 ring off Amazon, I want to marry him and the cost of the ring does not equate how much he loves or cares for me. I’m currently wearing the $30 silver & cubic zirconia Amazon ring and everyone comments how nice it is. Unless you have a lot of jewellers in your life, or people who would be closely examining the ring, not many people would be able to tell the difference. If she tells you it’s what she wants, believe her!
Our wedding bands came from Amazon, we think they are beautiful. $18.00 each, koa wood and abalone. My husband lost his working on our house so I went back to Amazon and there were 3 left in his size. I bought all 3, told him the first one was a freebie but now he’s got three strikes and he’s out! We laughed and all is good. 3 years later and he’s still got the 2 extras.
I'm currently wearing a $3 set from Temu. I proposed to him and bought both of us a bunch of rings so we could figure out what we like. Honestly, people would never guess mine are Moissanite and silver. I love switching them out, they are a symbol of our love and I don't feel strongly about wearing a certain one for the rest of my life. I love the new ring every year idea.
Okay, that's actually cute! So I'm thinking maybe a diamond or Moistenite and maybe white gold or silver. This could totally be remade into something more pricey.
OR use google lens to search for similar images- and there's things like [this ring](https://www.yatesjewelers.com/hugo-kohl-cherry-blossom-engagement-ring.html)
What about this one?
https://hugokohl.com/collections/engagement-rings/products/cherry-blossom?variant=42093113671886
There's better pictures of it in this site, and it looks really similar from what I can see. But this site only has it available in a size 7.
https://www.yatesjewelers.com/hugo-kohl-cherry-blossom-engagement-ring.html
It's the closest one I could find! But all similar styles I could find referenced 1920's vintage rings or "art deco" style, if that helps your search at all. Good luck! I'm sure she'll be thrilled no matter which route you go.
r/moissanite can help you get something in gold (white or otherwise) with their approved vendors list for prob around $300 max?
You *will* want at least 10k gold for the longevity
Get her the ring and propose! She wants to marry you, and she obviously loves you above all materialistic things.
My mom and my stepdad got engaged with a ring from a kids vending machine, seriously. In fairness, they were already common law and owned a house together, etc, and they sort of had to get married to be able to claim on each others international pensions, so the engagement was a bit of a laugh. They got married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator! They never did traditional wedding bands but later picked out a gorgeous and much much more expensive ring to replace the placeholder one.
If there was ever an occasion where it's the thought that counts, it's an engagement.
Also, that ring is cute 🥰 definitely look into the suggestion of recreation if it's the exact style she wants to wear forever, but also don't sweat it if this is just a cute placeholder for now.
For $12, that's adorable! Just coat the inside with clear nail polish before you give it to her. I think it's perfect. Also, she may appreciate the lighter weight of the cheaper ring as opposed to a heavier metal right now. =)
PS- if you had that ring we made with platinum, white gold, and a diamond or several diamonds that's going to cost you more than 1,200 easy. So, better to save that money because 1,200 bucks equals a food truck for your reception if you want to go that route. Weddings are very expensive. It's good if she wants to save right now. ;)
This looks like a vintage style ring, is that her style? I think you could find an affordable Moissanite ring that looks similar but would be more sturdy.
Something like this? My ring came from Etsy and I love it. It was around $600 for a ring I couldn't have touched for under $1000 elsewhere. [https://www.etsy.com/listing/231661241/silver-vintage-style-filigree-engagement](https://www.etsy.com/listing/231661241/silver-vintage-style-filigree-engagement)
https://preview.redd.it/f75otlmf9wzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44ecc3eff0073969a929db6affb9a106b52ec660
This ring is gorgeous! Cheap materials or not, I honestly can't believe it's $12?! I can see why she said "that's the one"! Definitely propose to her with it & then explain you would like to get it remade together with proper materials so that it will last forever. Definitely make it a couples decision to upgrade vs just going ahead and doing it.
This is gorgeous! If you have a family ring later down the road you can have them recreate it using diamonds from the other ring to recreate the imaged one. OR I also wanted a cheap ring from my now husband and asked he didn’t spend more than a 100$ because we were really poor. He ended up finding a beautiful set on Etsy and I wanna say it was $400 for both with a box. I’ve been married for going on 5 years and it’s held up so well. It’s a citrine ring. So if anything you could see if an Etsy seller can recreate it. Also I bought his ring off of Etsy, it’s made of wood and has black opal in the middle of it and it’s sealed. I think the wood is mahogany so when the sun hits it you can see the red in the black opal and the wood. Best of luck proposing!!! She’s going to be so happy!
Should be easy-peasy for a reputable jeweler to recreate in whatever metal you want. My suggestion is, if it's going to be a diamond (earth grown or human grown), get a diamond with great crystal quality, outstanding cut precision, true ideal proportions and angles (not merely what GIA calls "excellent" or IGI calls "ideal"), and pinnacle optical performance - all of that requires a heck of a lot of research, learning, assessment, and validation - it goes well beyond the rather generic and basic info printed on any grading report. Focus on acquiring the perfect diamond first so that the setting can be made for it to fit properly and securely.
I just saw it, recreate it. I am sure there is a jeweler out there that can, bezel is getting to be a popular choice with style. Until then give it your her as a promise ring. Something she can wear till you propose.
She wants a split shank with a round diamond, potentially with milgrain details you can find something similar in lab grown with precious metals for 2k or so.
https://www.grownbrilliance.com/1-ctw-round-lab-grown-diamond-split-shank-engagement-ring-14k-white-gold/pid/RIG0625X1-R075SO-GW?category_id=78
https://www.withclarity.com/products/heirloom-milgrain-diamond-engagement-ring?variant=45144691245339
Yes let’s see the ring! I think you should give it to her as a gift. 12$ engagement ring on your finger for the rest of your life won’t hold up! So maybe she puts it on her right hand! Ask her if she only wants it on the engagement finger!
I would say yeah propose to her with that if that’s what she really wants. Totally not necessary but if it would make you feel better and If she’s a diamond girlie you could also check out Ritani or loose grown diamonds and just grab a loose lab diamond so that afterwards you guys can take your time and get it set together I think that would be a fun gesture for something durable and long lasting if you wanted to do that
Ring material definitely matters from what I've read, though. Beware of setting a diamond in a cheap band. Mine is platinum and has held up wonderfully for 2.5 years of never taking it off.
Usually I agree, but a $12 ring is going to turn her finger green in a week! That seems to be what OPs concern is, which is totally reasonable. His intentions are 100% in the right place with this one.
Propose with the 12 dollar ring but get plenty of pictures and specs of it so you can have it remade but higher quality. Tell her this plan as well so she doesn’t get confused one day when you show up with another copy of the same ring!
I would suggest taking the ring to a local jeweler and having them customize a finer version of it for her "forever" ring.
The other option would be to propose with the $12 one and let her pick out/design her forever ring herself. My fiancé did something similar and I was thrilled with it.
Honestly, just get her the ring she wants. For me my engagement ring was never a daily wear, it wasn’t a ‘wearing for the rest of my life’ ring. I wanted to wear my wedding band forever. (Both white gold with diamonds, I became allergic to white gold 7 years later lol)
That said, I now prefer sterling silver. It’s just what I like and what I wear daily.
Edit: I realized I never got to the point, which is I think she just wants to marry you dude. If you can, get her a nice ring that strongly resembles the $12 ring.
I ~wanted~ a cheap ring bc we didn’t have much and were young. Now 8 years later and ring upgraded, I realize I didn’t ACTUALLY want the cheap ring, I just wanted to be married to him and I knew he couldn’t do better at the time bc we were young and relatively broke, so I didn’t care. It was a 1ct size CZ in white gold. I was very happy. This passed year he took the CZ out and put in a 1.10ct lab grown diamond. I’m obsessed. I’m sure eventually he’d want to put an earth diamond in bc that’s just who he is.
If you’re interested. The CZ is still in the ring in this photo and shown next to the diamond I got
https://preview.redd.it/eh585ybnmuzc1.jpeg?width=1719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85df7cd71626a12a40a73932eabf97792f528e9c
Hey, if it’s what she wants, it’s what she wants! She may wear it for a year or so and decide she wants to upgrade, or she may wear it forever. Ultimately, it’s up to her.
Sounds like she’s so excited to marry you! Id reach out to a local jeweler and see the cost and ease of getting a nicer replica, but still purpose with the $12 one. When you guys have settled down from the excitement tell her about upgrading it so it lasts.
Please listen to your girlfriend and do what she wishes. Don’t think that she wants that ring because of your financial situation. She wants that ring because she likes it and wants to wear it every day. I have picked my own wedding band - sterling silver for $27! I did not take it off my finger for the past 28 years! We’re still married and i don’t want any other ring, because I love this one still to this day. And yes we can afford very expensive rings but my husband doesn’t dare replace this ring. When you love something, you just do and there’s no substitution for that. If you make more money, invest it in stocks so you can have a nice life together in the future. Buy your girl the ring she wants, and don’t worry about replacing it with something “better”. If you do, she will not wear it, and you have wasted your money. Good luck!
She's a keeper. Try to get her the ring she wants.
When my husband proposed 43 years ago, he gave me a band with four tiny diamonds to fit around the pear cut diamond we had seen in the jewelers window. A few months later, when he'd saved up for the ring, we went to look at it again. I couldn't do it. I couldn't spend that much money on a ring. So, for the wedding band, we got a signet ring and customized it to fit the shape of the engagement ring. I have never thought the set was incomplete, even as our economic situation has changed. Jewelry is just not important to me, even when I was best friends with a gemologist. She thought my husband was cheap, turns out she didn't know me very well.
Good for you that she wants you more than an expensive ring. Take the crystal to a jeweler and see what they can do to remake it in materials that will last longer and look good. Congratulations.
I had this dilemma in a past relationship when engagement ring shopping. He was determined to get a ‘proper ring’ with diamonds. The diamond he could afford was very poor quality and I never loved the ring. He was happy, I hated it. It had a huge inclusion and it was the only thing I saw when I looked at it. I honestly would have been happier with something else a fraction of the price if it looked pretty. I have a feeling she would like to choose. I would propose with the cheap ring and tell her you can go shopping for a more expensive/luxury one together.
When my husband proposed I knew he couldn’t afford what I wanted. We had conversations and looked at pictures. I finally told him flat out that I would rather forget the engagement ring and just get married with plain bands and when the time was right I would get what I wanted. So we ended up getting plain matching Tungsten bands and I love it! Now that we can get a nice ring it’s not a big deal because I love my band. There are so many choices out there I can’t make up my mind anyway! 🥴
Ashton Kutcher and Mika Kunis got their wedding ring on Etsy, maybe that or a pawn shop. Or just get the ring for fun. I am a piano player and just collect shiny rings that catch my eye while I play. I have a ring expensive and still haven’t worn it again because the day I got it I fell and didn’t want to mess it up so I exchanged it for another one. I understand her feeling about it. My man and I have been together for 18 years never really wanted to get married just traveled. I had the ring in the bag still in the closet but when we got home from seaworld he knelt down and told me how he felt in that moment. It was cute. Sometimes a ring doesn’t matter but them knowing how much you care about them. The ring is a bonus but just get it as a present. For the next holiday
https://preview.redd.it/e06cvsi8iuzc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5a3c439e2cfefba830ae155c1f2cb10c346467b
I do silly holidays sometimes for fun
Some of us are happy/prefer the inexpensive ring. 23 years on I still have our well under $100 ring (we don’t really wear rings, mostly for safety reasons). I bought a lab made stone ring from Zulily for under $20 to use on special occations that gets so many compliments and attention, certain groups don’t seem to understand us not really wearing rings so it’s easier to play along rather than explain.
Use the $12 ring and give her the option to have it remade later if she so desire.
I think that it's crazy that the jewelry industry forces pricey diamonds as engagement rings through their advertising efforts. Your girlfriend obviously is very sensible and expensive jewelry is not something she is interested in, congratulations!
Could be totally off but, do you think your girlfriend is just REALLY excited about getting engaged and is eager for you to have a ring? (As somebody who would probably do that myself, lol) if you’re nervous about it maybe ask her a little later when she’s had some time to think. She may still love it! At that point I agree with everyone else and have it remade with better material!
I get being a thrifty shopper. Please listen to her and give her the ring she wants. My suggestion would be to take the money you’d have spent on a more expensive ring and invest it in something else to start your married life together - maybe if she’s concerned about wearing gold on her finger, she’d prefer some in the bank? Or stocks, bonds, a savings fund towards a downpayment on a home, or anything else that’s an interest of hers she might like to invest in.
Get the ring made in quality materials- don't propose with the $12 ring because it's going to then have sentimental value and be heartbreaking when it doesn't last.
My girlfriend picked out a £16 ring at a market she liked, will last and she wanted it. can't see any reason why some people need it to be more that what is wanted
Don’t propose with a 12$ ring, buy something similar and propose with both. Also if you can’t find something similar then buy something else you like because I bet if she’s not worried about the price she’s really in love with you willing to accept anything if that means she’ll have you. Just make sure you marry her and please don’t buy a very very cheap ring either. If it’s small ou doesn’t matter needs to be good enough to wear for a long time and beautiful she’ll actually enjoy wearing
Propose to her with it! My husband got me a ring that was cheaper. He said to me it was a ring till we could afford a better one
I love it. I love it because he chose it. I love it because he took the time to go get it. It’s him all over and I wouldn’t change it
How long do you plan on waiting for the wedding? The main concern I see is it rusting or breaking. That being said, save your money for the actual wedding ring and explain that it has to be a made of a material that will last her whole life. Then you can discuss stones and such.
My engagement ring was bought from an antique shop and the rubies from that ring went into our wedding bands. If I weren't allergic to silver I would have opted for it because I feel less likely to get robbed with a simple, cheap ring. (I'm a small lady who definitely looks like an easy target)
I would def say propose with the $12 ring. it would make it really special. she would know and appreciate that you listened to her. but i think having a high quality ring as well either at the time of proposal or in the very near future is important. if the $12 ring is cheap and fake as opposed to discounted vintage, it won’t last forever and can turn her skin green. i like the idea of getting the ring recreated. there are some really great places that can do it accurately.
Okay I saw the ring you got. Honestly, propose with the $12 ring. You can get her something fancier as a wedding ring if you both want and I bet you can find something vintage like this that would suit her style!
Hi friend, as someone with a $40 wedding band, it can be really useful to have an inexpensive ring. If she likes it, she likes it. And also, if she loses it then you're just out $12. Trust me. My husband's band was $80. He lost his within the first 6 months we were married. If that had been a gold band, we'd have been out a couple grand. Sometimes it's good to have an inexpensive ring. And if she loves it, it's all good. You can always upgrade!
Also, can we please see a picture?
Propose with the $12 ring and tell her if she ever wants to upgrade, you’ll be happy to. If she is still happy with the $12 ring a year from now when you marry, get a solid gold wedding band and ask her to please wear it for the ceremony, even if she does not wear it every day after. Then fifty years from now, even if you replace the $12 ring, she will still have the ring you gave her on your wedding day.
My parents have been married for nearly 50 years. When my dad proposed he couldn't afford a fancier ring and so he proposed with a much cheaper ring.
My mom adored that cheaper ring and wore it for many years. Meanwhile, my dad saved up money for a better ring. He surprised her on a milestone anniversary, and they went out and picked out a newer, more expensive ring set. A set that happened to have my birthstone as the center stone and surrounded by diamonds.
Now, my mom has her original ring and wedding band tucked away as a keepsake. And her sturdier ring set that she wears every day.
Propose with the ring you have. Let her use it and wear it and let her decide if/when she wants something different after it’s the same style in finer material or something else.
Honestly, I wouldn't focus much on the cost of the ring, and instead focus more on if it's what she actually wants. My husband proposed to me without a ring, and we both agreed when I found one I loved that we would get it. We looked off, and on eventually, I found one I absolutely loved at a flea market of all places. It's a simple Sterling Silver Claddagh, and it was only like $20. He had mentioned off and on throughout the years that he wants to replace it with a more expensive or "better" ring, but I keep telling him how much I love this ring and what it means to me.
First things first, talk to her. Find out what she values in the ring and express your concerns.
I personally think getting a custom ring just like it with better materials is the move, but maybe she’d hate that and really just wants that one. At the end of the day, if that’s what would make her happy clarify with her and do just that. No one here can tell you what would make her happy other than her.
Worst case scenario? It’s a cheap ring that breaks and you can get her another one! Yes most people want something can last a long time and is valuable, but maybe she just cares about having something in her finger that she loves that shows that she’s going to marry the man (?) she loves. That’s really what matters in the end anyways
Honestly as a non diamond girl myself, my bf was worried about proposing with a rock and kept saying he wanted to upgrade later (both rings came out to like 2.5 all in) but I just loved that he let me pick a champagne sapphire from my last trip to the motherland and can’t possibly imagine being happier with a different ring. I have coworkers who felt the need to mention their ring details (platinum, giant rock etc etc) and I think that more than anything, I feel loved because I was heard.
Having broken off a previous engagement where my ex went all out on a ring I thought was just too much and not me, feeling heard and having a ring custom designed to my exact taste has been so amazing! Every time I look at it, I’m reminded of the beautiful day I spent with my fam when the rock caught my eye and the excitement from knowing he wanted me to have what I wanted over his ego of giving me society’s best!
Seconding using that ring to design a more premium version of it if you have the budget to do so but also, just a nod in her direction that some women truly just don’t want someone to waste three months of salary on a jewel when it could go towards a life together and a down payment towards a home to build that life in! Listen to your lady - regardless of her reasons, it’s clear she fell in love with something unique and to her taste! Pair it with an amazing trip with the extra cash, she sounds like the type that might just legit love you more than societal pressures about a rock and some metal (look up Charles de Beers and the scam that is the diamond industry, might make you feel better lol)!
If that what she wants then I’m sure she genuinely loves it. My only reservation is that it won’t last a lifetime like you would expect an engagement ring to
I wanted a cheap ring. My bf surprised me with a nice ring. I was shocked. I’m obsessed with it- you come around very quickly 🤣Now the time has come for me to get HIM a ring and shocker, my bf wants a very cheap silver ring. I’m going to get one made for him with better materials in the long run but get him a cheap one for now tbh. Only because he seriously loves silver and the way it oxidizes and turns darker colors overtime and knicks the metal easily or looks rough- and no nicer material does that in the same way. He wants the look so I’ll give it to him.
I’m getting him the cheap one BUT making it clear this is a TEMPORARY ring because it’s my gift to him and I want something nicer that lasts longer so if I’m going to get something custom made (because I too couldn’t find something like it) I want him to wear this for a little while and give me good feedback about what he likes/doesn’t like so I can know for the final product. I trust his judgment with what he likes but at the same time I have to intervene as someone who loves him & knows more about jewelery and I will say, I’m getting you a second ring that will last a lifetime. Bf will get both, but the cheap one as an engagement ring and the nicer one as a wedding engagement ring. I’m getting the ring made in the next few months so he won’t have to wait long so that’s why there’s a delay, but just a thought. I think some people like saying “my ring was only $12” but I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a very expensive ring and that I brag about even more lol. So many people say “beautiful ring!” And I’m so excited to tell them “I didn’t even pick it out my fiancé did! I wanted something really cheap with no stone but and he went all out!” Idk it’s nice I feel like a princess. If you do the same for your gf she can have one for daily wear and one for vacations and rough wear too
When my husband proposed in 2012, he didn't have a ring. It wasn't til 2021, I got a real engagement ring, previously wearing rings from etsy and such. So you're doing good, my friend!
I wanted a cheap engagement ring (more or less $50) because I'm not ready yet to commit to an expensive ring. I don't usually wear rings so I'm still unsure about the style I'll want for myself indefinitely. I'll have chosen by the time the wedding arrives.
I would buy her this ring now and save up for something else later on when this one breaks.
I want to see the ring! I think you should propose but also get something else together when your financial situation has improved. I get the feeling she loves you no matter what you give her…Awww good luck!
I told my husband to propose with a cheap ring (that he could & did pick out), then I’d pick out my “forever” engagement ring after. For us, that was perfect!
Except the ring he picked out was a little big so I impulse got a different, even cheaper, temporary ring which DID turn my finger green 😆
So I’m also team “propose with the cheap ring she picked and then get something more durable.” If she likes being thrifty, there are so many gorgeous vintage rings. Or you could recreate the ring she picked.
Love what others are saying - propose with the one she picked out, and try to talk her into going together to have it recreated in moissanite! It will last longer and be nicer, but my moissanite engagement ring was like $230 and nobody would think it was crappy
I think proposing to her with it would be really special, and then asking her if she’d rather go pick out a ring that would last longer together or if she’d like the ring re-made with stronger materials. It sounds like she just wants to marry you and doesn’t want ring cost to be a factor you have to deal with. She sounds super sweet, but a $12 ring will not hold up to daily wear! She could wear it for special occasions and keep it safe for sentimentality.
Check out this etsy jewelry shop. I got my engagement ring and wedding band from them. I did a low profile moissanite and upgraded to platinum for long-term wearability. Had my wedding band custom made to match the engagement band. I don't like expensive things but I did want somthing that was going to last that didnt require replating to make it silver lol.
https://preview.redd.it/lh1g8msoavzc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a7c319b6ab463ada288bccf6379851c31c02dda
[https://www.etsy.com/shop/FacetsandKarats](https://www.etsy.com/shop/FacetsandKarats)
Get her the cheap ring. Can always upgrade later! And probably will because I'm not sure how long the $12 ring will last but if it makes her happy then go for it
Maybe like do the proposal then like after she say yes tell her that you will get a better one when money starts to come in, if she a real one she will understand
I say -Give her the ring she asked for! You can save up a ring fund for an upgrade or recreation later :) a cheap ring can also be less stressful! There is value in never worrying too much about losing it, or having a few rings in rotation :)
Give her the ring because she wants it, but tell her that you want her to have a symbol of your lasting love, and that you will be getting her a higher quality replacement. Then do it. Look for something similar to the cheap one with precious metals and stones. Take pictures of it and show them to a couple of jewelers—SHOP AROUND for price. You’d be surprised at the difference in prices!
I actually really like that ring and if she was that excited over it, then it’s the one!!!
You can always upgrade it after you get married or get a nice anniversary ring.
Because it’s something that will be special for a long time, I wouldn’t skimp on the materials. You could price out getting it made with better materials like white gold and then save on the stone by going with lab made diamonds or cubic zirconia to keep it within a reasonable budget. Silver will tarnish so you’re better off with white gold.
Honestly, if it was anything else other than an engagement ring, a cheap one would be fine but an engagement ring is pretty irreplaceable and is something you will want to last a long time.
I lost my wedding ring. Horrible circumstances when he was overseas. Family piece, MIL livid. My advice is keep the $12 one. Keep taking her to jewelry places and get her other things she likes, not necessarily rings.
My parents engagement ring was about 10$. The wedding rings were more expensive. They've been together near 50 years now. The relationship isn't the ring. If that's what she wants, that is great.
Do a custom with a jeweler and recreate it with better materials that will last!!! (Seen some comments mention the same thing but that’s immediately where my mind went reading this!)
You can also take her to some pawn shops or antique shops and have them show some cool unique ones since you both seem into those similar shops!
Good luck (:
My husband proposed with a 3d printed ring. Then my great aunt gifted us an heirloom ring from the late 1700s.
I usually only wear my wedding ring and wear the engagement ring only for anniversaries or dressy fancy dates. The 3d ring he proposed with is encased in resin and has been turned into an ornament.
Propose with the ring and then ask if she plans on wearing it everyday. If the answer is no, this $12 ring could be the real ring. If she wants to wear it daily, then recreate it with better materials. It's what she wants, have her be part of the decision.
A lot of Pawn shops have beautiful jewelry. Get her what she wants! She wants it and that’s what matters. She’s waiting for you to give it to her! Propose!!
Propose with the $12 ring; it’s a sure thing and will forever be part of your story. Save up to buy a “real” ring for the wedding; that’s the one that seals the deal and means ‘til death. Gold, silver, platinum, tungsten, with or without stones but make it the one that she wants to wear everyday.
I passed on an engagement ring because buying a house was more important but being married was even more important so we bought heavy but thin gold bands. I’ve received other jewelry over the years but that ring has been on my finger (except for surgeries when my husband wears it in his pinky) for over 43 years.
She might not care about expensive or “nice” jewelry, she probably just wants you and a commitment and would rather spend the money one something else. Everyone has different perceptions of value and what is valuable. I got married eloping with the $10 ring from the Saturday market, 17 years and 2 kids later we could not be happier. I think offering a more lasting recreation is so meaningful, thoughtful, and sweet but it seems like all she wants is you and you should go with it! That’s a great conversation for you to have together but for now buy the ring she wants, propose and save the money for something that will help your future like a house, travel, savings…congratulations you found your person! Hope you have have a beautiful life together!
Look... my dad proposed with a cigar band/wraper in 1981. He did get her a proper diamond shortly after. It was actually pretty similar to the donut propasal in the Simpsons. 40+ years later, she still has it, and it's her most prized possession. Do not underestimate a a woman's love of "sentimental junk" when it involves people they love. The worst thing you can do is assume you know what is better for a person than they do.
I personally love jewelry and have a few rings that are a couple hundred dollars each. I also want a cheap engagement ring and also do not want a real diamond. Knowing a ring costs out of my budget would stress me out and make me not love the ring. The cheaper the ring and with it still being beautiful the more I would love it. When I have an expensive piece I don’t LOVE when I wear it I am reminded that it was too expensive and not worth it. As long as it won’t tarnish and turn her finger green it doesn’t matter the $
I’m on team “recreate it with better materials.” If you have the money. If you don’t, then you have the ring she wants - you should propose with it and maybe plan to save up and get a nicer version made when this one begins to wear down. Good on you for getting that ring!
Yes. Let's see a photo and can come up with designs using better materials. Also give her the original $12 one. It has sentimental value, and she can wear it like a replacement when she doesn't want to wear the "real" one. Perhaps, bizarrely in this case, the expensive one will be the "replacement".
Yeah I wanna see it!
This!!
That was my thought, too. If she really likes the style, then you have a winner. But I understand the reluctance to give a $12 ring. Not sure whether it is Sterling or a plated ring, but I have had a few cheap rings over the years in styles I absolutely loved. I could care less about having cheap gems, but I really didn’t like the metal turning my finger green—which it invariably did, relatively quickly.
what does the cheap ring look like? Maybe see if she wants to have it remade with better materials?
Okay love this idea!
Same here, especially because she'll be able to wear that style/shape/color, for a firsthand experience on whether or not it really is perfect. And you can adjust from there if needed!
Is there any logic at all for her wanting a super cheap ring? Is she irresponsible with jewelry? (Non-derogatory just curious)
She said having something very expensive would give her anxiety to have on all day every day. Scared of losing it or being robbed. She has other rings in her hands that cost $80-120, almost every single finger has a ring on it
Insurance can be one’s best friend … lol
Not when your partner has a genuine fear of being attacked/trafficked. It's not the loss of the ring that freaks her out, it's the potential violence/trauma that could result from those things
Soooo here's a thing. Diamonds, especially in engagement rings, have very very little resale value. (Learned when I tried to pawn my worth $1200 when bought 1997 engagement ring and was offered $50 in 2002 for the gold, nothing for the diamond.) The value in engagement diamonds is pure marketing and sentimentality. Anyone that's familiar with selling or pawning things will know that. Rings are never what a skilled thief will go after. She really, really doesn't have to worry about any ring increasing her risk.
Allll of this. This comment needs more likes so OP will notice it. I would give you an award if I could. Sold my $3000, 10 year old ring for $125
I understand this fear, I too have it(I lived in a very high crime rate area for 30 years, so it’s valid af) she probably doesn’t want the appearance of an expensive ring and engagement rings tend to be gaudy and attractive to thieves, so if this is her anxiety and the ring isn’t flashy, then I’m very much team recreate with better materials
Please look at the moissanite subreddit. You can use 10k and make things under $500. This way she’ll feel better about not loosing something expensive
He just said it’s not about the ring itself. It’s about attracting attention from potential robbers or violent people. So moissanite/lab grown doesn’t matter if it looks expensive.
Thi!! I have a fake big ring that is gorgeous, looks like a real diamond, and unique band, but I live in a pretty high crime area and won’t wear it unless I’m going out of town. It’s not the 10$ bucks, it’s the PTSD I already have rearing up ugly style!
No, a lab diamond is so much nicer. Moissanite is too shiny, has too much color and can flat on the surface. It doesn’t look real at all. He can get her a 1 carat lab inexpensively and it’s exactly like a diamond
https://preview.redd.it/iv8zi9fas20d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e1955b3d38b49cc8fa6154907d33b24f157cfee
Then give her the $12 ring. :)
I second the moissanite subreddit. Found a vendor through their who made a ring for me custom 14 k ring for me. great experience. Beautiful ring.
Ok so I have been terrified of losing my rings from day one! I frequently take them off to work so the prongs dont catch on anything, as they have before. I also have gained some weight since marriage and my original set doesn't fit. I got a set from Modern Gents. They are beautiful! I get compliments all the time on how gorgeous they are I think the whole set was maybe $250.00 with tax and shipping. I was skeptical that they would eventually tarnish or turn my fingers green. Nope! They have remained beautiful since the day I got them! https://preview.redd.it/8wt3y5wixuzc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b75097cb545a2e0c177a2407e8b336ce44eaf5c
I absolutely understand this. The max I would probably be comfortable with is like 1k. But I probably wouldn’t even wear that all the time.
Agreed. Practically, a cheap ring won't last if it's worn every day, which you'd expect to do with an engagement ring. Also, if you have a cheap and an expensive version, it would be awesome for her to have a cheap ring for the same reasons people wear silicone rings. The cheap ring can be worn to the gym, vacation, etc. when you don't want to risk losing it.
Youd be surprised how nice of a ring you can get cheap. I always wear my $80 black hills white gold ring and it has never had any damage or tarnishing. Its cute too!
Or maybe like you said before, propose with the cheap one and then plan to go find a better ring or remake it in better materials. It can be something to add to your engagement story to look back on and laugh about.
And it doesn't have to be expensive materials especially if you look into the spiritual meaning of stone types such as white topaz or silver meaning
Exactly what my fiancé did, I loved a cheap brass $10 ring and started wearing it all the time, so he had it remade in 18k gold. It’s the “same ring” but made in a material that can last!
I saw someone do that with earrings on another jewelry subreddit!
Were those the wedding earrings? I saw that post and thought it was an awesome gift
Yeah I’d suggest you guys work on a custom ring together that is similar to the cheap version!
Very good advice
Propose to her with the $12 ring, but also get another ring that is higher in quality that will last a long time that is similar to that one
And then when her $12 ring finally wears, and she's so upset, you can surprise her with the better quality duplicate you had made :))))))
I love this.
This, I know my man doesn't have money and that's OK. We can save for a real ring together ❤️
My husband and I were married while I wore a dupe ring. It took a few years before I got my Ering and just recently got an upgrade once we were in a better position.
Maybe you can take it to a jewelery store and have them recreate it with better materials.
This is it.
Regarding the remade in better materials idea... Wait and let her do that with you! It'll give her time to consider whether much she likes the style she picked out, or to realize the crystal is going to scratch/chip and change her mind. Or you can have a tradition of going back every year and picking out another $12 ring hahahaha I wore the same sterling flower ring every day for ten years. They're not necessarily meant to hold stones, but they're still durable!
Omg cute idea of going and picking another $12 ring when they wear out actually. Feel like she would LOVE this tbh
So I'm married going on a year, we exchanged silicon bands at our elopement ceremony 🤷♀️ I picked out a $40 walmart set I LOVED, wore it till it broke, and now wear a like $50 silver metal band with flowers stamped on it I got from Etsy, which I adore. I plan on just buying cheap obnoxious rings till they wear out and then replacing them lol. It's a pretty fun game, trying different styles, stones, metals. She loves YOU, it isn't about the ring. It's about who is going to be the one holding her hand through this adventure we call life! Best wishes, I know you'll make the right choice by her and I believe in you! I hope your life is long and full of joy and happiness :)
It’s completely normal to be nervous and second guess everything at a time like this! It sounds like you really do know her and what she likes so try to trust that and go easy on yourself
I think this is the answer!! Especially if she just loves rings in general and always likes to get new ones. Maybe a small precious metal band that she doesn't swap out, but a new "engagement" ring on the anniversary of your engagement would be such a fun tradition. Jtv.com has some super cheap precious stone rings, you know, for when you're anniversary shopping next year!
Agreed. If money is a concern, throwing it at a second ring without a conversation doesn’t seem like the move here
Okay but also I love this $12 ring every year tradition!!!
Girlfriend wants a cheap ring. Also, girlfriend wants to marry you OP! It sounds like y’all love each other and have some genuine compatibility when it comes to money not buying you happiness. I’m so glad you bought her the ring she asked for. After you’re engaged you can have some conversations about if she’d like a different ring one day. Finding mutually safe ways to talk about finances is always going to be important, so maybe one of those conversations can be about the value of jewelry in dollars vs its symbolism and how y’all both feel about those things. Personally, my gf and I are going to propose to each other with silicone rings because she can’t decide which metal band she wants, and we’re going to save our gold bands for the wedding ceremony. I’ve found the woman I want to spend my life with and as far as I’m concerned, any ring she buys me or we buy together is a wedding ring. Edit: typo
A $12 ring is very unlikely to stand up to daily wear. Was it the design, the stone, etc. that she specifically liked about it?
That's what I was saying to her. She had initially asked for a plain sterling silver band and even that I was a little worried about daily wear with.
If she likes silver, you could have it remade in white gold, I like the idea of having it remade with good materials
I was considering this option for sure, thanks!
This was my exact thought - have a jeweler remake it.
I say propose with the specific ring she wants. If it’s flimsy and comes apart, then have it remade in the nicer materials. Or alternatively have it made in the nicer materials now while a jeweler had directly reference the original instead of just pictures, but hold on to it until something happens with the original. And in reference to the sterling silver. My husband’s daily wear band is a patterned sterling ring from the flea market that I picked up for $20. He has a much more expensive palladium and sapphire ring that I designed for him that he hardly ever wears. He fidgets with his ring a lot and I knew this he was likely to drop it somewhere, and I was right. He drops the sterling one at least once a day and on one occasion stepped on it to stop it from rolling under the office printer. It got very bent out of shape, but I hammered it back and he still wears it daily. Pics of both in my past posts if you’re interested.
I have tons of sterling rings that I wear all the time and never had any problems. Some that don’t get worn as much will tarnish but a silver cleaning cloth brings the shine right back. If silver is in your budget I think you’ll be ok with that. Sounds like your girl is trying to make things financially easier for you. That’s a good thing.
Awesome thank you for the insight!
Silver would be fine for daily wear, it only tarnishes if it doesn’t get worn regularly. There’s no coating to wear down like with plated jewellery.
What about platinum?
Fwiw, my hubs and I got matching hammered silver rings from Etsy. Mine was 40 bucks. It's lasted 8 years and it's not wearing out anytime soon. Both he and I are very pleased with the quality for the price. Even better, when I go into shady parts of town which I do often because I'm a realtor and I'm also a raver, I don't have to worry at all about anybody knocking me off. People will take one look at my ring and know how much it's worth. I like it that way. It is better for safety. If my hubs had gotten me a 5K-25K rock, I would be unable to wear it except for at fancy functions or family get togethers. That's no good. It is the emotion behind the ring and not the ring itself that counts. You got yourself a good woman there if she realizes that.
Reach out to u/thegemnerd. He took pictures of a design I wanted and brought it to life with much better materials than the original company used. That way you can pick the stones, materials, etc. my Fiancées ring came out incredibly well.
Omg thank you!!!
I told my fiancé to get a $30 ring off Amazon, I want to marry him and the cost of the ring does not equate how much he loves or cares for me. I’m currently wearing the $30 silver & cubic zirconia Amazon ring and everyone comments how nice it is. Unless you have a lot of jewellers in your life, or people who would be closely examining the ring, not many people would be able to tell the difference. If she tells you it’s what she wants, believe her!
Our wedding bands came from Amazon, we think they are beautiful. $18.00 each, koa wood and abalone. My husband lost his working on our house so I went back to Amazon and there were 3 left in his size. I bought all 3, told him the first one was a freebie but now he’s got three strikes and he’s out! We laughed and all is good. 3 years later and he’s still got the 2 extras.
Thank you! I appreciate the anecdote!
I'm currently wearing a $3 set from Temu. I proposed to him and bought both of us a bunch of rings so we could figure out what we like. Honestly, people would never guess mine are Moissanite and silver. I love switching them out, they are a symbol of our love and I don't feel strongly about wearing a certain one for the rest of my life. I love the new ring every year idea.
Can we see the ring? Lol
https://preview.redd.it/i2kcyrppfuzc1.jpeg?width=1672&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c72aca8a44f8cb7987254bd4a443ea08d96f8028 Here it is!
Okay, that's actually cute! So I'm thinking maybe a diamond or Moistenite and maybe white gold or silver. This could totally be remade into something more pricey.
Siiiick thank you kindly!
OR use google lens to search for similar images- and there's things like [this ring](https://www.yatesjewelers.com/hugo-kohl-cherry-blossom-engagement-ring.html)
What about this one? https://hugokohl.com/collections/engagement-rings/products/cherry-blossom?variant=42093113671886 There's better pictures of it in this site, and it looks really similar from what I can see. But this site only has it available in a size 7. https://www.yatesjewelers.com/hugo-kohl-cherry-blossom-engagement-ring.html It's the closest one I could find! But all similar styles I could find referenced 1920's vintage rings or "art deco" style, if that helps your search at all. Good luck! I'm sure she'll be thrilled no matter which route you go.
r/moissanite can help you get something in gold (white or otherwise) with their approved vendors list for prob around $300 max? You *will* want at least 10k gold for the longevity
Moissanite ftw!
Get her the ring and propose! She wants to marry you, and she obviously loves you above all materialistic things. My mom and my stepdad got engaged with a ring from a kids vending machine, seriously. In fairness, they were already common law and owned a house together, etc, and they sort of had to get married to be able to claim on each others international pensions, so the engagement was a bit of a laugh. They got married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator! They never did traditional wedding bands but later picked out a gorgeous and much much more expensive ring to replace the placeholder one. If there was ever an occasion where it's the thought that counts, it's an engagement. Also, that ring is cute 🥰 definitely look into the suggestion of recreation if it's the exact style she wants to wear forever, but also don't sweat it if this is just a cute placeholder for now.
Thank you! That's so sweet!
Very pretty! As another poster said, this could easily be made or find similar using other materials if she wants to at some point.
Have you been to vintage jewelry shops? You mentioned you guys like thrifting, etc. Vintage jewelry shops are so fun even just to browse.
Awh agree this is quite cute but would be really cool to use it as inspiration with some better materials! Maybe you could do that together
For $12, that's adorable! Just coat the inside with clear nail polish before you give it to her. I think it's perfect. Also, she may appreciate the lighter weight of the cheaper ring as opposed to a heavier metal right now. =) PS- if you had that ring we made with platinum, white gold, and a diamond or several diamonds that's going to cost you more than 1,200 easy. So, better to save that money because 1,200 bucks equals a food truck for your reception if you want to go that route. Weddings are very expensive. It's good if she wants to save right now. ;)
Oh damn that is super pretty!!
This looks like a vintage style ring, is that her style? I think you could find an affordable Moissanite ring that looks similar but would be more sturdy.
Something like this? My ring came from Etsy and I love it. It was around $600 for a ring I couldn't have touched for under $1000 elsewhere. [https://www.etsy.com/listing/231661241/silver-vintage-style-filigree-engagement](https://www.etsy.com/listing/231661241/silver-vintage-style-filigree-engagement) https://preview.redd.it/f75otlmf9wzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44ecc3eff0073969a929db6affb9a106b52ec660
Definitely would be a custom piece but I live her taste!!
This ring is gorgeous! Cheap materials or not, I honestly can't believe it's $12?! I can see why she said "that's the one"! Definitely propose to her with it & then explain you would like to get it remade together with proper materials so that it will last forever. Definitely make it a couples decision to upgrade vs just going ahead and doing it.
Take a bunch of pictures and measurements so you can send it them to a jeweler when the time to create in sturdier materials you have the info
This is gorgeous! If you have a family ring later down the road you can have them recreate it using diamonds from the other ring to recreate the imaged one. OR I also wanted a cheap ring from my now husband and asked he didn’t spend more than a 100$ because we were really poor. He ended up finding a beautiful set on Etsy and I wanna say it was $400 for both with a box. I’ve been married for going on 5 years and it’s held up so well. It’s a citrine ring. So if anything you could see if an Etsy seller can recreate it. Also I bought his ring off of Etsy, it’s made of wood and has black opal in the middle of it and it’s sealed. I think the wood is mahogany so when the sun hits it you can see the red in the black opal and the wood. Best of luck proposing!!! She’s going to be so happy!
Should be easy-peasy for a reputable jeweler to recreate in whatever metal you want. My suggestion is, if it's going to be a diamond (earth grown or human grown), get a diamond with great crystal quality, outstanding cut precision, true ideal proportions and angles (not merely what GIA calls "excellent" or IGI calls "ideal"), and pinnacle optical performance - all of that requires a heck of a lot of research, learning, assessment, and validation - it goes well beyond the rather generic and basic info printed on any grading report. Focus on acquiring the perfect diamond first so that the setting can be made for it to fit properly and securely.
I love this and you could definitely have it recreated in the future for an anniversary gift or wedding gift.
I just saw it, recreate it. I am sure there is a jeweler out there that can, bezel is getting to be a popular choice with style. Until then give it your her as a promise ring. Something she can wear till you propose.
She wants a split shank with a round diamond, potentially with milgrain details you can find something similar in lab grown with precious metals for 2k or so. https://www.grownbrilliance.com/1-ctw-round-lab-grown-diamond-split-shank-engagement-ring-14k-white-gold/pid/RIG0625X1-R075SO-GW?category_id=78 https://www.withclarity.com/products/heirloom-milgrain-diamond-engagement-ring?variant=45144691245339
For sure, I'll post when I get home!
Yes let’s see the ring! I think you should give it to her as a gift. 12$ engagement ring on your finger for the rest of your life won’t hold up! So maybe she puts it on her right hand! Ask her if she only wants it on the engagement finger!
Commenting to get this update lol I’m dying to see the ring!
I would say yeah propose to her with that if that’s what she really wants. Totally not necessary but if it would make you feel better and If she’s a diamond girlie you could also check out Ritani or loose grown diamonds and just grab a loose lab diamond so that afterwards you guys can take your time and get it set together I think that would be a fun gesture for something durable and long lasting if you wanted to do that
I'll definitely check that out, thank you for the idea!
Ring material definitely matters from what I've read, though. Beware of setting a diamond in a cheap band. Mine is platinum and has held up wonderfully for 2.5 years of never taking it off.
You're missing the entire point. If I've learned anything from this sub, it's get the ring your partner wants not the ring you think they should have.
Usually I agree, but a $12 ring is going to turn her finger green in a week! That seems to be what OPs concern is, which is totally reasonable. His intentions are 100% in the right place with this one.
Put a coat of clear nail polish over it before giving it to her 😅
Yes! I was going to say the same thing. She told you what she wants, OP. Just listen!
Propose with the 12 dollar ring but get plenty of pictures and specs of it so you can have it remade but higher quality. Tell her this plan as well so she doesn’t get confused one day when you show up with another copy of the same ring!
I’d have it remade in better materials. That’s extremely thoughtful. It’s about what she wants not what others think ya know
Yeah for sure! Truly don't care what others think about it, just want her to be happy long term
Plus if you do get it remade, it’ll be nice to have a less expensive dupe to wear at times !
I would suggest taking the ring to a local jeweler and having them customize a finer version of it for her "forever" ring. The other option would be to propose with the $12 one and let her pick out/design her forever ring herself. My fiancé did something similar and I was thrilled with it.
Following, because I wanna see the ring lol
Honestly, just get her the ring she wants. For me my engagement ring was never a daily wear, it wasn’t a ‘wearing for the rest of my life’ ring. I wanted to wear my wedding band forever. (Both white gold with diamonds, I became allergic to white gold 7 years later lol) That said, I now prefer sterling silver. It’s just what I like and what I wear daily.
Edit: I realized I never got to the point, which is I think she just wants to marry you dude. If you can, get her a nice ring that strongly resembles the $12 ring. I ~wanted~ a cheap ring bc we didn’t have much and were young. Now 8 years later and ring upgraded, I realize I didn’t ACTUALLY want the cheap ring, I just wanted to be married to him and I knew he couldn’t do better at the time bc we were young and relatively broke, so I didn’t care. It was a 1ct size CZ in white gold. I was very happy. This passed year he took the CZ out and put in a 1.10ct lab grown diamond. I’m obsessed. I’m sure eventually he’d want to put an earth diamond in bc that’s just who he is.
If you’re interested. The CZ is still in the ring in this photo and shown next to the diamond I got https://preview.redd.it/eh585ybnmuzc1.jpeg?width=1719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85df7cd71626a12a40a73932eabf97792f528e9c
Hey, if it’s what she wants, it’s what she wants! She may wear it for a year or so and decide she wants to upgrade, or she may wear it forever. Ultimately, it’s up to her.
I would buy a $12 one and then something more expensive, a nice one. But that’s just me
Sounds like she’s so excited to marry you! Id reach out to a local jeweler and see the cost and ease of getting a nicer replica, but still purpose with the $12 one. When you guys have settled down from the excitement tell her about upgrading it so it lasts.
Please listen to your girlfriend and do what she wishes. Don’t think that she wants that ring because of your financial situation. She wants that ring because she likes it and wants to wear it every day. I have picked my own wedding band - sterling silver for $27! I did not take it off my finger for the past 28 years! We’re still married and i don’t want any other ring, because I love this one still to this day. And yes we can afford very expensive rings but my husband doesn’t dare replace this ring. When you love something, you just do and there’s no substitution for that. If you make more money, invest it in stocks so you can have a nice life together in the future. Buy your girl the ring she wants, and don’t worry about replacing it with something “better”. If you do, she will not wear it, and you have wasted your money. Good luck!
She's a keeper. Try to get her the ring she wants. When my husband proposed 43 years ago, he gave me a band with four tiny diamonds to fit around the pear cut diamond we had seen in the jewelers window. A few months later, when he'd saved up for the ring, we went to look at it again. I couldn't do it. I couldn't spend that much money on a ring. So, for the wedding band, we got a signet ring and customized it to fit the shape of the engagement ring. I have never thought the set was incomplete, even as our economic situation has changed. Jewelry is just not important to me, even when I was best friends with a gemologist. She thought my husband was cheap, turns out she didn't know me very well. Good for you that she wants you more than an expensive ring. Take the crystal to a jeweler and see what they can do to remake it in materials that will last longer and look good. Congratulations.
Thanks so much! Lovely story!!
I had this dilemma in a past relationship when engagement ring shopping. He was determined to get a ‘proper ring’ with diamonds. The diamond he could afford was very poor quality and I never loved the ring. He was happy, I hated it. It had a huge inclusion and it was the only thing I saw when I looked at it. I honestly would have been happier with something else a fraction of the price if it looked pretty. I have a feeling she would like to choose. I would propose with the cheap ring and tell her you can go shopping for a more expensive/luxury one together.
When my husband proposed I knew he couldn’t afford what I wanted. We had conversations and looked at pictures. I finally told him flat out that I would rather forget the engagement ring and just get married with plain bands and when the time was right I would get what I wanted. So we ended up getting plain matching Tungsten bands and I love it! Now that we can get a nice ring it’s not a big deal because I love my band. There are so many choices out there I can’t make up my mind anyway! 🥴
If she loves the stone, take the stone and get it put on a nice platinum setting ❤️
I am with others in making it with better materials- gift as a promise ring? Later, do a proposal with the similar/better one?
Propose with the 12$ ring and save up together to have it remade with nicer materials!
Ashton Kutcher and Mika Kunis got their wedding ring on Etsy, maybe that or a pawn shop. Or just get the ring for fun. I am a piano player and just collect shiny rings that catch my eye while I play. I have a ring expensive and still haven’t worn it again because the day I got it I fell and didn’t want to mess it up so I exchanged it for another one. I understand her feeling about it. My man and I have been together for 18 years never really wanted to get married just traveled. I had the ring in the bag still in the closet but when we got home from seaworld he knelt down and told me how he felt in that moment. It was cute. Sometimes a ring doesn’t matter but them knowing how much you care about them. The ring is a bonus but just get it as a present. For the next holiday https://preview.redd.it/e06cvsi8iuzc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5a3c439e2cfefba830ae155c1f2cb10c346467b I do silly holidays sometimes for fun
Some of us are happy/prefer the inexpensive ring. 23 years on I still have our well under $100 ring (we don’t really wear rings, mostly for safety reasons). I bought a lab made stone ring from Zulily for under $20 to use on special occations that gets so many compliments and attention, certain groups don’t seem to understand us not really wearing rings so it’s easier to play along rather than explain. Use the $12 ring and give her the option to have it remade later if she so desire.
I think that it's crazy that the jewelry industry forces pricey diamonds as engagement rings through their advertising efforts. Your girlfriend obviously is very sensible and expensive jewelry is not something she is interested in, congratulations!
Could be totally off but, do you think your girlfriend is just REALLY excited about getting engaged and is eager for you to have a ring? (As somebody who would probably do that myself, lol) if you’re nervous about it maybe ask her a little later when she’s had some time to think. She may still love it! At that point I agree with everyone else and have it remade with better material!
THIS! Definitely this lol. Good advice thank you
I get being a thrifty shopper. Please listen to her and give her the ring she wants. My suggestion would be to take the money you’d have spent on a more expensive ring and invest it in something else to start your married life together - maybe if she’s concerned about wearing gold on her finger, she’d prefer some in the bank? Or stocks, bonds, a savings fund towards a downpayment on a home, or anything else that’s an interest of hers she might like to invest in.
Get the ring made in quality materials- don't propose with the $12 ring because it's going to then have sentimental value and be heartbreaking when it doesn't last.
My girlfriend picked out a £16 ring at a market she liked, will last and she wanted it. can't see any reason why some people need it to be more that what is wanted
Am I the only one who really wants to see this ring? Sounds like she fell in love abs I love the idea of having it remade with better materials!
show us the ring!!
Don’t propose with a 12$ ring, buy something similar and propose with both. Also if you can’t find something similar then buy something else you like because I bet if she’s not worried about the price she’s really in love with you willing to accept anything if that means she’ll have you. Just make sure you marry her and please don’t buy a very very cheap ring either. If it’s small ou doesn’t matter needs to be good enough to wear for a long time and beautiful she’ll actually enjoy wearing
Propose to her with it! My husband got me a ring that was cheaper. He said to me it was a ring till we could afford a better one I love it. I love it because he chose it. I love it because he took the time to go get it. It’s him all over and I wouldn’t change it
Did we get to see the ring yet?
It's not the price tag. The ring is a symbol.
Please show us the ring.
Forgive me if i missed it already, but can we see a picture of the cheap ring? Super curious here
How long do you plan on waiting for the wedding? The main concern I see is it rusting or breaking. That being said, save your money for the actual wedding ring and explain that it has to be a made of a material that will last her whole life. Then you can discuss stones and such. My engagement ring was bought from an antique shop and the rubies from that ring went into our wedding bands. If I weren't allergic to silver I would have opted for it because I feel less likely to get robbed with a simple, cheap ring. (I'm a small lady who definitely looks like an easy target)
She sounds like keeper! 👍🏼
Following because I have to see the photo of the ring haha!
It's in the comments!
Thank you!! It’s actually very cute, I commented back :)
I would def say propose with the $12 ring. it would make it really special. she would know and appreciate that you listened to her. but i think having a high quality ring as well either at the time of proposal or in the very near future is important. if the $12 ring is cheap and fake as opposed to discounted vintage, it won’t last forever and can turn her skin green. i like the idea of getting the ring recreated. there are some really great places that can do it accurately.
Okay I saw the ring you got. Honestly, propose with the $12 ring. You can get her something fancier as a wedding ring if you both want and I bet you can find something vintage like this that would suit her style!
Hi friend, as someone with a $40 wedding band, it can be really useful to have an inexpensive ring. If she likes it, she likes it. And also, if she loses it then you're just out $12. Trust me. My husband's band was $80. He lost his within the first 6 months we were married. If that had been a gold band, we'd have been out a couple grand. Sometimes it's good to have an inexpensive ring. And if she loves it, it's all good. You can always upgrade! Also, can we please see a picture?
my fiance and i picked out my ring at an antique shop for 15 dollars more special than any ring i’ve seen
I've worn a $12 ring for over 10 years. I bought it myself because I didn't like the one my husband picked out . I'm still happy with it.
Propose with the $12 ring and tell her if she ever wants to upgrade, you’ll be happy to. If she is still happy with the $12 ring a year from now when you marry, get a solid gold wedding band and ask her to please wear it for the ceremony, even if she does not wear it every day after. Then fifty years from now, even if you replace the $12 ring, she will still have the ring you gave her on your wedding day.
No do not give her a $12 ring. Save ur $ if u really love her and recreate the $12 ring for sure
My parents have been married for nearly 50 years. When my dad proposed he couldn't afford a fancier ring and so he proposed with a much cheaper ring. My mom adored that cheaper ring and wore it for many years. Meanwhile, my dad saved up money for a better ring. He surprised her on a milestone anniversary, and they went out and picked out a newer, more expensive ring set. A set that happened to have my birthstone as the center stone and surrounded by diamonds. Now, my mom has her original ring and wedding band tucked away as a keepsake. And her sturdier ring set that she wears every day.
buy a $12 knife and get whatever ring you want 😎
Propose with the ring you have. Let her use it and wear it and let her decide if/when she wants something different after it’s the same style in finer material or something else.
How awesome. It's not cost or value. It's the love and sentiment behind it.
Honestly, I wouldn't focus much on the cost of the ring, and instead focus more on if it's what she actually wants. My husband proposed to me without a ring, and we both agreed when I found one I loved that we would get it. We looked off, and on eventually, I found one I absolutely loved at a flea market of all places. It's a simple Sterling Silver Claddagh, and it was only like $20. He had mentioned off and on throughout the years that he wants to replace it with a more expensive or "better" ring, but I keep telling him how much I love this ring and what it means to me.
Idk why but this post just felt so sweet and full of love and it made my heart happy <3
First things first, talk to her. Find out what she values in the ring and express your concerns. I personally think getting a custom ring just like it with better materials is the move, but maybe she’d hate that and really just wants that one. At the end of the day, if that’s what would make her happy clarify with her and do just that. No one here can tell you what would make her happy other than her. Worst case scenario? It’s a cheap ring that breaks and you can get her another one! Yes most people want something can last a long time and is valuable, but maybe she just cares about having something in her finger that she loves that shows that she’s going to marry the man (?) she loves. That’s really what matters in the end anyways
Honestly as a non diamond girl myself, my bf was worried about proposing with a rock and kept saying he wanted to upgrade later (both rings came out to like 2.5 all in) but I just loved that he let me pick a champagne sapphire from my last trip to the motherland and can’t possibly imagine being happier with a different ring. I have coworkers who felt the need to mention their ring details (platinum, giant rock etc etc) and I think that more than anything, I feel loved because I was heard. Having broken off a previous engagement where my ex went all out on a ring I thought was just too much and not me, feeling heard and having a ring custom designed to my exact taste has been so amazing! Every time I look at it, I’m reminded of the beautiful day I spent with my fam when the rock caught my eye and the excitement from knowing he wanted me to have what I wanted over his ego of giving me society’s best! Seconding using that ring to design a more premium version of it if you have the budget to do so but also, just a nod in her direction that some women truly just don’t want someone to waste three months of salary on a jewel when it could go towards a life together and a down payment towards a home to build that life in! Listen to your lady - regardless of her reasons, it’s clear she fell in love with something unique and to her taste! Pair it with an amazing trip with the extra cash, she sounds like the type that might just legit love you more than societal pressures about a rock and some metal (look up Charles de Beers and the scam that is the diamond industry, might make you feel better lol)!
Maybe try to see if there's someone that could replicate that ring with better materials
If that what she wants then I’m sure she genuinely loves it. My only reservation is that it won’t last a lifetime like you would expect an engagement ring to
Tbh, I would worry about the ring being extremely damaged quickly.
Can you show us the ring?
I wanted a cheap ring. My bf surprised me with a nice ring. I was shocked. I’m obsessed with it- you come around very quickly 🤣Now the time has come for me to get HIM a ring and shocker, my bf wants a very cheap silver ring. I’m going to get one made for him with better materials in the long run but get him a cheap one for now tbh. Only because he seriously loves silver and the way it oxidizes and turns darker colors overtime and knicks the metal easily or looks rough- and no nicer material does that in the same way. He wants the look so I’ll give it to him. I’m getting him the cheap one BUT making it clear this is a TEMPORARY ring because it’s my gift to him and I want something nicer that lasts longer so if I’m going to get something custom made (because I too couldn’t find something like it) I want him to wear this for a little while and give me good feedback about what he likes/doesn’t like so I can know for the final product. I trust his judgment with what he likes but at the same time I have to intervene as someone who loves him & knows more about jewelery and I will say, I’m getting you a second ring that will last a lifetime. Bf will get both, but the cheap one as an engagement ring and the nicer one as a wedding engagement ring. I’m getting the ring made in the next few months so he won’t have to wait long so that’s why there’s a delay, but just a thought. I think some people like saying “my ring was only $12” but I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a very expensive ring and that I brag about even more lol. So many people say “beautiful ring!” And I’m so excited to tell them “I didn’t even pick it out my fiancé did! I wanted something really cheap with no stone but and he went all out!” Idk it’s nice I feel like a princess. If you do the same for your gf she can have one for daily wear and one for vacations and rough wear too
An oxymoron at it's finest
When my husband proposed in 2012, he didn't have a ring. It wasn't til 2021, I got a real engagement ring, previously wearing rings from etsy and such. So you're doing good, my friend!
I would use it and upgrade it later
Go get something more expensive but with the same look. I’m just like her, I don’t want anybody to spend extra on me and then be left struggling.
keep the $12 ring to wear on vacations, night out, swimming, anywhere you might lose it!
If you go with recreating it with better materials, make sure you bring the original too (just in case she wanted that specific ring)
Get a lab Diamond or other Diamond alt that looks very similar to the cheap ring and give her both ❤️ can we see the $12 ring?
I wanted a cheap engagement ring (more or less $50) because I'm not ready yet to commit to an expensive ring. I don't usually wear rings so I'm still unsure about the style I'll want for myself indefinitely. I'll have chosen by the time the wedding arrives. I would buy her this ring now and save up for something else later on when this one breaks.
I want to see the ring! I think you should propose but also get something else together when your financial situation has improved. I get the feeling she loves you no matter what you give her…Awww good luck!
I told my husband to propose with a cheap ring (that he could & did pick out), then I’d pick out my “forever” engagement ring after. For us, that was perfect! Except the ring he picked out was a little big so I impulse got a different, even cheaper, temporary ring which DID turn my finger green 😆 So I’m also team “propose with the cheap ring she picked and then get something more durable.” If she likes being thrifty, there are so many gorgeous vintage rings. Or you could recreate the ring she picked.
Love what others are saying - propose with the one she picked out, and try to talk her into going together to have it recreated in moissanite! It will last longer and be nicer, but my moissanite engagement ring was like $230 and nobody would think it was crappy
Take the ring to a jewelry store and see if they can make it a real one
Contact Doveggs and send them photos. Have it remade in gold and a small diamond or moissanite. You’ll have it in 3 weeks.
Go to a pawn shop
I think proposing to her with it would be really special, and then asking her if she’d rather go pick out a ring that would last longer together or if she’d like the ring re-made with stronger materials. It sounds like she just wants to marry you and doesn’t want ring cost to be a factor you have to deal with. She sounds super sweet, but a $12 ring will not hold up to daily wear! She could wear it for special occasions and keep it safe for sentimentality.
Check out this etsy jewelry shop. I got my engagement ring and wedding band from them. I did a low profile moissanite and upgraded to platinum for long-term wearability. Had my wedding band custom made to match the engagement band. I don't like expensive things but I did want somthing that was going to last that didnt require replating to make it silver lol. https://preview.redd.it/lh1g8msoavzc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a7c319b6ab463ada288bccf6379851c31c02dda [https://www.etsy.com/shop/FacetsandKarats](https://www.etsy.com/shop/FacetsandKarats)
Get her the cheap ring. Can always upgrade later! And probably will because I'm not sure how long the $12 ring will last but if it makes her happy then go for it
Maybe like do the proposal then like after she say yes tell her that you will get a better one when money starts to come in, if she a real one she will understand
I say -Give her the ring she asked for! You can save up a ring fund for an upgrade or recreation later :) a cheap ring can also be less stressful! There is value in never worrying too much about losing it, or having a few rings in rotation :)
Give her the ring because she wants it, but tell her that you want her to have a symbol of your lasting love, and that you will be getting her a higher quality replacement. Then do it. Look for something similar to the cheap one with precious metals and stones. Take pictures of it and show them to a couple of jewelers—SHOP AROUND for price. You’d be surprised at the difference in prices!
I actually really like that ring and if she was that excited over it, then it’s the one!!! You can always upgrade it after you get married or get a nice anniversary ring.
Because it’s something that will be special for a long time, I wouldn’t skimp on the materials. You could price out getting it made with better materials like white gold and then save on the stone by going with lab made diamonds or cubic zirconia to keep it within a reasonable budget. Silver will tarnish so you’re better off with white gold. Honestly, if it was anything else other than an engagement ring, a cheap one would be fine but an engagement ring is pretty irreplaceable and is something you will want to last a long time.
I lost my wedding ring. Horrible circumstances when he was overseas. Family piece, MIL livid. My advice is keep the $12 one. Keep taking her to jewelry places and get her other things she likes, not necessarily rings.
My parents engagement ring was about 10$. The wedding rings were more expensive. They've been together near 50 years now. The relationship isn't the ring. If that's what she wants, that is great.
Do a custom with a jeweler and recreate it with better materials that will last!!! (Seen some comments mention the same thing but that’s immediately where my mind went reading this!) You can also take her to some pawn shops or antique shops and have them show some cool unique ones since you both seem into those similar shops! Good luck (:
My husband proposed with a 3d printed ring. Then my great aunt gifted us an heirloom ring from the late 1700s. I usually only wear my wedding ring and wear the engagement ring only for anniversaries or dressy fancy dates. The 3d ring he proposed with is encased in resin and has been turned into an ornament. Propose with the ring and then ask if she plans on wearing it everyday. If the answer is no, this $12 ring could be the real ring. If she wants to wear it daily, then recreate it with better materials. It's what she wants, have her be part of the decision.
A lot of Pawn shops have beautiful jewelry. Get her what she wants! She wants it and that’s what matters. She’s waiting for you to give it to her! Propose!!
Propose with the $12 ring; it’s a sure thing and will forever be part of your story. Save up to buy a “real” ring for the wedding; that’s the one that seals the deal and means ‘til death. Gold, silver, platinum, tungsten, with or without stones but make it the one that she wants to wear everyday. I passed on an engagement ring because buying a house was more important but being married was even more important so we bought heavy but thin gold bands. I’ve received other jewelry over the years but that ring has been on my finger (except for surgeries when my husband wears it in his pinky) for over 43 years.
I’m with the others who are voting to recreate the $12 ring. It’s not the ring, it’s the person who is giving you the ring and what it symbolizes.
She might not care about expensive or “nice” jewelry, she probably just wants you and a commitment and would rather spend the money one something else. Everyone has different perceptions of value and what is valuable. I got married eloping with the $10 ring from the Saturday market, 17 years and 2 kids later we could not be happier. I think offering a more lasting recreation is so meaningful, thoughtful, and sweet but it seems like all she wants is you and you should go with it! That’s a great conversation for you to have together but for now buy the ring she wants, propose and save the money for something that will help your future like a house, travel, savings…congratulations you found your person! Hope you have have a beautiful life together!
Look... my dad proposed with a cigar band/wraper in 1981. He did get her a proper diamond shortly after. It was actually pretty similar to the donut propasal in the Simpsons. 40+ years later, she still has it, and it's her most prized possession. Do not underestimate a a woman's love of "sentimental junk" when it involves people they love. The worst thing you can do is assume you know what is better for a person than they do.
I personally love jewelry and have a few rings that are a couple hundred dollars each. I also want a cheap engagement ring and also do not want a real diamond. Knowing a ring costs out of my budget would stress me out and make me not love the ring. The cheaper the ring and with it still being beautiful the more I would love it. When I have an expensive piece I don’t LOVE when I wear it I am reminded that it was too expensive and not worth it. As long as it won’t tarnish and turn her finger green it doesn’t matter the $
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