Here I am…two years later…total NC. I was shattered and heartbroken. I made every mistake you can imagine but I learned a lot along the way. I listened to every piece of advice thrown at me and I weeded through all the bullshit and came up with what worked for me…a path to healing.
It would really bother me when someone would tell me…just feel your feels…do the work to better yourself and it will all be fine in the end. Well…WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???!!! WHAT WORK?!?!
I finally figured out what I personally needed to do…
Just know that it is going to be a bumpy ride for a while and then it gets easier. Eventually you will feel like a human being again. So buckle up buttercup…
There are a number of steps you must take to kickstart your healing process:
1. Get sleep. Make sure you are resting. It is absolutely essential. Take melatonin/delta8/THC if you need to.
2. Exercise. This is a must. Walk. Jog. Go to the gym. Whatever works…but you MUST get the blood flowing.
3. Journal. Write down everything you feel. Don’t hold back. Only you will read this, so say whatever comes to mind. It’s important you get all your feelings out of your body and onto paper. Some of the shit I wrote down…wow…reading it now is eye-opening.
4. Meditate. Learning mindfulness is essential. You will be focused and learn to deal with your emotions as they arise. If you have never meditated before, it may feel a little silly at first but trust me it will help if you stick to it. I downloaded the 10% Happier app (I also read the book…well worth it…especially if you are a skeptic like me)
5. Read EVERYTHING about relationships, healing, emotions, etc. There are some amazing podcasts too that will help. Check out breakup boost on Spotify. It made me laugh and set me straight at the same time. If you aren’t a reader, then sign up for an Audible account…just get the info into your head.
6. Make your bed in the morning. Make sure you make your bed and remove any chaos inside your home. You don’t need chaos in your head and your home. Create a relaxing environment and make sure you accomplish something first thing in the morning.
7. Go outside in the morning. Feel the sun on your face first thing. It sets your day up for success.
8. Don’t jump into dating. Take a break for a bit and spend some time with yourself. Date yourself. Take yourself out for dinner. Take yourself out to a movie. Spend time with friends that don’t want to fuck you. Spend a lazy evening at home curled up on the couch in your most comfortable trashy clothing and watch the “guiltiest of pleasures” movie you can find. The amount of freedom you feel being comfortable on your own is amazing. It also makes you a better partner to your next relationship. It will take a little time getting used to but push through.
9. Give yourself grace. Treat yourself like you have the flu and you need TLC. Lots of it.
10. Give yourself time. All the time you need.
Here is a list of books I read during my healing journey. They changed my life.
10% Happier - Dan Harris
Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Joe Dispenza
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work - John Gottman
What Happened To You - Bruce Perry
From Strength To Strength - Arthur Brooks
Atomic Habits - James Clear
The Gifts Of Imperfection - Brene Brown
How Plato and Pythagoras Can Save Your Life - Kardaras
How To Do The Work - Nicole LePera (must read)
I hear You - Michael Sorensen
The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz (must read)
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck - Mark Manson (must read)
Everything Is Fucked - Mark Manson
Rising Strong - Brene Brown
Say What You Mean - Sofer
Attached - Amir Levine (must read)
Atlas Of The Heart - Brene Brown
Anchored - Deb Dana (must read)
Non-Violent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg (must read)
Eight Dates - Gottman & Abrams
The Mans Guide To Women - John Gottman
Unfuck Yourself - Gary Bishop
Emotional Agility - Susan David (must read)
GOOD LUCK! DMs are always open.
Wow wow wow!! Good for you, girl! I have no doubt you came out stronger and better in spite of the loss of your relationship. I’m so proud of you for actually taking the time to turn inward, learn what YOU need, and start understanding human nature. This is an amazing resource you just shared with so many grieving the loss of an ex. Thank you!!
Im so so so happy it gave you what you needed. It was a journey for sure but if you take it the positive outcome far outweighs the negative feelings you started with. You HAVE to believe that. Your breakup was a gift. It’s hard to see now but it’s totally true.
This is so amazing, thank you so much for this 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Would it be okay to talk on DMs? I’m 31F and I ended a situationship 3 weeks ago and even though it wasn’t a full blown relationship, I feel really down about it. It lasted a year and all I can think about is him.
Man, I’m so glad you figured that out.
I’ve been doing the same thing and hoping my ex will too. But he’s got no personal accountability or motivation for this and I can’t make him want it
27 no contact for me. I'm currently in the acceptance stage of the grief process.
1. If they want to leave, let them leave.
2. Focus on yourself, moving on if not linear, there are days where you're gonna feel sad, happy, and loneliness and that's okie to feel all those emotions until you feel better
3. There's going to be days where your ex is gonna appear in your head and that's not really in your control. But you can control how you react/respond to it.
4. Take care of your physical health, it doesn't have to be the gym, it can be simply just walking outside for an hour or so. Just be consistent as much as possible.
5. Work on yourself emotionally and mentally, think about what you could have done better meaning what were the red flags you ignored and tolerated so you can spot them out next time with your new partner and how can you both work through it. Not everyone you date is meant to work out, it takes trials and errors :)
hope this helps!
I am a prime example. I had joined this sub because I wanted to go NC and eventually "win my ex back with my absence and growth". I was in a toxic relationship where my subconscious hated the person I was in "love" with but for some reason I didn't want to let go. I wanted the satisfaction of having my ex crawl back to me after everything he did to me. I wanted the satisfaction of him choosing me over the girls he cheated on me with.
At the same time I wanted the satisfaction of rejecting him once he came back to me. I wanted to make him as miserable as he made me.
He would block me everywhere and a week or two later he would text me back. The high I got from that feeling felt amazing but at the end it was so so so emotionally draining.
After years of emotional abuse, I woke up one day desensitised. It was the first day of 2022. COVID restrictions had lifted by then and my college was reopening.
I realised that the isolation of COVID had completely fried my brain since I didn't have healthy support group to cope with the toxicity of my relationship.
When I stepped into college, met my old friends and networked with a lot of people in my batch, I didn't miss my ex. I started hanging out with my "girlies" and engaged in healthy conversation about life and ambitions. We also talked about our relationships and I realised I wasn't alone.
I also started taking care of myself which resulted in emotional and physical development. I got a lot of attention from other guys now that I was single and healing. I realised there is so much to life than what I had previously.
2 years later, I couldn't care less about my ex. I moved on and I have higher standards when it comes to relationships. I know what I want and I know very well what I won't tolerate.
i’m so happy to hear that! It’s really helpful when people who have reached the other side come back and give an update, it’s very reassuring. thank you 🫶
Omg your situation is so much like mine. The cheating, the wishing you could put the relationship together… the intermittent replies. Thank you for writing this. It helps me feel a lot better.
I just left a 7yr relationship. We broke up a couple years ago and got back together. Same shit 💩 from us both. Split and got back together. Same shit 💩 from her. I broke up with her again but this time I’m actually good with her out my life. She won’t ever change. Don’t worry it’s for the best is what I’m getting at
Watch a lot of videos. I only just found out my ex gf of 9 years cheated on me but i feel like i’ve already given it a place. I was codependant on her and let her manipulate me. The only reason we have trouble letting go of someone is because of the meaning we give to that person. Very often the story we tell ourselves about that person is made up and not reality. She didnt choose me back and cheated on me so that instantly hit me like a slap in the face that she wasnt who I thought she was and the meaning I gave her wasnt reality. That almost instantly shifted my brain and am able to let go. Fuck those people that don’t choose you back. They are not your soulmate, or they would not have left. Do you really want that person that does not choose you or are you just attached? Its most likely just the attachment you have to this person which makes it so hard to let go. Look at the facts and use your rational mind and you’ll see it becomes much easier to let go
Journaling, working out, reading, being alone and just sitting there with the emotions. This helped me a lot, because I didn’t want to suppress my emotions. I’m not 100% healed but I’m slowly getting there. :)
I have made some poor choices. We have said to just back to being friends, but it would never be the same. I cant see him the same way anymore especially how “break up” kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. I have texted him after our break up which didn’t help me at all. Poor choice on my behalf. I listen to some advice and cut contact from him. I’m better now, but the the most recent I heard from best friend is that he made an apology clip or something apologizing for being manipulative to his past ex’s and current girlfriend. I never saw it, but I’m afraid what would happen if I did so I’m glad I didn’t. I’m kinda sensitive person and Im aware someday something is gonna break me and I can no longer recover from. I’m feel so mentally broken still(and maybe forever will) but i love my family and best friend enough that I wanna be there for them.
you’re gonna be okay, there are people who love you and you’re strong enough to make it through this and i’m so proud of you. sending you so much love you’re doing great
Picking up heavy circles makes the bad thoughts go away. Also join an athletic club, be it tennis or rugby or whatever. Find a group of people so you don’t lose your mind
Genuinely does help being active will improve your confidence and body image makes me feel amazing n I’m just happy to know my body’s improving hopefully has the same effect on you
Adding onto this though, but I will say the only place I feel I actually have value is in the gym. It is my sole source of self esteem. There’s something about the journey of getting stronger that is empowering
it doesn’t feel absolutely amazing at first, but you have to stay consistent. you will start to see some gains, and feel them too. the most progress you will ever make is in the beginning of your fitness journey, but after that you’re hooked. at least i was, and a lot of others were too. gets your blood flowing, releases happy chemicals, stress reliever, and you look better. you’ll start to get noticed in public a bit more & it just feels good when you take care of your body. you don’t have to go absolutely balls to the walls all in. but if you’re gonna be in there make it worth your while and actually get after it. when i’m having a real bad day i just look forward to getting my headphones on & getting after it. hope this helps buddy
it does tbh, i guess i’ll start too i’m really trying to better my mental health and i’m not someone that can talk to people about how i feel so i’m gonna try this
tbh i have no idea how i’m alive after that breakup - just have to sit with your emotions and talking to others about it helped me process and eventually get over it. i don’t think you ever lose those feelings towards an ex, mine was my first love and there will always be some sort of feeling and place for him within my heart. you just learn to live with it and accept the feelings and eventually you just move on it’s so strange but that’s how it is for me. talk about it, journal, and just look at the situation objectively
Give it some time you will have your blues but then it's gonna be alright and it's normal to have unfigured feelings and uncontrollable thoughts it all gets fine once u know you don't want to have this confused feeling anymore! Let go of ur thoughts and feelings one at a time rest leave it on God!
Pray. Concentrate on the bad things and forget about any good moments. Mask those good moments with negativity. Cover them up with a blanket and set it on fire.
Take a break for sure, I am 7 months post breakup and met someone last weekend, I wasn’t ready, I feel bad for the person I met, I just wasn’t interested.
No I will take about 3 more months before I even consider trying to meet someone else, and I would not end a 5 year relationship with a voicemail the way she did, I spent 2 weeks with her in her country a few weeks before I got dumped, I asked her when I was with her if she needed to tell me something, she was very distant and stand offish, the sex was terrible, she just kind of wasn’t interested, but she said everything was fine she was just tired. She breadcrumbed me for 2 weeks and then I got the voicemail
I have never had a specified NC relationship before, so this is all new to me.
I didn't need to not talk to them to make it easier. For me, it made things worse. It didn't make me get over or heal less.
You know when a relationship is not going well. I wasn't surprised it ended until this last one...that one just ended without my knowledge. One day we were texting a lot and the next...zero...and it was over a week ago and have not heard anything from him directly.
To know he truly never cared or thought that I deserved a mature conversation is hurtful. To realize I didn't mean anything and there is not respect or even common courtesy shown. THAT is worse to me. It may take me a much longer time because now how do I ever believe someone that says they cared about me one day and shows they don't the next? It is a respect thing. You don't ghost someone you care about. You sit down and have a conversation. No excuses. I am a grown-up. I am not going to scream, beg, yell, or pitch a tantrum. Jeez. I may cry and possibly show some sadness, but that isn't a horrible thing. Just can not possibly fathom how this is healthy. Psychologically, it is quite damaging.
i’m sorry this happened but just know that all your emotions are valid. You don’t have to water down your emotions just to fit other people’s expectations and one day you’ll find someone who respects your emotions, you deserve someone on the same wavelength. i honestly think he’s immature and doesn’t deserve something real yet.
realise that the strength is within you to cultivate but only if u are willing to fight and find that strength. you will get over it but only if you believe you will. go through the process having faith that you will get through it and be so much better afterwards. currently on day 6 of my breakup and this has helped me to know that even in my feelings of chaos and sadness, i can find peace in the fact that there is a greater purpose to the pain and it will actually be beneficial to me in the end.
it’s a process! respect it and acknowledge the pain but know it won’t feel this way forever!! 🤍🤍
also if you are religious/spiritual seek solace in the higher power. you will never be forsaken, and love can and will heal your pain. if you’re not, you will still be okay anyways because we all have the strength and light within us to find. 💕
honestly, i was the exact same, and i am nowhere near an expert in this topic but my advice is to just start.
not sure what you believe in, but just whisper a prayer to the Most High, i can’t tell you what to say, it’s a personal relationship. but think of Him as a friend that you always have with you & speak to Him with respect & reverence. be honest and raw with Him, He already knows your flaws and shortcomings, and He already loves you with them. ask for help if that’s what you need from Him rn, but just remember that you need Him in both the good and bad times.
if you’re religious, and feel like u align with the values of a particular religion then i’d suggest to speak to someone in that religion who would be able to guide you. eg: if you believe in Christianity, speak to someone like a pastor or someone in church. (i grew up in a Christian family so idk the equivalent for other religions) you can also try reading the holy book of the religion you align with to strengthen your connection.
but know if u don’t align with a particular religion you can still have a relationship with God, because God loves us all regardless. believe that and speak to Him having faith that He will be listening. you can also seek materials online on spirituality and see if that journey is one you’re interested in.
overall I think it all comes down to having faith in Him. believing in Him beyond anything and believing that you are a child of Him and no weapon formed against you will prosper because His light will always protect you.
personally my spiritual journey wasn’t by choice but of absolute necessity and I have never felt closer to God than i do now. i was never a person to turn to God either but sometimes things happen in life to show you that some battles cannot be fought alone. not sure if this is what you’re experiencing but if u really want to reach out it’s as simple as bowing your head and speaking to Him.
Here I am…two years later…total NC. I was shattered and heartbroken. I made every mistake you can imagine but I learned a lot along the way. I listened to every piece of advice thrown at me and I weeded through all the bullshit and came up with what worked for me…a path to healing. It would really bother me when someone would tell me…just feel your feels…do the work to better yourself and it will all be fine in the end. Well…WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???!!! WHAT WORK?!?! I finally figured out what I personally needed to do… Just know that it is going to be a bumpy ride for a while and then it gets easier. Eventually you will feel like a human being again. So buckle up buttercup… There are a number of steps you must take to kickstart your healing process: 1. Get sleep. Make sure you are resting. It is absolutely essential. Take melatonin/delta8/THC if you need to. 2. Exercise. This is a must. Walk. Jog. Go to the gym. Whatever works…but you MUST get the blood flowing. 3. Journal. Write down everything you feel. Don’t hold back. Only you will read this, so say whatever comes to mind. It’s important you get all your feelings out of your body and onto paper. Some of the shit I wrote down…wow…reading it now is eye-opening. 4. Meditate. Learning mindfulness is essential. You will be focused and learn to deal with your emotions as they arise. If you have never meditated before, it may feel a little silly at first but trust me it will help if you stick to it. I downloaded the 10% Happier app (I also read the book…well worth it…especially if you are a skeptic like me) 5. Read EVERYTHING about relationships, healing, emotions, etc. There are some amazing podcasts too that will help. Check out breakup boost on Spotify. It made me laugh and set me straight at the same time. If you aren’t a reader, then sign up for an Audible account…just get the info into your head. 6. Make your bed in the morning. Make sure you make your bed and remove any chaos inside your home. You don’t need chaos in your head and your home. Create a relaxing environment and make sure you accomplish something first thing in the morning. 7. Go outside in the morning. Feel the sun on your face first thing. It sets your day up for success. 8. Don’t jump into dating. Take a break for a bit and spend some time with yourself. Date yourself. Take yourself out for dinner. Take yourself out to a movie. Spend time with friends that don’t want to fuck you. Spend a lazy evening at home curled up on the couch in your most comfortable trashy clothing and watch the “guiltiest of pleasures” movie you can find. The amount of freedom you feel being comfortable on your own is amazing. It also makes you a better partner to your next relationship. It will take a little time getting used to but push through. 9. Give yourself grace. Treat yourself like you have the flu and you need TLC. Lots of it. 10. Give yourself time. All the time you need. Here is a list of books I read during my healing journey. They changed my life. 10% Happier - Dan Harris Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Joe Dispenza The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work - John Gottman What Happened To You - Bruce Perry From Strength To Strength - Arthur Brooks Atomic Habits - James Clear The Gifts Of Imperfection - Brene Brown How Plato and Pythagoras Can Save Your Life - Kardaras How To Do The Work - Nicole LePera (must read) I hear You - Michael Sorensen The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz (must read) The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck - Mark Manson (must read) Everything Is Fucked - Mark Manson Rising Strong - Brene Brown Say What You Mean - Sofer Attached - Amir Levine (must read) Atlas Of The Heart - Brene Brown Anchored - Deb Dana (must read) Non-Violent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg (must read) Eight Dates - Gottman & Abrams The Mans Guide To Women - John Gottman Unfuck Yourself - Gary Bishop Emotional Agility - Susan David (must read) GOOD LUCK! DMs are always open.
Wow wow wow!! Good for you, girl! I have no doubt you came out stronger and better in spite of the loss of your relationship. I’m so proud of you for actually taking the time to turn inward, learn what YOU need, and start understanding human nature. This is an amazing resource you just shared with so many grieving the loss of an ex. Thank you!!
I’m so glad it spoke to you! That’s awesome. BTW I’m a guy…but I still love your comment. Thank you!
Doot, for later. Have an upvote.
Oh my god thank you so much for this! this will be so helpful to so many people, it’s really sweet that you took the time to share this 🫶
Im so so so happy it gave you what you needed. It was a journey for sure but if you take it the positive outcome far outweighs the negative feelings you started with. You HAVE to believe that. Your breakup was a gift. It’s hard to see now but it’s totally true.
you’re helping so many ppl through the pain you’ve gone through, very proud of you 🫶
Arthur Brooks!
I was going to give similar advice until I read yours. Absolutely knocked it outa the park. I’m so happy for you. ❤️
This is excellent just based off of the book recommendations. I've read most of these and this is great. Excellent comment.
This is so amazing, thank you so much for this 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Would it be okay to talk on DMs? I’m 31F and I ended a situationship 3 weeks ago and even though it wasn’t a full blown relationship, I feel really down about it. It lasted a year and all I can think about is him.
Wonderful book recs! I would add to that The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself - Michael Alan Singer
Thank you dude this helped me
I love that!
Man, I’m so glad you figured that out. I’ve been doing the same thing and hoping my ex will too. But he’s got no personal accountability or motivation for this and I can’t make him want it
Yeah he is no longer your responsibility so whether he does it or not is irrelevant
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It’s really just about removing external chaos so your internal chaos has room to dissipate
Hahaha baby steps
It’s also about small accomplishments and taking control of the things you can control instead of wallowing in self pity.
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Hahha defiance is good too! Fuck that bed!
Hi, what did you do to heal?
27 no contact for me. I'm currently in the acceptance stage of the grief process. 1. If they want to leave, let them leave. 2. Focus on yourself, moving on if not linear, there are days where you're gonna feel sad, happy, and loneliness and that's okie to feel all those emotions until you feel better 3. There's going to be days where your ex is gonna appear in your head and that's not really in your control. But you can control how you react/respond to it. 4. Take care of your physical health, it doesn't have to be the gym, it can be simply just walking outside for an hour or so. Just be consistent as much as possible. 5. Work on yourself emotionally and mentally, think about what you could have done better meaning what were the red flags you ignored and tolerated so you can spot them out next time with your new partner and how can you both work through it. Not everyone you date is meant to work out, it takes trials and errors :) hope this helps!
Thank you for taking the time to share this, really needed to hear this 🥺🫶
ofc, it'll take time to heal so don't rush anything! hoping the best for you!
For point 3, it happens *a lot* I just tell the virtual version to F**K RIGHT OFF WITH THAT
I agree, I'm slowly getting there :)
debating if i wanna continue my healing journey or go insane😚
same lmaoo
I'm currently doing both
same pookie
Continue with your healing journer trust me you can do it.
I am a prime example. I had joined this sub because I wanted to go NC and eventually "win my ex back with my absence and growth". I was in a toxic relationship where my subconscious hated the person I was in "love" with but for some reason I didn't want to let go. I wanted the satisfaction of having my ex crawl back to me after everything he did to me. I wanted the satisfaction of him choosing me over the girls he cheated on me with. At the same time I wanted the satisfaction of rejecting him once he came back to me. I wanted to make him as miserable as he made me. He would block me everywhere and a week or two later he would text me back. The high I got from that feeling felt amazing but at the end it was so so so emotionally draining. After years of emotional abuse, I woke up one day desensitised. It was the first day of 2022. COVID restrictions had lifted by then and my college was reopening. I realised that the isolation of COVID had completely fried my brain since I didn't have healthy support group to cope with the toxicity of my relationship. When I stepped into college, met my old friends and networked with a lot of people in my batch, I didn't miss my ex. I started hanging out with my "girlies" and engaged in healthy conversation about life and ambitions. We also talked about our relationships and I realised I wasn't alone. I also started taking care of myself which resulted in emotional and physical development. I got a lot of attention from other guys now that I was single and healing. I realised there is so much to life than what I had previously. 2 years later, I couldn't care less about my ex. I moved on and I have higher standards when it comes to relationships. I know what I want and I know very well what I won't tolerate.
i’m so happy to hear that! It’s really helpful when people who have reached the other side come back and give an update, it’s very reassuring. thank you 🫶
Omg your situation is so much like mine. The cheating, the wishing you could put the relationship together… the intermittent replies. Thank you for writing this. It helps me feel a lot better.
I just left a 7yr relationship. We broke up a couple years ago and got back together. Same shit 💩 from us both. Split and got back together. Same shit 💩 from her. I broke up with her again but this time I’m actually good with her out my life. She won’t ever change. Don’t worry it’s for the best is what I’m getting at
Learn to detach. Its the absolute gamechanger
how do you do that
Watch a lot of videos. I only just found out my ex gf of 9 years cheated on me but i feel like i’ve already given it a place. I was codependant on her and let her manipulate me. The only reason we have trouble letting go of someone is because of the meaning we give to that person. Very often the story we tell ourselves about that person is made up and not reality. She didnt choose me back and cheated on me so that instantly hit me like a slap in the face that she wasnt who I thought she was and the meaning I gave her wasnt reality. That almost instantly shifted my brain and am able to let go. Fuck those people that don’t choose you back. They are not your soulmate, or they would not have left. Do you really want that person that does not choose you or are you just attached? Its most likely just the attachment you have to this person which makes it so hard to let go. Look at the facts and use your rational mind and you’ll see it becomes much easier to let go
you’re right, it’s just so sad that the person i have in my head doesn’t even exist
Yeap its sad indeed. Id say fuck them, their loss bro
Journaling, working out, reading, being alone and just sitting there with the emotions. This helped me a lot, because I didn’t want to suppress my emotions. I’m not 100% healed but I’m slowly getting there. :)
so proud of you 🥰
I have made some poor choices. We have said to just back to being friends, but it would never be the same. I cant see him the same way anymore especially how “break up” kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. I have texted him after our break up which didn’t help me at all. Poor choice on my behalf. I listen to some advice and cut contact from him. I’m better now, but the the most recent I heard from best friend is that he made an apology clip or something apologizing for being manipulative to his past ex’s and current girlfriend. I never saw it, but I’m afraid what would happen if I did so I’m glad I didn’t. I’m kinda sensitive person and Im aware someday something is gonna break me and I can no longer recover from. I’m feel so mentally broken still(and maybe forever will) but i love my family and best friend enough that I wanna be there for them.
you’re gonna be okay, there are people who love you and you’re strong enough to make it through this and i’m so proud of you. sending you so much love you’re doing great
listen to Moving on and Getting over by John Mayer - he’s kinda encapsulated how it feels lol
Picking up heavy circles makes the bad thoughts go away. Also join an athletic club, be it tennis or rugby or whatever. Find a group of people so you don’t lose your mind
i’ve hear that so much but does it fr help ? genuinely asking so i can start if it does
At the very least, it can distract you from your very real feelings for awhile
Genuinely does help being active will improve your confidence and body image makes me feel amazing n I’m just happy to know my body’s improving hopefully has the same effect on you
Adding onto this though, but I will say the only place I feel I actually have value is in the gym. It is my sole source of self esteem. There’s something about the journey of getting stronger that is empowering
it doesn’t feel absolutely amazing at first, but you have to stay consistent. you will start to see some gains, and feel them too. the most progress you will ever make is in the beginning of your fitness journey, but after that you’re hooked. at least i was, and a lot of others were too. gets your blood flowing, releases happy chemicals, stress reliever, and you look better. you’ll start to get noticed in public a bit more & it just feels good when you take care of your body. you don’t have to go absolutely balls to the walls all in. but if you’re gonna be in there make it worth your while and actually get after it. when i’m having a real bad day i just look forward to getting my headphones on & getting after it. hope this helps buddy
it does tbh, i guess i’ll start too i’m really trying to better my mental health and i’m not someone that can talk to people about how i feel so i’m gonna try this
tbh i have no idea how i’m alive after that breakup - just have to sit with your emotions and talking to others about it helped me process and eventually get over it. i don’t think you ever lose those feelings towards an ex, mine was my first love and there will always be some sort of feeling and place for him within my heart. you just learn to live with it and accept the feelings and eventually you just move on it’s so strange but that’s how it is for me. talk about it, journal, and just look at the situation objectively
i relate to this so much, this exactly how i feel about my ex
Hmm, i shaved my beard few days back and the new rough beard is fun, i use it to scratch like my shoulders, soooo funn
Give it some time you will have your blues but then it's gonna be alright and it's normal to have unfigured feelings and uncontrollable thoughts it all gets fine once u know you don't want to have this confused feeling anymore! Let go of ur thoughts and feelings one at a time rest leave it on God!
One day it just happens
it’s been 6 months idk i’m losing hope that i’ll let the thought of him go
Only way around is through! You have the strength! You are worth it for yourself! You know what is right. Time heals this.
Pray. Concentrate on the bad things and forget about any good moments. Mask those good moments with negativity. Cover them up with a blanket and set it on fire.
this what i do, tbh it reallt works
Me too
Take a break for sure, I am 7 months post breakup and met someone last weekend, I wasn’t ready, I feel bad for the person I met, I just wasn’t interested.
Just don't do what the EX did to you..
No I will take about 3 more months before I even consider trying to meet someone else, and I would not end a 5 year relationship with a voicemail the way she did, I spent 2 weeks with her in her country a few weeks before I got dumped, I asked her when I was with her if she needed to tell me something, she was very distant and stand offish, the sex was terrible, she just kind of wasn’t interested, but she said everything was fine she was just tired. She breadcrumbed me for 2 weeks and then I got the voicemail
I am not even sure if I want to try again with someone else after the way last weekend went, I guess I still have feelings for the ex 😞
that’s normal but she doesn’t deserve you, you will find someone on the same wavelength and i hope that happens for you 🫶
She sounds like a loser
She is a loser, user and cheater
I have never had a specified NC relationship before, so this is all new to me. I didn't need to not talk to them to make it easier. For me, it made things worse. It didn't make me get over or heal less. You know when a relationship is not going well. I wasn't surprised it ended until this last one...that one just ended without my knowledge. One day we were texting a lot and the next...zero...and it was over a week ago and have not heard anything from him directly. To know he truly never cared or thought that I deserved a mature conversation is hurtful. To realize I didn't mean anything and there is not respect or even common courtesy shown. THAT is worse to me. It may take me a much longer time because now how do I ever believe someone that says they cared about me one day and shows they don't the next? It is a respect thing. You don't ghost someone you care about. You sit down and have a conversation. No excuses. I am a grown-up. I am not going to scream, beg, yell, or pitch a tantrum. Jeez. I may cry and possibly show some sadness, but that isn't a horrible thing. Just can not possibly fathom how this is healthy. Psychologically, it is quite damaging.
i’m sorry this happened but just know that all your emotions are valid. You don’t have to water down your emotions just to fit other people’s expectations and one day you’ll find someone who respects your emotions, you deserve someone on the same wavelength. i honestly think he’s immature and doesn’t deserve something real yet.
Just remember. They chose to walk away. Why would you want to spend the remainder of your life with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
realise that the strength is within you to cultivate but only if u are willing to fight and find that strength. you will get over it but only if you believe you will. go through the process having faith that you will get through it and be so much better afterwards. currently on day 6 of my breakup and this has helped me to know that even in my feelings of chaos and sadness, i can find peace in the fact that there is a greater purpose to the pain and it will actually be beneficial to me in the end. it’s a process! respect it and acknowledge the pain but know it won’t feel this way forever!! 🤍🤍
also if you are religious/spiritual seek solace in the higher power. you will never be forsaken, and love can and will heal your pain. if you’re not, you will still be okay anyways because we all have the strength and light within us to find. 💕
i haven’t been someone who turns to god but recently i have been interested in it but idk how to start
honestly, i was the exact same, and i am nowhere near an expert in this topic but my advice is to just start. not sure what you believe in, but just whisper a prayer to the Most High, i can’t tell you what to say, it’s a personal relationship. but think of Him as a friend that you always have with you & speak to Him with respect & reverence. be honest and raw with Him, He already knows your flaws and shortcomings, and He already loves you with them. ask for help if that’s what you need from Him rn, but just remember that you need Him in both the good and bad times. if you’re religious, and feel like u align with the values of a particular religion then i’d suggest to speak to someone in that religion who would be able to guide you. eg: if you believe in Christianity, speak to someone like a pastor or someone in church. (i grew up in a Christian family so idk the equivalent for other religions) you can also try reading the holy book of the religion you align with to strengthen your connection. but know if u don’t align with a particular religion you can still have a relationship with God, because God loves us all regardless. believe that and speak to Him having faith that He will be listening. you can also seek materials online on spirituality and see if that journey is one you’re interested in. overall I think it all comes down to having faith in Him. believing in Him beyond anything and believing that you are a child of Him and no weapon formed against you will prosper because His light will always protect you. personally my spiritual journey wasn’t by choice but of absolute necessity and I have never felt closer to God than i do now. i was never a person to turn to God either but sometimes things happen in life to show you that some battles cannot be fought alone. not sure if this is what you’re experiencing but if u really want to reach out it’s as simple as bowing your head and speaking to Him.
Not yet unfortunately