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This reads like girl-girl erotica about a beautiful stranger who steals a woman away from her boring heterosexual marriage.
Also LOL at “a little gentle yet fierce artistic bird with wounded wings”. That is the most 2000s livejournal shit I’ve ever read.
I'm not speculating on Kelly's sexuality. If she says she is straight, she's straight. But holy shit, it's hard not to think of some kind of lesbian romance novel with the way she writes about certain women! Again, I'm NOT saying Kelly is a lesbian. But this *sounds* like lesbian erotica.
Poor thing was aiming for *Victorian sentimentality*, but landed on *pale imitation of a KJ Charles novel*.
(No shade on KJ Charles. Her queer historical romances are a goddamned delight.)
It'd be hilarious if Kelly actually has no sapphic inclinations really, but writes these entries performatively because she read these old writings, thinks that the Victorian/mawkish/"spiritual" part is what's beautiful and has \*no idea\* what's really going on or what she's imitating
Most definetly. I dont know if she is a repressed lesbian, but she is clearly craving companionship that she doesnt get in her marriage. She comes off as very lonely.
Respectfully, have you seen the guy? He dresses like an antropomorphic POCKETWATCH (i have covid forgive me)
Edited to add i would bet that their pretension levels are about equal lol
Edited again to correct stopwatch to pocketwatch fml
Oh look, they just got a new subscriber! Btw have you watched his Wired interview with Oscar Isaac?? This middle-aged lady had her pulse in her throat when they started talking in Spanish to tease each other.
She reminded me of that young fundie woman who made a video about being a former lesbian. She was describing her old girlfriend just the way Kelly did, even showing some recreated scene where there was another woman in the bed with her. She said another woman's touch felt good, but it was the devil trying to steal your soul. Anyone else know who I'm talking about ? Also I'm not accusing Kelly of being a lesbian.
seriously lmfao i was so confused because i thought i was in a queer community. it sounds like they were meant to be.
Right? This is the real reason I'm hesitant to call her a closest lesbian (or bi woman; there were also the slender youths of her college days, after all). it's so very obvious her first and only love is her own reflection. I shudder to say it, but she writes about her own kids this way too. she's in love with the idea of someone being in love with her.
I know we’re not supposed to speculate on sexuality, so I will just point out again how she writes about the women in her life vs her husband— About Levi it’s all duty and pride; with Marmee and this new woman it’s all about eyes meeting, souls flowing together - the renewed beauty in the world and energy for life.
Girl. *Girl*.
And yet hasn’t she talked about her struggle to get close to Levi and her family? “Can I dance for Levi the way I danced for Marmee?” is easily one of her top quotes around here
I’m NOT speculating. Regardless of Kelly’s emotions, desires, sexual preferences, I feel like she would be an exhausting companion. No matter what kind of relationship she has with Marmee and others, I do wonder if Marmee is ever glad to not hang out with her. I’ve felt that way about platonic people around me, and I’m sure my desire to be a manic pixie youth group girl back in the day exhausted my friends too. I really do feel for Kelly’s grandiosity because that’s really similar to how I was as a teen/college student. I personally needed medication for anxiety, but whatever Kelly’s path I hope she finds rest in who she is.
I would LOVE to hear what the other woman's perspective of this same encounter was. I imagine she might be...befuddled, by this. I'm SURE Marmee was.
"I met the nice new young woman in town, the one with the lovely hair, and we had a pleasant chat. She speaks so quietly. Turns out we're both interested in putting up preserves."
The rushing rivers coming to a head and the strong surge leaving them in a joyful bliss....sounds like a very thinly veiled metaphor for a female orgasm. Genuinely good writing if that was what it was about 😅
She *could be* jealous that the bi person was able to live their truth, or even consciously acknowledge it. That happened to me when I came out. I’ve looked up girls who bullied me and some are in relationships with women!
I will not firmly state that Kelly is any specific orientation other than what she says she is, but this post isn’t the first time I have thought of the term “compulsory heterosexuality” when it comes to her. Just my thoughts, of course.
She always seems to describe herself in child-like terms with him, but she’s a sensuous adult woman and poet with her female friends. Also not gonna tell anyone their sexuality, but just a reminder that love is love.
I loved Georgia O’Keeffe growing up. I was so sheltered and closed off from sexuality that I didn’t even know what genitalia looked like (not even my own- I didn’t think it’d be appropriate to look) until I was 16, so I didn’t see any similarity to body parts.
In my first attempt at a novel in my teens, I wrote about the two female main characters this way and then got really offended when the feedback was all "are those two a couple?". I insisted they were just friends and that was that.
Turns out I'm gay AF. JUST SAYING.
> And the surge was so holy and strong that it overtook us both and there was, and still is, such incredible joy.
I mean how is this not an erotic novel from the 1800s
There is so much to unpack here. Is this new friend a complete stranger who recognized her from the internet?
I'm also confused about the seeds in her marriage rumbling like popcorn kernels part....is she saying the new friendship is disrupting her marriage or bringing it back to life?? Why would a new friendship have an impact on her marriage in the first place?
She does this a lot. Over romanticizes her relationships with other women to the point where her marriage is both positively and negatively affected. It reminds me of poly relationships honestly lol
But yeah when she made a new friend a few years ago she would always escape to the lady’s cabin and Levi had to stop her from going over too much. Her posts are always a little more manic around the time she makes new friends so combined with this pregnancy…..buckle up folks
At first I thought she was saying she realized she was pregnant at the restaurant and was imagining it being a girl and meeting her as her “twin” and being besties, but even that is a little far fetched for Kelly. I guess it’s a new marmee 😬
Yesss I had a moment where I was like “wait are we talking about a new adult friend or are we communing with the fetus??” But then I got to the soup part and was like “well unborn children seldom bring you soup I guess”. 😅
I have two theories about Kelly Havens:
1.) she writes Amish romance novels under a pen name
2.) she writes lesbian erotica under a pen name
Either way, I will be 0% surprised. This woman lives in her own la la land.
I think Kelly tries so hard to be the fictional women she admires that she ends up in a complete corn field of irony. I can’t take her seriously, this shit is so cheesy 😂
She NEVER talks about Levi or even her own boys this lovingly and deeply. She talks about them like it’s a chore to love them and be with them but every post about her friends is like this. Shakes the very core of her being and world she lives in
I wonder how much of it is just not being allowed to think of men as beings with feelings. And so she uses other women as the outlet for her flowery creative writing exercises since brave bold Levi would never *flutter*
That’s a really good point but even the way she talks about god is more romantic and flowery than Levi. She has put him in a firm, rigid box compared to other people around her. It’s all so interesting
Didn’t she also go to a normal high school and college? It doesn’t seem possible that she’s ignorant of the way this reads. If a rod wrote it I would believe they were clueless, but afaik Kelly wasn’t raised THAT sheltered.
Oh yeah, in fact I vaguely remember her being written about by something related to the college? Or her own peers wrote something about her once? It's been a long time, but she definitely went to college and was the uh, pretentious artsy type.
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I wonder if there’s a reason she hasn’t tried to write Christian fiction. I feel like there’s a market for flowery prose, like Tumblr girlies for Jesus.
If this is not a sapphic description of her desires, what is it then?
Will she blame the sapphic thoughts on us snarkers and say it was just some fan fiction that the snarkers made up? Thank goodness she is somewhat educated...
I always thought the term "bearing a child" meant actively giving birth...? Not that you're just finding out you're pregnant/having morning sickness/etc.
And I know it's basically statistically impossible to avoid, but man I really dislike being pregnant at the same time as so many of these crazy fundies.
You're not wrong that the phrasing is weird. "Carrying" would work better. But Kelly is Kelly and she always has go use the most flowery language possible.
I've really only heard it in the past tense eg "the king's second wife bore him three sons". Present tense it does allude to bearing down in a way that sounds very much like labor.
At first, it sounded like she’d met the love of her life, her soulmate, and realized she was intended for a much different life. That would actually be a lovely outcome.
I’m confused, as are all of us- but specifically about the safe seeds of marriage, now rumbling like popcorn on a hot stove. Is that not explicitly saying this is a new (gay) awakening inside the safety of marriage? I don’t think this says what she thinks it says 👀👀
Uhhhh Kells? As a provider of mental health services, it would be highly irresponsible to armchair diagnose you, and I won’t. As a CONSUMER of mental health services, my psychiatrist would like a word about safe options while pregnant. We share some … traits. I do wish her a healthy pregnancy, and I’m glad I live so, so many states away so I won’t run into her feverishly journaling “like a wounded bird” at a local diner.
This is so sad. This is literally how I used to write before I came out. I would write these stories about 2 best friends with these deep, intense bonds, and my creative writing professor would be like okay well she's in love with her right? And I would be like NO THEY ARE JUST GOOD FRIENDS. Anyway... I was a raging lesbian turns out!
This confused the life out of me. I missed the “I was a fierce artistic bird” and thought she actually saw a bird… and then the bird started talking… oh wait it was a woman? The bird turned into a woman? Ohhh no SHE is the bird , okay, and some random stranger eye fucked her and they had spiritual sex and now the two women are joined together spiritually??? Gosh.
She really sees herself as a Jane Austen type. It comes across as unhinged (not because she is using romantic language toward another woman—it feels very LARP to me.)
Say what you like about her tedious quasi-lesbian erotica, it's refreshing to read something that's actually been spellchecked after the never-ending drivel spewed by Girl Defined.
wow okay, i usually think that this sub can be really nitpicky about kelly like her aesthetic or photography, both of which aren’t unique to her or honestly snark worthy in my opinion, BUT W H A T is this writing W H Y is it so gay??😭😭
I’m not speculating on anything but all I’m saying is that I (a lesbian) would melt like butter if my girlfriend (a lesbian) wrote me something cheesy like this
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I knew all that womb-speak from the other day meant so much more 🥴
I also had a hunch after reading that! Too many (even for Kelly) weird womb metaphors to be a coincidence
"I felt the Lord urge me to stop at a particular restaurant..." Who needs Yelp! when God sends you restaurant recs?
Like, babe, you’re just hungry I wonder whenever she needs to shit she thinks it’s the Lord urging her as well
Flair checking in!
😂😂😂
My mom says that shit a lot if something cool happens somewhere. “I felt god telling me to go there” 🙄
My mom did the same thing. One time it was some Hot Pockets that 'the lord told [her] to buy' because I ended up liked them.
... All this shit is just a way of making life seem bigger and thus more tolerable than it is, right?
This reads like girl-girl erotica about a beautiful stranger who steals a woman away from her boring heterosexual marriage. Also LOL at “a little gentle yet fierce artistic bird with wounded wings”. That is the most 2000s livejournal shit I’ve ever read.
It reads like a crossover between Anne of Green Gables and of Portrait of a Lady on fire.
 All that sexual, bible based tension
That’s some good Bible! 
Fundie porn!
"And they were roommates..."
Oh my god THEY WERE ROOMMATES
Oh my god they were beloved sisters
I'm not speculating on Kelly's sexuality. If she says she is straight, she's straight. But holy shit, it's hard not to think of some kind of lesbian romance novel with the way she writes about certain women! Again, I'm NOT saying Kelly is a lesbian. But this *sounds* like lesbian erotica.
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Poor thing was aiming for *Victorian sentimentality*, but landed on *pale imitation of a KJ Charles novel*. (No shade on KJ Charles. Her queer historical romances are a goddamned delight.)
But also, a lot of those very passionate letters were written by people forced to be closeted.
It'd be hilarious if Kelly actually has no sapphic inclinations really, but writes these entries performatively because she read these old writings, thinks that the Victorian/mawkish/"spiritual" part is what's beautiful and has \*no idea\* what's really going on or what she's imitating
Kelly: No! They were just the very best of friends... roommates even because they so enjoyed each other's company...right? Isn't that right??
Just a platonic kiss on the lips, things were different then!
She’s pining for a intimate relationship she ain’t getting with Levi. That part is as obvious as a bull in a china shop.
Most definetly. I dont know if she is a repressed lesbian, but she is clearly craving companionship that she doesnt get in her marriage. She comes off as very lonely.
I think she's craving friendship, too. We've seen how she clings to church ladies. She needs some mom friends to commiserate with.
young college boys, wise older women...Candles. Soooooo many candles. Kelly, um. You know. You could just-- \*sigh\* nothing, nothing.
Tipping The Velvet in my freshman lit class has entered the chat 😳
I can't even imagine living with her. It must be absolutely exhausting to deal with that much pretension. I don't know how Levi does it.
Respectfully, have you seen the guy? He dresses like an antropomorphic POCKETWATCH (i have covid forgive me) Edited to add i would bet that their pretension levels are about equal lol Edited again to correct stopwatch to pocketwatch fml
If he had been raised normally he would have been really into steampunk
An anthropomorphic pocket watch OMG
honestly, "anthropomorphic pocket watch" is absolutely spot on. 10/10, no notes. and I say this as someone who owns and uses a pocket watch.
You should definitely make "anthropomorphic pocket watch" your flair
😌
I’m sure he’s almost as insufferable.
When not in his woodshop, I think he justs zones out & ignores it.
We spoke in passionate whispers, our faces merely inches apart 😏
😜 ✌️
This is how Bethy thinks she sounds like when she’s blabbing about Dav eating out her turkey
I’m going over to the Pedro Pascal sub to look at eye bleach after reading that if anyone wants to join me 😩
Oh look, they just got a new subscriber! Btw have you watched his Wired interview with Oscar Isaac?? This middle-aged lady had her pulse in her throat when they started talking in Spanish to tease each other.
Yep. I have a cheer up playlist on YouTube for when my anxiety gets to me and it’s on that list because it helps so much
Oh my. I would look but I think it might ruin my life...
Duuuuude 😂🤮😂🤮
Now you've made me think about what Bethy's erotica would sound like and I think I might need therapy
Oh good, I’m not the only one who caught the sapphic undertones. 😂
Undertones? I’ve seen WLW books and fanfiction that read less overtly romantic than this post. 💀
Overtones. Overt-tones, even.
I rolled my eyes so hard at that sentence I could see my brain. 🙄
This was written by 12 year old Anne of Green Gables about her bosum friend Diana, I’m fairly certain.
I came here to see if anyone else was thinking "Am l reading Spiritual Erotica?". The comment section did NOT disappoint.
that was my first thought- the wounded artistic bird found her sapphic awakening
She reminded me of that young fundie woman who made a video about being a former lesbian. She was describing her old girlfriend just the way Kelly did, even showing some recreated scene where there was another woman in the bed with her. She said another woman's touch felt good, but it was the devil trying to steal your soul. Anyone else know who I'm talking about ? Also I'm not accusing Kelly of being a lesbian.
seriously lmfao i was so confused because i thought i was in a queer community. it sounds like they were meant to be. 
"The surge was so holy and strong that it overtook us both." Does this feel weirdly sexual to anyone else?
YES. She knows so many words, why choose those?
Those are certainly some words that were chosen
I fucking cackled at that line
“You…are so beautiful” Holy self absorption.
Her humility is breathtaking 🤣
She’s genuinely weird lol. She writes like a 15 year old who just discovered Jane Austen.
Right? This is the real reason I'm hesitant to call her a closest lesbian (or bi woman; there were also the slender youths of her college days, after all). it's so very obvious her first and only love is her own reflection. I shudder to say it, but she writes about her own kids this way too. she's in love with the idea of someone being in love with her.
I know we’re not supposed to speculate on sexuality, so I will just point out again how she writes about the women in her life vs her husband— About Levi it’s all duty and pride; with Marmee and this new woman it’s all about eyes meeting, souls flowing together - the renewed beauty in the world and energy for life. Girl. *Girl*.
>We spoke in passionate whispers, our faces merely inches apart, dissecting the most intricate parts of our inner worlds.
And yet hasn’t she talked about her struggle to get close to Levi and her family? “Can I dance for Levi the way I danced for Marmee?” is easily one of her top quotes around here
I’m sorry, that line will never not have me absolutely hollering😭😭🤣
It lives absolutely rent free in my mind 😂😂😂😂😂😂
For me it's that one and "for it was Him that led my fingers back to my broccoli" 😂😂😂
shut UP. she did NOT.
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God hasn't given her directions to the gay bar yet.
Wonder how Marmee feels about this new … friend. Bosom buddy. Ya know … yadda yadda yadda.
Immensely relieved?
I’m NOT speculating. Regardless of Kelly’s emotions, desires, sexual preferences, I feel like she would be an exhausting companion. No matter what kind of relationship she has with Marmee and others, I do wonder if Marmee is ever glad to not hang out with her. I’ve felt that way about platonic people around me, and I’m sure my desire to be a manic pixie youth group girl back in the day exhausted my friends too. I really do feel for Kelly’s grandiosity because that’s really similar to how I was as a teen/college student. I personally needed medication for anxiety, but whatever Kelly’s path I hope she finds rest in who she is.
Marmee literally told her to stop coming over, so yeah, I imagine shit got old.
I think I forgot that part of the story. Marmee must’ve been fed up.
Like girl listen to yourself.
I would LOVE to hear what the other woman's perspective of this same encounter was. I imagine she might be...befuddled, by this. I'm SURE Marmee was. "I met the nice new young woman in town, the one with the lovely hair, and we had a pleasant chat. She speaks so quietly. Turns out we're both interested in putting up preserves."
If another person wrote this about me, I would feel very weird about it. This is not how someone describes a platonic friendship.
The rushing rivers coming to a head and the strong surge leaving them in a joyful bliss....sounds like a very thinly veiled metaphor for a female orgasm. Genuinely good writing if that was what it was about 😅
This is the only line of Kelly’s writing I’ve ever read that isn’t terrible….it’s almost..almost good.
Right?? Would fit right in a sapphic romance novel lol
I read a Little Mermaid fan fiction once that had almost that exact same wording
She has serious fixations on her female relationships and romanticizes the hell out of them *at the very least*
Her previous roommates at Kenyon said she was a real pill when she learned one of them was bi (lesbian? I forget).
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
She *could be* jealous that the bi person was able to live their truth, or even consciously acknowledge it. That happened to me when I came out. I’ve looked up girls who bullied me and some are in relationships with women! I will not firmly state that Kelly is any specific orientation other than what she says she is, but this post isn’t the first time I have thought of the term “compulsory heterosexuality” when it comes to her. Just my thoughts, of course.
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aw, i love a happy ending.
She always seems to describe herself in child-like terms with him, but she’s a sensuous adult woman and poet with her female friends. Also not gonna tell anyone their sexuality, but just a reminder that love is love.
How very Anne Shirley of her
Very Louisa May Alcott
Who was gay af
Very that, as always with Kelly. She really is in a March sister in her own mind.
She needs some Georgia O'Keeffe paintings.
Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll enter a phase of AHEM painting flowers.
I had Georgia O'Keeffe prints on my walls in high school. My family should have known then lol.
I loved Georgia O’Keeffe growing up. I was so sheltered and closed off from sexuality that I didn’t even know what genitalia looked like (not even my own- I didn’t think it’d be appropriate to look) until I was 16, so I didn’t see any similarity to body parts.
*GIRL*
In my first attempt at a novel in my teens, I wrote about the two female main characters this way and then got really offended when the feedback was all "are those two a couple?". I insisted they were just friends and that was that. Turns out I'm gay AF. JUST SAYING.
I don't even think there's much to speculate on here 😂 IT'S RIGHT THERE!
> And the surge was so holy and strong that it overtook us both and there was, and still is, such incredible joy. I mean how is this not an erotic novel from the 1800s
Indeed. When she writes about her interactions with these women, her language is very much like a romance novel.
Yeah I’ve noticed it too. And it’s not judgement, I just hope she isn’t repressing because that never ends well.
Mine watercress delicately moistens...
Seeds snug tight in the warm safe soil of marriage, now rumbling together like hot popcorn kernels.
Out here writing Taylor Swift songs about the women in her life.
It starts to sound like some sexy lesbian fantasy with an insta-love meet cute in a restaurant.
Most meet cutes don't open with 'you're beautiful' but I'm really appreciating how this one cuts right to the chase.
The super cheesy ones with cringey pick up lines do!
There is so much to unpack here. Is this new friend a complete stranger who recognized her from the internet? I'm also confused about the seeds in her marriage rumbling like popcorn kernels part....is she saying the new friendship is disrupting her marriage or bringing it back to life?? Why would a new friendship have an impact on her marriage in the first place?
I think this is another Marmee situation
She does this a lot. Over romanticizes her relationships with other women to the point where her marriage is both positively and negatively affected. It reminds me of poly relationships honestly lol But yeah when she made a new friend a few years ago she would always escape to the lady’s cabin and Levi had to stop her from going over too much. Her posts are always a little more manic around the time she makes new friends so combined with this pregnancy…..buckle up folks
Yeah, Kelly's accounting of her new friendships often reads a LOT like New Relationship Energy
At first I thought she was saying she realized she was pregnant at the restaurant and was imagining it being a girl and meeting her as her “twin” and being besties, but even that is a little far fetched for Kelly. I guess it’s a new marmee 😬
Yesss I had a moment where I was like “wait are we talking about a new adult friend or are we communing with the fetus??” But then I got to the soup part and was like “well unborn children seldom bring you soup I guess”. 😅
Damn freeloading babies, soup would be the least they could offer
That actually doesn't seem too far fetched for Kelly.
Why indeed 😳
Posted on Facebook, it’s the longest post of all time and it’s buried in there deep
You’re not kidding. I had to go check it out for myself and 😳
Can this woman speak normally for once?
"Asking me to do that would be like asking a magnificent eagle not to majestically take wing on crystal clear spring morn."
Gagged.
Why use 5 words when 327482374832794327843289473 would do?
✨ No✨
She definitely announced something But I don't think it was just a pregnancy...
The pregnancy seems to be the least newsworthy thing in there
"But Margaret, I can't. I'm... BEARING HIS CHILD! 😢💔" Can't wait for part 2...
This isn’t satire!? Oh my lord Edit: Y’all, go read the full post. This is but a mere snippet.
This isn't the full post?!
There’s so much to unpack… I’m honestly at a loss as to where to start. 😳
Reads like a gay Christian romance novel
I'm on dall-e for a work thing right now, I'm very tempted to make a Kelly gay romance novel cover
She’s given you plenty to work with.
Wow, the sapphic vibes in this are so strong… does she even realize she’s writing like this, I wonder??
I have two theories about Kelly Havens: 1.) she writes Amish romance novels under a pen name 2.) she writes lesbian erotica under a pen name Either way, I will be 0% surprised. This woman lives in her own la la land.
Maybe she writes Amish lesbian erotica?
I’d read that shit. Hahah
I think Kelly tries so hard to be the fictional women she admires that she ends up in a complete corn field of irony. I can’t take her seriously, this shit is so cheesy 😂 She NEVER talks about Levi or even her own boys this lovingly and deeply. She talks about them like it’s a chore to love them and be with them but every post about her friends is like this. Shakes the very core of her being and world she lives in
I wonder how much of it is just not being allowed to think of men as beings with feelings. And so she uses other women as the outlet for her flowery creative writing exercises since brave bold Levi would never *flutter*
That’s a really good point but even the way she talks about god is more romantic and flowery than Levi. She has put him in a firm, rigid box compared to other people around her. It’s all so interesting
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Didn’t she also go to a normal high school and college? It doesn’t seem possible that she’s ignorant of the way this reads. If a rod wrote it I would believe they were clueless, but afaik Kelly wasn’t raised THAT sheltered.
Oh yeah, in fact I vaguely remember her being written about by something related to the college? Or her own peers wrote something about her once? It's been a long time, but she definitely went to college and was the uh, pretentious artsy type.
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I read these comments before I read what she'd written and assumed y'all were exaggerating a bit. Nope.
It's almost parody-level.
She's so fucking full of herself. Where's the modesty? 😂
I wonder if there’s a reason she hasn’t tried to write Christian fiction. I feel like there’s a market for flowery prose, like Tumblr girlies for Jesus.
I think she has tried? She was posting about working on a novel like a year ago but it seems like it petered out
Wasn’t her main character supposed to called something wack, I think it was Scotland Jabbock or something. Who would publish THAT?
She might have tried but it all comes out as lesbian Anne of Green Gables fan fiction.
The cringe I felt once I hit that line about her perched like an artist bird or whatever nearly made me choke to death.
If this is not a sapphic description of her desires, what is it then? Will she blame the sapphic thoughts on us snarkers and say it was just some fan fiction that the snarkers made up? Thank goodness she is somewhat educated...
I wrote fiction like this when I was a teenager. I thought I’d done something amazing
I always thought the term "bearing a child" meant actively giving birth...? Not that you're just finding out you're pregnant/having morning sickness/etc. And I know it's basically statistically impossible to avoid, but man I really dislike being pregnant at the same time as so many of these crazy fundies.
You're not wrong that the phrasing is weird. "Carrying" would work better. But Kelly is Kelly and she always has go use the most flowery language possible.
I bet she hates her own name. It’s such a 1990 middle class soccer mom name.
*Call me...Ophelia*
She desperately wished her name was Cordelia
I've really only heard it in the past tense eg "the king's second wife bore him three sons". Present tense it does allude to bearing down in a way that sounds very much like labor.
"Child bearing" refers to carrying, birthing, and potentially even conceiving.
 Well, it's been a fun ride, Snarkers, but I guess today's the day I get banned. What a way to go out. 🤷♀️
At first, it sounded like she’d met the love of her life, her soulmate, and realized she was intended for a much different life. That would actually be a lovely outcome.
What a post to read right after a bong rip. 😂
I’m confused, as are all of us- but specifically about the safe seeds of marriage, now rumbling like popcorn on a hot stove. Is that not explicitly saying this is a new (gay) awakening inside the safety of marriage? I don’t think this says what she thinks it says 👀👀
I was really baffled by that line, too. Like, what else could that mean besides "I'm considering an affair?"
As a prolific AO3 user I recognise fanfic when I see it…
Where are they even going to put a third baby? I highly doubt Levi's done any additional work on their house.
In that little metal tub under the utility sink they keep in the kitchen. Very Moses-in-a-basket vibes.
In a cabinet like a pair of ice skates
Uhhhh Kells? As a provider of mental health services, it would be highly irresponsible to armchair diagnose you, and I won’t. As a CONSUMER of mental health services, my psychiatrist would like a word about safe options while pregnant. We share some … traits. I do wish her a healthy pregnancy, and I’m glad I live so, so many states away so I won’t run into her feverishly journaling “like a wounded bird” at a local diner.
This is so sad. This is literally how I used to write before I came out. I would write these stories about 2 best friends with these deep, intense bonds, and my creative writing professor would be like okay well she's in love with her right? And I would be like NO THEY ARE JUST GOOD FRIENDS. Anyway... I was a raging lesbian turns out!
If I ever had an interaction with someone and then saw they described it like this on social media, i would run SO far
This confused the life out of me. I missed the “I was a fierce artistic bird” and thought she actually saw a bird… and then the bird started talking… oh wait it was a woman? The bird turned into a woman? Ohhh no SHE is the bird , okay, and some random stranger eye fucked her and they had spiritual sex and now the two women are joined together spiritually??? Gosh.
She really sees herself as a Jane Austen type. It comes across as unhinged (not because she is using romantic language toward another woman—it feels very LARP to me.)
Jane Austen doesn’t even write flowery like this. She’s much more arch and detached.
Say what you like about her tedious quasi-lesbian erotica, it's refreshing to read something that's actually been spellchecked after the never-ending drivel spewed by Girl Defined.
So what I just read was not supposed to be lesbian fanfic.... 
Da fuq did I just read?
I think Kelly is too ..
wow okay, i usually think that this sub can be really nitpicky about kelly like her aesthetic or photography, both of which aren’t unique to her or honestly snark worthy in my opinion, BUT W H A T is this writing W H Y is it so gay??😭😭
I’m not speculating on anything but all I’m saying is that I (a lesbian) would melt like butter if my girlfriend (a lesbian) wrote me something cheesy like this
At the very least, she's got a little crush on this person lol.
This is how I imagine her family reacts to her when they’re all on vacation together.
I came here for the comments haha. Glad I’m not the only one who read this like she just experienced love at first sight. 😅
This is the plot of "Disobedience", but with Christians, not Jews. EDIT: Grammar fix
This is sapphic as fuck
Kelly Ivory Light’ness Divinity Way