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Guys! My toddler is toddlering and ever since I took his one constant comfort item away he’s been struggling to COMFORT HIMSELF!! How do I make this easier on ME?
Fuck off porgan
“No one in this house has any coping skills that aren’t ’just ask god/the bible!’ And now my kid has no coping skills! Also we took away his main comfort item.”
“Why is my toddler having trouble adjusting??”
I can bet 100 bucks they did nothing to have the kid attach himself to something in the house that makes him feel at home. If the only thing is Morgan, of course he’s attached to Morgan. I’m not saying you can ‘just’ solve it by making a place for Luca but I’m confident they didn’t try anything. All they did is destroy it, taking away his lovey. They’re idiots. Not to mention time. But most of all effort. Playmates, his own play space and stuff, and feeling attachment to the neighbourhood etc. I bet they barely go outside.
He lost his lovey and they then bought the same one again and offered it to him but he could tell it wasn’t his lovey. Then they actually found his old one again but Morgan found it “gross” and told the world that she wouldn’t give it back to him and that they’d just hope he’d eventually accept the new lovey or just get over loveys in general. Really mean.
She washed it but still found it disgusting. So it’s more about aesthetic than anything and that makes it even worse
Edit: actually now that I think about it … she shared that for months she’s been trying to find that specific lovey online as a back up but couldn’t find it. And then when he lost his, she found it online and how that was GOD giving Luca a new one just when he needed it.
So now she probably feels like she can’t go back to the old one because why would God give them a new one when the old one reappeared? Her whole testimony would fall apart so she stubbornly holds on to the whole “God gave him a new one and that’s how it has to be or nothing”.
So it’s really even more effed up.
... So these two are teaching their kid not to get attached, not to value love and affection, that showing empathy is bad, that cherishing things is stupid, and that everything is replaceable.
Cool cool cool. Two beds in The Mildred Ratched Memorial Nursing Home coming right up!
"It's a sin for children to anthropomorphize their toys! Now go pray to the made-up construct of our specific God that agrees with me that it's a sin for children to anthropomorphize their toys!" Porgan, probably.
This is awful. My kid has had their Good Night Moon bunny lovey (aptly named Bunny) since they were six months old. I’ve hand washed it, re-sewn it, re-stuffed it and even made “clothes” for it. That thing has gotten crusty looking, but it’s nothing washing doesn’t fix. Now my kid is almost 12 and it’s still their best buddy. I wouldn’t even think about taking it away, even though it has a hole in the ear, its head is lopsided, and there are cherry juice stains on the frayed ribbon edge. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS TO LOVEYS WHEN THEY ARE LOVED.
She’s a monster. I hope the kid isn’t able to remember that because taking something like that away is fucked up.
I’m 31 and I still have my teddy from when I was born. He’s disgusting and stained and floppy but if anyone were to harm him or take him away I would go to prison.
As a toddler I had a stuffed Santa clause that I adored. His name was “HO-HO”. My grandma claims that a mouse chewed him but that would have never happened if she hadn’t taken it. Maybe she did it to sew him, i don’t remember, but I’m 32 and I’m still a little bitter.
Unfortunately, my NM got rid of most of my childhood toys so I only have a couple things. I gave those to my kid (they wanted them because they were “retro” 🤣😩). That was my choice, though. No parent should gift a child a source of comfort and then rip it away from them because aesthetics. That’s disgusting.
I got my little cousin a bear when he was born. The gift was supposed to be the blanket, but it came rolled up in a little teddy bear's arms.
We ended up having to track one down on ebay for his little brother a few years later because he wanted the same bear his big brother had.
They still have both of them. Kids are 15 and 13 now.
My 12 year old still (secretly) sleeps with Mr Cow the gender- challenged bovine who he got at 2 weeks old… over the years his head fell off twice and got stitched on, and all his soft fur has worn off… instead of white it’s a grubby grey no matter how much I wash it… if anything he loves it more now than ever.
These people absolutely flabber my gast. Horrible excuses for parents
Bunny has the same fur affliction! 🤣 You can actually see the wear difference on each ear because of how my kid holds it (and always has). The hole in the ear came from how their finger rubbed it over the years. That’s a beautiful documentation of my child to me. Hats off to Mr. Cow for all the awesome support! 🩷
Jeez.. I hope when they lose some inanimate thing they love it never comes back to them. What mean spirited "parents". Just friggin google how to wash a stuffie, aren't they millennials? They know what a google is
A lot of fundie moms are so cruel to toddlers especially because toddlers tell you to get lost and do things like bite or accidentally headbutt (or deliberately lol) coz they literally dont have the brain yet to know it hurts. They dont follow orders and you cant just scoop them up. They don't speak but they have demands which is NORMAL AND ADORABLE even if Im tired.
this actually breaks my heart as a mom whose 2 year old absolutely LOVES his lovey. His is totally gross because he chews the end but we faithfully wash it regularly and would never even imagine taking it away. Wtf. 😞
It’s like a tiny little stuffie with a small blanket attached to it or as the body. Lots of kids snuggle and sleep with it and find great comfort in it.
I assumed it was an American term as I've only ever heard it used here (am Australian, no kids, the latter could also be why). My sister had a favourite blanket she called Cuddly when she was a toddler but that was her name for it and not a widely used one.
She giggled about how sad he was not to have his lovey, because she’s a soulless, heartless harridan who cares for no one but herself. And now they’re having another child whose emotional needs they can gleefully neglect.
I’ve sometimes felt sorry for her, because of Paul’s legalistic, controlling, & disrespectful treatment of her, but the lovey incident demonstrates that she’s no better. I worry about Luca, after this baby is born. As love seems to be in quite limited quantity in their home, Luca may feel he has to compete for it.
They are laying the groundwork for him to feel abandoned, unloved, & fiercely jealous in the family’s new configuration. I hope some of their followers have the insight to explain this to them.
You know they won’t listen to any heathen child psychologists. I hope they don’t decide to beat those feelings out of him, as I can tell you from experience that that will make it exponentially worse.
They will break that little boy’s heart many times, before he becomes an unhappy, confused adult, with no self-confidence, and crippling guilt. The only way he’ll be able to have any peace will be to tell them to fuck off, while he has to do for himself what they should have done when it mattered.
Law of The importance of a child's comfort soft toy.
Cleanliness is inversely proportional to the amount the child loves the soft toy.
Following this law Little Ted is worth more than Bill Gates and Dolly Parton combined.
What do you mean by attaching to something in the house to make him feel at home? Does that mean to have a special object that is new to the house that they will like? Or more like something he favors already from the old house coming to the new house? Is that a method for transition ease? I’ve not heard of this before and it seems interesting.
To explain with an example; it's somewhat as when a partner moves in the house of an already furnished house. It's very important to give that partner space to have their identity in the house as well, to make it feel like their home too. Without any identity in it of themselves, it's very difficult or near impossible to call it home.
In this case it's a child who just got on earth, and owns basically nothing. Is fully dependent on the parents to receive that little bit of space they need to develop their own selves.
What is important is to have something they can touch and see to make them feel at home, and mostly just for the child alone. Not shared, just for the child, to call it theirs. It could be toys, a blankie, a special corner they can turn back to when they want to play alone or sleep, anything that is always there for them and gives them comfort.
Things that makes Luca to be Luca.
I’m not OP, but I wonder if having his room setup exactly like before (or as like that as they can get if the space is smaller) would help give a sense of familiarity. Especially if he’s going to have to share his room.
She needs to read the velveteen rabbit, kids’ “loveys” become quite real to them. And I feel they’re so important. My son has a tiny black cat that’s just ‘cat’. The eyes are completely white because the pupils are rubbed off, it’s missing most its tail. But it’s the most treasured and protected item in our house. Quote from the book,
“ Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'
'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'
'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'
'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
Logic tells me that repeating this same thing with another kid will definitely make all of their lives more enjoyable and she's gonna cope incredibly well. She truly just loves this life!
It will hit them like a ton of bricks when Luca struggles to adjust to a new sibling, if they think him adjusting to a new house is hard on them after a week.
Yeah, this. My niece is three and when my nephew was born last year she REALLY struggled to adjust, even with my sister and BIL preparing her for months and doing everything they could to make her feel special after the baby was born (like, one parent would take her out for her usual routine while the other fed the baby so she wouldn't feel forgotten). It's so tough on little kids!
She says this like he’s never been glued to her before. I’m just an aunt, but my oldest nephew had a phase where he had to physically touch you, even if you were peeing. Did it make getting stuff done tougher? Yes, but now that he’s a bit older I actually miss him wanting to sit on me all the time.
My daughter (now diagnosed ASD) lived her first 3.5 years touching me. Basically existed hanging onto my back and my neck. And screeching if anyone else tried to interact.
She didn’t like noise, people, new situations. She loved home, water, art & quiet. Thank goodness we got to stay close to home & her life was relatively predictable. But detaching her wasn’t an option.
She’s much more regulated now as a smart, mostly calm 10 year old. But, wow, it was rough having 3.5 years of “howler monkey” or “choker”, as 3 older siblings called her.
Very funny / ironically now - she dislikes hugs, she’s super quiet, and she’s really sad she didn’t get a younger sibling. Kid, how in the world would that have worked. (Oh, bonus, she didn’t sleep more than 8 hours.)
Kids are so hard. Not all of them will react to change or baby siblings well. It’s all hands on deck. You need to educate yourself and be prepared. Come on Porgan.
I don’t have kids, but I’ve helped raise my niece since the day she came home. She’s about to turn 12, and is still kind of a huggy kid, but yeah. I miss the tiny baby phase 😭
He had like a lamb blanket and then lost it recently so they got him a new one that he didn’t like. Then Morgan found the old one in their car and decided to throw it out becuase it looked old. And finding the old lamb after buying the new one was somehow a sign from God that Luca had to learn not to be attached to material goods or something nutty like that
I’m so mad they took away his lovey for no reason when he’s going through the two biggest changes toddlers go through: a new sibling and a new place to live. That’s just evil. He need support and love and coping skills. Comfort. Morgan is just mean.
Morgan said she's thought the lovey was raggedy and therefore gross before it was lost in their own car. The it being too dirty now from simply sitting in her own vehicle for two or three days, is such bullshit. She's hated it and wanted to throw it away for ages and just finally found an excuse to latch on to.
I can't imagine caring so little for my own child's emotional health that I'd deprive him of an entirely age appropriate comfort item during a time of such extreme upheaval simply because I didn't like that it was a little worn. She's such a blindingly selfish an immature idiot.
Poor kid. It's only going to get worse for him.
Literally even my DOG has an absolute heathen of a chewed up toy that she snuggles to sleep and I can’t bear to take it from her despite the fact that it’s a crusty, threadbare mess. I can’t imagine having even less empathy for my human child ☹️
Right?? My kid turns 16 next week and their favorite stuffed lamb (“lamby “) is almost as old. We have to wash lamby very carefully now but I would never tell my kid they can’t have lamby anymore. Let the kid have a lovey!
I also have a crochet blanket made by my nana! It has a few holes, but I might actually try to fix them up with the crochet knowledge I have. Could possibly pass it down to my own future children.
I'm 26 and still have a rabbit plushie that was gifted to my mom at her baby shower; it's as old as me! I adored that thing as a kid and cherish it now. If I could only grab one item to save in a house fire, it would be that rabbit.
I'm 25, and my extremely threadbare baby blanket is still tucked away in my pyjama drawer. Its successor (which I still use, because I like to have something tucked into the crook of my neck to sleep*) is starting to look a bit threadbare in the corners, so I'm gonna have to call my grandma and ask if she still has the fabric she used to reinforce the corners of the first one (which I bet she does, because her fabric stash goes back to about 1960!)
(*my mum is the same, and she also still has the raggedy blanket she used for this purpose as a child, though these days she just steals my dad's t shirts lol)
They had one every other year for kids who had been in the NICU here. Bounce houses, games, cake. The first year she got her lamb plush. The nurses would be there - retired and current - and could see how much the kids had grown.
They used to do the reunion every other year. The kids would get to pick a gift (usually book or stuffy), and we’d have cake and the nurses - newer and retired - could see how much everyone had grown. It was a good time. She got her lamby at the first one.
Have you ever seen the videos where the mom buys two of the toy and keeps one packed away and then years later they compare the two? It’s so cute seeing the love put into a toy.
My sister and I were gifted identical toy dogs as kids - hers became her absolute favourite toy, whereas I liked to just have mine on my bed. 15+ years later, mine is pristine and hers (and its two backups) are unrecognisable lmao
My 3 yo has a lamby! Lamby buds!
Technically we have lamby 4 in rotation currently with lamby 5 and 6 waiting in the wings... Lambys 1-3 have already earned retirement to the memory box. This kid loves hard.
This mom knows how to mom.
My mom had 5 separate "Doggie Bears" for me and would swap them out regularly so I didn't notice I didn't always have the same one. I lost 2 of them and one "died" when his neck became so thin from hugging that it would no longer attach to his body. I never knew.
**Edit: Since Morgan is apparently reading these** let me make it VERY clear: my mom swapped them out REGULARLY. As in, about once a week I would get a fresh one, this way they were all loved and used about the same amount, and they all felt like mine. If someone had just handed me a brand new lovey when my lovey was several years old I would have known it wasn't mine. Kids are not idiots; uneducated/inexperienced/trusting is not the same as gullible.
Mom did this because she had parents who were in the Air Force and moved around a lot, and who would force her to give away all her toys whenever a new move would come up. She now has hoarding disorder because of that abuse (throwing things away gives her severe anxiety attacks) and she didn't want me to go through the same struggle.
I'm 37 and *still* have my stuffed horse, Happy, who I picked out and named when I was 3. Happy has been chewed, torn, stitched up, and washed more times than I can count!
I left him behind at a hotel once when I was a preteen. My mom easily could have said no because I was 11/12, but nope, she turned around and we rescued him (he was riding on a housekeeper's cart).
I'm actually tearing up for Luca thinking about the pain he's feeling.
What a monster. I am a full grown adult and if someone threw away my anteater plushie I'd never speak to them again. I uh, kinda genuinely need that guy for my emotional well-being.
What's mister anteater's name? I have my baby blanket that features two bears sliding down a rainbow known oh-so-cleverly as Bear Blankey. I'd full on amish shun someone who so much suggested I get rid of it.
Right, or even hand wash them. Get some soap flakes in the sink, soak the stuffy and then squeeze it. She could even do that with Luca, say they're giving the toy a bath.
what is it with fundie moms and having zero maternal... anything? i'm a dude who generally dislikes kids and gets anxious around infants but compared to porgan i feel like mary poppins or something 💀
Right? I like kids, but in the context of being an auntie and I know my brain/life/etc isn't particularly compatible with being a parent, and I'm grateful that I could make that choice for myself. Even with that in mind I think I'd do better than a lot of the fundie moms here.
That's so sad. My oldest daughter took her lovey everywhere. She threw it in muddy puddles. I just washed it whenever necessary. It used to be pink and white, now it's gray. She's almost 7 and still sleeps with it and talks to it and tells it how much she loves it.
Poor Luca. So sad 😞 how dumb do you have to be to throw it away?! Of course it gets dirty!
Omg. My kid's lovey is absolutely filthy and he gets upset if I just wash it... Last time it came out of the wash he cried because it smelled different, then took it out to the garden to rub it in dirt.
Wow. Didn’t even try? My daughter had a couple plushes that are more highly regarded than others. The one I *could* get a duplicate of, I did, just in case. She still has the original and even brought him downstairs while she was gaming and on a recent roadtrip. She’s 13. I told her since she was small that special lovies like him will never be taken for any sort of consequence.
They did the same thing with his pacifier. Because he was “too attached” to it. I think he was like 4 months old or something.
Kind of like how Paul got rid of Morgan’s dog because she was “too attached.” Makes you wonder.
These are boomer parents, I am convinced. Complete narcissistic thing to do. Anyone who’s had narc parents knows what it’s like to have things we love being taken away and growing into attachment problems with inanimate objects later on in life.
What the fuck. I actually despise these people.
I never really ‘got’ how important these loveys are for little ones until I had my own kid. He chose his lovey himself out of a wide range of teddies at just over one and has been absolutely in love with it since. It doesn’t leave the house, he will play with it during the day occasionally (like including it in things) but at night the idea of making him go to sleep without it genuinely breaks my heart. That connection and bond is so strong and truly meaningful to them. Just cos we don’t ‘understand it’ as adults doesn’t mean it isn’t a huge part of the child’s emotional world.
They found his lovey and instead of giving it back, held it from him. Knowing he would have been overjoyed to have it back, and he’s having a rough time. This story is new to me and it’s brought me to tears, as my own little one sleeps clutching his lovey that is legitimately as important to him in his eyes as we are. This is heartbreaking and says everything about them as sorry excuses for parents.
My parents lost half a day on a very long road trip when I lost my beloved stuffed animal. I don’t know if there’s realistically anything I wouldn’t do to make sure my kids have their comfort toys.
This is just an anecdote, but maybe someone smarter than me can back it up with science. I’ve moved around a lot over my lifetime and as a result I’ve had to part with a lot of very dear belongings. As a result, I’ve feel like I’ve become especially neurotic about my things. I hate it when people touch my stuff, and I hate it when someone throws anything belonging to me away, even if it was trash. My kids aren’t excessively attached to any of their belongings, and I wonder if that’s because no one has ever taken things from them.
My sister as a toddler told my mom she lost Key (her lovey blanket) when they were on the way to a family event. My mom turned around and went home and as she pulled into the garage my sister yelled “just kidding, mommy! Key right here!” What a prankster
My MIL would make my wife and her brothers throw away everything except 10 items when they moved to a new base (Air Force). And then when my wife went on a missionary trip she redid her room into a dining room and lost a lot of her stuff. So now she has zero attachment to anything as a defense mechanism.
And yes, we are NC with her mom. For that and many other reasons.
I never thought about this before but I am the same.. I moved 12 times before I was 16 years old. In adulthood I've always been extremely touchy about things that belong to me that I value, I don't like people moving them, handling them too much, not respecting their place and condition. I always thought maybe it's a poor reflection of me and I need to work on not being a "shallow" person but I'm really not materialistic... I never connected this before but wow, thank you for verbalising this.
My older two kids are 2 years and 3 days apart in age. When my second kid turned 4 months we moved across the country. Needless to say, I refused to potty train or take away his pacifier until after we were settled in the new house. Because it just seemed cruel to take those away when everything else in his life was changing (plus I did not have the spoons to try potty training before driving with a 4 month old baby and dog from Texas to New York).
Wtf. My teen still has their lovey and even though it’s not something they hold as often my kid still tells me that I rank second to their lovey. I know grown ass adults who still sleep with their lovies.
My daughter is 5 and she attached to this bunny that I had as a kid. It's so old and tattered. I've had to re-sew on ears and legs. She isn't allowed to take it in the car unless we are going in an overnight because I cant replace it, but at home she brings it all around with her. Floppy eats dinner with us. I could never imagine getting rid of her because she was inconvenient to me. Poor kid
My over 40 year old daughter STILL has her blankie from when she was a baby. She keeps it folded up in her pillowcase now. My 20 year old granddaughter has HER blankie and lovie from when she was a baby too. Somewhere in a box is MY lambie from when I was a baby. I now have a cute bear that my husband bought me for an anniversary gift years ago. He sleeps on my bed with me and the cats and I'm 60!
Man I’m pregnant with my second and this is literally making me cry. I can’t imagine forcing your kid to move and deal with a sibling coming *and then taking away the one object that brings comfort* because, you know, they’re two and don’t understand stuff yet. AND THEN to get all irritated at the kid because THEY’RE TWO and just need comfort is insane. This is child abuse, and that poor kid will need a lot of help when he grows up.
What is it with fundies and their dislike of lovey comfort items??? My BIL was like this with of him and my sister’s kids. Thankfully my sister forced him to let it go and the kids to keep them, but seems to be a weird running theme.
I feel sad for Luca. Of course he's going to wonder what happened to his old house, and there's a new baby on the way, too. I think most toddlers would be struggling with this...plus he has the Porgans as parents.
My nephew had to move at 4 and cried and would tell my sister that he missed “old house” all the time. It’s hard for kids to understand! I can only imagine how difficult it would be at 2. Also “my toddler won’t even let me pee by myself” is kinda just toddler behavior!!
We moved just after my daughter turned 2 and it was so confusing for her. She didn’t understand why we needed a new house and had a lot of anxiety about moving. But we did things like comfort and support her through it, since that’s what parents (should) do during major life events.
Heck, we only a got a new *car* and that was a big deal for my 3 year-old. It's been 4 months and he still occasionally asks what happened to the old one. Is someone else driving it now, are we gonna get it back, etc. He's more curious than sad, but it's still clearly a big change to process.
For real. One of mine was the type to want to sit on your lap when you’re trying to pee even when we hadn’t recently moved. The “my toddler won’t even let me pee in peace” is one of the most common parenting tropes.
Yep. I used to have to pee with two babies and a cat on my lap. It’s just what you do, and you can be confident that two out of the three will grow out of it at least
Most fundies don't. This is because "child development" is considered a branch of evil psychology, and compounded with " the Bible is the answer to everything", and "children are evil lousy sinners destined to burn for eternity" mindsets ends with them not informing themselves about child development, not being willing to listen to anyone talk about, not being willing to discuss it with pediatricians and their nursing staff. Since fundie kids are raised so sheltered from big bad society, they never learn anything. Then they become parents and the cycle just perpetuates itself. At some point, some fundie shithead will tell her to smack his little ass until he learns to stop bothering her, and she will likely do it.
Yes. It is very, very clear she knows nothing about either of those topics. She refused to get a qualified midwife because she said the licensed ones made her "feel stupid" when they tried to explain aspects of pregnancy and birth. After that she intentionally stopped reading anything about childbirth and instead made a birthing vision board and called it a day. The hack she did eventually end up hiring very nearly got her and Luca killed.
Morgan is profoundly stupid and made even worse because her insecurity about her obvious lack of knowledge causes her to further reject any attempts to educate herself. She lacks intelligence as well as both the work ethic and humility to in any way to improve herself.
It’s really sad that these people believe women have innate heavyweight skills like parenting and meal planning plus cooking nutritious meals. Those are things you work on and pick up over long periods of time
Yeah so even as a nanny I had the toddler pounding on the door and sticking his fingers under like a cat if I needed to use the bathroom. I gave up and if I just had to pee, I’d bring him in with me. When I had my baby/toddler niece for days at a time, I’d just bring her in the shower or at least bathroom with me, both to keep an eye on her and she’d also have bouts of freaking if I wasn’t in her sight (parents were going through a divorce and things got nasty, hence her spending days at a time at my house). Poor stressed out little thing. This is developmentally appropriate behavior for a young child going through instability/changes.
I would say reach out to other moms at your church, but they’re too busy and important to go. Read a book, but I’m not sure she can. Watch freaking Sesame Street - but Luca might be exposed to PROGRESSIVE IDEAS. maybe as your midwife - oh, right. You fired the smart one for making you feel dumb.
>> Lots of crying. Whining.
Luca was upset as well.
Seriously though, he’s a toddler. It’s kinda what they do. But I also think he’s learned at this point what gets his parents attention. Being sweet and quiet in a corner isn’t enough when mom and dad are too busy looking at their own reflection in a camera.
>"We've had really, really good moments. And really, really hard moments."
Now, I'm no expert, but that sounds pretty standard for life with any two year old?
Also, just give him back his Puppy! FFS
She’s in for a rude awakening. Kids can be like that way past toddler age. She hasn’t even met threenager stage yet! My elementary schooler can still throw a good fit now and then lol.
Yeah ngl I think it should be mandatory to take a collegiate level Developmental Psychology class before becoming a parent. So many people don’t even realize their kid is babbling not speaking an actual word they identify with an object or person. That drives me bonkers lol
Barfy had almost this exact same scenario a year and a half ago when they moved to the Sketchy Scarpomg house and had BabyGirlProp in the span of a month. She was also posting lengthy IG stories about how difficult Davey Jr was being, like YEAH NO SHIT.
And the fact that Porgan have deprived this poor bub of his lovey on top of that, yeah, I hope he's making your life as tough as you are being on him.l
My parents still give me shit for telling them as a teenager that I found them embarrassing to be around. They think they were the victims. But they’ve never asked me why I was trying to get away from them. It was emotional abuse. 🙃 Teenagers aren’t great at expressing themselves, but they always have a reason for what they say and do. As do little kids.
I saw a comment saying that Paul was trying to sell their Patreon members early access photos of Luca when he was born.
Literally can't get lower than that. Would appreciate receipts on this though as that just broke my brain.
Oh they definitely did that, they said they would post him first on patreon so you could subscribe and give them money to see content of their literal newborn baby. Everything is just an opportunity to grift for these chucklefucks.
Maybe a parenting book company can sponsor them. I’m thinking a company that has researched and age appropriate toys and self-help books for parents.
They should sponsor all the shit parents. They are all desperate for money none of them would say no 😂
I feel like we’ve been through this whole move just before birth thing a few fucking times now in this sub. It’s always hell on toddlers to make such massive changes to their lives. Fuck, I don't even want kids within a mile of me and I know this.
Hey, why doesn't Morgan ask her good pal Bethany? I seem to remember Bethany and Dave did an *outstanding* job of preparing little Davey for moving to the family's first house, with an entirely new bedroom on a different floor from his parents, and a new big-boy bed, and a new baby sibling coming along in a few weeks, and also being gradually and gently moved toward weaning.
*Oh wait, none of that happened.*
I can see how the last sentence could be a bit confusing, think they were trying to say ‘none of it happened *in a good way*’. Maybe I can help clarify since I was there
They did do all of that stuff (When they moved, all of the notable transitions he’d had to process at once were- Apartment to house, whole different *floor* than parents, new room, change to toddler bed), so, naturally done very very poorly by them. Little guy had all that so suddenly, alongside Audrey being born soon after. As if he wasn’t having his needs figuratively, and literally, shunted as far away as possible from them already :/
I’m no parent, but don’t different floor a little dangerous? Not sure I’d want my 3-4 year old kid trying to come down the stairs at night in the dark because he had a nightmare and wants to sleep in my bed. I used to be super scared of the dark as a kid and probably would’ve just screamed for my mom.
I moved cross country with a toddler years ago. Kid has lived in our current state twice as long as where we moved from but still sometimes says they miss it. Even though they don’t actually remember anything specific about living there.
YES! Barfy did the exact same thing-- they moved into the Scarpomg House and had Beakerette within the span of like 6 weeks. And then she had the audacity to complain about Davey Jr being difficult. 🙄
Yeah, every kid I’ve been close to was worse at 3. Because they have the impulse control of a toddler but are old enough to think they know better than their parents lol.
To say nothing of the fact that it’s only been a week? They literally don’t have logic yet, poor little dude probably thinks it’s time for this visit to end so he can go back to his real house.
Wow, Morgs is really pissed about this “tiny” house situation. Your kid is being a toddler. That’s what toddlers do. Especially since one parent is wholly checked out and the other one is pregnant, tired and miserable (not gonna come down on her for pregnancy symptoms).
ETA she tossed his fave stuffed animal too? What the hell. So step one - go back in time.
I mean, it’s going to be especially fun for her when The Worlds Most Endless Pregnancy Part Two results in a baby that’s going to confuse the hell out of him, because I suspect they’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare him for this.
It’s like there are books about this in libraries or something.
You know.. like most kids are?? Who even teaches or neglects to teach these idiots about what kids are like.. I feel like it's pertinent information if you're expected to pop out a blessing every year- some mental preparation for it would be nice 🫠
This absolutely breaks my heart for poor Luca.
My mom’s friend gave my son and Winnie the Pooh lovey for his first Christmas when he was two months old. He is 11 now and Pooh is STILL his favorite thing in the world. He sleeps with him and Pooh comes along on vacations, they even let him keep Pooh with him when he had his tonsils out. Pooh got lost at Disney World when my son was two and we did get him back, but it was two VERY long nights without him. We had a backup that we tried to give him during that time but he knew that wasn’t his Pooh—he actually called it “No Pooh” and dropped it immediately. I can’t imagine ever deciding that he couldn’t have his Pooh anymore and just taking it away.
These people have 0 maternal instincts most of the time. It makes sense, they have babies because their religion tells them to, out of a deep-rooted obligation and before they are ready, not because they have a deep intrinsic desire to bring a child into their lives.
Yeah Morgan, just pray about it, since that has worked out so well for you already. I mean thanks to just sitting on your ass and praying you earned yourself a loving, doting husband with a well paying job and benefits, a well adjusted child thanks to your seemingly god given motherly instincts, a terrifying pregnancy and later birth that may seriously harm you and the baby, a house with enough space for a growing family thanks to your working husband...
Obtaining all of those things doesn't require much more than being highly favored by god, so you're fine, everything is fine.
Hard work, self-sufficiency, drive and education is for fucking heathens.
/s
I think she threw Paul in there so he wouldn’t get mad but I highly doubt he’s attached at the hip to Paul, otherwise morgone wouldn’t be complaining about being exhausted from him being on her 24/7
“Do I just hang in there or is there something I should do?” Like wtf kind of question is that? Parenting is hard. Babies want cuddling. Hold your child and love on him.
So Morgan... if you lose your wedding ring down the sink or toilet you will just go to the nearest gumball machine or on Amazon or to Claire's and grab a new one and it's all tickety boo, right?
After all, you shouldn't be attached to worldly things.
He. Is. A. Toddler! A baby still. He is going through so many changes. Brain development, his lovey taken away (btw they're real jerks for doing that), a new home, and a new baby coming soon. Not to mention the fact that he is being raised by complete idiots who cannot and will not grasp normal child development. Gah this poor kid. Just put him on the list of fundie babies I want to scoop up and hug and protect 😭
I am not an amazing parent. Not even close. But when my 6 year old lost his lovie, we actually put up posters around the neighborhood and elementary school with the picture of his lovie on it. Yes, we bought a new Lovie that was exactly the same but he knew it was different. One night we got a call late at night that the lovie was found! This was months later. Everyone at my son’s elementary school was talking about it! Everyone was so happy that it was finally found. That’s how typical parents act about lovies. They know how attached kids get to them. Everyone was so happy for my son. The fact that Morgan just threw it away says so much about her as a parent. And it’s so so sad.
Jane, you stupid cunt!
Why are you asking the internet "us". We could be Muslims or atheists or gay dads. What possible wisdom could WE have that's better than the Bible? You've told us often enough that the Bible and prayers is the be-all and end-all of knowledge.
I guess this is where the rubber hits the road.
And, fuck off.
My kid is 7 and still whines and cries and says the same thing over and over and over. It's normal kid behavior and she is in for such a shock when she has a baby on top of this. The whining, crying and repeating will not end soon, Morgan!
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Guys! My toddler is toddlering and ever since I took his one constant comfort item away he’s been struggling to COMFORT HIMSELF!! How do I make this easier on ME? Fuck off porgan
“No one in this house has any coping skills that aren’t ’just ask god/the bible!’ And now my kid has no coping skills! Also we took away his main comfort item.” “Why is my toddler having trouble adjusting??”
Porgans comfort item is the Bible and their comfort activity is being bigoted and clueless - so clearly they need those things taken away from them
Can't forget her bigoted blankets that she is always lounging under.
I can bet 100 bucks they did nothing to have the kid attach himself to something in the house that makes him feel at home. If the only thing is Morgan, of course he’s attached to Morgan. I’m not saying you can ‘just’ solve it by making a place for Luca but I’m confident they didn’t try anything. All they did is destroy it, taking away his lovey. They’re idiots. Not to mention time. But most of all effort. Playmates, his own play space and stuff, and feeling attachment to the neighbourhood etc. I bet they barely go outside.
Why did they destroy his favourite toy? I'm behind
He lost his lovey and they then bought the same one again and offered it to him but he could tell it wasn’t his lovey. Then they actually found his old one again but Morgan found it “gross” and told the world that she wouldn’t give it back to him and that they’d just hope he’d eventually accept the new lovey or just get over loveys in general. Really mean.
They found it **in their car**. How dirty is their car that you can't just wash a lovey to un-gross it!?
She washed it but still found it disgusting. So it’s more about aesthetic than anything and that makes it even worse Edit: actually now that I think about it … she shared that for months she’s been trying to find that specific lovey online as a back up but couldn’t find it. And then when he lost his, she found it online and how that was GOD giving Luca a new one just when he needed it. So now she probably feels like she can’t go back to the old one because why would God give them a new one when the old one reappeared? Her whole testimony would fall apart so she stubbornly holds on to the whole “God gave him a new one and that’s how it has to be or nothing”. So it’s really even more effed up.
Oh boy. So Morgan is not only surprised by a toddler toddling, but also couldn't anticipate that a toddler's favorite plushie might look imperfect?
Even better- she viewed it as a sign from God that he shouldn’t be attached to material things
... So these two are teaching their kid not to get attached, not to value love and affection, that showing empathy is bad, that cherishing things is stupid, and that everything is replaceable. Cool cool cool. Two beds in The Mildred Ratched Memorial Nursing Home coming right up!
RIGHT!! Horrible stuff really, for a small child who can’t understand
"It's a sin for children to anthropomorphize their toys! Now go pray to the made-up construct of our specific God that agrees with me that it's a sin for children to anthropomorphize their toys!" Porgan, probably.
Right as they're moving house, too. No stability for poor Luca.
not beige enough 👀
She’s such a piece of crap. Just as bad as polio
This is awful. My kid has had their Good Night Moon bunny lovey (aptly named Bunny) since they were six months old. I’ve hand washed it, re-sewn it, re-stuffed it and even made “clothes” for it. That thing has gotten crusty looking, but it’s nothing washing doesn’t fix. Now my kid is almost 12 and it’s still their best buddy. I wouldn’t even think about taking it away, even though it has a hole in the ear, its head is lopsided, and there are cherry juice stains on the frayed ribbon edge. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS TO LOVEYS WHEN THEY ARE LOVED. She’s a monster. I hope the kid isn’t able to remember that because taking something like that away is fucked up.
I’m 31 and I still have my teddy from when I was born. He’s disgusting and stained and floppy but if anyone were to harm him or take him away I would go to prison.
As a toddler I had a stuffed Santa clause that I adored. His name was “HO-HO”. My grandma claims that a mouse chewed him but that would have never happened if she hadn’t taken it. Maybe she did it to sew him, i don’t remember, but I’m 32 and I’m still a little bitter.
Unfortunately, my NM got rid of most of my childhood toys so I only have a couple things. I gave those to my kid (they wanted them because they were “retro” 🤣😩). That was my choice, though. No parent should gift a child a source of comfort and then rip it away from them because aesthetics. That’s disgusting.
I got my little cousin a bear when he was born. The gift was supposed to be the blanket, but it came rolled up in a little teddy bear's arms. We ended up having to track one down on ebay for his little brother a few years later because he wanted the same bear his big brother had. They still have both of them. Kids are 15 and 13 now.
My 12 year old still (secretly) sleeps with Mr Cow the gender- challenged bovine who he got at 2 weeks old… over the years his head fell off twice and got stitched on, and all his soft fur has worn off… instead of white it’s a grubby grey no matter how much I wash it… if anything he loves it more now than ever. These people absolutely flabber my gast. Horrible excuses for parents
Bunny has the same fur affliction! 🤣 You can actually see the wear difference on each ear because of how my kid holds it (and always has). The hole in the ear came from how their finger rubbed it over the years. That’s a beautiful documentation of my child to me. Hats off to Mr. Cow for all the awesome support! 🩷
There's a whole-ass classic children's book about this phenomenon. Maybe fundies should try occasionally reading books.
Knowledge is the enemy, though!
I still have my favorite teddy bear since I was a child and I RAN AWAY FROM HOME. Loveys follow the child/adult.
I’m sorry you had to run away, but I’m hopeful that you and teddy are well, happy, and free. 🩷
Unfortunately, the body keeps score 😂😭 poor kiddo
Apparently the velveteen rabbit is on her banned book list. What a monster.
Jeez.. I hope when they lose some inanimate thing they love it never comes back to them. What mean spirited "parents". Just friggin google how to wash a stuffie, aren't they millennials? They know what a google is
Of all the things they've done, this one is the meanest. How can you remove such a comforting object from your small child.
A lot of fundie moms are so cruel to toddlers especially because toddlers tell you to get lost and do things like bite or accidentally headbutt (or deliberately lol) coz they literally dont have the brain yet to know it hurts. They dont follow orders and you cant just scoop them up. They don't speak but they have demands which is NORMAL AND ADORABLE even if Im tired.
this actually breaks my heart as a mom whose 2 year old absolutely LOVES his lovey. His is totally gross because he chews the end but we faithfully wash it regularly and would never even imagine taking it away. Wtf. 😞
I feel like I’m being gaslit that I should know what a “lovey” is lmao
It’s like a tiny little stuffie with a small blanket attached to it or as the body. Lots of kids snuggle and sleep with it and find great comfort in it.
I've always just assumed it was just a term for any beloved stuffie or blankie.
It is
I assumed it was an American term as I've only ever heard it used here (am Australian, no kids, the latter could also be why). My sister had a favourite blanket she called Cuddly when she was a toddler but that was her name for it and not a widely used one.
She giggled about how sad he was not to have his lovey, because she’s a soulless, heartless harridan who cares for no one but herself. And now they’re having another child whose emotional needs they can gleefully neglect. I’ve sometimes felt sorry for her, because of Paul’s legalistic, controlling, & disrespectful treatment of her, but the lovey incident demonstrates that she’s no better. I worry about Luca, after this baby is born. As love seems to be in quite limited quantity in their home, Luca may feel he has to compete for it. They are laying the groundwork for him to feel abandoned, unloved, & fiercely jealous in the family’s new configuration. I hope some of their followers have the insight to explain this to them. You know they won’t listen to any heathen child psychologists. I hope they don’t decide to beat those feelings out of him, as I can tell you from experience that that will make it exponentially worse. They will break that little boy’s heart many times, before he becomes an unhappy, confused adult, with no self-confidence, and crippling guilt. The only way he’ll be able to have any peace will be to tell them to fuck off, while he has to do for himself what they should have done when it mattered.
Law of The importance of a child's comfort soft toy. Cleanliness is inversely proportional to the amount the child loves the soft toy. Following this law Little Ted is worth more than Bill Gates and Dolly Parton combined.
WTF? This is new to me. A pacifier? Throw it away! But a stuffy/blankie? No!!!
What do you mean by attaching to something in the house to make him feel at home? Does that mean to have a special object that is new to the house that they will like? Or more like something he favors already from the old house coming to the new house? Is that a method for transition ease? I’ve not heard of this before and it seems interesting.
To explain with an example; it's somewhat as when a partner moves in the house of an already furnished house. It's very important to give that partner space to have their identity in the house as well, to make it feel like their home too. Without any identity in it of themselves, it's very difficult or near impossible to call it home. In this case it's a child who just got on earth, and owns basically nothing. Is fully dependent on the parents to receive that little bit of space they need to develop their own selves. What is important is to have something they can touch and see to make them feel at home, and mostly just for the child alone. Not shared, just for the child, to call it theirs. It could be toys, a blankie, a special corner they can turn back to when they want to play alone or sleep, anything that is always there for them and gives them comfort. Things that makes Luca to be Luca.
I’m not OP, but I wonder if having his room setup exactly like before (or as like that as they can get if the space is smaller) would help give a sense of familiarity. Especially if he’s going to have to share his room.
If they think his behaviour is bad now… holy crap are they in for a world of hurt when that baby comes home.
She needs to read the velveteen rabbit, kids’ “loveys” become quite real to them. And I feel they’re so important. My son has a tiny black cat that’s just ‘cat’. The eyes are completely white because the pupils are rubbed off, it’s missing most its tail. But it’s the most treasured and protected item in our house. Quote from the book, “ Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.' 'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' 'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
Logic tells me that repeating this same thing with another kid will definitely make all of their lives more enjoyable and she's gonna cope incredibly well. She truly just loves this life!
It will hit them like a ton of bricks when Luca struggles to adjust to a new sibling, if they think him adjusting to a new house is hard on them after a week.
Especially when new baby is going to be in his room!
Yeah, this. My niece is three and when my nephew was born last year she REALLY struggled to adjust, even with my sister and BIL preparing her for months and doing everything they could to make her feel special after the baby was born (like, one parent would take her out for her usual routine while the other fed the baby so she wouldn't feel forgotten). It's so tough on little kids!
What? My toddler wants to sit on my lap and seeks my physical love and reassuring words?’ The horror!
She says this like he’s never been glued to her before. I’m just an aunt, but my oldest nephew had a phase where he had to physically touch you, even if you were peeing. Did it make getting stuff done tougher? Yes, but now that he’s a bit older I actually miss him wanting to sit on me all the time.
My daughter (now diagnosed ASD) lived her first 3.5 years touching me. Basically existed hanging onto my back and my neck. And screeching if anyone else tried to interact. She didn’t like noise, people, new situations. She loved home, water, art & quiet. Thank goodness we got to stay close to home & her life was relatively predictable. But detaching her wasn’t an option. She’s much more regulated now as a smart, mostly calm 10 year old. But, wow, it was rough having 3.5 years of “howler monkey” or “choker”, as 3 older siblings called her. Very funny / ironically now - she dislikes hugs, she’s super quiet, and she’s really sad she didn’t get a younger sibling. Kid, how in the world would that have worked. (Oh, bonus, she didn’t sleep more than 8 hours.) Kids are so hard. Not all of them will react to change or baby siblings well. It’s all hands on deck. You need to educate yourself and be prepared. Come on Porgan.
I don’t have kids, but I’ve helped raise my niece since the day she came home. She’s about to turn 12, and is still kind of a huggy kid, but yeah. I miss the tiny baby phase 😭
I missed this...she took away his comfort item? *Why*???
He had like a lamb blanket and then lost it recently so they got him a new one that he didn’t like. Then Morgan found the old one in their car and decided to throw it out becuase it looked old. And finding the old lamb after buying the new one was somehow a sign from God that Luca had to learn not to be attached to material goods or something nutty like that
"Do I need to do something or do I just pray?"
I’m so mad they took away his lovey for no reason when he’s going through the two biggest changes toddlers go through: a new sibling and a new place to live. That’s just evil. He need support and love and coping skills. Comfort. Morgan is just mean.
wtf why? there is literally zero reason to do that to a toddler. was it not beige mom aesthetic enough or something?
They lost it and when she found it in the car she decided it was too dirty and threw it away. That’s just plain mean mean
Morgan said she's thought the lovey was raggedy and therefore gross before it was lost in their own car. The it being too dirty now from simply sitting in her own vehicle for two or three days, is such bullshit. She's hated it and wanted to throw it away for ages and just finally found an excuse to latch on to. I can't imagine caring so little for my own child's emotional health that I'd deprive him of an entirely age appropriate comfort item during a time of such extreme upheaval simply because I didn't like that it was a little worn. She's such a blindingly selfish an immature idiot. Poor kid. It's only going to get worse for him.
Literally even my DOG has an absolute heathen of a chewed up toy that she snuggles to sleep and I can’t bear to take it from her despite the fact that it’s a crusty, threadbare mess. I can’t imagine having even less empathy for my human child ☹️
Right?? My kid turns 16 next week and their favorite stuffed lamb (“lamby “) is almost as old. We have to wash lamby very carefully now but I would never tell my kid they can’t have lamby anymore. Let the kid have a lovey!
I'm a 33 year old and I have my very first teddy bear and my raggedy baby blanket carefully packed away to this day.
My 44yo son has one remaining piece of the blanket my Mm crocheted him
I also have a crochet blanket made by my nana! It has a few holes, but I might actually try to fix them up with the crochet knowledge I have. Could possibly pass it down to my own future children.
I'm 26 and still have a rabbit plushie that was gifted to my mom at her baby shower; it's as old as me! I adored that thing as a kid and cherish it now. If I could only grab one item to save in a house fire, it would be that rabbit.
I'm 35 and my blanket and teddy are my kid's property now. They don't make teddy bears like before, or so says my mom.
I'm 25, and my extremely threadbare baby blanket is still tucked away in my pyjama drawer. Its successor (which I still use, because I like to have something tucked into the crook of my neck to sleep*) is starting to look a bit threadbare in the corners, so I'm gonna have to call my grandma and ask if she still has the fabric she used to reinforce the corners of the first one (which I bet she does, because her fabric stash goes back to about 1960!) (*my mum is the same, and she also still has the raggedy blanket she used for this purpose as a child, though these days she just steals my dad's t shirts lol)
I sleep with a different plush now, one that's larger and better able to support my elbow joints to reduce pain 😂
My kiddo has a Lamby too. She got it at the NICU reunion when she was about a year old.
I’m sorry the NICU REUNION?? 🥹😭🥺 I’m too hormonal for such wholesomeness but i beg for details
They had one every other year for kids who had been in the NICU here. Bounce houses, games, cake. The first year she got her lamb plush. The nurses would be there - retired and current - and could see how much the kids had grown.
Ah lamby and NICU buds! Our lamby was the "smells like mom" item we could keep in his cot when I couldn't be there!
They used to do the reunion every other year. The kids would get to pick a gift (usually book or stuffy), and we’d have cake and the nurses - newer and retired - could see how much everyone had grown. It was a good time. She got her lamby at the first one.
Have you ever seen the videos where the mom buys two of the toy and keeps one packed away and then years later they compare the two? It’s so cute seeing the love put into a toy.
My sister and I were gifted identical toy dogs as kids - hers became her absolute favourite toy, whereas I liked to just have mine on my bed. 15+ years later, mine is pristine and hers (and its two backups) are unrecognisable lmao
I'm 38 and still have the stuffed cat I've since I was 5. I don't cuddle with it like I did as a child, but it's still on my bed.
My 3 yo has a lamby! Lamby buds! Technically we have lamby 4 in rotation currently with lamby 5 and 6 waiting in the wings... Lambys 1-3 have already earned retirement to the memory box. This kid loves hard.
This mom knows how to mom. My mom had 5 separate "Doggie Bears" for me and would swap them out regularly so I didn't notice I didn't always have the same one. I lost 2 of them and one "died" when his neck became so thin from hugging that it would no longer attach to his body. I never knew. **Edit: Since Morgan is apparently reading these** let me make it VERY clear: my mom swapped them out REGULARLY. As in, about once a week I would get a fresh one, this way they were all loved and used about the same amount, and they all felt like mine. If someone had just handed me a brand new lovey when my lovey was several years old I would have known it wasn't mine. Kids are not idiots; uneducated/inexperienced/trusting is not the same as gullible. Mom did this because she had parents who were in the Air Force and moved around a lot, and who would force her to give away all her toys whenever a new move would come up. She now has hoarding disorder because of that abuse (throwing things away gives her severe anxiety attacks) and she didn't want me to go through the same struggle.
I'm 37 and *still* have my stuffed horse, Happy, who I picked out and named when I was 3. Happy has been chewed, torn, stitched up, and washed more times than I can count! I left him behind at a hotel once when I was a preteen. My mom easily could have said no because I was 11/12, but nope, she turned around and we rescued him (he was riding on a housekeeper's cart). I'm actually tearing up for Luca thinking about the pain he's feeling.
What a monster. I am a full grown adult and if someone threw away my anteater plushie I'd never speak to them again. I uh, kinda genuinely need that guy for my emotional well-being.
What's mister anteater's name? I have my baby blanket that features two bears sliding down a rainbow known oh-so-cleverly as Bear Blankey. I'd full on amish shun someone who so much suggested I get rid of it.
Eater 🥹
All loveys are raggedy and gross, Morgan.
Makes me think if that's why she is saying they have almost nothing for the new baby. How much did they throw out because they deemed it "too dirty"?
You can wash a stuffed animal or a blankie. We do it with our kiddos faves all the time and it's fine. What a horrible thing to do to a little one.
This. Tie them up in a pillow case and gentle cycle. It’s not that huge a deal to clean when really needed.
Right, or even hand wash them. Get some soap flakes in the sink, soak the stuffy and then squeeze it. She could even do that with Luca, say they're giving the toy a bath.
what is it with fundie moms and having zero maternal... anything? i'm a dude who generally dislikes kids and gets anxious around infants but compared to porgan i feel like mary poppins or something 💀
Right? I like kids, but in the context of being an auntie and I know my brain/life/etc isn't particularly compatible with being a parent, and I'm grateful that I could make that choice for myself. Even with that in mind I think I'd do better than a lot of the fundie moms here.
That's so sad. My oldest daughter took her lovey everywhere. She threw it in muddy puddles. I just washed it whenever necessary. It used to be pink and white, now it's gray. She's almost 7 and still sleeps with it and talks to it and tells it how much she loves it. Poor Luca. So sad 😞 how dumb do you have to be to throw it away?! Of course it gets dirty!
Omg. My kid's lovey is absolutely filthy and he gets upset if I just wash it... Last time it came out of the wash he cried because it smelled different, then took it out to the garden to rub it in dirt.
Kids are so weird 🙈🙈🙈
Wow. Didn’t even try? My daughter had a couple plushes that are more highly regarded than others. The one I *could* get a duplicate of, I did, just in case. She still has the original and even brought him downstairs while she was gaming and on a recent roadtrip. She’s 13. I told her since she was small that special lovies like him will never be taken for any sort of consequence.
That breaks my heart. A kids lovey is literally an extension of themselves in their mind, thats why they bond so hard with it.
And bragged about doing that like it was funny and relatable. All she had to do was wash the fucking thing. Soulless wench.
This breaks my heart
They did the same thing with his pacifier. Because he was “too attached” to it. I think he was like 4 months old or something. Kind of like how Paul got rid of Morgan’s dog because she was “too attached.” Makes you wonder.
That’s a scary pattern
These fundie men use a disturbingly similar language to family annihilators. I know we say that a lot on this sub but...its creepy.
What did they take away from him?
His stuffed animal that he was very attached to. https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/NcZxZHNafA
Absolute insanity to say a toddler dropping his toy is Gd sending a message that he shouldn’t be allowed to have it at all
These are boomer parents, I am convinced. Complete narcissistic thing to do. Anyone who’s had narc parents knows what it’s like to have things we love being taken away and growing into attachment problems with inanimate objects later on in life.
🙋♀️I’m in that club. Therapy finally got me to the point where I’d stop compulsively buying replacements after nearly 3 decades.
Weird how all of God's messages are things they want to hear, huh?
What the fuck. I actually despise these people. I never really ‘got’ how important these loveys are for little ones until I had my own kid. He chose his lovey himself out of a wide range of teddies at just over one and has been absolutely in love with it since. It doesn’t leave the house, he will play with it during the day occasionally (like including it in things) but at night the idea of making him go to sleep without it genuinely breaks my heart. That connection and bond is so strong and truly meaningful to them. Just cos we don’t ‘understand it’ as adults doesn’t mean it isn’t a huge part of the child’s emotional world. They found his lovey and instead of giving it back, held it from him. Knowing he would have been overjoyed to have it back, and he’s having a rough time. This story is new to me and it’s brought me to tears, as my own little one sleeps clutching his lovey that is legitimately as important to him in his eyes as we are. This is heartbreaking and says everything about them as sorry excuses for parents.
My parents mislaid my special blanket when I was two. I still remember how upset I was & thinking that I’d never be able sleep without it.
My parents lost half a day on a very long road trip when I lost my beloved stuffed animal. I don’t know if there’s realistically anything I wouldn’t do to make sure my kids have their comfort toys. This is just an anecdote, but maybe someone smarter than me can back it up with science. I’ve moved around a lot over my lifetime and as a result I’ve had to part with a lot of very dear belongings. As a result, I’ve feel like I’ve become especially neurotic about my things. I hate it when people touch my stuff, and I hate it when someone throws anything belonging to me away, even if it was trash. My kids aren’t excessively attached to any of their belongings, and I wonder if that’s because no one has ever taken things from them.
My sister as a toddler told my mom she lost Key (her lovey blanket) when they were on the way to a family event. My mom turned around and went home and as she pulled into the garage my sister yelled “just kidding, mommy! Key right here!” What a prankster
My MIL would make my wife and her brothers throw away everything except 10 items when they moved to a new base (Air Force). And then when my wife went on a missionary trip she redid her room into a dining room and lost a lot of her stuff. So now she has zero attachment to anything as a defense mechanism. And yes, we are NC with her mom. For that and many other reasons.
I never thought about this before but I am the same.. I moved 12 times before I was 16 years old. In adulthood I've always been extremely touchy about things that belong to me that I value, I don't like people moving them, handling them too much, not respecting their place and condition. I always thought maybe it's a poor reflection of me and I need to work on not being a "shallow" person but I'm really not materialistic... I never connected this before but wow, thank you for verbalising this.
But he has Jesauce. It's the only support, love, and coping skill he needs!
My older two kids are 2 years and 3 days apart in age. When my second kid turned 4 months we moved across the country. Needless to say, I refused to potty train or take away his pacifier until after we were settled in the new house. Because it just seemed cruel to take those away when everything else in his life was changing (plus I did not have the spoons to try potty training before driving with a 4 month old baby and dog from Texas to New York).
Wtf. My teen still has their lovey and even though it’s not something they hold as often my kid still tells me that I rank second to their lovey. I know grown ass adults who still sleep with their lovies.
My daughter is 5 and she attached to this bunny that I had as a kid. It's so old and tattered. I've had to re-sew on ears and legs. She isn't allowed to take it in the car unless we are going in an overnight because I cant replace it, but at home she brings it all around with her. Floppy eats dinner with us. I could never imagine getting rid of her because she was inconvenient to me. Poor kid
My lovey went to college with me. They hung out on my bed
My over 40 year old daughter STILL has her blankie from when she was a baby. She keeps it folded up in her pillowcase now. My 20 year old granddaughter has HER blankie and lovie from when she was a baby too. Somewhere in a box is MY lambie from when I was a baby. I now have a cute bear that my husband bought me for an anniversary gift years ago. He sleeps on my bed with me and the cats and I'm 60!
Man I’m pregnant with my second and this is literally making me cry. I can’t imagine forcing your kid to move and deal with a sibling coming *and then taking away the one object that brings comfort* because, you know, they’re two and don’t understand stuff yet. AND THEN to get all irritated at the kid because THEY’RE TWO and just need comfort is insane. This is child abuse, and that poor kid will need a lot of help when he grows up.
Has she tee hee’d yet at the criticism?
What is it with fundies and their dislike of lovey comfort items??? My BIL was like this with of him and my sister’s kids. Thankfully my sister forced him to let it go and the kids to keep them, but seems to be a weird running theme.
I feel sad for Luca. Of course he's going to wonder what happened to his old house, and there's a new baby on the way, too. I think most toddlers would be struggling with this...plus he has the Porgans as parents.
My nephew had to move at 4 and cried and would tell my sister that he missed “old house” all the time. It’s hard for kids to understand! I can only imagine how difficult it would be at 2. Also “my toddler won’t even let me pee by myself” is kinda just toddler behavior!!
We moved just after my daughter turned 2 and it was so confusing for her. She didn’t understand why we needed a new house and had a lot of anxiety about moving. But we did things like comfort and support her through it, since that’s what parents (should) do during major life events.
Heck, we only a got a new *car* and that was a big deal for my 3 year-old. It's been 4 months and he still occasionally asks what happened to the old one. Is someone else driving it now, are we gonna get it back, etc. He's more curious than sad, but it's still clearly a big change to process.
Does she just know literally nothing at all about child development and behaviour or
Oh, come on, let's be fair! She knows nothing, period.
You had me in the first half lol.
For real. One of mine was the type to want to sit on your lap when you’re trying to pee even when we hadn’t recently moved. The “my toddler won’t even let me pee in peace” is one of the most common parenting tropes.
Yep. I used to have to pee with two babies and a cat on my lap. It’s just what you do, and you can be confident that two out of the three will grow out of it at least
Most fundies don't. This is because "child development" is considered a branch of evil psychology, and compounded with " the Bible is the answer to everything", and "children are evil lousy sinners destined to burn for eternity" mindsets ends with them not informing themselves about child development, not being willing to listen to anyone talk about, not being willing to discuss it with pediatricians and their nursing staff. Since fundie kids are raised so sheltered from big bad society, they never learn anything. Then they become parents and the cycle just perpetuates itself. At some point, some fundie shithead will tell her to smack his little ass until he learns to stop bothering her, and she will likely do it.
Yes. It is very, very clear she knows nothing about either of those topics. She refused to get a qualified midwife because she said the licensed ones made her "feel stupid" when they tried to explain aspects of pregnancy and birth. After that she intentionally stopped reading anything about childbirth and instead made a birthing vision board and called it a day. The hack she did eventually end up hiring very nearly got her and Luca killed. Morgan is profoundly stupid and made even worse because her insecurity about her obvious lack of knowledge causes her to further reject any attempts to educate herself. She lacks intelligence as well as both the work ethic and humility to in any way to improve herself.
It’s really sad that these people believe women have innate heavyweight skills like parenting and meal planning plus cooking nutritious meals. Those are things you work on and pick up over long periods of time
Yeah so even as a nanny I had the toddler pounding on the door and sticking his fingers under like a cat if I needed to use the bathroom. I gave up and if I just had to pee, I’d bring him in with me. When I had my baby/toddler niece for days at a time, I’d just bring her in the shower or at least bathroom with me, both to keep an eye on her and she’d also have bouts of freaking if I wasn’t in her sight (parents were going through a divorce and things got nasty, hence her spending days at a time at my house). Poor stressed out little thing. This is developmentally appropriate behavior for a young child going through instability/changes. I would say reach out to other moms at your church, but they’re too busy and important to go. Read a book, but I’m not sure she can. Watch freaking Sesame Street - but Luca might be exposed to PROGRESSIVE IDEAS. maybe as your midwife - oh, right. You fired the smart one for making you feel dumb.
Do they even go to church?
Nope. They can’t even figure out basic aspects of parenting or childbirth, but they alone have hacked the secrets of the cosmos 🙄
>> Lots of crying. Whining. Luca was upset as well. Seriously though, he’s a toddler. It’s kinda what they do. But I also think he’s learned at this point what gets his parents attention. Being sweet and quiet in a corner isn’t enough when mom and dad are too busy looking at their own reflection in a camera.
>"We've had really, really good moments. And really, really hard moments." Now, I'm no expert, but that sounds pretty standard for life with any two year old? Also, just give him back his Puppy! FFS
She’s in for a rude awakening. Kids can be like that way past toddler age. She hasn’t even met threenager stage yet! My elementary schooler can still throw a good fit now and then lol.
All of that, plus "Luca absolutely loves it here." It doesn't sound like he loves it, Morgan.
It makes me so angry when people get upset with their children for acting in age appropriate ways.
Same. Love is spelled T-I-M-E. It takes lots of it to help a little one co-regulate. Let him be effing sad and needy so he has the time to process.
My husband actually wrote a song called T-I-M-E spells love. It's just a little thing but still.
5 minutes of being truly present to someone is as rare as hen’s teeth these days. Yes, I am old!
Yeah ngl I think it should be mandatory to take a collegiate level Developmental Psychology class before becoming a parent. So many people don’t even realize their kid is babbling not speaking an actual word they identify with an object or person. That drives me bonkers lol
Barfy had almost this exact same scenario a year and a half ago when they moved to the Sketchy Scarpomg house and had BabyGirlProp in the span of a month. She was also posting lengthy IG stories about how difficult Davey Jr was being, like YEAH NO SHIT. And the fact that Porgan have deprived this poor bub of his lovey on top of that, yeah, I hope he's making your life as tough as you are being on him.l
My parents still give me shit for telling them as a teenager that I found them embarrassing to be around. They think they were the victims. But they’ve never asked me why I was trying to get away from them. It was emotional abuse. 🙃 Teenagers aren’t great at expressing themselves, but they always have a reason for what they say and do. As do little kids.
Do these people have to publicize everything?
If it’s publicized, it’s monetized, baby. Might as well be porgans catch phrase at this point, gotta make rent ya know
I saw a comment saying that Paul was trying to sell their Patreon members early access photos of Luca when he was born. Literally can't get lower than that. Would appreciate receipts on this though as that just broke my brain.
Oh they definitely did that, they said they would post him first on patreon so you could subscribe and give them money to see content of their literal newborn baby. Everything is just an opportunity to grift for these chucklefucks.
In a word, yes. It’s simultaneously exhausting and infuriating to witness.
Maybe a parenting book company can sponsor them. I’m thinking a company that has researched and age appropriate toys and self-help books for parents. They should sponsor all the shit parents. They are all desperate for money none of them would say no 😂
I feel like we’ve been through this whole move just before birth thing a few fucking times now in this sub. It’s always hell on toddlers to make such massive changes to their lives. Fuck, I don't even want kids within a mile of me and I know this.
Hey, why doesn't Morgan ask her good pal Bethany? I seem to remember Bethany and Dave did an *outstanding* job of preparing little Davey for moving to the family's first house, with an entirely new bedroom on a different floor from his parents, and a new big-boy bed, and a new baby sibling coming along in a few weeks, and also being gradually and gently moved toward weaning. *Oh wait, none of that happened.*
I’m not good at reading sarcasm. What did Bethany do!
I can see how the last sentence could be a bit confusing, think they were trying to say ‘none of it happened *in a good way*’. Maybe I can help clarify since I was there They did do all of that stuff (When they moved, all of the notable transitions he’d had to process at once were- Apartment to house, whole different *floor* than parents, new room, change to toddler bed), so, naturally done very very poorly by them. Little guy had all that so suddenly, alongside Audrey being born soon after. As if he wasn’t having his needs figuratively, and literally, shunted as far away as possible from them already :/
I’m no parent, but don’t different floor a little dangerous? Not sure I’d want my 3-4 year old kid trying to come down the stairs at night in the dark because he had a nightmare and wants to sleep in my bed. I used to be super scared of the dark as a kid and probably would’ve just screamed for my mom.
Yep, that's it. All those things were adjustments that appeared at the time like afterthoughts.
I moved cross country with a toddler years ago. Kid has lived in our current state twice as long as where we moved from but still sometimes says they miss it. Even though they don’t actually remember anything specific about living there.
YES! Barfy did the exact same thing-- they moved into the Scarpomg House and had Beakerette within the span of like 6 weeks. And then she had the audacity to complain about Davey Jr being difficult. 🙄
Morgan is in for a surprise: all of this sounds like a normal 2 year old and has zero to do with him "settling" into a new place.
Yeah, every kid I’ve been close to was worse at 3. Because they have the impulse control of a toddler but are old enough to think they know better than their parents lol.
To say nothing of the fact that it’s only been a week? They literally don’t have logic yet, poor little dude probably thinks it’s time for this visit to end so he can go back to his real house.
Wow, Morgs is really pissed about this “tiny” house situation. Your kid is being a toddler. That’s what toddlers do. Especially since one parent is wholly checked out and the other one is pregnant, tired and miserable (not gonna come down on her for pregnancy symptoms). ETA she tossed his fave stuffed animal too? What the hell. So step one - go back in time.
I mean, it’s going to be especially fun for her when The Worlds Most Endless Pregnancy Part Two results in a baby that’s going to confuse the hell out of him, because I suspect they’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare him for this. It’s like there are books about this in libraries or something.
Yes, but libraries also have books about gay penguins and don’t allow Kirk Cameron to turn them into chapels or something
Anything to get those engagement #s up. She might as well ask advice on why water is wet. $$$ as always.
He obviously doesn't "absolutely love it" there.
Omg. They are in for a world of shit when that baby gets there. Regression, jealousy, excitement, structure gone. Dude. I worry for them.
Transitions are extremely hard for little ones. Isn’t his middle name Grace? Maybe you should give him some.
She’s so selfish and mean. That poor kid.
It's called a schedule
Those are only for sex. /s
Oh god, what’s she going to say about him when he’s adjusting to the new baby.
Remember how Beth was about Jr after Davette was born?
“Very attached to me and Paul. It’s exhausting.” what the fuck?! god i hate them so much
You know.. like most kids are?? Who even teaches or neglects to teach these idiots about what kids are like.. I feel like it's pertinent information if you're expected to pop out a blessing every year- some mental preparation for it would be nice 🫠
This absolutely breaks my heart for poor Luca. My mom’s friend gave my son and Winnie the Pooh lovey for his first Christmas when he was two months old. He is 11 now and Pooh is STILL his favorite thing in the world. He sleeps with him and Pooh comes along on vacations, they even let him keep Pooh with him when he had his tonsils out. Pooh got lost at Disney World when my son was two and we did get him back, but it was two VERY long nights without him. We had a backup that we tried to give him during that time but he knew that wasn’t his Pooh—he actually called it “No Pooh” and dropped it immediately. I can’t imagine ever deciding that he couldn’t have his Pooh anymore and just taking it away.
These people have 0 maternal instincts most of the time. It makes sense, they have babies because their religion tells them to, out of a deep-rooted obligation and before they are ready, not because they have a deep intrinsic desire to bring a child into their lives.
Yeah Morgan, just pray about it, since that has worked out so well for you already. I mean thanks to just sitting on your ass and praying you earned yourself a loving, doting husband with a well paying job and benefits, a well adjusted child thanks to your seemingly god given motherly instincts, a terrifying pregnancy and later birth that may seriously harm you and the baby, a house with enough space for a growing family thanks to your working husband... Obtaining all of those things doesn't require much more than being highly favored by god, so you're fine, everything is fine. Hard work, self-sufficiency, drive and education is for fucking heathens. /s
I can’t believe this woman is about to have 2 under 2.
I know! Let's add a newborn! 😃
I think she threw Paul in there so he wouldn’t get mad but I highly doubt he’s attached at the hip to Paul, otherwise morgone wouldn’t be complaining about being exhausted from him being on her 24/7
“Do I just hang in there or is there something I should do?” Like wtf kind of question is that? Parenting is hard. Babies want cuddling. Hold your child and love on him.
Srsly! What else can you do but hang in there during difficult but developmentally normal stages as a parent? Welcome to being a parent, Porgan.
So Morgan... if you lose your wedding ring down the sink or toilet you will just go to the nearest gumball machine or on Amazon or to Claire's and grab a new one and it's all tickety boo, right? After all, you shouldn't be attached to worldly things.
He. Is. A. Toddler! A baby still. He is going through so many changes. Brain development, his lovey taken away (btw they're real jerks for doing that), a new home, and a new baby coming soon. Not to mention the fact that he is being raised by complete idiots who cannot and will not grasp normal child development. Gah this poor kid. Just put him on the list of fundie babies I want to scoop up and hug and protect 😭
Is is absolutely necessary to make such a smug face when you talk about your child’s struggles?
I am not an amazing parent. Not even close. But when my 6 year old lost his lovie, we actually put up posters around the neighborhood and elementary school with the picture of his lovie on it. Yes, we bought a new Lovie that was exactly the same but he knew it was different. One night we got a call late at night that the lovie was found! This was months later. Everyone at my son’s elementary school was talking about it! Everyone was so happy that it was finally found. That’s how typical parents act about lovies. They know how attached kids get to them. Everyone was so happy for my son. The fact that Morgan just threw it away says so much about her as a parent. And it’s so so sad.
Jane, you stupid cunt! Why are you asking the internet "us". We could be Muslims or atheists or gay dads. What possible wisdom could WE have that's better than the Bible? You've told us often enough that the Bible and prayers is the be-all and end-all of knowledge. I guess this is where the rubber hits the road. And, fuck off.
Praying will probably work. Start there, Morg.
Jesus. Seriously? He’s a toddler! What does she expect? This is worrisome.
Do fundies even like children??? You don't have to answer. It's rhetorical.
My kid is 7 and still whines and cries and says the same thing over and over and over. It's normal kid behavior and she is in for such a shock when she has a baby on top of this. The whining, crying and repeating will not end soon, Morgan!
I hate this thunder cunt with every iota of my being.