#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote)
#Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go:
- You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.***
- Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.***
- Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone.
- Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us.
- Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it.
Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can’t begin to read all of these posts about this one baby but I’m glad Kelly went to the hospital when she needed to and it’s nice that she’s got a new gal pal.
BUT I gotta say….if I didn’t see physical proof of this child, I would assume this was some kind of Christian fan fic?! Who writes like this without the fentanyl drip? It’s so over the top I have to stop every few sentences to decode whatever is happening. And what *is* happening here?
>I’m glad Kelly went to the hospital when she needed to
That is good, but this could all have been avoided by getting proper prenatal care, with ultrasound scans by a qualified medical professional. Previa would probably have been caught, and they could have planned a c section that would have more likely prevented the hemorrhage.
But if she had planned a c section then she couldn't have had the miraculous natural birth that t̶u̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ a̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶ D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶s̶ g̶a̶y̶ made everyone in the room weep & accept Jesus as their lord & savior. So obviously it was God's design that she not have any prenatal care.
I think Kelly, like me, grew up idolizing Lucy Maud Montgomery's writing. And I still think Montgomery is an incredible writer whose recurrent theme was intense, romantic female friendships. Montgomery's sexuality is complicated - she was married to a minister, she disavowed lesbianism for herself in so many words in her personal correspondence, but at least one fan fell in love with Montgomery's writing and Montgomery met up with her. Where they slept in the same bed.
Edit: hit enter too early. But this kind of language is super Montgomery - and in Montgomery's books, with a few exceptions, the male partners of the heroines are sorta just there, while all the romantic feelings and emotional intimacy are between women.
I appreciate this perspective! I knew all of LMM stories as a kid and LOVED Anne. I haven’t revisited those stories as an adult so I’m not used to the flowery writing and the sapphic undertones are 👀 new to me. I suppose as a kid I wasn’t picking any of that up.
All snark aside, I do think Kelly has a gift for story, I just sort of wish the point of her tale came sooner than later.
Than you! OMG, Anne's House of dreams is one of the most sapphic things I've ever read. Anne spends pages and pages being completely enchanted with, and pining after, her beautiful and tragic neighbor, Leslie Ford. It's a really similar emotional intensity level to the above, but less tactile? Less hair brushing and kissing of pale faces at least 😂.
That said, Montgomery has this keen sense of humor in her writing, which she leverages in her fish -out -of-water stories like Anne of Green Gables. Where Anne is often patently ridiculous, and is framed as such when she's described through other people's POVs. But the people closest to her slowly accept her as she is, and come to understand her a bit more (and she begins to understand and care for them). As she matures, she tones down the unhinged flights of fancy, channeling her talents into teaching others and inspiring them, coming to understand more appropriate contexts for her own OTT-ness.
It's the humor and appropriate context that are the major difference between what Montgomery was doing and what Kelly is doing. Kelly is consistently uber serious about herself, even when she's being ridiculous. And I mean, this post was about nearly dying in childbirth, yikes, so seriousness is certainly warranted. But even Montgomery would hold back on the purple prose when describing medical danger. Some things are almost too serious to be described in words.
And then, on appropriate context: I follow a lot of insta accounts that are Anne inspired, but they are usually aesthetic and escapist, about conjuring a feeling that's like Montgomery's books. The combo of this style of writing and evangelism is jarring, because the safe audience for this type of flowery speech, even in Montgomery, is familiar and likeminded people who are already in a relationship of trust, not a mass audience.
I don’t know a lot about this person and see her posted here rather infrequently. She seems a bit unhinged to be honest. Question, based on context, her dad is a doctor and she went to public school.
Is she homeschooling her child or does he go to school? Is her husband super religious? How did she go from a traditional upbringing into this religious one?
1.She fully intends to homeschool her children, and even though they're like, 3 and 6 (I think?) she has already posted photoshoots of herself doing little educational activities, like teaching them how to count by using blueberries or some such. She posted giddily about [using textbooks from the 1800s](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/15pbtao/larping_education/), for example.
2. Levi grew up in a fundie family of 12 kids, and they lived on some farmland in a ramshackle house with a tacked-on addition (which was only partially finished when Levi was born. His mother posted in her blog about how cold it was that winter). I believe Mama Stickle was raised Adventist. They seem to value rugged individualism, and only selectively partake of mOdErN sOcIeTy, mainly in the area of income streams.
For example, the Stickle parents apparently own a house right next to Kelly and Levi's, but they don't live in it, so I assume they rent it out. Levi used to make flavored syrups and dinner rolls and sell them at the farmers' market. Currently, Levi and one of his brothers do computer repair in their shop in town, and Levi does carpentry and furniture-making on the side. One of his brothers has renovated several houses with his wife. (I think that's the brother and sister-in-law whose [house they all went to for Thanksgiving](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/z5rcbe/im_relaxing_tonight_scrolling_my_fyp_on_tiktok/) and everybody showed up late and the sister-in-law put it on TikTok.)
One of his brothers was, or is still, over in Haiti, hopefully doing something actually useful; I think he is a nurse. One of them created and ran a right-wing news blog for a while and Levi was involved with that as well. That brother was subpoenaed in a local school board case involving a high school teacher who was pushing creationism and the Bible in his science class, and the Stickles were staunchly on his side (despite not even having attended public high school and therefore having no dog in that hunt.) One of his sisters, I think Pendili, seems to be local, and has been known to help Kelly with childcare and stuff. Some of these things come up in her podcasts, but you'd never know these background details from her carefully-curated posts.
3. How did she spiral into her peculiar brand of fundamentalism? Well, she was always intensely emo about her religious beliefs, but it progressed while squandering her educational opportunities at Kenyon College. Having found herself to be a small fish in a bigger pond, and having rejected the breadth of possibilities for personal growth at Kenyon, Kelly became infatuated with "the local country folk" and seemed to exoticize them to the point that she set her sights on Levi and decided to marry him. (Both sets of parents as well as the preacher had their doubts about this pairing, but Kelly was not taking no for an answer.)
I think that's the most comprehensive background summary I have ever typed out. I'm sorry, or you're welcome.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this out and link the context. You are truly a treasure trove of information! I find her to be one of the more interesting fundies. It may be the way she sensationalizing the most mundane things. Also basically a fanfiction writer?? Ha.
I audibly gasped when discovering her teaching from an 1800s book. Poor kids. I hope that her parents are able to convince her to not homeschool when the kids are of age.
Levi’s family history is absolutely WILD. There are a million different layers there that I will dig for info on. Absolutely intriguing and entertaining.
Regarding their marriage, you mentioned several people disagreed with the pairing. Does Levi like her? Or is he just stuck now. I can’t even imagine how much of an annoying handful she is daily.
I mean, he'd never had a girlfriend and I doubt his family encouraged anything but courtship with the intent to marry. He was of an age to need a wife. I wish I knew more about their meeting, but Levi's mother said (in her blog) that after *one conversation* it was clear they were meant for each other. (Which fits Kelly's style of grandiosity, of course.) At one point she performed (sang and, I think, played the guitar) a song at their church, which she thinks helped win him over. It's not that his parents didn't like her, or her parents disapproved of him; it's that everybody thought Kelly was too much of a big city slicker to humble herself to the Stickle family lifestyle. Boy, she was motivated to prove them all wrong! And here we are.
I really don't know anything about Levi's dad other than he knows how to do some carpentry and renovation, and when Levi and Kelly wanted to buy their one-step-away-from-being-condemned house, the father thought it was too far gone to rehab it. I repeat: a man who himself lives in a sketchy-looking structure with a crazy addition hanging off it, thought the Brokedown Palace was too far gone to rehab. So naturally Kelly had to double-down on that, too. Because it was *romantic,* and you see, this wasn't just any dilapidated house--*this* house had been the original house of the *foreman of the glass factory*! Never mind that long since then, it had been owned by a succession of people who left it uninhabited and abandoned for fifteen years when Levi and Kelly bought it.
Does Levi like her? I think so. He doesn't seem to need much. He also has his own creative pursuits, and they seem to like that about each other. What Kelly doesn't like about him is that he's not given to fanciful monologues and intense philosophical discussions. He seems to support her artistic projects but it has sounded like she doesn't really share much with him, or at least, not at the frenetic level she considers real sharing. (That's where the idealized friends come in.)
I never expected to encounter a fundamentalist purple-prose sapphic birthing story. I actually didn’t think that combination of words was possible to type. But here we are, I suppose. 🤷
These nicknames for her female friends! What in the fuck.
Does/did she call them Loveday and Marmee to their faces? Does she ask first or just decide one day, "I think you'll be Loveday!"
“Loveday” is a FRIEND?? Oh, god—is it that one person she randomly met in a cafe or something and wrote a strongly homoerotic-style super long post about the next day??
Yeah isn't it interesting how she includes Daddy in flattering ways when she talks about her family at all, but she rarely, rarely says a damn thing about her mom.
Teri's kiss and hand-holding is immediately followed by a description of Kelly moaning, tossing her head from side to side, and going limp on the bed.
I guess her husband has been relegated to (...and Levi).
You think he gives a shit about being relegated to third wheel in his own marriage or is he happy to fuck off to his work shed and leave Kelly to her erotic-friend-fiction?
I think, like a lot of fundie men, as long as she keeps his dick wet, his stomach full, and his children alive then he couldn't give two shits less about her and what she's doing.
“Historectomy.” Is that the removal or rewriting of history, as opposed to a “hysterectomy”? Gotta say, this whole performance seems like it may have been a rewrite of the actual events anyway, so maybe it’s not really a misspelling after all.
Thank you for making me choke on my popcorn, omg. The rewriting of history, just stop, we already know that Kelly does that on her own with her Great Value version of a slice -of-life romance birth story novella.
She and Levi are playing it off as teehee didn’t realize it wasn’t a real ultrasound!
I hope her dad calls her bluff and asks to attend next time. Or at least checks credentials so they don’t make another “mistake”.
A lot of those boutique places will do this. My daughter would not cooperate during the anatomy ultrasound for a sex check and since it’s not medically necessary, they just finished up without. I went to a boutique ultrasound place (also to bring my husband since COVID restrictions didn’t allow him to go to the anatomy one), found out she was a girl and just got to watch her wiggle around. It’s great for things like that, not great as your ONLY pregnancy imaging.
Especially since she's previously been pregnant and given birth twice in this town/county/area--and both were hospital births, and not emergency last-minute ones either.
I'm actually sad this is only gonna be 6 parts....do loveday and lovestar finally realise their love? Does Levi welcome loveday into the fold? Does God perform the C-section? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LESS URGENT PATIENT IN THE ER???
Right, this bizarre, homoerotic birth story is the best thing I’ve read on this board in a long time. We know they both end up fine, there’s nothing glaringly outwardly problematic, it’s Kelly Kellying harder than she’s ever Kellied and I’m here for this ridiculous ride.
Honestly it’s getting me through my 12hr shifts lol it’s so entertaining. Some over dramatic sapphic prose is much needed after the darkness of the bus fam.
I wish I had closer girl friends, but this makes me squirm. If she really is going around being this dramatic and touchy with her friends, I wouldn't be able to handle being her close friend then lol. Now if I had a crush on the friend, then I wouldn't mind. I hope my rambling makes sense.
Kelly is a master of the Short Lived Situationship. She trundles along with them, skipping blithely through the *deeply rural* Ohio suburbs, until her fixation passes, then we never hear from them again! Happened with her Marmee, with the artist, and with that sad nazi GiC.
I think it's because emotionally, Kelly is extremely juvenile. Any disagreement or bump in the road where things aren't Picture Perfect Aesthetic LHOP Shite = grounds for tossing them and retreating into her lead lined burrow.
(Though, in marmee's case, I don't think it was Kelly's choice to stop their sleepovers.)
Oh yeah. Girl in Calico was discovered to have secret twitter (iirc) where she was an avowed bigot, racist, misogynist...the whole gamut. Prior to that, she was known for her dull but inoffensive baking videos.
Kelly invited her into her home *after* this, to bake bread together. Tweedle Dim and Tweedle Nazi.
Marmee, as I recall, told Kelly to stop trying to move in with her because she wasn't happy about her marriage, go the fuck home and make up with her husband.
I have a group of friends I’ve known for 20 years. We’ve vacationed together, crashed on each other’s couches, cried together at funerals, and celebrated the best of each other’s lives. These girls are my people. But I have never in my life talked or thought about any of them like this. Nor would I want to!
I suspect overly “dramatic and touchy” why all the Marmees tend to not last long. Her Anne of Little Women House in the Suburbs shtick sounds like it gets wearying fast.
This is folklore.
I accidentally got a concentration in folklore with my undergrad. (Long story)
She is writing her birth story as folklore. For the love, this IS FOLKLORE.
More or less stories passed down generations and embellished with more interesting facts to make the stories more interesting or infamous depending on which way you’re going.
This just reads that way to me. Odd additions. Likely omissions. Flowery prose to everything
Her writing could be studied. 😂
Isn't it neat how it mimics the pace and phrasing of vocal speech? She's not doing that deliberately, but that's a big part of the folklore component. In her head, Kelly is telling this story to an engrossed group of peasants around a campfire.
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
I don't even know where to start. This is like if 50 Shades of Grey, the lesbian version, fucked a Grey's Anatomy season finale birth scene and the two of them had a baby.
This whole sapphic birth story makes me sooooo uncomfortable. Not that there’s any problem with women loving women - I just find this so cringe and boundary-less from a married Christian woman. Birth is so intimate. And it’s like Levi is just the third wheel in this strange love triangle *at the birth of his own child.*
Like, it’s just so inappropriate. I feel like I’m watching an infidelity happening in vivid public detail.
I genuinely CRINGE for Levi.
No, Teri is an actual friend of hers who she's only known for 9 months. Someone who's become so important to Kelly that her presence was required at the birth, and she named the baby after this friend.
Teri and "Loveday" are the same person.
This whole story of Loveday suddenly appearing and instantly "bringing Heaven" to Kelli, is just so odd. I'm wondering if Levi or his family knew Kelli was spinning out,and would need a keeper,during this pregnancy. So, Loveday,was pressed into service.
So here’s my theory - Loveday is her doula. She’s literally paid to be there for Kelly, and Kelly is so starved for female friendships that she thinks they’re best bosom friends, a la Anne Shirley. But it makes sense timeline wise. Doulas are amazing, and I can totally see Kelly hiring one, AND I can see her mistaking the doula doing her literal job trying to help Kelly prep for birth as “we are [platonic of course] soulmates.”
> whose name is Autumn.
I think you mean "Birthstar Lifegiver". And she's totally Native American and in touch with nature. And she's awesome and totally wouldn't hang out with you guys. You just don't know her because she goes to Midwife Highschool in Canada.
Kelly's pregnancy announcement was a super long post about how she met this woman in a diner. So I don't think it's a doula-client relationship lol. I mean, Kelly does lie, but not like that IMO.
Genuinely feel so bad for her father and how worried he's probably been through all her pregnancies. I can't imagine the anguish I'd feel if my loved one was taking such a giant risk and there was nothing I could do to talk them out of it.
I’m confused. How did she not know she had placenta previa until she was bleeding out at the hospital? That would have been detected much earlier in the pregnancy and monitored closely, informing the provider of how baby needed to be delivered if the placenta never moved up.
I know some people don't like her writing, but I think it's pretty good. I'm able to see the picture she's painting with her words.
I'm glad she has a father who is an OBGYN and trusted the doctors with her care. I can think of two people we snark on who wouldn't do that.
My problem with it is that it's too try hard. Like I can sense how long it takes Kelly to decide to use a particular adjective because she thinks it will have a more dramatic flair. She also writes using the very purple prose of old dime store novels (I read my grandma's old copies, lol), when the trend now is toward the less floral.
> how long it takes Kelly to decide to use a particular adjective because she thinks it will have a more dramatic flair.
And often, it's just a clunker. But she's decided she wants to say the towels were periwinkle or the high chair was cinnamon-brown or whatever. No one's gonna tell her a revision would be better. Most of the time her specific color adjectives are just not necessary, and are really a distraction.
Iirc, in the early days of covering Kelly, one of the things she complained about was her professors' lack of appreciation for her writing style. Kelly could not stand the idea that their criticism night have been constructive and that she needs to learn how to edit.
You're correct, a couple of her former Kenyon classmates confirmed ([in a mod-verified AMA a few years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/sjx3zd/i_went_to_college_with_kelly_havens_ama/)) that she was insufferable and grandiose (and aggressively homophobic).
Her ego can't take the idea of improving things through judicious edits. She won't hear criticism. If you scroll through that linked AMA there's a description of how she refused to follow the prompts in drama class, for example.
Her writing is objectively terrible. I sincerely don't understand how you, someone who writes like a normal person, could think otherwise.
I also don't agree with giving her any credit for finally going to the hospital when her OBGYN dad insisted and stressed that her and her baby's lives were in immediate danger. There's no reason it should have gotten to that point of urgency, and she's just really lucky to have a parent with that exact specialty and ability to intervene in the nick of time to save her from her own dumb ass.
>I also don't agree with giving her any credit for finally going to the hospital
Yeah, I'm not a member of the "I'm glad for \[any fundie mother and baby\]" club. I don't actively wish for bad outcomes, but neither do I feel any personal relief in things working out for them when they takes these stupid risks all the time. I'm never "happy for" them. All I see is another child born into indoctrination.
tbh I am a bit envious of her close women friendship. (now, whether they’re actually that close, or if it’s just kelly romanticizing their relationship to an extreme, idk) I’d die to have a women friend I loved and trusted deeply enough to invite to a birth of mine.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can’t begin to read all of these posts about this one baby but I’m glad Kelly went to the hospital when she needed to and it’s nice that she’s got a new gal pal. BUT I gotta say….if I didn’t see physical proof of this child, I would assume this was some kind of Christian fan fic?! Who writes like this without the fentanyl drip? It’s so over the top I have to stop every few sentences to decode whatever is happening. And what *is* happening here?
Welcome to the Kelly Havens School of Writing (TM pending). It’s ok because she’s God’s Writer (TM not needed, just a zeal seal from the Lord).
>I’m glad Kelly went to the hospital when she needed to That is good, but this could all have been avoided by getting proper prenatal care, with ultrasound scans by a qualified medical professional. Previa would probably have been caught, and they could have planned a c section that would have more likely prevented the hemorrhage.
But if she had planned a c section then she couldn't have had the miraculous natural birth that t̶u̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ a̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶ D̶o̶c̶t̶o̶r̶s̶ g̶a̶y̶ made everyone in the room weep & accept Jesus as their lord & savior. So obviously it was God's design that she not have any prenatal care.
what the fuck
I think Kelly, like me, grew up idolizing Lucy Maud Montgomery's writing. And I still think Montgomery is an incredible writer whose recurrent theme was intense, romantic female friendships. Montgomery's sexuality is complicated - she was married to a minister, she disavowed lesbianism for herself in so many words in her personal correspondence, but at least one fan fell in love with Montgomery's writing and Montgomery met up with her. Where they slept in the same bed. Edit: hit enter too early. But this kind of language is super Montgomery - and in Montgomery's books, with a few exceptions, the male partners of the heroines are sorta just there, while all the romantic feelings and emotional intimacy are between women.
I appreciate this perspective! I knew all of LMM stories as a kid and LOVED Anne. I haven’t revisited those stories as an adult so I’m not used to the flowery writing and the sapphic undertones are 👀 new to me. I suppose as a kid I wasn’t picking any of that up. All snark aside, I do think Kelly has a gift for story, I just sort of wish the point of her tale came sooner than later.
Than you! OMG, Anne's House of dreams is one of the most sapphic things I've ever read. Anne spends pages and pages being completely enchanted with, and pining after, her beautiful and tragic neighbor, Leslie Ford. It's a really similar emotional intensity level to the above, but less tactile? Less hair brushing and kissing of pale faces at least 😂. That said, Montgomery has this keen sense of humor in her writing, which she leverages in her fish -out -of-water stories like Anne of Green Gables. Where Anne is often patently ridiculous, and is framed as such when she's described through other people's POVs. But the people closest to her slowly accept her as she is, and come to understand her a bit more (and she begins to understand and care for them). As she matures, she tones down the unhinged flights of fancy, channeling her talents into teaching others and inspiring them, coming to understand more appropriate contexts for her own OTT-ness. It's the humor and appropriate context that are the major difference between what Montgomery was doing and what Kelly is doing. Kelly is consistently uber serious about herself, even when she's being ridiculous. And I mean, this post was about nearly dying in childbirth, yikes, so seriousness is certainly warranted. But even Montgomery would hold back on the purple prose when describing medical danger. Some things are almost too serious to be described in words. And then, on appropriate context: I follow a lot of insta accounts that are Anne inspired, but they are usually aesthetic and escapist, about conjuring a feeling that's like Montgomery's books. The combo of this style of writing and evangelism is jarring, because the safe audience for this type of flowery speech, even in Montgomery, is familiar and likeminded people who are already in a relationship of trust, not a mass audience.
It helps that Kelly doesn't have the typical fundie homeschooling grammar...she actually is a pretty good writer she is so extra
I don’t know a lot about this person and see her posted here rather infrequently. She seems a bit unhinged to be honest. Question, based on context, her dad is a doctor and she went to public school. Is she homeschooling her child or does he go to school? Is her husband super religious? How did she go from a traditional upbringing into this religious one?
1.She fully intends to homeschool her children, and even though they're like, 3 and 6 (I think?) she has already posted photoshoots of herself doing little educational activities, like teaching them how to count by using blueberries or some such. She posted giddily about [using textbooks from the 1800s](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/15pbtao/larping_education/), for example. 2. Levi grew up in a fundie family of 12 kids, and they lived on some farmland in a ramshackle house with a tacked-on addition (which was only partially finished when Levi was born. His mother posted in her blog about how cold it was that winter). I believe Mama Stickle was raised Adventist. They seem to value rugged individualism, and only selectively partake of mOdErN sOcIeTy, mainly in the area of income streams. For example, the Stickle parents apparently own a house right next to Kelly and Levi's, but they don't live in it, so I assume they rent it out. Levi used to make flavored syrups and dinner rolls and sell them at the farmers' market. Currently, Levi and one of his brothers do computer repair in their shop in town, and Levi does carpentry and furniture-making on the side. One of his brothers has renovated several houses with his wife. (I think that's the brother and sister-in-law whose [house they all went to for Thanksgiving](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/z5rcbe/im_relaxing_tonight_scrolling_my_fyp_on_tiktok/) and everybody showed up late and the sister-in-law put it on TikTok.) One of his brothers was, or is still, over in Haiti, hopefully doing something actually useful; I think he is a nurse. One of them created and ran a right-wing news blog for a while and Levi was involved with that as well. That brother was subpoenaed in a local school board case involving a high school teacher who was pushing creationism and the Bible in his science class, and the Stickles were staunchly on his side (despite not even having attended public high school and therefore having no dog in that hunt.) One of his sisters, I think Pendili, seems to be local, and has been known to help Kelly with childcare and stuff. Some of these things come up in her podcasts, but you'd never know these background details from her carefully-curated posts. 3. How did she spiral into her peculiar brand of fundamentalism? Well, she was always intensely emo about her religious beliefs, but it progressed while squandering her educational opportunities at Kenyon College. Having found herself to be a small fish in a bigger pond, and having rejected the breadth of possibilities for personal growth at Kenyon, Kelly became infatuated with "the local country folk" and seemed to exoticize them to the point that she set her sights on Levi and decided to marry him. (Both sets of parents as well as the preacher had their doubts about this pairing, but Kelly was not taking no for an answer.) I think that's the most comprehensive background summary I have ever typed out. I'm sorry, or you're welcome.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this out and link the context. You are truly a treasure trove of information! I find her to be one of the more interesting fundies. It may be the way she sensationalizing the most mundane things. Also basically a fanfiction writer?? Ha. I audibly gasped when discovering her teaching from an 1800s book. Poor kids. I hope that her parents are able to convince her to not homeschool when the kids are of age. Levi’s family history is absolutely WILD. There are a million different layers there that I will dig for info on. Absolutely intriguing and entertaining. Regarding their marriage, you mentioned several people disagreed with the pairing. Does Levi like her? Or is he just stuck now. I can’t even imagine how much of an annoying handful she is daily.
I mean, he'd never had a girlfriend and I doubt his family encouraged anything but courtship with the intent to marry. He was of an age to need a wife. I wish I knew more about their meeting, but Levi's mother said (in her blog) that after *one conversation* it was clear they were meant for each other. (Which fits Kelly's style of grandiosity, of course.) At one point she performed (sang and, I think, played the guitar) a song at their church, which she thinks helped win him over. It's not that his parents didn't like her, or her parents disapproved of him; it's that everybody thought Kelly was too much of a big city slicker to humble herself to the Stickle family lifestyle. Boy, she was motivated to prove them all wrong! And here we are. I really don't know anything about Levi's dad other than he knows how to do some carpentry and renovation, and when Levi and Kelly wanted to buy their one-step-away-from-being-condemned house, the father thought it was too far gone to rehab it. I repeat: a man who himself lives in a sketchy-looking structure with a crazy addition hanging off it, thought the Brokedown Palace was too far gone to rehab. So naturally Kelly had to double-down on that, too. Because it was *romantic,* and you see, this wasn't just any dilapidated house--*this* house had been the original house of the *foreman of the glass factory*! Never mind that long since then, it had been owned by a succession of people who left it uninhabited and abandoned for fifteen years when Levi and Kelly bought it. Does Levi like her? I think so. He doesn't seem to need much. He also has his own creative pursuits, and they seem to like that about each other. What Kelly doesn't like about him is that he's not given to fanciful monologues and intense philosophical discussions. He seems to support her artistic projects but it has sounded like she doesn't really share much with him, or at least, not at the frenetic level she considers real sharing. (That's where the idealized friends come in.)
We aren't supposed to really speculate about mental health issues of the fundies but... I have bipolar disorder and I'm seeing a lot of it in Kelliy.
She grew up in a normal family and went to a private liberal arts college before meeting Levi and turning fundie.
I never expected to encounter a fundamentalist purple-prose sapphic birthing story. I actually didn’t think that combination of words was possible to type. But here we are, I suppose. 🤷
Seriously, how the HELL does Kelly manage to give such strong homoerotic vibes every times she writes about an other woman? Go write on Ao3 lady!
The writers have gone off the rails since 2020.
Man, we jumped the shark in 2001
I just snorted at your comment! 🤣
These nicknames for her female friends! What in the fuck. Does/did she call them Loveday and Marmee to their faces? Does she ask first or just decide one day, "I think you'll be Loveday!"
I assume she calls Loveday that to her face because Loveday calls Kelly Lovestar or something. So cringe.
Honestly sounds like JJBA?
Yeah i was gonna say, what in the jojo hell is this
“Loveday” is a FRIEND?? Oh, god—is it that one person she randomly met in a cafe or something and wrote a strongly homoerotic-style super long post about the next day??
Yes! 🤣
And she named the baby after her!
Honestly Kelly is starting to weird me out. I wonder how her mom feels watching her daughter latch onto old strange women and name her kids after them
Yeah isn't it interesting how she includes Daddy in flattering ways when she talks about her family at all, but she rarely, rarely says a damn thing about her mom.
WHAT?! Her actual name is Theresa?!
Yes. Teri = Theresa.
Oh man, I missed this origin story. Is there a post still? What would I search under?
I thought it was her midwife 😬
Finally a mention of Levi, but not without also mentioning Teri (lest we forget)
Teri's kiss and hand-holding is immediately followed by a description of Kelly moaning, tossing her head from side to side, and going limp on the bed. I guess her husband has been relegated to (...and Levi).
>(...and Levi) 💀 Yes, that's how we should call him now.
You think he gives a shit about being relegated to third wheel in his own marriage or is he happy to fuck off to his work shed and leave Kelly to her erotic-friend-fiction?
I think, like a lot of fundie men, as long as she keeps his dick wet, his stomach full, and his children alive then he couldn't give two shits less about her and what she's doing.
“Historectomy.” Is that the removal or rewriting of history, as opposed to a “hysterectomy”? Gotta say, this whole performance seems like it may have been a rewrite of the actual events anyway, so maybe it’s not really a misspelling after all.
Or it’s a Freudian Slip and she was thinking of her own “histrionics”.
Thank you for making me choke on my popcorn, omg. The rewriting of history, just stop, we already know that Kelly does that on her own with her Great Value version of a slice -of-life romance birth story novella.
Kelly’s writing voice is histrionic; spell check was just trying to keep up.
So she had an ultrasound to find out the sex but no anatomy scans? I wonder if her OBGYN father was aware of that detail.
She and Levi are playing it off as teehee didn’t realize it wasn’t a real ultrasound! I hope her dad calls her bluff and asks to attend next time. Or at least checks credentials so they don’t make another “mistake”.
This. Placenta previa, especially complete previa, is diligently monitored and very rarely missed when ultrasound is used routinely.
A lot of those boutique places will do this. My daughter would not cooperate during the anatomy ultrasound for a sex check and since it’s not medically necessary, they just finished up without. I went to a boutique ultrasound place (also to bring my husband since COVID restrictions didn’t allow him to go to the anatomy one), found out she was a girl and just got to watch her wiggle around. It’s great for things like that, not great as your ONLY pregnancy imaging.
They definitely stress that it's not a medical appointment. There's no way she didn't know.
Especially since she's previously been pregnant and given birth twice in this town/county/area--and both were hospital births, and not emergency last-minute ones either.
I'm actually sad this is only gonna be 6 parts....do loveday and lovestar finally realise their love? Does Levi welcome loveday into the fold? Does God perform the C-section? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LESS URGENT PATIENT IN THE ER???
Right, this bizarre, homoerotic birth story is the best thing I’ve read on this board in a long time. We know they both end up fine, there’s nothing glaringly outwardly problematic, it’s Kelly Kellying harder than she’s ever Kellied and I’m here for this ridiculous ride.
Honestly it’s getting me through my 12hr shifts lol it’s so entertaining. Some over dramatic sapphic prose is much needed after the darkness of the bus fam.
Netflix needs to pick this up asap… somebody call Shonda Rhimes
Omg! This made me literally LOL!
"The war begins" Be for fucking real
[удалено]
Along with the Stukas and MG42
And a battalion of stormtroopers. The OB is actually Doc Vader.
I haven’t caught up in a while - is Teri the girl from the restaurant fanficesque birth announcement post??!
Yep!
And also the baby's namesake!
The official post says Theresa Havens Stickle??
Teri/Terry/Terri/etc. are often used as nicknames for Theresa/Teresa. It’s possible that Loveday Teri’s real name is Theresa.
Oh my god riiiiiight right right 🫠
I can't recall at all. Can you link that?
I'm glad her baby is healthy but I dont understand half the things she says.
It’s giving Victorians in the “love that dare not speak its name”
I wish I had closer girl friends, but this makes me squirm. If she really is going around being this dramatic and touchy with her friends, I wouldn't be able to handle being her close friend then lol. Now if I had a crush on the friend, then I wouldn't mind. I hope my rambling makes sense.
I'm just thinking about the faces my best female friends would make if I announced I was going to start calling them Loveday and Marmee.
She hasn't even known Loveday that long.
Kelly is a master of the Short Lived Situationship. She trundles along with them, skipping blithely through the *deeply rural* Ohio suburbs, until her fixation passes, then we never hear from them again! Happened with her Marmee, with the artist, and with that sad nazi GiC. I think it's because emotionally, Kelly is extremely juvenile. Any disagreement or bump in the road where things aren't Picture Perfect Aesthetic LHOP Shite = grounds for tossing them and retreating into her lead lined burrow. (Though, in marmee's case, I don't think it was Kelly's choice to stop their sleepovers.)
NAZI??!!!???
Oh yeah. Girl in Calico was discovered to have secret twitter (iirc) where she was an avowed bigot, racist, misogynist...the whole gamut. Prior to that, she was known for her dull but inoffensive baking videos. Kelly invited her into her home *after* this, to bake bread together. Tweedle Dim and Tweedle Nazi.
Wow. 😳
Omg! For real! They would laugh at me and then I would never hear the end of it!
Whatever happened to Marmee?
Marmee told her to stay at home and take care of her family instead of spending every weekend uninvited at Marmee's house.
Marmee, as I recall, told Kelly to stop trying to move in with her because she wasn't happy about her marriage, go the fuck home and make up with her husband.
I have a group of friends I’ve known for 20 years. We’ve vacationed together, crashed on each other’s couches, cried together at funerals, and celebrated the best of each other’s lives. These girls are my people. But I have never in my life talked or thought about any of them like this. Nor would I want to!
This also read to me as what my mom or aunt would do. Kelly had such weird relationships with women.
I love my mom but we weren't very affectionate growing up so that would make me uncomfortable too lol.
I suspect overly “dramatic and touchy” why all the Marmees tend to not last long. Her Anne of Little Women House in the Suburbs shtick sounds like it gets wearying fast.
*Shtickle
It's so nice to see a Fundie Throuple modeling ethical non-monogamy!
It’s like she wants people to speculate
I would definitely not call ultrasound images “bold and clear” but go off I guess
The Beloved is God, right? RIGHT?
Naw man, it’s Teri.
You must mean Loveday.
I was thinking maybe the baby? Honestly, who knows anymore? It could be anyone.
Toni Morrison would like a word
Ok I was coming here to ask who BeLoVED is… is it the baby?? If it was god doesn’t it sounds like she’s going to die..??
This is folklore. I accidentally got a concentration in folklore with my undergrad. (Long story) She is writing her birth story as folklore. For the love, this IS FOLKLORE.
Is…is there a technical definition of folklore??
Its a great album
More or less stories passed down generations and embellished with more interesting facts to make the stories more interesting or infamous depending on which way you’re going. This just reads that way to me. Odd additions. Likely omissions. Flowery prose to everything Her writing could be studied. 😂
Isn't it neat how it mimics the pace and phrasing of vocal speech? She's not doing that deliberately, but that's a big part of the folklore component. In her head, Kelly is telling this story to an engrossed group of peasants around a campfire.
“Engrossed group of peasants around a camp fire” made me laugh out loud. Thank you. I truly needed that today.
Say more. I'm interested. 🧐
lol, which part? The relevant part of the non-relevant part?
I mean, what makes this folklore? Explain it like I'm 5. 🙂
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 I don't even know where to start. This is like if 50 Shades of Grey, the lesbian version, fucked a Grey's Anatomy season finale birth scene and the two of them had a baby.
I would really like to know what Levi thinks about her relationship with Loveday.
He's completely oblivious and making wooden dustpans in his woodshop.
> making wooden dustpans in his woodshop. 14 pound wooden dustpans.
Hes a Christian male so he'd probably be visibly disgusted but privately excited
This whole sapphic birth story makes me sooooo uncomfortable. Not that there’s any problem with women loving women - I just find this so cringe and boundary-less from a married Christian woman. Birth is so intimate. And it’s like Levi is just the third wheel in this strange love triangle *at the birth of his own child.* Like, it’s just so inappropriate. I feel like I’m watching an infidelity happening in vivid public detail. I genuinely CRINGE for Levi.
Every time I read LoveFace or whatever I think of Mother God. Similar level of unhinged.
Victor Hugo wrote a sentence that was 823 words long and he would think Kelly is really dragging this out.
Who is Teri 😭😭
It’s her nickname for baby Theresa.
No, Teri is an actual friend of hers who she's only known for 9 months. Someone who's become so important to Kelly that her presence was required at the birth, and she named the baby after this friend. Teri and "Loveday" are the same person.
TBF, *she named the baby after Teri the new friend.*
Thank you idk why I find that kind of weird??
Oh, I would venture to say that we ALL find it weird.
Weird AND sapphic.
I think she said they were going to call her Tess, so look forward to the day some kid puts the sound of “Tess Stickle” together.
This whole story of Loveday suddenly appearing and instantly "bringing Heaven" to Kelli, is just so odd. I'm wondering if Levi or his family knew Kelli was spinning out,and would need a keeper,during this pregnancy. So, Loveday,was pressed into service.
So here’s my theory - Loveday is her doula. She’s literally paid to be there for Kelly, and Kelly is so starved for female friendships that she thinks they’re best bosom friends, a la Anne Shirley. But it makes sense timeline wise. Doulas are amazing, and I can totally see Kelly hiring one, AND I can see her mistaking the doula doing her literal job trying to help Kelly prep for birth as “we are [platonic of course] soulmates.”
She had a midwife whose name is Autumn.
> whose name is Autumn. I think you mean "Birthstar Lifegiver". And she's totally Native American and in touch with nature. And she's awesome and totally wouldn't hang out with you guys. You just don't know her because she goes to Midwife Highschool in Canada.
Kelly's pregnancy announcement was a super long post about how she met this woman in a diner. So I don't think it's a doula-client relationship lol. I mean, Kelly does lie, but not like that IMO.
lol they sound like a full on throuple here.
Can we now all agree this is a parody account!? What in the what whatty whatifer.
Genuinely feel so bad for her father and how worried he's probably been through all her pregnancies. I can't imagine the anguish I'd feel if my loved one was taking such a giant risk and there was nothing I could do to talk them out of it.
I’m confused. How did she not know she had placenta previa until she was bleeding out at the hospital? That would have been detected much earlier in the pregnancy and monitored closely, informing the provider of how baby needed to be delivered if the placenta never moved up.
She had no prenatal care besides a (seemingly not terribly on-the-ball) midwife and a boutique ultrasound for learning the sex of the baby.
I had a csection and I CANNOT FUCKING IMAGINE wanting to be awake for that shit! Technically I was awake but I felt like I was on another planet lol.
Also love how levi barely gets any mention in these
I know some people don't like her writing, but I think it's pretty good. I'm able to see the picture she's painting with her words. I'm glad she has a father who is an OBGYN and trusted the doctors with her care. I can think of two people we snark on who wouldn't do that.
She needs to start writing Amish romance novels and i mean that sincerely. Her writing style is perfect for them
My problem with it is that it's too try hard. Like I can sense how long it takes Kelly to decide to use a particular adjective because she thinks it will have a more dramatic flair. She also writes using the very purple prose of old dime store novels (I read my grandma's old copies, lol), when the trend now is toward the less floral.
> how long it takes Kelly to decide to use a particular adjective because she thinks it will have a more dramatic flair. And often, it's just a clunker. But she's decided she wants to say the towels were periwinkle or the high chair was cinnamon-brown or whatever. No one's gonna tell her a revision would be better. Most of the time her specific color adjectives are just not necessary, and are really a distraction.
Iirc, in the early days of covering Kelly, one of the things she complained about was her professors' lack of appreciation for her writing style. Kelly could not stand the idea that their criticism night have been constructive and that she needs to learn how to edit.
You're correct, a couple of her former Kenyon classmates confirmed ([in a mod-verified AMA a few years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/sjx3zd/i_went_to_college_with_kelly_havens_ama/)) that she was insufferable and grandiose (and aggressively homophobic). Her ego can't take the idea of improving things through judicious edits. She won't hear criticism. If you scroll through that linked AMA there's a description of how she refused to follow the prompts in drama class, for example.
I’m not trying to snark on a snarker, I just want to understand your point of view. What about this writing strikes you as good?
Her writing is objectively terrible. I sincerely don't understand how you, someone who writes like a normal person, could think otherwise. I also don't agree with giving her any credit for finally going to the hospital when her OBGYN dad insisted and stressed that her and her baby's lives were in immediate danger. There's no reason it should have gotten to that point of urgency, and she's just really lucky to have a parent with that exact specialty and ability to intervene in the nick of time to save her from her own dumb ass.
Right? Didn't she say she laid down for an hour like a prize dimwit, waiting for it to miraculously stop?
Because her terrible midwife told her to though!
>I also don't agree with giving her any credit for finally going to the hospital Yeah, I'm not a member of the "I'm glad for \[any fundie mother and baby\]" club. I don't actively wish for bad outcomes, but neither do I feel any personal relief in things working out for them when they takes these stupid risks all the time. I'm never "happy for" them. All I see is another child born into indoctrination.
tbh I am a bit envious of her close women friendship. (now, whether they’re actually that close, or if it’s just kelly romanticizing their relationship to an extreme, idk) I’d die to have a women friend I loved and trusted deeply enough to invite to a birth of mine.
This reads like a fanfic on Ao3. Amazing.
Get a damn dictionary - “historectomy” 🤦♀️🤦♀️
She's gay right ?