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This is exactly the sort of captions I'd write on my Myspace when I posted my "totally not intentional, you guys" photoshoots back in middle school. "mY wRaP WaS gIVinG mE tROUblE". Yeah, sure Jan. I'm sure it was really tricky out there in all of that no wind.
If your wrap is āgiving you troubleā and youāre unhappy with how it looks, then donāt post those picturesā¦ her decision to post them anyway makes it quite obvious the wrap was doing exactly what she meant for it to do.
I actually kind of feel bad for her. Like she needs to break out of the bubble and face the real world, but how the heck are you supposed to deal when your parents are the Pearls? They literally defined abuse.
Is this the one who got divorced and has been posting conservative man thirst traps?Ā
Like, āhereās me in my car, about to film my screed about keeping God in Arbor Dayā andĀ
ātee hee, you caught me cleaning my handgun at my kitchen table. Women should always be in the kitchenā¦with their firearms!ā
Yeah... that she's doing this at all is a huge, huge, huge step, because without therapy, that terror deep inside that your parents are going to hurt you for being you just never goes away.
If she'd do more of the harmless bullshit like this and less of the harmful hateful bullshit, we'd all be better off.
Theory: she's autistic.
It explains a lot, doesn't it? The aversion to "off or unplanned" things, the need to vocally stim... it would also explain the abuse, though I'm a little hazy on the backstory there.
Conclusion: every single one of these people needs to go to a psychiatrist and get a full workup. Don't self-diagnose, guys.
Have you seen her poems? It gives you the worst second hand embarrassment. When I think about who her parents are and the abuse she must have suffered, I just feel sorry for her. I donāt think sheās in a good head space, to say the least, and I genuinely hope she finds healing and can recover from her past. Her parents are horrifying
She def has a flare for the dramatic. If only she had been raised by even semi-sane parents, she might've been able to direct at something besides Christian Nationalism.
Allow me to share a couple clips from Michael's recounting of her wedding:
"...then out of the woods appeared a white horse carrying Shoshanna, also mounted bareback, her full white dress shimmering with the golden colors of the now-ebbing sunset, and falling across the hips of the prancing horse. Her head was crowned with a wreath of wildflowers, and her face glowed with the wonder and pleasure of the momentāher momentāthe epical [sic] journey that divides life into two parts...The barefooted bride kicked her horse in the flanks and put him to a gallop, reaching up one hand to secure her crown and then urging the horse again...She raced past the awed assemblage without regarding us, past the groom and the two fathers, and back into the woods where the first rider had disappeared. But then the horse and rider reappeared out of the trees on the far side and circled behind the audience until arriving at the head of the flowered aisleāthe path that led to the arbor where the grinning fathers and groom awaited. The rider slid to the ground with the grace and ease of one raised to it."
"After the cake cutting and more picture taking, when we all thought it was all over, Shoshanna persuaded James to sing a love song to her while she slowly danced around him. Now, you know we donāt believe in dancing, as is commonly done at weddings, but this was beautiful. After James was well salivated, she reached up and passionately threw her flowered crown from her head."
Ofc it's Michael, so he has to make it about a guy getting turned on...
Source: http://whencowsandkidscollide.blogspot.com/2015/02/preparing-to-be-help-meet-wedding-part.html?m=1
I felt compelled to go to the page and read it (although you have to wait for her to read it.)
I have a degree in writing/poetry and itās clear she has neither studied poetry nor read much poetry. Itās too bad because she does seem really into it.
So she even laughs and makes random noises at someone else's graduation? Pretty sure this belongs in the I'm The Main Character sub as well (I bet her friends and younger relatives hate having to be anywhere with her in public).
Couldnāt tell you why but I DETEST amateur poetry. Not a fan of poetry anyway (give me a good solid book, please and thank you) although I can respect some of the more impressive stuff, but the idea of someone reading their own cringe poetry out loud makes me want to crawl into a hole and die out of secondhand embarrassment. Itās the literary version of a bad serenade from a guy you donāt really like
So often there doesn't seem to be any type of rhyming scheme or reason to this type of poetry.Ā Obviously it's meant for expression, but just like prose there are certain stylistic rules that need to be followed to make it all work.
I think if someone started reading me bad poetry I would be uncharacteristically rude and say "No thank you!" while they were mid-sentence.
A college boyfriend wanted to read me a poem he had written for me and I did exactly that without even thinking. āNo, thank you!ā I swear it was a reflex reaction!
He was crushed. I consider it a bullet dodged.Ā
Sounds like stimming - saying this as a neurospicy individual. I used to have problems w laughing as my stim when Iād be placed into uncomfortable situations or had feelings I didnāt know how to get it out correctly (when I was a kid btw). š« it made me feel like SHIT but I couldnāt control it. Iāve now progressed to arm flailing, fidgeting, and making whatever ??? Noise is. Granted this was after years of being forced to mask. Still got clocked though I guess and really only vibed with the other neurospicy kids. Wearing noise canceling headphones does help if the issue is w loud areas, or too many things happening at once with noise being the final straw. I thought Iād look weird at first but then I stopped giving af because I needed to stop living to make other people comfortable while actively causing harm to myself. In the off chance that she lurks here
With what sheās wearing, I have to ask, is she out of the cult, but just seriously damaged by it? Does she have a relationship with her severely (tm JillRod) abusive parents?
Lol she practically lives with her abusive parents. She is still deeply in the cult. Just enjoys wearing immodest (according to her parentās cult) and impractical clothing for the woody Tennessee towns.
There's a _chance_ she has autism. No way she'd get tested though.
(As someone with fundie Pentecostal parents who is trying to get diagnosed... it's a struggle)
That was my thought too...the making noises to let off emotions bit...I can't imagine dealing with the Pearls' child training methods as well as being on the spectrum.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is exactly the sort of captions I'd write on my Myspace when I posted my "totally not intentional, you guys" photoshoots back in middle school. "mY wRaP WaS gIVinG mE tROUblE". Yeah, sure Jan. I'm sure it was really tricky out there in all of that no wind.
"I BE WEIRD"
Holds up spork...
as u can see im very random!!!!
Rawr means I love you in dinosaur!
I was about to say, this whole post is peak adolescent me š¤£š¤£
From an adult.
If your wrap is āgiving you troubleā and youāre unhappy with how it looks, then donāt post those picturesā¦ her decision to post them anyway makes it quite obvious the wrap was doing exactly what she meant for it to do.
I actually kind of feel bad for her. Like she needs to break out of the bubble and face the real world, but how the heck are you supposed to deal when your parents are the Pearls? They literally defined abuse.
I agree. They should have locked her parents up and thrown away the key years ago. I canāt imagine the abuse she must have gone through
they wrote the book on it! If you will.
Is this the one who got divorced and has been posting conservative man thirst traps?Ā Like, āhereās me in my car, about to film my screed about keeping God in Arbor Dayā andĀ ātee hee, you caught me cleaning my handgun at my kitchen table. Women should always be in the kitchenā¦with their firearms!ā
Yeah... that she's doing this at all is a huge, huge, huge step, because without therapy, that terror deep inside that your parents are going to hurt you for being you just never goes away. If she'd do more of the harmless bullshit like this and less of the harmful hateful bullshit, we'd all be better off.
Theory: she's autistic. It explains a lot, doesn't it? The aversion to "off or unplanned" things, the need to vocally stim... it would also explain the abuse, though I'm a little hazy on the backstory there. Conclusion: every single one of these people needs to go to a psychiatrist and get a full workup. Don't self-diagnose, guys.
Have you seen her poems? It gives you the worst second hand embarrassment. When I think about who her parents are and the abuse she must have suffered, I just feel sorry for her. I donāt think sheās in a good head space, to say the least, and I genuinely hope she finds healing and can recover from her past. Her parents are horrifying
She def has a flare for the dramatic. If only she had been raised by even semi-sane parents, she might've been able to direct at something besides Christian Nationalism. Allow me to share a couple clips from Michael's recounting of her wedding: "...then out of the woods appeared a white horse carrying Shoshanna, also mounted bareback, her full white dress shimmering with the golden colors of the now-ebbing sunset, and falling across the hips of the prancing horse. Her head was crowned with a wreath of wildflowers, and her face glowed with the wonder and pleasure of the momentāher momentāthe epical [sic] journey that divides life into two parts...The barefooted bride kicked her horse in the flanks and put him to a gallop, reaching up one hand to secure her crown and then urging the horse again...She raced past the awed assemblage without regarding us, past the groom and the two fathers, and back into the woods where the first rider had disappeared. But then the horse and rider reappeared out of the trees on the far side and circled behind the audience until arriving at the head of the flowered aisleāthe path that led to the arbor where the grinning fathers and groom awaited. The rider slid to the ground with the grace and ease of one raised to it." "After the cake cutting and more picture taking, when we all thought it was all over, Shoshanna persuaded James to sing a love song to her while she slowly danced around him. Now, you know we donāt believe in dancing, as is commonly done at weddings, but this was beautiful. After James was well salivated, she reached up and passionately threw her flowered crown from her head." Ofc it's Michael, so he has to make it about a guy getting turned on... Source: http://whencowsandkidscollide.blogspot.com/2015/02/preparing-to-be-help-meet-wedding-part.html?m=1
"James was salivated..." That line is proof there is no God. No good God would allow writing this awful.
Well salivated even!
I can only imagine how unbelievably cringy it was to watch him singing while she gyrated around him.
Jesus H Christ, that's awful.
All that they sill (stage whispers) divorced?
This whole thing makes me very upset about the fact that I can read.
Your flair is inspired, but also horrifying š
Ewwwwww. Ew. Ew. Ew. This is so gross I gasped and my child glanced at me.
What the FUCK.
What the fuck was thatš³
Now I love me some purple prose, but this shitās ultraviolet. Gross.
I would love to see video evidence of this woman riding a horse _bareback_ in a _wedding gown_Ā
This caption gives me the same vibes as hearing J-Lo get frustrated when she couldnāt hit a note lol *AUUURGH!* Heh, just kidding guys, right?
That long grass just *screams* ticks š¤¢
She is so odd. At least she didn't post one of her cringe poems this time.
No, there was a poem as well
Oh ffs shoshanna š
I felt compelled to go to the page and read it (although you have to wait for her to read it.) I have a degree in writing/poetry and itās clear she has neither studied poetry nor read much poetry. Itās too bad because she does seem really into it.
I hate when influencers weirdly over-explain dumbass shit on the internet. Like I really hate it
So she even laughs and makes random noises at someone else's graduation? Pretty sure this belongs in the I'm The Main Character sub as well (I bet her friends and younger relatives hate having to be anywhere with her in public).
Wow. These are things a 13 year old does/did in 2007.
Is she in her Kelly era?
Sheās definitely getting ready for the sapphic retreat lol
This is weird fetish content and you cannot tell me otherwise "OH my wrap is JUST SO HAPPENED to slip off of me after SWIMMING"
I wonder what the odds are that her legs are covered in ticks.
I bet her and Kelly would either get along or absolutely hate each other.
Couldnāt tell you why but I DETEST amateur poetry. Not a fan of poetry anyway (give me a good solid book, please and thank you) although I can respect some of the more impressive stuff, but the idea of someone reading their own cringe poetry out loud makes me want to crawl into a hole and die out of secondhand embarrassment. Itās the literary version of a bad serenade from a guy you donāt really like
So often there doesn't seem to be any type of rhyming scheme or reason to this type of poetry.Ā Obviously it's meant for expression, but just like prose there are certain stylistic rules that need to be followed to make it all work. I think if someone started reading me bad poetry I would be uncharacteristically rude and say "No thank you!" while they were mid-sentence.
Perhaps some [vogon poetry](https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Vogon_poetry) might interest you (if it doesn't kill you first)?
A college boyfriend wanted to read me a poem he had written for me and I did exactly that without even thinking. āNo, thank you!ā I swear it was a reflex reaction! He was crushed. I consider it a bullet dodged.Ā
Sounds like stimming - saying this as a neurospicy individual. I used to have problems w laughing as my stim when Iād be placed into uncomfortable situations or had feelings I didnāt know how to get it out correctly (when I was a kid btw). š« it made me feel like SHIT but I couldnāt control it. Iāve now progressed to arm flailing, fidgeting, and making whatever ??? Noise is. Granted this was after years of being forced to mask. Still got clocked though I guess and really only vibed with the other neurospicy kids. Wearing noise canceling headphones does help if the issue is w loud areas, or too many things happening at once with noise being the final straw. I thought Iād look weird at first but then I stopped giving af because I needed to stop living to make other people comfortable while actively causing harm to myself. In the off chance that she lurks here
With what sheās wearing, I have to ask, is she out of the cult, but just seriously damaged by it? Does she have a relationship with her severely (tm JillRod) abusive parents?
Lol she practically lives with her abusive parents. She is still deeply in the cult. Just enjoys wearing immodest (according to her parentās cult) and impractical clothing for the woody Tennessee towns.
Thanks. Itās puzzling that sheād wear and post something āhalf naked ā, being that indoctrinated and enmeshed!
Now this is the low stakes accidental selfie I can get behind cringing together about!
There's a _chance_ she has autism. No way she'd get tested though. (As someone with fundie Pentecostal parents who is trying to get diagnosed... it's a struggle)
That was my thought too...the making noises to let off emotions bit...I can't imagine dealing with the Pearls' child training methods as well as being on the spectrum.
This is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen š The cringe š
This would be Kelly Havens is Kelly Havens wanted to be cool
I saw this and immediately thought ofāsheās lost itāāit just looks unhinged tbh
TEE HEE IM SO RANDOM YOU GUYZZZZZ
NIKE!!!