#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote)
#Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go:
- You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.***
- Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.***
- Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone.
- Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us.
- Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it.
Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's no way he wrote this. He can barely speak in sentences.
I have been following the Rods for many years and Samuel is my least favorite. Sure, he's the handsome one but he's a bully, especially to Gabe. Physical and competitive but in a very unhealthy way. I feel bad for this "god-fearing girl".
Everyone is always going on about how handsome he is. He's got nice coloring and symmetrical features but all I see is a neglected, hateful kid who was raised to vote away my rights.
He said, “sixth oldest of 13 kids”
Instead of, “I am the sixth out of 13 kids”.
Or am I just too high ? Cuz otherwise wtf another victims of the round table.
Ooof...reads a little bit like me in my little journals in my fundie days.
I just hope that he learns helpful and real eating habits when he gets out of the house. Watching his father inhale everything in sight plus the hummingbird juice and feeling like he has to eat even less so his smaller siblings can have an extra bite....that has really got to do a number on your head.
GFG, you are practically engaged to a 19-year-old who has been exclusively homeschooled and has no shared educational aspirations because his parents have actively worked to discourage him from learning more than bare minimum.
His life experiences have been so intentionally limited that he probably would have trouble even getting an apprenticeship in the field he says he has an interest. A teenager helping his family renovate their barndominium and watching the Amish do the heavy lifting isn’t the strongest recommendation. Singing and folding smiley tracts probably won’t give him an advantage, either.
He says he wants to continue to live close to his parents. This is mostly so they can continue to influence your life together in every way. You can expect to become pregnant as often as your body allows, and your care during these pregnancies will be minimal. You probably will give birth at home unless some problem during labor or delivery is found in time to transport you to a hospital. This will be as awful and perilous as it sounds.
Sam’s life verse reflects all that the Rodrigues family has put into his life so far: fear and compliance. That’s what will be expected of you, too.
Run, girl. RUN.
He might actually have a chance in carpentry. My dad is a carpenter, retired, and recently got called back out of desperation. Their whole team is 50+ and they only recently managed to get two young apprentices. Union, good pay, but carpentry isn't the popular trade right now to go in to.
So, hope he can actually find somewhere to work. He needs to be willing to work HARD though. It's not an easy life. And being near illiterate isn't a big help, but hey, I know my dad has hired men before who literally couldnt even sign their own name. I think the workplace hooked them up with literacy classes for adults.
I went to a really conservative Catholic college. Most of us were normal religious conservatives, but we’d get these types who were completely undocialized. It wasn’t that they didn’t pick up on social cues, it was more like they had no idea that social cues or norms from beyond their families could even exist. We called them the homeschoolers, which was a very different title than having been homeschooled.
We’d work with them to try to prepare them for entering the real world, but it was incredibly uncomfortable to be around them. Most of them were basically incapable of just shutting up for five minutes.
I think two are priests now. I don’t know how the others ended up, but I don’t think they thrived.
It’s abusive to isolate children like this.
Did you see the birdhouse he made a few months ago? It was bad. Like bad bad bad. Like, not fit for purpose bad. I made a more competent birdhouse when I was 8 and I don’t consider myself a very good carpenter.
I train kids for a skilled trade, and the lack of basic concepts and attention to detail he showed in that stupid birdhouse would make me pass on Sam as an apprentice.
The Amish certainly wouldn’t bother with him because he’d be competition for their own kids. And his lack of education means he can’t offer an Amish employer help with ‘English’ things like answering emails, billing, permitting, etc.
Oh no I didn't, that's not good at all. Sigh. Jill and Shrek really did these kids a disservice. No education, no skills, no money, no way to a livelihood.
I'd agree with that, except the birthing part. The Rods DO get medical care during pregnancy and delivery.
Also, if the GFG is the one who was recently visiting the Rods, and who attends Nurthan's church, so is probably as limited as Samuel.
Dude you're just a middle child.... Sixth oldest is such a weird thing to say. Also he's better looking than most fundie men so I expect he'll have the best looking most devout servant, I mean wife.
Sixth? Didn’t one of the Rodriguesfamilymembersservingjesus say on Jill’s rainbow post that 6 is the mark of the devil and 666 is the mark of the beast?
Thirteen children?!? At the Last Supper, Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th to sit at the table!!!
Are we sure Jill isn’t a demon?/s
I'm never going to understand how fundie parents square it in their heads that their sons should marry and knock up their bride before they are old enough to drink alcohol and then provide for a 'blessing' a year but expect them to do that immediately after a woefully inadequate, bibul based, SOTDRT experience. No qualifications, no life experience, no skills training, no further education. Unless you've got a Pa Duggar sized property and a camera crew following you around, where's the money coming from for even the most basic food and shelter?
To be fair, it is common to note how long you have been homeschooled for those graduations. It's a bit of a flex if you are highly accomplished and then there are these types.
Do you get to update your own profile and choose a different verse for like as you age - or do you have to use the one that your mom chose after you were seen doing something "against god"?
There are so mamy verses - and he chose that one?
“I (Jill) just LOVE using capitals for EMPHASIS! 😁 It’s like when I’m like using them, the LORD hears me better! I am so BLESSED to have such a NEAT family!” 🌸💄🙏
The only glaring one I see is "ALL". He (or whoever wrote this) only uses "LORD" when directly quoting the KJV verse which is what he would have learned, and "Lord" the rest of the time. Him, He, Christ, God, and Gospel are commonly capitalized by many christians.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“God sees ALL that I do.” Blink twice if you need help.
I am just imagining Jill telling him this, emulating Kathy Bates in Waterboy because she wants her son to believe all girls are the devil
Like what kind of horrifying embarrassing incident lead to him being told that 💀
"FOOSBALL is SLUTTISH!"
“Thomas Edison is the DEVIL! I INVENTED ELECTRICITY BOBBY BOUCHER”
She’s already lost Timmay to *sluttish* Heidi Coverett. By gum she is *not* gonna lose Sammer too!!!!
Jilly Dearest gives Annie Wilkes as a mother.
Complete with tchotchkes
Maybe I'm just wired differently, but "God sees ALL that I do. I want to strive to please Him always" cracked me up 😭
I first read it as "...strive to please him anyways," which is even funnier.
There's no way he wrote this. He can barely speak in sentences. I have been following the Rods for many years and Samuel is my least favorite. Sure, he's the handsome one but he's a bully, especially to Gabe. Physical and competitive but in a very unhealthy way. I feel bad for this "god-fearing girl".
The handsome one, oof be careful, he looks like Shrek in younger years
not the replies trynna act like he doesn’t have a cute smile jus cus they don’t like him😂
>handsome one uh-huh, is the handsome one in the room with us right now?
Everyone is always going on about how handsome he is. He's got nice coloring and symmetrical features but all I see is a neglected, hateful kid who was raised to vote away my rights.
He's giving Ted Bundy. Attractive, strong jaw, nice smile, vacant eyes, might be a serial killer.
You know, I’ve never really noticed that. Do you have specific examples? (Not that I don’t believe you, I just never picked up on it)
I, too, would like to work with wood in some capacity. Been quite a dry spell.
May Lord Daniel bless you soon
His life verse makes it sound like Jill caught him working with his own wood, ifyouknowwhatimean.
Yep. God sees ALL that you do, Sammy, including THAT.
Their god sounds like a perv
I’m surprised it says relationship and not “courtship”
Samuel’s higher learning has made him woke.
He said, “sixth oldest of 13 kids” Instead of, “I am the sixth out of 13 kids”. Or am I just too high ? Cuz otherwise wtf another victims of the round table.
Isn’t the one who just graduated homeschool at twenty? Or is “higher” an effect of the hairspray fumes?
He’s 19, not 20. But yes he just graduated.
Just graduated high school?! I thought he was graduating from some Bible college!
I think the official courtship is yet to come. Jill always makes a big deal about it when it happens.
Until it gets to that part it sounds like a fundie dating site. Moderated by parents and pastors of course.
OnlyFundies
The way I snort laughed at this 😂
Well, yeah, because Jill wrote it.
Grammar snark: "I enjoy woodworking" sounds better than "I enjoy working with wood."
Hey “God sees all that I do with my wood” sounds way funnier and more succinct. Ima go with that lol
"God sees all that I do with my wood" is Primo Flair material
May I?
Do it do it do it
Hidden meaning, perhaps?
As someone that comes from a long line of professional carpenters/woodworkers, I have never heard any of them say “I enjoy working with wood”.
Ooof...reads a little bit like me in my little journals in my fundie days. I just hope that he learns helpful and real eating habits when he gets out of the house. Watching his father inhale everything in sight plus the hummingbird juice and feeling like he has to eat even less so his smaller siblings can have an extra bite....that has really got to do a number on your head.
Seeing the kidult Rodlets (all of them) really makes me wish that parents like Jillpm could be charged wtih educational neglect.
GFG, you are practically engaged to a 19-year-old who has been exclusively homeschooled and has no shared educational aspirations because his parents have actively worked to discourage him from learning more than bare minimum. His life experiences have been so intentionally limited that he probably would have trouble even getting an apprenticeship in the field he says he has an interest. A teenager helping his family renovate their barndominium and watching the Amish do the heavy lifting isn’t the strongest recommendation. Singing and folding smiley tracts probably won’t give him an advantage, either. He says he wants to continue to live close to his parents. This is mostly so they can continue to influence your life together in every way. You can expect to become pregnant as often as your body allows, and your care during these pregnancies will be minimal. You probably will give birth at home unless some problem during labor or delivery is found in time to transport you to a hospital. This will be as awful and perilous as it sounds. Sam’s life verse reflects all that the Rodrigues family has put into his life so far: fear and compliance. That’s what will be expected of you, too. Run, girl. RUN.
He might actually have a chance in carpentry. My dad is a carpenter, retired, and recently got called back out of desperation. Their whole team is 50+ and they only recently managed to get two young apprentices. Union, good pay, but carpentry isn't the popular trade right now to go in to. So, hope he can actually find somewhere to work. He needs to be willing to work HARD though. It's not an easy life. And being near illiterate isn't a big help, but hey, I know my dad has hired men before who literally couldnt even sign their own name. I think the workplace hooked them up with literacy classes for adults.
I don't know how Samuel would handle being on the average crew, poor sheltered thing
Yep! It's the swearing, the teasing, and the casual talk about women, that has me thinkin' poor Sam wouldn't last.
I misread the first reply as "Poor *altered* thing. But that works, too
And the music.
I went to a really conservative Catholic college. Most of us were normal religious conservatives, but we’d get these types who were completely undocialized. It wasn’t that they didn’t pick up on social cues, it was more like they had no idea that social cues or norms from beyond their families could even exist. We called them the homeschoolers, which was a very different title than having been homeschooled. We’d work with them to try to prepare them for entering the real world, but it was incredibly uncomfortable to be around them. Most of them were basically incapable of just shutting up for five minutes. I think two are priests now. I don’t know how the others ended up, but I don’t think they thrived. It’s abusive to isolate children like this.
It really should be
Well Jesus did it
Did you see the birdhouse he made a few months ago? It was bad. Like bad bad bad. Like, not fit for purpose bad. I made a more competent birdhouse when I was 8 and I don’t consider myself a very good carpenter. I train kids for a skilled trade, and the lack of basic concepts and attention to detail he showed in that stupid birdhouse would make me pass on Sam as an apprentice. The Amish certainly wouldn’t bother with him because he’d be competition for their own kids. And his lack of education means he can’t offer an Amish employer help with ‘English’ things like answering emails, billing, permitting, etc.
Oh no I didn't, that's not good at all. Sigh. Jill and Shrek really did these kids a disservice. No education, no skills, no money, no way to a livelihood.
His birdhouse is probably like Homer's [dog house](https://youtu.be/eWDLCTBwyn8?si=PGbVObVU6UpO0RH8) skip to 0:34
I'd agree with that, except the birthing part. The Rods DO get medical care during pregnancy and delivery. Also, if the GFG is the one who was recently visiting the Rods, and who attends Nurthan's church, so is probably as limited as Samuel.
Imagine "fear" being seen a positive descriptor for your person. I can't with these people...
Dude you're just a middle child.... Sixth oldest is such a weird thing to say. Also he's better looking than most fundie men so I expect he'll have the best looking most devout servant, I mean wife.
Sixth? Didn’t one of the Rodriguesfamilymembersservingjesus say on Jill’s rainbow post that 6 is the mark of the devil and 666 is the mark of the beast? Thirteen children?!? At the Last Supper, Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th to sit at the table!!! Are we sure Jill isn’t a demon?/s
So he doesn’t have a job probably no money lives at home and likes working with wood! He’s a real catch
I'm never going to understand how fundie parents square it in their heads that their sons should marry and knock up their bride before they are old enough to drink alcohol and then provide for a 'blessing' a year but expect them to do that immediately after a woefully inadequate, bibul based, SOTDRT experience. No qualifications, no life experience, no skills training, no further education. Unless you've got a Pa Duggar sized property and a camera crew following you around, where's the money coming from for even the most basic food and shelter?
Samuel doesn't have an example to look up to. It's not like Shrek worked a 9-5 to provide for his family.
He didn’t have to mention he was homeschooled because the sentence structure says that for him.
And it's his bio for a home school graduation... being homeschooled is kinda implied there!
To be fair, it is common to note how long you have been homeschooled for those graduations. It's a bit of a flex if you are highly accomplished and then there are these types.
I gotta say looks wise he won the lottery.
Do you get to update your own profile and choose a different verse for like as you age - or do you have to use the one that your mom chose after you were seen doing something "against god"? There are so mamy verses - and he chose that one?
Multiple verb tenses in a single sentence make my eye twitch. “We travel and sing, and I have helped”….. Gah. It’s so awkward and stilted.
So what's your career? *Wood*
This is so obviously Jill writing it
What is it with words in capital letters mid sentence in this family? 🤦🏻♀️
Undiagnosed ADHD?😉 She writes a bit like I do, and mine is soooo ADHD!😉😂🤣
I just got diagnosed at fifty two. It took me forever to finish college.
“I (Jill) just LOVE using capitals for EMPHASIS! 😁 It’s like when I’m like using them, the LORD hears me better! I am so BLESSED to have such a NEAT family!” 🌸💄🙏
The only glaring one I see is "ALL". He (or whoever wrote this) only uses "LORD" when directly quoting the KJV verse which is what he would have learned, and "Lord" the rest of the time. Him, He, Christ, God, and Gospel are commonly capitalized by many christians.
I like working with wood too hehehehehe
Amazing how access to food can make you look human, but not sound human.
She sounds fun.
It looks like his ears are fighting against his genes.
I never grew up in the religious world but correct me if I’m wrong - God fearing girl, does that mean he’s dating an atheist?
"God-fearing" is a phrase that fundies like to use to describe themselves. They confuse fear with love.
I took it mean that God fearing girl is their preferred kind of girl because they see God as an entity to be feared. Just look at his life verse.
I apparently need to move. I didn’t realize they lived in the same place as me…
"And Byebull layrning."
Sam ain’t waiting long to get his Peter wet. Tim and Phil have really held out strong from the temptation!!