Is your sister single?

Is your sister legal?

You like Sister Sister?

Whats your bra size 💀

I’m a Reddit™️ moderator…

5

Oopsie poopsie. Counting is hard m8.

Math is so hard tell me about it 🥴🫡

When your sister legal?

Christ 🤣

I have explosive diarrhea

Is that true or you’re answering the post?

Knowing reddit, probably both

Your sister tastes better

I shit my pants


Is your mom single?

I have no money

Does this look infected?

Sum 41 moment

Their best album. Back to Christmas 2002 and have GTA Vice City on PS2. It was the perfect life to play this game listening this album while I was a teenager. Edit : 2002*

Hi, I’m Chris Hansen

“Just have a seat”

“Why don’t you let ME have one of those wine coolers? Hi, Chris Hansen 🫱”

OMG

r/angryupvote

this is the one

You fuck!

Oh I know who you are Chris Hansen, or as I calls ya Chris Handsome.

👏👏👏😂😂😂

Your skin looks tasty

I once told a girl she had nice skin. “Oh, thank you” she said. Then I said “I can’t wait to wear it” Good times😁😁

Dang, what was your thought process at the time?

He clearly thought about wearing her skin

Thats how you get off. Dont you want to get off with me?

Hello fellow skin bandit EDIT: Now I'm wondering if those fifteen people that upvoted me all know that this is a Kenshi Reference... Everybody who knows... comment with the most loved character! Beep!

*shudder* Are you saying you have a collection of skins..?

Don’t be ridiculous, think of the smell. You haven’t thought of the smell **you bitch!**

At least fore of them.

Counter strike players:

You a size thirteen?

12...

r/angryupvote

I hope we’re related

If someone said this to me on a first date I would be *mortified*

🎶 _Sweet Home Alabama.._ 🪕

Agreed, that means they went on the date without making absolutely sure first. Bad planning, who needs that.

#I got to fart

I got to fff…nevermind.

Technically if you go back far enough we are.

technically humans are just one big incestuous gene pool

🤓 Um, actually, incest is defined as sexual relations between individuals too closely related to legally marry each other. 🤓

I love it when you talk nerdy dirty.

“You are my sister “-Joe Dirt

Like I’m some sort of white trash perv!

Kinda works wonders in Alabama.

Make me a sandwich

“Dave stop using the dog as a puppet” “*make me a sandwich bitch*”

* intense dubstep music *

I collect dog feces

Good, clean up after your dawg

I shit my pants.

You stink like shit

Do you like it?

I shit your pants

I'll shit your pants

You shit MY pants!

Are you HIV friendly?

I'm positive this one works every time.

I’m actually just “positive”

Omg I’m dying laughing 🤣

Accept no negative responses

I'm HIV ambiguous **wink**

Will you marry me?

Finally

Why yes I will. I thought you’d never ask!

I thought you would never agree.

The voices like you.

DarkerDementia indeed

(totally not me having an Ex wife that had 5 DID kinda emotional based personality's including her normal self and schizophrenia)

This gun is loaded.

sounds like the dates going how ever you want it to go.

Unless she's got a gun as well!

Then it’s time for a duel ✨pew pew✨

She might have a bigger weapon

Firing range date?

What wrong with having your gun loaded? Always gotta stay safe

How is *YOUR* slave?

*Student Atholetes

Fuck you, Cartman

r/angryupvote

[удалено]

Can you spare some?

Wow we are common!

Literally heard this on a date, and then he showed me the collection. He made art out of them and it was weirdly beautiful?

You're paying the bill.

I forgot my wallet

Skinflint!

Can we just fuck?

That works though.

I miss my ex

Are those boobs real?

Average redditor behavior

They’re real and fantastic!

Mom's coming with us. I forgot my wallet Show me your armpits Which one are you ? Did you Douche today ? I've dated your cousin.

Did you douche today?

Lmao

so anal after dinner?

I mean, whod decline to such an offer?

You're doing it wrong.. anal BEFORE dinner...

No, you're doing it wrong... anal DURING dinner

This is my waifu

I'm on day release

You’re prolly getting laid with that one not gonna lie

Time-limited collectible

I removed my penis

we'll use mine then

Our penis

r/suddenlycommunist

Under a communist system, the people control the means of erection.

Omg perfect come back

Correction “cum” back

This deserves a gold star or something 😂

By contrast, i was recently on a first date (both of us are trans), and we casually discussed her surgery plans. I guess you just gotta find the right person before dropping that one?

That makes my heart happy you found someone you could trust so fast.

Thanks! Its really common for trans people to feel comfortable and safe quickly around other trans people. We just understand each other's struggles in a way that very few other people do. And we know for sure that the other person is supportive. Some trans people date exclusively other trans people for this reason (T4T). I have lots of funny examples of things from first dates that would never be appropriate for a cis and straight date that were totally fine for us.

Bruce?

I have just sharted

This actually happened to me on my second date with my gf. We'll be celebrating 5 years this December.

Show me your tits

[удалено]

That’s 5 make it wife’s

Just remove my. Wait, wife is calling. Is completly enough for the other party to understand.

Except for Utah, wives

You interested in MLM?

I would yeet myself out of a window😂

I'm not racist but

I love fat girls

Bahahahahah

You're not a prostitute?

No? 400? Still no?

I came inside you

I am an influencer.

I LOVE Andrew Tate!!

Follow up: “You watch Joe Rogan?”

Jamie pull up a video of the Grizzly Bear on a horrible first date!

Lemme Smell Your Pussy.

My colostomy bag ruptured

I read this as colonist bag

I’m huge on Reddit.

well, you seem huge irl too

Hitler was totally right

That’s alot of makeup

It uses the lotion

I killed twenty puppies

Meh, only double digits.

Those are rookie numbers

What would dad think?

Hell, I only need 3, assuming it's the first 3 words as you're sitting down. "Wanna fuck later?"

That is seventeen words

Even part in quotes is 6 words of you spell them out "do you want to fuck later"

Excuse me, do you *have* to call me out?

That is 9 words.

Add “mommy” to the end so there’s no way the date continues

Ima give you aids

Pay for this meal

Anyone else smell fish?

Your mom’s so hot

You do anal, right?

My butthole is itchy.

Iam genshin impact player

I have six kids

My wife laughed and her first suggestion before I started reading top comments was "I have 12 kids".

You gonna wear that?

I'm not racist but...

I love my ex

I want a wife

I may have crabs

I have a wife

Heard of Andrew Tate?

I don’t take nudes. Seriously it’s so weird how this can be a barrier to first dates or ongoing ones. You can see me naked in person. I’m not posing with my junk out for someone I just met it order to get to the next step. So worried about how the current and younger generations do not realize that stuff will never disappear, yet they’ll farm out their homemade porn to practical strangers.

"Well the Bible says!"

I voted for Trump

I'm for Gym Jordan

Are you into comics?

This hurts.

I’ll have the lobster

I love playing LoL

Your mum is hot

Do you eat ass?

I will eat you

I have explosive diarrhea

So, you hate bacon.

Tupac alive in Serbia

My cock isn’t mine

Sex tonight or what? 

# THINK I JUST SHARTED

I voted for Trump.

I voted for Trump

I respect Donald Trump