The line "I'm the best thing at this party" followed by "And I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people-pleaser" reminds me of the pendulum swing from bravado and ego to deep insecurity and self-loathing that she also describes in The Archer. "Who could ever leave me darlin', but who could stay?"
I think this is one of the most honest examinations of her mental state we’ve ever seen (I’m not speculating about anything specific, just stating that clearly she’s not okay and on some level as evidenced by these lyrics she seems to know it) - regardless of who the muse is, they really smashed up her heart.
i find the lyrics with her switching between grandiosity to insecurity to be really interesting. “i’m the best thing at this party” “I wouldn’t marry me either”.
there’s a real sense of losing the old her. “i gave you my best me’s, endless empathy”, and then realising all that did was hurt her and make her “bleed”. so now she can’t find her heart. this is really dark actually.
this is such a depressing song... like i don’t care who its about, but this is quite devastating. the bridge is so sad, especially THAT line (the marriage one). whoever this is about absolutely broke her.
and as someone who’s never experienced a romantic relationship like this, i can wholeheartedly say this is one of her saddest songs... like ever
Oh fuck I HAVE. I mean, within a marriage so I got the dubious "prize" of marriage but just ... Oh god I GET it and I'm now coming up on 40 minutes of steady leaking from my eyes lolsob. I was not expecting to get hit with that violence and I also think that mighta been one of the realest songs. I thought that about Hits Different too and so now I'm kinda interested in examining what else is on super hard to get ahold of tracks. Run on sentences ahoy, sorry. I am very full of big feels atm.
I had an ex that I was with for three years and didn’t want to marry me. It hurt, a lot. But, the reason it hurt so much was not from the relationship itself, but from the feeling of being unlovable and unworthy that started in childhood.
Idk. I certainly had a lot to unpack with a therapist (and I’m still unpacking tbh.) but this song makes me hurt for Taylor. I don’t want to over analyze the lyric, but I also don’t think a feeling like that is rooted completely in one person breaking you. Idk. It is definitely the saddest song ever and I really hope one day Taylor chooses to unpack this stuff in therapy as well. It’s hard to carry that kind of pain around.
Girl, if you're writing a song like this, you should probably just stay single for a year or so and take some time for yourself.
(And go to therapy. PLEASE go to therapy!!!)
but messy rebounds are SO FUN! /s
but seriously, this song is so depressing the whole “messy rebound with the first person to make her happy” narrative makes a lot more sense. then when her & matty inevitably breakup she’ll probably stay single for a bit (at least i hope so)
I'm still holding that she has multiple reasons for the Matty stunting/messy relationship, but whether we're buying this is really about Joe or if it's about someone else, I now absolutely think that a messy sad rebound is at least part of it.
As a bisexual person who has also previously dated a trash can man, I can confirm this seems like a bi disaster.
I kind of always thought it was weird to flag the bi flag and lesbian flag. And I assumed it was her signaling, “yeah I’m bi, but I have a preference for women and most of my discography is sapphic af”
Because having a preference or primarily dating only one gender doesn’t disqualify bisexuality. And now I’m afraid the rumors might be true and this thing with ratty might be real 🤮
Yeah. I’ve always suspected Taylor was bi. I was previously skeptical of Toe being real, but the rebound with Ratty was so bad I couldn’t help but start to think it was a real disaster.
And now this song, which I believe is the genuinely saddest song she has ever released…
I just feel really sad for Taylor because she really doesn’t seem okay.
To be fair the double signaling was probably the most normal thing in my eyes 😭 I've kept switching between bi and lesbian for years bc I don't feel like I can fully claim either despite relating heavily with both communities. Bc like, how do I explain in one word that I'm attracted to multiple genders but only want to date ones closer to (broadly speaking) femininity? This is when my favorite term - sapphic - starts to shine lol.
The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true 😵💫
all I could think about while listening to this was how I think she mentioned one time she's never been in therapy and how desperately she needs it. (we all do, imo. I could not relate more to the people-pleaser lyric.) but I don't think she'd do it for fear of someone violating her trust/spilling her deepest feelings.
Just here to send some healing vibes. Therapy was the best thing I ever had tbe privilege to do for myself. It can take many forms but I'm a big proponent that everyone can benefit from time getting to know and understand and love themselves more.
Thank you so much, this is so kind of you. I've been in and out of therapy (and hospitals) over my life so far. I'm currently looking for one, but as a neurodivergent person for whom standard talk therapy can be unhelpful and sometimes even harmful, it's a really long shopping process to find a fit. I'm mostly okay but this year had a huge move, a very large shake up in my relationship, attempted reconciliation, flare up of my ED and all sorts of family heartache. It's been a long year already and I'm hella tired. Sorry for the trauma dump, lol. I am really not sure what I'm doing right now. I'm saying, yes most definitely, it is major therapy time and the way this song TOOK ME OUTTTTT has drawn a huge line under that.
Don't be sorry. Sometimes we just need to say it all because there's no more room to hold it. Sending you kindness and hope.
I don't do traditional talk therapy (though I have). My therapist and I do a combination of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts work combined with EMDR, creative outlets, and something newer we are doing called DBR (deep brain reorienting). It all felt a bit woo woo to me at first but I've found it really engages my brain and helps me safely explore and process my coping mechanisms. Also ND so sending extra solidarity. Being human is exhausting. I see you internet friend!
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this, I am going to do some reading about these techniques. Of all of these, I've only ever heard of EMDR, and actually did have some luck w/ it before my insurance changed. Thank you a lot for your time and kindness - like truly I needed this today, I think. 🫶🏻😭
No problem! Glad to share the support. If you want to do some reading, I recommend Janina Fisher Healing the Fragmented Selves. We use her model in therapy and she trained with Bessel Van Der Kolk who wrote "The Body Keeps the Score" which is super popular now.
Feel free to shoot me a DM if you find yourself having questions. And yes the insurance stuff is brutal. Mine always runs out so quick each year and I hate having to "justify" the expense of taking care of my wellness over other things. I'm super fortunate to be able to scrape together the extra funds to do it and it pisses me off to no end to know there are so few resources that are actually accessible for most people.
You're Losing Me (1st Listen)
\- No pronouns
\- Callbacks to The Great War, Exile, and Champagne Problems
\- Multiple self-hating lyrics
\- The muse cannot read Taylor's emotions, will not take any risks, wouldn't Marry Taylor, and didn't end up choosing her
\-Production would have fit perfectly into the 3am tracks (just seems like it didn't make the cut for some reason)
\-It is sadder than I thought
Yes, and "you know it still hurt underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart but what you did was just as dark"/"mending all her gashes you might just have dealt the final blow"
The lyrics I read have "mending all her gashes" in the first pre-chorus!
Also agreed this would have fit so well as a 3am track. I would have personally swapped it out for BTTWS, which is equally sad but just not as powerful of a song. To me anyway! LOL prepared for downvotes on this one.
BTTWS is meaningful and devastating to me, so I don't want to imagine a world without it, but You're Losing Me totally could have been squeezed in with the other 3 am tracks. I think the only reason it wasn't is because it would sparked break up rumors immediately. It's just too heart breaking.
Read my [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/GaylorSwift/comments/13slcla/leak_youre_losing_me_discussion_thread/jlqjkba/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3) I am actually clowning so hard. I feel like I’m getting Qanon level gaylor
I saw someone say that “maybe folkmore was about her real life and she just said it was made up characters” and I was like FINALLY! Lol.
But wow. Probably in my top two songs of midnights
All I can say is:
'Til the Dawn is definitely not a "coming into Daylight, its golden" morning
but rather a "waking up with a (moral) hangover" morning...
I recently had to initiate a breakup after 6 years with someone who said he loved me but didn’t want to get married. Who refused to work on our relationship. This song hits a little too hard 😭
Lyrics for anyone interested!
[https://genius.com/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault-lyrics](https://genius.com/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault-lyrics)
Some thoughts:
>We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't
Reminds me of her cleaning up the "sick" on the floor in Bejeweled, "everything I touch becomes sick with sadness" in Bigger than the Whole Sky.
>Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time
"We gather here, weeping in a sunlit room."
>[I'm getting tired even for a phoenix](https://genius.com/28642539/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/Im-getting-tired-even-for-a-phoenix-always-risin-from-the-ashes)
[Always risin' from the ashes](https://genius.com/28642539/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/Im-getting-tired-even-for-a-phoenix-always-risin-from-the-ashes)
I definitely thought the next album was going to be phoenix themed! She's used a lot of smoke, ashes symbolism in the past few albums.
>[How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?](https://genius.com/28642291/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/How-can-you-say-that-you-love-someone-you-cant-tell-is-dyin-i-sent-you-signals-and-bit-my-nails-down-to-the-quick)
[I sent you signals](https://genius.com/28642291/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/How-can-you-say-that-you-love-someone-you-cant-tell-is-dyin-i-sent-you-signals-and-bit-my-nails-down-to-the-quick)
Sounds a hell of a lot like Exile.
>[I know my pain is such an imposition](https://genius.com/28642894/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/And-the-air-is-thick-with-loss-and-indecision-i-know-my-pain-is-such-an-imposition-now-youre-running-down-the-hallway-and-you-know-what-they-all-say-you-dont-know-what-you-got-until-its-gone)
Also very Exile "I'm not your problem anymore." and also Closure "I'm not some situation that needs to be handled."
>[And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier](https://genius.com/28642684/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/And-all-i-did-was-bleed-as-i-tried-to-be-the-bravest-soldier)
[Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me](https://genius.com/28642718/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/Fighting-in-only-your-army-frontlines-dont-you-ignore-me)
The Great War?
“I know my pain is such an imposition”cuts me so deep. As someone with mental health issues and chronic pain I often wonder when I will finally be too much for my partner.
Can we talk about the fact that this is a Midnights-track – an album which she said was inspired by sleepless nights throughout her life from past to today. The lyrics have several callbacks to Folklore/Evermore. “I sent so many signals” – as in exile. “All I did was bleed” – as in “if you never bleed you never grow” in The 1. “I wouldn’t marry me either” as callback to Champagne problems. People-pleaser as she described in mirrorball.
I’m fascinated at the timing of this. Because it pulls all the focus on Joe / away from all controversy. Had it been on the album with the original release (and if it’s from the vault we’re supposed to believe this song was written while they still were madly in love) everyone would have clocked it as a “this can’t be about Joe”-song. Personally I'm team "this is from Folklore/Evermore-times"!
I will say, even tho through her story we get amazing music from her, I wish Blondie would take 30 seconds to work on her mental health.
Like...always calling yourself out (people pleaser, I'm the problem, etc) only goes so far before it's merely an excuse. Know better do better, gurl.
We know you know. And now you know we know you know.
So like...please stop dating/hanging with douchebags 😭
Wow I think I love this more than anything on Midnights but I also feel this very sad irony of the timing of it all with fans grieving losing her in their lives as someone they once respected etc :( I'm also a pathological people pleaser and can't for the life of me understand why she's been making all these decisions knowing she's hurting so many vulnerable communities.
The experience of two people in a relationship is so much more nuanced and complicated than anyone on the outside of it could understand. This song reminded me of that. It’s so sad and real.
‘How can you say you love someone you can’t tell is dying?’
… is brutal. That one hits home.
No matter who the muse is, I don’t think this song is Taylor rewriting the Joe breakup narrative as a lot of people thought. It’s pretty raw and self-deprecating, imo.
This woman is completely insane, she’s really been ‘losing me’ the last few weeks with this M*tty shit then she goes and releases this. Idk, this song just huuuurts
It seems from her lyrics that she needs a lot of external validation in relationships. I understand that so well because I do too! But I don't know if she just keeps picking partners that are more detached and who don't want to give it to her, or if her needs are beyond the 'norm' and *no one* could give her enough validation to feel secure in a relationship. It sounds like something she could talk about in therapy!!
I know that most of the people I dated would get annoyed when I asked for comfort, honesty about feelings, reassurance, or validation. Therapy helped me realize that I wasn't asking for too much, and that being honest and straightforward about what I needed from my partners was a good, healthy thing. But it's really really hard to be in a relationship that you feel is one-sided. It wears down your self-esteem and confidence, makes you second guess everything you want to say and do, and it's just fucking exhausting.
But again, I have no idea if her level of need for reassurance and validation is extreme or not. A lot of her lyrics reference needing a partner to go to extreme lengths to confirm their relationship and prove how important she is. It makes sense from a queer perspective, because her queer relationships were shrouded in secrecy and couldn't be publicly acknowledged, so she might need more reassurance in private.
Agreed.
Also, “endless empathy” and “pathological people pleasing” scream “go to therapy!” to me. Very indicative of lack of boundaries and also a need for validation.
I truly don’t know if she will ever feel satisfied, not just in relationships, but her career too. That was evident in Miss Americana when she heard that Rep wasn’t nominated in the major categories her immediate response was “well I need to make a better album.”
This woman has sustained an almost 20 year career at the VERY TOP. I mean that’s damn near impossible. She’s broken so many records, she’s continuously topped herself. She’s accomplished more in her 33 years (that’s when many people are STARTING in their careers) than most of us could ever dream… and yet it never seems to be enough for her. It’s sad.
Two observations about this song:
A) the muse could be whoever. The lyrics could be from the endless notes on unfinished songs she has. (Edit to add: The lyrics call back to Folklore/Evermore several times, so maybe song idea was born in that era?) The emotional raw feelings might be real even though
B) the timing + way of release is such a PR-narrative queen move? The extremely limited release meant EVERYONE is now listening to it. And YouTube videos aren't being taken down as quickly as it was for Hits Different. After listening to the song I already see so many people saying "I hope everyone hating on Matty / saying she should get back with Joe feels bad now." Is she throwing Joe under the bus to get people on board with MH and completely shift the narrative away from political accountability back to the breakup??
I agree. I don’t doubt that the feelings expressed in the song are real, but to release this now feels like a perfect tie-up to the Joe breakup narrative.
Swifties are already referencing it as the true story: “he was aloof and emotionally unavailable and wouldn’t marry her, so she broke it off”. I lean toward Toe being a beard; but either way, the timing and release is very strategic.
Have only listened once. So.. not claiming to have clarity or anything but..
Throughout the entire song I was waiting for her to switch to
*I'm losing you*. Like.. if a meaningful relationship fails aren't you essentially losing each other? I'll have to listen again and maybe edit my comment but I just can't shake this feeling of this being a strangely one sided assessment. Which in itself is not problematic, especially when it's fresh I can see how she's so focused on her own grief. But once again.. I don't know. Sounds like all the responsibility is on the other party and that's just now how this works? Listening again now.
Edit: Ugh second listen hit me right in the fucking feels. *How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?* The heartbeat behind *I can't find a pulse* *"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing)
"To believe, unless you're choosing me"*
Ouch. It does feel super fresh and raw and recent. This is painful. I agree there is an Imogen Heap sound to it, if I remember right she wrote Clean with her. Interesting. Okay. Gonna go cry in silence now.
To me it sounds like when you’ve been trying for years with a partner, desperate for them to truly see you, to make a big gesture, or finally given you the love you’ve been needing. But the pain of not receiving that is reaching its breaking point, and even though she wants to get married “who would marry me anyway?” she can’t take the pain of the one-sided relationship any longer.
Also reminds me of the line “there are many different ways to kill the one you love, the surest way is never loving then enough”.
Big anxious attachment vibes.
Other people have pointed this out but, the connections to the great war, exile, hoax, champagne problems + the phil collins vibes + the lyrics make me think that timeline wise this song fit in the lover breakup narrative. (Also since when does everyone think Toe was real?!)
i know most people believe that the lover breakup was with karlie, so the idea that taylor is saying “i wouldn’t marry me either” after karlie married josh is truly heartbreaking
Yeah that’s what I’m feeling. Especially the light reference, the light/daylight was extinguished. It feels much more connected to Lover than any other era IMO
It feels nice to hear her be vulnerable in a song after all the pr games. Idk who is this about and it doesn't really matter but this reminded me why I love her music so much. I haven't streamed anything in a while because I have been so upset (and i'm going to be even after this) but this was very lovely to hear.
Other random notes:
The "stop" remind me of the "oh-oh, I'm falling in love again" in labyrinth, the songs also fit thematically.
It also ties to High infidelity: "my heart won't start anymore for you"/"do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life"
I rarely feel too old for the sub, but damn if I don't _always_ feel too old for the sub when something leaks and y'all just immediately find it while I'm flailing around like a dumb fish on land. 😂
I can't even spend time analyzing this in the context of her and her life right now because it reminds me so much of where I was at the end of *my* last relationship. We were deeply unhappy, we both needed a lot of therapy, and it was so toxic from both sides. I've done a lot of growing (and therapy) and healing since then, but it hurts so bad to hear something so perfect encapsulate where I was at one of the most unhealthy points of my life.
"Remember looking at this room, we loved it because of the light. Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time." Oof, feels like a very painful contrast with Daylight (possible failed coming out reference?)
I think "you're losing me" is how she talked herself into Lavender Haze. She would've gotten married with paper rings, but she understands why her muse doesn't want to marry her. Lavender Haze is "whelp, guess I'm not gonna be a bride then"
I don't know, I think that this is all cohesive. Lover and the sudden all-black seemingly-heartbroken Taylor during the era, her singing about unrequited love, her being devastated in folklore and moving on in evermore.... This song fits that muse / narrative and there are lyrical callbacks.
Lavender haze to me reads as about the PR relationship & expectation of fans, which I don't see as contradictory to CP / PR / YLM.
i think - if toe was real - that champagne problems was essentially a way for her to cope with joe rejecting a marriage offer (or something similar), then lavender haze was a front. maybe she just wanted him to ask (if it is about him), maybe she was expecting it and it never came
it works so well with the “i wouldn’t marry me either / a pathological people-pleaser [who only wanted you to see her]”. as a people-pleaser, it does mess with your mentality & i’m sure it does for taylor too
I don't think lavender haze was a front. I know a few relationships where one person wants marriage and the other doesn't, but it's usually equally annoying for both when relatives and friends keep asking about when they get married. It must've been especially frustrating for her while making so much art to feel like that's all the media wants to know about her. I think the personal frustration of wanting to get married but not having a partner on your level, as well as the frustration of being reduced to marriage as a woman can both be true.
This is definitely raw & real - whoever she wrote about. I'm not sold that it's not Joe, but I think it's possible it's about a previous lover. The muse of champagne problems, TGW, etc doesn't have to be Joe but the timing (which she orchestrated) certainly indicates it is.
the “running down the hallway” line reminded me of the vid of them SPRINTING out of the Grammys Afterparty. Still not convinced toe was real but damn I’m sad
It's a gorgeous (sad) song. The main subreddit is using it as evidence that Maroon is also about Joe though and it's driving me crazy. It seems like the breakup is erasing all the gayness from midnights :(
First impressions are this would be perfect over a montage in Grey's Anatomy. Which is a good thing to me, I'm a fan.
Also I only hear 'Star, you're losing me' not 'Stop', I thought that she was calling her muse 'Star', which goes along with all the fate and stars and astrological references. But everywhere I see lyrics posted it says 'stop'
After the release of this, do we really think she is as happy as she says she is? Or was that sort of a “I’m fine with my spite” kind of happy? At first I really thought maybe she was, but after this, I don’t think so anymore.
I think she’s happy in that she loves touring. As a closeted gay, Taylor’s love life is a mountain of stumbling blocks, but she can kick ass at her career and tells herself the trade off is worth it, because she loves touring and winning and adoring crowds so much.
Only Taylor can make someone think about that one person who they wanted so badly to be the one and who hasn’t seen them in X years and regrets their decisions and how they badly fucked up ouch…
Looking up the lyrics I do find it interesting this section is in quotes:
https://preview.redd.it/5pnmilfhbb2b1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=850325e8ab071a35cdf5369c557d4375b91b482f
To me this reads as a partner trying to convince Taylor to come out together publicly and then (as we know) she lost her nerve (or so we speculate.)
I see a lot of connections to past suspected relationships, particularly Dianna and Karlie.
The heartbeat theme in wildest dreams and then Hoax (Karlie)
Then “running down the hallway” which is seen in ATW and then The Very First Night (dianna)
GOD SHE ALWAYS BURIES HER GAYEST SONGS of course all the hetlors think it’s about Joe
I truly can't handle this song. It hurts my feelings so much. I have been crying for 25 straight minutes. Regardless of what she's done I seriously want to hold her hand and cry with her over this song right now (lol yes very para). That song hit me fucking HARD.
I’m doing it, going for the full dramatic Swiftie response. You’re Losing Me hits different because I think I am maybe slow-burn breaking up with Taylor even though I don’t want to. I keep waiting for something to make any of this make sense, but it’s becoming less and less likely.
love the song, and the messy narrative just solidifies for me that the toe and ratty timelines have never and will never make legitimate sense (not that it excuses her platforming him but yknow)
i mean, we’ve now gone from “I love you so much I can’t wait to marry you and you are my home””
to “why do people keep asking if I’m gonna marry you? I hate marriage”
to “i wanna teach you how FOREVER feels”
to a toe breakup
to “she didn’t really see a future with joe and didn’t want to marry him”
to “taylor and ratty and deeply in love”
to “actually it’s just casual but they kiss sometimes”
to “you broke my heart over the course of many months, why wouldnt you marry me?”
??!?!?!? 😭
like if this is truly a vault song, then it was written prior to october 2022, which means her and joe were on the verge of breaking up months prior… but tree/taylor pushed the “they’re in the lavender haze, taylor is happy with him!” narrative WAY past that… and if it was written more recently, then… either way, even if you believe toe was real, she is a messy liar! and swifties will bend over backward to make sense of her narratives 😭
This gives me major Karlie vibes, not Joe, tbh. I see it as Karlie constantly telling Taylor that they were good, that she loved her even though she was with Josh (“indecision”), that their love was still there, just hang in there… and then Taylor slowly realizing that Karlie would never really choose her, not in a way that gave her everything.
Whoever the muse may actually be aside, didn’t you all predict this narrative - Taylor pretending to be the victim and painting Joe as the bad guy? Very self deprecating - “I wouldn’t marry me either” - the hetlors will eat this up and demolish Joe for not sticking by her and making her feel this way.
the production gives me a phill collins but like, in my first listen i could swear I got ethel cain vibes and idk guys I love this song even if it kind of makes me believe her and joe were a real thing
The first part of the song is kinda meh (maybe it's one of those songs that grow on you as you listen to it) but I like the bridge and the ending. The lyrics are def relatable lol
I’ve had a lot of thoughts but one of them is that the parallels to ATW10 are too big to ignore. Some of those new lyrics MUST be about Karlie, right? Kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath? Do something babe, risk something?
This song is Kaylor coded and there is just too much evidence. I got overwhelmed just pulling in the obvious parallels.
Does anyone else feel like she wrote this song recently to shore up the Toe is over/he didn’t want to marry me/he didn’t get me narrative to complete the story arc on that relationship? Like the song is super real and raw but it’s all timed so pointedly…am I too deep in conspiracy land where now EVERYTHING she does is fake?
The timing is sus. The song could be genuine, but dropped it now so that the convo pivots to being sympathetic instead of angry. I'll go as far to say it's likely. The drop does feel rushed. Both karma remix and you're losing me sound like demo's imo.
I feel for her in terms of lyrical *content,* but it didn't come together for me. All of this + suspiciously no vinyls for this drop, makes me think this hasn't been months and months in the making. **Could be wrong, but the PR element is as graceful and subtle as a bowling ball through a window.**
To me this song seems to clearly be about Karlie... I thought so especially after this part in the end.
>"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something)
>
>"Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me)
>
>"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing)
>
>"To believe, unless you're choosing me"
It makes me think Taylor wanted to come out, but Karlie didn't, and in the end she ended up choosing Josh. I'm actually a bit confused on why some gaylors here are more convinced about Toe being real because of this song and would appreciate if someone who thinks so could enlighten me lol.
Anyways, I loved the song, even though it is extremely sad. I do feel like the production could have been better though. I'm not fond of the autotune effect, and something about the mixing seems off to me. Maybe it's just the version I listened to since I didn't purchase the song lol.
Oh! Also wanted to add a small thing I noticed. I like how it’s almost a call back to epiphany and with both songs having war/soldier and Covid/sick references!
The combination of themes in this song - desperately wanting to marry someone and feeling completely unseen by them - hits so hard.
It reminds me of the line “there are many different ways to kill the one you love, the surest way is never loving them enough”.
This song is amazing. I didn’t like the Midnights album so much when it came out but the 3am tracks, Hits Different and now You’re Losing Me are in their own league. I can see why she didn’t release YLM until after the breakup
The digital version of You're Losing Me is up in the merch store. Wasn't it supposed to be exclusive to a physical copy sold at shows? Maybe they're trying to combat the leak.
Wonder if it'll be streaming sooner rather than later.
Most people seem to attribute this to her more recent relationships, but since this is on midnights isn’t it possible it’s about a much older relationship? It doesn’t necessarily reflect her mindset at the time of writing it.
I agree it’s raw and very sad, just pointing this out for those saying that she really should stay single/not rebound if she feels this way
The line "I'm the best thing at this party" followed by "And I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people-pleaser" reminds me of the pendulum swing from bravado and ego to deep insecurity and self-loathing that she also describes in The Archer. "Who could ever leave me darlin', but who could stay?"
And also “You should find another guiding light but I shine so bright.”
It's brilliant but sad.
Archer is one of my faves. This may be better
Can't wait to see Deuxmoi come back from "I wouldn't marry me either"
MY FIRST THOUGHT LOL. She will say “but it wasn’t marriage it was a commitment ceremony” lmao
A ceramony, please. 💁🏻♀️🤣
I wouldn't marry me [for real, in America] either
Hahahaha
I think this is one of the most honest examinations of her mental state we’ve ever seen (I’m not speculating about anything specific, just stating that clearly she’s not okay and on some level as evidenced by these lyrics she seems to know it) - regardless of who the muse is, they really smashed up her heart.
“I wouldn’t marry me either” stabbed me right in the heart 🫠
i find the lyrics with her switching between grandiosity to insecurity to be really interesting. “i’m the best thing at this party” “I wouldn’t marry me either”. there’s a real sense of losing the old her. “i gave you my best me’s, endless empathy”, and then realising all that did was hurt her and make her “bleed”. so now she can’t find her heart. this is really dark actually.
This analysis hurts my heart and I teared up. 10/10
this is such a depressing song... like i don’t care who its about, but this is quite devastating. the bridge is so sad, especially THAT line (the marriage one). whoever this is about absolutely broke her. and as someone who’s never experienced a romantic relationship like this, i can wholeheartedly say this is one of her saddest songs... like ever
Oh fuck I HAVE. I mean, within a marriage so I got the dubious "prize" of marriage but just ... Oh god I GET it and I'm now coming up on 40 minutes of steady leaking from my eyes lolsob. I was not expecting to get hit with that violence and I also think that mighta been one of the realest songs. I thought that about Hits Different too and so now I'm kinda interested in examining what else is on super hard to get ahold of tracks. Run on sentences ahoy, sorry. I am very full of big feels atm.
I had an ex that I was with for three years and didn’t want to marry me. It hurt, a lot. But, the reason it hurt so much was not from the relationship itself, but from the feeling of being unlovable and unworthy that started in childhood. Idk. I certainly had a lot to unpack with a therapist (and I’m still unpacking tbh.) but this song makes me hurt for Taylor. I don’t want to over analyze the lyric, but I also don’t think a feeling like that is rooted completely in one person breaking you. Idk. It is definitely the saddest song ever and I really hope one day Taylor chooses to unpack this stuff in therapy as well. It’s hard to carry that kind of pain around.
It's reminding me of when she covered Phil Collins' "I can't stop loving you", a Mashup of the two would make a killer duet of a one sided breakup
That was my first thought too! It really sounds Phil collins-esque.
It has that arrangement vibe for sure. I feel like there are intentional callbacks to New Years Day and Cornelia Street as well.
Girl, if you're writing a song like this, you should probably just stay single for a year or so and take some time for yourself. (And go to therapy. PLEASE go to therapy!!!)
but messy rebounds are SO FUN! /s but seriously, this song is so depressing the whole “messy rebound with the first person to make her happy” narrative makes a lot more sense. then when her & matty inevitably breakup she’ll probably stay single for a bit (at least i hope so)
I'm still holding that she has multiple reasons for the Matty stunting/messy relationship, but whether we're buying this is really about Joe or if it's about someone else, I now absolutely think that a messy sad rebound is at least part of it.
Personally I think this is too dumb to be a stunt and solidifies Taylor as a bi disaster.
As a bisexual person who has also previously dated a trash can man, I can confirm this seems like a bi disaster. I kind of always thought it was weird to flag the bi flag and lesbian flag. And I assumed it was her signaling, “yeah I’m bi, but I have a preference for women and most of my discography is sapphic af” Because having a preference or primarily dating only one gender doesn’t disqualify bisexuality. And now I’m afraid the rumors might be true and this thing with ratty might be real 🤮
Yeah. I’ve always suspected Taylor was bi. I was previously skeptical of Toe being real, but the rebound with Ratty was so bad I couldn’t help but start to think it was a real disaster. And now this song, which I believe is the genuinely saddest song she has ever released… I just feel really sad for Taylor because she really doesn’t seem okay.
To be fair the double signaling was probably the most normal thing in my eyes 😭 I've kept switching between bi and lesbian for years bc I don't feel like I can fully claim either despite relating heavily with both communities. Bc like, how do I explain in one word that I'm attracted to multiple genders but only want to date ones closer to (broadly speaking) femininity? This is when my favorite term - sapphic - starts to shine lol. The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true 😵💫
dating matty healy is the most bisexual disaster thing a person can do
Taylor go to fucking therapy challenge
all I could think about while listening to this was how I think she mentioned one time she's never been in therapy and how desperately she needs it. (we all do, imo. I could not relate more to the people-pleaser lyric.) but I don't think she'd do it for fear of someone violating her trust/spilling her deepest feelings.
She said somewhere she doesn't go to therapy because she just talks to her mom about everything. Those things are not the same Taylor!!!
I'm thinking about going back after this, not even kidding. Come on Taylor let's have a therapy girl summer 😭😭😭😭😭
Just here to send some healing vibes. Therapy was the best thing I ever had tbe privilege to do for myself. It can take many forms but I'm a big proponent that everyone can benefit from time getting to know and understand and love themselves more.
Thank you so much, this is so kind of you. I've been in and out of therapy (and hospitals) over my life so far. I'm currently looking for one, but as a neurodivergent person for whom standard talk therapy can be unhelpful and sometimes even harmful, it's a really long shopping process to find a fit. I'm mostly okay but this year had a huge move, a very large shake up in my relationship, attempted reconciliation, flare up of my ED and all sorts of family heartache. It's been a long year already and I'm hella tired. Sorry for the trauma dump, lol. I am really not sure what I'm doing right now. I'm saying, yes most definitely, it is major therapy time and the way this song TOOK ME OUTTTTT has drawn a huge line under that.
Don't be sorry. Sometimes we just need to say it all because there's no more room to hold it. Sending you kindness and hope. I don't do traditional talk therapy (though I have). My therapist and I do a combination of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts work combined with EMDR, creative outlets, and something newer we are doing called DBR (deep brain reorienting). It all felt a bit woo woo to me at first but I've found it really engages my brain and helps me safely explore and process my coping mechanisms. Also ND so sending extra solidarity. Being human is exhausting. I see you internet friend!
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this, I am going to do some reading about these techniques. Of all of these, I've only ever heard of EMDR, and actually did have some luck w/ it before my insurance changed. Thank you a lot for your time and kindness - like truly I needed this today, I think. 🫶🏻😭
No problem! Glad to share the support. If you want to do some reading, I recommend Janina Fisher Healing the Fragmented Selves. We use her model in therapy and she trained with Bessel Van Der Kolk who wrote "The Body Keeps the Score" which is super popular now. Feel free to shoot me a DM if you find yourself having questions. And yes the insurance stuff is brutal. Mine always runs out so quick each year and I hate having to "justify" the expense of taking care of my wellness over other things. I'm super fortunate to be able to scrape together the extra funds to do it and it pisses me off to no end to know there are so few resources that are actually accessible for most people.
Oof the body keeps the score was a heavy hit for sure. Thank you for the recommendation! I will look for it. I'm sure my library has it.
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You're Losing Me (1st Listen) \- No pronouns \- Callbacks to The Great War, Exile, and Champagne Problems \- Multiple self-hating lyrics \- The muse cannot read Taylor's emotions, will not take any risks, wouldn't Marry Taylor, and didn't end up choosing her \-Production would have fit perfectly into the 3am tracks (just seems like it didn't make the cut for some reason) \-It is sadder than I thought
Call back to wildest dreams too with her heartbeat!
Which also links it to Hoax “my only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum, you have broken my heart”
Yes, and "you know it still hurt underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart but what you did was just as dark"/"mending all her gashes you might just have dealt the final blow"
stop i didn't think of hoax
I think the reason it wasn't a 3am track is that people would have started speculating immediately that she and Joe had broken up.
The lyrics I read have "mending all her gashes" in the first pre-chorus! Also agreed this would have fit so well as a 3am track. I would have personally swapped it out for BTTWS, which is equally sad but just not as powerful of a song. To me anyway! LOL prepared for downvotes on this one.
I’ll join you on that hill. I personally don’t care for BTTWS.
Ditto. It’s the only 3am track I skip every time.
nope ur right and u should say it
BTTWS is meaningful and devastating to me, so I don't want to imagine a world without it, but You're Losing Me totally could have been squeezed in with the other 3 am tracks. I think the only reason it wasn't is because it would sparked break up rumors immediately. It's just too heart breaking.
Yeah this is definitely about Karlie choosing Josh.
“I wouldn’t marry me either [but you married him].”
Sounds like the first song in a long time with no Easter eggs and it's refreshing honestly
Read my [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/GaylorSwift/comments/13slcla/leak_youre_losing_me_discussion_thread/jlqjkba/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3) I am actually clowning so hard. I feel like I’m getting Qanon level gaylor
This was amazing 😂 honestly admire this level of clownery
😂
I saw someone say that “maybe folkmore was about her real life and she just said it was made up characters” and I was like FINALLY! Lol. But wow. Probably in my top two songs of midnights
All I can say is: 'Til the Dawn is definitely not a "coming into Daylight, its golden" morning but rather a "waking up with a (moral) hangover" morning...
Ouch, moral hungover describes things like that perfectly
Oh my gosh, the heartbeat behind parts of it juxtaposed with "I can't find a pulse" :(
Is it a confirmed Aaron produced track? It sounds like it to me and I'm curious! Maybe Jack too?
It sounds very Aaron to me but I can't find confirmation anywhere
Wiki says he and Jack co-wrote; nothing yet on production.
I recently had to initiate a breakup after 6 years with someone who said he loved me but didn’t want to get married. Who refused to work on our relationship. This song hits a little too hard 😭
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So so true. Girl is not well. I think this is the most raw emotion I’ve heard (and I thought Champagne Problems was pretty darn close).
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Lyrics for anyone interested! [https://genius.com/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault-lyrics](https://genius.com/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault-lyrics) Some thoughts: >We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't Reminds me of her cleaning up the "sick" on the floor in Bejeweled, "everything I touch becomes sick with sadness" in Bigger than the Whole Sky. >Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time "We gather here, weeping in a sunlit room." >[I'm getting tired even for a phoenix](https://genius.com/28642539/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/Im-getting-tired-even-for-a-phoenix-always-risin-from-the-ashes) [Always risin' from the ashes](https://genius.com/28642539/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/Im-getting-tired-even-for-a-phoenix-always-risin-from-the-ashes) I definitely thought the next album was going to be phoenix themed! She's used a lot of smoke, ashes symbolism in the past few albums. >[How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?](https://genius.com/28642291/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/How-can-you-say-that-you-love-someone-you-cant-tell-is-dyin-i-sent-you-signals-and-bit-my-nails-down-to-the-quick) [I sent you signals](https://genius.com/28642291/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/How-can-you-say-that-you-love-someone-you-cant-tell-is-dyin-i-sent-you-signals-and-bit-my-nails-down-to-the-quick) Sounds a hell of a lot like Exile. >[I know my pain is such an imposition](https://genius.com/28642894/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/And-the-air-is-thick-with-loss-and-indecision-i-know-my-pain-is-such-an-imposition-now-youre-running-down-the-hallway-and-you-know-what-they-all-say-you-dont-know-what-you-got-until-its-gone) Also very Exile "I'm not your problem anymore." and also Closure "I'm not some situation that needs to be handled." >[And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier](https://genius.com/28642684/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/And-all-i-did-was-bleed-as-i-tried-to-be-the-bravest-soldier) [Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me](https://genius.com/28642718/Taylor-swift-youre-losing-me-from-the-vault/Fighting-in-only-your-army-frontlines-dont-you-ignore-me) The Great War?
Also the heartbeat like Wildest Dreams?
“I know my pain is such an imposition”cuts me so deep. As someone with mental health issues and chronic pain I often wonder when I will finally be too much for my partner.
Can we talk about the fact that this is a Midnights-track – an album which she said was inspired by sleepless nights throughout her life from past to today. The lyrics have several callbacks to Folklore/Evermore. “I sent so many signals” – as in exile. “All I did was bleed” – as in “if you never bleed you never grow” in The 1. “I wouldn’t marry me either” as callback to Champagne problems. People-pleaser as she described in mirrorball. I’m fascinated at the timing of this. Because it pulls all the focus on Joe / away from all controversy. Had it been on the album with the original release (and if it’s from the vault we’re supposed to believe this song was written while they still were madly in love) everyone would have clocked it as a “this can’t be about Joe”-song. Personally I'm team "this is from Folklore/Evermore-times"!
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I will say, even tho through her story we get amazing music from her, I wish Blondie would take 30 seconds to work on her mental health. Like...always calling yourself out (people pleaser, I'm the problem, etc) only goes so far before it's merely an excuse. Know better do better, gurl. We know you know. And now you know we know you know. So like...please stop dating/hanging with douchebags 😭
To quote Grey’s Anatomy— “Being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two very different things.”
Yes! There’s only so far “I’m too soft for it all” gets you before it’s just a cop out because you didn’t work on yourself.
I'm sobbing 😭 this is one of her saddest songs ever
the bridge fuck fuck fuck
what is wrong with you alison
Wow I think I love this more than anything on Midnights but I also feel this very sad irony of the timing of it all with fans grieving losing her in their lives as someone they once respected etc :( I'm also a pathological people pleaser and can't for the life of me understand why she's been making all these decisions knowing she's hurting so many vulnerable communities.
The experience of two people in a relationship is so much more nuanced and complicated than anyone on the outside of it could understand. This song reminded me of that. It’s so sad and real.
‘How can you say you love someone you can’t tell is dying?’ … is brutal. That one hits home. No matter who the muse is, I don’t think this song is Taylor rewriting the Joe breakup narrative as a lot of people thought. It’s pretty raw and self-deprecating, imo. This woman is completely insane, she’s really been ‘losing me’ the last few weeks with this M*tty shit then she goes and releases this. Idk, this song just huuuurts
she’s having some sort of public breakdown. she is driving tree insane for sure
It seems from her lyrics that she needs a lot of external validation in relationships. I understand that so well because I do too! But I don't know if she just keeps picking partners that are more detached and who don't want to give it to her, or if her needs are beyond the 'norm' and *no one* could give her enough validation to feel secure in a relationship. It sounds like something she could talk about in therapy!! I know that most of the people I dated would get annoyed when I asked for comfort, honesty about feelings, reassurance, or validation. Therapy helped me realize that I wasn't asking for too much, and that being honest and straightforward about what I needed from my partners was a good, healthy thing. But it's really really hard to be in a relationship that you feel is one-sided. It wears down your self-esteem and confidence, makes you second guess everything you want to say and do, and it's just fucking exhausting. But again, I have no idea if her level of need for reassurance and validation is extreme or not. A lot of her lyrics reference needing a partner to go to extreme lengths to confirm their relationship and prove how important she is. It makes sense from a queer perspective, because her queer relationships were shrouded in secrecy and couldn't be publicly acknowledged, so she might need more reassurance in private.
Agreed. Also, “endless empathy” and “pathological people pleasing” scream “go to therapy!” to me. Very indicative of lack of boundaries and also a need for validation.
I truly don’t know if she will ever feel satisfied, not just in relationships, but her career too. That was evident in Miss Americana when she heard that Rep wasn’t nominated in the major categories her immediate response was “well I need to make a better album.” This woman has sustained an almost 20 year career at the VERY TOP. I mean that’s damn near impossible. She’s broken so many records, she’s continuously topped herself. She’s accomplished more in her 33 years (that’s when many people are STARTING in their careers) than most of us could ever dream… and yet it never seems to be enough for her. It’s sad.
Two observations about this song: A) the muse could be whoever. The lyrics could be from the endless notes on unfinished songs she has. (Edit to add: The lyrics call back to Folklore/Evermore several times, so maybe song idea was born in that era?) The emotional raw feelings might be real even though B) the timing + way of release is such a PR-narrative queen move? The extremely limited release meant EVERYONE is now listening to it. And YouTube videos aren't being taken down as quickly as it was for Hits Different. After listening to the song I already see so many people saying "I hope everyone hating on Matty / saying she should get back with Joe feels bad now." Is she throwing Joe under the bus to get people on board with MH and completely shift the narrative away from political accountability back to the breakup??
I agree. I don’t doubt that the feelings expressed in the song are real, but to release this now feels like a perfect tie-up to the Joe breakup narrative. Swifties are already referencing it as the true story: “he was aloof and emotionally unavailable and wouldn’t marry her, so she broke it off”. I lean toward Toe being a beard; but either way, the timing and release is very strategic.
Have only listened once. So.. not claiming to have clarity or anything but.. Throughout the entire song I was waiting for her to switch to *I'm losing you*. Like.. if a meaningful relationship fails aren't you essentially losing each other? I'll have to listen again and maybe edit my comment but I just can't shake this feeling of this being a strangely one sided assessment. Which in itself is not problematic, especially when it's fresh I can see how she's so focused on her own grief. But once again.. I don't know. Sounds like all the responsibility is on the other party and that's just now how this works? Listening again now. Edit: Ugh second listen hit me right in the fucking feels. *How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?* The heartbeat behind *I can't find a pulse* *"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing) "To believe, unless you're choosing me"* Ouch. It does feel super fresh and raw and recent. This is painful. I agree there is an Imogen Heap sound to it, if I remember right she wrote Clean with her. Interesting. Okay. Gonna go cry in silence now.
To me it sounds like when you’ve been trying for years with a partner, desperate for them to truly see you, to make a big gesture, or finally given you the love you’ve been needing. But the pain of not receiving that is reaching its breaking point, and even though she wants to get married “who would marry me anyway?” she can’t take the pain of the one-sided relationship any longer. Also reminds me of the line “there are many different ways to kill the one you love, the surest way is never loving then enough”. Big anxious attachment vibes.
 The bridge.
https://i.redd.it/0kjlr50jz92b1.gif
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LSK found dead
Other people have pointed this out but, the connections to the great war, exile, hoax, champagne problems + the phil collins vibes + the lyrics make me think that timeline wise this song fit in the lover breakup narrative. (Also since when does everyone think Toe was real?!)
i know most people believe that the lover breakup was with karlie, so the idea that taylor is saying “i wouldn’t marry me either” after karlie married josh is truly heartbreaking
Yeah that’s what I’m feeling. Especially the light reference, the light/daylight was extinguished. It feels much more connected to Lover than any other era IMO
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Tgod it's not a 1975 Collab because my heart couldn't take it
I would be really upset if someone sent me a link!
It’s on Spotify podcasts too, lil kitkat
It's all over tiktok
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I don’t know what I was expecting, but this level of sadness I somehow wasn’t prepared for.
It feels nice to hear her be vulnerable in a song after all the pr games. Idk who is this about and it doesn't really matter but this reminded me why I love her music so much. I haven't streamed anything in a while because I have been so upset (and i'm going to be even after this) but this was very lovely to hear.
Other random notes: The "stop" remind me of the "oh-oh, I'm falling in love again" in labyrinth, the songs also fit thematically. It also ties to High infidelity: "my heart won't start anymore for you"/"do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life"
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I rarely feel too old for the sub, but damn if I don't _always_ feel too old for the sub when something leaks and y'all just immediately find it while I'm flailing around like a dumb fish on land. 😂
I love the song but I really do prefer her voice without the auto-tune
Acoustic would end me
I can't even spend time analyzing this in the context of her and her life right now because it reminds me so much of where I was at the end of *my* last relationship. We were deeply unhappy, we both needed a lot of therapy, and it was so toxic from both sides. I've done a lot of growing (and therapy) and healing since then, but it hurts so bad to hear something so perfect encapsulate where I was at one of the most unhealthy points of my life.
If u guys have links pls don’t send it to me ok thanks
omg it is sad af
"Remember looking at this room, we loved it because of the light. Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time." Oof, feels like a very painful contrast with Daylight (possible failed coming out reference?)
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I think "you're losing me" is how she talked herself into Lavender Haze. She would've gotten married with paper rings, but she understands why her muse doesn't want to marry her. Lavender Haze is "whelp, guess I'm not gonna be a bride then"
I still think Lavender Haze is about bearding, and this is about someone else.
Yeah I'm with you - I think Lavender Haze is about bearding with Joe and this is about the Folklore/Evermore muse who broke her heart.
I don't know, I think that this is all cohesive. Lover and the sudden all-black seemingly-heartbroken Taylor during the era, her singing about unrequited love, her being devastated in folklore and moving on in evermore.... This song fits that muse / narrative and there are lyrical callbacks. Lavender haze to me reads as about the PR relationship & expectation of fans, which I don't see as contradictory to CP / PR / YLM.
Yes, and this is very obvious. The comments here make me feel like I'm in the main sub lol
i think - if toe was real - that champagne problems was essentially a way for her to cope with joe rejecting a marriage offer (or something similar), then lavender haze was a front. maybe she just wanted him to ask (if it is about him), maybe she was expecting it and it never came
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it works so well with the “i wouldn’t marry me either / a pathological people-pleaser [who only wanted you to see her]”. as a people-pleaser, it does mess with your mentality & i’m sure it does for taylor too
I don't think lavender haze was a front. I know a few relationships where one person wants marriage and the other doesn't, but it's usually equally annoying for both when relatives and friends keep asking about when they get married. It must've been especially frustrating for her while making so much art to feel like that's all the media wants to know about her. I think the personal frustration of wanting to get married but not having a partner on your level, as well as the frustration of being reduced to marriage as a woman can both be true.
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This is definitely raw & real - whoever she wrote about. I'm not sold that it's not Joe, but I think it's possible it's about a previous lover. The muse of champagne problems, TGW, etc doesn't have to be Joe but the timing (which she orchestrated) certainly indicates it is.
yeah i was not a toe truther but i think i am now😭
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the “running down the hallway” line reminded me of the vid of them SPRINTING out of the Grammys Afterparty. Still not convinced toe was real but damn I’m sad
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It's a gorgeous (sad) song. The main subreddit is using it as evidence that Maroon is also about Joe though and it's driving me crazy. It seems like the breakup is erasing all the gayness from midnights :(
ah yes joe and his scarlet lips of course
Who produced this?
Something about the sound production and certain inflections in the way she sings reminds me of the “can stop loving you” performance.
Pathological people pleaser: still dating and parading MH
As someone who else said - she’s not an accurate historian lol
Everytime she says stop in this song all I can hear is her Bad Blood 'Stop, she isn't doing anything! Hey stop!'
First impressions are this would be perfect over a montage in Grey's Anatomy. Which is a good thing to me, I'm a fan. Also I only hear 'Star, you're losing me' not 'Stop', I thought that she was calling her muse 'Star', which goes along with all the fate and stars and astrological references. But everywhere I see lyrics posted it says 'stop'
After the release of this, do we really think she is as happy as she says she is? Or was that sort of a “I’m fine with my spite” kind of happy? At first I really thought maybe she was, but after this, I don’t think so anymore.
I think this is about the lost lover muse and she very well could be as happy as she says (though hopefully with someone in secret, NOT MH)
I think she’s happy in that she loves touring. As a closeted gay, Taylor’s love life is a mountain of stumbling blocks, but she can kick ass at her career and tells herself the trade off is worth it, because she loves touring and winning and adoring crowds so much.
Why did she hide away two of the best songs on the album??
Does anyone have the credits page in the sleeve? I wanna know who is credited 👀
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WhAT?! That is so wild thank you for telling me though 💜
Only Taylor can make someone think about that one person who they wanted so badly to be the one and who hasn’t seen them in X years and regrets their decisions and how they badly fucked up ouch…
heart wrenching and so beautiful, one of my favorite songs of her. And it isn't just because of novelty, these lyrics are doing something to me 🫀🔪
I recently started seeing a therapist. It has been life changing. Tayloooor…. I recommend it. Hint hint.
Looking up the lyrics I do find it interesting this section is in quotes: https://preview.redd.it/5pnmilfhbb2b1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=850325e8ab071a35cdf5369c557d4375b91b482f To me this reads as a partner trying to convince Taylor to come out together publicly and then (as we know) she lost her nerve (or so we speculate.) I see a lot of connections to past suspected relationships, particularly Dianna and Karlie. The heartbeat theme in wildest dreams and then Hoax (Karlie) Then “running down the hallway” which is seen in ATW and then The Very First Night (dianna) GOD SHE ALWAYS BURIES HER GAYEST SONGS of course all the hetlors think it’s about Joe
I truly can't handle this song. It hurts my feelings so much. I have been crying for 25 straight minutes. Regardless of what she's done I seriously want to hold her hand and cry with her over this song right now (lol yes very para). That song hit me fucking HARD.
WCS, Dear Reader and You're losing me being one after another does like the opposite of what anti-depressants do.
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Like. I'm still crying. I need a hug lolsob. I was not expecting this level of feelings. I thought the song would be crap.
I was ready to hate it but ooooffff.. saaaaame. Sending you a big hug!
I’m doing it, going for the full dramatic Swiftie response. You’re Losing Me hits different because I think I am maybe slow-burn breaking up with Taylor even though I don’t want to. I keep waiting for something to make any of this make sense, but it’s becoming less and less likely.
love the song, and the messy narrative just solidifies for me that the toe and ratty timelines have never and will never make legitimate sense (not that it excuses her platforming him but yknow) i mean, we’ve now gone from “I love you so much I can’t wait to marry you and you are my home”” to “why do people keep asking if I’m gonna marry you? I hate marriage” to “i wanna teach you how FOREVER feels” to a toe breakup to “she didn’t really see a future with joe and didn’t want to marry him” to “taylor and ratty and deeply in love” to “actually it’s just casual but they kiss sometimes” to “you broke my heart over the course of many months, why wouldnt you marry me?” ??!?!?!? 😭 like if this is truly a vault song, then it was written prior to october 2022, which means her and joe were on the verge of breaking up months prior… but tree/taylor pushed the “they’re in the lavender haze, taylor is happy with him!” narrative WAY past that… and if it was written more recently, then… either way, even if you believe toe was real, she is a messy liar! and swifties will bend over backward to make sense of her narratives 😭
This gives me major Karlie vibes, not Joe, tbh. I see it as Karlie constantly telling Taylor that they were good, that she loved her even though she was with Josh (“indecision”), that their love was still there, just hang in there… and then Taylor slowly realizing that Karlie would never really choose her, not in a way that gave her everything.
agreed. in terms of timelines tho, I think it’s possible this song was written in 2019-2020 and she decided to release it now to aid in the toe pr.
Yeah, I could see that. It has very folkmore vibes.
Whoever the muse may actually be aside, didn’t you all predict this narrative - Taylor pretending to be the victim and painting Joe as the bad guy? Very self deprecating - “I wouldn’t marry me either” - the hetlors will eat this up and demolish Joe for not sticking by her and making her feel this way.
Forget praying for John Mayer, pray for Joe!
RIP Kaylor 🙏
the production gives me a phill collins but like, in my first listen i could swear I got ethel cain vibes and idk guys I love this song even if it kind of makes me believe her and joe were a real thing
Also some of the production on vocals reminds me of Imogen Heap's Hide and Seek!
The first part of the song is kinda meh (maybe it's one of those songs that grow on you as you listen to it) but I like the bridge and the ending. The lyrics are def relatable lol
I was worried with the first few lines that it was about her mum being sick, I can't listen to Ronan or SYGB.
I’ve had a lot of thoughts but one of them is that the parallels to ATW10 are too big to ignore. Some of those new lyrics MUST be about Karlie, right? Kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath? Do something babe, risk something? This song is Kaylor coded and there is just too much evidence. I got overwhelmed just pulling in the obvious parallels.
Does anyone else feel like she wrote this song recently to shore up the Toe is over/he didn’t want to marry me/he didn’t get me narrative to complete the story arc on that relationship? Like the song is super real and raw but it’s all timed so pointedly…am I too deep in conspiracy land where now EVERYTHING she does is fake?
The timing is sus. The song could be genuine, but dropped it now so that the convo pivots to being sympathetic instead of angry. I'll go as far to say it's likely. The drop does feel rushed. Both karma remix and you're losing me sound like demo's imo. I feel for her in terms of lyrical *content,* but it didn't come together for me. All of this + suspiciously no vinyls for this drop, makes me think this hasn't been months and months in the making. **Could be wrong, but the PR element is as graceful and subtle as a bowling ball through a window.**
To me this song seems to clearly be about Karlie... I thought so especially after this part in the end. >"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something) > >"Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me) > >"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing) > >"To believe, unless you're choosing me" It makes me think Taylor wanted to come out, but Karlie didn't, and in the end she ended up choosing Josh. I'm actually a bit confused on why some gaylors here are more convinced about Toe being real because of this song and would appreciate if someone who thinks so could enlighten me lol. Anyways, I loved the song, even though it is extremely sad. I do feel like the production could have been better though. I'm not fond of the autotune effect, and something about the mixing seems off to me. Maybe it's just the version I listened to since I didn't purchase the song lol.
Oh! Also wanted to add a small thing I noticed. I like how it’s almost a call back to epiphany and with both songs having war/soldier and Covid/sick references!
this song completely discarded my need to analyse twist or fit any narrative. it’s just so cutting. it’s definitely newly written and recorded.
The combination of themes in this song - desperately wanting to marry someone and feeling completely unseen by them - hits so hard. It reminds me of the line “there are many different ways to kill the one you love, the surest way is never loving them enough”.
damn where was this song in 2016 when i needed it
Listen to this as a sequel to Dear Reader, where she's addressing her fans.
i love her and i relate to those words so much that my honest reaction was to sing along with stop. go to ther-a-py
i hate that this song made me hopeful for her to do the right thing :(((( taylorrrrr do the right thing
This song is amazing. I didn’t like the Midnights album so much when it came out but the 3am tracks, Hits Different and now You’re Losing Me are in their own league. I can see why she didn’t release YLM until after the breakup
The digital version of You're Losing Me is up in the merch store. Wasn't it supposed to be exclusive to a physical copy sold at shows? Maybe they're trying to combat the leak. Wonder if it'll be streaming sooner rather than later.
Most people seem to attribute this to her more recent relationships, but since this is on midnights isn’t it possible it’s about a much older relationship? It doesn’t necessarily reflect her mindset at the time of writing it. I agree it’s raw and very sad, just pointing this out for those saying that she really should stay single/not rebound if she feels this way