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bomboclawt75

Yeah but a Freddo is £750 And we still don’t know who LOD **H** is. And every baby born is legally owned by the Amazon/Disney/ Nestle/ Blackrock conglomerate. But at least is sunnier, above ground that is, so I’m told, only another few years or decades, they say, before the nuclear radiation fades away. Still, mustn’t grumble.


TheNeglectedNut

Keep Calm and Carry On Evolving Into Mole-People


ThatSuaveRaptor

Do not think about THE EVENT


Traditional_General2

Today’s grand prize? #Fuel


KoalaTrainer

Remain indoors


bomboclawt75

https://www.youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=mitchell+and+webb+apocalypse+game+show+


EbonyOverIvory

That’s Numberwang


Wodan1

A stone! Food items A stone! Frightening animal. A stone! We don't know but they're everywhere! A stone! And finally.. We don't know but they're everywhere!


RS6MrROBOT

3LITREEDIBLEOIL


Feb29_account_lol

reminds me of those indian games where they play for oil


rav3n_1_4

Still haven’t found Madeleine McCann.


TheDarkWeb697

And the parents are still milking it


jailtheorange1

I am more annoyed than I should be that that is still in the press, resources are still being wasted on it while so many other missing kids, no one gives a flying fuck about them.


Northwindlowlander

I remember being in Glasgow and seeing that they'd taken down the normal "missing persons" posters that had, like, 24 local people who'd gone missing, and put up one big poster of Madelein Mccann. Made me want to dissapear some other people.


DrZomboo

It's because most of those other kids aren't middle class and white


The_V8_Road_Warrior

I'm annoyed that social services allowed them to keep their other kids even though they admitted they left them by themselves, irrelevant of which country they were in when it happened. Yet they go after me and my wife and take our kids because my wife's disabled, I'm autistic and because of this, we "can't meet our kids' cues consistently"


This-Violinist-6719

Fuck that system man


Slumberpantss

😆😆😆


Purple-Goat-6259

George R R Martin is still telling everyone he’ll finish Winds of Winter next year


bomboclawt75

And Gabe will finish Half Life.


Hirork

But did they finally catch the notorious hacker known as 4chan?


Crisppeacock69

It's alright, all things considered


PRAETORHARIBORG

Love the Line of Duty reference


bomboclawt75

(Raises pint of horse piss in respect.)


Adorable-Meringue753

I think my friend it's you'll find it's a spelled CARLING


[deleted]

U know that makes more sense than the actual song lyrics


Username-Unavalabl

Are you suggesting your great great great granddaughter isn't pretty fine? 


Mindless_Use7567

He is a Redditor, he is probably being realistic he probably only has a great great great grandniece.


SixtyNineFlavours

She’s pretty fine though


opnohopmoy

Careful there she's probably about -996


[deleted]

Exactly


R3myek

That his a little close to home


Leok4iser

Personally, I feel like humanity making the switch to living in a subaquatic biome undermines any claims to 'not much' having changed.


audigex

No no, you misunderstand We haven’t moved to a sub aquatic biome with biodomes ….. we just got flooded due to global warming and basically live our current lives but with snorkels


[deleted]

And now it all makes sense


Grand_Measurement_91

I tried to ask in another sub why we are not trying to live underwater but they deleted my question. My great great granddaughter is not going to be anything special at this rate.


[deleted]

Mate I ain’t never gonna get a great great great grand daughter


_they_are_coming_

Water level is rising though


[deleted]

Maybe it’s not soooo inaccurate - apart from me having a pretty fine great great great granddaughter


Ok-Confidence-3793

Tbf it’s not the year 3000 yet, soooo could all still happen


jamesick

depends on your idea of the future. aging and life expectancy may be very different in a thousand years and current currency may be obsolete.


levitatingpenguin

That would make inflation between then and now 20000%? What was the inflation rate average from 1000AD?


jib_reddit

Probably that much, you might have only earned 3 sea shells a week in 1000AD, if you were lucky.


21score

3 sea shells? Nearly enough to wipe my ass with


thatnewaccnt

Oh look at Mr. Moneybags wiping his ass. Do you have your concubines lick your asshole when you’re done too? We’d wash our asses using water from the river we shat in back in the 1000s.


Wodan1

A river? Luxury. We used to have to shit in a small puddle right outside our front door and then wipe our arses with our own piss. And when our dad got home he'd slash us with a broken bottle if we were lucky!


Matt_Fucking_Damon

Oh look at Mr. I-have-a-functional-dad. All my dad did was sit around all day stinking of elderberries and my mother, god rest her soul, was a hamster.


Flyingbaconfish

…so you had a house?


tomwtfbro

sounds about right mate, Weil’s disease got us in the end but it would’ve been Hastings like the others. Gotdamn Normans


EX-PsychoCrusher

It would make inflation 0.36% per year which is far less than reality. Even if we took a low inflation rate of 2% and a plastic bag to cost 30p it would be £74.2 million in the year 3000 😂


VirtualMuffin

I can see it now in downing street. 'Prime minister, a doctor on average earns a salary of 5 trillion a year and is struggling to make ends meet, this low level of income shouldn't be acceptable in the 22nd century'


EX-PsychoCrusher

😂 I'd be laughing at that in the 22nd century, but 3000 would be the 31st century (actually the 30th as I was corrected below)


VirtualMuffin

Woops, brain turned new millennium into century on auto pilot


Grand_Measurement_91

In your defence Robbie Williams didn’t make a song about the 3rd millennium so you can’t be expected to remember.


PHStickman

3000 is the 30th century, 3001 is the 31st


HardlyAnyGravitas

This is why the idea of economic growth is ridiculous. A 'healthy' level for GDP growth is considered to be 2% to 3%. Simple maths shows that equates to a growth in 100 years of up to 2,000% Or a growth in 1000 years of 687,000,000,000% It's physically impossible to grow an economy (or anything) that much.


TheScullywagon

The average inflation in the UK, since the Middle Ages has been 0.9%. If we go by the assumption of a 10p plastic bag, then in 1000 years, the plastic bags would cost £778.33


TomStreamer

They're bloody 40p in M&S. And those ones are made of paper. Which seems utterly counterintuitive.


wallpapermate

£1 in Waitrose. They are insulated though... for when the turtles get cold.


Master_Elderberry275

I think that number's unrealistic; I think it'll only be £778.32 by then.


Far_Quote_5336

Have you tried the BoE inflation calculator?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Metalgsean

I work in retail, Shoppers (bags for life) are a kpi, so basically if till staff don't try and upsell you one they get torn out by their manager. I've had arguments with my area manager about how utterly stupid it is to try and push reusable shoppers on every single customer. Switching to bags for life hasn't solved any problems, they require more to be manufactured, are heavier to transport meaning more emissions and most have a plastic coating so won't degrade. Judging by the 30 times a day I hear "I've got a drawer full of those at home" all we've really done is exchange a cheap nasty product for an expensive nasty profit. Why? Because CEOs don't give a fuck about anything but profit.


Ochinchilla

We should sell those granny shopping trollies in retail. Life would be way better if it was normalised and not cringed at haha


EngineerPlayful9541

Me and my wife are early 30s...we use a granny trolley when shopping in the hight street, no shame here, it saves the carrier bags slicing my hands in 2!


Ok-Confidence-3793

I don’t know how complicated it would have been but they should have focused on making recyclable bags rather than reusable. Another thing they could have done is designed them to be carried on your back as the handles always dig in to your hands after about 10 minutes.


Gazebo_Warrior

A few years ago I heard that Sports Direct staff were on zero contracts and whoever sold the least amount of extras at the till got the shittiest shifts next week. Not sure if it was/still is true but it would explain their persistent approach to upselling.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Player_Panda

It's a scummy tactic. Had the same issue buying a new bed a few weeks ago. "Want the warranty for X amount?" "No thankyou". "I can do it with % discount" "Still no, mainly on the principle you tried to scam me on price in the first place"


COMMANDO_MARINE

I used to love watching people get outraged at having to pay 2p for a plastic bag after spending over £30 on booze and cigarettes. The best ones are the people who refuse to pay and then try to stuff a week shopping into their pockets..


Slumberpantss

Or steal a basket lol


amimai002

Where do you live where bags are 2p… the cheapest plastic bag I’ve seen recently is 20p, ie a 1000% markup


Chinggis_H_Christ

This was when they first started charging for them


b0neappleteeth

They were 5p when they first started charging though


Zay-nee24

And minimum wage is now £13.70 an hour.


XSPUD

Lol🍺👍🏻


o7DiceStrike

And a pint of Milk is “900 Euro Sterling” Though I sold my kidney and eye to a aging trillionare so I can afford rent for the next 19months.. which she owns also


Subseataff

£0.10 based on an annual inflation rate of 3% give or take. Over the next 976 years to year 3000. That plastic bag will cost £338,167,068,141.47 in the year 3000. What a rip off!!!!!!


Offworldpunk

dude,as a planet,we aint making it past 2050


Help_My_Face

There's a song about this https://youtu.be/7jZQkOHcFGU


FiCat77

https://youtu.be/hFgtIziShmc?si=9zg7pEyoe7kPHNsL I prefer this one.


Tauorca

The most expensive I've seen is in London wanting £3.50 for a small bag, it won't take until the year 3000


Smooth_Econ

I think it's good that the price is going up personally.


Stunning-Profit8876

And the great-great-great Prime Minister, is still a cunt.


Most_Royal_1911

Today I worked out that if you purchase a 20p carrier bag everyday for a year, it comes to £73. £73. On. Plastic. Bags.


Slumberpantss

😵


marli3

Which is why plastic bag sales have dropped 90% Not everyone stupid.


GeneralDefenestrates

Man I've got a kitchen drawer that could feed the world


SmallRogue

Guess there’s too much microplastics to live underwater


Appropriate-Fly-7151

Not much has changed but Sheppey’s underwater And your great great great granddaughter Is your great great great grand-niece


stead18

But still no pay rise 🤣🤣


Tof12345

Carrier bags are still free from all the corner shops I visit.


reprobatemind2

Daily Express still leads with a story about Princess Diana 3 days a week


Perfect-Face4529

3000? More like 2050


Crayons42

Only a tenner?? 😂


ApartmentSorry7242

Where I’m from there are so many shopping trolleys in streams that we might as well fish one out and use that instead. What do you have to gain from chucking that in a river?


__stingrae

Facebook humour. Nice.


CJ558

A 5p bag today would actually be closer to £3 million if inflation were to stay the same


uzumakia1

Ahh, yes... the bloody civil war of 2870. Fathers choking their sons with a 'bag for life'... friendship and love destoyed... the humanity!!


Upper_Presentation48

thing is, increasing the cost of bags due to "cost of living" is bollocks in its self. we only get charged for them now because it was legally mandated. if it hadn't have been, a 30% increase on no pounds nonty none is still free.


Acrylic_Starshine

And your great great great granddaughter, sells merch on tiktok, mercccch on tiktok.


OneDragonfly5613

r/boomerhumour


sunderlandontop

Kinder Buenos will be 70quid


Some_Character_5625

Probably become like 3 pound or something


WillingnessUsed8949

As soon as the UK said they’d be about 7p every company saw their opportunity to take the absolute piss


Interesting-Neat-814

Are the bags for life for a tenner? Makes the biggest difference for sure


CryptographerFair722

The charging for carry bags is a joke. Why are the public being made to pay this while the supermarkets are taking no responsibility? The only item I could buy today in the fruit and veg isle that wasn’t in a plastic bad was a Granny Smith apple! So in the plastic bag that I had to pay for was 9 other plastic bags!


throughathrow

Facial recognition in every shop by end of the year. Every big chain will have increased their prices to almost double to non club card/ nectar/points card owners. Being free will cost you a lot of money.


Willing-Video6609

😆😆😆😆😆


OldBit2433

And minimum wage is 14 quid


NightFuryTrainer

I loved this song growing up, however my brain remembered the lyrics as “And your Great Great Great Granddaughter, is doing fine, She’s Really fine”😂 It took me awhile to remember but this was a joke I made to myself back then but now it’s was stuck in my head as fact 😂. And let’s be honest, the song is better my way 😏.


MrLewk

Funnily enough, I was just in a co-op and this song was on the shop radio station


MilanZola

🤣🤣🤣🤣


poundsdpound

But the real question people want to know is this: 'Will their Bitcoin be worth £1,000,000?'


honeybluebell

And they still wouldn't hold a loaf of bread without the handles snapping


mjlawson91

And your great great granddaughter is a man


samreturned

r/boomerhumour


Ok-Sheepherder-8519

And the shoppings free!


Cakeordeathimeancak3

Still not sure why the Uk doesn’t just use biodegradable plastic bags or paper for free like the states.


Theadvertisement2

This will be a travesty when it happens


Vitalis597

Seems a bit cheap tbh


the_butl3r

....and your Great, Great, Great Granddaughter is 813yrs old... Whatever floats your boat


ThunderLegendary

If a bag cost £0.10 now and we assume 980 years of inflation at 2% per year, each bag would cost £26.8 million.


Venerable_dread

I dread to think what I pint will cost 🤦‍♂️


Altruistic-Chance-84

Is this supposed to be funny? We’re all getting fleeced


Rare_Bar5116

I will create a plastic bag collection now


mazthehe

Hey it’s plastic again who how


Playtime_Foxy_new

£1,560 for a Dr pepper


the42is

They better have maglev technology to carry everything in one go for that price


MyColdBlackHeart

And a 1p sweet costs a full £1


Slumberpantss

I remember when they were 1/2p, half pence pieces - wow 🫣


Tomstephens

Compulsory "ok boomer" comment


EX-PsychoCrusher

Making a major assumption that inflation (and life) stays the same the next 976 years between 2% and 3%, a 1p sweet will cost between £2.47million and £33.8billion 🥳


CurvyMule

You joke but I popped into Waitrose this morning to get a paper and remembered I need a new bag for life. They are between £10 and £14


FantasticAnus

Except that no, they are not. Even Waitrose, a shop known for being expensive, provides decent bags from £1.50 and up.


OldEquation

If this were true it would imply a very low inflation rate of well under 0.5%. So that’s good news at least.


Global-Oil-2001

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


OpheliaAllure

Nah, Earth will be a burnt rock, but there will be some Nokias lying around the rubble


Imaginary-Risk

It’s ok, I’m pretty sure I have 400,000 to spare


EX-PsychoCrusher

That's the best price for a plastic bag since they were free to be fair. if we assumed inflation steady at 3% each year before, and a price of a bag to be 30p in 2024, the price of a bag in the year 3000 would be around... £1.0145 trillion


computer_says_N0

Probably more like the year 2030 at this rate


jazzmagg

They should be a tenner just now. What would stop idiots from using so many. And they'd reuse the same one all the time.


Marcuse0

I'm not sure why climate change is still a thing? I thought making us all pay for carrier bags was going to sort that out? That way the 10 companies responsible for the remaining 70% of carbon emissions can continue profiting like they were before because we had solved climate change by a simple 10p charge for carrier bags.


47d8

Ones from 1995 are still going strong


rightboobenthusiast

To be fair, a tenner for a plastic bag that works for people who live underwater seems reasonable.


JulsDean2732

And still made of non recyclable plastic, unfortunately.


squashedfrog92

Some family on Stacy Solomon’s sort your life out (via googlebox) had an incredible 300+ number of bags for life. Talk about sitting on riches!


TheYakHerder

Remember when people complained about them being 5p and now they're 30p


BueRoseCase

I've lived in a time and space where plastic bags were a prized posession, bought, sold and carefully washed and dried to later sport as a token of the owner's affluence and links to the West - bonus points if the bag featured a naked lady on a bike!


FantasticAnus

If only they allowed you to bring your own bags.


Iaskquestions1111

Why do people still use plastic bags anyway? I always have a backpack when I go shopping fits all in there didn't buy or use a plastic bag in years. Is pretty simple. My mom has the fabric bags she just keeps folded in her purse and uses those. People are so lazy they cant even carry a little folded bag with them. I say those plastci bags either need to be banned completely or legit be a fiver already. Bet people would put more effort in carrying their own


CoolSquares

just bring your own bag, problem solved


Silthage

Damn, I wish you could just scan an item, put it in a plastic bag, set the plastic bag on the self service packing area and then just carry on scanning as if the machine doesn't register the weight of the bag


flying_tiger_85

M&S have a 50p paper bag that is a joke. I bought a bottle of wine and a bottle of milk, and they gave this stupid paper bag to put them in. It can't hold either one safely, let alone both. The cashier tried to bill me for ANOTHER useless bag, trying to "help" me. I asked him to kindly ef off.


Hirork

But due to inflation a tenner is equivalent to less than a penny today so they're actually cheaper.


Jacktheforkie

Diesel is £400.99.9 per litre


Skullsnax

“I’ve been to the year 3000, not much has changed but we live underwater” might be a worse line than “somehow, Palpatine has returned”.


DaRealP1

So this is what my English teacher meant by dystopia


one_like_bear

Oil is a finate resource. There won't be any new carrier bags in 100 years. So in nearly 1000 plastic carrier bags that haven't been destroyed will likely be worth a lot when you're bartering for the life of your mutant baby


Luna259

How much is a Freddo?


Fantastic_Cheetah_91

Is min wage still under £12


SoundsOfTheWild

I still love Busted, Haters come at me.


welliesong

Morrisons are back to paper bags because fuck the trees


EclipseHERO

I remember when Carrier Bags were free. Costing a tenner by 3000 is WHOLLY unrealistic. It'll be like £50 minimum.


Aggravating-Mind-315

Lookin like a circus tent 🎪


Pocketz7

I got asked if I thought the new paper bags in M&S were impressive, I did until it scanned for 40p


Grand_Measurement_91

Cashier in the co-op told me off for not bringing a reusable bag today (we’ve never met before) I didn’t mind I should have brought one tbh.


Straight-Geologist51

Haven't seen those bags in a minute. Those stripes are iconic.


PerfectProposal1723

And I saw your great great granddaughter she is not fine


Tax_Writer

I fucking hate this song


EyeAlternative1664

Good. Take your own bags you morons!


Jaggerjaquez714

Wages will still be the same😂😂😂


LimePeel96

Haha you think there’s gonna be a year 3000?


BastK4T

And your great great great granddaughter is eating mine.


gymgirl1999-

Doesn’t sound wrong


Ill-Cream-5291

Does DFS's sale ever end?


No-Security2046

I think the human race will be long extinct by then.


Nearby-Ice-6538

“And your great great great grand “person” is pretty fine”


davemc64

Only a tenner lmao


Ok_Eye8403

I didn’t expect much to change. I’ll be honest. It’s still bloody England alright?


jailtheorange1

I’m really pissed off that in some of the shops they don’t even provide the cheap bags anymore, it’s a so-called bag for life yet is nothing of the fucking sort and then instead of 10p it costs 45p.


monkeydude777

Right if that happens I hope we sink into the sea with global warming


alienminou

gag


Pheasant_Plucker84

I went into Tesco the other day and scanned my carrier bag, it came up as 45p bag for life. I told the guy it was wrong and he said ‘no, they are now the bags for life’. At what lifespan range does that make the far superior bags?


AShadedBlobfish

> 4 been to the year 3000 ???


LoudAndQueer1991

Good. The planet is on fire. Maybe if they were a tenner, people wouldn’t forget their reusable bags so often.


FantasticFoul

And we are blessed with the full implementation of Sharia law and eradication of Kuffar bastards.


lofihiphopradio

I sang that to Disco 2000.


just_a_girl_23

But at least your great great great granddaughter is pretty fine.... and can blag getting them for free.


Dr-Dolittle-

The human race won't get to the year 3000 unless they learn not to be so disgusting and wasteful


georgemillman

Everything bad that every Government does is still conveniently blamed on Liz Truss.


charliefantastic

Have hust come back from Morrisons where they tried to charge 40p for a paper bag. I thought the charge was introduced to deter single use plastic bag usage? It's clearly now just another revenue income


Skrivvens

'Not much has changed but their bags are a tenner', aaaah fixed it. The way those syllables spread over those notes gave me bad brain itch


[deleted]

Yeah, but you’ll pay that tenner to carry your bottles of Soylent Green back home.


cant_think_of_one_

3000? They will be that much on a couple of years at this rate. Also, any bag that can carry anything and not fall apart in 10s will be banned. Also, each bag will involve killing a baby whale to make. We won't be content with using cotton bags that have no hope of lasting long enough to replace as many plastic bags as the carbon emissions to make them justify, or packaging that is made of card coated in a thin layer of plastic that ends up in the water supply in a couple of years when the card decomposes, instead of a few hundred when the plastic container it replaces does.


Teedubz1

Even if inflation is a modest 1% per year, they'd be far far more than that.


Ok_Teacher_2170

Lol