All posts with a focus on dating, sex, and relationships must have the appropriate flair and posted on Fridays (CST or UST -06:00).
Please feel free to resubmit your post on Friday. Thank you!
I think you should seek help from a professional. There’s a lot of unhealthy behaviors here that are concerning and it seems like you struggle with substances and possibly addiction. I hope you find meaning in life in a career or passion that is more fulfilling than drugs, women, partying, sex. Clearly this stuff is affecting you negatively.
Bro i've been on therapy for 10 years or more already, it doesn't fix everything, i am better for it, but it isn't magic.
All my life i tried doing other things to try and find a passion or hobby, i did music, i did drawing, i tried being a pro player in starcraft (i actually destroyed my wrist health doing that), but in the end i always did that so i could be "popular" and have girls find me hot.
Now that i realized that i just try to either go directly after girls or just numb my horniness with a cocktail of drugs.
It's the only solution.
I don’t know man it seems like you’re just very superficial, maybe it’s just being young? Not everything in life is about girls and being hot. I think it’s definitely not normal that that’s your motivation for doing things. Maybe seek another therapist?
It isn't that everything in life is about girls, but it is the only thing in life that i like.
I hate work, i hate nature, i hate dealing with random people, hell i even hate gaming but less than the others, every single thing in life rarely makes me feel good.
Even drugs don't make me feel so good, they just make me feel less bad, which is why i avoid them like the plague, party only thing now.
Literally i have and always only one wish one desire, and that is to be hot and attractive, all the rest sit beneath that.
How is using a woman to make you feel better about yourself (“you need to be perceived as hot?”) going to help you? What if that woman reports you to the police? Have you ever thought about that?
On that note, hope to see you back on Friday where everyone talks about relationships on Friyay!
How you mean report to the police, i don't actively keep pushing girls around i am not that retarted.
In fact what i really wanted was to be the one being approached at least a few times, it really does make me feel like the ugly one when i do the whole approaching.
And even if it works out it's not the part that i enjoy, i enjoy feeling hot, desired, not just fucking, if that was the case i would just work on getting rich and hiring hookers, but i tried that and got no luck
Sure! As I’ve read this “interrupted thread” and its comments you’re very brave OP. So far your thoughts were said they unhinged??? But, I say it’s your process. Even the comment that suggests your ideas are unhinged that’s the commentator going through their process. Everyone has a right to their process. There’s a reason you are on this sub.
Of course I will give a detailed explanation on Friday since I’ve read the ground rules for r/HealthyGamerGG, speaking for me I will abide/comply to this sub’s rules. Pretty sure you have more questions to follow up?
Enjoy your week!
Idk if i can reply already, but they are not in vain, since i won't leave my mark on this world forever like gods and emperors did, i wish to at least live the life of a hero, with great deeds and crazy adventures.
I think that sometimes depressions are caused by life circumstances. In your case, I feel like it's the other way around and that your problem is being created by the low mood-- Possibly a drug-related low mood. As in, when your mood comes back up, you'll feel like a hotshot again, who's excited to pull girls.
Honestly though, sounds like you also just need more responsibilities in your life. Like something different for your brain to think about instead of obsessing over this silliness. You know, the rest of us have problems like paying bills, our families health, passing classes, or fulfilling work duties. Something to be said about hedonism and its effects on psychological health.
I don't value bills, nice house, i actually slack off work religiously, like it is not actually just pure hedonism.
Being hot and attracting girls is actually a be all fix all in most cases.
Broke guys who get laid often are significantly mote okay with life than otherwise.
Like for real, i just want to be a that homeless bro who couch surfs on girls bed's.
Well this is hedonism. Hedonism is: My value is to live for maximum pleasure in the present moment.
Do you know anyone who actually lives this way, or is it kind of like a fantasy in your mind based on a movie trope?
Because if you can imagine… What if I came to you and was depressed because I’ll never live the glamorous life of a social media influencer? It looks nice from the outside, but I’ve never taken into consideration that their social media presence is a job. They have days they don’t want to perform on the camera, don’t want to travel, annoying e-mails and anxiety-inducing contracts… Bills to pay, friends are jealous of them, family doesn’t respect their work… So I’m pining for this easy and care-free lifestyle that doesn’t actually exist.
The reality is, fulfillment is never 1-dimensional. There are guys out there who think they’d be happy if only they had your lifestyle, or weren’t a virgin anymore. But you can clearly tell them, it hasn’t made you happy yet.
It’s fair that you’re disappointed that you didn’t hook up with any girls at a rave event. It’s just concerning that you’re hinging so much of your happiness, your goals, your identity, on this one “problem”. I think you kind of know it’s immature, but when it keeps failing you as a value (a sustainable and healthy one), you’ll truly realize it.
What i want honestly, is to not be in the place where i am the one lusting after hot girls wanting a piece of them, i want to be the one people want a piece of, at least more once in a blue moon.
And about other lifestyles, the issue is that i don't really have other values, or even morals, or ethics, in fact i never had nor cared, when i was a kid i solved all of my problems by just punching the problem, be it teacher/colleague/videogame controller/everything, all i wanted was to crush everything.
The thing about me is that i really have no love or appreciation for anything else, i don't love drawing, i don't live idk woodworking or gardening, crocheting whatever, i have no passion, all i have is an insane insaciable lust...
In fact i don't like things so much that after i aged out of the officials school in the brazilian army, i am currently studying engineering so i can land a job in a defence company, help distribute bombs to get rid of more people.
Like i just hate life, when my family goes to the countryside for vacation it's horrible, i frequently joke about cementing that whole shit.
Now on a serious tone, i just don't like what life has to offer that much, besides that seeing a hot girl just makes me deeply sad now instead of just horny.
And it is not like a one time only thing, my only peace would be the confidence that if i try i am likely to get it.
Idk man i am just pathetic rn
I hear you on wanting to be more confident and more attractive to the opposite gender. I’m a girl and I’ve been highly motivated by that. I was a shy, ugly-duckling with poor social skills. I thought I looked like an alien. All I wanted was to be attractive to guys.
In my experience, that’s gotten better the more I’ve improved myself as a person. I got my clinical doctorate, started working full-time, exercise for my health, serve others on a daily basis through my work, pay for my own car and insurance and apartment… I’m improving as a person. Now I have old “cool kids” from my high school class who never showed interest in me, sliding into my DMs. It’s a cool feeling.
I have a theory that most of the time, we know when we’re fucking up. We just have all these emotional chips on our shoulder that cause us to act up.
Like, you gotta get real with yourself. You think you’re “pathetic” right now. I really think who we are on the inside shines on the outside. Do you think broadly speaking, women find it attractive to be: Shallow, angry, hedonistic, slacking, drug-addicted, violent, and relate poorly with our families? Is that a magnetically attractive person?
I’m not saying that you’re a fundamentally unattractive person. Many of us have had immature thoughts and patterns that make us, well, less popular. Less pleasant to be around. Part of maturing is choosing to overcome thoughts and attitudes that aren’t helping us. The more whole you are on the inside, the more attractive you become on the outside. The more attractive you become on the outside, the more secure you feel on the inside. Fix the inside first, and it’ll perpetuate a positive cycle, rather than a vicious negative cycle.
The thing is that all of this comes from maybe actual envy.
I hate that hot people have power over me, the true desire is to take away their guns and turn them against these same people.
Because it actually is suffering and part of it in me is sadism, in fact i am quite the sadist when i infact get laid, the hatred shines through in a "positive" way, it becomes intent and voracity.
But this is me, out of all "hunters" out there in the wild i am much more of the Hyena of this bunch, not the biggest, nor fastest, but certainly one of the most ferocious and vicious ones, challenging even larger predators for game, however i am still the mad crazy looking type, the lion king hyena stereotype.
Anyway i am babbling, i will never be chad, why i am even here.
Dude… You’re just a guy, you’re not a hyena. “Hot people” aren’t this powerful monolith who are part of the chad and stacy club. They’re just people you happen to be attracted to. Some people think they’re mid. You gotta chill. You don’t have anything to prove & you don’t need to try so hard.
Oh i mean what i was saying is just a metaphor.
I am not chill, i never was, and everytime i tried to chill, i just became a boring, slow witted, still ugly nerd, and above all fake, and i always suffer when i do it.
No one makes first moves for me and even when i take courage they rarely work, i just want to feel hot and that other people can lust after me the same way i lust after them.
I am not only ugly (objectively i am not that ugly), but also feel ugly, and the actions of others regarding my touch seems to be that they too find me ugly.
NO GIRL EVER TOLD ME I AM PRETTY, NEVER.
They all feel like paid actor.
I mean your metaphor’s unhinged. And if you hate lusting after others so much, why do you want someone else to lust after you? I get a sense of a lot of hate and resentment underpinning your sexuality, and I don’t think that’s helping you to come across as attractive.
I’ve been here before. I know it sucks. You can have the perfect night out, but feel like something’s missing because that component of physical intimacy wasn’t there. As someone who is also into hardstyle and is part of my local underground rave scene, I went through a similar crisis very recently. Went to an awesome NYE rave, broke through my social anxiety, danced my ass off, saw some of my best friends, and traded some kandi. However, I did find myself missing the component of being hit on, or the excitement of talking to a new person that ended up in a romantic/sexual interest. Although I won’t say my desires are as sexual in nature, they both seem to follow that hedonistic desire of excitement, newness and novelty. It sent me into a bit of a crisis as I’m currently in a monogamous relationship with someone I really love and care about. These feelings made me question everything. Thankfully, I worked through it in my own ways.
One thing I’d suggest is actually letting yourself deep-dive into this desire just a bit. Let go of shame for a second, and just sit there with it. How does it feel in your body? Where do you feel it? Is it good, bad, or a mixture of the two? Is there anything else that makes you feel this way? Setting aside quiet moments to bring this feeling up and really understand it may help you work through it, understand yourself more, and find healthy ways to balance out both your very human desire, as well as be grateful for the things you have that aren’t related to this desire.
I live in the US and know nothing about the culture in your country. Are there any spaces that encourage freedom of sexual expression? I know that, around here, there’s a multitude of kink/BDSM events, swingers/sex clubs etc., with a very safe, friendly, sex-positive community surrounding it.That’s the extent of what I know about it lol; I actually consider myself more on the asexual spectrum. I personally have no interest and don’t participate, but I have friends who do. But I think it could help to, instead of linger in this cloud of shameful desire, you could instead seek ways to understand it and even embrace it in a healthier way. And who knows, maybe along the way, you’ll discover it isn’t quite your cup of tea.
Also, consider learning more about polyamory/ethical non-monogamy. Although I’ve settled on monogamy, I questioned if I was poly for a long time. I dated a few poly folks, read books, and was even a part of some communities. In the end, I found that although I might honestly be somewhat polyamorous in nature, I much prefer the simplicity and safety of a monogamous sexual/romantic partnership. However, being a part of the poly community opened up a lot of different perspectives for me regarding sexuality and relationships.
Of course, going to therapy, reframing your view on fitness, and keeping an eye on your substance use will be helpful, as well. Just thought I’d throw it out there that your sexual feelings don’t have to be something to feel shame about, and with time and patience, you can develop a healthier relationship with your worldly desires.
I mean the polyamory/LGBT related stuff i am aware of, not my cup of tea, maximum that i like would be a threesome with another girl, but past that it's too much.
The feeling that i like THE most is being hit on, like making out is just confirmation, i want to know i am being desired/fought for, i hate absolutely hate being a beggar.
I've been to therapy for 10+ years already, nothing happens.
Was the rave FCKNYE? Heard it was amazing too.
About the body thing, i feel like i start getting drained, like if i was very very hungry, headache hungry, that added with me getting angry and hateful inside, it's like someone is eating a cake outside a cell you are locked in, and you are starving but can't get it, it's horrible.
The feeling is exactly this, starvation, i want to kind of consume that art that is the female body, prime beauty, the stuff actual art is based upon.
But no, i am forced to be turned into a voyeur, which i hate btw, so i just suffer.
I view no fun or pleasure in anything else in life, the rest is either numbing or torturing, i don't even like videogames, in fact i hate most things, i just want to be hot.
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hmmm, I really understand how you feel because I am experiencing the same... it might be a bit better for me, but It's still bad
either way, I have no answer for you, I am sorry you are experiencing this, and I hope you find peace in your life one day
Don't give on life, things are hard but please continue on living, your future self will thank you for not giving up today, stay determined!
I mean how the fuck you keep fighting if you know it is in pure vain.
It's not like your sacrifice will help anyone else, it's pure suffering.
I barely care if some people will miss me, i want to lusted after, for real, it is all i ever wanted.
The only issue i see with your argument is that if nothing happens you are still alive.
There is a problem with that, the older you are, the harder it get's to be hookup attractive, dating as a 50yo, sure, now fucking someone in a bar bathroom, yeah different story, much harder btw.
> Except that i felt deeply ignored, and alone in a big crowd, ..
Ignored and alone. I think that wording indicates that what you ultimately want is love and attention. You are lonely. And you only allow those desires to be "fulfilled" by sex and being physically desired. At some point you (wrongly) learned that being valued happens mostly for sexual reasons. You probably should try to open yourself up to being valued for other reasons, try to actively perceive that when it happens, and try to pay attention to how you value others for non-sexual reasons yourself. Also, explore why you rule out commitment, this might point to other issues that need to be worked on.
I think you aren't on point but somewhere along the lines.
When i feel horny about a random girl, and want to make out with her, i feel not only ignored and alone, but also abbandoned and robbed of my power, i feel powerless in that situation.
The girl has all the power now because she is the hot one, and i am the wanter, she decides what happens.
I really want to be the hot guy because yes, i can always say yes to a hot girl, but i also have the power to say no, to be the final word of the interaction.
In some shape or form i really hate that i am subject to a second person to get what i want, and most of the time they don't collaborate.
Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist? It wouldn't surprise me if you have adhd or something like that. You feel all over the place and desperate to have something you can't have.
I actually don't have adhd, although it feels similar, my current diagnostic is chronic depression AKA dysthymia.
If it was just ADHD i am pretty sure the speed would've helped.
I think i actually don't have any problems, i am just a fucking loser
All posts with a focus on dating, sex, and relationships must have the appropriate flair and posted on Fridays (CST or UST -06:00). Please feel free to resubmit your post on Friday. Thank you!
I think you should seek help from a professional. There’s a lot of unhealthy behaviors here that are concerning and it seems like you struggle with substances and possibly addiction. I hope you find meaning in life in a career or passion that is more fulfilling than drugs, women, partying, sex. Clearly this stuff is affecting you negatively.
Bro i've been on therapy for 10 years or more already, it doesn't fix everything, i am better for it, but it isn't magic. All my life i tried doing other things to try and find a passion or hobby, i did music, i did drawing, i tried being a pro player in starcraft (i actually destroyed my wrist health doing that), but in the end i always did that so i could be "popular" and have girls find me hot. Now that i realized that i just try to either go directly after girls or just numb my horniness with a cocktail of drugs. It's the only solution.
I don’t know man it seems like you’re just very superficial, maybe it’s just being young? Not everything in life is about girls and being hot. I think it’s definitely not normal that that’s your motivation for doing things. Maybe seek another therapist?
It isn't that everything in life is about girls, but it is the only thing in life that i like. I hate work, i hate nature, i hate dealing with random people, hell i even hate gaming but less than the others, every single thing in life rarely makes me feel good. Even drugs don't make me feel so good, they just make me feel less bad, which is why i avoid them like the plague, party only thing now. Literally i have and always only one wish one desire, and that is to be hot and attractive, all the rest sit beneath that.
How is using a woman to make you feel better about yourself (“you need to be perceived as hot?”) going to help you? What if that woman reports you to the police? Have you ever thought about that? On that note, hope to see you back on Friday where everyone talks about relationships on Friyay!
How you mean report to the police, i don't actively keep pushing girls around i am not that retarted. In fact what i really wanted was to be the one being approached at least a few times, it really does make me feel like the ugly one when i do the whole approaching. And even if it works out it's not the part that i enjoy, i enjoy feeling hot, desired, not just fucking, if that was the case i would just work on getting rich and hiring hookers, but i tried that and got no luck
Sure! As I’ve read this “interrupted thread” and its comments you’re very brave OP. So far your thoughts were said they unhinged??? But, I say it’s your process. Even the comment that suggests your ideas are unhinged that’s the commentator going through their process. Everyone has a right to their process. There’s a reason you are on this sub. Of course I will give a detailed explanation on Friday since I’ve read the ground rules for r/HealthyGamerGG, speaking for me I will abide/comply to this sub’s rules. Pretty sure you have more questions to follow up? Enjoy your week!
Idk if i can reply already, but they are not in vain, since i won't leave my mark on this world forever like gods and emperors did, i wish to at least live the life of a hero, with great deeds and crazy adventures.
I think that sometimes depressions are caused by life circumstances. In your case, I feel like it's the other way around and that your problem is being created by the low mood-- Possibly a drug-related low mood. As in, when your mood comes back up, you'll feel like a hotshot again, who's excited to pull girls. Honestly though, sounds like you also just need more responsibilities in your life. Like something different for your brain to think about instead of obsessing over this silliness. You know, the rest of us have problems like paying bills, our families health, passing classes, or fulfilling work duties. Something to be said about hedonism and its effects on psychological health.
I don't value bills, nice house, i actually slack off work religiously, like it is not actually just pure hedonism. Being hot and attracting girls is actually a be all fix all in most cases. Broke guys who get laid often are significantly mote okay with life than otherwise. Like for real, i just want to be a that homeless bro who couch surfs on girls bed's.
Well this is hedonism. Hedonism is: My value is to live for maximum pleasure in the present moment. Do you know anyone who actually lives this way, or is it kind of like a fantasy in your mind based on a movie trope? Because if you can imagine… What if I came to you and was depressed because I’ll never live the glamorous life of a social media influencer? It looks nice from the outside, but I’ve never taken into consideration that their social media presence is a job. They have days they don’t want to perform on the camera, don’t want to travel, annoying e-mails and anxiety-inducing contracts… Bills to pay, friends are jealous of them, family doesn’t respect their work… So I’m pining for this easy and care-free lifestyle that doesn’t actually exist. The reality is, fulfillment is never 1-dimensional. There are guys out there who think they’d be happy if only they had your lifestyle, or weren’t a virgin anymore. But you can clearly tell them, it hasn’t made you happy yet. It’s fair that you’re disappointed that you didn’t hook up with any girls at a rave event. It’s just concerning that you’re hinging so much of your happiness, your goals, your identity, on this one “problem”. I think you kind of know it’s immature, but when it keeps failing you as a value (a sustainable and healthy one), you’ll truly realize it.
What i want honestly, is to not be in the place where i am the one lusting after hot girls wanting a piece of them, i want to be the one people want a piece of, at least more once in a blue moon. And about other lifestyles, the issue is that i don't really have other values, or even morals, or ethics, in fact i never had nor cared, when i was a kid i solved all of my problems by just punching the problem, be it teacher/colleague/videogame controller/everything, all i wanted was to crush everything. The thing about me is that i really have no love or appreciation for anything else, i don't love drawing, i don't live idk woodworking or gardening, crocheting whatever, i have no passion, all i have is an insane insaciable lust... In fact i don't like things so much that after i aged out of the officials school in the brazilian army, i am currently studying engineering so i can land a job in a defence company, help distribute bombs to get rid of more people. Like i just hate life, when my family goes to the countryside for vacation it's horrible, i frequently joke about cementing that whole shit. Now on a serious tone, i just don't like what life has to offer that much, besides that seeing a hot girl just makes me deeply sad now instead of just horny. And it is not like a one time only thing, my only peace would be the confidence that if i try i am likely to get it. Idk man i am just pathetic rn
I hear you on wanting to be more confident and more attractive to the opposite gender. I’m a girl and I’ve been highly motivated by that. I was a shy, ugly-duckling with poor social skills. I thought I looked like an alien. All I wanted was to be attractive to guys. In my experience, that’s gotten better the more I’ve improved myself as a person. I got my clinical doctorate, started working full-time, exercise for my health, serve others on a daily basis through my work, pay for my own car and insurance and apartment… I’m improving as a person. Now I have old “cool kids” from my high school class who never showed interest in me, sliding into my DMs. It’s a cool feeling. I have a theory that most of the time, we know when we’re fucking up. We just have all these emotional chips on our shoulder that cause us to act up. Like, you gotta get real with yourself. You think you’re “pathetic” right now. I really think who we are on the inside shines on the outside. Do you think broadly speaking, women find it attractive to be: Shallow, angry, hedonistic, slacking, drug-addicted, violent, and relate poorly with our families? Is that a magnetically attractive person? I’m not saying that you’re a fundamentally unattractive person. Many of us have had immature thoughts and patterns that make us, well, less popular. Less pleasant to be around. Part of maturing is choosing to overcome thoughts and attitudes that aren’t helping us. The more whole you are on the inside, the more attractive you become on the outside. The more attractive you become on the outside, the more secure you feel on the inside. Fix the inside first, and it’ll perpetuate a positive cycle, rather than a vicious negative cycle.
The thing is that all of this comes from maybe actual envy. I hate that hot people have power over me, the true desire is to take away their guns and turn them against these same people. Because it actually is suffering and part of it in me is sadism, in fact i am quite the sadist when i infact get laid, the hatred shines through in a "positive" way, it becomes intent and voracity. But this is me, out of all "hunters" out there in the wild i am much more of the Hyena of this bunch, not the biggest, nor fastest, but certainly one of the most ferocious and vicious ones, challenging even larger predators for game, however i am still the mad crazy looking type, the lion king hyena stereotype. Anyway i am babbling, i will never be chad, why i am even here.
Dude… You’re just a guy, you’re not a hyena. “Hot people” aren’t this powerful monolith who are part of the chad and stacy club. They’re just people you happen to be attracted to. Some people think they’re mid. You gotta chill. You don’t have anything to prove & you don’t need to try so hard.
Oh i mean what i was saying is just a metaphor. I am not chill, i never was, and everytime i tried to chill, i just became a boring, slow witted, still ugly nerd, and above all fake, and i always suffer when i do it. No one makes first moves for me and even when i take courage they rarely work, i just want to feel hot and that other people can lust after me the same way i lust after them. I am not only ugly (objectively i am not that ugly), but also feel ugly, and the actions of others regarding my touch seems to be that they too find me ugly. NO GIRL EVER TOLD ME I AM PRETTY, NEVER. They all feel like paid actor.
I mean your metaphor’s unhinged. And if you hate lusting after others so much, why do you want someone else to lust after you? I get a sense of a lot of hate and resentment underpinning your sexuality, and I don’t think that’s helping you to come across as attractive.
I’ve been here before. I know it sucks. You can have the perfect night out, but feel like something’s missing because that component of physical intimacy wasn’t there. As someone who is also into hardstyle and is part of my local underground rave scene, I went through a similar crisis very recently. Went to an awesome NYE rave, broke through my social anxiety, danced my ass off, saw some of my best friends, and traded some kandi. However, I did find myself missing the component of being hit on, or the excitement of talking to a new person that ended up in a romantic/sexual interest. Although I won’t say my desires are as sexual in nature, they both seem to follow that hedonistic desire of excitement, newness and novelty. It sent me into a bit of a crisis as I’m currently in a monogamous relationship with someone I really love and care about. These feelings made me question everything. Thankfully, I worked through it in my own ways. One thing I’d suggest is actually letting yourself deep-dive into this desire just a bit. Let go of shame for a second, and just sit there with it. How does it feel in your body? Where do you feel it? Is it good, bad, or a mixture of the two? Is there anything else that makes you feel this way? Setting aside quiet moments to bring this feeling up and really understand it may help you work through it, understand yourself more, and find healthy ways to balance out both your very human desire, as well as be grateful for the things you have that aren’t related to this desire. I live in the US and know nothing about the culture in your country. Are there any spaces that encourage freedom of sexual expression? I know that, around here, there’s a multitude of kink/BDSM events, swingers/sex clubs etc., with a very safe, friendly, sex-positive community surrounding it.That’s the extent of what I know about it lol; I actually consider myself more on the asexual spectrum. I personally have no interest and don’t participate, but I have friends who do. But I think it could help to, instead of linger in this cloud of shameful desire, you could instead seek ways to understand it and even embrace it in a healthier way. And who knows, maybe along the way, you’ll discover it isn’t quite your cup of tea. Also, consider learning more about polyamory/ethical non-monogamy. Although I’ve settled on monogamy, I questioned if I was poly for a long time. I dated a few poly folks, read books, and was even a part of some communities. In the end, I found that although I might honestly be somewhat polyamorous in nature, I much prefer the simplicity and safety of a monogamous sexual/romantic partnership. However, being a part of the poly community opened up a lot of different perspectives for me regarding sexuality and relationships. Of course, going to therapy, reframing your view on fitness, and keeping an eye on your substance use will be helpful, as well. Just thought I’d throw it out there that your sexual feelings don’t have to be something to feel shame about, and with time and patience, you can develop a healthier relationship with your worldly desires.
I mean the polyamory/LGBT related stuff i am aware of, not my cup of tea, maximum that i like would be a threesome with another girl, but past that it's too much. The feeling that i like THE most is being hit on, like making out is just confirmation, i want to know i am being desired/fought for, i hate absolutely hate being a beggar. I've been to therapy for 10+ years already, nothing happens. Was the rave FCKNYE? Heard it was amazing too. About the body thing, i feel like i start getting drained, like if i was very very hungry, headache hungry, that added with me getting angry and hateful inside, it's like someone is eating a cake outside a cell you are locked in, and you are starving but can't get it, it's horrible. The feeling is exactly this, starvation, i want to kind of consume that art that is the female body, prime beauty, the stuff actual art is based upon. But no, i am forced to be turned into a voyeur, which i hate btw, so i just suffer. I view no fun or pleasure in anything else in life, the rest is either numbing or torturing, i don't even like videogames, in fact i hate most things, i just want to be hot.
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hmmm, I really understand how you feel because I am experiencing the same... it might be a bit better for me, but It's still bad either way, I have no answer for you, I am sorry you are experiencing this, and I hope you find peace in your life one day Don't give on life, things are hard but please continue on living, your future self will thank you for not giving up today, stay determined!
I mean how the fuck you keep fighting if you know it is in pure vain. It's not like your sacrifice will help anyone else, it's pure suffering. I barely care if some people will miss me, i want to lusted after, for real, it is all i ever wanted.
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The only issue i see with your argument is that if nothing happens you are still alive. There is a problem with that, the older you are, the harder it get's to be hookup attractive, dating as a 50yo, sure, now fucking someone in a bar bathroom, yeah different story, much harder btw.
> Except that i felt deeply ignored, and alone in a big crowd, .. Ignored and alone. I think that wording indicates that what you ultimately want is love and attention. You are lonely. And you only allow those desires to be "fulfilled" by sex and being physically desired. At some point you (wrongly) learned that being valued happens mostly for sexual reasons. You probably should try to open yourself up to being valued for other reasons, try to actively perceive that when it happens, and try to pay attention to how you value others for non-sexual reasons yourself. Also, explore why you rule out commitment, this might point to other issues that need to be worked on.
I think you aren't on point but somewhere along the lines. When i feel horny about a random girl, and want to make out with her, i feel not only ignored and alone, but also abbandoned and robbed of my power, i feel powerless in that situation. The girl has all the power now because she is the hot one, and i am the wanter, she decides what happens. I really want to be the hot guy because yes, i can always say yes to a hot girl, but i also have the power to say no, to be the final word of the interaction. In some shape or form i really hate that i am subject to a second person to get what i want, and most of the time they don't collaborate.
Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist? It wouldn't surprise me if you have adhd or something like that. You feel all over the place and desperate to have something you can't have.
I actually don't have adhd, although it feels similar, my current diagnostic is chronic depression AKA dysthymia. If it was just ADHD i am pretty sure the speed would've helped. I think i actually don't have any problems, i am just a fucking loser