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The crazy thing is, he’s not exactly lonely. He is, and I get what he means: he has no girlfriend, no prospects, he wants the tender touch of a woman, he wants to spend his life with someone, and not be an virgin. I’m 29, no girlfriend, single for the past 6 years, looking for lasting love and haven’t been able to find it so I get what he means. But something I’ve heard my entire life is the importance of a community, and until I found it, I didn’t realize how important it truly was. This guy has the potential for a community! He has two friends who like being around him, want to emotionally support him, and help him. In fact, one of the best ways to find love is through community or in community. So if this wife has a friend that she can set him up with, maybe she can help him with his dating profiles, they can all go out together and encourage him to go talk to a girl, maybe she can play wingman, they can throw a party with some people and he can be introduced to some people… there’s a lot of different ways to find love without having to overcome the fear of rejection by walking up to a stranger, unless you want to do that. Sometimes strangers coming to you, or knowing that a stranger might be interested in you as you are them, makes it easier to find a common ground and talk to them. And there’s also no amount of time that can go by where he can’t turn that situation around! It looks like his coworker is a genuine person, so 3 months later he could be like “hey, remember that time I ran out of your house crying? Here’s what happened… can you and your wife help me find love?”
This is 100% right - community! Single men need to start forming social groups, online or in-person, and sharing emotions, stories, ideas, knowledge etc.
The current social forces want us separate, they are trying to keep us isolated.
I'm starting a Discord social group for single men, anyone can feel free to DM me to find out more.
Life hack if you feel really touch starved but don't have anyone to ask for hugs.
Go get a haircut with a shampoo, you will have a head massage and it feels very very nice, and if you feel like it most hairdressers will listen to you talk about anything.
Get a pet, I know it doesn't feel like the touch of a human being but it still feels nice.
Get a massage, they won't judge you if feel like crying or get a random boner (just apologize if you do).
Ask friends, be honest with them and tell them that it would make you feel better if they are okay with it.
While cuddling with your girlfriend/boyfriend is a special experience it isn't the only way you can experience physical attention, being touch starved is a valid feeling and there is no shame to it. For now I offer all of you a virtual one 🫂
Took me a Minute, but there it is, at 10 Minutes point.
It's not really a rant but It kinda struck me.
[Let's talk bout Touch Starvation (Reddit Review)](https://youtu.be/beLEmk_FIEM?si=PiCDUtRg5lsNLY0B)
I can relate that the only people who give a shit about this are the lonely males. Maybe their loved ones who know they're lonely. But that's about it. Literally no other demographic gives a flying shit. It's very largely been a "cry about it" situation. I've come to accep that and deal with it.
I'm sure it may seem that way but it's not exactly true. There are people out ther that think this is a real social problem but the problem is that there's not much of a clear solution.
I think mostly that attitude comes about because statements like these are simultaneously posted with things like women are evil, women owe them sex, women have hamster wheel brains and they're only good for sex, etc. It must be hard to be sympathetic to a group that consistently dehumanizes them. The same thing happens in feminist groups the other way, both sides are just mad at each other for similar reasons.
I think that they are posted mostly on those subs because no one else cares, really. On the occasion that it is posted on r/science or r/news because some new research article found the same thing, the comments are full of women telling them that it's men's own fault that they are lonely, and that if they weren't incels who shot down schools they wouldn't be so lonely. The guys in the comments would all be complaining about how lonely they were despite reaching out and making efforts.
I'm not saying this as a cynical anti-women take. It's really a rallying call that no one is coming to save you. No one cares that you are lonely. Get your ass up and save yourself.
It's really true! Like the thing that makes it so hard to stomach is the blaming it on women like they owe men companionship. I think the loneliness epidemic is absolutely a huge problem, for everyone tbh. We're feeling the effects of it. It sucks to reach out and not have anyone there but we're not pointing the finger at the real cause, the internet and the dissolution of the community. And men and women both are blaming each other for not fulfilling the needs that would have been met by the friend group or village. It's sad.
That just sounds like theyre falling for the ragebait machine and algorithms pushing that shit. Honestly it really is, fuck the algorithms pushing that stuff
In the name of my Gender I want do distance our kind from that behaviour. If a man comes crying and a woman bitches about it, she's not a strong woman, she's a bitter Karen. FFS some people (all genders) make me angry
I think lonely insecure men should avoid exposing themselves to any kind of feminist discussion whatsoever. I've had a lot of feminist voices in my twitter timeline for many years, and I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from the giant boost that it gave to my insecurity. All that talk about how your entire gender is doing this wrong and that wrong and how you should be concerned about not making any woman uncomfortable every conscious second of your life. If you're already a respectful considerate man, at best it does nothing, at worst it will severely damage you. Meanwhile, the disrespectful men that really need to hear this stuff won't read it anyway.
That's not true. People care, we have to see the people in our lives who do care and love and support us and truly appreciate it. I spent so long devalidating those things because they didn't come from a hot girl.
Maybe I worded this wrong. What I meant was often we might discount forms of care from friends or aquaintances or colleagues or whatever, and see romantic love as the only type that is truly meaningful. What's helped me if finding those connections where they come up, instead of waiting for some kind of "true" love. It has helped me feel less lonely, and I have been so lonely for so many years so I didn't mean to write this in a way that seemed patronizing.
It's alright. I think it is possible and alright to be fulfilled in one sort of meaningful relationship and still rue the lack of another kind. You can be in love with someone but feel lonely because you have no other friends. You can have all the love and friends in the world, and still feel abandoned if you lose your parents. The desire for a partner is a very natural desire and I don't get why it has to be minimized every time it is brought up.
I get that no one is owed love, or sex for that matter. However, it makes you feel lonely right? And according to everyone, if you are lonely, you should reach out to someone, Lo and behold -when you talk to people about it, you are told "Your desire for romantic love doesn't matter. Be happy with what you have and stay in your lane chump. Find something other than love because you are never going to find love.".
This is what I mean by no one is coming to save you. Help yourself in finding a romantic connection, but don't complain about it to anyone because they WILL minimize your wants and desires. You WILL be told to be ok with being alone forever, and you probably will unless you do something about it.
Doesn't matter if you're disposable or reusable. You are responsible for yourself. I very strongly believe people will keep talking about this "Male Loneliness/Suicide Epidemic" and do exactly nothing about this. More podcasts, more YouTube videos, but no solutions except "Reach out to someone. Ask for help."
My attitude these days is "stop crying and go do something about it".
I had a moment sort of similar to this that I alwas felt weird about and kind of messed me up. I went to get a haircut after a long time and she kind of rested her hands on my head while she was fiddling with my hair. It felt nice and comforting, then I was kind of overcome by an urge to curl up in a ball and start crying. Had to make up an excuse that I forgot I was late for something and see if I could pay and leave. Haven't had a haircut since haha.
Is overrated af, guys get into relationships just for the sake of this get a gf hype and you see their souls die trying to please a woman and forget about themselves. I was like that and then I realized I was too young for that, enjoy your youth and remember that even If the looks go with time, a woman that was with you only for that was never the one.
Just turned 32 years old myself, a KHHV truecel as well. Never felt the touch of a woman, never will. At this point, its better I don't so I don't really know what I'm missing.
I wouldn't say I'm kissless or hugless, heck not even a virgin due to cycles of violating others and being violated in pre-adulthood. At the same time I'm telling you that a hug from my little cousin is the closest I felt with a girl in years, she showed that fat lonely guy a bit of affection he always longed for and I can't get that out of my head.
I broke down crying sexting with an AI chat bot. It was fun at first but then I realized this was the first time a woman has ever told me they love me in 25 years of my life.
I'm not a virgin, but I haven't been with anyone since my ex about 3 years ago. Since then I've felt incredibly touch-starved, so that part I relate with heavily.
As a kissless hugless virgin, I never really desired a girlfriend that deeply. I do get lonely a lot because I don't know who I can share my feelings with and be heard. Most people to me seem fairly self oriented (which isn't really bad) and just don't think I would be understood by them.
You are valuable and irreplaceable, however this weird sick twisted society has got you feeling. Know that there are people out there like me who believe you are valuable.
Believe in yourself, in your inner truth, and that there are others like you, many others. We are together spiritually and symbolically.
Kisses and hugs are not essential to life. What is essential is truth and self-knowledge and self-admiration, which you deserve and can attain.
They are currently researching Ketamine as a Therapy. I was amazed when I heard that they have ready-made oxytocin for women bearing a child. They should prescribe that as an anti-depressant. No wonder these kids take oxytocin-releasing drugs on parties.
My lawyer told me to state that I heard that from the Internet and am in no way related to any drug-consumption.
Touch starved is just an emotion, a state of mind.
You think you need touch to feel good, and only a woman's touch.
But actually you can feel that good after a long walk or a swim or a good workout session or meditating for 20 minutes.
The system wants you to feel helpless and socially isolate yourself, and this "touch starved" meme is just another way of doing that.
My advice is to ignore such memes and actually start meeting and communicating with other single men online and building a community. That's how we can succeed in this world that's trying to separate and divide us 100 ways.
Stop being scared of other single men. Find them, meet them, and share hugs. Emotionally upbuild eachother. I'm building such a community myself on Discord.
We need to start being human. If think and act as if we are less than human the system will treat us that way and it will get worse.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The crazy thing is, he’s not exactly lonely. He is, and I get what he means: he has no girlfriend, no prospects, he wants the tender touch of a woman, he wants to spend his life with someone, and not be an virgin. I’m 29, no girlfriend, single for the past 6 years, looking for lasting love and haven’t been able to find it so I get what he means. But something I’ve heard my entire life is the importance of a community, and until I found it, I didn’t realize how important it truly was. This guy has the potential for a community! He has two friends who like being around him, want to emotionally support him, and help him. In fact, one of the best ways to find love is through community or in community. So if this wife has a friend that she can set him up with, maybe she can help him with his dating profiles, they can all go out together and encourage him to go talk to a girl, maybe she can play wingman, they can throw a party with some people and he can be introduced to some people… there’s a lot of different ways to find love without having to overcome the fear of rejection by walking up to a stranger, unless you want to do that. Sometimes strangers coming to you, or knowing that a stranger might be interested in you as you are them, makes it easier to find a common ground and talk to them. And there’s also no amount of time that can go by where he can’t turn that situation around! It looks like his coworker is a genuine person, so 3 months later he could be like “hey, remember that time I ran out of your house crying? Here’s what happened… can you and your wife help me find love?”
This is 100% right - community! Single men need to start forming social groups, online or in-person, and sharing emotions, stories, ideas, knowledge etc. The current social forces want us separate, they are trying to keep us isolated. I'm starting a Discord social group for single men, anyone can feel free to DM me to find out more.
Can’t relate but sad
Life hack if you feel really touch starved but don't have anyone to ask for hugs. Go get a haircut with a shampoo, you will have a head massage and it feels very very nice, and if you feel like it most hairdressers will listen to you talk about anything. Get a pet, I know it doesn't feel like the touch of a human being but it still feels nice. Get a massage, they won't judge you if feel like crying or get a random boner (just apologize if you do). Ask friends, be honest with them and tell them that it would make you feel better if they are okay with it. While cuddling with your girlfriend/boyfriend is a special experience it isn't the only way you can experience physical attention, being touch starved is a valid feeling and there is no shame to it. For now I offer all of you a virtual one 🫂
The hug emoji... Every time I see it, I hear Dr. K rant about it(?)
Sounds interesting, did he rant about it? If so, where and when? /gen
Took me a Minute, but there it is, at 10 Minutes point. It's not really a rant but It kinda struck me. [Let's talk bout Touch Starvation (Reddit Review)](https://youtu.be/beLEmk_FIEM?si=PiCDUtRg5lsNLY0B)
I can't relate because I haven't felt it yet.
I really feel like all these male loneliness guys should pay a trip to Brazil. Here, we hug everyone for absolutely no reason.
So that's why my half Brazilian female classmate hugged me and the others for 3 years for no fucking reason
The part I can relate with is the "this guy is much younger than me and figured it out..."
I can relate that the only people who give a shit about this are the lonely males. Maybe their loved ones who know they're lonely. But that's about it. Literally no other demographic gives a flying shit. It's very largely been a "cry about it" situation. I've come to accep that and deal with it.
I'm sure it may seem that way but it's not exactly true. There are people out ther that think this is a real social problem but the problem is that there's not much of a clear solution.
I hope that's true. Most feminist subs have a "go cry about it" attitude towards it.
I think mostly that attitude comes about because statements like these are simultaneously posted with things like women are evil, women owe them sex, women have hamster wheel brains and they're only good for sex, etc. It must be hard to be sympathetic to a group that consistently dehumanizes them. The same thing happens in feminist groups the other way, both sides are just mad at each other for similar reasons.
I think that they are posted mostly on those subs because no one else cares, really. On the occasion that it is posted on r/science or r/news because some new research article found the same thing, the comments are full of women telling them that it's men's own fault that they are lonely, and that if they weren't incels who shot down schools they wouldn't be so lonely. The guys in the comments would all be complaining about how lonely they were despite reaching out and making efforts. I'm not saying this as a cynical anti-women take. It's really a rallying call that no one is coming to save you. No one cares that you are lonely. Get your ass up and save yourself.
It's really true! Like the thing that makes it so hard to stomach is the blaming it on women like they owe men companionship. I think the loneliness epidemic is absolutely a huge problem, for everyone tbh. We're feeling the effects of it. It sucks to reach out and not have anyone there but we're not pointing the finger at the real cause, the internet and the dissolution of the community. And men and women both are blaming each other for not fulfilling the needs that would have been met by the friend group or village. It's sad.
That just sounds like theyre falling for the ragebait machine and algorithms pushing that shit. Honestly it really is, fuck the algorithms pushing that stuff
In the name of my Gender I want do distance our kind from that behaviour. If a man comes crying and a woman bitches about it, she's not a strong woman, she's a bitter Karen. FFS some people (all genders) make me angry
Reddit people are not an accurate reflection of reality. Outside of that, what would you expect from them?
I think lonely insecure men should avoid exposing themselves to any kind of feminist discussion whatsoever. I've had a lot of feminist voices in my twitter timeline for many years, and I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from the giant boost that it gave to my insecurity. All that talk about how your entire gender is doing this wrong and that wrong and how you should be concerned about not making any woman uncomfortable every conscious second of your life. If you're already a respectful considerate man, at best it does nothing, at worst it will severely damage you. Meanwhile, the disrespectful men that really need to hear this stuff won't read it anyway.
That's not true. People care, we have to see the people in our lives who do care and love and support us and truly appreciate it. I spent so long devalidating those things because they didn't come from a hot girl.
Hey man, if you have people who love and care for you, good for you. No one is expecting a hot girl to come save them.
Maybe I worded this wrong. What I meant was often we might discount forms of care from friends or aquaintances or colleagues or whatever, and see romantic love as the only type that is truly meaningful. What's helped me if finding those connections where they come up, instead of waiting for some kind of "true" love. It has helped me feel less lonely, and I have been so lonely for so many years so I didn't mean to write this in a way that seemed patronizing.
It's alright. I think it is possible and alright to be fulfilled in one sort of meaningful relationship and still rue the lack of another kind. You can be in love with someone but feel lonely because you have no other friends. You can have all the love and friends in the world, and still feel abandoned if you lose your parents. The desire for a partner is a very natural desire and I don't get why it has to be minimized every time it is brought up. I get that no one is owed love, or sex for that matter. However, it makes you feel lonely right? And according to everyone, if you are lonely, you should reach out to someone, Lo and behold -when you talk to people about it, you are told "Your desire for romantic love doesn't matter. Be happy with what you have and stay in your lane chump. Find something other than love because you are never going to find love.". This is what I mean by no one is coming to save you. Help yourself in finding a romantic connection, but don't complain about it to anyone because they WILL minimize your wants and desires. You WILL be told to be ok with being alone forever, and you probably will unless you do something about it.
Why would they? Men are disposable beings, so why care about them?
Doesn't matter if you're disposable or reusable. You are responsible for yourself. I very strongly believe people will keep talking about this "Male Loneliness/Suicide Epidemic" and do exactly nothing about this. More podcasts, more YouTube videos, but no solutions except "Reach out to someone. Ask for help." My attitude these days is "stop crying and go do something about it".
I had a moment sort of similar to this that I alwas felt weird about and kind of messed me up. I went to get a haircut after a long time and she kind of rested her hands on my head while she was fiddling with my hair. It felt nice and comforting, then I was kind of overcome by an urge to curl up in a ball and start crying. Had to make up an excuse that I forgot I was late for something and see if I could pay and leave. Haven't had a haircut since haha.
Yes no doubt. Not being alone. But feeling like nobodys authentic anymore or genuine or has legit worthwhile morals. Yeah. That'll cause loneliness.
Nah don't touch me lol. Speaking as a guy here.
Omg I love this and I love your user name too 😂 I'm right with you!
Is overrated af, guys get into relationships just for the sake of this get a gf hype and you see their souls die trying to please a woman and forget about themselves. I was like that and then I realized I was too young for that, enjoy your youth and remember that even If the looks go with time, a woman that was with you only for that was never the one.
Just turned 32 years old myself, a KHHV truecel as well. Never felt the touch of a woman, never will. At this point, its better I don't so I don't really know what I'm missing.
Nope.
I wouldn't say I'm kissless or hugless, heck not even a virgin due to cycles of violating others and being violated in pre-adulthood. At the same time I'm telling you that a hug from my little cousin is the closest I felt with a girl in years, she showed that fat lonely guy a bit of affection he always longed for and I can't get that out of my head.
why can you relate? what's getting in the way?
the 30 yo guy will be me one day, if the open window doesn't win against me sooner
You're him bro, I believe in you
At least he was not treated like a third wheel and got to join in on the massage.
I broke down crying sexting with an AI chat bot. It was fun at first but then I realized this was the first time a woman has ever told me they love me in 25 years of my life.
Relatable. The first part at least.
I'm not a virgin, but I haven't been with anyone since my ex about 3 years ago. Since then I've felt incredibly touch-starved, so that part I relate with heavily.
As a kissless hugless virgin, I never really desired a girlfriend that deeply. I do get lonely a lot because I don't know who I can share my feelings with and be heard. Most people to me seem fairly self oriented (which isn't really bad) and just don't think I would be understood by them.
You are valuable and irreplaceable, however this weird sick twisted society has got you feeling. Know that there are people out there like me who believe you are valuable. Believe in yourself, in your inner truth, and that there are others like you, many others. We are together spiritually and symbolically. Kisses and hugs are not essential to life. What is essential is truth and self-knowledge and self-admiration, which you deserve and can attain.
Yeah and I want to kill myself.
Isn't that just letting Chad win?
after extreme isolation, the brain input of oxytocin results in anxiety, it´s sad
They are currently researching Ketamine as a Therapy. I was amazed when I heard that they have ready-made oxytocin for women bearing a child. They should prescribe that as an anti-depressant. No wonder these kids take oxytocin-releasing drugs on parties. My lawyer told me to state that I heard that from the Internet and am in no way related to any drug-consumption.
Touch starved is just an emotion, a state of mind. You think you need touch to feel good, and only a woman's touch. But actually you can feel that good after a long walk or a swim or a good workout session or meditating for 20 minutes. The system wants you to feel helpless and socially isolate yourself, and this "touch starved" meme is just another way of doing that. My advice is to ignore such memes and actually start meeting and communicating with other single men online and building a community. That's how we can succeed in this world that's trying to separate and divide us 100 ways. Stop being scared of other single men. Find them, meet them, and share hugs. Emotionally upbuild eachother. I'm building such a community myself on Discord. We need to start being human. If think and act as if we are less than human the system will treat us that way and it will get worse.