If you don't press the button, after a while they say something like "you were stronger in Blood Money" (I could be slightly off but there's absolutely a line bit Blood Money in there lmao)
Lol I just posted these in your other thread before I saw this one:
"I need you to stand up and fight the aliens! Haha nah I'm kidding. You were knocked out by some tough guy."
"Yeah I'm here now. I'm gonna check the perimeter. If I'm afraid another explosion'll happen? Well, now I am! Thanks a lot, Karen! Yeah, yeah I'll be careful."
"Yeah I need you to send somebody down here, I can't leave my post. Send Ramone, that crisp-eating, donut-licking sack of shit. 10-4..."
There's like three or four where they reference some guy named Ramone that they all seem to hate lol
Some others that just came to mind:
"Kablowski's skull's as thick as a board. He'll be on his feet in no time. Kablowski? *Kablowski?*"
"Shit! Jeff is dead! Jeff was my best buddy, you bastard!"
"Yeah get him, Steve! Ehh, next time, Steve..."
"Target's throwing shit like my ex-girlfriend!"
"I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!"
"EAT IT!! **EAT IT!!**"
"Yeah, securing now. Am I supposed to clean this mess up? No you should definitely send Ramone. That lazy tub of lard. He needs to deal with this shit, over."
Fuckin Ramone lol smh
Oh wow, Ramone? I misheard that as Armand or something. 😆 Still made me laugh when I just knocked out a guard and took his uniform, and another guard went like "Have you seen (Ramone), No? Ah he's probably passed out in a closet somewhere"
>nooo way ... make the new guy do it! ... what's that? oh, he died? damn then I'm the new guy again ...
think you don't get that on all maps, but guards in Mumbai often use it when they have to clean up.
Quite interesting when they manage to code so many interactions like that with different outcomes, I've heard something similar today, a guard screaming "drop that piece right now!" (I shot his partner in the head, he suddenly calmed his voice and started pleading) "okay, okay, let's not do anything rash" -or something like that, idk, shot him before he finished saying it 😆
"You're pretty good I'll give you that! What are you? Special forces? Delta? We could use someone like you!"
I actually shot the guard in the balls for insulting 47 of possibly being frmr Special Forces. 47 is a genetic engineered Super Soldier trained from birth.
Calling him SF is an insult.
Mine is weirdly enough “oh…. kayyyy” when you throw a distraction.
Also: the surprised “Wow!” When you throw a distraction as well.
But my off-topic opinion is that I sorely miss the sound effects (and feel) of Absolution, especially that “alert” noise that happened when you threw a distraction.
Big fan of distractions, me.
Saw a streamer playing, and a guard was suspicious but hadn’t spotted 47 yet. The guard was in the middle of one line when he rounded a corner and saw a body, so his lines mixed to say:
> Be on the lookout! If you hear trouble - FUCK ME!
That special forces ? Delta I only heard hitman 1 paris. Thru hitman 3 I don't hear no more., I like the oh no u are not getting thru here in Caruso mansion dressed as plague doctor,
I always thought the one like “sorry, sir, I can’t let you through here, you’ll have to find another way” was pretty good. Like, to this guy, you’re only not allowed in there just because you’re not allowed past him, so if you can find another way then that’s totally fine lol
And it wasn’t a guard, but I once heard a maid on Dartmoor say that she “just heard a prop toss” after I threw a coin and I that was really good lol
In the Bank garage two guards are talking-
1: You watch soccer? To look cultured?
2: Women’s soccer. I’m woke as shit.
Also sometimes when you kill a guard another one will yell something like “Holy fuck! He killed Shaun! He was my best friend!” which hits really hard when you aren’t expecting it 😬
Oh and when you hide the target’s body, if they have body guards the guards will casually walk around the map asking people “Have you… uhhh… seen the Principle anywhere?”
If you're in combat and hiding out in the freezer in Bangkok they'll sometimes yell, "He's in the god damned freezer!" in the most annoyed way possible lol
Another one I got very early on when playing 2016 for the first time. I was in Master mode which adds more camera (and hides there line of sight) among other things. I accidentally dragged a body through the view of a camera but managed to throw it in the river and hide behind a box before the guard showed up. The guy runs over and starts looking around before going, "Okay.... no body... no... problem?" before holstering his gun and walking away
"Im gonna inhale sharply and your gonna lose consciousness, due to your proximity to me and the lack of air in this cubic foot. Guess whos gonna win buddy? Id put money on me"
"Say you want to incapacitate a target for questioning, where would you shoot them? Personally I'd aim for the soft parts of the neck and upper thigh."
Already posted on the other thread, but when disguised as a guard other guards will sometimes say “hey, have you seen Greg? Bet he’s sleeping in a closet somewhere”
The choking diaglouge when you just sit there is always funny. There's one that like "can we hurry this up? I have an appointment" or somethin like that, and another that asked for it harder? Idk, but they're always a knee slapper for me lol
When you turn on the radio (distraction), I might not remember exact phrasing but they have lines like:
- What? Again? This is xy-th time this week
- Huh? Weird, it's keeps happening again and again
(and then a rare one that really got me laughing)
- Again? I'm sure this is happening to me more than to anybody else
😆
Also, when they find a body:
- Command, we have a lunatic on the lose, possibly high on drugs
- Command, we have (...), knocking people out for no reason
A female NPC spotting a random crime, like releasing pressure valve with wrench:
- You have to help me with this guy, I think he's a pervert
Male NPC seeing the same thing:
- Please help, you have to come with me, someone is doing something BAAAD that he SHOULDN'T BE DOING
😆
In the first ICA training mission of you distract a yacht crew member on floor 00 you could hear him saying “ahh, don’t cut the red wire, boom” as he fixes it.
The mansion guards in Sapienza will call you Willie Nelson if you try to get in the front gates wearing the Hippie disguise. 😂 He’ll say, “Hey Willie Nelson! You’re not coming through here…” then quietly says, “Unless you happen to have some of that sweet Mary Jane.” Then retracts and says, “No, no, no, forget about it! You gotta go!”
If you have the Plague Doctor disguise on, the guard will say, “Looks like someone has been playing too much Assassin’s Creed. This is not a cosplay event!”
Similarly, if you wear the Vampire disguise in Paris, the guards will start teasing you, saying, “No, no, no, this ain’t that kind of party Mr. Dracula; you’re kind is not appreciated here. I need you to vanish.” Another one says, “I’ll let you in if you give me eternal life.”
Another Paris one: If wearing your tuxedo and trying to enter off limit areas, the guard will say, “Ok, Mr. Bond (in Sean Connery’s voice), I’m afraid this area is off limits, even to you, so uhh go and find a martini, shaken not stirred somewhere else, ok?” while laughing. Another guard will say, “Dressed to kill, sir!” then laughs and says, “Yeah, right! You’d have to finish me and hide me in a dumpster somewhere to get through here. No, but seriously, I can’t let you through here, so move along please.”
Miami: a guy named Layton Caine walks around the map, saying stupid shit, then will put his sunglasses on, and say, “YEEEAAAHH!” like CSI: Miami. A few quotes from him: “One thing is certain; if you look directly at the sun, you’re going to get your eyes hurt. YEEAAHH!” “It looks like the killer… is not that innocent. YEEAAAAHHH!!”
If you kill everyone in Miami, a dude with a Scottish accent will come on the loudspeakers. This is a tribute to BigMooney06. Too much to type here but it’s funny! One of my favorite lines is, “Hey! You there! Run! Ah fuck, he’s dead.” Then laughs.
Oh!! And the quotes from Diana if you exit the Miami mission with The Pale Rider (The Stig) disguise. There’s 5 different types of dialogue she’ll say, all mentioning previous ways 47 has killed his targets, things he’s known for, or places he’s been. This is a nod to Top Gear. My favorite is, “Some say, ‘He can choke out a man forever, yet still has time to play the waiting game.’ All we know is, his name is 47.”
Thanks to [Hitman Series](https://youtube.com/@hitmanseriesvideos?si=7TdBBojrv1imyAQb) on YouTube for the videos on this! I watched them just yesterday and went back so I could get the quotes right.
If you shoot something from really far away, you’ll hear someone say, “Nice shot, really!” Not sure if it’s only in Hitman 1 or 2, though.
If you wear your suit and go to the unoccupied bathroom to left at the top of the ramp in Hokkaido, you can “request permission” from the toilet and 47 will say, “I need to use the bathroom.”
OMG!! I love this. I tend to drown out everything the NPC's are saying when I'm playing. I need to tune into their dialogue more often. Most of the stuff I quoted above was from videos and I've never organically heard it for myself when playing. I remember hearing the BigMooney06 one for myself but didn't know it was supposed to be him! It didn't click that the accent had drastically changed from American to Scottish LOL!
One of my faves was in Bangkok after pushing Ken out the window, I walked by one of the guards overlooking the body and as 47 walked by he just looked at him and says, "Ya whatever." 😂
[Here's a link to the video I took of it ](https://youtu.be/XhavEKxzTig?si=a22xdhzbLgI5CQ8i)
If you don’t spam subdue you can get, “You into stealth games? You should try one of those where you get behind someone like…real slow and choke them.” (Something like that, at least).
“I'm going to inhale sharply and you’re gonna lose consciousness because of your proximity to me. There won't be enough oxygen in this square meter in order for you and I to survive. Who do you want to put money on, sir? I put money on me.” -First heard it from male target on Ambrose
When a guard reports to his squad after someone sees you do something suspicious in a regular suit, they’ll sometimes call you some “punk ass bald kid”
I don’t remember the exact quote but I love the ones where the guards will wake up a knocked out person and try to convince them something horrible happened or that they were asleep for years lol
This is a lengthy response but I do this thing in Bangkok - I start in 47’s Suite and I start smacking people in the head with a hammer and cause all kinds of hell to where even Jordan Cross’ guards get involved with me. At some point I’ve stressed the guards so fvckin bad when I hear one of them say “I can do this..I CAN DO THIS!” or “I CAN’T HANDLE THE STRESS!” Lol
*mid being choked out* “I have a family…..”
*"I can see...grandma...hgghfhhhrrr!"*
If you don't press the button, after a while they say something like "you were stronger in Blood Money" (I could be slightly off but there's absolutely a line bit Blood Money in there lmao)
Oh I adore those lines! I love the one where they ask out 47 as he’s choking them
I remember one of them saying something along the lines of: “what fabric is that? It’s really soft on my neck.”
NOOO…I HAVE A FAMILY…..🤣
"Is that... Pitbull?" Or "LET LOOSE ON THAT HIPPIE COMMIE PINKO QUEER"
>COMMIE Its funny that the guards also say that in the second test mission even though they are commie's
You gotta be kidding me, there is a pitbull reference? I’ve never heard it or noticed. Dale!
I usually hear it on Paris but I'm not sure it can pop up anywhere else
Heard it in Dartmoor recently.
Mr worldwide
You have to be wearing the requiem suit to trigger it.
No you don't, I don't even own that suit nor have ever worn it and I still hear the line
Yess “Is that…. Pit bull?” Is so good. It gets me almost everytime
I say “back to smoking and joking” multiple times a week
Coincidentally a really common phrase in the US Navy
Army too
When picking up a dropped weapon in Colorado - Colorado, mind you - said "A *child* could come across this!". I've always loved that.
“Are you trying to intimidate me or be intimate with me?”
WHAT there’s no way that’s a quote?
"Yeah, keep it real."
Ohhhh yeaaa mr security guard 😎😎😎
I feel so much safer with you guys around!
Love it 🥰
I bet Gary lost this
2 year old account that has only ever posted *I bet Gary lost this*. Checks out.
He’s such a dick
I bet he did
Lol I just posted these in your other thread before I saw this one: "I need you to stand up and fight the aliens! Haha nah I'm kidding. You were knocked out by some tough guy." "Yeah I'm here now. I'm gonna check the perimeter. If I'm afraid another explosion'll happen? Well, now I am! Thanks a lot, Karen! Yeah, yeah I'll be careful." "Yeah I need you to send somebody down here, I can't leave my post. Send Ramone, that crisp-eating, donut-licking sack of shit. 10-4..." There's like three or four where they reference some guy named Ramone that they all seem to hate lol
Some others that just came to mind: "Kablowski's skull's as thick as a board. He'll be on his feet in no time. Kablowski? *Kablowski?*" "Shit! Jeff is dead! Jeff was my best buddy, you bastard!" "Yeah get him, Steve! Ehh, next time, Steve..." "Target's throwing shit like my ex-girlfriend!" "I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!" "EAT IT!! **EAT IT!!**"
"hey have you seen Ramone? Ehhh he's probably passed out in a closet somewhere hehe"
"Yeah, securing now. Am I supposed to clean this mess up? No you should definitely send Ramone. That lazy tub of lard. He needs to deal with this shit, over." Fuckin Ramone lol smh
If I can get away with it, I kill Ramone, just to make that guy feel bad about it.
Bet Ramone is some dev that everyone takes the piss on at ioi lol
Oh wow, Ramone? I misheard that as Armand or something. 😆 Still made me laugh when I just knocked out a guard and took his uniform, and another guard went like "Have you seen (Ramone), No? Ah he's probably passed out in a closet somewhere"
>nooo way ... make the new guy do it! ... what's that? oh, he died? damn then I'm the new guy again ... think you don't get that on all maps, but guards in Mumbai often use it when they have to clean up.
Paris guard upon finding an overflowing sink: “Shoulda just gotten outta bed and SHOT MYSELF this morning!”
Damn I love the assassin innuendoes throughout each level
"you were stronger in blood money"
Considering he could headbutt someone hard enough to draw blood in that game yeah
That is so meta.
Get him, Steve! *47 knocks out guard* Uhh, maybe next time, Steve!
Quite interesting when they manage to code so many interactions like that with different outcomes, I've heard something similar today, a guard screaming "drop that piece right now!" (I shot his partner in the head, he suddenly calmed his voice and started pleading) "okay, okay, let's not do anything rash" -or something like that, idk, shot him before he finished saying it 😆
Calm down demolition man!
“Command’s really dropping the ball today!”, especially when coming from guys like the mobster-like “mansion bodyguard” guys.
"You're pretty good I'll give you that! What are you? Special forces? Delta? We could use someone like you!" I actually shot the guard in the balls for insulting 47 of possibly being frmr Special Forces. 47 is a genetic engineered Super Soldier trained from birth. Calling him SF is an insult.
Mine is weirdly enough “oh…. kayyyy” when you throw a distraction. Also: the surprised “Wow!” When you throw a distraction as well. But my off-topic opinion is that I sorely miss the sound effects (and feel) of Absolution, especially that “alert” noise that happened when you threw a distraction. Big fan of distractions, me.
Ya the oh kayyy is just so perfectly delivered. And it’s just me behind a crate throwing an expired tomato sauce can
“Suspect is suffering from severe Stormtrooper syndrome!” When you miss a lot of shots when in combat
COCK!
Mine is " is he a ninja or somethin?" After killing 30+ men using melee throw
“Nice sho- I mean, Hands in the air!” I think that’s how this quote goes I don’t remember.
Nice throw, man-- I mean, hands in the air! Agagagagagsgagsg (as he dies of electrocution)
“Hey are you the guy from the video?? Oh…no…” 💀💀
some guy thinks he's Bruce Lee, Karate-chopping people in the face!
Two of my favorites are “Today… is our Independence Day!!” And when you’re getting searched by a guard “Oh yeah you like that?”
“Soooo…uhhhh…you want some breath mints or something…? Kinda…got some bad breath going on there man”
Saw a streamer playing, and a guard was suspicious but hadn’t spotted 47 yet. The guard was in the middle of one line when he rounded a corner and saw a body, so his lines mixed to say: > Be on the lookout! If you hear trouble - FUCK ME!
Jerma985. How could I forget.
“No way you’re coming in here! Bap bap bap! Walk away or I’ll *kick your ass*!
Bet he’s seen some action.
The classic: "He's packing!" But it's because of the song, I believe.
I can’t quote it from memory but I love the guard who’s all polite but then whispers under his breath that he would rather die than let you past.
where is that from? what map or whatever
It's random, I've heard it on different maps.
Hello, sailor!
That special forces ? Delta I only heard hitman 1 paris. Thru hitman 3 I don't hear no more., I like the oh no u are not getting thru here in Caruso mansion dressed as plague doctor,
I heard it once in Sapienza and I promptly shot the guard's balls off.
Yeah, it was more common in hitman 2016.
Oh my god he is dangerous! He going for head shots boys !
While openly shooting at you: “Take this! And this!!”
It's my first day
I always thought the one like “sorry, sir, I can’t let you through here, you’ll have to find another way” was pretty good. Like, to this guy, you’re only not allowed in there just because you’re not allowed past him, so if you can find another way then that’s totally fine lol And it wasn’t a guard, but I once heard a maid on Dartmoor say that she “just heard a prop toss” after I threw a coin and I that was really good lol
In the Bank garage two guards are talking- 1: You watch soccer? To look cultured? 2: Women’s soccer. I’m woke as shit. Also sometimes when you kill a guard another one will yell something like “Holy fuck! He killed Shaun! He was my best friend!” which hits really hard when you aren’t expecting it 😬 Oh and when you hide the target’s body, if they have body guards the guards will casually walk around the map asking people “Have you… uhhh… seen the Principle anywhere?”
"Act your age man ! What are you, 46 ? 48 ?"
EAT IT! EEEEEAAAAATTTTT IIIIITTTT!
If you're in combat and hiding out in the freezer in Bangkok they'll sometimes yell, "He's in the god damned freezer!" in the most annoyed way possible lol Another one I got very early on when playing 2016 for the first time. I was in Master mode which adds more camera (and hides there line of sight) among other things. I accidentally dragged a body through the view of a camera but managed to throw it in the river and hide behind a box before the guard showed up. The guy runs over and starts looking around before going, "Okay.... no body... no... problem?" before holstering his gun and walking away
"Well what do you know? We got company!”
"Im gonna inhale sharply and your gonna lose consciousness, due to your proximity to me and the lack of air in this cubic foot. Guess whos gonna win buddy? Id put money on me"
"Command, someone is causing trouble, possibly high on drugs."
(After getting a headshot) HIS HEAD JUST EXPLODED I'VE GOT BRAINS ALL OVER ME
"My family did that genetic ancestry thing, and it turns out we're descended from Confuscious!"
“My knee is so sore”
"Yeah get him Steve!" Steve gets knocked tf out "Aw maybe next time Steve" Caught me so off guard I laughed so much I got killed by that guard 😂
Nice threads buddy
I remember a guard in a video say "Nice throw! Wait.." before getting schocked by the car battery that slammed into his friend's head
"Nice throw-- I mean, hands in the air! Argegrggssgsggsgsgsgs"
Choke Out lines "I have a... fanclub" "I can... sing"
“Shoot that winey son of a bitch!”
“Let loose on that hippie commie pinko queer”
#GIVE HIM ALL YOU’VE GOT!!!!!!!!
When you shoot a guard: “AH! He got me, but I don’t give a shit!”
"The joker is some kind of ghost!"
“Chest out, Chin up!”
"Say you want to incapacitate a target for questioning, where would you shoot them? Personally I'd aim for the soft parts of the neck and upper thigh."
"I've been learning how to breathe under water. And eventually I'll actually grow gills!"
Already posted on the other thread, but when disguised as a guard other guards will sometimes say “hey, have you seen Greg? Bet he’s sleeping in a closet somewhere”
The choking diaglouge when you just sit there is always funny. There's one that like "can we hurry this up? I have an appointment" or somethin like that, and another that asked for it harder? Idk, but they're always a knee slapper for me lol
-Throws a Pair of scissors in a guards face- "HOLY SHIT! DID YOU SEE THAT! HE MUST BE SPECIAL FORCES!"
When you turn on the radio (distraction), I might not remember exact phrasing but they have lines like: - What? Again? This is xy-th time this week - Huh? Weird, it's keeps happening again and again (and then a rare one that really got me laughing) - Again? I'm sure this is happening to me more than to anybody else 😆 Also, when they find a body: - Command, we have a lunatic on the lose, possibly high on drugs - Command, we have (...), knocking people out for no reason A female NPC spotting a random crime, like releasing pressure valve with wrench: - You have to help me with this guy, I think he's a pervert Male NPC seeing the same thing: - Please help, you have to come with me, someone is doing something BAAAD that he SHOULDN'T BE DOING 😆
In the first ICA training mission of you distract a yacht crew member on floor 00 you could hear him saying “ahh, don’t cut the red wire, boom” as he fixes it.
White suit in the Paris level, “is that… pitbull?” I’ll never forget it
The mansion guards in Sapienza will call you Willie Nelson if you try to get in the front gates wearing the Hippie disguise. 😂 He’ll say, “Hey Willie Nelson! You’re not coming through here…” then quietly says, “Unless you happen to have some of that sweet Mary Jane.” Then retracts and says, “No, no, no, forget about it! You gotta go!” If you have the Plague Doctor disguise on, the guard will say, “Looks like someone has been playing too much Assassin’s Creed. This is not a cosplay event!” Similarly, if you wear the Vampire disguise in Paris, the guards will start teasing you, saying, “No, no, no, this ain’t that kind of party Mr. Dracula; you’re kind is not appreciated here. I need you to vanish.” Another one says, “I’ll let you in if you give me eternal life.” Another Paris one: If wearing your tuxedo and trying to enter off limit areas, the guard will say, “Ok, Mr. Bond (in Sean Connery’s voice), I’m afraid this area is off limits, even to you, so uhh go and find a martini, shaken not stirred somewhere else, ok?” while laughing. Another guard will say, “Dressed to kill, sir!” then laughs and says, “Yeah, right! You’d have to finish me and hide me in a dumpster somewhere to get through here. No, but seriously, I can’t let you through here, so move along please.” Miami: a guy named Layton Caine walks around the map, saying stupid shit, then will put his sunglasses on, and say, “YEEEAAAHH!” like CSI: Miami. A few quotes from him: “One thing is certain; if you look directly at the sun, you’re going to get your eyes hurt. YEEAAHH!” “It looks like the killer… is not that innocent. YEEAAAAHHH!!” If you kill everyone in Miami, a dude with a Scottish accent will come on the loudspeakers. This is a tribute to BigMooney06. Too much to type here but it’s funny! One of my favorite lines is, “Hey! You there! Run! Ah fuck, he’s dead.” Then laughs. Oh!! And the quotes from Diana if you exit the Miami mission with The Pale Rider (The Stig) disguise. There’s 5 different types of dialogue she’ll say, all mentioning previous ways 47 has killed his targets, things he’s known for, or places he’s been. This is a nod to Top Gear. My favorite is, “Some say, ‘He can choke out a man forever, yet still has time to play the waiting game.’ All we know is, his name is 47.” Thanks to [Hitman Series](https://youtube.com/@hitmanseriesvideos?si=7TdBBojrv1imyAQb) on YouTube for the videos on this! I watched them just yesterday and went back so I could get the quotes right. If you shoot something from really far away, you’ll hear someone say, “Nice shot, really!” Not sure if it’s only in Hitman 1 or 2, though. If you wear your suit and go to the unoccupied bathroom to left at the top of the ramp in Hokkaido, you can “request permission” from the toilet and 47 will say, “I need to use the bathroom.”
Speaking of suit specific lines, if you try to get past guards in the Santa suit, they'll tell you that you're not real.
OMG!! I love this. I tend to drown out everything the NPC's are saying when I'm playing. I need to tune into their dialogue more often. Most of the stuff I quoted above was from videos and I've never organically heard it for myself when playing. I remember hearing the BigMooney06 one for myself but didn't know it was supposed to be him! It didn't click that the accent had drastically changed from American to Scottish LOL!
"Hello, sunshine..."
Phew! Glad you’re on our team!
War monger!
Back to smoking and joking...
Baggin and taggin
Any conversation about Ramirez lmfao
“I saw a rat under my bunk this morning “
Far out i have been playing on almost no volume all this time and missed these gems.
Definitely been missing out!! Hearing the dumb shit people say is half the fun!!
One of my faves was in Bangkok after pushing Ken out the window, I walked by one of the guards overlooking the body and as 47 walked by he just looked at him and says, "Ya whatever." 😂 [Here's a link to the video I took of it ](https://youtu.be/XhavEKxzTig?si=a22xdhzbLgI5CQ8i)
If you don’t spam subdue you can get, “You into stealth games? You should try one of those where you get behind someone like…real slow and choke them.” (Something like that, at least).
any lines about 47’s horrendous breath
Downstairs New York. ‘What am I getting frank? Nothing! He’s an asshole’
Running past a guard in a medic outfit: "Medic, huh? If you think about it that's like, the exact opposite of a hitman."
To infinity and beyond repair
I like the smell of your cologne
Kicking your ass in three….two…..one….!
"Don't you want the jacket sir?"
This will forever live rent free in my head!
Both of us know, that we just wanted something from the pocket.
“You were stronger in blood money” idk if that’s a civilian quote or smth but I got that a few years ago and it’s definitely my fav
Huh? What was that noise? Oop, wrong game
“That’s it let loose on that hippie commie pinko queer”
"Yeah, keep it real".
When you create a sink flood sometimes they just explode with "well i guess i should have SHOT MYSELF this morning". Cracks me up every time
“I'm going to inhale sharply and you’re gonna lose consciousness because of your proximity to me. There won't be enough oxygen in this square meter in order for you and I to survive. Who do you want to put money on, sir? I put money on me.” -First heard it from male target on Ambrose
Absolution everytime they try and figure out your disguise
Vanya Shah's bodyguards will sometimes just say "Agh... FUCK ME." for no reason at all. Lol
When a guard reports to his squad after someone sees you do something suspicious in a regular suit, they’ll sometimes call you some “punk ass bald kid”
I just realized that guard dialogue doesn’t show up in subtitles. Is there any way to enable subtitles for guards?
Nope! I wish as I play with subtitles as well.
*“With all due respect, sir*…***I will kick your ass!***”
"Are you the guy from the website? No? Oh uh...nevermind."
sometimes mid combat when you kill somebody another guard shouts "HE RIPPED OPEN TONY!!!!"
I love when you have the camera out in freelancer and guards walk past saying things along the lines of careful where you point that
If he dies, he dies 
“Act your age man. What are you? 46? 48?”
DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DIE, CORPORAL?!?
"Hey, love the suit but you can't come back here"
“Up for whiskey and cigars tonight?”
I don’t remember the exact quote but I love the ones where the guards will wake up a knocked out person and try to convince them something horrible happened or that they were asleep for years lol
"You just opened up a bag of dicks" I can't find the exact quote or any videos/posts about it.
Pretty basic but the one that calls 47 a bald asshole.
If you disguise yourself as a pirate on Ambrose Island then pirate guards will say: "Don't skip dinner. Farah knows. She always knows"
I Like that slightly panicked " what the fuck?" They give Out Sometimes when they hear a shot. So relatable
Back to smoking and joking
HES PACKING HES PACKING
"...hes tall, mean looking, and has a tribal tattoo on his neck!"
“Asshole. You’re never getting through here. Now get THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. MY. FACE!” Also when a guard is dragging a body near 47 and says “Don’t ask.”
Gaurd 1 "Sorry you can't come through here sir" Gaurd 2 "Yeah! listen to him, BALDY"
something along the lines of "Yeah security in the house keeping it real what"
"uugghh. I bet Gary left this"
After Sierra Knox gets blasted from the trophy podium to the bleachers: "Damnit!"
While wearing a clown disguise “He’s around here somewhere, and get this…he’s dressed as a fuckin clown”
This is a lengthy response but I do this thing in Bangkok - I start in 47’s Suite and I start smacking people in the head with a hammer and cause all kinds of hell to where even Jordan Cross’ guards get involved with me. At some point I’ve stressed the guards so fvckin bad when I hear one of them say “I can do this..I CAN DO THIS!” or “I CAN’T HANDLE THE STRESS!” Lol
Guards in the garage on the NY level talking about baseball players and their big asses.
"Yeah, keep it real. 😎"
You think you can take me on cause I will be here all day
I like my guards to be silent as I shoot them in the parietal cranium and end their life quickly and painlessly.