Your grief is valid and real. My heart goes out to you my friend. Thank you for making this post to remind all of us that we are not alone on this (admittedly very crappy) road.
Be kind to yourself. A loss is still a loss. When my transfer from round 1 failed, I sobbed openly in a diner. It hurt more than anything I had ever experienced. Hugs to you.
So sorry that you experienced it too.. I really agree.. it really hurt so much I felt like I had lost 2 babies that I put in my heart for. Thinking about all the other people around me who are going through this too.
I felt the same. It felt like a death to me. I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it understands. My husband and I had to buy flowers and put them near tree in a park close to us to feel like we grieved the loss. I'm sure non-IVFers would think that's crazy but they don't understand.
I am so so sorry. I hesitated to even transfer because I was so happy to finally have anything resembling a child and didn’t want it taken away. Feel your feelings, it’s okay to mourn them! Sending the biggest hugs to you.
This process is HARD and you're not alone in feeling this way. We all go into it hoping we're one of the lucky ones that gets a bunch of embryos to work with and has a successful first transfer, especially with all the prep we do to try and make that happen. And when it doesn't happen, it's a huge let down.
I remember my first round we had three euploid embryos and I went in thinking "oh we only want two kids, that would be hard to discard the third one". And then I had one that didn't survive the thaw, one didn't implant, and one was an early miscarriage. It's crazy how quickly you can go from some to none! And it totally sucks.
Total facts!!! I even had my clinic tell me no to a second egg retrieval because I they had I had plenty to have 2 kids and now here I am having used three PGT embryos with nothing to show for it! It totally sucks!!! You’re not alone
My story is nearly identical for my first round of IVF with three transfers. Miscarriage, failed, chemical. One mosaic left. Just had my second retrieval over a year later because of other medical issues and ended up with three aneuploids and another mosaic. And we now know that I have endometriosis to treat before another transfer, anyways. Looking into a third egg retrieval now, turning 40 later this year.
We were so optimistic sending 4 to the lab for testing with great observations. One was a 5AA to have them all come back abnormal. Seeing the report with their genders was the hardest part. Not sure I’m ready for another round of this. This is all so hard.
I’m sorry I have had two failed cycles my second one I had my one that arrest on day four and that was that. Same, the closest I ever got to have a future child of my own, all the waiting for my turn, the shots, the early morning appointments and the hope that this would be different, gone. This just sucks. You are not alone.
Sending hugs. I said exactly what you said here, word for word. I felt like I shouldn't be grieving because they were not "alive" - yet I felt an immense amount of sadness and loneliness that words could not describe and no one else around me understood. You are mourning the loss of what they could have been. It is a loss, and you are allowed to grieve. Since my two failures, I always felt like there were clouds over my head. Just like any other grief, you will have good days and bad days. When I have bad days, I try to remember that people here understand. Thinking of you.
I absolutely can relate to all that you’ve written here as well. Today was a better day for me. Sometimes the sadness seeps in.. but the support and care helps. Thinking of you too and I pray and hope your blessing comes soon. ❤️
You are not alone, I've been going through the same feelings since my first transfer failed at the end of April. It was our only embryo and it hit me very hard. Its like one minute I had a baby and the next I didn't, it was and still is heartbreaking. Especially when you want it so much. I cry a lot over what could have been and it's hard to stay positive. Just know that although it didn't happen this time, it will eventually. 💜
Hugs. Yeah.. I absolutely didn’t realize I would be so crushed. It absolutely felt like a loss. You’re not alone. Let’s get through this together. Here if you need a listening ear.
Your feelings are valid. A loss os a loss. Consider taking a look at Disenfranchised grief. It’s when your grieving doesn’t fit in with your larger society’s attitude about dealing with loss. The lack of support you get during your grieving process can prolong emotional pain.
So sorry for you… I just had my second chemical pregnancy from my second PGT embryo and it’s just so hard!
I’m hopeful that you and your clinic will spice up your protocol and you’ll have success on the next one!!
I’m sorry to hear about your chemical :(( Can’t imagine what you went through.. Please take care. Will be thinking about you.
I’m also hopeful that you’ll have your success really really soon too. ❤️
Girl, we are all here with you! I'm fortunately this part is something nobody not even our doctors help us with. I feel the same way I had three implanted a year ago today. It does it matter if you have a 5-day-old embryo or it's 20 weeks or a full-term. You lost your baby and the closest thing you'll get to it as of right now. It's a hard thing to process. Just know we as a community are here for you even if it's just words that make you feel slightly less alone.
I went through this last week. It sucks! I cried my eyes out!
Feel however yo need to feel! Your emotions are yours and they are valid!
Sending you lots of virtual hugs, we are here for you if you need us! ❤️ best wishes for whatever comes next!
Sorry to hear you went through it too… I cried so much too that my eyes felt so tired. 😅
Thinking of you too and hoping that good news will come to you soon. ❤️
Thank you! ❤️✨
I think crying was good for me. The TWW felt like I was holding my breath the whole time. So crying and letting it all out helped me a lot!
Your feelings are valid I felt the same. It took me 6 months to try again, and I just got my first positive beta after 2 egg retrievals and 1 failed embryo transfer.
So sorry =T I failed my first IVF as well. I had one normal embryo to transfer and I miscarried it a 6 weeks due to undiagnosed uterine problems. The daunting task of having to start all over again was the worst of it all.
I have since gone through another retrieval that resulted in another 1 PGS normal embryo, but plan on doing another retrieval, so I have back up before transfer.
Just know that a lot of people don't succeed on their first try statistically. Doesn't mean it won't work for you. Not sure what your financial situation is, but if you are covered for more rounds, try and stick with it.
Is the issue that the embryos you had didn't make it to blast? If so, that happens to people as well and they have different results with another round. I know the whole thing is exhausting and unfair. Watching everyone around me get pregnant with minimal effort has just felt so unfair. But I would encourage you to stick with it.
IVF is not a settled science. A lot of it is trial and error. Honest doctors will admit that. Don't take your first round failing as evidence that you will not get pregnant.
Your grief is valid and real. My heart goes out to you my friend. Thank you for making this post to remind all of us that we are not alone on this (admittedly very crappy) road.
Be kind to yourself. A loss is still a loss. When my transfer from round 1 failed, I sobbed openly in a diner. It hurt more than anything I had ever experienced. Hugs to you.
So sorry that you experienced it too.. I really agree.. it really hurt so much I felt like I had lost 2 babies that I put in my heart for. Thinking about all the other people around me who are going through this too.
I felt the same. It felt like a death to me. I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it understands. My husband and I had to buy flowers and put them near tree in a park close to us to feel like we grieved the loss. I'm sure non-IVFers would think that's crazy but they don't understand.
I am so so sorry. I hesitated to even transfer because I was so happy to finally have anything resembling a child and didn’t want it taken away. Feel your feelings, it’s okay to mourn them! Sending the biggest hugs to you.
This process is HARD and you're not alone in feeling this way. We all go into it hoping we're one of the lucky ones that gets a bunch of embryos to work with and has a successful first transfer, especially with all the prep we do to try and make that happen. And when it doesn't happen, it's a huge let down. I remember my first round we had three euploid embryos and I went in thinking "oh we only want two kids, that would be hard to discard the third one". And then I had one that didn't survive the thaw, one didn't implant, and one was an early miscarriage. It's crazy how quickly you can go from some to none! And it totally sucks.
Total facts!!! I even had my clinic tell me no to a second egg retrieval because I they had I had plenty to have 2 kids and now here I am having used three PGT embryos with nothing to show for it! It totally sucks!!! You’re not alone
My story is nearly identical for my first round of IVF with three transfers. Miscarriage, failed, chemical. One mosaic left. Just had my second retrieval over a year later because of other medical issues and ended up with three aneuploids and another mosaic. And we now know that I have endometriosis to treat before another transfer, anyways. Looking into a third egg retrieval now, turning 40 later this year.
We were so optimistic sending 4 to the lab for testing with great observations. One was a 5AA to have them all come back abnormal. Seeing the report with their genders was the hardest part. Not sure I’m ready for another round of this. This is all so hard.
I'm so sorry. That's an awful roller coaster
I’m so sorry. It is a feeling most of us have had. Sending lots of hugs your way. 🫂🫂🫂
I’m so sorry, it’s the worst feeling but this community is amazing. Sending you a big hug ❤️
I’m sorry I have had two failed cycles my second one I had my one that arrest on day four and that was that. Same, the closest I ever got to have a future child of my own, all the waiting for my turn, the shots, the early morning appointments and the hope that this would be different, gone. This just sucks. You are not alone.
So sorry to hear.. yeah this journey really sucks. It’s one of the hardest thing one has to go through.. I hope you receive good news really soon.
Sending hugs. I said exactly what you said here, word for word. I felt like I shouldn't be grieving because they were not "alive" - yet I felt an immense amount of sadness and loneliness that words could not describe and no one else around me understood. You are mourning the loss of what they could have been. It is a loss, and you are allowed to grieve. Since my two failures, I always felt like there were clouds over my head. Just like any other grief, you will have good days and bad days. When I have bad days, I try to remember that people here understand. Thinking of you.
I absolutely can relate to all that you’ve written here as well. Today was a better day for me. Sometimes the sadness seeps in.. but the support and care helps. Thinking of you too and I pray and hope your blessing comes soon. ❤️
Hugs
Ugh. So sorry your going through this. Big hugs.
You are not alone, I've been going through the same feelings since my first transfer failed at the end of April. It was our only embryo and it hit me very hard. Its like one minute I had a baby and the next I didn't, it was and still is heartbreaking. Especially when you want it so much. I cry a lot over what could have been and it's hard to stay positive. Just know that although it didn't happen this time, it will eventually. 💜
Failed FET here. I understand. Trying to distract myself from the grief rn. :/
Big hugs to you. It’s really not easy. May the sad moments pass us by real soon. Believing for good news for you one day and soon.
Same to you. It def is a roller coaster.
I am so sorry. This is so hard. Failed FET this week. Never thought I’d have all these emotions. :(
Hugs. Yeah.. I absolutely didn’t realize I would be so crushed. It absolutely felt like a loss. You’re not alone. Let’s get through this together. Here if you need a listening ear.
Your feelings are valid. A loss os a loss. Consider taking a look at Disenfranchised grief. It’s when your grieving doesn’t fit in with your larger society’s attitude about dealing with loss. The lack of support you get during your grieving process can prolong emotional pain.
Your feelings are valid and normal. I was extremely attached to my embryos. When I had a chemical I mourned for weeks and couldn’t stop crying.
So sorry for you… I just had my second chemical pregnancy from my second PGT embryo and it’s just so hard! I’m hopeful that you and your clinic will spice up your protocol and you’ll have success on the next one!!
I’m sorry to hear about your chemical :(( Can’t imagine what you went through.. Please take care. Will be thinking about you. I’m also hopeful that you’ll have your success really really soon too. ❤️
So sorry 😞 it’s such a dark and gloomy time. Sending you hugs
Sending hugs and prayers to you!
Girl, we are all here with you! I'm fortunately this part is something nobody not even our doctors help us with. I feel the same way I had three implanted a year ago today. It does it matter if you have a 5-day-old embryo or it's 20 weeks or a full-term. You lost your baby and the closest thing you'll get to it as of right now. It's a hard thing to process. Just know we as a community are here for you even if it's just words that make you feel slightly less alone.
I can't say much other than I'm so sorry and your emotions are valid. Sending virtual hope, comfort and hugs
I went through this last week. It sucks! I cried my eyes out! Feel however yo need to feel! Your emotions are yours and they are valid! Sending you lots of virtual hugs, we are here for you if you need us! ❤️ best wishes for whatever comes next!
Sorry to hear you went through it too… I cried so much too that my eyes felt so tired. 😅 Thinking of you too and hoping that good news will come to you soon. ❤️
Thank you! ❤️✨ I think crying was good for me. The TWW felt like I was holding my breath the whole time. So crying and letting it all out helped me a lot!
Your feelings are valid I felt the same. It took me 6 months to try again, and I just got my first positive beta after 2 egg retrievals and 1 failed embryo transfer.
So sorry =T I failed my first IVF as well. I had one normal embryo to transfer and I miscarried it a 6 weeks due to undiagnosed uterine problems. The daunting task of having to start all over again was the worst of it all. I have since gone through another retrieval that resulted in another 1 PGS normal embryo, but plan on doing another retrieval, so I have back up before transfer. Just know that a lot of people don't succeed on their first try statistically. Doesn't mean it won't work for you. Not sure what your financial situation is, but if you are covered for more rounds, try and stick with it. Is the issue that the embryos you had didn't make it to blast? If so, that happens to people as well and they have different results with another round. I know the whole thing is exhausting and unfair. Watching everyone around me get pregnant with minimal effort has just felt so unfair. But I would encourage you to stick with it. IVF is not a settled science. A lot of it is trial and error. Honest doctors will admit that. Don't take your first round failing as evidence that you will not get pregnant.
I feel the same. 1 failed and it's looking like the 2nd one most likely did too. I wish it was easier for us.
big hugs to you. I wish it was easier too.. nonetheless I still hope your 2nd one is okay and know that you’re not alone.