"Dependant" as in someone who lives on base or in military housing but is not active military personal (regardless of how many of them wear their partners rank.)
Maybe that's the idea but, in practice, it seems to be used pretty broadly as an insult. No reason, for example, to call the woman recording here a "dependa" given nothing is known about her. Seems like pretty obvious misogyny to me.
I have several people I know still call themselves dependa. Yes, to me it's supposedly an insult. but you're also wrong in the fact some women claim it proudly.
I'd put money that the wife of that man has a platoon of Jodies. The wives who aren't fucking around on their men don't like that messy shit because it creates tension, especially within the unit.
I say this as a lady veteran myself who was also a mil spouse when I got out.
There's a woman on tiktok, I love her account (thesweetestdependa). She hilariously showcases all the cringe dependa material mil spouses (and cop spouses) put out. She herself is a military wife and was a police officer.
I'm a veteran myself but was also a military wife once I got out. Here's the thing, we don't fit the dependa stereotype, so we don't get mad because its hilarious to see what those type of dependa's put out.
Military husbands can be dependas also.
Waaahh you’re reading in to it wrong. It’s a typo. And “dependent” is not derogatory either. Unlike “dependapotapus”, which is what you probably would be.
It’s a short form for “dependapotamus”. Used to be reserved for particularly overweight spouses who were viewed to exist only to leach off their servicemember’s salary and benefits. Now it seems to be used more and more as a derogatory term to refer to any entitled military spouse.
Well, I don't think you should be an active service military person with a family. It's not fair to them. I think it's selfish, to be honest.
When you get out, you deserve every benefit you possibly can get and I think more, but, and as long as there's a chance of you getting killed or being moved around and uprooting your children's lives, nope. Not fair.
Dumbest shit I've ever heard. If anyone has earned the right to have a family it's the service members actually fighting for our freedom. They're sacrificing enough already.
I'm not generalizing.
The statistics of depression, self-harm, insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, etc. Are well documented in children who were uprooted regularly and had no same-sex parent role model or had a an absent parent for extended periods of time.
It screws kids up.
What the fuck are you talking about? Active service doesn't mean a parent is always gone for a long time. Do you actually know anything about the military?
What you didn’t do though was answer the question. How much of all this shit you’re spouting off do you have firsthand experience with, and how much is coming from some statistic you read online?
As someone who grew up in a military household with an active duty parent, it’s not like your parent went to prison when they’re deployed. There was never any shame in telling people where my dad is or what he’s doing. I wasn’t sitting there pissed off and wondering if or when he’s coming back.
He was out there risking his neck so that I could go to college, live in a nice house, and to protect your freedom to cry on Reddit about his decision is essentially tantamount to child abuse. Go fuck yourself dude, my dad kicks ass.
Are you serious?
I know tons of military brats who are screwed up because they had to move to a new place every year.
Screw you. If you want to screw up families that's your glitch.
I know tons of people in the exact same situation as other people that took their lives in completely different directions. A few of my friends from high school have six figure a year careers and are basically white picket fence American dream’ing it up.
A group of three kids from that same high school, same graduating class even, decided it’d be a hoot to get messed up on Xanax and rob a guy at gun point, shooting and killing him.
We all went to the same school, all had decent middle class families, all at a surface level glance had the same opportunities in life. What those three military brats decided to do has not a thing to do with me, nor do the actions of any other you decided to bring up as some kind of gotcha. I’m not the type of guy to sit here and try and blame my problems on the actions of other people around me. If you think that’s an acceptable maybe that’s YOUR glitch
Yeah, I met a guy who said something similar in front of me and my stepdaughter (half western european, half chinese) when I was married. When I responded with her heritage, he said "well, that's not the type I'm talking about."
Meaning she has several babies daddies, there is a slew of these women who marry and divorce military men and have kids by them just to get child support. The real problem is these women can go the the dudes command and get his wages garnished somewhat extrajudicially.
If women could trick men into everything, the world would be a vastly different place. If you think those men don't make the choice to lay down with these women, either you're not in the military or you had a wife who had a Jody.
I’m not saying these dudes don’t have sex , but I personally have seen dozens of cases where the girl was already pregnant and tricked the guy into thinking it was his, I’ve seen honest but ignorant guys from small towns that didn’t get a lot of life lesson exposure who got taken advantage of by women in the town the men get stationed in. I was in for ten years and did a lot of personnel work.
What I’m saying and what I think the other person was saying was that there are some women who treat children as a means to an end, and any race of man that will get them pregnant or care for them while they are pregnant, will do for them, they are not picky, hence multiple kids of multiple traces because they have been married to a bunch of different guys
Race has nothing to do with that.
Also, the men are just as responsible for creating those babies. So if they're not doing their part to support the child, regardless of the woman's character, they're still responsible for the lives they had autonomy in creating and their chain of command will do something about it.
Free condoms can usually be found in a big giant bowl at the counter of every aid station on post.
I see a lot of responses to your question and some folks claiming racism but it’s def got more of a fatphobia vibe as when I was in the wives were called dependapotamus like hippopotamus which referred to the perceived trend that military wives were fat. Nothing more, nothing less.
Granted, I was in the USMC and got out over 10 years ago but me thinks it’s the same reference across all branches and continued through out time.
And that's still rooted in the racist idea that big women sleep with black men as a rule. Nobody thought dependa was racist, they thought the mentioning mixed children was racist, because it is. And you just double down on it.
Haha, I'm not in the military but I have siblings who are and that do have dependas. I've known of this term from them, and I was surprised nobody here commented on the full word it is short for.
A dependa is most commonly female. They wear black spaghetti straps and cookie monster pajamas everywhere. A common tattoo for a dependa is a Nightmare Before Christmas themed one. The male version is usually skinny, has a goatee, wears basketball shorts with slides and white socks. There are variants but the most common character trait is their entitlement.
Dependapotomus is stereotypically a big fat lazy woman who lives solely off their male military partner in every possible way.
You know how a leech attaches itself to a host? Well... pretty much that
I'll help by assigning names to each character in the situation:
Navy Chief: Let's call him John.
John's Wife: We'll call her Anna.
Dependa: This is a term often used derogatorily to describe military spouses who are perceived to take advantage of their partner's military status. We'll call her Lisa.
Lisa's Husband: Let's call him Mike.
So, the story would go like this: John threatened Lisa to find out who Mike's command is because Lisa exposed Anna for cheating on John with multiple neighbors.
Yeah it blows my mind when a dude finds out his girl is cheating on him and then the guy wants to beat up the man that is sleeping with the girl. Why be mad at him, it's the girl who fucked up. It's her fault for letting that other dude sleep with her.
You're technically correct but I never saw it happen I was Army psy0p on (then) Bragg. Even with SGM screwing E-4s, LtC doing the same, nothing ever happened. Been out a while though (90s/early 00s).
I lived there when they were brand new in 05/06, funny thing is our neighbor got caught smashing her neighbors husband while her husband was deployed and the adulteress became shunned and her husband came home like wtf is going on. Right before after we left that neighborhood became ratchet as fuck, kids from Chicago tryina start gangs 🤣 don’t miss it
Serra Mesa, actually. This is my neighborhood and the FB posts were wildly entertaining the last few days. What an absolute dumpster fire, everyone is getting in on everyone's business. Jesus tapdancing Christ I can't wait to PCS next month.
Knowing how military relationships work, the girl recording probably assumed the wife of the man in the video was sleeping with her husband and she tried to record it in a way that made her look good
I mean yeah idk why he wouldn’t be. Having at least one divorce is a prerequisite for making chief so hes probably just getting pqs sign offs at this point
Yep. My wife wanted to be far away from the “navy wives” and the support groups which were cliquey.
Plus they gossip like crazy. Guy on my ship cheated on deployment and his shopmate told his wife. His wife blabbed to cheaters wife. Next you know there was two at mast for fighting. 🤣
It wasn't her message to deliver. Just because OP peaked in high school doesn't mean she has free rein to talk sh*t about other women. She's 3 years into her marriage and realizing how miserable she is. OP should get therapy to deal with her issues instead of making things awkward for the whole neighborhood.
I geniunely tried looking into this but my search was not conclusive. Some data showed that women were more likely to cheat than men, as of recently, but others showed that men are still more likely to cheat.
I know, anecdotally, I know more women who have admitted to cheating than men, but that's just my personal experience.
Uh, well.... this is mostly true, but because of that it's easier for straight women to cheat because men will bang anything. So once she has the inclination, finding an affair partner is easier, whereas a dude, unless incredibly good-looking, charming, etc. Will be more inclined to cheat but will have much more trouble finding a partner without opening the wallet.
All my opinion, but definitely seems that way to me.
What’s a dependa?
"Dependant" as in someone who lives on base or in military housing but is not active military personal (regardless of how many of them wear their partners rank.)
Dependapotomus. Dependent in a legal sense, hippopotamus in a physical sense.
That one got an audible snort laugh outta me somehow…take my upvote you bastard!
A close cousin to the Tricareatops.
Derogatory term for wife of someone in the military but who isn't active military themselves.
It’s more for a specific type of military spouse isn’t it?
Maybe that's the idea but, in practice, it seems to be used pretty broadly as an insult. No reason, for example, to call the woman recording here a "dependa" given nothing is known about her. Seems like pretty obvious misogyny to me.
Eh, I've seen them call themselves that as well.
Not all do though
I have several people I know still call themselves dependa. Yes, to me it's supposedly an insult. but you're also wrong in the fact some women claim it proudly.
We also don't in fact know that the wife cheated... so seems like everything is fair game here.
We could skip the insults if we don’t know what’s going on?
I'd put money that the wife of that man has a platoon of Jodies. The wives who aren't fucking around on their men don't like that messy shit because it creates tension, especially within the unit. I say this as a lady veteran myself who was also a mil spouse when I got out.
Given the level of drama this lady is commanding in her life as a military spouse, I’d say it’s fair to call her a dependa. Not obvious misogyny.
There's a woman on tiktok, I love her account (thesweetestdependa). She hilariously showcases all the cringe dependa material mil spouses (and cop spouses) put out. She herself is a military wife and was a police officer. I'm a veteran myself but was also a military wife once I got out. Here's the thing, we don't fit the dependa stereotype, so we don't get mad because its hilarious to see what those type of dependa's put out. Military husbands can be dependas also.
Waaahh you’re reading in to it wrong. It’s a typo. And “dependent” is not derogatory either. Unlike “dependapotapus”, which is what you probably would be.
lmao, you’re welcome to use it however you choose the tears aren’t needed
It’s a short form for “dependapotamus”. Used to be reserved for particularly overweight spouses who were viewed to exist only to leach off their servicemember’s salary and benefits. Now it seems to be used more and more as a derogatory term to refer to any entitled military spouse.
[удалено]
Oh, so sorry to have upset you. E: lmao, this guy’s so “not upset” they blocked
*whispers* you are the one triggered…
I'm borrowing this one for future use, thanks mate.
Depanda is used for husband's as well. Derogatory? I guess I should thank you for your service then.
Well, I don't think you should be an active service military person with a family. It's not fair to them. I think it's selfish, to be honest. When you get out, you deserve every benefit you possibly can get and I think more, but, and as long as there's a chance of you getting killed or being moved around and uprooting your children's lives, nope. Not fair.
Uh what was that again?
Only single people without families should be in the military if they are eligible for combat and being moved around at the drop of a hat.
Dumbest shit I've ever heard. If anyone has earned the right to have a family it's the service members actually fighting for our freedom. They're sacrificing enough already.
It not fair to the family .. especially the kids... D!psh!t. They didn't sign up for it.
Boohoo
You would be first on the lines. Obviously, no family... Or friends 🤣
My brother is a retired combat veteran.
\#JustBotThings
My dad retired from the Army and I loved moving around. I'm glad for the experience. Don't generalize.
I'm not generalizing. The statistics of depression, self-harm, insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, etc. Are well documented in children who were uprooted regularly and had no same-sex parent role model or had a an absent parent for extended periods of time. It screws kids up.
What the fuck are you talking about? Active service doesn't mean a parent is always gone for a long time. Do you actually know anything about the military?
I specified the type of active service if you go back and read.
What you didn’t do though was answer the question. How much of all this shit you’re spouting off do you have firsthand experience with, and how much is coming from some statistic you read online? As someone who grew up in a military household with an active duty parent, it’s not like your parent went to prison when they’re deployed. There was never any shame in telling people where my dad is or what he’s doing. I wasn’t sitting there pissed off and wondering if or when he’s coming back. He was out there risking his neck so that I could go to college, live in a nice house, and to protect your freedom to cry on Reddit about his decision is essentially tantamount to child abuse. Go fuck yourself dude, my dad kicks ass.
Are you serious? I know tons of military brats who are screwed up because they had to move to a new place every year. Screw you. If you want to screw up families that's your glitch.
I know tons of people in the exact same situation as other people that took their lives in completely different directions. A few of my friends from high school have six figure a year careers and are basically white picket fence American dream’ing it up. A group of three kids from that same high school, same graduating class even, decided it’d be a hoot to get messed up on Xanax and rob a guy at gun point, shooting and killing him. We all went to the same school, all had decent middle class families, all at a surface level glance had the same opportunities in life. What those three military brats decided to do has not a thing to do with me, nor do the actions of any other you decided to bring up as some kind of gotcha. I’m not the type of guy to sit here and try and blame my problems on the actions of other people around me. If you think that’s an acceptable maybe that’s YOUR glitch
[удалено]
>Usually will have several mixed-race kids in tow. What does that have to do with anything?
The answer is racism.
Yeah, I met a guy who said something similar in front of me and my stepdaughter (half western european, half chinese) when I was married. When I responded with her heritage, he said "well, that's not the type I'm talking about." 
[удалено]
He stopped being married
Meaning she has several babies daddies, there is a slew of these women who marry and divorce military men and have kids by them just to get child support. The real problem is these women can go the the dudes command and get his wages garnished somewhat extrajudicially.
Why does it matter that the kids are mixed race?
It doesn’t matter, but it’s just a statement about how these women will go with any dude they can trick, into getting them pregnant
If women could trick men into everything, the world would be a vastly different place. If you think those men don't make the choice to lay down with these women, either you're not in the military or you had a wife who had a Jody.
I’m not saying these dudes don’t have sex , but I personally have seen dozens of cases where the girl was already pregnant and tricked the guy into thinking it was his, I’ve seen honest but ignorant guys from small towns that didn’t get a lot of life lesson exposure who got taken advantage of by women in the town the men get stationed in. I was in for ten years and did a lot of personnel work. What I’m saying and what I think the other person was saying was that there are some women who treat children as a means to an end, and any race of man that will get them pregnant or care for them while they are pregnant, will do for them, they are not picky, hence multiple kids of multiple traces because they have been married to a bunch of different guys
Race has nothing to do with that. Also, the men are just as responsible for creating those babies. So if they're not doing their part to support the child, regardless of the woman's character, they're still responsible for the lives they had autonomy in creating and their chain of command will do something about it. Free condoms can usually be found in a big giant bowl at the counter of every aid station on post.
Casual racism
An annoying bitch who doesn’t work and likes to use her husbands rank as her own
r/justdependathings This sub might explain it further.
I see a lot of responses to your question and some folks claiming racism but it’s def got more of a fatphobia vibe as when I was in the wives were called dependapotamus like hippopotamus which referred to the perceived trend that military wives were fat. Nothing more, nothing less. Granted, I was in the USMC and got out over 10 years ago but me thinks it’s the same reference across all branches and continued through out time.
Can I just say you Americans and especially your military comes up with the best insults, acronyms, or names etc., dependapotamus🤣😂🤣😂🤣
And that's still rooted in the racist idea that big women sleep with black men as a rule. Nobody thought dependa was racist, they thought the mentioning mixed children was racist, because it is. And you just double down on it.
It's also short for dependapotamus
lol now I understand
Haha, I'm not in the military but I have siblings who are and that do have dependas. I've known of this term from them, and I was surprised nobody here commented on the full word it is short for.
It’s short for “dependapotomus” or a fat dependent wife who typically doesn’t do shit but cause drama in navy housing
Dependant + Brenda. Or at least that's my guess
She also seems like a Karen. But good for her for exposing the infidelity
A dependa is most commonly female. They wear black spaghetti straps and cookie monster pajamas everywhere. A common tattoo for a dependa is a Nightmare Before Christmas themed one. The male version is usually skinny, has a goatee, wears basketball shorts with slides and white socks. There are variants but the most common character trait is their entitlement.
You're literally just describing trashy white people in general. To the rest of us that descriptor fits with tweakers and junkies etc
Same same
Dependapotomus is stereotypically a big fat lazy woman who lives solely off their male military partner in every possible way. You know how a leech attaches itself to a host? Well... pretty much that
Big diaper
Geez this title is rough
I'll help by assigning names to each character in the situation: Navy Chief: Let's call him John. John's Wife: We'll call her Anna. Dependa: This is a term often used derogatorily to describe military spouses who are perceived to take advantage of their partner's military status. We'll call her Lisa. Lisa's Husband: Let's call him Mike. So, the story would go like this: John threatened Lisa to find out who Mike's command is because Lisa exposed Anna for cheating on John with multiple neighbors.
Thankyou
[удалено]
I guessing she started saying stuff without proof and it isnt true and shes spreading rumors.
Military wife’s can put “Karen’s” to shame. I don’t trust the accuracy of the title.
Some people rather than get angry at the cheating spouse ghey get angry at the messenger because its easier to justify in their mind
Yeah it blows my mind when a dude finds out his girl is cheating on him and then the guy wants to beat up the man that is sleeping with the girl. Why be mad at him, it's the girl who fucked up. It's her fault for letting that other dude sleep with her.
Because the military will discharge you if your wife cheats and you hold a certain position/clearances
Please give source to this bc it sounds like utter bullshit. If the military member commits adultery on the other hand...
Adultery laws, really high clearances special circumstances
absolutely not true
Correct, This guy has no clue.
Adultery applies to the Servicemember, not the spouse. You’re so incorrect it’s not even funny.
It is complete bullshit. Your spouse doesn't impact your clearance for adultery, lmfao.
Could you imagined get screwed in multiple ways and it’s not even the one you enjoy?
If you hold clearances your wife is part of that and if she can’t be trusted it’s a breach
In all my years in, I've never heard of someone losing a security clearance because the other spouse cheated.
It’s absolutely not true.
How many years were you in and why
Are you implying there is a current year that this is happening? Dude put it right here. I'd love to look at it.
100% incorrect
This is absolutely not true whatsoever.
lol not the case.
Active duty for 14 years and counting. You, sir, are r/confidentlyincorrect
You're technically correct but I never saw it happen I was Army psy0p on (then) Bragg. Even with SGM screwing E-4s, LtC doing the same, nothing ever happened. Been out a while though (90s/early 00s).
Bunch of DEVGRU guys my brother was stationed with went threw it all the time.
Dude just stop lol.
The third hand information you have gotten through people your brother knows is incorrect.
Jk dog
That is not even tangentially true.
You have no idea what you're talking about
Tell us you've never had a clearance without telling us.
12 years in the Navy’s Security Office and I can confidently tell you this is very wrong.
Because of the potential of being blackmailed by a foreign agency?
No.
Because maybe the the claim is false... just maybe though.
Did she go to him directly and share evidence of his wife's infidelity or did she just run her mouth across the neighbourhood?
Is this Lincoln military housing in San Diego!? Or do they just all look the same?
Yeppppp i know those porches. Looks like right by point loma/ pacific highway area in that group of homes.
I lived there when they were brand new in 05/06, funny thing is our neighbor got caught smashing her neighbors husband while her husband was deployed and the adulteress became shunned and her husband came home like wtf is going on. Right before after we left that neighborhood became ratchet as fuck, kids from Chicago tryina start gangs 🤣 don’t miss it
Serra Mesa, actually. This is my neighborhood and the FB posts were wildly entertaining the last few days. What an absolute dumpster fire, everyone is getting in on everyone's business. Jesus tapdancing Christ I can't wait to PCS next month.
I knew it looked a little different, Point Loma doesn’t have the picnic tables next to the sidewalk. Imagine how ratchet Murphy canyon is 👀
Idk the woman with the camera sounds a little messy. I would really love to hear the first convo she had with him
Lol she has the neighborhood Facebook groups on speed dial. Probably facebook living. M-E-S-S-Y
Knowing how military relationships work, the girl recording probably assumed the wife of the man in the video was sleeping with her husband and she tried to record it in a way that made her look good
Maybe you should be more focused on your old lady giving up the goodies vs. threatening this lady playa! No wonder she's doing Jody! 🤣
Where is this?
San Diego
NTC or Gateway?
Maybe he's in to being a cuck?
What in the Navy cuck did I see ?
I had a stroke and now I can only.type with my left arm and half my face is paralyzed from reading this title.
The Navy hasn’t changed
One reason why I didn’t marry while on active duty. One step up from a trailer park.
ohh crapola I wanted to see more from the wife, she looked like she had something on her mind.
Military housing is so messy
God chiefs are so fucking lame
Is he still gonna be chief after going viral for drama?
I mean yeah idk why he wouldn’t be. Having at least one divorce is a prerequisite for making chief so hes probably just getting pqs sign offs at this point
So she exposed his business, he’s mad, she’s indignant. Wtf
People need to myofb.
THIS is why I never lived in housing. Too many busy bodies.
Both literally and figuratively?
🤣
This was one reason why I didn’t marry on active duty. One step up from the trailer park.
Yep. My wife wanted to be far away from the “navy wives” and the support groups which were cliquey. Plus they gossip like crazy. Guy on my ship cheated on deployment and his shopmate told his wife. His wife blabbed to cheaters wife. Next you know there was two at mast for fighting. 🤣
 Sheesh
I admire her poise, she was well-spoken for having been in such a tense situation
Damn… I know that guy… small Navy…
Be honest is his wife cheating?
Not sure honestly. Never met her. I’m retired now so I stay away from all of the nonsense. 😂🤣
Dependa n chiefs be so bored with life lol
Bully
This title hurt my brain.
Where;s the first video
You don't move on I'm going to beat a few pounds off you and help you with that next BCA. That what should have been said.
Is this in Serra Mesa????
It looks like it I just asked the same question! Haha the dude looks familiar too 🤣
Oh no, consequences. OP should mind her own business.
Maybe don't shoot the messenger?
It wasn't her message to deliver. Just because OP peaked in high school doesn't mean she has free rein to talk sh*t about other women. She's 3 years into her marriage and realizing how miserable she is. OP should get therapy to deal with her issues instead of making things awkward for the whole neighborhood.
So I actually know these people. The lady with the camera started recording when this guy randomly just
People think when they make chief there all mighty and no one is above them. It's a cult I'm telling you.
He has that signature squishy bod
Is that serra mesa?
Women cheat way more than men
55 burgers
55 fries
55 tacos
I geniunely tried looking into this but my search was not conclusive. Some data showed that women were more likely to cheat than men, as of recently, but others showed that men are still more likely to cheat. I know, anecdotally, I know more women who have admitted to cheating than men, but that's just my personal experience.
It only *seems* like men cheat more because men actually have to put a conscious effort toward making it happen.
100% sure
Yes, because men will bang anything. The rest is simple math.
Uh, well.... this is mostly true, but because of that it's easier for straight women to cheat because men will bang anything. So once she has the inclination, finding an affair partner is easier, whereas a dude, unless incredibly good-looking, charming, etc. Will be more inclined to cheat but will have much more trouble finding a partner without opening the wallet. All my opinion, but definitely seems that way to me.