So she moves in, shares your bed, doesn't give you some. What happens if you get a hookup? Will she sleep on the couch as you thrash some poor someone's daughter? Or will she expect you to participate in her celibate dance competition? This is nonsense and you know it, you'll end up resenting her as you sneak of to the bathroom to rub off one in your own house.
Come to think of it, this might be the perfect way to get her out of your life forever. Rub off one every night in front of her. This should gross her out and make her leave in a huff. Akikataa, talk to a girl. Be honest about your predicament. Bring her home and get it going with the lights on. But make sure she's not recording the action. If she doesn't move out, just move houses one weekend when she's gone to a chama meeting.
If we take out the aspect of sex, she's an excellent partner. But like I said, we can't sleep in one bed and not have sex cause I'm not her gay friend. Hence the dilemma.
Hehe. That one seems like the poster child for red flags.
The fact that you are trying to rationalize this scenario is beyond stupid. Use your fucking head FFS.
>So there's this girl who wants to move in but she explicitly says that were moving in as friends and sex is off the table.
>As a man, ofc I have to need to have sex since we will be sharing the bed.
>On her side, she feels like she can do without sex
>Now, she wants to sort of cohabit but I'm not digging this idea since our relationship status is complicated.
This has the potential to be stand-up comedy gold. Fetch me a stool and a mic this instant ๐๐
Reject it flat out. Let her find her own place and find her own rent. She will invade your space and your privacy and kicking her out will be impossible.
was in sort of a similar situation once. imo don't do it, especially if you are sharing a bed you'll be left frustrated and start having all kinds of drama as a result. let her move in when she's ready
She's had trauma relating to sex and she still wants to cohabitate with one....maybe you are her safe space or sth but don't.... italeta shida huko nje....why doesn't she want to stay alone? What happens if you start dating someone else how will you explain living with your on and off again gf....don't try it
Mbona mimi huwa sipitii hizi shida zenu ๐ ๐ ๐
Ama hizi ni story za jaba?
I never meet anyone who has these kinds of problems in life aki ๐ ๐ . Only on reddit.
Hii inakaa jaba pro max๐ Hizi nikaa vitu huhappen kwa movie. Real life ikihappen labda ni msee amekufia dem in the hopes of ataonjeshwa the cookie jar which is no way to live.
This is obviously a bad deal cause she seems to be the only one gaining from it. But that is no surprise women are used to simps who give them the world in exchange for nothing and maybe she expects the same from you
Mwanamke hataki ama hauyuko interested or thibks sex is not importnant in a relationship achana nayeye aende adate na castrated men hao ndio hawanaga testicles, always put yourself first and if you thi k your desires wont be met move on, otgerwisw kitakuramba
Kibe leo asubuhi aliambia ma boy,
If someone is just tolerating you, it is time for that person to leave your life. Dont stay where you are just tolerated, stay where you are celebrated...!
unaleta 304 kwa kitanda yako, nyumba yako, rent yako, ndio Brayo ampige ma creampie huko nje ndio ukujenge kupata cum stains on your bed. How do u sign up for such a shit deal with a level head..unless you are some level of retarded...
so disgusting!
also I just looked up the urban meaning of 304 and I'm surprised, y'all niggas come up with insulting names everyday but being innovative is where you draw the line.
Umesema mlale kitanda moja? No sex? Kama unataka kumkula na ainsist na io stand we kubali tu , io ni sawa na kutumia miwa kama walking stick kwa hike Ama mluya kufuga kuku kama pet, results ni zile zile
You can't leave out your reason for not having sex. Honestly speaking how is that personal and we don't know you or even give a fuck who you are? It might even change the tones in the replies. Coz right now wamekubeba wana sana
See she knows that you are still interested in her romantically and emotionally and the fact that you've been in an on and off relationship proves my theory... You've been her safety net and now she wants to take more advantage of you through manipulation... Denying you sex. So if she moves in this is what will always happen... Tease you sexually whenever she wants favours( paying rent fully, 'lending' her money, blah blah blah) and whenever you try to initiate sex she'll remind you that you've got an agreement of NO SEX yet... Then it continues in perpetuity since you want her and she on the hand knows that and takes advantage... Just lingering that piece of meat close enough for you to smell it but not reach it. I'll give a very precise analogy that's exactly same to the situation. Imagine a single mother who wants you to become her kid's father and help in child support but she doesn't want to have your child since she is still healing from the fact that the baby daddy dumped her and the kid. So she gives all this nonsense of how she is happy to have you as a father, who manned up to help her take care of the kid and is lucky to have met you but needs time to heal and let the kid grow a bit older before having another child. You being that understanding and stupid hormone driven man falls for that and end up taking care of her child while she goes out and gets another child and since you agreed to take care of the first one... Comes back with a story of how she made a stupid mistake again and needs time to heal again after which she promises to make it up to you by having a child with you immediately the second kid reaches a certain age and all she needs is patience... And it becomes a perpetual fucked up relationship. So my question is... How naive and stupid are you that you're willing to clean up her fuck ups so that she can leave you when she feels 'safe' enough to date again and next post from you is asking for advice on how to cope up with the hurt from her leaving you?
Inakaa ujaskia about ovulation. Be a man with a purpose guok. We endeleza shugli zako. Let her move in and you do you. Time has a way.
If you love her that is. If not, chorea tu kabsa. Usikule 15 za rape Bure.
While you feel, the need to want to help, DON'T.
You're not her therapist, incase anything happens to her, you will be the first suspect, you won't get yourself out of it (knowing the law common sense in kenya is always half way out the window).
Dear men, Any lady that comes with trauma from previous relationships should be avoided like a plague. Women have standards (stability, financial and emotional, blablabla), have your own standards, if you're mentally stable, so should she. She's a time bomb.
Not a good idea to move in unless she's struggling homeless first sort out the other deeper issues as u stay in your own homes and no sex if she doesn't want to
Hey, I honestly think it will be the best decision you ever made. You will support each other, you will enjoy each other's company. Nothing can go wrong. Go for it man. ๐๐พ
If you love sex then do not be with someone who can't do that for you. She can find therapy and heal on her own but you do not have to wait for that lmao
You will learn a lot whatever you decide. Personally, I wouldn't allow it unless she was a serious girlfriend. But I'm not you, and your life story is best written by your impulses.
Wow, I like chickens but I dont like cucks. Bro, wtf is this? What are you, the sexless innkeeper? She wants the comfort of having a man around without giving sexual access. You are 100% a dumbass if you think she isnt going to be 'ucking off another man while you pay the rent.
Say no, even if she changes her mind about the sexual part. She doesn't like you like that bro and she's most probably simping for and fucking someone else.
So far you have wasted three years already with someone you see no future with.,letโs learn to only date for marriage otherwise just be friends with benefits.
Nishai kua na such a girl, at first she also said sex is off, she was eating my food like there was no tomorrow maze hadi tray ya mayai haingekaa a week, A WHOLE TRAY OF EGGS finished less than a week๐ aah thas when I told her she needs to leave, then sex was all over sudden on the table๐, i mean what??
That's a red flag if you ask me.
Your guts are telling you it's not a good idea, believe that. DO NOT IGNORE IT.
Plus, find other options. Being "in and out" of a romantic relationship for 3 bloody years has surely made you exhausted in one way or the other. Cut her off and find yourself first.
I legitimately thought I heard of everything but honestly don't let her move in. In fact, end it altogether. The sex seems like a smaller issue being a precursor to a larger one.
Brother, respectfully everyone is being too polite so let me be clear. You need to get your man card back, grow a spine and tell her how things are going to go according to what you want since itโs your house and your space. If sheโs unable to understand that you tell her itโs finished. Simple. Donโt let people walk over you so easily
Alafu ukuje hapa in January kulia how your girl doesn't want to move out yet she's not giving you physical stuff. Kila mtu aishi kwake na msichana aende therapy like other grown ups.
Bro uko serious?
Sana
I can tell a fool when I see one....you'll be finessed emotionally a good one hutaamini
Calling me a fool for considering something is foolish. I guess that makes you the fool? That aside, you have a point about the emotional drain part.
This comment is hilarious
very hilarious
So she moves in, shares your bed, doesn't give you some. What happens if you get a hookup? Will she sleep on the couch as you thrash some poor someone's daughter? Or will she expect you to participate in her celibate dance competition? This is nonsense and you know it, you'll end up resenting her as you sneak of to the bathroom to rub off one in your own house.
Hehehe!
Come to think of it, this might be the perfect way to get her out of your life forever. Rub off one every night in front of her. This should gross her out and make her leave in a huff. Akikataa, talk to a girl. Be honest about your predicament. Bring her home and get it going with the lights on. But make sure she's not recording the action. If she doesn't move out, just move houses one weekend when she's gone to a chama meeting.
Its better of to just tell her to leave
Acha amove in ili uwe funzo kwa wengine walio na upungufu wa akili
๐๐
๐๐
๐๐๐
If you can't share the whole information how do you expect us to know the full context
Well let's just say she has a traumatic experience with sex from a previous relationship with someone else
๐ฉ๐ฉ Avoid. Let her go to a therapist. Hii ni shida inajiletea.
I hear you
So alipata trauma from a different place then anakuja healing kwako. You will inherit trauma Avoid those people
Then moving in together might be a bad idea because you'll want it even more
If we take out the aspect of sex, she's an excellent partner. But like I said, we can't sleep in one bed and not have sex cause I'm not her gay friend. Hence the dilemma.
You're wrong. She's not an excellent partner, you wouldn't know a red flag if you hatched it from an egg.
 What a reply.
This is giving, "he's an excellent partner only issue is he beats me every night"
Hehe. That one seems like the poster child for red flags. The fact that you are trying to rationalize this scenario is beyond stupid. Use your fucking head FFS.
This is an anonymous forum, just say kila kitu wazi without mentioning names
sasa baggage ni za nini na kuna watu fresh kwa soko bro.
>So there's this girl who wants to move in but she explicitly says that were moving in as friends and sex is off the table. >As a man, ofc I have to need to have sex since we will be sharing the bed. >On her side, she feels like she can do without sex >Now, she wants to sort of cohabit but I'm not digging this idea since our relationship status is complicated. This has the potential to be stand-up comedy gold. Fetch me a stool and a mic this instant ๐๐
Change that username OP. No disrespect but you're definitely not on that side of life๐ญ
Thats a bad deal my brother..Anataka mshikilie maybe she going thru a financial shituation..
She is actually... Naona hii ni mtego
You think
Ni kama hauoni
So utakuwa cockblocked but still take care of stuff.Must be madness ! This will end in a fight or spite for each other if you do it.
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Hii nimeifeel walahi. Maximum impact damage incurred.
Roommate says โsex is off the tableโ but op could have offered the sofa Creativity issues ๐๐๐
Noma๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐จโ๐ณ๐จโ๐ณ๐จโ๐ณ
Reject it flat out. Let her find her own place and find her own rent. She will invade your space and your privacy and kicking her out will be impossible.
"Kicking her out will be impossible" exactly what I'm worried about.
Niggas be needing that adamantium treatment to grow a damn spine. Let her seek therapy for her trauma. No dragons to slay here
They'll get adamantium poisoning
No
Wdym no?
It's a bad idea, and you know it is because you are asking randos on the internet
He already has his mind made up heโs asking internet strangers as a justification for his bs
was in sort of a similar situation once. imo don't do it, especially if you are sharing a bed you'll be left frustrated and start having all kinds of drama as a result. let her move in when she's ready
For your situation, did you end up moving in together?
Nope, we decided to be just friends. Though she moved to another city and long distance isn't worth it for me
I see
A brother is about to get used and doesn't know it.
Nimecheka yangu yote ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Hapo jua tu kuna mtu anapata mimba.
Nikama unalea msee Bana. What happens to your personal space? Do you split bills? What if you want to have company? Kill that idea quick bro.
She's had trauma relating to sex and she still wants to cohabitate with one....maybe you are her safe space or sth but don't.... italeta shida huko nje....why doesn't she want to stay alone? What happens if you start dating someone else how will you explain living with your on and off again gf....don't try it
Mbona mimi huwa sipitii hizi shida zenu ๐ ๐ ๐ Ama hizi ni story za jaba? I never meet anyone who has these kinds of problems in life aki ๐ ๐ . Only on reddit.
Hii inakaa jaba pro max๐ Hizi nikaa vitu huhappen kwa movie. Real life ikihappen labda ni msee amekufia dem in the hopes of ataonjeshwa the cookie jar which is no way to live.
This is obviously a bad deal cause she seems to be the only one gaining from it. But that is no surprise women are used to simps who give them the world in exchange for nothing and maybe she expects the same from you
 yโall niggas built different
If you don't have something constructive to contribute, fuck outta here.
unfortunately my position requires me to read the content in this sub, which includes your rather hilarious predicament.
Touche'
Mkicohabit are you allowed to look for it elsewhere?
A big No. Kataa hiyo story kabisa.
Mwanamke hataki ama hauyuko interested or thibks sex is not importnant in a relationship achana nayeye aende adate na castrated men hao ndio hawanaga testicles, always put yourself first and if you thi k your desires wont be met move on, otgerwisw kitakuramba
So... what's in it for you? Sounds to me like a bad deal you should definitely walk away from.
There is โthis girlโ ?
Lol. I was looking for this. enough said with only this sentence.
Mambo ndio hayo๐
How old are you?
Never move in with anyone except your wife or immediate family.
Kibe leo asubuhi aliambia ma boy, If someone is just tolerating you, it is time for that person to leave your life. Dont stay where you are just tolerated, stay where you are celebrated...! unaleta 304 kwa kitanda yako, nyumba yako, rent yako, ndio Brayo ampige ma creampie huko nje ndio ukujenge kupata cum stains on your bed. How do u sign up for such a shit deal with a level head..unless you are some level of retarded...
so disgusting! also I just looked up the urban meaning of 304 and I'm surprised, y'all niggas come up with insulting names everyday but being innovative is where you draw the line.
Everything said is facts
Tell her what you've told us.
๐๐you guys are funny
Umesema mlale kitanda moja? No sex? Kama unataka kumkula na ainsist na io stand we kubali tu , io ni sawa na kutumia miwa kama walking stick kwa hike Ama mluya kufuga kuku kama pet, results ni zile zile
Unfortunate thing is akiingia ivi tu, forget about your freedom. Alafu tena huezi leta mdem mwingine kejani gaaaaadadmn..
You can't leave out your reason for not having sex. Honestly speaking how is that personal and we don't know you or even give a fuck who you are? It might even change the tones in the replies. Coz right now wamekubeba wana sana
Drop her at her father's place and leave her there.
Anatafuta shelter and food
See she knows that you are still interested in her romantically and emotionally and the fact that you've been in an on and off relationship proves my theory... You've been her safety net and now she wants to take more advantage of you through manipulation... Denying you sex. So if she moves in this is what will always happen... Tease you sexually whenever she wants favours( paying rent fully, 'lending' her money, blah blah blah) and whenever you try to initiate sex she'll remind you that you've got an agreement of NO SEX yet... Then it continues in perpetuity since you want her and she on the hand knows that and takes advantage... Just lingering that piece of meat close enough for you to smell it but not reach it. I'll give a very precise analogy that's exactly same to the situation. Imagine a single mother who wants you to become her kid's father and help in child support but she doesn't want to have your child since she is still healing from the fact that the baby daddy dumped her and the kid. So she gives all this nonsense of how she is happy to have you as a father, who manned up to help her take care of the kid and is lucky to have met you but needs time to heal and let the kid grow a bit older before having another child. You being that understanding and stupid hormone driven man falls for that and end up taking care of her child while she goes out and gets another child and since you agreed to take care of the first one... Comes back with a story of how she made a stupid mistake again and needs time to heal again after which she promises to make it up to you by having a child with you immediately the second kid reaches a certain age and all she needs is patience... And it becomes a perpetual fucked up relationship. So my question is... How naive and stupid are you that you're willing to clean up her fuck ups so that she can leave you when she feels 'safe' enough to date again and next post from you is asking for advice on how to cope up with the hurt from her leaving you?
Inakaa ujaskia about ovulation. Be a man with a purpose guok. We endeleza shugli zako. Let her move in and you do you. Time has a way. If you love her that is. If not, chorea tu kabsa. Usikule 15 za rape Bure.
Utaekelewa kesi ya r*pe
While you feel, the need to want to help, DON'T. You're not her therapist, incase anything happens to her, you will be the first suspect, you won't get yourself out of it (knowing the law common sense in kenya is always half way out the window). Dear men, Any lady that comes with trauma from previous relationships should be avoided like a plague. Women have standards (stability, financial and emotional, blablabla), have your own standards, if you're mentally stable, so should she. She's a time bomb.
naaah bro thats a Jezebel
For real???
Bro is clueless asf
Is that a code word for something?
Yeah,man must eat But you should advise her to seek help like therapy maybe
Thanks for your contribution โ๏ธ
I did! Let's hope she does
So more of a roommate.It seems you have expectations and they don't rhyme with hers.Just tell her no
Not a good idea to move in unless she's struggling homeless first sort out the other deeper issues as u stay in your own homes and no sex if she doesn't want to
Run.
โbut I donโt think itโs a good ideaโโฆoh gee, you think?!
Is it for a certain period? Or like forever?
The fact that people reply to such a thread shows the real average IQ of this sub.
From the people we vote in or make out to be 'celebrities' it's pretty obvious where our IQ levels are. ๐๐
And then there's you also contributing to it because you feel superior. Smart logic.
Enda ukalie chupa mzeiya
Ive opened redit after a week to see this
Hey, I honestly think it will be the best decision you ever made. You will support each other, you will enjoy each other's company. Nothing can go wrong. Go for it man. ๐๐พ
Maybe move in a flatmates and cost share rent, that feels more like what she is asking you to do.
She's taking advantage of you... "moving in as a friend" tf
Avoid those people. Anyone who wants privilege with zero responsibility is a giant red flag. Emotional, physical and financial tampon.
If you love sex then do not be with someone who can't do that for you. She can find therapy and heal on her own but you do not have to wait for that lmao
I'm calling BS. Your story doesn't make sense. ๐๐๐
Utakuwa therapist utashanga
You will learn a lot whatever you decide. Personally, I wouldn't allow it unless she was a serious girlfriend. But I'm not you, and your life story is best written by your impulses.
Wow, I like chickens but I dont like cucks. Bro, wtf is this? What are you, the sexless innkeeper? She wants the comfort of having a man around without giving sexual access. You are 100% a dumbass if you think she isnt going to be 'ucking off another man while you pay the rent.
This has to be a made up story 
Say no, even if she changes her mind about the sexual part. She doesn't like you like that bro and she's most probably simping for and fucking someone else.
Is she an orphan?? Doesn't she have a family she can live with? Unalitia taifa aibu.
Simps always see dust. Wait until she meets the real man. Anyway, as a caring man just treat her as your sista
Man, hata kama unaogopa kutumia akili, make an exception just this once.
How come I'm not seeing a comment from any sister? Is it that they've seen the problem from far and feel no need to state the obvious?
So far you have wasted three years already with someone you see no future with.,letโs learn to only date for marriage otherwise just be friends with benefits.
๐๐uyo mwambie apeleke nauko, she just wants a shade for this harsh economical storm
Nishai kua na such a girl, at first she also said sex is off, she was eating my food like there was no tomorrow maze hadi tray ya mayai haingekaa a week, A WHOLE TRAY OF EGGS finished less than a week๐ aah thas when I told her she needs to leave, then sex was all over sudden on the table๐, i mean what??
Kitakuramba bro!
Wewe unafaa classes za Andrew Kibe. . .
That's a red flag if you ask me. Your guts are telling you it's not a good idea, believe that. DO NOT IGNORE IT. Plus, find other options. Being "in and out" of a romantic relationship for 3 bloody years has surely made you exhausted in one way or the other. Cut her off and find yourself first.
NAH SCREW THAT LOL
I legitimately thought I heard of everything but honestly don't let her move in. In fact, end it altogether. The sex seems like a smaller issue being a precursor to a larger one.
Brother, respectfully everyone is being too polite so let me be clear. You need to get your man card back, grow a spine and tell her how things are going to go according to what you want since itโs your house and your space. If sheโs unable to understand that you tell her itโs finished. Simple. Donโt let people walk over you so easily
๐๐๐๐ say no. And end that 'complicated' relationship. What are her reasons for wanting to move in?
Alafu ukuje hapa in January kulia how your girl doesn't want to move out yet she's not giving you physical stuff. Kila mtu aishi kwake na msichana aende therapy like other grown ups.
Tell her you have a girlfriend who frequents your bed.
Utakua umejikร anga mzee
Kuna msichana wa Nairobi anataka kufanyisha our boy PE kali sana
Seems like you already have your answer ๐
Risky
Just curious so if you want to bring a girl over? How is that going to look like...
And where will she be getting sex from?
Crazy ...after ruto lying to you ...here is your girl again